All language subtitles for The aaAdored

So, Maia, what do you think of the scenery?

The landscape, I mean. Not the
woman pissing in a field.

It's lovely.

It's all right. A bit of
sunshine wouldn't go amiss.

You know, miss Allman...

call me Frankie.

Francesca and miss Allman
makes me feel really old.

Frankie. I just wanted
to say thank you

for agreeing to this at such short notice.

It's not a problem.
It's an absolute pleasure.

Barbara showed me the photos
of the shoot you did in 2009.

I was thoroughly impressed.

Thank you.

She said that was the last time you modeled.

This lake. It's beautiful.

Indeed.

- Let me take that.
- Don't be silly!

You're my guest.
Relax. Enjoy.

I don't think there'll be any trouble there.

So, do you live here alone?

And do you do all of your work from here?

Most of the time.

So, do you have a partner?

Partner? How politically correct of you.

- Sorry, I...
- Don't worry. I'm only teasing.

To be honest,

it's a little bit complicated at the moment.

But when isn't it?

I hear you're married.

Maia?

Married?

Yeah.

You have to check?

It's an amazing house.

Let's go into the drawing room.

Your photos pay for all of this?

Wouldn't that be nice?

No. The house
kind of pays for itself.

What do you mean?

Well, I live here alone out of season,

and the rest of the year I have company.
I rent it as a holiday home.

I've had a few names.

Even royalty.

Really?

I won't name names,

but let's just say this house
has seen a few things.

It gives them the privacy they need,

which gives me an excuse to
keep the house looking great.

It's so quiet.
There's so much space.

Nobody around for miles.

You like reading?

Well, I try. There's
just so much out there.

All of these your photos?

Lots of people are drawn to that one.

It's funny how it happened.
She was a friend of mine.

Came to me straight after her brother's funeral.

She was absolutely distraught.

She was so vulnerable, and yet so elegant,

so I asked if I could take a photo.

What did she say?

She stared at me for a few moments

and then said,

'I don't give a fuck'.

So raw.

It's beautiful.

I couldn't agree more.

Use this as your dressing room.

Stunning.

And if you want to freshen up...

Thank you.

I'll make us some lunch

and then we can take some photos afterwards.

- Do you need a hand?
- No.

You've had a long journey.

Relax, unpack your outfits.

Thank you.

Treat this place like your own.

I'll call you when it's ready.

Are you happy with your time line, Adrian?

Yes.

Do you realize that this
time line is completely different

from the one you did the first time?

What do you mean?

When you came in for your first session
I asked you for your first happy memory.

Today, you wrote your first happy memory

was the day you passed your driving test,

which occurred at the age of 18.

Yes.

Do you remember what you wrote last time?

It's different?

Yes.

I don't understand.

So, how do you feel about being here?

Stupid.

Embarrassed. Ashamed.

You feel all those things?

Yes.

Why?

Because now I can see what I did wrong.

I can see things so clearly when
I'm in the right frame of mind,

but when I'm wound up, I...

What do you struggle with?

What does anybody struggle
with when they're wound up?

What do you want from me?

Why do you have to question everything?

I see red. I feel
pissed off. Angry.

And you're angry now?

Of course I'm fucking angry.
You can see I'm fucking angry.

And what did we say to do when you're angry?

Don't tell me.

Relax.

Stay calm.

Deep breaths.

It might work when I'm in the office,

but what about outside?
What about in the real world?

I'm not in here for punching a psychiatrist.

That's good, Adrian.

What is?

This is the first time you have been
so honest about your vulnerability.

Of course, it does mean that I won't
be able to sign you off today.

Okay. What's the main purpose
of the visit?

What do you mean?

What do you want me to do?

Well, you know,

it's just it's been a long time, you know?

Maia...

if you want me to do something specific for you,

then you have to let me know
what we're aiming for.

Otherwise, you will leave unhappy,

and none of my clients ever leave unhappy.

That's quite a statement.

I need an answer.

When I see those photos,
I don't recognize myself.

That was a different time.
That woman is not me anymore.

So...

what we're talking about,
is reinventing yourself.

I guess so, yeah.

Well in that case,

it was fate that brought you here.

The thinness of this material

will really pick up your beautiful contours,

make really beautiful silhouettes.

Do you think my hips look too big in this?

It's perfect.

Do you want me to get changed now?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's change position.

Look at me.

Head down slightly.

More.

Look into the mirror.

Look at yourself.

What are you thinking about, Maia?

Do you like what you see?

What about your husband?

What?

When's the last time he held you?
Made love to you?

What does that have to do with anything?

Nothing. You're not answering
these questions, remember.

Still, I'd rather not talk about it.

That bad?

Please change the subject.

What happened?

I said stop.

Whose fault was it,
yours or his?

Frankie, please!

Excellent.

You're gonna love those.

Get changed into your next outfit

and I'll get us some water.

Nice.

Carry on.

Where did you do it?

That's it. Don't laugh.
Be serious.

Scary.

No!

Carry on.

Nice.

Bit more of the Vixen.

Vixen?
Vixen.

Lovely.

Don't you think they're beautiful?

The daffodils.

New life.

Nice. Carry on.

As if you wish someone were kissing you.

Is everything all right?

On the bed.

Good.

And... take your shirt off.

What?

Take your shirt off.

What's the big deal?

It's just... I've never
done topless before.

It's not really going to be topless.

Trust me.

- Right.
- What are you doing?

If this is the only way
to make you feel comfortable,

then so be it.

I'm not entirely sure that it will.

This is the human body!

This is my human body.

You may not find it on a magazine,

but it's mine, and it's all I have.

And in this world,
if somebody like me isn't shy,

then somebody like you
really shouldn't be.

I see vulnerable.

I see a real woman.

I see you.

Are you all right now?

Adrian, when you first came here,

I asked you for your earliest happy memory.

You said it was when you met your partner.

Today, your happy memory is years earlier,

when you passed your driving test.

Already, your mind has
changed. You've changed.

Nothing is pre-destined.

You can choose to be whatever you want to be.

Now, if you had to choose
a word to describe how you feel,

not necessarily right now,
but generally, recently,

what would it be?

Isolation.

Go on.

Quite often.

Very often,

I don't want it to be, but...

at times I feel that seclusion is
the best thing for me, you know?

I try so hard with the...
the day-to-day things.

I go to work.
I communicate with people,

I even force a smile if I have to.

But even then,

I'm not there. Not really.

So why do you do it?

Go through the motions, I mean.

Well, what else is there?

Adrian, what is it that you
feel that you're missing?

Love.

Love?

What does love mean to you?

I think about the woman I love.

Thanks.

You know, I can't believe that in a day
I feel so much better.

It's like I can really breathe here.

Cheers.

Listen. I'm not doing
anything this weekend.

Why don't you stay and
I can show you the coastline?

It's really stunning.

- Sorry.
- No. It's not that. I'd love to stay.

- It's just, my husband and I have plans this...
- Well, look, the offer's there.

I'm just going to relax,
get some fresh air,

and it would be really lovely
having you you.

That's all.

Hi, honey.

No.

No, actually.

I... I that's what I was calling for.

I just wanted to speak to you.

it's absolutely beautiful here

and the photographer that I've been working with

asked if I wanted to stay
for the weekend, and I said...

No. I said yes, because...

If you could just see it here,
it is so beautiful, and...

I'm not...

I'm not coming home tonight.
I'm staying for the weekend.

It's not about the shoot anymore.
I just want to stay for the weekend.

I'm going to stay.

It's about me needing the space!

I know...

I'm staying and I'll see you on Sunday.

Is there something wrong with your food?

No, it's lovely, there was just so much!

I thought you might have worked up an appetite.

Treat yourself.

I suppose you're right.

You know, I've had such a good day.
Thank you, Frankie.

Don't be silly.
You were fantastic.

That wasn't me.

I've never been directed like that before.

Barbara didn't warn me you were quite so...

Direct.

That's as good a word as any.

I always tell her not to.

The element of surprise is crucial to my work.

I was definitely surprised.

Especially when we both
ended up half naked.

I did not see that coming.

I did.

Let me see the photos?

I never show my work until it's ready.

I'm going to get another bottle of wine,

and you go into the drawing room
and make yourself cozy.

Drawing room?

What?

I thought I just saw something outside.

Maybe it was a crazed farmer.

What crazed farmer?

You know Percy Bysshe Shelley used to live here?

The poet?

You know him?

By name.

Well, you know he was
the husband of Mary Shelley?

As in, the creator of 'Frankenstein'?

The very same.

And this is the very same house

where the story of 'Frankenstein'
was conceived.

And you decide to tell me this story now?

One night, a crazed farmer with a shotgun

came to the house and shot at Percy three times.

Really?

Why?

Nobody knows,

and that's precisely what led Mary Shelley

to wonder the same thing.

What motivates a monster to do such things?

Alas...

the idea of Frankenstein was born.

Here?

Right through that window.

So, did it kill him?

No.

He drowned in Italy.

Not the luckiest man to have lived, was he?

Describe her to me.

What do you mean?

Well, do you find her attractive?

Of course. If anything,
she's too attractive.

Too attractive?

Yeah.

How so?

Sometimes she gets looks

and remarks off scumbag strangers.

People have even come on to her in front of me.

- And does that make you angry?
- Well what do you think?

It's just so goddamn fucking rude

and people should have more respect!

Calm down.

Do you trust her?

I don't trust anyone.

Just a minute.

Come in.

Just checking everything's all right.

Everything's perfect, Frankie. Thank you.

Right.

Well, I'm just down the
hall if you want anything.

Okay.

Give me a shout if you need me.

Will do.

She's so independent,

and although that's one of
the things I love about her,

I also hate it.

There are moments...

when I want her to need me.

What, you need to feel valued?

You want attention and affection?

- Yes.
- Well, that's like anybody, that's not uncommon.

It's not?

Absolutely not.
It's perfectly natural.

Sometimes I just watch her.

Just look at her when she doesn't know,

I can really see her vulnerability.

Frankie, is that you?

They're the moments I enjoy the most.

I'm not sure of your meaning.

What meaning?

Are you telling me that you've
never looked or watched a loved one

when they're busy or

when they're asleep?

It's so peaceful.

And in these moments,
and they don't even know

they're your whole world.

I'm going to break one of my rules.

Okay.

Seriously?

I think you need to see some of these.

Only a few, mind.

Okay.

Click left to scroll.

What is this?

It's you and a little girl called Chloe.

Don't say that name.

- Who's Chloe?
- I said don't!

You don't have the right to do this!

I'm sorry, Maia.

It's just I've never seen anything like that.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

I just saw such beauty in that moment.

Anyway, it's your private business,

so you shouldn't have to talk about it
if you don't want to.

I promised to show you around.

It's really peaceful here.

Could be just what you need.

I remember the first time I came out here.

I was absolutely petrified.

The boat rocks so bloody much, doesn't it?

I'm taking you to a really secluded beach.

It's so quiet.

I could go and come back
without seeing anybody.

One or two people...
that is a busy day.

It's the closest thing we've
got round here to paradise.

Freezing, isn't it?

Isn't it strange how sometimes
you can forget to feel?

We tried so hard, my husband and I.

For years we did everything by the book.

We were desperate to start a family,

and the day I felt pregnant,
I knew. I just knew.

And the test came back positive.

You should have seen the look on his face.

He picked me up in his arms
and we made love for hours.

I'd never known him to be so tender.

He insisted we go out for dinner to celebrate

and announced the pregnancy
to the whole restaurant,

and they cheered and congratulated us.

It was surreal...

to feel so important,
like something out of a movie.

It was the best night of my life.

How do you feel right now?

If you had to choose one word,
one overriding emotion, what would it be?

Loss.

Unbearable loss.

We've lost quite a lot.

We've lost our world...

I'm so desperately trying to get it back.

I've just no idea what to do,

and everything I do do

just pushes her further away,

and I don't know what to do.

When I asked you about your
happiest memory together,

do you remember what you said?

Yes.

I spoke about when we first met.

It was so natural, so exciting.

The first touch.
Our first kiss.

My stomach was in knots,

but then when I felt her heart beat so wildly,

I knew she felt the same and...

I knew everything would be okay.

Everything was fine until
my body started to change.

I panicked.

All those years of dieting and exercise,

and then suddenly I had no regime.

Even when I tried,

I couldn't keep the weight off.

I worried that my body would
never be the same again.

I started to ignore all the
advice that our doctor gave me

and suddenly, I just hated the pregnancy

and I wished that the baby would come out of me.

In the end, she did.

It was me that killed her,

and my husband knows it,
and now I have nothing.

Me and my husband, we're good people.

We wanted nothing more
than to have that baby.

And you're angry because you feel cheated?

Cheated?

No. That doesn't even
begin to cover it.

To lose a baby is one thing,

but to complete a pregnancy,

and they tell you that there's
nothing they can do...

when you have to give birth to your baby

and there's nothing but silence,

and your child's there to look at,

and she's there for you to hold
but you know you can't take her home.

To know that you've gone that far,

and you'll never get to know her, is just...

What you had to go through, it's not fair,

but come on.

You think you're the only woman

that tries to keep in shape
while she's pregnant?

I've been around models all my life,

and believe me Maia, you're
not the one with problems.

It wasn't you fault.

My husband doesn't even look
at me in the same way anymore.

I think we're over.

Well...
shame on him.

And if what you say is true then dare I say it,

maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.

No, he's a good man.

No men are good, Maia.

Why do you think I'm the way I am?

Trust me,

you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Everything will fall into place...
you'll see.

I wish I could.

What?

I don't know, be more free,

self-assured, comfortable
with who I am, like you.

Like me?

You're so together and happy, you...

You know what you want
and don't care what you say,

you just do it anyway.

You're in complete control
of you life and it's admirable.

Is that what you think of me?

Of course.

The beach is just over there.

Let's bring her in.

Do you have any family?

Just my parents.

No brothers or sisters.
One aunt.

My last remaining grandparent
died last year.

My grandma was one
of the few people I could talk to.

Last year was definitely one to forget.

What about hobbies?

- What about them?
- Do you have any?

No.

There must be something.

Does wallowing
in self-pity count?

I'm glad that amuses you.

I never realized this place was so vast.

I wish I lived here.

What's wrong with London?

It's too crowded.

Too claustrophobic.

Sometimes it gets so much
I feel like I can't breathe.

Name your favorite animal
and three reasons why.

What is this?

- I'm analyzing you.
- Analyse.

And, only one-word answers.

- Really?
- Really.

A cat, because they are loving,
loyal and pretty.

Okay.

Now your favorite wild animal,
and three reasons why.

Wild animal?

A tiger, because they are dangerous,
powerful and ferociously stunning.

Okay.
That makes sense.

Oh God, is this where you tell me
I'm in denial

because on both occasions I chose a pussy?

No!

The domestic animal is how people see you.

The wild animal is how you wish to be seen.

So...

does nothing else excite you
other than modeling?

Honestly?

No.

It sounds so desperate when I say it,

but it's truly the only thing
I'm good at.

There's really nothing else to me.

I wouldn't say that.

Okay. You're okay.

What?

You've only been here one day

and already provided me with
the most incredible story.

You saved a life today.

Oh my god, I hadn't thought about it like that.

What other way is there to think about it?

I don't know. I just pulled a
man out of the water, I guess.

Bollocks.

Don't be silly.
Anyone would have done the same thing.

Cheers.

Love, Love?
Know any K.D. Lang?

I need a piss.

Thanks for that.

Get them in, boys.

You all right, sexy?

Gonna put on a bit of a show for us later?

Keep your knickers on, love.

One more comment and I will slice
your fucking balls.

We're going home.

Frankie. Frankie, hang on a second.
Are you all right?

What happened in there?

Frankie...

I can't stand obnoxious people.

I just told him to stop being such a pig.

And I'm sure he listened to that.

Come on, tell me.
What happened in there?

Let's just say he won't have the balls
to say anything like that to you again.

Really?

You stood up for me.

I never let anybody shake up my girl.

Let's go home.

Come in.

Brought you some fresh towels.

Which I've already done.

I completely forgot.

Sorry.

Frankie, wait.

Thank you.

You know, for what you did
for me tonight.

That's all right.

I just feel the need to protect you...

that's all.

And when you picture her
with someone else?

Why would you say that?

Why would you put that vivid,
sick image in my head?

Stay calm.

I am calm.

Simply asking.

You said you didn't trust anyone...

so presumably you've
pictured her with other people.

Yes.

And how does it make you feel?

Jealous.

I see red.

I have thoughts of hurting that person.

You have violent thoughts?

Yes.

Would you say that you're
a violent person?

Come on!
You've seen what I've done.

Yes, but I'm not here to judge you.

This is just a piece of paper,
whereas you are a person.

I want to know if you see yourself as violent.

No.

- What is it?
- There's someone there.

There's no one around for miles.

No, there's someone there

and I saw the same thing last night
outside my room.

Last night? You didn't say anything.

I thought it was you,
and then I woke up and I forgot.

Look, there's someone out there.

Hello, is there anybody there?

They must have moved.

I just want to check outside.

So, there's nobody inside the house,

and...

nobody outside the house.

I saw someone.

I don't know what to tell ya babe,

I've lived here eight years
and never had any problems.

But that's the second time now.

So you say...

but the only person I found walking
around the house last night was you.

What are you saying?

Nothing.

It's just been a long weekend.
You're tired...

Are you saying I'm making this up?

No! Not on purpose.

- But, that's twice...
- Maia...

where is the evidence,

that there's been anybody else
in this house other than us?

Why don't we...

go and lock up,
every single door and window

and carry on from where we left off?

No, it just doesn't feel right.

All right. Well then,
I'll come and tuck you up

and make sure the boogeyman
doesn't come and get...

No, not about that.
About us.

Not worry.

You go up and...

I'll lock up down here and
I will call you in the morning.

- I'm really s...
- Go to bed, Maia.

You thinking of her?

Always.

I adore her.

And what is it you most miss?

I miss...

laying next to her.

I miss the touch of her skin.

The smell of her hair.

She keeps me warm.

She makes me feel warm.

That's what allows me to remember.

Stop! Stop, get off!

What's wrong?

Maia, what the fuck is wrong?

What are you doing?

- Thought that'd be pretty obvious.
- I was asleep!

Maia.

You're the one that came in here.

You know what?

Just go back to your room.

But Frankie, I...

I honestly thought
that I'd had my fair share

of whack jobs recently, but you...

- Frankie, let me explain.
- No!!!

I had enough of this!

I guess we can rule out
an intruder in the house

because you are fucking crazy!

Just get out!

What do you remember?

That we survive.

That we'll be okay.

But there's just one problem.

Which is?

I think she's having an affair.

For god's sake Maia,
put some clothes on.

I'm sorry.
I just literally...

What do you want for breakfast?

Are you really not going back to bed?

I can't sleep.

But it's so early.

Well, I thought if we got up early

then we could do what we planned
and you can get an early train back.

Maybe I should just go straight
to the station now.

No, no.

We made plans.

It won't take us long to do them.

Eggs, bacon and toast.

Yeah. That sounds great.
Thanks.

Get yourself washed.

Be ready in twenty minutes.

I want to show you something.

- Frankie.
- What is it now?

Are you stuck?

Somehow, yes I am.

Frankie, what are you doing?
Help me up.

You know I was, about to...

but maybe this is the perfect time
to get a few things off my chest.

You're kidding me, right?

No, Maia.

No, I'm not.

What does it feel like, Maia,

to know what you want?

To be so close to achieving it,

to physically see what it is
that you want,

and then to be told
no right at the last second?

Pretty frustrating?

Well...

I guess this is what happens
when you start letting yourself go.

The last couple of days
eating like a little fat pig

seem to have caught up with you.

Stop it, Frankie!

It's a shame you didn't eat like that
when you were carrying Chloe.

How could you be so spiteful?

Help me up!

Did you just tell me what to do?

Have you even grasped the situation?

I mean, I know you are not
the sharpest tool in the shed,

but you do realize
that you are in no position

to be making demands right now.

I'm not kidding. I...

I don't think I can breathe.

But you can, you see?

That's the beauty of it.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you.

It's just that you've lost control.

A little bit like last night.

Maybe it's a mental,
psychotic tick that you have.

Can you hear that?

Can you hear that?

That is the sound of nobody caring.

- Sound familiar?
- Bitch!

Your fucking husband had a lucky escape.

He's been discovering all weekend

how fucking better his life is without you.

He's probably been fucking
some little whore every night,

while you've been here
trying to fuck with my head!

Are you sad, Princess?

Has something happened to upset you?

Well, good.

Maybe now you'll understand.

Coming here,
treating me like an experiment

for a confidence boost.

And did you ever think about me?

Ask about my life?
My problems? No!

Because your life is so fucking important!

Well, never mind.

Looks as though you're getting
your comeuppance now, doesn't it?

You self-obsessed,

mind-game playing,

attention-seeking little cunt!

Stop it!

Stop it, Frankie!

Stop it, Frank!

Stop it!

Just stop it! Stop it!

That is not a good look.

I see ugly.

Just say please, Maia.

Please.

Please.

I couldn't hear that.

Please!

Just a little louder.

Please!

All right.

Seeing as you asked so nicely.

I'm sorry.

- I just want to go home!
- No, not like this.

You can stay another night,
and I'll take you home tomorrow.

I want just to go home.

Well, you can't,
so why don't you stop being so selfish

and try repair some of the
damage that you've just done?

The damage that I've done?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What do you mean?

You can't make someone love you.

You're fucking crazy like.

Why would I want to spend
any more time with you ever again?

How could I?

We have something special.

Special? I hate you!

The way you made me feel last night.
You said that you loved it.

The way you made me feel in there?

When I was trapped and scared,
and the things that you said?

That's the worst that I've ever felt!

Do you understand?

Fine.

Now try getting home,
you little fucking tease.

Please Maia. Please don't.
Please stay stay stay, please!

- Get off me!
- I'm so sorry! Please stay!

No!!!