Original subtitles

Officer down!

I'm in the freaking bedroom.

Come on, I'm in the bedroom! Come and get me!

Come on, man.

This isn't...

- Is he wearing underwear? I don't know.

Think it's funny, right?

Come on, just give me the key. Unlock me.

Come on, unlock me. John, no, don't do that.

That's not right. Don't, stop, stop.

Stop, stop, stop.

Three officers started out the day thinking they had nothing in common.

By end of shift, two of them found out this was not true.

What happened to Dr. Breslow? - He retired rather suddenly, I'm afraid.

- Did he get shot? - What? Uh, no.

- No? - No, no.

Thought maybe a hostage situation or something.

Yes. - How long you been doing this?

Um, this is my second day.

Your sec...? All right.

Well, you're doing good.

- Well, uh, thank you very much. - Yeah, sure.

What kind of practice did you have before this?

Private.

The well-off worried...

...should their kids transfer from Crossroads to Harvard-Westlake?

Someone got a better facelift than someone else. That sort of thing.

I went to Harvard-Westlake.

Oh.

I transferred out after a semester.

My father stopped paying the tuition.

- How'd you feel about that? - What?

How did you feel about that?

I was pretty confused at that point.

My, uh... My father walked out on my mom and me.

We were living in this big house off of Sunset.

I started going to public school.

Dr. Breslow mentioned...

...that there was a violent incident in your childhood.

Is that right?

Would you mind my asking what happened?

My father's a defense attorney.

One of his clients broke into our house.

My father had already split.

My mom and I were there.

Go on.

They beat her up.

You saw this?

Yeah, I did.

How old were you?

I was 10.

So you're 10 years old, your father walks out on you...

...drug dealers beat up your mom, and it's fine?

And now I'm a cop. Thank you, Dr. Freud.

It says here that this is your last session.

How do you feel about the shooting?

I'm okay with it.

I didn't enjoy it.

It was unavoidable.

Some guys, they work 20 years and never have to shoot anybody.

Yeah, so it's weird, how much it means to guys like that.

I'm okay with it.

Good. Good.

Good. All right, well, I'm gonna go to work.

All right, well, I, uh... I wish you luck.

Yeah, you too.

- So that wraps it up there, right? Yep.

Being from Beverly Hills and all, you must have been in lots of therapy.

Yeah, it's definitely not my first time at the rodeo.

- What about you? You ever been in therapy? - Yeah.

When my marriage ended.

It was good.

Worked some things out.

Six Adam 43, may have a possible stolen vehicle...

...at 455 Tiffany Circle.

What the hell does that mean?

Donte? Po-po's here.

Yeah. All right. Peace.

Sir, your car was stolen?

Yeah. Azure got jacked.

Playoffs coming up, dude. I can't be in that kind of trouble.

Could you be more specific?

Went out last night, hit some places...

...came home, some people came to chill...

...and the Bentley Azure got jacked.

So you wanna file a police report for a stolen vehicle?

You ever go for some strange?

Excuse me?

All right. All right, come here.

Come here.

Ahem. I'm married, all right?

My wife is in St. Barts with Donte Jr. She has this dog, a Great Dane.

I don't give a fuck about the car. Insurance will cover it.

But you gotta get me the dog back.

Now, she comes home tomorrow. Gotta get me the dog.

I got some pictures of it somewhere.

Sir, do you or do you not want to file a police report?

I'm married, motherfucker. I can't be filing no report.

So women took the car?

Yeah, women took the car.

- And you don't wanna file a report? - You ain't listening, bro.

Protect and serve, motherfucker.

You got something against me? I got rights.

Sir, you have to file a police report.

We're not private detectives.

All right.

All right, all right. I got a better idea.

I go with you, we go looking around. I got some ideas where the bitches be at.

Wait here, let me change, all right? Ten, 15 minutes.

I can't even...

Fifteen Adam 85, a possible overdose at 3321 Mulholland.

Ha, ha. Possible overdose now.

- 2791. RD- 1579.

They said they'd been doing drugs, she started to choke.

I guess she was overdosing, they'd been partying all night.

Anyway, she's choking, he panics, says he wanted to give her a tracheotomy.

I guess he missed.

So I guess it's a suspicious death, right?

No.

No, it's not a suspicious death. This isn't a frigging Agatha Christie novel.

There's accidental death, suicide and homicide.

This is homicide. He's going in for murder.

You should give him one of your dad's cards.

This guy? He's gonna need a good lawyer. Let's go.

Why are you arresting me? I tried to save her life.

With a Bic pen?

I just got shot. Where are we? - I don't know.

Every time I turn, look at the sign.

- You gotta know where we are. - I got it.

This is it. This is it.

Put the gun down. Shoot her, shoot her!

I spent all weekend with this scumbag, and then he stops payment on the check!

I spent three days with this scumbag and then he stops payment...

Put it down! Put the gun down.

Put the gun down now. We'll deal with that later!

- Put your gun down right now! Put the gun down!

Put the gun down right now!

Please don't shoot me. I'm begging you, please don't.

Get her, get her, get her.

She's gonna kill me.

Put your hands on the car. What?

- Turn around. - Wait a minute.

- Put your hands on the car. - I'm the star of the movie.

- That's Timmy freaking Davis, man. - I thought you retired.

Retired? Bitch filed for divorce.

She wants half of my pension? Hell with that.

- Besides, I miss you guys. Why don't you arrest him?

I spent three days with him, doing every single thing he wants...

...and then he bounces my check?

All right. I'll write you another...

It's a misunderstanding. I didn't have enough money.

I love your movies. Really?

- Huge fan. I love Body Bag. - You should be.

Body Bag 2 is coming out. It's the bomb.

Aw, sweet.

Go down to the station. Talk with the detectives.

- Oh, no. I'm shooting a movie right now. - I understand that.

- We can smooth this out. Smooth it out? What are you...?

You know what? Maybe you should retire.

She's pointing a loaded gun at him. This is ADW. She's going to jail.

Look, come on, guys. I'll just write her another check.

- He'll write another check. No big deal.

How about we clear it up with the detectives?

Or we can do that.

I got him. I got him. I got him.

You go with her, okay? I got him.

Give me the weapon.

Hey, I'm...

- Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go. - Okay.

Officer Dudeck, is it? Okay.

Bring him in, Dewey. I gotta get changed.

All right, all right, all right. - You start taking witness statements.

Come here.

I'll get your cuffs back to you.

You're booking him for murder?

Yes, we are.

This isn't a murder.

I didn't murder anyone.

Well, when the coroner's report comes back, we'll see.

But right now it's a 187 PC. And you're bailing him out anyway.

- So what's the difference? - The victim's sister is here.

He was trying to help her. He should get an award for this.

Right. You get awards for saving lives, not taking them.

Miss Campbell? Mm-hm.

Why don't you have a seat, okay?

Just... Just tell me.

She's... She's dead, right?

Yes. I'm very sorry.

She OD'd, right?

Well, we're not exactly sure.

What the hell does that mean?

She was doing some drugs.

She passed out...

...and the man who she was with tried to do a tracheotomy on her...

...and he cut her carotid artery and she bled to death.

There was no reason for him to leave.

- He was... I understand.

We're working on it. Good luck.

Good luck on the movie. Yeah.

Is that the director? - Oh, yeah.

Dude.

Hold on, baby. What's up?

Hey, guess what? L...

I did hire your dad. And I hooked up with your sister again.

We're all going out tonight. You wanna cruise?

Baby? Yeah, guess who I'm standing here with.

Yeah. It's for you.

Hey, Olivia.

Yeah?

Wanna search my trailer?

Yeah. I'll call you later, yeah.

- So you coming out tonight or what? No.

Yeah, baby. Isn't that crazy?

You think you are the only ones who work? Keep me waiting for an hour?

Okay. So let me get this straight.

Therapy in the morning, a little chitchat on the phone.

You wanna go to Spago for lunch?

- I hate that place. The guys are too old. - Shut up.

What the hell are you doing?

People become cops for two reasons:

They need the paycheck or they like to carry a gun and tell people what to do.

All right, now, you... Ha.

You surely don't need the money.

I don't think you're a freak.

So, what the hell are you doing here?

- I'm a cop, same as you're a cop. - Oh, bullshit, Richie Rich.

When I joined, this was the only job I could get making 30 thou a year.

It's better than digging ditches.

I left my wallet in my trailer, bro.

Oh, be cool, man. That's embarrassing. Give me a C-note.

Come on.

Thanks.

Let's go. Let's go, come on.

Wait, wait, wait.

You're gonna drive. We're gonna have a cigar.

Dewey, are you kidding me? You can't smoke in there.

Who cares? Lighten up a little bit.

Yeah, lighten up, sweetheart, okay? Have some fun.

Hey. You guys go ahead!

You ever think about acting? You know, like in the movies, like me?

- That works for you? Huh?

Women actually go for that?

Women go for anything I do.

Women go for it.

- She's a drag. Go on.

All units, a 211 in progress at 402 Genesee.

Two male Caucasians wearing dark clothing.

Whoa.

Light them up.

Hold on, darling.

Go.

Officer needs assistance.

Two suspects heading northbound on Genesee between the businesses.

Run, run!

Five-0's on you, baby. He's gaining on you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop! Stop!

Stop. Down.

Face down, arms at your side, now!

Down.

Spread them!

Six Adam 43, show suspects in custody at the rear of 1321/2 Genessee.

Copy that, Six Adam 43.

One thirty-two and a half?

That's right.

Those the guys that beat you?

No, that's not them.

Of course that's them. I saw them beating her.

Could you step inside, please?

Put them in the tank.

Look.

I know what's going on here.

These guys, they're hassling you every week, right?

You don't have to pay these people.

Is it just these two, or are there more?

Could you get my wig, please? It's...

We're the police.

We will protect you.

Look, you seem like a lovely gentleman...

...but who the hell do you think you're kidding?

Tell Dewey to take our suspect back with him.

I'm gonna stay here.

See if she'll change her mind.

Bentley and a Great Dane.

Want me to call it in?

No.

Anyway, I got this broad, I got her bent her over a sofa, right?

But I'm inebriated, right? I'm intoxicated.

And I pass out on top of her, and I'm smoking a cigar...

We're gonna hand you over our suspect. We gotta stay here.

- Fine. - Was Dewey in the back seat with him?

Don't ask.

Ma'am, we're gonna transfer you over now.

I had a Bentley once.

For a week.

Hey!

Hey, come on. You can't park there.

Jesus.

Ma'am, out of the car, please.

I'd rather stay with you.

Now, please. Come on.

Thanks.

- Dewey, where is he? - Who?

I don't know. He must have escaped.

You're such an asshole.

Watch your head.

Hey, I'm sorry. Whoa, whoa.

Hey, man. I don't wanna lose that.

Do you feel bad about what you told her?

What? What, "we're the police, we'll protect you"?

Yeah.

No. You don't lie to them like that, nobody ever gets put away.

But we can't protect them. Those guys are gonna come back.

Or two more just like them.

It is what it is.

This domestic we're going to, they're tricky.

You gotta be on your guard.

You get there and she's screaming at you to lock up the asshole who beat her up.

Go to put the cuffs on him, next thing you know...

...she's trying to rake your eyes out for locking up her beloved.

- Yeah, I got it. - Oh, yeah?

Mommy and Daddy didn't get along?

Little trouble in Beverly Hills?

What is your problem?

Well, you never said why you learned to shoot.

You said where, but you never said why.

- I wanted to learn. - Yeah.

Nobody shoots like you who didn't spend a lot of time doing it.

Just doesn't equate, Bijan.

How'd you learn?

My dad taught me.

In between stints in prison.

Why don't you try...?

- Open your ears and shut your mouth! Try to be a man!

Maybe you'll learn something! I should punch you in your mouth!

I should punch you!

This asshole has been hitting me again. I've been screaming all day.

You're a fucking liar! Yes, you have!

- Oh, get out of here. Hey, hey!

- Hey! Shut up! All right, listen...

Shut up right now! Shut up!

- Where are the kids? - They're in school, where do you think?

- You know what? You...

I'm sick of this. I'm not coming back here anymore.

- Put your hands on my badge. - What?

- What for? - I'm giving you a divorce.

You tripping. You can't do that. Sure I can.

Put your hand on my badge.

- Right hand. Get... Don't.

Get... - I said, don't touch me.

- Don't touch me. You get your goddamn hands off...

- Don't touch me! Get off me, get off me! Oh, crap.

You get... You watching this?

- All right now. Okay.

Do you wanna do this? Do you wanna do this?

Ah, please. Please!

- What you gonna do? - You got a choice right now.

You put your hand on my badge, and we take care of this.

Now.

Right hand.

By the power vested in me by the state of California...

...I now pronounce you divorced.

Now pack your bag and get the fuck out of here.

Go! You heard him. Get out!

Yeah, why don't you get off your ass sometime...

Ah! Get out. - Get your ass off the couch sometimes.

Look at this kitchen. Mop the kitchen floor sometimes.

Walk, walk! Broke! Broke ass!

I'll be back for your ass. - Shut up!

That's for damn sure. - Oh, please.

- You heard him, right? You believe it.

- You hear that? - Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Okay. No, I gotta call you back.

Why the hell you wearing a puss, huh?

You had a good day. Made a bust, pulled a gun off the street.

Dewey, you let him go. That's gonna come back to haunt us.

We needed his statement.

Why you gotta make such a big deal out of everything?

You've gotta be kidding me.

I put my ass on the line for you.

I gave you another shot when no one else would work with you. No one.

And now I'm gonna get in trouble? For this?

For that asshole? So you can impress him with what a big man you are?

You know what, Dewey?

I actually care about my job.

If this is the way you do police work, I want a new partner.

You on the rag? Hm?

This shift is freaking over, man. Relax.

She, uh, acted a little bit.

Barry was a producer.

Uh, she tried to write.

I'm a writer.

- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hm.

What do you write?

I just published my second novel.

That's...

- That's tremendous. - Mm.

Don't tell me you wanna write.

Well...

Busted.

I would, uh...

I would think that the things that you witness would be...

...very interesting.

And heartbreaking.

Have you tried?

Yeah. Yeah, I have.

- Short stories. Very short. - Mm.

I teach a class. You should come.

I'm a really good teacher.

- Yeah? - I would light a fire under your ass.

You actually produce for my class or I throw your ass out.

No excuses.

Hey. - Hey.

Um, we need to go do that interview.

This is Keren Campbell.

- I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you.

So, where do you live now?

Uh... In Los Feliz.

Sweet.

You all right? You all right?

Of course I'm all right.

Woo. Ha-ha-ha.

Thanks, bro.

Grab the tomatillo sauce.

You know, if those kids were there, I'd have handled that differently.

The only way it ends is if one of them leaves.

But they never do.

That or one of them kills the other one. Round and round.

It never ends. So fucking sick of it.

Your dad ever hit your mom?

Have to call West Latte police station, have them come over?

Man, what is it with you? Enough.

Tomatillo sauce. Can I get some napkins?

This thing's a class three.

- How the hell did you get a permit for this? - I didn't.

- Our props guy... Hey, man. Hey!

Props guy, he hooked me up.

He converted it from a semi to full auto.

- Hey, baby. This is my friend, uh, Dewey. Wow.

Is that a costume?

Yeah, I'm one of the Village People.

You the Y, the W, the C or the A, huh? Hey, be cool, man.

- Rambo. - I know.

Hey, this mother fires real live ammo, okay?

Coyote!

Dead coyote.

You like that thing?

Text all your little buddies?

I don't get it.

I want less ways for people to reach me, not more.

Oh, the lone wolf.

That's right, hombre.

You got yourself a hot date?

Yeah, it's my half-sister.

Don't you Beverly Hills folks date your sisters?

There's nothing wrong with that, right?

Oh.

Pull it over.

Hey, guys. How you doing tonight?

License and registration, please. - I got it in here somewhere.

- How you doing? - Uh, we're fine.

- This is registered to Donte Johnson. I know.

He gave it to me. It's a present.

What's the dog's name?

I do not recall.

Come on, ladies. You took the car, you took the dog.

No, no, no. It ain't even like that. No.

Donte is a real close friend.

I got a lot of close friends.

- You boys feel like a party? - No.

You sure?

He's sure.

Well, you can pet him. He's real nice and friendly.

True story.

I'm on this domestic call, right? Husband and wife.

This chick's been beat down.

Two black eyes. She's crying. I'm feeling bad.

What do you say to a woman who's got two black eyes?

What? - Nothing.

He done told that bitch twice. Aha!

What's the matter?

There's a bunch of girls here. Be cool.

- I'm an actor. Know your audience. All right, hey.

I need new material. Can you help me?

You do need new material. You can't have her.

Whoa. Wait, wait. You can't have her.

You know, I always knew, one way or another...

...that this guy would do her in.

You know, I'd send her to Hazelden.

She would stay straight for a few months, and then Barry would call...

...and he would say that he'd straightened up...

...and they needed each other, and she would go back to him.

Every time.

Why do women do that? Why do they go back to the men that hurt them?

I don't know.

It's a terrible disease.

No.

You know what? Screw that.

Lou Gehrig had a disease.

Muhammad Ali has a disease.

Michael J. Fox has a disease.

Franklin D. Roosevelt.

I don't... I don't...

Oh, God.

You're hilarious.

Are you married?

- Yeah. - Mm.

- I am. - Too bad.

Wanna go surf tomorrow?

Where?

I don't know. We could make a day of it and drive up the coast.

- Stop at the Fish Shack on the way back. - Cool.

Can Adam come?

- Which one's Adam? - I met him in sixth grade.

He's Samoan.

Sure.

What is it? Hey.

Hey, I need you to come get me right now.

- Where are you? - I don't know, I'm in Hollywood somewhere.

- I'm at Davis' place. - No way.

I'm fucked up right now.

Okay? I need you.

Why don't you call your wife, Dewey? Get her to come.

Wait, wait, listen to me. Listen to me.

I got a disorder, all right? I know I'm an ass, but...

I'm an alcoholic, okay? I'm working on the ninth step.

- I need to make amends with you. - Tonight?

Now. Right now.

- Yeah? I don't care about the car, Mannix.

I just want the damn dog.

- So you still won't press charges? - No, dog.

Just bring the car, the animal, whatever, back over to me here.

I'll take care of y'all.

Do I look like Anthony Pellicano?

Good luck in the playoffs, dog.

Let's go.

Ladies, you have a good night.

Thank you.

What?

What's the address?

We gotta make a little stop.

Hot fuzz.

You all right, dude?

Officer down!

I'm in the freaking bedroom.

Come on, I'm in the bedroom! Come and get me!

Come on, man.

This isn't...

- Is he wearing underwear? I don't know.

Think it's funny, right? Come on, just give me the key. Unlock me.

Coop, unlock me, okay?

Uh, hang on there. - No, don't do that.

That's not right. That's not cool. Don't do that, don't do that.

Rogue's gallery. Okay?

Some people say it doesn't exist.

- Now you know. Unlock it.

We document the colossal fuck-up.

The indescribably grotesque.

- The profane. Come on.

The ridiculous. The sacred.

Unlock me, man! Now!

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hold on.

Better get this. Here.

Ow. Ow.

- I don't want you to lose that. - Oh, shit.

Give me the key.

No, you got yourself into this, you get yourself out.

You're gonna just leave me here? - Where's your gun?

My pants are right here. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Where's the gun, dude?

It's...

Some chick took it.

Pray she's still here.

I swear to God, Coop, I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna freaking kill you, Coop.

Stop moving.

Stop moving.

You got a pass today.

Next time, I call your parole officer and you're going in.

Come on. Dance.

Dance. Forget about him.

Forget about him.

What's the deal with your back?

- It's an old injury. - Yeah?

No big deal.

You ever try acupuncture?

Ha, ha. I've tried everything.

Are you guys okay?

We're used to this. Our aunt's coming to pick us up.

You got your stuff?

Yeah.

Shut up and let me get my stuff so I can get out of here.

Oh, your boys are back.

Shh.

Mutual combat. I came back to get my stuff.

You ain't got stuff. They're both going in.

- What? Get up.

Six Adam 43, request transpo, our location.

Turn around. Hands behind your back.

Hands behind your back. Palms together. Palms together.

Well, you happy now? Yes.

I bet you are. - Next time you're going out on a stretcher.

By whom? See if you can walk out next time.

I'm the victim. Look at my face.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can be used against you in court.

You have the right to an attorney before and during any questioning.

You still didn't answer my question. Yeah? Which one?

You got a look on your face at the domestic.

Leads me to think Daddy beat up Mommy.

- It was worse than that. - Mm.

Nothing's worse than that. Believe me, I know.

- Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah.

My old man is the biggest asshole who ever lived.

What did yours do?

I already told you.

All right, all right. No.

You wanna know?

All right, I was 10.

My mom, she's a little, uh...

She's a little fragile.

My dad walks out on her.

And these drug dealers he represented, they broke into the house.

They beat the hell out of her. I mean, just...

I went to defend her and they knocked out my teeth.

And after that, I...

I had some trouble sleeping, so...

So I learned to shoot, all right? End of story.

Now will you get off my back?

My old man's a bigger asshole than that.

Is he dead?

No.

No, he's, uh...

He's around. In prison.

He raped and murdered someone.

You have a good night.

Thank you.

Look, um, I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this...

...because I'm afraid one of the doctors is gonna notice.

How much of that stuff are you taking?

You worried about me?

Yeah, John, I'm worried about you.

You're working nonstop. I know you're in pain.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

It's worse than when we were married.

I'll get it. Welcome, sir.

- Can I help you? Yeah, uh, Sherman party, please.

Right this way, sir.

Ben. Dude.

Dad heard you were coming, so he wanted to come say hello.

Ben. Hello.