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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:17,000 (Please select 2nd audio track to enjoy AC3 Dolby Digital 5.1) 2 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:25,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 3 00:00:54,059 --> 00:00:56,293 - Good morning, Chief Fromm. - Good morning. 4 00:00:56,295 --> 00:00:57,829 - Halik. - Yes, sir? 5 00:00:59,498 --> 00:01:02,934 I thought it over. I'm gonna recommend you for that promotion. 6 00:01:04,336 --> 00:01:07,505 Yes, sir. That's very good news, sir. 7 00:01:07,507 --> 00:01:10,508 Your record's unblemished. You deserve it, Halik. 8 00:01:10,510 --> 00:01:12,993 Yes, sir. Now if you excuse me, sir, 9 00:01:12,995 --> 00:01:15,662 I have to make my daily quota of citations, sir. 10 00:01:16,998 --> 00:01:18,766 Of course. 11 00:01:18,768 --> 00:01:21,451 - See you around, Halik. - Have a good day, sir. 12 00:01:24,539 --> 00:01:26,874 What a tight ass. 13 00:01:37,168 --> 00:01:39,604 - What did the Chief say? - Hmm. 14 00:01:39,606 --> 00:01:42,640 - I got my promotion. - Good. 15 00:01:44,943 --> 00:01:47,545 By the way, 16 00:01:47,547 --> 00:01:49,480 I got my period. 17 00:02:08,232 --> 00:02:10,034 ♪ Whoo! ♪ 18 00:02:13,238 --> 00:02:14,705 ♪ Whoo-hoo! ♪ 19 00:02:16,474 --> 00:02:19,043 - ♪ I feel good ♪ - ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪ 20 00:02:19,045 --> 00:02:20,995 - ♪ I feel good... ♪ - ( Playing Harmonica ) 21 00:02:22,297 --> 00:02:25,332 - Ah-hoo! - ♪ I feel good ♪ 22 00:02:25,334 --> 00:02:27,367 ♪ I feel, I feel ♪ 23 00:02:27,369 --> 00:02:30,120 ( Harmonica Playing Continues ) 24 00:02:30,122 --> 00:02:33,424 - ♪ I feel good ♪ - ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪ 25 00:02:33,426 --> 00:02:36,093 ♪ I feel, I feel good ♪ 26 00:02:36,095 --> 00:02:38,578 - ♪ I feel good ♪ - ♪ I feel good ♪ 27 00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:41,282 - ♪ Knew that I would ♪ - ♪ I knew that I would, now ♪ 28 00:02:41,284 --> 00:02:43,483 ♪ I feel good! ♪ 29 00:02:43,485 --> 00:02:46,220 - ♪ Like sugar and spice ♪ - ♪ I knew that I would ♪ 30 00:02:46,222 --> 00:02:48,371 - ♪ So good, so good ♪ - ♪ So good, so good ♪ 31 00:02:48,373 --> 00:02:50,540 - ♪ I have you ♪ - ♪ I have you ♪ 32 00:02:52,477 --> 00:02:54,795 ♪ I feel good ♪ 33 00:02:54,797 --> 00:02:57,364 - ♪ I feel, I feel ♪ - ( Playing Harmonica ) 34 00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:59,499 ♪ I feel good, ha-ha ♪ 35 00:02:59,501 --> 00:03:02,436 ♪ I feel nice ♪ 36 00:03:02,438 --> 00:03:04,538 - ♪ Sugar and spice ♪ - ♪ Like sugar and spice ♪ 37 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:09,827 ♪ I feel nice-- sugar and spice ♪ 38 00:03:09,829 --> 00:03:13,380 ♪ So good, so good, I got you ♪ 39 00:03:13,382 --> 00:03:14,982 ( Man Laughs ) 40 00:03:14,984 --> 00:03:18,819 ♪ I feel good ♪ 41 00:03:18,821 --> 00:03:20,654 ♪ I feel good, good ♪ 42 00:03:24,359 --> 00:03:26,527 ♪ When I hold you in my arms ♪ 43 00:03:26,529 --> 00:03:28,896 ♪ You know you can't do me no wrong ♪ 44 00:03:28,898 --> 00:03:32,032 ♪ When I hold you in my arms ♪ 45 00:03:32,034 --> 00:03:35,086 - ♪ Your love can't do me no harm ♪ - ( Screams ) 46 00:03:35,088 --> 00:03:38,489 ♪ So nice, sugar and spice ♪ 47 00:03:38,491 --> 00:03:41,542 ♪ I feel nice ♪ 48 00:03:41,544 --> 00:03:44,095 ♪ Like sugar and spice ♪ 49 00:03:44,097 --> 00:03:46,246 ♪ Feel good ♪ 50 00:03:47,315 --> 00:03:50,017 ♪ I feel good, good ♪ 51 00:03:50,019 --> 00:03:53,137 ♪ I feel so good, I feel, I feel ♪ 52 00:03:54,806 --> 00:03:57,441 - ♪ I feel good ♪ - ( Playing Harmonica ) 53 00:03:57,443 --> 00:03:59,243 ♪ Whoo! ♪ 54 00:03:59,245 --> 00:04:01,511 ♪ I feel so good. ♪ 55 00:04:01,513 --> 00:04:04,431 - ( Sirens Blaring ) - Oh, great. 56 00:04:13,575 --> 00:04:16,894 - Problem, officer? - You littered back there. 57 00:04:16,896 --> 00:04:18,545 - I did? - Mm-hmm. 58 00:04:18,547 --> 00:04:20,981 Oh, you mean that apple? I can explain that. 59 00:04:20,983 --> 00:04:23,483 I was driving along and hit this bump in the road. 60 00:04:23,485 --> 00:04:26,420 - The apple bounced out of my hand. - Never mind the song and dance. 61 00:04:26,422 --> 00:04:28,755 Your driver's license and registration, please. 62 00:04:28,757 --> 00:04:31,792 Now wait a minute, I hit this bump on the road, the apple bounced. 63 00:04:31,794 --> 00:04:34,244 It was right in my hand. It bounced right out the door. 64 00:04:34,246 --> 00:04:37,815 Your driver's license and registration, please. 65 00:04:37,817 --> 00:04:39,366 You got it. 66 00:04:43,972 --> 00:04:46,323 Let's see... here we go. 67 00:04:48,326 --> 00:04:51,145 - What is this? - Oh, 68 00:04:51,147 --> 00:04:53,513 that's my communist party membership card. 69 00:04:53,515 --> 00:04:56,016 I just joined for the softball league. 70 00:04:56,018 --> 00:04:58,285 Only team in the league with cheerleaders. 71 00:04:58,287 --> 00:05:00,854 Big fun. Here we go. 72 00:05:09,948 --> 00:05:11,448 - Is this you? - Oh, yeah. 73 00:05:11,450 --> 00:05:13,550 I photograph a whole lot better than I look. 74 00:05:13,552 --> 00:05:15,319 Hmm. 75 00:05:16,922 --> 00:05:18,856 Hmm. 76 00:05:20,425 --> 00:05:22,259 Wait a minute, you're really serious? 77 00:05:22,261 --> 00:05:24,895 - You're really gonna give me a ticket? - I certainly am. 78 00:05:24,897 --> 00:05:27,131 - For an apple. - From the looks of this vehicle, 79 00:05:27,133 --> 00:05:29,133 I'm gonna write you several tickets. 80 00:05:29,135 --> 00:05:31,135 Several tickets? 81 00:05:31,137 --> 00:05:33,137 Look, why don't we just make this easy? 82 00:05:33,139 --> 00:05:35,139 Why don't you just pistol-whip me, okay? 83 00:05:35,141 --> 00:05:37,808 If you don't keep your mouth shut, we're gonna deliver you 84 00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:39,960 - right down to the station-house. - Fine. 85 00:05:39,962 --> 00:05:41,261 Anything you say, sir. 86 00:05:42,513 --> 00:05:43,947 I'm not a sir, I'm a ma'am. 87 00:05:43,949 --> 00:05:45,916 Really? 88 00:05:45,918 --> 00:05:49,753 Well, one of you should wear a ponytail 'cause this could get really confusing. 89 00:05:55,894 --> 00:05:59,229 - ( Snorts ) - Come on, I don't go sniffing around your things, do I? 90 00:06:03,301 --> 00:06:05,635 - What is this powder? - Fertilizer. 91 00:06:05,637 --> 00:06:08,805 ( Retches, Spits ) 92 00:06:08,807 --> 00:06:11,008 - Shit! - Exactly. 93 00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:13,877 You're in big trouble now, mister. ( Retches ) 94 00:06:13,879 --> 00:06:15,812 Big trouble. 95 00:06:18,582 --> 00:06:21,268 Woman: Oh, I can't believe I'm taking up bowling. 96 00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:23,570 I've never done any kind of sport in my life. 97 00:06:23,572 --> 00:06:25,339 I'm sure you'll enjoy it, ma'am. 98 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,707 Here's my car. 99 00:06:27,709 --> 00:06:30,110 My doctor says I need exercise, 100 00:06:30,112 --> 00:06:33,080 but I'm sick. "I got a bad heart," I says to him. 101 00:06:33,082 --> 00:06:35,365 Let me get this trunk for you. 102 00:06:35,367 --> 00:06:37,168 ( Sighs ) Oh, I don't know 103 00:06:37,170 --> 00:06:39,303 how I'm gonna get these balls out of here. 104 00:06:39,305 --> 00:06:42,706 So anyways, he thinks I'm a hypochondriac. ( Laughs ) 105 00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:45,943 Yeah, how can I be a hypochondriac when I'm sick all the time? 106 00:06:47,212 --> 00:06:49,213 If I die while bowling, it's his fault. 107 00:06:49,215 --> 00:06:52,149 ( Coughing ) 108 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:58,488 Oh my god, I'm three minutes late for my pills! 109 00:07:01,142 --> 00:07:02,292 ( Honking ) 110 00:07:03,695 --> 00:07:06,864 - ( Screeching Tires ) - ( Screams ) 111 00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:09,800 Oh god! Am I dead? I'm dead! 112 00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:21,946 One cantaloupe... 113 00:07:24,249 --> 00:07:25,682 $97.00 114 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,858 Jamie, come sit on grandpa's lap. 115 00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,793 ( Groans ) 116 00:07:36,795 --> 00:07:39,296 I think I broke it. 117 00:07:39,298 --> 00:07:41,664 - This is all I need. - Yes, ma'am. 118 00:07:43,868 --> 00:07:46,269 ( Grunts ) 119 00:07:46,271 --> 00:07:50,273 Puppet #1: My fine friend, it certainly is a fine day, is it not? 120 00:07:50,275 --> 00:07:54,044 Puppet #2: A fine day in our fine kingdom. 121 00:07:54,046 --> 00:07:56,696 Puppet #1: Now it is finally time for you to die! 122 00:07:56,698 --> 00:07:59,750 - Aha-ha-ha! - Puppet #2 Voice: Oh, no. 123 00:07:59,752 --> 00:08:02,253 Well, try this on for size, Duke. 124 00:08:02,255 --> 00:08:04,938 En garde! 125 00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:08,958 Puppet #1: You are evil. You must be smitten. 126 00:08:10,161 --> 00:08:12,545 Die, you Norman Pig! 127 00:08:12,547 --> 00:08:14,782 ( Both Screaming ) 128 00:08:14,784 --> 00:08:17,234 Puppet #1: You Saxon Dog! 129 00:08:17,236 --> 00:08:19,669 - Puppet #2: Help! - Oh, no! 130 00:08:19,671 --> 00:08:22,656 - ( Groaning ) - Hey, hey. 131 00:08:22,658 --> 00:08:24,724 Hey, what the hell are you kids doing? 132 00:08:24,726 --> 00:08:27,527 - ( Kids Cheering ) - Man: Stop shaking this thing. 133 00:08:27,529 --> 00:08:28,996 What are you doing? ( Screams ) 134 00:08:28,998 --> 00:08:32,132 Hey, stop that! ( Screaming ) 135 00:08:38,890 --> 00:08:41,941 Help, somebody stop this thing! I can't stop this thing! 136 00:08:41,943 --> 00:08:44,645 Oh my god, oh my god! Help! 137 00:08:44,647 --> 00:08:47,447 - Oh my-- help! - ( Sirens Blaring ) 138 00:08:47,449 --> 00:08:49,783 Help! 139 00:08:52,287 --> 00:08:55,755 - Was that the number 12? - Naw, just a puppet stage. 140 00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:01,979 And Joey never hurt nobody. 141 00:09:01,981 --> 00:09:03,914 ( Woman Sobs Loudly ) 142 00:09:03,916 --> 00:09:06,550 - ( Sirens Blaring ) - Help! Somebody stop this thing! 143 00:09:06,552 --> 00:09:09,186 He was respected by his fellow man. 144 00:09:09,188 --> 00:09:10,971 Help! 145 00:09:14,325 --> 00:09:16,326 - Take it. - Here we go. 146 00:09:16,328 --> 00:09:17,727 Let's get outta here. 147 00:09:25,069 --> 00:09:26,669 PA: The white zone 148 00:09:26,671 --> 00:09:30,140 is for loading and unloading of passengers only. 149 00:09:30,142 --> 00:09:32,609 - No parking. - Where's the bag?! 150 00:09:32,611 --> 00:09:34,911 - Right here, ma'am. - That's good. 151 00:09:36,430 --> 00:09:40,783 PA: Flight 502 now loading at gate five. 152 00:09:40,785 --> 00:09:43,120 Oh, over there. Loretta. 153 00:09:43,122 --> 00:09:46,072 Yoo-hoo, Loretta! 154 00:09:46,074 --> 00:09:48,158 Yoo-hoo, Loretta. 155 00:09:50,211 --> 00:09:54,748 - Over here, dear. - Emma Jean, welcome home. 156 00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:57,984 Oh, you look wonderful. 157 00:09:57,986 --> 00:10:01,288 Love your tan! Yes! ( Chuckles ) 158 00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:04,041 Over here. He's a black guy. 159 00:10:04,043 --> 00:10:06,710 Oh! Why, of course. 160 00:10:06,712 --> 00:10:08,612 Of course. 161 00:10:08,614 --> 00:10:12,482 Well, just put the bags in the back seat, please. 162 00:10:12,484 --> 00:10:14,518 Oh, I'm so glad you're home, Emma. 163 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:18,688 - He's a black guy, you know? - I know, but I came to take you home. 164 00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,807 Emma: Let me drive. You're as blind as a bat. 165 00:10:20,809 --> 00:10:23,677 Just don't worry about it, okay? Just get in the car, honey. 166 00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:27,281 The white zone is for loading 167 00:10:27,283 --> 00:10:30,049 and unloading of passengers only. 168 00:10:30,051 --> 00:10:31,785 No parking. 169 00:10:31,787 --> 00:10:35,389 Flight 106 now departing at gate seven, 170 00:10:35,391 --> 00:10:38,292 immediate departure. 171 00:10:38,294 --> 00:10:40,977 Last call for flight 106, 172 00:10:40,979 --> 00:10:43,413 now leaving at gate seven. 173 00:10:43,415 --> 00:10:45,782 Oh, well, dear, I'm glad to see you too. 174 00:10:45,784 --> 00:10:48,552 Yes, thank you, dear. Oh, well, you've had your hair done. 175 00:10:48,554 --> 00:10:51,604 - You look lovely. - Loretta! 176 00:10:58,913 --> 00:11:00,847 Loretta! 177 00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:07,287 The white zone is for loading 178 00:11:07,289 --> 00:11:09,423 and unloading of passengers only. 179 00:11:09,425 --> 00:11:11,057 - No parking. - ( Engine Starts ) 180 00:11:11,059 --> 00:11:12,892 Loretta: My dear, are you ready? 181 00:11:12,894 --> 00:11:15,212 - Yeah. - We'll get you home in no time. 182 00:11:15,214 --> 00:11:18,215 - Oh, I bet you will. - ( Screeching Tires ) 183 00:11:18,217 --> 00:11:20,284 ( Indistinct Conversation ) 184 00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:24,821 ( Conversation Continues ) 185 00:11:33,231 --> 00:11:35,182 And remember Mr. Parkins? 186 00:11:35,184 --> 00:11:37,117 The man at the butcher's shop? 187 00:11:38,936 --> 00:11:41,871 He was cutting a slice of chuck steak or something, 188 00:11:41,873 --> 00:11:45,775 - and he cut part of his finger off. - Oh, that's awful. 189 00:11:45,777 --> 00:11:50,213 Loretta: Oh, and the girls came over last Tuesday for bridge. 190 00:11:50,215 --> 00:11:52,215 - I won 15 bucks! - Wow. 191 00:11:52,217 --> 00:11:54,584 ( Honking ) 192 00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:58,755 - Damn buses, always in the way! - ( Honks ) 193 00:11:58,757 --> 00:12:02,409 I hate driving in this airport-- too much traffic. 194 00:12:02,411 --> 00:12:05,712 - ( Emma Groaning ) - Here we go. Come on, buddy, 195 00:12:05,714 --> 00:12:09,266 - ( Continues Groaning ) - let's move it. 196 00:12:12,069 --> 00:12:14,738 ( Continues Groaning ) 197 00:12:15,806 --> 00:12:19,809 So that bingo game, I'm telling you! 198 00:12:19,811 --> 00:12:22,346 It was a wonder... 199 00:12:32,907 --> 00:12:35,909 ( Sirens Blaring ) 200 00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:38,144 Oh, shit! 201 00:12:40,481 --> 00:12:43,283 ( Police Radio Chatter ) 202 00:12:47,038 --> 00:12:50,340 - Hey, Ernie, how is it going? - Pretty good. 203 00:12:51,742 --> 00:12:53,676 Hank? 204 00:13:02,904 --> 00:13:06,023 Well, look who's here. 205 00:13:11,829 --> 00:13:13,997 Mr. Cannon. 206 00:13:13,999 --> 00:13:17,234 Wow, isn't this incredible? 207 00:13:17,236 --> 00:13:20,904 Some higher power must really want the three of us to be together. 208 00:13:20,906 --> 00:13:23,723 You got a car too. Why is that? 209 00:13:25,393 --> 00:13:28,128 Halik: You don't park any better than you drive, do you? 210 00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:33,699 - What are you talking about? - This car is parked in front of a hydrant. 211 00:13:33,701 --> 00:13:35,936 Well, I can see that. 212 00:13:35,938 --> 00:13:39,906 - Now I want you to move this car. - Why? 213 00:13:39,908 --> 00:13:42,943 Because you're breaking the law. 214 00:13:42,945 --> 00:13:45,077 No, I'm not. 215 00:13:46,164 --> 00:13:48,165 Deputy Morris, 216 00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:51,735 I think this car is loaded with violations, don't you? 217 00:13:52,804 --> 00:13:54,738 Yeah. 218 00:13:58,142 --> 00:14:00,376 Like this... 219 00:14:00,378 --> 00:14:02,312 broken taillight. 220 00:14:04,932 --> 00:14:08,468 Deputy Morris, what about that malfunctioning headlight? 221 00:14:13,974 --> 00:14:16,343 How do you like that? 222 00:14:16,345 --> 00:14:19,279 You guys are nutty. 223 00:14:20,614 --> 00:14:23,049 I've had it with you, punk. 224 00:14:34,645 --> 00:14:37,930 ( Thumping Continues ) 225 00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,360 Gee, I just don't understand it. 226 00:14:50,362 --> 00:14:52,796 I always loved you guys on "Chips." 227 00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:54,981 What do you think you're doing, Halik? 228 00:14:57,118 --> 00:14:59,952 On their behalf, sir, may I say that this car was evil? 229 00:14:59,954 --> 00:15:02,688 - Possessed of Satan, it had to be dest-- - Shut up! 230 00:15:04,091 --> 00:15:06,326 Well, sir, you see, 231 00:15:06,328 --> 00:15:08,328 I asked him to move his car-- 232 00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,330 It's not his car, Halik. 233 00:15:11,499 --> 00:15:14,767 - It's not? - ( Silent ) 234 00:15:14,769 --> 00:15:17,003 ( Shouts ) It's mine! 235 00:15:17,005 --> 00:15:19,572 Yours?! 236 00:15:19,574 --> 00:15:23,243 I'll see the both of you first thing in the morning 237 00:15:23,245 --> 00:15:25,178 in my office. 238 00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:32,085 Uh-oh. 239 00:15:32,087 --> 00:15:34,087 Sounds like trouble, kids. 240 00:15:34,089 --> 00:15:37,990 Don't worry. Don't let it get you down. Life goes on. 241 00:15:37,992 --> 00:15:40,560 You guys will bounce back, I can feel it. 242 00:15:40,562 --> 00:15:44,797 You're that kind of people. Listen, I'll be seeing you kids around. 243 00:15:44,799 --> 00:15:48,068 ( Plays Funeral Dirge ) 244 00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:50,653 Judge: Because you are all repeat offenders, 245 00:15:50,655 --> 00:15:54,357 having received many, many violations before, 246 00:15:54,359 --> 00:15:58,578 your licenses will be held here by the clerk in suspension, 247 00:15:58,580 --> 00:16:00,763 and your cars are to be kept 248 00:16:00,765 --> 00:16:02,899 in the county impound facility. 249 00:16:02,901 --> 00:16:05,669 - ( All Groan ) - ( Murmuring ) 250 00:16:07,471 --> 00:16:09,639 Your honor, are you saying 251 00:16:09,641 --> 00:16:12,442 you're taking away our licenses and keeping our cars? 252 00:16:12,444 --> 00:16:14,393 That's exactly what I'm saying. 253 00:16:14,395 --> 00:16:16,629 - Whoa! - Jesus. 254 00:16:16,631 --> 00:16:18,898 - Question, your viciousness. - Excuse me? 255 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,801 You're excused. Um, how do we get our cars back? 256 00:16:21,803 --> 00:16:25,388 That's very simple. You are all sentenced to traffic school. 257 00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:28,091 - ( All Groaning ) - After completing the course, 258 00:16:28,093 --> 00:16:30,694 which will meet five nights over a one-week period, 259 00:16:30,696 --> 00:16:33,496 you will receive a certificate of competency 260 00:16:33,498 --> 00:16:35,965 and your vehicles and licenses will be returned. 261 00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:39,802 I hit a casket with a puppet stage. What am I doing here? 262 00:16:39,804 --> 00:16:42,272 That I would like you to explain, your holiness. 263 00:16:42,274 --> 00:16:45,108 Quiet! 264 00:16:45,110 --> 00:16:47,176 If I may, I'd like to approach the bench? 265 00:16:47,178 --> 00:16:49,546 - Oh, you would, would you, mister--? - Cannon. 266 00:16:49,548 --> 00:16:51,748 But you can call me Butch. 267 00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:55,852 First, may I say that black is a terrific color for you, really? 268 00:16:55,854 --> 00:16:59,356 Also, may I cite the case of Abbot versus Costello? 269 00:16:59,358 --> 00:17:02,125 - The United States versus-- - Shut up, Mr. Cannon. 270 00:17:03,327 --> 00:17:05,762 Now, for all of you, 271 00:17:05,764 --> 00:17:07,764 this traffic school is your last chance 272 00:17:07,766 --> 00:17:09,900 to retain your driving privileges. 273 00:17:09,902 --> 00:17:13,136 Your license will be revoked. If you cannot drive after 30 days, 274 00:17:13,138 --> 00:17:15,906 all vehicles held in the county impound yard 275 00:17:15,908 --> 00:17:18,441 will be subject to sale at auction 276 00:17:18,443 --> 00:17:21,644 with all proceeds from said sale 277 00:17:21,646 --> 00:17:23,646 going to the county. 278 00:17:23,648 --> 00:17:27,918 - Court dismissed. - ( Crowd Grumbling ) 279 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:31,154 Emma: I couldn't hear a thing. What happened? 280 00:17:31,156 --> 00:17:33,589 I can't believe they're gonna sell our cars. 281 00:17:33,591 --> 00:17:36,826 - How can they do this? - When you've got balls, anything is possible. 282 00:17:36,828 --> 00:17:38,962 You were very good in there-- 283 00:17:38,964 --> 00:17:41,697 "Abbot versus Costello." 284 00:17:41,699 --> 00:17:45,001 You obviously have some formal legal training. 285 00:17:45,003 --> 00:17:47,670 Yeah, well, I've been arrested in several states, 286 00:17:47,672 --> 00:17:50,706 so I guess I know what I'm talking about. 287 00:17:50,708 --> 00:17:54,226 - I'm Dana Cannon. - Amy Hopkins. 288 00:17:54,228 --> 00:17:56,963 Well, I'll see you in class. 289 00:17:58,331 --> 00:18:00,767 Whoa, is she sexy! 290 00:18:00,769 --> 00:18:02,569 Yeah, but what are looks? 291 00:18:02,571 --> 00:18:05,438 - I mean, she's no rocket scientist. - I forgot my glasses. 292 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,406 No, no, you got 'em on. 293 00:18:07,408 --> 00:18:09,943 Oh. ( Chuckles ) 294 00:18:09,945 --> 00:18:11,945 Oh my god. 295 00:18:11,947 --> 00:18:13,379 Thanks. 296 00:18:13,381 --> 00:18:15,448 - Well, bye again. - Um, listen, 297 00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:17,450 I'm gonna be taking a cab to the class, 298 00:18:17,452 --> 00:18:20,587 so maybe I could pick you up or something? 299 00:18:20,589 --> 00:18:24,123 Oh no, that's all right. I'll get somebody from work to drop me off. 300 00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:26,492 - Oh, where do you work? - NASA. 301 00:18:26,494 --> 00:18:28,127 I'm a rocket scientist. 302 00:18:29,196 --> 00:18:31,030 Bye. 303 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:37,486 ( Sirens Blaring ) 304 00:19:13,274 --> 00:19:15,275 Hi. 305 00:19:15,277 --> 00:19:17,210 Hi. 306 00:19:19,013 --> 00:19:21,848 Did you see "Friday the 13th"? 307 00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:24,450 No. No, I didn't. 308 00:19:25,752 --> 00:19:27,653 What about the 13th 2, 3 or 4? 309 00:19:27,655 --> 00:19:31,040 - What about 5? - Missed them all. 310 00:19:31,042 --> 00:19:33,376 ( Chuckles ) 311 00:19:33,378 --> 00:19:35,378 It's too bad. 312 00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:37,681 They were great. 313 00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:40,316 A lot of bloody gory stuff. 314 00:19:40,318 --> 00:19:42,702 Hey, uh, did you like it more when-- 315 00:19:42,704 --> 00:19:46,405 when Clint Eastwood got stuck holding the severed arm in "Tightrope" 316 00:19:46,407 --> 00:19:49,258 or when they cut those guys' arms off in "Scarface"? 317 00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:52,729 Hmm, well, let's see... 318 00:19:52,731 --> 00:19:55,098 Oh, there's my bus, gotta go. 319 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:57,016 Nice talking to you. 320 00:19:59,353 --> 00:20:01,354 ( Taps Pen on Desk ) 321 00:20:01,356 --> 00:20:03,857 ( Chatting ) 322 00:20:05,459 --> 00:20:08,962 All right, people, settle down. Quiet. Find your seats, please. 323 00:20:08,964 --> 00:20:11,264 Thank you. Cut the chatter. 324 00:20:11,266 --> 00:20:13,233 You too, Red. 325 00:20:13,235 --> 00:20:15,235 Sit down. 326 00:20:15,237 --> 00:20:18,838 I've got all your albums, man. You're the greatest. Good to have you on board. 327 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,641 Hi, how are you? Good. Find your seats, please. 328 00:20:22,643 --> 00:20:24,944 Come on. Okay. 329 00:20:24,946 --> 00:20:27,947 I'll be your instructor for this evening. Please rise. 330 00:20:27,949 --> 00:20:30,499 Come on-- up, up, up, up, everybody. 331 00:20:30,501 --> 00:20:33,119 Come on, come on, don't be afraid. 332 00:20:33,121 --> 00:20:36,322 This is gonna be fun. You in the back, 333 00:20:36,324 --> 00:20:38,358 what, do you want a special invitation? 334 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:42,828 - You talking to me? - Yes, you too. Uppity-up-up-up. 335 00:20:42,830 --> 00:20:45,298 Relax. Enjoy. Thank you. 336 00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:47,367 This is gonna be fun. You're gonna like this! 337 00:20:47,369 --> 00:20:49,369 Come on! All right, everybody ready? 338 00:20:52,639 --> 00:20:55,975 And-- breathe in. 339 00:20:55,977 --> 00:20:58,611 - Blow out. Breathe in. - ( Door Opens ) 340 00:20:58,613 --> 00:21:01,281 ( Inhales ) Blow out. 341 00:21:01,283 --> 00:21:02,949 ( Exhales ) Very good. Shake it out. 342 00:21:02,951 --> 00:21:04,717 Settle down, shake it out, sit down. 343 00:21:04,719 --> 00:21:06,920 Thank you, thank you. 344 00:21:06,922 --> 00:21:10,290 Now if all the ladies would be so kind as to take off all their clothes, 345 00:21:10,292 --> 00:21:13,192 - we could get this class underway. - Sit down, Mr. Cannon. 346 00:21:13,194 --> 00:21:15,394 Could it be? 347 00:21:15,396 --> 00:21:17,363 Oh, no. 348 00:21:17,365 --> 00:21:20,099 It is! Reunited at last! 349 00:21:20,101 --> 00:21:23,436 ♪ 'Cause it feels so good. ♪ 350 00:21:23,438 --> 00:21:26,122 ( Murmuring ) 351 00:21:26,124 --> 00:21:29,625 - Sit down. - Aren't you guys like, in the wrong room? 352 00:21:29,627 --> 00:21:32,461 Shouldn't you be next door at the pro acid rain rally? 353 00:21:32,463 --> 00:21:37,466 Mr. Cannon, we're your traffic school instructors. 354 00:21:37,468 --> 00:21:41,003 - Is this an interesting surprise or what? - Sit down, 355 00:21:41,005 --> 00:21:44,207 before I mold your face into an ashtray. 356 00:21:48,162 --> 00:21:51,297 See? All you had to do was ask nicely. 357 00:21:51,299 --> 00:21:54,750 This will not be tolerated in this classroom. 358 00:21:56,786 --> 00:21:59,856 I demand strict discipline. 359 00:21:59,858 --> 00:22:02,709 I just love it when he gets angry like this, 360 00:22:02,711 --> 00:22:05,612 don't you? I thought so. 361 00:22:07,147 --> 00:22:08,732 What are these? 362 00:22:08,734 --> 00:22:10,432 I'm a single parent. 363 00:22:10,434 --> 00:22:12,434 By day, they're in school; 364 00:22:12,436 --> 00:22:15,671 At night, there's no one to take care of them. 365 00:22:15,673 --> 00:22:18,274 All right, just keep them quiet. 366 00:22:18,276 --> 00:22:21,043 Now then, we will study the following in here-- 367 00:22:23,146 --> 00:22:25,081 Traffic... 368 00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:28,184 Laws. 369 00:22:31,021 --> 00:22:33,222 You will know them letter perfect. 370 00:22:33,224 --> 00:22:35,124 You will be tested daily on them. 371 00:22:35,126 --> 00:22:38,210 You will know everything there is to know about a car-- 372 00:22:38,212 --> 00:22:40,179 inside and out. 373 00:22:40,181 --> 00:22:42,481 You will know the rules of the road... 374 00:22:43,617 --> 00:22:46,019 Driver courtesy-- 375 00:22:46,021 --> 00:22:48,421 Will there be any like, handy cooking tips, 376 00:22:48,423 --> 00:22:50,923 like, what to do with those darn holiday leftovers? 377 00:22:52,726 --> 00:22:54,727 Hank, Hank. 378 00:22:54,729 --> 00:22:56,629 No. 379 00:22:56,631 --> 00:22:58,964 Open your driving manuals to page one. 380 00:22:58,966 --> 00:23:03,236 What is the maximum legal speed limit in this state? 381 00:23:07,174 --> 00:23:09,175 This is a 15-minute break. 382 00:23:09,177 --> 00:23:13,279 Hey, man, I thought this class was supposed to be easy. 383 00:23:13,281 --> 00:23:15,981 Well, it was, before Adolph and Eva took over. 384 00:23:15,983 --> 00:23:18,284 This is a 15-minute break, 385 00:23:18,286 --> 00:23:20,753 - not one second more. - Yes, sir. 386 00:23:22,723 --> 00:23:26,492 I'll tell ya, that sounds like it could be your transmission or your fuel pump, 387 00:23:26,494 --> 00:23:29,962 but we do a complete diagnostic checkup of your car. 388 00:23:29,964 --> 00:23:31,564 - "The Clinic." - Yes. 389 00:23:31,566 --> 00:23:33,600 - I'll bring my Limo over. - Ask for me. 390 00:23:33,602 --> 00:23:37,069 Everyone calls me Doc. Stop by The Clinic anytime. 391 00:23:37,071 --> 00:23:39,439 Excuse me, you have a clinic? 392 00:23:39,441 --> 00:23:41,441 Not just a clinic, The Clinic. 393 00:23:41,443 --> 00:23:43,809 We do the finest diagnostic checkups in town. 394 00:23:43,811 --> 00:23:46,646 - Doc Williams at your service. - I would love 395 00:23:46,648 --> 00:23:49,215 - to talk to you about this problem I'm having. - Hmm. 396 00:23:49,217 --> 00:23:51,951 That's what I'm here for. What seems to be the problem? 397 00:23:51,953 --> 00:23:55,722 No matter what I do, I just can't get going in the morning. 398 00:23:55,724 --> 00:23:58,324 - That could be your valves. - Really? 399 00:23:58,326 --> 00:24:01,728 - Have you had your pump checked lately? - By a specialist. 400 00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:03,730 I should probably take another look at it 401 00:24:03,732 --> 00:24:06,098 because when that goes, you die right on the spot. 402 00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:08,067 - Oh god, I know. - Hmm. 403 00:24:08,069 --> 00:24:11,036 Do you ever overheat and stall going up steep hills? 404 00:24:11,038 --> 00:24:13,072 I don't believe so. 405 00:24:13,074 --> 00:24:15,341 You should probably have a major overhaul, 406 00:24:15,343 --> 00:24:17,744 check everything inside and out. 407 00:24:17,746 --> 00:24:20,280 - Do you leak much? - Several times a day. 408 00:24:20,282 --> 00:24:22,148 Hmm, that's no good, is it? 409 00:24:22,150 --> 00:24:25,050 Every place you go, you leave those unsightly puddles. 410 00:24:25,052 --> 00:24:29,054 Gets so your neighbors cringe when they see you pulling up their driveway. 411 00:24:29,056 --> 00:24:32,325 - What about your rear end? - What about it? 412 00:24:32,327 --> 00:24:34,860 - Does your rear end make noise? - ( Groans ) 413 00:24:34,862 --> 00:24:36,862 That's a bit personal, isn't it? 414 00:24:36,864 --> 00:24:38,964 I'll tell you what, I am up to here in my work 415 00:24:38,966 --> 00:24:42,302 but what I will do-- I'll lube it up. 416 00:24:42,304 --> 00:24:44,270 I'll get inside there and root around 417 00:24:44,272 --> 00:24:46,205 and find out what the problem is. 418 00:24:46,207 --> 00:24:49,108 I have the best tool in town. Trust me, I'll do a thorough job. 419 00:24:49,110 --> 00:24:51,477 - Mm-hmm. - Meanwhile, here's what I'd like you to do-- 420 00:24:51,479 --> 00:24:53,680 about an hour before you get going in the morning, 421 00:24:53,682 --> 00:24:56,449 drain out your water, flush it out of there completely, 422 00:24:56,451 --> 00:24:59,519 take in a lot of oil, then grease up that back end, 423 00:24:59,521 --> 00:25:03,255 get out on the highway and go as fast as you can for 9 or 10 miles. 424 00:25:03,257 --> 00:25:05,257 - Really? - Yes. 425 00:25:05,259 --> 00:25:07,327 No-- no one has ever said this to me before. 426 00:25:07,329 --> 00:25:09,662 As I say, I am a professional. 427 00:25:09,664 --> 00:25:12,097 I can lick any rear end problem you can bring me. 428 00:25:12,099 --> 00:25:14,801 In fact, I do a lot of celebrities too. 429 00:25:14,803 --> 00:25:17,537 Just last week, I reamed out Roger Moore. 430 00:25:17,539 --> 00:25:20,005 He was totally satisfied. As a matter of fact, 431 00:25:20,007 --> 00:25:23,042 he's coming back next weekend for a complete rear end job. 432 00:25:23,044 --> 00:25:24,544 Oh. 433 00:25:24,546 --> 00:25:26,479 Break's over. 434 00:25:27,548 --> 00:25:29,982 Come on, let's move it, people. 435 00:25:29,984 --> 00:25:32,151 Tonight. 436 00:25:32,153 --> 00:25:34,186 You wanna pass those tests, 437 00:25:34,188 --> 00:25:36,322 get in there and do some work. Let's go. 438 00:25:42,463 --> 00:25:45,030 Why don't we go someplace and talk? 439 00:25:45,032 --> 00:25:47,032 Um, yeah, I've been thinking about it. 440 00:25:47,034 --> 00:25:49,736 - It's probably a good idea. - Yeah. 441 00:25:52,072 --> 00:25:54,006 ( Clears Throat ) 442 00:25:57,444 --> 00:26:00,446 Hey, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot, 443 00:26:00,448 --> 00:26:02,448 and I'm sorry. 444 00:26:02,450 --> 00:26:05,084 Why don't we shake hands and we'll wipe the slate clean? 445 00:26:07,220 --> 00:26:09,355 Now, look, mister-- 446 00:26:09,357 --> 00:26:11,724 I'll be straight with you. 447 00:26:11,726 --> 00:26:15,361 I hate your ass. 448 00:26:15,363 --> 00:26:18,598 - Oh, come on, this has gone too far. - Shut up. 449 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,667 I'm teaching this shithead class because you got me demoted. 450 00:26:21,669 --> 00:26:24,604 That's right, you screwed up my promotion-- 451 00:26:24,606 --> 00:26:26,305 My career. 452 00:26:27,608 --> 00:26:30,142 And now I'm gonna screw things up for you. 453 00:26:31,545 --> 00:26:35,047 - Sounds fair. - You just watch yourself. 454 00:26:36,283 --> 00:26:38,818 - ( Cracks ) - I'll crush you. 455 00:26:43,857 --> 00:26:45,858 Okay, but just as long 456 00:26:45,860 --> 00:26:47,827 as we can still be friends, okay? 457 00:26:52,666 --> 00:26:54,600 ( Sighs ) 458 00:26:58,539 --> 00:27:02,692 - Mrs. Houk? - What's a man doing in the ladies' room? 459 00:27:02,694 --> 00:27:05,645 - This is the men's room. - Oh. 460 00:27:07,748 --> 00:27:09,882 Why is my back all wet? 461 00:27:11,151 --> 00:27:13,368 Before you go home tonight, 462 00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:17,206 we're going to take a look at a little film on traffic safety entitled 463 00:27:17,208 --> 00:27:19,942 "Blood Flows Red on the Highway." 464 00:27:19,944 --> 00:27:23,062 - All right! - Halik: Deputy Morris. 465 00:27:23,064 --> 00:27:25,331 ( Kids Playing ) 466 00:27:27,167 --> 00:27:31,403 Narrator: Every day millions of kids happily go to school. 467 00:27:31,405 --> 00:27:35,274 They look forward to another day of learning with their friends. 468 00:27:35,276 --> 00:27:38,394 Unfortunately, some of these kids 469 00:27:38,396 --> 00:27:41,630 will never make it to their classrooms. 470 00:27:41,632 --> 00:27:45,400 A thoughtless motorist who stopped for a couple of quick drinks 471 00:27:45,402 --> 00:27:49,288 for the road will cause a senseless tragedy. 472 00:27:49,290 --> 00:27:52,291 A tragedy that could have been avoided 473 00:27:52,293 --> 00:27:54,994 had he used some common sense. 474 00:27:54,996 --> 00:27:57,530 But it's too late for that now. 475 00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:02,284 ( Thumps ) 476 00:28:02,286 --> 00:28:05,487 - ( Laughing ) - Traffic fatalities are increasing 477 00:28:05,489 --> 00:28:08,023 - everywhere. - ( Audience Gagging ) 478 00:28:08,025 --> 00:28:09,125 And that's why 479 00:28:09,127 --> 00:28:12,678 blood flows red on the highway. 480 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,214 Here we see another accident. 481 00:28:15,216 --> 00:28:17,583 Two trucks collide with a Toyota. 482 00:28:17,585 --> 00:28:19,485 Their passengers thrown from the car-- 483 00:28:19,487 --> 00:28:21,921 My dad's coming back on Saturday, 484 00:28:21,923 --> 00:28:24,557 - and I gotta pick him up in his car. - So what? 485 00:28:24,559 --> 00:28:26,959 "So what?" I don't have it. It's impounded. 486 00:28:26,961 --> 00:28:28,961 A brand new Mercedes. 487 00:28:28,963 --> 00:28:32,131 My dad's gonna kill me. He's gonna open everything that's closed 488 00:28:32,133 --> 00:28:35,267 - and close everything that's open. - Don't worry so much. 489 00:28:35,269 --> 00:28:37,703 Listen, we'll go down to the video store 490 00:28:37,705 --> 00:28:39,972 and we'll rent "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." 491 00:28:39,974 --> 00:28:42,542 That will relax you. Come on. 492 00:28:47,681 --> 00:28:49,482 Hi. 493 00:28:49,484 --> 00:28:50,749 Hi. 494 00:28:52,486 --> 00:28:54,554 - ( Sneezes ) - Oh, uh-- 495 00:28:54,556 --> 00:28:57,190 - ( Woman Laughs) - Bless you. 496 00:29:00,410 --> 00:29:03,312 Oh, sorry. Uh-- 497 00:29:04,380 --> 00:29:06,381 This is Jo-Jo. 498 00:29:06,383 --> 00:29:08,350 I'm a puppeteer. 499 00:29:08,352 --> 00:29:11,753 Oh, I have to go. That's my sister. 500 00:29:11,755 --> 00:29:13,689 She's a sister. 501 00:29:20,396 --> 00:29:23,299 - Oh, there's my bus. I gotta go. - Nonsense. 502 00:29:23,301 --> 00:29:26,468 Tonight we're traveling in style. Taxi! 503 00:29:26,470 --> 00:29:29,205 - ( Whistles ) - You heard her. 504 00:29:29,207 --> 00:29:31,257 - Amy: Taxi! - Cannon: Taxi right here. 505 00:29:31,259 --> 00:29:33,892 Ho, yeah. Step to the rear, please. Thank you. 506 00:29:33,894 --> 00:29:35,961 - Amy: Thank you. - Cannon: Driver, take us 507 00:29:35,963 --> 00:29:39,131 to the nearest nuclear power plant. My pants are full of uranium. 508 00:29:39,133 --> 00:29:41,267 - ( Cannon and Amy Laugh ) - Amy: Not bad. 509 00:29:41,269 --> 00:29:43,569 After I got my doctorate in physics, 510 00:29:43,571 --> 00:29:48,173 I worked as a strolling violinist in a Hungarian restaurant for a while. 511 00:29:48,175 --> 00:29:50,175 - Cannon: Oh, come on. - No, I really did. 512 00:29:50,177 --> 00:29:53,946 There's a lot of people with advanced degrees that can't get jobs in their field. 513 00:29:53,948 --> 00:29:56,682 - Cannon: Well, at least you found your field. - Mm-hmm. 514 00:29:56,684 --> 00:29:58,718 Cannon: Myself, I went to five colleges, 515 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,953 changed majors seven times, 516 00:30:00,955 --> 00:30:03,589 and I had about 10 jobs since I dropped out of school. 517 00:30:03,591 --> 00:30:05,758 That's quite a success story. 518 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:07,627 ( Laughing ) 519 00:30:14,717 --> 00:30:18,420 - ( Keys Jangling ) - Well, I have to be at the lab early tomorrow, 520 00:30:18,422 --> 00:30:20,422 so I-- 521 00:30:20,424 --> 00:30:23,425 - Oh, I forgot where I put my keys. - ( Jangling Continues ) 522 00:30:26,997 --> 00:30:30,399 - Spaced out again? - ( Laughs ) 523 00:30:30,401 --> 00:30:33,202 - Guess so. - Maybe. 524 00:30:40,494 --> 00:30:42,495 Well, 525 00:30:42,497 --> 00:30:44,697 I guess I'd better make the first move. 526 00:30:56,726 --> 00:30:59,261 Now didn't that ease the tension? 527 00:31:21,718 --> 00:31:25,153 I'm a forest ranger. I'm just taking some work home for the weekend. 528 00:31:30,677 --> 00:31:33,579 Hello. Just one second here. 529 00:31:33,581 --> 00:31:36,849 Just a few more things. 530 00:31:36,851 --> 00:31:38,717 Okay, now we're on our way. 531 00:31:38,719 --> 00:31:41,654 Excuse me, I've been doing a little early Christmas shopping. 532 00:31:41,656 --> 00:31:44,823 Okay, people, listen up. I'm declaring this bus a national forest. 533 00:31:44,825 --> 00:31:47,660 Please act accordingly. Plants coming through. Look out-- 534 00:31:47,662 --> 00:31:49,812 - Hey, hands off the ficus, lady! - ( Woman Groans ) 535 00:31:49,814 --> 00:31:53,248 Don't grab the branches. It could be a bird's home someday. 536 00:31:53,250 --> 00:31:56,819 Hey, it's not an ashtray. Plants are people too! 537 00:32:03,493 --> 00:32:06,278 Dana, I needed that shipment from you. 538 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,147 Well, some geeks took my driver's license away. 539 00:32:09,149 --> 00:32:11,149 That's not my problem. 540 00:32:11,151 --> 00:32:14,753 Either you bring that shipment by Friday or you can forget the whole account. 541 00:32:14,755 --> 00:32:16,789 Well put. Right to the point. 542 00:32:16,791 --> 00:32:20,292 And believe you me, by this time next week, we'll be laughing about this. 543 00:32:20,294 --> 00:32:21,927 Ha ha ha. Great. 544 00:32:21,929 --> 00:32:24,863 ( Toilet Flushing ) 545 00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:36,692 Doc Williams Voice: First thing in the morning, flush out all the water. 546 00:32:36,694 --> 00:32:39,695 Okay, I did that. 547 00:32:39,697 --> 00:32:43,332 Then you wanna fill up with oil at least two quarts. 548 00:32:50,773 --> 00:32:53,041 Ugh. 549 00:32:53,043 --> 00:32:55,110 Well... 550 00:32:55,112 --> 00:32:57,112 Here goes. 551 00:33:06,973 --> 00:33:09,958 ( Groans ) 552 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,395 Next, you wanna grease up your rear end. 553 00:33:12,397 --> 00:33:16,098 Really get a lot up there. Smear it all around. 554 00:33:22,305 --> 00:33:25,474 Well, if it works, 555 00:33:25,476 --> 00:33:27,410 it will be worth it. 556 00:33:31,782 --> 00:33:33,532 ( Honks ) 557 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,256 ( Honks ) 558 00:33:43,225 --> 00:33:47,195 Get out on the highway and go at full speed for about 10 miles. 559 00:33:47,197 --> 00:33:49,965 - See how it feels. - Like shit. 560 00:33:51,534 --> 00:33:55,737 - ( Sirens Blares ) - Judge: Officer Halik, come in. 561 00:33:55,739 --> 00:33:59,775 - Sit down. - You wanted to see me, your honor? 562 00:33:59,777 --> 00:34:01,777 Yes, Halik. 563 00:34:01,779 --> 00:34:04,680 I have a proposition for you. 564 00:34:04,682 --> 00:34:07,282 Proposition? 565 00:34:07,284 --> 00:34:10,418 Halik, you've been screwed. 566 00:34:11,688 --> 00:34:13,823 - I have? - Hank, 567 00:34:13,825 --> 00:34:16,859 how would you like to be a winner in this traffic school thing? 568 00:34:16,861 --> 00:34:19,361 Have the last laugh on those fools that sent you down? 569 00:34:21,264 --> 00:34:24,933 - How could I do that? - Make the class tough, impossible. 570 00:34:24,935 --> 00:34:26,969 Fail everyone. 571 00:34:26,971 --> 00:34:30,238 I'll order their cars sold. We'll give half the money to the county. 572 00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:33,709 - The rest you split with me. - But what if we get caught? 573 00:34:33,711 --> 00:34:36,228 ( Chuckles ) Hank, since this law went into effect, 574 00:34:36,230 --> 00:34:38,230 I control the records of all vehicles 575 00:34:38,232 --> 00:34:40,766 ordered sold by the county. 576 00:34:40,768 --> 00:34:42,801 Take a look for yourself. 577 00:34:46,973 --> 00:34:50,376 The last instructor retired a very wealthy man. 578 00:34:53,396 --> 00:34:55,498 What do you say... 579 00:34:56,298 --> 00:34:58,333 Hank? 580 00:34:59,636 --> 00:35:02,320 ( Rock Music Playing ) 581 00:35:19,122 --> 00:35:21,123 ( Silent ) 582 00:35:21,125 --> 00:35:24,693 ♪ There's a feeling that I sometimes get ♪ 583 00:35:27,163 --> 00:35:30,482 ♪ Ooh, it's not unusual ♪ 584 00:35:32,285 --> 00:35:35,888 ♪ For me to swing 'cause I can't see it ♪ 585 00:35:37,874 --> 00:35:40,976 ♪ I go sneaking down the hallway ♪ 586 00:35:40,978 --> 00:35:43,762 ♪ Highway recognize ♪ 587 00:35:43,764 --> 00:35:46,281 ♪ Taken by a brain wave ♪ 588 00:35:46,283 --> 00:35:50,302 ♪ And I can't control my drive ♪ 589 00:35:50,304 --> 00:35:53,439 ♪ Sometimes I break through the wall ♪ 590 00:35:53,441 --> 00:35:58,109 ♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation when I move ♪ 591 00:36:00,413 --> 00:36:04,650 ♪ A moving violation when I move, watch me ♪ 592 00:36:05,952 --> 00:36:09,354 ♪ Losing all my patience when I do ♪ 593 00:36:09,356 --> 00:36:11,890 ♪ Watch me 594 00:36:11,892 --> 00:36:15,276 - ♪ Moving violation- lation-lation-lation. ♪ - Cannon: Good party, huh? 595 00:36:15,278 --> 00:36:18,814 You should see it in Iran-- talk about your tough traffic laws-- 596 00:36:18,816 --> 00:36:22,150 Over there, you get a moving violation, they take away your license 597 00:36:22,152 --> 00:36:25,921 and your hand. Chop it right off at the wrist. 598 00:36:25,923 --> 00:36:29,457 Wow. I gotta get over there to see that. 599 00:36:31,894 --> 00:36:34,129 Hank... 600 00:36:34,131 --> 00:36:37,699 You are in complete 601 00:36:37,701 --> 00:36:40,168 and total control 602 00:36:40,170 --> 00:36:42,570 of this class. 603 00:36:42,572 --> 00:36:44,806 So forceful. 604 00:36:44,808 --> 00:36:48,276 ( Sighs ) I'm not wearing any underwear. 605 00:36:53,933 --> 00:36:56,818 Leave the car in gear 606 00:36:56,820 --> 00:36:58,820 with the emergency brake on, 607 00:36:58,822 --> 00:37:03,158 and you walk to the rear of the car with your flare, 608 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,061 breaking off the upper portion, 609 00:37:06,063 --> 00:37:08,430 and throwing it in the back. 610 00:37:08,432 --> 00:37:11,300 Then, you ignite your flare. 611 00:37:12,635 --> 00:37:17,605 Placing it within six feet of the vehicle. 612 00:37:17,607 --> 00:37:20,875 Now, we'll let one of you try it. 613 00:37:20,877 --> 00:37:23,478 ( Sizzles Out ) 614 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,731 Mrs. Houk. 615 00:37:31,404 --> 00:37:32,971 Hmm. 616 00:37:39,813 --> 00:37:42,380 Morris: No, Mrs. Houk, it's the other one. 617 00:37:42,382 --> 00:37:45,017 No, don't throw it in the trunk. Oh my god! 618 00:37:45,019 --> 00:37:47,720 ( Screams ) 619 00:37:47,722 --> 00:37:52,207 - Did I do something wrong? - Not from where I stand. 620 00:37:54,694 --> 00:37:56,729 Stand back while I open the hood. 621 00:37:58,497 --> 00:38:01,166 It's a big 460 with a Harley four-barrel. 622 00:38:01,168 --> 00:38:03,235 - Right. Sure. - Halik: Now remember, 623 00:38:03,237 --> 00:38:06,071 if you're going to abandon your car by the side of the road, 624 00:38:06,073 --> 00:38:08,240 just lock it up and leave it where it stalls. 625 00:38:08,242 --> 00:38:11,509 Never-- I repeat, never try to push it to the side of the road. 626 00:38:11,511 --> 00:38:13,545 I'll show you why. I need a volunteer. 627 00:38:13,547 --> 00:38:16,514 Mr. Barnes, try pushing this car to the side of the road. 628 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,295 Halik: As you can see, by pushing the car, 629 00:38:30,297 --> 00:38:32,931 you are in danger of getting hit by uh-- 630 00:38:32,933 --> 00:38:34,933 Hank, I need you. There's a fire. 631 00:38:34,935 --> 00:38:36,468 - Fire? - Fire. 632 00:38:36,470 --> 00:38:38,770 - Fire! - Fire! 633 00:38:42,392 --> 00:38:44,025 ( Chuckles ) 634 00:38:45,327 --> 00:38:47,762 - Barnes: All right, here we go. Here we-- - ( Thumps ) 635 00:38:50,366 --> 00:38:52,667 Come on! Watch this. All right, all right. 636 00:38:52,669 --> 00:38:55,970 - ( Thumps ) - ( Exhales ) 637 00:38:55,972 --> 00:38:59,607 Who put on the brake? Get out of here. 638 00:38:59,609 --> 00:39:02,143 I'll kill ya! ( Coughs ) 639 00:39:02,145 --> 00:39:05,146 ( Thumping ) 640 00:39:05,148 --> 00:39:07,449 I got you, I got you. 641 00:39:09,218 --> 00:39:11,570 Come on. ( Groans ) 642 00:39:11,572 --> 00:39:13,405 ( Laughs ) 643 00:39:17,510 --> 00:39:19,844 Here comes the Terminator. 644 00:39:19,846 --> 00:39:21,880 ( Screams ) 645 00:39:23,966 --> 00:39:27,168 Thank you. Have a nice night. 646 00:39:31,524 --> 00:39:34,493 - ( Thumps ) - Good evening. Can I help you? 647 00:39:35,595 --> 00:39:37,612 Good evening. Can I help you? 648 00:39:37,614 --> 00:39:40,315 - ( Crashing ) - Can I help you? 649 00:39:40,317 --> 00:39:44,336 Good evening. Can I help you? 650 00:39:49,992 --> 00:39:52,360 - Hi. - Hi. 651 00:39:54,797 --> 00:39:56,765 Uh-- 652 00:39:58,033 --> 00:40:00,469 Are you doing anything later? 653 00:40:00,471 --> 00:40:03,237 - Yeah, I'm going out. - Oh. 654 00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,073 But you could come with me. 655 00:40:05,075 --> 00:40:07,175 How about we meet at The Band Box? 656 00:40:07,177 --> 00:40:09,377 - On Tower? How about 10:00? - Sure. 657 00:40:09,379 --> 00:40:10,812 - Okay. - Okay. 658 00:40:10,814 --> 00:40:12,881 Great, okay. 659 00:40:12,883 --> 00:40:14,516 - I'll see you later. - Right. 660 00:40:14,518 --> 00:40:16,451 Bye-bye. 661 00:40:17,687 --> 00:40:19,654 Scott, you devil. 662 00:40:19,656 --> 00:40:23,358 - She's crazy about you. - Really? 663 00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,994 No. I got my doubts. 664 00:40:25,996 --> 00:40:28,497 What are you talking about? Don't put yourself down. 665 00:40:28,499 --> 00:40:31,399 You're a great guy. Go get her. 666 00:40:31,401 --> 00:40:34,870 - Trust me. - Thanks, Dana. 667 00:40:34,872 --> 00:40:38,339 You're a pretty great guy yourself, Dana. 668 00:40:38,341 --> 00:40:40,375 Speaking of great guys-- 669 00:40:40,377 --> 00:40:42,544 Good evening, kids. How are you? 670 00:40:43,713 --> 00:40:46,314 I'm doing a lot better than you, Mr. Cannon. 671 00:40:46,316 --> 00:40:48,884 I understand your business is going down the drain. 672 00:40:48,886 --> 00:40:51,786 ( Clicks Tongue ) Too bad. 673 00:40:51,788 --> 00:40:56,190 Yeah, well-- I can always get another job. 674 00:40:56,192 --> 00:40:58,927 You on the other hand, civil servant, 675 00:40:58,929 --> 00:41:02,430 are stuck in this shitty nowhere traffic school for the rest of your life. 676 00:41:02,432 --> 00:41:04,332 Forever. 677 00:41:05,501 --> 00:41:07,435 I am sick of you, Mr. Cannon. 678 00:41:07,437 --> 00:41:09,370 Fine. Why don't you do something about it? 679 00:41:11,641 --> 00:41:14,009 I'm off-duty. 680 00:41:14,011 --> 00:41:16,745 Why don't we just step right over here and settle this? 681 00:41:16,747 --> 00:41:18,680 Fine, right now. 682 00:41:21,751 --> 00:41:25,020 Dana, why did you get him going? He's going to kill you. 683 00:41:25,022 --> 00:41:27,522 Yeah, I might've gone too far. 684 00:41:27,524 --> 00:41:30,592 - What are you gonna do? - Let's find out. 685 00:41:35,682 --> 00:41:38,684 - Over here, Cannon. - Cannon: Oh, excellent choice. 686 00:41:41,053 --> 00:41:44,122 So, what's gonna be? 687 00:41:44,124 --> 00:41:46,558 Boxing? 688 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,493 Karate? 689 00:41:49,696 --> 00:41:51,363 Wrestling? 690 00:41:51,365 --> 00:41:55,467 - Are you kidding? Look, wimp-- - Amy: Oh, Jesus. 691 00:41:55,469 --> 00:41:58,470 You come on like this big macho strongman. 692 00:41:58,472 --> 00:42:01,206 How about a real test of strength? 693 00:42:01,208 --> 00:42:03,375 How about arm wrestling? 694 00:42:03,377 --> 00:42:05,827 ( Chuckles ) 695 00:42:05,829 --> 00:42:08,230 Sounds great. I better warn you, Cannon, 696 00:42:08,232 --> 00:42:10,965 I happen to be western division arm wrestling champion, 697 00:42:10,967 --> 00:42:13,702 so don't be surprised when I break your arm in two. 698 00:42:13,704 --> 00:42:16,971 Sounds fun. Come on, dickhead. 699 00:42:32,538 --> 00:42:34,473 ( Cracking ) 700 00:42:43,216 --> 00:42:45,850 Spence, can you call it? 701 00:42:45,852 --> 00:42:47,585 Okay, on three. 702 00:42:47,587 --> 00:42:51,205 One, two-- 703 00:42:53,108 --> 00:42:55,710 - ( Kisses ) - three. 704 00:42:55,712 --> 00:42:58,613 ( Cheering ) 705 00:43:33,215 --> 00:43:35,400 - Halik! - Chief! 706 00:43:37,136 --> 00:43:39,721 Whoopsy. 707 00:44:02,444 --> 00:44:05,613 Scott, Scott. 708 00:44:07,216 --> 00:44:10,251 Stephanie... hi. 709 00:44:12,154 --> 00:44:14,089 Hi. 710 00:44:16,892 --> 00:44:20,028 - What happened to your hair? - This is my hair? 711 00:44:20,030 --> 00:44:22,563 I just wear a wig a lot. 712 00:44:22,565 --> 00:44:24,766 It looks terrific-- 713 00:44:24,768 --> 00:44:27,035 Really, terrific. 714 00:44:28,137 --> 00:44:31,239 Hey, do you like cars as much as I do? 715 00:44:31,241 --> 00:44:34,175 Sure, probably more. 716 00:44:34,177 --> 00:44:36,978 You know what I love to do? 717 00:44:36,980 --> 00:44:39,380 I love to drive fast. 718 00:44:40,950 --> 00:44:42,984 Uh, I don't have a license. 719 00:44:42,986 --> 00:44:45,586 We could get into big trouble. 720 00:44:45,588 --> 00:44:47,555 Scott, 721 00:44:47,557 --> 00:44:49,523 when I drive fast, 722 00:44:49,525 --> 00:44:52,127 I get very hot-- 723 00:44:52,129 --> 00:44:54,129 So very, very hot. 724 00:44:54,131 --> 00:44:55,864 Let's go. 725 00:44:55,866 --> 00:44:57,866 ♪ One foot on the brake ♪ 726 00:44:57,868 --> 00:44:59,968 ♪ And one on the gas, hey! ♪ 727 00:45:04,940 --> 00:45:06,207 Faster, Scott. 728 00:45:06,209 --> 00:45:08,609 ♪ Well, there's too much traffic ♪ 729 00:45:08,611 --> 00:45:11,846 ♪ I can't pass, no... ♪ 730 00:45:11,848 --> 00:45:14,448 Faster, Scott, it turns me on. 731 00:45:14,450 --> 00:45:17,485 ♪ So I try my best illegal move ♪ 732 00:45:17,487 --> 00:45:19,553 ♪ A big black and white... ♪ 733 00:45:19,555 --> 00:45:22,957 Go all the way, Scott! Floor it, floor it! 734 00:45:22,959 --> 00:45:25,326 Go faster, Scott! 735 00:45:25,328 --> 00:45:27,812 ♪ Go on and write me up for 125 ♪ 736 00:45:27,814 --> 00:45:30,882 - ♪ Post my face, wanted dead or alive... ♪ - ( Stephanie Laughs ) 737 00:45:30,884 --> 00:45:33,818 Whoa, whoa-oa! ( Laughing ) 738 00:45:35,888 --> 00:45:39,257 - Stephanie: Stop here! - ( Tires Screech ) 739 00:45:39,259 --> 00:45:42,760 This is where I live. I gotta go. 740 00:45:49,802 --> 00:45:52,704 Hey, uh-- you forgot your keys. 741 00:45:54,756 --> 00:45:57,792 It's not my car. I don't know whose car it is. 742 00:46:00,395 --> 00:46:02,330 Oh, shit! 743 00:46:09,571 --> 00:46:12,207 - Amy: Welcome to NASA. - Cannon: Great. 744 00:46:12,209 --> 00:46:14,309 - So this is where you work? - That's right. 745 00:46:14,311 --> 00:46:17,345 I grew up in a place that looks just like this. 746 00:46:17,347 --> 00:46:19,347 Now, Dana, don't fool around in here. 747 00:46:19,349 --> 00:46:22,851 - This is a serious place. - Thanks, Dr. Hopkins. 748 00:46:22,853 --> 00:46:25,686 So these are the readouts for all the space probes 749 00:46:25,688 --> 00:46:29,324 which are currently orbiting. That's the Voyager project. 750 00:46:29,326 --> 00:46:33,061 That's Viking, that's Pioneer, 751 00:46:33,063 --> 00:46:35,296 and that's the Russian's Lunakhod. 752 00:46:35,298 --> 00:46:37,698 Oh, the bad guys, huh? 753 00:46:37,700 --> 00:46:39,700 We'll get them. 754 00:46:39,702 --> 00:46:42,036 ( Fast Beeps ) 755 00:46:42,038 --> 00:46:44,239 ( Beeps Slow, Speed Up ) 756 00:46:45,791 --> 00:46:48,943 Don't mind me, fellas. You guys are doing a terrific job, really. 757 00:46:48,945 --> 00:46:52,013 - Keep up the good work. Enjoy, enjoy. - ( Sighs ) 758 00:46:53,315 --> 00:46:55,249 Hmm. 759 00:47:00,556 --> 00:47:03,224 You are really an aggressive woman. 760 00:47:03,226 --> 00:47:05,426 - Come on. - Oh, my favorite two words. 761 00:47:10,916 --> 00:47:13,885 - Cannon: So I have a question. - Mm-hmm. 762 00:47:13,887 --> 00:47:16,521 - Why are we here? - Because... 763 00:47:16,523 --> 00:47:18,523 of this. 764 00:47:21,126 --> 00:47:23,194 ( Beeps ) 765 00:47:23,196 --> 00:47:25,129 ( Pressure Released ) 766 00:47:29,802 --> 00:47:32,904 This? Could be different. 767 00:47:40,145 --> 00:47:43,147 - Up, up and away. - ( Laughs ) 768 00:47:43,149 --> 00:47:45,717 Whoa, yeah, now I know how a racquetball feels. 769 00:47:47,052 --> 00:47:49,321 Yeah! Yeehaw! 770 00:47:49,323 --> 00:47:53,224 Too much fun. This is a good way to keep your socks up, you know? 771 00:47:53,226 --> 00:47:54,659 ( Humming ) 772 00:47:54,661 --> 00:47:58,029 ♪ I feel nice ♪ ( Hums ) 773 00:47:58,031 --> 00:47:59,798 ♪ Sugar and spice now... ♪ 774 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,165 - ( Humming ) - Come here, Dana. 775 00:48:01,167 --> 00:48:04,168 Dana, come here now. 776 00:48:04,170 --> 00:48:07,138 This feels great. Now what? 777 00:48:15,848 --> 00:48:18,450 Well, I always say, 778 00:48:18,452 --> 00:48:20,685 "If you make love for the first time, 779 00:48:20,687 --> 00:48:23,888 you should at least make it interesting." 780 00:48:23,890 --> 00:48:25,824 I'm for that. 781 00:48:38,471 --> 00:48:41,406 ( Amy Giggling ) 782 00:48:51,950 --> 00:48:54,502 Halik: Tonight, 783 00:48:54,504 --> 00:48:58,039 we get behind the wheel of a car and test you on the fundamentals 784 00:48:58,041 --> 00:49:00,975 - of driving. - First group, Houk, Cannon, 785 00:49:00,977 --> 00:49:03,244 Barnes, Roth, and Hopkins. 786 00:49:03,246 --> 00:49:05,713 Mrs. Houk, you drive. 787 00:49:05,715 --> 00:49:08,716 Where's the car? 788 00:49:08,718 --> 00:49:10,718 Oh, god, we're dead. 789 00:49:10,720 --> 00:49:12,487 Right this way, Mrs. Houk. 790 00:49:12,489 --> 00:49:14,989 ( Engine Revving ) 791 00:49:14,991 --> 00:49:18,826 - Dad, are we there yet? I'm hungry. - Shut up! 792 00:49:20,029 --> 00:49:21,929 Halik: Take a right here, Mrs. Houk. 793 00:49:21,931 --> 00:49:25,400 - ( Ringing ) - Halik: Stop the car, Mrs. Houk. 794 00:49:25,402 --> 00:49:28,319 - I hear bells. - Mrs. Houk! 795 00:49:28,321 --> 00:49:30,488 You hear bells? 796 00:49:30,490 --> 00:49:33,841 - Halik: Shit, hit the brake! - ( Train Horn Blaring ) 797 00:49:36,078 --> 00:49:38,479 Barnes: The train is coming! 798 00:49:38,481 --> 00:49:40,448 Start the car, Mrs. Houk. 799 00:49:42,184 --> 00:49:44,419 ( Engine Cranks ) 800 00:49:44,421 --> 00:49:47,121 You know what a train does when it hits the body? 801 00:49:47,123 --> 00:49:50,425 - Cannon: Start this car! - ( Engine Cranks ) 802 00:49:50,427 --> 00:49:52,644 ( Honking ) 803 00:49:52,646 --> 00:49:56,263 - Cannon: Everybody get out of the car! - Amy: Get out, get out. 804 00:50:03,605 --> 00:50:07,025 ( Engine Cranks ) 805 00:50:07,027 --> 00:50:09,177 Mrs. Houk! 806 00:50:09,179 --> 00:50:11,879 Get out! Get out of the car! 807 00:50:11,881 --> 00:50:13,981 - Where is everyone? - Damn, it's locked! 808 00:50:13,983 --> 00:50:15,416 Come on, come on, we gotta push. 809 00:50:20,622 --> 00:50:23,257 ( Train Honking ) 810 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:29,481 - Would you get over here and push? - Oh, man. 811 00:50:36,238 --> 00:50:39,640 Oh, we're gonna be splattered! 812 00:50:57,242 --> 00:51:00,845 Cannon: Honey, are you okay? God, that scared me! 813 00:51:00,847 --> 00:51:03,915 ( Honking ) 814 00:51:08,504 --> 00:51:10,989 Oh-ho-ho-ho. 815 00:51:10,991 --> 00:51:12,757 Ho! 816 00:51:22,801 --> 00:51:25,036 It's like I always say, 817 00:51:25,038 --> 00:51:27,338 "When the going gets tough, 818 00:51:27,340 --> 00:51:29,541 the tough get going in their pants." 819 00:51:31,793 --> 00:51:35,896 Go ahead and laugh. None of you are gonna finish traffic school anyway. 820 00:51:35,898 --> 00:51:39,033 You're gonna all fail. And I guarantee you 821 00:51:39,035 --> 00:51:42,570 none of you will ever see your cars again. 822 00:51:45,340 --> 00:51:47,341 Jeez. 823 00:51:47,343 --> 00:51:50,878 What am I gonna do? My dad is gonna kill me. 824 00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,881 With the debts I've got, dying sounds pretty good right now. 825 00:51:56,351 --> 00:51:59,386 Hey, would you two burly fellas care to join me 826 00:51:59,388 --> 00:52:01,455 in a desperate mission a little bit later? 827 00:52:01,457 --> 00:52:03,925 Sure. Will there be bloodshed? 828 00:52:11,550 --> 00:52:13,751 Shh. 829 00:52:14,603 --> 00:52:17,538 ( Distant Barking ) 830 00:52:19,008 --> 00:52:20,941 - ( Screams ) - ( Chainsaw Buzzing ) 831 00:52:24,446 --> 00:52:26,981 ( Chainsaw Idles ) 832 00:52:26,983 --> 00:52:29,250 Hey, guys, it's me. 833 00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:32,953 Hey, man, you almost gave me a heart attack. 834 00:52:32,955 --> 00:52:34,889 Great! 835 00:52:37,208 --> 00:52:41,044 Wink, do me a favor-- Try to be an actual person in the next five minutes, okay? 836 00:52:49,988 --> 00:52:52,874 - Cannon: This ain't gonna be easy. - Barnes: Relax, 837 00:52:52,876 --> 00:52:55,410 I got it covered. 838 00:53:02,817 --> 00:53:05,753 ( Sizzling ) 839 00:53:11,343 --> 00:53:13,977 I made this stuff at home. 840 00:53:13,979 --> 00:53:17,315 Works pretty good, huh? 841 00:53:17,317 --> 00:53:20,167 Very nice, very nice. 842 00:53:20,169 --> 00:53:23,037 Um, time to get going, wouldn't you say? 843 00:53:24,573 --> 00:53:26,507 Cannon: There we go. 844 00:53:29,110 --> 00:53:32,046 ( Growling ) 845 00:53:40,889 --> 00:53:43,808 - Uh-oh. - ( Barking ) 846 00:53:44,910 --> 00:53:46,844 I'll save you, here I come. 847 00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:51,782 - ( Chainsaw Roars ) - Yeehaw! 848 00:53:53,085 --> 00:53:55,452 ( Barking ) 849 00:53:55,454 --> 00:53:57,088 ( Barnes Screams ) 850 00:53:58,556 --> 00:54:00,490 ( Roth Screaming ) 851 00:54:05,163 --> 00:54:07,098 Come on. Let's get our cars. 852 00:54:18,327 --> 00:54:20,328 - Is that your truck? - No. 853 00:54:20,330 --> 00:54:22,263 Let's try down here. 854 00:54:26,635 --> 00:54:28,569 Cannon: Shit. 855 00:54:34,009 --> 00:54:36,611 - Who is it? - I know exactly who it is. 856 00:54:36,613 --> 00:54:39,447 It's that pain in the butt, Dana Cannon. 857 00:54:43,652 --> 00:54:45,569 ( Barking Continues ) 858 00:54:47,456 --> 00:54:49,423 - I can't find my Limo. - Halik! 859 00:54:49,425 --> 00:54:50,691 Christ. 860 00:54:50,693 --> 00:54:52,376 ( Barking ) 861 00:55:04,456 --> 00:55:06,624 Fierce, this is just like "Cujo," man. 862 00:55:08,092 --> 00:55:10,594 - Come on, come get us! - There's my truck. 863 00:55:16,635 --> 00:55:18,402 ( Engine Starts ) 864 00:55:28,129 --> 00:55:32,033 ( Meows, Hisses ) 865 00:55:34,002 --> 00:55:37,104 ( Growls ) Oh, tear your heart out. 866 00:55:41,476 --> 00:55:42,910 So long. 867 00:55:44,079 --> 00:55:46,063 ( Dog Cries ) 868 00:55:50,768 --> 00:55:53,603 ( Growling ) 869 00:56:02,948 --> 00:56:05,883 ( Barking ) 870 00:56:10,205 --> 00:56:13,441 - I'll have Cannon picked up within the hour. - I'll take care of him. 871 00:56:14,543 --> 00:56:16,744 I'll really take care of him. 872 00:56:40,085 --> 00:56:42,086 Hey, come back here. 873 00:56:42,088 --> 00:56:44,939 We just stole that thing ourselves. 874 00:56:47,276 --> 00:56:49,177 Shit. 875 00:56:59,905 --> 00:57:02,940 Dana Cannon, you're in big trouble now. 876 00:57:07,212 --> 00:57:10,514 All right, all the money in the till, come on! 877 00:57:10,516 --> 00:57:12,282 Move it! 878 00:57:15,403 --> 00:57:17,972 ( Knocking ) 879 00:57:23,345 --> 00:57:26,397 - What? - ( Knocking Continues ) 880 00:57:26,399 --> 00:57:27,965 Yeah? 881 00:57:29,667 --> 00:57:31,618 - Freeze, mister. - If this is about the rent, 882 00:57:31,620 --> 00:57:33,855 the check's in the mail, I swear to god. 883 00:57:33,857 --> 00:57:36,090 - Is that your truck? - Yeah. 884 00:57:36,092 --> 00:57:38,826 - Where did you find it? Great. - You're under arrest. 885 00:57:38,828 --> 00:57:40,728 Judge: Because this was an armed robbery 886 00:57:40,730 --> 00:57:43,047 and the defendant has appeared before me previously-- 887 00:57:43,049 --> 00:57:45,883 - Your honor, I was framed. - Quiet! 888 00:57:45,885 --> 00:57:48,753 I'm going to set bail at $10,000. 889 00:57:48,755 --> 00:57:51,771 - Great. Do you take Visa? - The court is in recess. 890 00:57:51,773 --> 00:57:53,707 ( Murmuring ) 891 00:57:55,877 --> 00:57:57,944 Was I strict enough? 892 00:57:57,946 --> 00:58:01,548 Oh, yes, very. 893 00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,121 ( Halik Moans ) 894 00:58:12,860 --> 00:58:15,529 Judge: Hank, I want to show you something. 895 00:58:15,531 --> 00:58:18,532 I've computed our take from the sale of the cars. 896 00:58:18,534 --> 00:58:22,569 It comes to over $50,000. 897 00:58:22,571 --> 00:58:24,121 Nedra... 898 00:58:25,357 --> 00:58:27,458 You've changed my whole life. 899 00:58:28,826 --> 00:58:32,029 You've taught me a whole new way of looking at the law. 900 00:58:32,031 --> 00:58:34,231 Well, let's go over to your place. 901 00:58:34,233 --> 00:58:37,034 I'll show you a whole new way of looking at my body. 902 00:58:44,242 --> 00:58:46,877 Oh, I hope this is the right place. 903 00:58:46,879 --> 00:58:49,246 Oh, yes, The Clinic. 904 00:58:53,584 --> 00:58:56,287 I have an appointment with Doc Williams. 905 00:58:56,289 --> 00:58:59,123 Ah, Joan, right on time. I love punctuality. 906 00:58:59,125 --> 00:59:02,543 Why don't you come this way? I am a little harried right now. 907 00:59:02,545 --> 00:59:04,844 I'll tell you, why don't you wait in my office? 908 00:59:04,846 --> 00:59:07,347 I think you'll be a bit more comfortable in here. 909 00:59:07,349 --> 00:59:09,015 Okay. 910 00:59:10,685 --> 00:59:13,587 And we'll get to that examination in a couple of minutes. 911 00:59:13,589 --> 00:59:16,423 I am dying to get at your rear end. 912 00:59:16,425 --> 00:59:18,892 Mm-hmm. Hmm. 913 00:59:18,894 --> 00:59:22,262 She's ready to go, Mr. Kolonawski, and purring like a kitten. 914 00:59:22,264 --> 00:59:24,264 And I'll see you back here in 6,000 miles, 915 00:59:24,266 --> 00:59:26,233 not a mile over. 916 00:59:26,235 --> 00:59:29,669 - Carl, want to back it out for Mr. K? - ( Engine Starts ) 917 00:59:32,657 --> 00:59:34,758 Okay, Joan, I'm ready for you now. 918 00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:36,894 All right, Doc. 919 00:59:36,896 --> 00:59:39,496 - Let's go take a look at it, shall we? - Hmm. 920 00:59:39,498 --> 00:59:41,698 Follow me, please. 921 00:59:41,700 --> 00:59:44,235 Doc, shouldn't I be wearing a gown? 922 00:59:44,237 --> 00:59:47,604 No, don't be silly, we're not that formal around here. 923 00:59:47,606 --> 00:59:49,539 What the heck? 924 00:59:51,877 --> 00:59:53,677 - All right, Joan-- - ( Phone Rings ) 925 00:59:53,679 --> 00:59:55,579 Excuse me. 926 00:59:55,581 --> 00:59:58,482 Hello, The Clinic. Yes, Mr. Armistead. 927 00:59:58,484 --> 01:00:00,484 Yes, sir, could you hold a second, please? 928 01:00:00,486 --> 01:00:02,552 Uh, Joan, why don't you get it up on that rack 929 01:00:02,554 --> 01:00:04,688 and give me a holler as soon as you're ready? 930 01:00:04,690 --> 01:00:06,656 Yes, Mr. Armistead. 931 01:00:06,658 --> 01:00:08,893 I see. Well, that's the same problem 932 01:00:08,895 --> 01:00:11,362 - we had in the past, isn't it, sir? - ( Whimpers ) 933 01:00:11,364 --> 01:00:13,097 Is there a constant vibration? 934 01:00:13,099 --> 01:00:15,915 Joan: God, there's so many doctors in here! 935 01:00:15,917 --> 01:00:18,485 What's this? "Gas analysis"? 936 01:00:18,487 --> 01:00:20,587 - Gosh! - Doc: What I'd like to do is bring it in 937 01:00:20,589 --> 01:00:23,124 - as soon as possible and let's recheck it. - ( Groans ) 938 01:00:23,126 --> 01:00:25,393 No, I want you to bring it in immediately, sir. 939 01:00:25,395 --> 01:00:28,396 let's nip this in the bud. That's my motto. 940 01:00:28,398 --> 01:00:29,997 How does your week look? 941 01:00:29,999 --> 01:00:32,766 - Thursday's impossible. How about Friday-- - ( Groans ) 942 01:00:32,768 --> 01:00:35,302 - at 2:30 p.m.? - All right, Doc, I'm ready. 943 01:00:35,304 --> 01:00:39,606 - Roger? - ( Joan Whimpering ) 944 01:00:39,608 --> 01:00:41,308 You can? 945 01:00:41,310 --> 01:00:43,743 Fine. I'll see you at 2:30-- 946 01:00:43,745 --> 01:00:45,045 on Friday. 947 01:00:45,047 --> 01:00:47,714 - So long, Mr. Armistead. - ( Whimpering ) 948 01:00:49,267 --> 01:00:52,102 Ah, will you two guys please check out that rear end? 949 01:00:53,638 --> 01:00:55,639 ( Joan Squeals ) 950 01:00:55,641 --> 01:00:58,492 - Man: Okay, so now what? - ( Joan Groaning ) 951 01:01:00,862 --> 01:01:02,296 ( Clangs ) 952 01:01:11,139 --> 01:01:12,739 Hey, kids. 953 01:01:14,025 --> 01:01:16,410 - Look at this. - ( Both Scream ) 954 01:01:16,412 --> 01:01:18,279 Hey, come on, come on, come on. All right, all right, 955 01:01:18,281 --> 01:01:20,864 it's just a fake... Oh no, it's not. 956 01:01:24,386 --> 01:01:27,621 Wink, would you leave my kids alone? 957 01:01:33,661 --> 01:01:35,662 Okay, now then, 958 01:01:35,664 --> 01:01:37,831 for five points, true or false? 959 01:01:37,833 --> 01:01:40,301 You may make a u-turn 960 01:01:40,303 --> 01:01:42,736 in-between intersections of a business district. 961 01:01:43,939 --> 01:01:45,839 - False. - That's absolutely right. 962 01:01:45,841 --> 01:01:47,942 Congratulations. Now-- 963 01:01:49,444 --> 01:01:51,445 What's going on with you kids? 964 01:01:51,447 --> 01:01:55,249 Yeah, nice accessories-- matching, no less! 965 01:01:55,251 --> 01:01:57,684 How MTV of you kids. 966 01:01:57,686 --> 01:02:00,054 So this is serious kinda, huh? 967 01:02:00,056 --> 01:02:02,522 It's just not fair we have to study this hard. 968 01:02:02,524 --> 01:02:04,858 You think it was fair I greased up my ass every day 969 01:02:04,860 --> 01:02:07,261 and you had Manny, Moe and Jack looking up it? 970 01:02:07,263 --> 01:02:09,997 You feel better, don't you? 971 01:02:09,999 --> 01:02:11,748 Why do I find all this intriguing? 972 01:02:11,750 --> 01:02:15,151 - Dana, we've been at this for hours. - Yeah, we can pass that test. 973 01:02:15,153 --> 01:02:19,323 Look, I lost a $20,000 account. 974 01:02:19,325 --> 01:02:21,791 I'm facing 10 to 20 years 975 01:02:21,793 --> 01:02:24,828 on a major felony. If I'm gonna head up the river, 976 01:02:24,830 --> 01:02:27,598 I wanna drive myself up the river, all right? 977 01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:30,367 You with me? 978 01:02:30,369 --> 01:02:33,203 - All: Yeah. - Okay, I knew I could talk you into it. 979 01:02:33,205 --> 01:02:36,273 Now then, when entering an intersection... 980 01:02:36,275 --> 01:02:38,425 Williams, pass. 981 01:02:38,427 --> 01:02:42,395 Roth, pass. Mccarty, pass. 982 01:02:42,397 --> 01:02:45,132 Hopkins, pass. 983 01:02:45,134 --> 01:02:47,668 Popadophalos, pass. 984 01:02:47,670 --> 01:02:49,319 Cannon... 985 01:02:51,956 --> 01:02:55,209 - Pass. - All right! 986 01:02:55,211 --> 01:02:57,277 - We all made it! - Hey! 987 01:02:59,214 --> 01:03:02,049 That's the good news. The bad news is, 988 01:03:02,051 --> 01:03:04,284 these written tests 989 01:03:04,286 --> 01:03:07,054 count only 5% of your grades. 990 01:03:07,056 --> 01:03:09,289 What? You gotta be kidding. 991 01:03:09,291 --> 01:03:13,093 You mean we have to take another test before we can get our certificate? 992 01:03:13,095 --> 01:03:14,928 That's right, Ms. Hopkins. 993 01:03:14,930 --> 01:03:18,198 So if you'll all follow me into the parking lot, 994 01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:21,035 we'll have your driving skill tests. 995 01:03:21,037 --> 01:03:23,203 ( Grumbling ) 996 01:03:26,707 --> 01:03:29,809 Hey, what's the matter, baby? 997 01:03:29,811 --> 01:03:32,446 Why so cold? 998 01:03:32,448 --> 01:03:34,381 Nothing. 999 01:03:38,653 --> 01:03:41,488 Barnes: Oh, come on, is he kidding?! 1000 01:03:41,490 --> 01:03:43,323 Cannon: Is this amusing or what? 1001 01:03:43,325 --> 01:03:45,492 Morris: The objective of this test is to stay 1002 01:03:45,494 --> 01:03:47,494 within the white painted lines 1003 01:03:47,496 --> 01:03:49,496 regardless of the obstacles in your path 1004 01:03:49,498 --> 01:03:52,832 or the conditions of the road. Let's begin with Mr. Greeber. 1005 01:03:52,834 --> 01:03:55,536 Go get 'em, Scotty. 1006 01:03:55,538 --> 01:03:58,038 - Man: Do it, Scotty. - Man #2: All right, Greeber. 1007 01:04:14,589 --> 01:04:17,807 ( Screeching Tires ) 1008 01:04:19,844 --> 01:04:21,595 ( All Groan ) 1009 01:04:25,633 --> 01:04:27,568 ( Screeching Tires ) 1010 01:04:31,106 --> 01:04:33,807 ( Screeching Tires ) 1011 01:04:33,809 --> 01:04:35,909 That son of a bitch. 1012 01:04:46,153 --> 01:04:50,390 - It's a mess. - He'll never be able to make it. 1013 01:04:50,392 --> 01:04:53,310 - None of them will. - ( Screeching Tires ) 1014 01:04:58,666 --> 01:05:00,434 ( Screaming ) 1015 01:05:25,309 --> 01:05:27,477 So, how did I do? 1016 01:05:43,828 --> 01:05:47,064 - Popadophalos: Didn't do so hot. - Cannon: How about we all fail? 1017 01:05:47,066 --> 01:05:49,566 Looks like we're never gonna drive again. 1018 01:05:49,568 --> 01:05:52,268 I don't believe it. That's it. 1019 01:05:52,270 --> 01:05:54,638 My dad's coming back in town tomorrow. 1020 01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:58,341 - I'm dead. - Too bad, tough break. 1021 01:05:58,343 --> 01:06:01,511 If I were you, I'd get used to public transportation. 1022 01:06:13,307 --> 01:06:15,742 Doc: I'm in the car business and I can't drive. 1023 01:06:18,379 --> 01:06:21,548 We're screwed. We got shafted. 1024 01:06:21,550 --> 01:06:25,919 - My dad is gonna kill me. - Not if we get to him first. 1025 01:06:25,921 --> 01:06:29,088 Scott: Let's face it, we're never gonna drive again. 1026 01:06:29,090 --> 01:06:32,158 Wait a minute here. I can't believe I'm hearing this. 1027 01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:34,594 You think we're finished, 1028 01:06:34,596 --> 01:06:36,596 Washed up, history? 1029 01:06:36,598 --> 01:06:41,134 Well, I've got news for you, it's not over till it's over. 1030 01:06:41,136 --> 01:06:44,721 Look at Michael Jackson-- his hair caught on fire. 1031 01:06:44,723 --> 01:06:46,556 Did he give up? No. 1032 01:06:46,558 --> 01:06:49,225 He called the fire department and went on a "Victory" tour. 1033 01:06:50,628 --> 01:06:53,463 All right. Now instead of pissing and moaning 1034 01:06:53,465 --> 01:06:55,766 about how bad off we are, 1035 01:06:55,768 --> 01:06:57,768 let's zero in on the guy 1036 01:06:57,770 --> 01:07:00,070 who made sure we'd never drive again. 1037 01:07:00,072 --> 01:07:02,673 Let's get the guy who screwed us. 1038 01:07:02,675 --> 01:07:05,275 - Let's get Halik. - Yeah, fuck him! 1039 01:07:06,778 --> 01:07:09,346 Rip his nuts off! ( Burps ) 1040 01:07:09,348 --> 01:07:12,349 All right, I think she had enough to drink. But she's right. 1041 01:07:12,351 --> 01:07:14,868 Let's get some beers. Let's go get him! 1042 01:07:14,870 --> 01:07:16,202 - Come on! - All: Yeah! 1043 01:07:16,204 --> 01:07:17,704 - Right now! - Man: Yeah! 1044 01:07:17,706 --> 01:07:20,406 Now this I like. First we kill him, 1045 01:07:20,408 --> 01:07:22,809 - then cut his face off. - Wink, you're a sick man, 1046 01:07:22,811 --> 01:07:24,310 - trust me on that. - Oh, come on. 1047 01:07:24,312 --> 01:07:26,145 Doc, can I have a word with you? 1048 01:07:28,348 --> 01:07:30,817 Nedra: Come on, ride me, daddy. 1049 01:07:30,819 --> 01:07:32,819 I'll be right there, your honor. 1050 01:07:32,821 --> 01:07:34,754 ( Moans ) 1051 01:07:36,256 --> 01:07:38,892 - ( Nedra Moans ) - ( Halik Laughs ) 1052 01:07:38,894 --> 01:07:41,812 ( Both Moaning ) 1053 01:07:44,816 --> 01:07:47,450 Oh, man! 1054 01:07:47,452 --> 01:07:51,354 This has totally ruined sex for me for the rest of my life. 1055 01:07:53,124 --> 01:07:55,125 - Doc, you got the tools? - Right here. 1056 01:07:55,127 --> 01:07:56,927 Let's go. 1057 01:08:00,264 --> 01:08:02,199 - Did you see anybody? - I don't know. 1058 01:08:02,201 --> 01:08:03,433 Good. 1059 01:08:04,568 --> 01:08:06,369 ( Loretta Burps ) 1060 01:08:16,881 --> 01:08:19,816 ( Groans ) Move over, buddy. 1061 01:08:19,818 --> 01:08:21,852 Yeah, that's the one I want, right there. 1062 01:08:21,854 --> 01:08:24,388 That's it. Yeah, give that another turn. 1063 01:08:24,390 --> 01:08:27,023 ( Moaning ) 1064 01:08:27,025 --> 01:08:28,958 ( Tool Clangs ) 1065 01:08:30,762 --> 01:08:33,196 - What's that noise? - I don't hear anything. 1066 01:08:33,198 --> 01:08:35,365 - Now get back to work. - ( Grunts ) 1067 01:08:35,367 --> 01:08:38,368 ( Moaning ) 1068 01:08:38,370 --> 01:08:40,637 ( Rock Music Playing ) 1069 01:08:40,639 --> 01:08:42,406 Do you like it? 1070 01:08:46,210 --> 01:08:48,512 - Yeah. - ( Laughs ) I'm glad. 1071 01:08:49,881 --> 01:08:51,815 Come to bed, honey. 1072 01:08:53,751 --> 01:08:56,903 ♪ Every boy's got one hiding in the dark ♪ 1073 01:08:56,905 --> 01:09:00,173 ♪ Every boy's got one, it's my favorite part ♪ 1074 01:09:00,175 --> 01:09:02,608 ♪ Every boy's got one, give it to me... ♪ 1075 01:09:02,610 --> 01:09:05,578 - Man: Stephanie? - Oh no, my father! 1076 01:09:05,580 --> 01:09:07,580 I didn't expect him home so soon. 1077 01:09:07,582 --> 01:09:10,266 - Your father? - Yeah. If he finds you in bed with me, 1078 01:09:10,268 --> 01:09:12,436 he'll kill you. 1079 01:09:18,276 --> 01:09:20,310 I'm only 15. 1080 01:09:23,064 --> 01:09:26,066 Hurry up! My father will kill you. 1081 01:09:26,068 --> 01:09:28,134 He's an animal. He's a teamster. 1082 01:09:28,136 --> 01:09:30,670 How could you be 15? You've got a driver's license. 1083 01:09:30,672 --> 01:09:33,606 Fake I.D.-- I've been driving since I've been 12. 1084 01:09:33,608 --> 01:09:36,944 Stephanie's father: Where's daddy's girl? In your room? 1085 01:09:41,449 --> 01:09:44,468 - Stephie-- - Hi, daddy. 1086 01:09:47,488 --> 01:09:49,990 - Who the-- - I didn't know she-- 1087 01:09:49,992 --> 01:09:52,559 You? I will kill you! 1088 01:09:52,561 --> 01:09:56,063 Oh, god. Oh, gee. Oh, god. Oh my god! 1089 01:09:58,165 --> 01:09:59,933 - Oh god. - You're dead! 1090 01:09:59,935 --> 01:10:01,835 Stephanie: Scott, I'll call you later. 1091 01:10:04,972 --> 01:10:07,407 Doc: That's it. Let's get out of here. 1092 01:10:17,652 --> 01:10:19,969 - What are you doing? - ( Moans ) 1093 01:10:19,971 --> 01:10:22,672 - Are you gonna be a good boy? - Yes, mommy. Yes. 1094 01:10:22,674 --> 01:10:26,409 - ( Nedra Shouting ) - What the-- 1095 01:10:26,411 --> 01:10:28,428 Move, move. 1096 01:10:28,430 --> 01:10:30,964 - This ought to be good. Stay tuned. - ( Moaning ) 1097 01:10:30,966 --> 01:10:34,000 - Come on. - ( Moaning Continues ) 1098 01:10:39,974 --> 01:10:41,875 Bastard! 1099 01:10:42,944 --> 01:10:44,845 See that ledger on the nightstand? 1100 01:10:48,332 --> 01:10:51,934 - Uh, yeah. - Come here. 1101 01:10:54,922 --> 01:10:58,124 They were gonna sell your cars and split the money. 1102 01:10:58,126 --> 01:11:00,961 Whip me till it hurts. I knew something weird was going on. 1103 01:11:00,963 --> 01:11:03,530 - Halik: Yes, mommy! - That ledger tells everything. 1104 01:11:03,532 --> 01:11:07,467 Now get it to Chief Fromm down at city hall and he'll take care of them. 1105 01:11:07,469 --> 01:11:10,504 Well, thanks. You know, I have a sense about people, 1106 01:11:10,506 --> 01:11:13,272 and I felt all along that you were decent and kind. 1107 01:11:13,274 --> 01:11:15,542 - Shove it, dipshit. - ( Halik Barking ) 1108 01:11:15,544 --> 01:11:17,878 And merry Christmas to you too, Santa. 1109 01:11:21,716 --> 01:11:24,618 Can't go this way. Let's go. 1110 01:11:26,286 --> 01:11:28,755 Come on, let's go. 1111 01:11:28,757 --> 01:11:31,424 - ( Whip Slapping ) - Nedra: No, sit, no! 1112 01:11:31,426 --> 01:11:34,761 - This is the only one open. - Yeah, but who could fit in here? 1113 01:11:46,073 --> 01:11:48,808 ( Nedra Screaming, Laughing ) 1114 01:11:50,745 --> 01:11:52,846 ( Thumps ) 1115 01:11:59,720 --> 01:12:01,438 - ( Loretta Screams ) - ( Nedra Moans Louder ) 1116 01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:04,457 - Nedra: Oh, yeah. - ( Halik Moaning ) 1117 01:12:07,444 --> 01:12:09,545 - Halik: Oh, honey, yeah. - ( Nedra Moaning ) 1118 01:12:09,547 --> 01:12:12,481 - Halik: Yeah, yeah. - ( Both Moaning ) 1119 01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,621 I just hope Houk's on the pill. 1120 01:12:19,957 --> 01:12:21,390 Nedra: Oh, yes! 1121 01:12:23,761 --> 01:12:26,946 ( Nedra Laughing ) 1122 01:12:26,948 --> 01:12:28,815 She's got it. Let's go. 1123 01:12:28,817 --> 01:12:30,766 - Nedra: Yeah. Oh, press it. - ( Door Thumps ) 1124 01:12:32,636 --> 01:12:35,071 - Who the hell was that? - I don't know. 1125 01:12:35,073 --> 01:12:37,707 But she's got the ledger. 1126 01:12:45,115 --> 01:12:46,850 - ( Screams ) - You bastard. 1127 01:12:46,852 --> 01:12:48,351 - Now, sugar-- - Don't sugar me. 1128 01:12:48,353 --> 01:12:50,186 Dana Cannon's on his way to Chief Fromm 1129 01:12:50,188 --> 01:12:52,355 to tell him about your little scheme. 1130 01:12:52,357 --> 01:12:54,741 - Morris, you're a cop. How could you do this? - You bitch. 1131 01:13:00,681 --> 01:13:02,649 ( Engine Starts ) 1132 01:13:02,651 --> 01:13:05,619 - ( Screeching Tires ) - Shit! 1133 01:13:05,621 --> 01:13:08,154 - Wait for me. - ( Morris Grunting ) 1134 01:13:08,156 --> 01:13:11,024 ( Nedra Screaming ) 1135 01:13:15,562 --> 01:13:18,832 That's it! 1136 01:13:21,886 --> 01:13:24,187 ( Both Screaming ) 1137 01:13:34,148 --> 01:13:36,533 ( Groans ) 1138 01:13:36,535 --> 01:13:38,634 I would have come out to you. 1139 01:13:39,970 --> 01:13:41,437 Dumb thing. 1140 01:13:41,439 --> 01:13:44,941 - Nedra: Yeah! - Halik: Come on. 1141 01:13:44,943 --> 01:13:48,411 The damned thing, it only goes in reverse! 1142 01:13:48,413 --> 01:13:51,047 - Oh, screw it! - ( Screeching Tires ) 1143 01:14:00,808 --> 01:14:03,710 ( Both Women Screaming ) 1144 01:14:03,712 --> 01:14:05,528 ( Screams ) Dana, look out. It's Halik. 1145 01:14:05,530 --> 01:14:08,782 ( Screeching Tires ) 1146 01:14:08,784 --> 01:14:11,584 ( Growls ) 1147 01:14:20,894 --> 01:14:23,596 Virginia, get down. I told you to stop it, Virginia. 1148 01:14:30,621 --> 01:14:33,156 So long, sucker. 1149 01:14:35,609 --> 01:14:38,644 Cannon: Oh, what the hell is this? 1150 01:14:38,646 --> 01:14:41,715 - ( March Playing ) - Cannon: A parade? 1151 01:14:41,717 --> 01:14:42,915 Come on, let's go. 1152 01:14:44,601 --> 01:14:46,836 - Popadophalos: A parade! - Amy: It's Halik! 1153 01:14:46,838 --> 01:14:49,005 - ( Screeching Tires ) - Doc: Oh no, come on! 1154 01:14:50,907 --> 01:14:53,793 Get out of the car. Come on! Would you please stop fighting? 1155 01:14:53,795 --> 01:14:55,795 We've gotta catch Cannon, come on! 1156 01:14:55,797 --> 01:14:58,331 Amy: Excuse me, excuse me. 1157 01:14:58,333 --> 01:15:01,101 - Cannon: Whoa, look out. - Amy: Sorry. 1158 01:15:01,103 --> 01:15:03,252 Amy: Are we following Dana? 1159 01:15:03,254 --> 01:15:04,754 Right here. Get in here. 1160 01:15:04,756 --> 01:15:07,156 - Get in. - Oh! 1161 01:15:07,158 --> 01:15:10,126 Out of my way! Move, move, move! 1162 01:15:10,128 --> 01:15:11,460 ( Honks ) 1163 01:15:15,165 --> 01:15:17,217 We need a vehicle! Get on that float! 1164 01:15:17,219 --> 01:15:19,219 Hurry up. Get up! 1165 01:15:19,221 --> 01:15:22,705 - Up! Up! Move! - ( Women Scream ) 1166 01:15:22,707 --> 01:15:25,324 - ( Screeching Tires ) - ( Cheering ) 1167 01:15:27,611 --> 01:15:31,147 - Doc: There's Halik. - All right, come on, Dana, let's go. 1168 01:15:34,902 --> 01:15:38,671 - ( Screeching Tires ) - Nedra: Get away from me, you frigging clown! 1169 01:15:38,673 --> 01:15:40,407 You frigging mouse. 1170 01:15:40,409 --> 01:15:42,625 Get your hands off me, you frigging duck. 1171 01:15:43,560 --> 01:15:46,162 Oh, here comes the campaign. 1172 01:15:46,164 --> 01:15:49,015 ( Sirens Blaring ) 1173 01:15:49,017 --> 01:15:51,117 - ( Screeching Tires ) - whoa! 1174 01:15:55,389 --> 01:15:56,823 Oh, shit! 1175 01:15:56,825 --> 01:15:59,425 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1176 01:16:03,014 --> 01:16:05,181 - Is this the right color? - Yeah? 1177 01:16:05,183 --> 01:16:07,550 Great. Come on. 1178 01:16:07,552 --> 01:16:11,021 - Are you sure about this? - Hey, it's the only way. Come on. 1179 01:16:13,457 --> 01:16:15,392 Right this way, miss. 1180 01:16:17,594 --> 01:16:21,064 - Don't I get a ticket? - No, that's all right. There's no tickets today. 1181 01:16:21,066 --> 01:16:22,999 ( Screeching Tires ) 1182 01:16:26,837 --> 01:16:29,639 Okay, we gotta get this car back. They'll be done in an hour. 1183 01:16:29,641 --> 01:16:33,043 - No sweat, man. - There's my dad. Over there. 1184 01:16:33,045 --> 01:16:36,345 Hi, dad. Good to see you. Let's get you home. 1185 01:16:36,347 --> 01:16:38,948 Wait a-- Why are we rushing? 1186 01:16:38,950 --> 01:16:42,785 Roth: Hey, don't worry about it. 1187 01:16:43,887 --> 01:16:46,256 - Screw it. - Roth: Let's go. 1188 01:16:48,225 --> 01:16:50,560 - Jeff, who is this? - Don't worry about it. 1189 01:16:55,632 --> 01:16:59,369 - Oh, crap, roadblock. - ( Sirens Blaring ) 1190 01:17:01,405 --> 01:17:03,339 They went in there. Turn! Get them. 1191 01:17:10,213 --> 01:17:13,182 I give up. Please, me too. 1192 01:17:13,184 --> 01:17:16,486 Somebody take me, yeah. Somebody take me, please. 1193 01:17:16,488 --> 01:17:19,922 - Somebody take me. I give up. - Nedra: Oh, ooh, ooh. 1194 01:17:29,616 --> 01:17:31,884 Cannon: No, no, no. This way. 1195 01:17:31,886 --> 01:17:33,753 Let's talk about some real weapons. 1196 01:17:33,755 --> 01:17:37,807 Swat teams all over the nation call it the k-gun, or kill gun. 1197 01:17:37,809 --> 01:17:40,292 It's capable of firing 40 rounds in three seconds... 1198 01:17:41,862 --> 01:17:43,796 - Ho! - This way. 1199 01:17:44,865 --> 01:17:46,599 This way. Come on, come on. 1200 01:17:46,601 --> 01:17:48,901 - ( Nedra Groans ) - Come on, here. 1201 01:17:48,903 --> 01:17:50,954 ...It can cut a man in half in two, 1202 01:17:50,956 --> 01:17:54,624 ruin his whole weekend. And it's great in crowds. 1203 01:17:59,730 --> 01:18:03,199 - How about this for laughs? - They got us. 1204 01:18:03,201 --> 01:18:06,002 They don't know us. Act nonchalant. 1205 01:18:06,004 --> 01:18:09,271 Hello, I'm officer Stephens, Puerto Rican highway patrol. 1206 01:18:09,273 --> 01:18:11,541 Buenas noches. How have you been? Good to see you. 1207 01:18:11,543 --> 01:18:14,010 Nice uniform. You know, we should get some of these. 1208 01:18:14,012 --> 01:18:16,479 - I'm gonna mention it to the Chief. - Halik: Stop that man. 1209 01:18:16,481 --> 01:18:18,080 He's wanted. 1210 01:18:19,783 --> 01:18:22,318 I'm not as happy as I should be. 1211 01:18:22,320 --> 01:18:24,154 Follow me! 1212 01:18:29,142 --> 01:18:31,961 Hey, hey! 1213 01:18:31,963 --> 01:18:34,364 Don't shoot me, I give up. 1214 01:18:34,366 --> 01:18:38,134 - Get them, get them. - Don't shoot me, I give up. 1215 01:18:38,136 --> 01:18:41,737 - Come on. - Don't shoot! 1216 01:18:45,025 --> 01:18:47,994 Get him! Oh, when I get my hands on him 1217 01:18:47,996 --> 01:18:50,296 I'm gonna rip you a new one, Cannon! 1218 01:18:50,298 --> 01:18:52,265 Get that guy. Come on! 1219 01:18:54,367 --> 01:18:55,835 Ready? 1220 01:18:55,837 --> 01:18:58,921 - Whoa. - ( Starting Gun Fires ) 1221 01:19:01,758 --> 01:19:03,859 ( Screaming ) 1222 01:19:11,985 --> 01:19:14,554 - Oh, god. - I'm gonna rip you apart! 1223 01:19:18,576 --> 01:19:20,176 - Stop so I can I'll kill you. - You gotta help me. 1224 01:19:20,178 --> 01:19:22,345 I gotta a few problems of my own right now, Tiger. 1225 01:19:24,748 --> 01:19:27,750 ( Screeching Tires ) 1226 01:19:27,752 --> 01:19:31,387 Mr. Roth: Listen, you've got a lot of explaining to do-- 1227 01:19:31,389 --> 01:19:32,822 - Okay. - What the-- 1228 01:19:32,824 --> 01:19:34,990 - Good to have you home. - What--? 1229 01:19:34,992 --> 01:19:36,359 What? 1230 01:19:36,361 --> 01:19:38,428 Hey, who-- who in the hell is this guy? 1231 01:19:38,430 --> 01:19:40,563 - Who's this guy? - Roth: Let's go, Wink. 1232 01:19:40,565 --> 01:19:43,700 - Hey, Jeff-- - ( Screeching Tires ) 1233 01:19:46,303 --> 01:19:48,538 ( Siren Blaring ) 1234 01:19:49,707 --> 01:19:50,974 Oh god. 1235 01:19:53,276 --> 01:19:55,812 I wonder if he'll shoot our tires or aim for our heads. 1236 01:20:02,435 --> 01:20:05,905 I'm in pursuit of a Mercedes 500-SEL, 1237 01:20:05,907 --> 01:20:08,774 License plate 2GB 485. 1238 01:20:08,776 --> 01:20:10,676 Request assistance. 1239 01:20:19,352 --> 01:20:21,487 That's what's great about this force. 1240 01:20:21,489 --> 01:20:23,489 You ask for help and you get it. 1241 01:20:24,908 --> 01:20:26,542 They got a whole army after us. 1242 01:20:29,279 --> 01:20:31,347 ( Laughs ) I can just feel it, man. 1243 01:20:31,349 --> 01:20:33,349 There's gonna be a shoot-out now. 1244 01:20:33,351 --> 01:20:36,919 Car owner: Perfect timing. 1245 01:20:36,921 --> 01:20:39,288 All right, lady. Come here, come here. 1246 01:20:39,290 --> 01:20:41,624 Get in there, okay. Relax yourself. Good. 1247 01:20:41,626 --> 01:20:45,061 - Have a nice day. So long. Bye. - We did it. 1248 01:20:46,563 --> 01:20:49,398 - What's happening? - You know, I was just asking everyone, 1249 01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:51,734 "Where the hell are Jeff and Wink?" 1250 01:20:51,736 --> 01:20:54,586 - ( Siren Blaring ) - Halik: Hurry up, hurry up! 1251 01:21:06,650 --> 01:21:09,952 Come on, get them-- Virginia! 1252 01:21:09,954 --> 01:21:14,740 - I'm gonna kill you, witch! - Screw off, you slut. 1253 01:21:15,859 --> 01:21:17,327 Come here! 1254 01:21:23,516 --> 01:21:25,017 This way. 1255 01:21:31,324 --> 01:21:33,443 That's him. That's the guy. 1256 01:21:35,946 --> 01:21:37,913 - In here! - Do you have an appointment? 1257 01:21:37,915 --> 01:21:39,915 Do you have an appointment? Do you have--? 1258 01:21:39,917 --> 01:21:42,218 You have an appointment?! Do you have an appointment? 1259 01:21:42,220 --> 01:21:45,221 Do you have an appointment? Do you have an--? Do you have an appointment? 1260 01:21:46,340 --> 01:21:49,225 Sir, I got something here you should read. 1261 01:21:49,227 --> 01:21:52,362 I'll call you back. Some people just came into my office. 1262 01:21:52,364 --> 01:21:54,997 - ( All Panting ) - See, right-- 1263 01:21:56,950 --> 01:21:59,235 - Nedra: Get off! - This ledger contains officer Halik 1264 01:21:59,237 --> 01:22:01,537 and Judge Henderson's plan to bilk the citizens 1265 01:22:01,539 --> 01:22:03,573 and the city of thousands of dollars. 1266 01:22:03,575 --> 01:22:06,442 That's a lie. This man is accused of armed robbery. 1267 01:22:06,444 --> 01:22:08,294 - That's the fatigue jacket the hold-up man wore. - What?! 1268 01:22:08,296 --> 01:22:09,795 I remember the insignia. 1269 01:22:09,797 --> 01:22:11,964 - I'm positive. This is the man. - That's a lie. 1270 01:22:11,966 --> 01:22:13,699 - That's a lie, sir. - Arrest this man. 1271 01:22:13,701 --> 01:22:15,401 ( Crying ) No, no, no. 1272 01:22:15,403 --> 01:22:17,736 Judge Henderson, you have a lot of explaining to do. 1273 01:22:19,522 --> 01:22:22,741 How about a little strip search, and we'll call this whole thing even? 1274 01:22:22,743 --> 01:22:24,744 - Arrest her! - I'm innocent. 1275 01:22:24,746 --> 01:22:26,545 I'm innocent, sir! Tell him, Nedra! 1276 01:22:26,547 --> 01:22:29,214 - Tell him! - Shut up. I've got enough problems of my own. 1277 01:22:29,216 --> 01:22:31,083 How about a little dinner and some eating? 1278 01:22:31,085 --> 01:22:34,020 How about a little "Hide the nightstick"? How about-- 1279 01:22:34,022 --> 01:22:36,773 It is a great pleasure to present each of you with a certificate, 1280 01:22:36,775 --> 01:22:39,308 which certifies you've completed your course 1281 01:22:39,310 --> 01:22:41,310 of driver's education traffic school. 1282 01:22:41,312 --> 01:22:44,480 - Congratulations. - All: Yeah! 1283 01:22:46,150 --> 01:22:48,384 Amy: Thank you. 1284 01:22:48,386 --> 01:22:50,386 People, just a little reminder, 1285 01:22:50,388 --> 01:22:53,322 there'll be a post-graduation party at my place tonight. 1286 01:22:53,324 --> 01:22:55,691 I expect you all there promptly at 8:00. 1287 01:22:55,693 --> 01:22:59,328 Dressed as your favorite biblical character. Thank you. 1288 01:22:59,330 --> 01:23:01,630 - Woman: This is great. - Man: That's good. 1289 01:23:03,500 --> 01:23:05,935 So now that we've graduated, 1290 01:23:05,937 --> 01:23:07,937 will I ever see you again? 1291 01:23:07,939 --> 01:23:10,372 I think so. I'm moving in with you. 1292 01:23:10,374 --> 01:23:12,608 - ( Chuckles ) Oh, you are? - Mm-hmm. 1293 01:23:12,610 --> 01:23:15,210 That's right. So why don't you just follow me 1294 01:23:15,212 --> 01:23:18,414 in your truck to my place so we can pick up my things? 1295 01:23:24,721 --> 01:23:27,556 So maybe we could stop at the space lab 1296 01:23:27,558 --> 01:23:30,026 and go for a little twirl? 1297 01:23:31,394 --> 01:23:33,830 ( Door Opens ) 1298 01:23:33,832 --> 01:23:36,182 All right, Emma Jean, let's get going. 1299 01:23:36,184 --> 01:23:39,351 - Let me drive, Loretta. - Why should I let you drive? 1300 01:23:39,353 --> 01:23:42,088 - Because you can't see a thing. - Don't be silly, 1301 01:23:42,090 --> 01:23:44,423 I can see as well as you can. 1302 01:23:54,567 --> 01:23:57,503 ( Rock Music Playing ) 1303 01:24:21,161 --> 01:24:24,347 ♪ There's a feeling that I sometimes get ♪ 1304 01:24:27,017 --> 01:24:30,469 ♪ Ooh, it's not unusual ♪ 1305 01:24:32,289 --> 01:24:35,491 ♪ For me to swing 'cause I can't see it ♪ 1306 01:24:37,827 --> 01:24:40,897 ♪ I go sneaking down the hallway ♪ 1307 01:24:40,899 --> 01:24:43,482 ♪ Highway recognize ♪ 1308 01:24:43,484 --> 01:24:45,251 ♪ Taken by a brain wave ♪ 1309 01:24:45,253 --> 01:24:48,520 ♪ And I can't control my drive ♪ 1310 01:24:49,907 --> 01:24:53,643 ♪ Sometimes I break through the wall ♪ 1311 01:24:53,645 --> 01:24:58,313 ♪ Oh, I'm on moving violation when I move ♪ 1312 01:24:59,983 --> 01:25:03,686 ♪ A moving violation when I move ♪ 1313 01:25:03,688 --> 01:25:05,721 ♪ Watch me! ♪ 1314 01:25:05,723 --> 01:25:09,158 ♪ Losing all my patience when I do ♪ 1315 01:25:09,160 --> 01:25:10,893 ♪ Watch me! ♪ 1316 01:25:10,895 --> 01:25:14,764 ♪ A moving violation- lation-lation-lation ♪ 1317 01:25:25,826 --> 01:25:29,328 ♪ There's a feeling that I can't pull back ♪ 1318 01:25:31,665 --> 01:25:34,634 ♪ I can't sit and I can't stand ♪ 1319 01:25:36,904 --> 01:25:39,939 ♪ And the things I want, I just go get ♪ 1320 01:25:42,409 --> 01:25:44,810 ♪ Oh, it's a combination ♪ 1321 01:25:44,812 --> 01:25:47,880 ♪ Of a voracious appetite ♪ 1322 01:25:47,882 --> 01:25:50,650 ♪ But knowing the sensation ♪ 1323 01:25:50,652 --> 01:25:54,420 ♪ Won't stop the urge to bite ♪ 1324 01:25:54,422 --> 01:25:58,257 ♪ Sometimes I just do it all ♪ 1325 01:25:58,259 --> 01:26:02,995 ♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation when I move ♪ 1326 01:26:04,831 --> 01:26:08,233 ♪ A moving violation when I move ♪ 1327 01:26:08,235 --> 01:26:10,135 ♪ Watch me! ♪ 1328 01:26:10,137 --> 01:26:13,706 ♪ Pure acceleration when I choose ♪ 1329 01:26:13,708 --> 01:26:15,875 ♪ Watch me! ♪ 1330 01:26:15,877 --> 01:26:20,512 ♪ A moving violation- lation-lation-lation ♪ 1331 01:26:31,391 --> 01:26:35,795 ♪ Sometimes I wonder why ♪ 1332 01:26:37,064 --> 01:26:42,001 ♪ I can't help but fantasize ♪ 1333 01:26:42,003 --> 01:26:44,637 ♪ I must need it way too much ♪ 1334 01:26:44,639 --> 01:26:47,239 ♪ It's the reason to get touched ♪ 1335 01:26:47,241 --> 01:26:52,411 ♪ But I come down just to get up ♪ 1336 01:26:52,413 --> 01:26:55,715 ( Vocalizing ) 1337 01:27:01,755 --> 01:27:05,625 ♪ Sometimes I just do it all ♪ 1338 01:27:05,627 --> 01:27:10,195 ♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation when I move ♪ 1339 01:27:12,232 --> 01:27:15,668 ♪ A moving violation when I move ♪ 1340 01:27:15,670 --> 01:27:17,637 ♪ Watch me! ♪ 1341 01:27:17,639 --> 01:27:21,173 ♪ Pure acceleration when I choose ♪ 1342 01:27:21,175 --> 01:27:23,275 ♪ Watch me! ♪ 1343 01:27:23,277 --> 01:27:27,146 ♪ A moving violation- lation-lation-lation ♪ 1344 01:27:38,892 --> 01:27:43,295 ♪ Sometimes I wonder why ♪ 1345 01:27:44,564 --> 01:27:49,501 ♪ I can't help but fantasize ♪ 1346 01:27:49,503 --> 01:27:52,138 ♪ I must need it way too much ♪ 1347 01:27:52,140 --> 01:27:54,740 ♪ It's the reason to get touched ♪ 1348 01:27:54,742 --> 01:28:00,079 ♪ But I come down just to get up ♪ 1349 01:28:03,016 --> 01:28:05,885 ( Vocalizing ) 1350 01:28:08,021 --> 01:28:12,024 ♪ There's a feeling that I can't pull back ♪ 1351 01:28:13,860 --> 01:28:17,329 ♪ I can't sit and I can't stand ♪ 1352 01:28:19,099 --> 01:28:23,135 ♪ And the things I want, I just go get ♪ 1353 01:28:24,604 --> 01:28:27,006 ♪ Oh, it's a combination ♪ 1354 01:28:27,008 --> 01:28:30,076 ♪ Of a voracious appetite ♪ 1355 01:28:30,078 --> 01:28:32,845 ♪ But knowing the sensation ♪ 1356 01:28:32,847 --> 01:28:36,515 ♪ Won't stop the urge to bite ♪ 1357 01:28:36,517 --> 01:28:40,019 ♪ Sometimes I break through the wall ♪ 1358 01:28:42,288 --> 01:28:45,991 ♪ Sometimes I just do it all ♪ 1359 01:28:45,993 --> 01:28:50,896 ♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation when I move ♪ 1360 01:28:52,398 --> 01:28:55,801 ♪ A moving violation when I move ♪ 1361 01:28:55,803 --> 01:28:57,703 ♪ Watch me! ♪ 1362 01:28:57,705 --> 01:29:02,441 ♪ Pure acceleration when I choose, watch me! ♪ 1363 01:29:02,443 --> 01:29:07,346 ♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation when I move ♪ 1364 01:29:08,849 --> 01:29:12,251 ♪ A moving violation when I move ♪ 1365 01:29:12,253 --> 01:29:14,153 ♪ Watch me! ♪ 1366 01:29:14,155 --> 01:29:20,025 ♪ Pure acceleration when I choose, watch me! ♪ 1367 01:29:20,027 --> 01:29:24,163 ♪ A moving violation- lation-lation-lation ♪ 1368 01:29:24,165 --> 01:29:28,433 ♪ Moving, moving, a violation, moving, ha! ♪ 1369 01:29:28,435 --> 01:29:31,570 - ♪ Ooh, ohh! ♪ - ♪ Moving, moving ♪ 1370 01:29:31,572 --> 01:29:34,206 ♪ A violation, moving, ha! ♪ 1371 01:29:34,208 --> 01:29:37,076 - ♪ Watch me! ♪ - ♪ Moving, moving ♪ 1372 01:29:37,078 --> 01:29:39,544 ♪ A violation, moving, ha! ♪ 1373 01:29:39,546 --> 01:29:42,447 - ♪ Move! ♪ - ♪ Moving, moving ♪ 1374 01:29:42,449 --> 01:29:44,750 ♪ A violation, moving, ha! ♪ 1374 01:29:45,305 --> 01:29:51,270 Tired of streaming? 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