All language subtitles for Impastor - 02x07 - Ah-Men.FLEET.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

Previously on "Impastor"...

How come every time you save me
from someone, they end up dead?

Would you rather have
it the other way around?

- You ever seen this guy?
- No.

- I'm in love with you.
- Do you mean that?

And if I wasn't around,

- you'd be dead.
- How is that?

Guy with a gun to your head?

You shot him?

But how? What were you doing out there?

I saw that guy hit you and
throw you in the trunk,

so I followed you.

And then when he took
you into the woods,

I had to do something.

And you just happened to have a gun?

Ever since Kenny, I
kept one in the trunk.

Buddy: And you just
happened to be a great shot?

Alexa: I grew up
hunting with my dad.

[gunshot]

Alexa,

why didn't you tell me this before?

Can't you infer that part?

Maybe I could if I
knew what "infer" meant.

I had just shot a man.

I didn't know who he was
or why he wanted you dead.

Buddy, this is insane.

I still can't sleep thinking about it.

I have to know. Who was that guy I shot?

All right.

He was some right-wing religious nut

who hated the idea
of gays being pastors.

At least that's what he told me.

- A religious nut?
- Yes.

Then why didn't you go to the police?

Because I don't want the rest

of his hetero hit squad coming after me.

Buddy, do you really
expect me to believe that?

- Hi.
- Hey.

I forgot my knitting.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

Alexa just came by to borrow a...

an orange. Here you go.

- Oh, thanks.
- Sure.

Well, have a good night.

Well, that was weird.

Really weird.

Who comes by to borrow an orange?

[groovy rock music]

I couldn't stop thinking about

what Alexa had told me

and how she wasn't buying
what I had told her.

Hey, guys.

What are you doing?

Just pounding a tasty corn dog.

Buddy, how could you eat there?

They're antigay.

Well, I wasn't flaunting it.

These corn dog bigots are using

so-called religious grounds
to discriminate against us.

We're boycotting them until
they change their policy.

I told you all about this.

Russell, sometimes when it
looks like I'm listening to you,

I'm actually lost in prayer.

I won't apologize for that.

Well, now that you know,

you are gonna get rid of that, right?

[church organ stings]

- Dora?
- Hi.

Yes, uh, as you know, the election

for church president is next week,

and once again, I'm
leading in the polls.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, Alden.

You make the same joke every year.

Nobody ever runs against
you, so... ah-ha-ha!

Oh! People have run
against me in the past,

at their peril.

If you remember, my
last opponent vanished.

Glenn moved to Boise
to open a Krispy Kreme.

Well, that's your version.

Anyway, I'll be giving my
victory speech next Sunday,

so I'll need you to draw up a list

of all my accomplishments
over the last year.

Your accomplishments?

Like the rummage sale or
the drive for the homeless

or maybe the inter-faith breakfast,

which were all my ideas?

Which I authorized.

- Hey, Alexa.
- Sheriff Graham, hi.

You know, I'm so glad I ran into you.

I wanted to ask you about Ray Florez,

the now-deceased guy you said
you hadn't seen but you had.

How is it someone you
didn't know have your number

and texted you, "Car's
gone. You're next"?

I have no idea.

I guess I was his next
Lutheran Trinity target.

Ohh, okay. Oh, hey.

Can you pass me a couple sugars?

I've got a bit of a sweet tooth.

Oh, my goodness.

Where did you get those bruises?

Oh, these? They're nothing.

Well... uh...

looks like you have a matching set.

Well, okay.

Just between us,

I have an adventurous
side in the bedroom.

Ohh.

Get it, girl.

[calm church organ music]

Buddy: Finally...

a place where no
one will judge me.

- [door opens]
- Russell: Buddy?

Buddy?

- What's up?
- [door closes]

[sighs] We need to talk.

People are saying you
don't care about gay rights,

and it's getting very
hard to defend you.

Defend me?

I have been sheltering you
like a lioness with her cub,

but you haven't done one
thing for the gay community

since you got here.

I hooked up with Steve the mailman.

That was pretty gay.

No youth outreach program,
no LGBT fund raiser,

no gay-straight alliance
symposium, nothing.

You haven't even come to one
of our weekly coffee meet-ups.

There. That's the one!

I'll do the coffee thing!

We're talking like an hour, right?

[corn dog thuds]

[groovy rock music]

- Oh, Dora, hi.
- Hi.

- Can I ask you a favor?
- Shoot.

Although I probably
shouldn't be saying that

to someone who's packing heat.

[both laugh]

Um, you know, from what I hear,

you're pretty tapped into
things around this town.

Well, I have always felt you
can observe a lot by watching.

Mmm, well, that's great
because I really could use

some help on this Ray Florez case.

Ray Florez? Isn't he the guy

that burned Buddy's car?

You are tapped in. See, the thing is,

I have reason to believe
that Pastor Barlow

knows more about Ray's
death than he's letting on.

I'd like for you to find
out what you can for me.

So... so you want me to spy on Buddy?

Oh, no, no, no, just keep
your eyes and ears open,

particularly when he's around Alexa.

I'm sorry, Sheriff.

I'm just not comfortable with that.

Okay, I understand.

But if you do happen to hear something,

give me a call.

The sheriff is starting
to put the pieces together.

She noticed the bruises on my wrists

from where Ray tied me up.

- What did you tell her?
- [scoffs]

That I was adventurous in the bedroom.

How adventurous?

- Butt stuff?
- [scoffs]

In case she asks, we need
to have our stories straight.

Buddy, I have the bulletin that...

Oh... sorry for interrupting.

Okay, I'll just give
you two some privacy.

I need to know.

Are we in this together or not?

- Of course we are.
- Then no more bullshit!

- Who was that man I shot?
- [sighs]

It's the only way that I'll
ever be able to trust you.

[clears throat]

His name was Damien.

And he was a bad, bad dude.

You did the world a favor
by getting rid of him.

Why was he trying to kill you?

I owed him a lot of money.

From gambling.

Look, I thought I'd be able
to leave my debts in the past

and make a fresh start in
Ladner, but he found me.

And that's the truth.

You think that was impressive?

Watch this.

[duster squeaks]

You guys, guess who's
coming to Judson Theater.

"Thin Lizzy." Who's in?

Oh, I'm in.

Got my T-shirt from
their '97 world tour.

Buddy, "Thin Lizzy" is a one-woman show

about a girl with body issues.

Oh, then I'm out.

I'm not into skinny chicks.

Or any chicks.

Vaginas? No thanks.

Am I right?

- [laptop chimes]
- Ooh, look!

Our Corn Dog House boycott
just got another like.

That makes 17.

You know, if you want to take
down these corn dog jerks,

you need to go bigger than social media.

You gotta make some noise.

What do you mean? Like a protest?

- Sure.
- What a fantastic idea

from this active
leader of our community.

And that was just off
the top of my dome.

How 'bout we protest Corn
Dog House Sunday afternoon?

- both: Yeah!
- Okay.

Yeah, go get 'em, guys.

I mean, let's go get 'em, guys.

- [laughter]
- Yeah.

You're part of it.

[gasps]

You are breathtakingly beautiful.

- Thank you.
- Please.

- I thought we were going out.
- I thought we were staying in.

Tie goes to the man.

That's why we wear 'em.

As a symbol of who it goes to.

Oh.

And I just happen to have here...

Alden, can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Are you afraid to be
seen in public with me?

No, of course not.

It's okay. You can be honest.

Is it because of your wife?

Uh, my soon-to-be ex-wife.

And I'm not afraid of her... anymore.

Well, are you embarrassed by me?

What? No!

I... I'm crazy about you.

By damn, you're right.

It is time we show the
world we're a couple.

You know that cute, little
French bistro on Elm Street?

I hear they're tearing
that down to build condos.

Soon as I get the permit.

You know this guy?

His name's Kenny Banderas.

Isn't he the poor soul
who committed suicide?

Apparent suicide.

Turns out he and Ray
Florez were cellmates

way out there in Massachusetts.

Oh, small world.

I know!

Two men who have no
connection whatsoever

to the town of Ladner both
come here and wind up dead.

What are the odds?

I'd say roughly nine-to-one.

I know you have a connection to Ray

and Ray has a connection to Kenny.

I don't know how you and
Alexa have a connection

to poor, dead Kenny... yet.

Maybe we should pray on it.

[slow gospel music
starts and stops]

Mm-mm.

Oh, that reminds me.

I brought you a Bible for your desk.

There.

Now you look like a real pastor.

[playing soft church organ music]

[door opens]

[door closes]

[scattered indistinct murmuring]

[stops playing organ abruptly]

Holy sh... spirit.

[groovy rock music]

Hello there, Alden.

Oh.

And, uh, Ashlee, right?

Welcome to Ladner Trinity.

[whispers] Keep your mouth shut.

[whispers] First time
you ever wanted that.

Uh, I understand you and
the Pastor know each other.

Does he understand all our
conversations were confidential?

Oh, well, what little
conversation we had.

Well, I'm just happy to know
all my counseling paid off.

Yes. To see her kneeling before you,

her mouth open, ready to
receive the body of Christ,

it warmed my heart.

You've got some nerve.

Well, I should get going.

Bringing your little harlot to church.

Hi. The harlot's name is Ashlee.

For God's sake, you have
hemorrhoids older than her.

Not anymore.

I found a cream.

Now you're the only pain in my ass.

The sheriff knows Ray
and Kenny were cellmates.

What? Oh, God, Buddy.

- This is bad.
- Maybe not.

As long as there's no evidence

tracing us back to Kenny, we're fine.

The gun that I used to save you with

is the same one that was
used in the Boston robbery.

It is in my closet. It
is registered to Kenny.

Jesus, Alexa! People
usually keep a sweatshirt

from their ex-boyfriend, not a gun.

Lot of good a sweatshirt would
have done you out in the woods.

- We have to get rid of it.
- How?

We'll do it together tonight.

[sighs]

[suspenseful music]

Sheriff Graham? It's Dora Winston.

I think maybe we should talk.

[church bells toll]

- Dora!
- [gasps] Whoo!

[sighs]

Can you believe Alden?
Parading that hussy in front

of the whole congregation.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Hilva.

That must have been
really emotional for you.

It wasn't. I accept my marriage is over.

What I will not accept is
Alden and his teen lover

bringing down this church.

Bringing down the church? How?

Congregants are appalled
with his indecent behavior.

We could lose members.

Pearl, Maryanne, both of the Joyces.

Do you want me to talk to them?

Although I really only know
the Joyces from that time

we all carpooled to Quilt-A-Mania Four.

I want you to run for church president.

Me? You think that I could be president?

Why not? You've put in the years.

You know how things run.

I always thought you didn't like me.

- I don't.
- Oh, okay.

But I think you could win.

[groovy rock music]

Where's Buddy? We said
we were meeting at 2:00.

Don't worry. He said he'll be here.

He'll be here.

- [snoring]
- [knock at door]

Buddy? Do you have a minute?

I'm... I'm curious about
something I heard you say to Alexa.

What thing was that?

It just went something like, quote:

"We have to get rid of it.

We'll do it together tonight."

End quote.

Oh... that.

What was the thing you
needed to get rid of?

Dora... if I tell you something,

can I absolutely trust
you to keep it between us?

Of course.

The thing we're getting rid of...

is a ghost.

- A ghost?
- Yeah.

I know it sounds silly,

but Alexa believes
there's one in her store.

When she opens up in the morning,

she says there's clothes everywhere.

And she wants you to remove this ghost?

Well, who you gonna call?

Buddy, spirits from beyond
are nothing to trifle with.

Maybe I should go with you.

No, no, no, no.

Alexa swore me to secrecy.

Well, be firm, and don't
be afraid to call upon

the Archangel Michael to help guide

the lost soul to the light.

Yeah, I was gonna do that, for sure.

Ooh! And also, maybe you
should light some sage.

You know, just to burn off the
negative energy in the store.

Not a rookie.

all: Two, four, six, eight!

Your corn dogs are deep-fried in hate!

I know you think Buddy walks on water,

but he has to walk with us, right now.

He's here.

- Jeffrey, what's up?
- It's good to see you, Buddy.

- We weren't sure you'd make it.
- Oh, come on.

Being gay isn't all
rainbows and pecker play.

Gotta do the work.

So let's give this restaurant...

20 minutes of hell.

[all cheering]

- Hi.
- Hi.

So, what do you have for me?

Nothing. I'm sorry.

You wouldn't have called me
if you didn't have something.

Well, um, I thought I
did, but I was wrong.

Dora, withholding information
about a crime is a crime.

Did Pastor Barlow get to you?

- [scoffs]
- You shouldn't be protecting

someone involved in a murder.

You think that Buddy is involved?

Are you crazy?

He could never hurt anyone.

You know what?

This conversation is over.

Not until I say it's over.

All right, it's over.

all: Your corn dogs are yummy!

Your owner's a dummy!

Your corn dogs are yummy!

Your owner's a dummy!

Look! They're here.

[indistinct chatter]

- A news van?
- Yeah.

We took your advice to go bigger.

You're gonna be on TV.

Buddy: I knew a lot
of people in Portland,

people who thought I was dead
and knew I wasn't a pastor.

Hi, Karyn Lee. You
must be Pastor Barlow.

Thank you so much for doing this.

I knew you'd come through for us.

Rolling in five, four, three...

And we're rolling!

Hi, I'm Karyn Lee, and I'm here with...

Pastor, the camera is over here.

I'm here with Pastor
Jonathan Barlow as he protests

a conservative Christian
restaurant's antigay policies.

Now, Pastor...

[indistinct chatter]

What are you doing?

Uh, that's a... that's a good question.

[chuckles] Uh, but
the better question is,

what is Corn Dog House doing?

[overlapping agreements]

They're not serving food
to gay people like me.

- Yeah.
- But why the bag?

Because it shouldn't matter

what we look like or who we love.

Whether you're black,
white, gay, or straight,

we all deserve delicious
beef franks wrapped

in a sweet corn breading.

- Right.
- Right, guys?

- Right! Yeah!
- Right!

Buddy: Yeah.

And we're not taking these bags off

until Corn Dog House
changes its policies!

America, it's time to stop homophobia!

- Yes!
- Stop it!

Let's bag the hate once and for all!

- Yeah!
- Bag the hate!

all: Bag the hate!

- Bag the hate!
- [triumphant orchestral music]

Bag the hate! Bag the hate!

Bag the hate!

Alexa: Wow, #bagheads
is blowing up.

Corn Dog House says they're
reviewing their policies.

[suspenseful music]

Whoa! Easy on the corners.

I think someone's following us.

- Who would be following us?
- I don't know.

But I'm gonna lose him.

[siren wails]

God damn it.

We have a murder weapon in the car!

I know we have a murder
weapon in the car!

All right, let me do the talking.

License and registration.

Here you go.

Why were you trying to get
away from me, Mr. Barlow?

Pastor Barlow, and I thought
somebody was following me.

Why would someone be following you?

And what brings you all the
way out here from Ladner?

Oh, we're returning
from a prayer meeting.

- Is that so, ma'am?
- Mm-hmm.

You seem nervous... you got
something to be nervous about?

Like I said, we thought somebody...

I was talking to the lady.

Officer, we have something
in the car we shouldn't have.

No, we don't. No, we don't.

It's drugs. Marijuana.

You do know marijuana
is legal here in Oregon.

Really?

Oh, my God.

I'm from out of state,

so I thought I was in big trouble.

Well, you're not.

Well, maybe not with him,

but we're gonna have
a little chat, missy.

Drugs are wack.

[police radio chatter]

You two have a nice night now.

- Thank you, Officer.
- You too, Officer.

Thank you.

[jangle pop music]

Yes!

- [gasps]
- That was awesome!

Oh, my...

- You were awesome!
- Oh, my God!

My heart is racing a mile a minute.

Feel! Feel!

Oh, sh...

[both laughing]

♪ And when love
comes calling ♪

♪ You can't just run away ♪

[gasps and moans]

Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -