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Previously on "Impastor"...
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[gunshot]
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00:00:08,798 --> 00:00:10,184
I'm leaving you
4
00:00:10,209 --> 00:00:12,911
because I can't stand you.
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00:00:12,936 --> 00:00:15,054
You don't have the balls, Sparky.
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Is that right?
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Buddy, Ray says you have
an hour to get him his money
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00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,412
or he's gonna kill me.
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00:00:20,383 --> 00:00:21,549
[gunshot]
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Let's see what kind of hooligan
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00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:24,307
we're dealing with here, huh?
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[screams]
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00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,975
I'm telling you, I was this close
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00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,012
to crushin' his windpipe when he bit me!
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I just hope I didn't get
rabies from this cannibal.
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00:00:37,155 --> 00:00:39,538
Well, must be the same man
neither of us can identify
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00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:40,728
who burned my car.
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00:00:40,854 --> 00:00:41,963
Moving on.
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00:00:41,988 --> 00:00:44,166
Uh, now that Bishop Perkins is retiring,
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00:00:44,191 --> 00:00:47,326
we need to make his final
visit a memorable one.
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00:00:47,405 --> 00:00:50,239
- In a good way, Dora.
- Ugh.
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00:00:50,241 --> 00:00:51,874
Please just let it go, Alden.
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- Let what go?
- [laughs]
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The year was 2014.
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00:00:55,082 --> 00:00:57,713
The event: Bishop Perkins' annual visit.
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00:00:57,715 --> 00:00:59,115
What went wrong?
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00:00:59,117 --> 00:01:00,616
Everything.
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00:01:00,618 --> 00:01:02,585
Here we go, Bishop.
I made your favorite,
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00:01:02,587 --> 00:01:04,120
lemon Echinacea tea.
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00:01:04,122 --> 00:01:06,575
Oh, you shouldn't have
gone to all that trouble.
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00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,079
Oh, no, no trouble at all.
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And be sure to help yourself
to one of my world famous
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00:01:10,407 --> 00:01:11,312
"Apple Dora's."
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No thanks, I never liked them.
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What?
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00:01:14,711 --> 00:01:16,477
[screams]
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00:01:16,479 --> 00:01:18,780
[screams]
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That scalding hot water turned his sock
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into a blast furnace.
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When he took it off,
the skin came with it.
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They say you could hear his screams
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all the way to Pineville.
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It was an accident, okay?
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I just had a reaction to
his utter lack of taste
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in homemade fruit pastries.
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00:01:32,696 --> 00:01:34,569
The Bishop's only been
back once since then,
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- and Alden suggested...
- Ordered.
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That Dora keep her distance.
49
00:01:38,676 --> 00:01:41,669
But I have planned a musical
tribute for the Bishop
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that is sure to redeem
me from this unfortunate
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if not overblown incident.
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Jeez, I don't know how
any song can make up for
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00:01:49,913 --> 00:01:51,713
torching his tootsies.
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00:01:52,778 --> 00:01:53,526
But maybe.
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Pastor, we need to make
the Bishop's final weekend
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in Ladner flawless.
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I'm counting on you
to be the perfect host.
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Me? Pass.
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[chuckles] Buddy.
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00:02:02,559 --> 00:02:04,926
The Bishop always stays with
the pastor when he's in town.
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00:02:04,928 --> 00:02:06,297
A whole weekend?
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00:02:06,322 --> 00:02:08,640
There was no way he wouldn't
find out I was a fraud.
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00:02:08,905 --> 00:02:11,780
You know, a distinguished
guest like him shouldn't have to
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00:02:11,805 --> 00:02:12,735
deal with a roomie.
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I should clear out for a while.
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00:02:13,999 --> 00:02:15,123
Nonsense, no.
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The Bishop said specifically,
he needs to talk to you
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about some of the unorthodox things
you've been doing around here.
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00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,691
Well...
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I can't wait till he gets here.
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'Cause if I do, it's game over.
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[upbeat music]
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How could I possibly last
a weekend with the Bishop?
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Was it too late to pretend
I didn't speak English?
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[knocks]
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- Buenos dias.
- Morning, Pastor.
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00:02:40,797 --> 00:02:43,678
I was just in the neighborhood
and thought I'd stop by.
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00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,281
Well, my door is always open.
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00:02:46,649 --> 00:02:47,682
Evidently.
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00:02:47,684 --> 00:02:50,585
I was hoping you could
help me with something.
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00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,804
Do you know this man?
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00:02:52,990 --> 00:02:54,737
No, no I've never seen him before.
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00:02:54,762 --> 00:02:56,858
- Who is he?
- His name's Ray Florez.
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00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:59,194
Spent eight years in prison for arson.
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00:02:59,399 --> 00:03:01,930
We think he's the guy
who torched your car.
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00:03:02,168 --> 00:03:04,401
Great. Did you arrest him?
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00:03:04,426 --> 00:03:06,801
I didn't think it was
necessary since he's dead.
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00:03:06,914 --> 00:03:09,137
Dead? How?
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00:03:09,415 --> 00:03:11,522
Cause of death hasn't
been officially determined.
90
00:03:11,547 --> 00:03:13,602
But the bullet in his chest
probably had something
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00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,409
to do with it.
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00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,088
[sighs]
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00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,746
Poor soul.
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00:03:18,042 --> 00:03:19,604
Would you pray with me?
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00:03:20,751 --> 00:03:23,385
[gospel piano music]
96
00:03:23,387 --> 00:03:24,619
[hums]
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Amen.
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00:03:41,163 --> 00:03:44,234
Pastor, why do you think a
man who just got out of prison
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would drive across country to
threaten a church in Ladner?
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00:03:47,570 --> 00:03:48,877
I have no idea.
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00:03:48,879 --> 00:03:51,813
Well, if you think of
anything, give me a call.
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Will do.
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00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,183
- Thanks, Sheriff.
- Mmhmm.
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00:03:55,597 --> 00:03:58,286
You know, my daddy was a preacher.
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00:03:58,288 --> 00:04:01,323
I spent a lot of time
in pastors' studies.
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00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,505
And this is the first
one I've ever been in
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00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:05,514
that didn't have a Bible on the desk.
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Got it memorized.
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Oh, right.
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Once upon a time.
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00:04:13,737 --> 00:04:15,837
Okay, you guys, I cannot stress enough
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00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,873
how important it is that
we send Bishop Perkins off
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00:04:18,875 --> 00:04:21,076
with an amazing performance.
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00:04:21,078 --> 00:04:25,464
Yeah, or Dora could end up
in some real "hot water."
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00:04:25,489 --> 00:04:26,238
[all giggling]
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00:04:26,263 --> 00:04:27,636
Yes, Larry, we all know you're
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00:04:27,661 --> 00:04:29,928
the funniest crossing guard in Ladner.
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00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:34,068
Okay, okay, I'll stop "tea-zing" her.
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00:04:34,093 --> 00:04:35,323
[all giggling]
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00:04:35,325 --> 00:04:36,825
Ya burnt.
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00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:39,260
But not as bad as the Bishop's foot.
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00:04:39,262 --> 00:04:41,267
Oh, zing!
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00:04:41,292 --> 00:04:43,693
Larry, I will end you.
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Okay? I mean it.
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00:04:45,504 --> 00:04:47,701
I will take you and I will
put you at the end of this row
126
00:04:47,726 --> 00:04:49,559
and you will no longer be center choir.
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00:04:49,866 --> 00:04:52,278
Dora, I will handle this.
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00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:55,741
All right, we all know
this is Dora's last chance
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00:04:55,766 --> 00:04:59,481
to make up for her humiliating
assault of the Bishop.
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00:04:59,483 --> 00:05:01,049
So focus up!
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00:05:03,487 --> 00:05:04,598
Thank you, Russell.
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00:05:05,559 --> 00:05:06,825
Ray's dead?
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00:05:07,079 --> 00:05:08,567
Buddy, did you...
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00:05:08,879 --> 00:05:10,058
No!
135
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,626
Why would you even think that?
136
00:05:11,628 --> 00:05:12,827
Oh, because the Kenny thing.
137
00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:14,696
Yes, because of the Kenny thing!
138
00:05:14,698 --> 00:05:16,904
How come every time you
save me from someone,
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00:05:16,929 --> 00:05:18,338
they end up dead?
140
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:20,564
Would you rather have
it the other way around?
141
00:05:21,884 --> 00:05:24,372
If you didn't kill Ray, who did?
142
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,152
- I have no idea.
- This isn't good.
143
00:05:27,262 --> 00:05:29,726
If the Sheriff figures out
that Ray is connected to Kenny,
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00:05:29,751 --> 00:05:31,037
we could both be screwed.
145
00:05:31,062 --> 00:05:32,358
Well, she's not gonna
figure it out as long as we
146
00:05:32,383 --> 00:05:33,548
keep our story straight.
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00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:34,983
What did you tell her?
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00:05:34,985 --> 00:05:36,217
She showed me his picture.
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00:05:36,219 --> 00:05:37,468
I said I've never seen him before.
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00:05:37,493 --> 00:05:38,280
That's it.
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00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:39,872
As long as you say the
same thing, we're good.
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00:05:40,782 --> 00:05:43,057
Are you sure you're
telling me the whole truth?
153
00:05:43,421 --> 00:05:45,537
I swear on the Bible.
154
00:05:45,909 --> 00:05:49,330
And as your pastor, you
know that's like a big thing.
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00:05:52,869 --> 00:05:54,331
You guys okay with lemonade?
156
00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:55,614
Yes, that's fine.
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00:05:55,639 --> 00:05:58,627
Hurry it along, would
you, I want to talk to you.
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00:05:58,652 --> 00:06:00,642
Whatever the Bish was
gonna grill me about,
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I had to be prepared.
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Gentlemen, here we go.
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[sighs]
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00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,468
Oh, oh, oh, not that one.
163
00:06:09,493 --> 00:06:11,252
Put my thumb in it.
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00:06:11,254 --> 00:06:12,620
Here we are.
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00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,121
- Alden.
- Thank you.
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00:06:14,146 --> 00:06:17,292
So you're hanging up the
old bishop's uni, huh?
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00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:18,493
Yes.
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00:06:18,495 --> 00:06:21,963
It is time to pass the
baton to my successor.
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00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,569
Well, Heinrich Steuben is a fine man.
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00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:28,269
I'm sure he'll fill the
position with grace and dignity.
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00:06:28,271 --> 00:06:30,705
- Steuben's an ass.
- Never liked him.
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00:06:30,707 --> 00:06:32,676
We need someone to grow our church
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and lead us into the future.
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And that's why I am
recommending Pastor Barlow.
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00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:38,898
[both spit]
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00:06:38,923 --> 00:06:41,549
What? He's not qualified!
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00:06:41,574 --> 00:06:42,383
He's right, I'm not.
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00:06:42,385 --> 00:06:45,386
That kind of modesty is one
of the reasons I want you.
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00:06:45,411 --> 00:06:47,014
What other reason
could you possibly have?
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00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,376
You're young, you're progressive,
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00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:51,836
you've raised church attendance,
and you've increased donations.
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00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:53,161
He's gay!
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00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,837
Another plus. Thanks, Alden.
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00:06:55,862 --> 00:06:59,033
You're the perfect man
to be the spiritual leader
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00:06:59,035 --> 00:07:01,263
of this region's 87 churches.
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00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,605
I could barely fool one church,
187
00:07:03,607 --> 00:07:04,739
but 87?
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00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:06,341
No way.
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00:07:06,561 --> 00:07:08,527
I'm gonna need some more lemonade.
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00:07:15,794 --> 00:07:17,494
Hi, Sheriff.
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00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:18,662
Can I show you anything?
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00:07:18,664 --> 00:07:20,097
No, I'm just browsing.
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00:07:20,099 --> 00:07:22,899
But if you ever have a
95% off sale, let me know.
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00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,029
[chuckles]
195
00:07:24,054 --> 00:07:25,469
Oh, but hey, while I'm here,
196
00:07:25,716 --> 00:07:28,138
can you look at something for me?
197
00:07:28,296 --> 00:07:29,877
You ever seen this guy?
198
00:07:30,916 --> 00:07:33,210
- No.
- Hmm.
199
00:07:33,212 --> 00:07:34,945
I'm confused, because Alden Schmidt
200
00:07:34,947 --> 00:07:38,315
told me he definitely remembers
seeing this man in your store.
201
00:07:38,317 --> 00:07:39,116
Oh.
202
00:07:39,118 --> 00:07:40,684
Well, he's probably right.
203
00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:42,324
I get a lot of customers.
204
00:07:43,074 --> 00:07:44,695
Yeah, I can see that.
205
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,357
I noticed you have security cameras.
206
00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:49,799
Do you mind if I take
a look at the tapes?
207
00:07:49,910 --> 00:07:51,810
No, not at all.
208
00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:56,338
Uh, now that I have you alone,
209
00:07:56,363 --> 00:07:59,836
I'd like to talk to you about
my impending split with Hilva.
210
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:01,280
What about it?
211
00:08:01,305 --> 00:08:03,401
Well, I'd like you to
sanction the divorce.
212
00:08:03,426 --> 00:08:05,571
Your blessing would
ensure that my standing
213
00:08:05,596 --> 00:08:08,041
in the community remains tip-top.
214
00:08:08,066 --> 00:08:11,948
Divorce isn't something I
or the church take lightly.
215
00:08:12,170 --> 00:08:14,251
On what ground would I sanction it?
216
00:08:14,469 --> 00:08:16,202
You could declare Hilva a witch.
217
00:08:16,227 --> 00:08:17,398
Very few would dispute it.
218
00:08:17,854 --> 00:08:21,825
Alden, the church hasn't
done that in 300 years.
219
00:08:21,827 --> 00:08:23,960
So there is precedent.
220
00:08:25,108 --> 00:08:26,508
Hello, Bishop.
221
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,097
Welcome back to Ladner one last time.
222
00:08:29,122 --> 00:08:30,367
Thank you.
223
00:08:30,369 --> 00:08:32,348
I'll never forget this place.
224
00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:34,484
My lingering limp won't let me.
225
00:08:34,585 --> 00:08:36,440
[laughs nervously]
226
00:08:36,663 --> 00:08:38,443
You sure won't be easy to replace.
227
00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:40,631
Actually, I've already
chosen a successor.
228
00:08:40,656 --> 00:08:43,269
- You're not gonna believe this.
- Pastor Barlow.
229
00:08:43,294 --> 00:08:44,246
Buddy?
230
00:08:44,271 --> 00:08:46,817
O-M-G, he's a Lutheran rock star!
231
00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:48,258
Well, we really should be going.
232
00:08:48,283 --> 00:08:50,151
We don't want to be
late for our tee time.
233
00:08:50,176 --> 00:08:53,957
That's a golf tee, not the
tea you use as a weapon.
234
00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:55,192
[sighs]
235
00:08:55,394 --> 00:08:58,098
Buddy can't leave. He just got here.
236
00:08:58,402 --> 00:09:02,203
Dora, I feel if you love
someone, set him free.
237
00:09:02,228 --> 00:09:04,639
And then follow him to
whatever city he's in,
238
00:09:04,664 --> 00:09:06,685
buy a condo next door, and persist until
239
00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:08,247
he moves in with me.
240
00:09:09,763 --> 00:09:11,169
You gave her the security tape?
241
00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:12,257
I had to!
242
00:09:12,282 --> 00:09:14,656
If I didn't, it would
look too suspicious.
243
00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:18,322
Especially after I just lied
to her because you told me to.
244
00:09:18,347 --> 00:09:19,916
Great, now she's gonna know I lied too.
245
00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:21,118
[knocking on door]
246
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,119
man: Pastor?
247
00:09:22,279 --> 00:09:23,553
I got to go.
248
00:09:23,555 --> 00:09:25,245
Uh, just a second.
249
00:09:27,085 --> 00:09:28,584
Come in!
250
00:09:30,715 --> 00:09:33,830
I thought that we could have a little...
251
00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:36,367
- [coughs]
- Oh.
252
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,334
You caught me smoking marijuana.
253
00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:40,771
Something that's legal in Oregon,
254
00:09:40,796 --> 00:09:43,435
but not very bishop-like.
255
00:09:43,724 --> 00:09:46,276
Is this something you do often?
256
00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:49,144
Well, not too often for a pastor,
257
00:09:49,169 --> 00:09:52,365
but probably too often
to hold any higher office.
258
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:56,953
Well, on this matter, I
always like to turn to Genesis.
259
00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:58,588
Which album?
260
00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:00,357
Genesis 1:29.
261
00:10:00,546 --> 00:10:05,139
"God gives us every
seed-bearing plant to use."
262
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,230
As far as I'm concerned,
you have violated
263
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,833
neither His law, nor man's.
264
00:10:10,355 --> 00:10:11,377
What a relief.
265
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:14,344
Listen, you know, I get
that you are hesitant
266
00:10:14,369 --> 00:10:16,903
about this promotion, but, uh,
267
00:10:17,222 --> 00:10:18,462
I'd like to know why.
268
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:21,032
Because I don't feel I'm worthy.
269
00:10:21,057 --> 00:10:22,490
[burps]
270
00:10:24,519 --> 00:10:27,353
You think I felt worthy?
271
00:10:28,554 --> 00:10:29,820
You grow into it.
272
00:10:29,822 --> 00:10:31,910
Of course, there are downsides.
273
00:10:32,106 --> 00:10:34,061
Traveling all the time,
and you won't be able
274
00:10:34,086 --> 00:10:36,640
to perform as many
services as you do now.
275
00:10:36,665 --> 00:10:38,028
I'd miss that.
276
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:41,331
The perks of this job are sick.
277
00:10:41,497 --> 00:10:42,529
Ugh.
278
00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:48,104
The bishop's house in
Seattle... gorgeous.
279
00:10:48,294 --> 00:10:49,848
I get wined and dined.
280
00:10:49,873 --> 00:10:52,075
I play golf three times a week.
281
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,110
Concerts, trips, sporting events...
282
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:57,480
whatever I want, my flock provides it.
283
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,582
[chuckles]
284
00:10:58,814 --> 00:11:00,336
It's good to be the Bish, huh?
285
00:11:00,361 --> 00:11:04,020
I got four speeding tickets last year.
286
00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:06,923
Guess how many I paid?
287
00:11:06,925 --> 00:11:08,458
Zilch.
288
00:11:08,653 --> 00:11:12,696
Pretty hard not to speed
in a church-provided Beemer.
289
00:11:12,698 --> 00:11:14,130
5 or 7 Series?
290
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,532
Your call.
291
00:11:15,739 --> 00:11:18,068
There's only one rule you must follow:
292
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:21,649
always put the church first.
293
00:11:22,288 --> 00:11:23,726
You do that, and you pretty much
294
00:11:23,753 --> 00:11:26,289
can do whatever you want.
295
00:11:27,468 --> 00:11:29,132
You know what, Your Highness?
296
00:11:30,034 --> 00:11:31,882
I think I was born to be a bishop.
297
00:11:31,884 --> 00:11:34,818
[grandiose organ music]
298
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,874
"Farewell, Sweet Buddy," take four.
299
00:11:39,171 --> 00:11:42,359
Webster's defines "buddy"
as another word for friend,
300
00:11:42,361 --> 00:11:44,822
but you're so much more than that.
301
00:11:44,847 --> 00:11:47,875
B is for "best," which is what you are.
302
00:11:48,117 --> 00:11:49,788
U is for "us,"
303
00:11:49,813 --> 00:11:53,046
which now may never be.
304
00:11:53,975 --> 00:11:55,994
D is for...
305
00:11:58,171 --> 00:12:00,744
Dang! Why can't I get through this?
306
00:12:00,746 --> 00:12:02,612
[exhales]
307
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:05,667
"Farewell, Sweet, Buddy," take five.
308
00:12:06,691 --> 00:12:07,655
[knocking]
309
00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:12,656
Hiya.
310
00:12:12,658 --> 00:12:15,558
- Hey.
- I'm sorry to pop by so late.
311
00:12:15,763 --> 00:12:17,436
No problem. What's up?
312
00:12:17,461 --> 00:12:20,230
Well, I have something
that I want to read to you.
313
00:12:20,232 --> 00:12:23,033
"My calling is to serve
and my greatest love
314
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:25,068
is to help those in need."
315
00:12:25,195 --> 00:12:26,696
Know who wrote that?
316
00:12:27,422 --> 00:12:28,538
Abe Lincoln.
317
00:12:28,904 --> 00:12:30,622
- Kanye.
- You.
318
00:12:30,647 --> 00:12:33,143
In your application for this job.
319
00:12:33,262 --> 00:12:34,828
And I meant it.
320
00:12:34,907 --> 00:12:36,971
Then maybe you shouldn't be bishop.
321
00:12:37,753 --> 00:12:40,947
Buddy, my grandpa always used to say,
322
00:12:40,972 --> 00:12:42,963
"if you love baking pies, don't go into
323
00:12:42,988 --> 00:12:44,399
the pie-baking business."
324
00:12:44,424 --> 00:12:46,056
Was he a little...
325
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,023
off?
326
00:12:47,025 --> 00:12:48,258
Oh, total bonkers.
327
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:49,974
But I think what he
was trying to say is,
328
00:12:49,999 --> 00:12:52,223
you'll be so busy doing business
stuff that you won't have time
329
00:12:52,248 --> 00:12:54,245
for the things that you actually love.
330
00:12:54,421 --> 00:12:56,378
Like teaching Bible study
331
00:12:56,403 --> 00:12:59,703
or counseling church
members or visiting the sick.
332
00:13:00,035 --> 00:13:01,705
Look, Dora, my hands are tied.
333
00:13:01,730 --> 00:13:03,033
It's the Bishop's call.
334
00:13:03,058 --> 00:13:04,971
And on the bright side,
most of those sick people
335
00:13:04,996 --> 00:13:07,462
will be gone soon anyway,
so they won't miss me.
336
00:13:08,423 --> 00:13:09,746
But I will.
337
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,181
But they won't.
338
00:13:15,114 --> 00:13:18,222
So you're telling me this is
the same guy in both pictures?
339
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:20,577
I don't see it.
340
00:13:20,602 --> 00:13:22,336
Mm-hmm?
341
00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:24,728
So what were you two talking about?
342
00:13:25,126 --> 00:13:27,148
I think he came in
to ask for directions.
343
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,366
Did you talk to him after that?
344
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:30,667
No, I did not.
345
00:13:30,725 --> 00:13:32,092
Now, I really have to get going...
346
00:13:32,117 --> 00:13:33,583
Just one more question.
347
00:13:34,003 --> 00:13:36,539
Can you explain these phone records?
348
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,418
Huh, looks like he
has an unlimited plan.
349
00:13:44,004 --> 00:13:45,882
Still gettin' screwed
on the data, though.
350
00:13:46,139 --> 00:13:48,204
According to this,
you spoke to Ray Florez
351
00:13:48,229 --> 00:13:50,129
three times the day he was murdered.
352
00:13:52,823 --> 00:13:57,060
Oh, this must be the same guy
who made the phone threats.
353
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,201
Yeah, he called me
about burning the church,
354
00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:01,731
so I counseled him to
be a better Christian.
355
00:14:02,061 --> 00:14:04,153
And then he torched your car.
356
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,018
I didn't say I was good at it.
357
00:14:06,885 --> 00:14:10,907
You know, someone might
think that this was
358
00:14:10,909 --> 00:14:12,530
personal between you two.
359
00:14:12,555 --> 00:14:14,488
That he pushed you too
far and you took matters
360
00:14:14,513 --> 00:14:15,912
into your own hands.
361
00:14:16,281 --> 00:14:17,787
Are you accusing me of something?
362
00:14:17,812 --> 00:14:19,631
Are you afraid I'm
accusing you of something?
363
00:14:19,656 --> 00:14:22,085
Are you afraid I'm not afraid
of you accusing me of something?
364
00:14:22,087 --> 00:14:24,254
Are you afr... never mind.
365
00:14:24,482 --> 00:14:25,814
I won.
366
00:14:31,032 --> 00:14:34,210
Uh, I was wondering if
you had given any thought
367
00:14:34,235 --> 00:14:38,137
to my request regarding, uh, the D word.
368
00:14:38,139 --> 00:14:39,972
I have.
369
00:14:40,036 --> 00:14:42,237
Alden, you hold considerable influence
370
00:14:42,262 --> 00:14:46,300
over our more conservative,
stodgy, inflexible members.
371
00:14:46,347 --> 00:14:47,880
Oh, thank you.
372
00:14:47,882 --> 00:14:49,554
And I would like you
to use that influence
373
00:14:49,579 --> 00:14:52,947
in backing my selection as
Pastor Barlow for bishop.
374
00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:55,555
Gabriel, the man is as lightweight
375
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:58,280
as my Members Only jacket.
376
00:14:58,407 --> 00:15:01,375
But in turn, you would
sanction my divorce?
377
00:15:01,377 --> 00:15:02,692
It would be unethical for me
378
00:15:02,717 --> 00:15:05,671
to trade one for the other, but yes.
379
00:15:06,519 --> 00:15:08,219
Hey, sorry I'm late.
380
00:15:08,380 --> 00:15:09,884
Bishop. Have you seen Alexa?
381
00:15:09,886 --> 00:15:11,886
Pastor Barlow, I just
want you to know you have
382
00:15:11,888 --> 00:15:14,455
my full support for bishop.
383
00:15:14,457 --> 00:15:15,689
- Really?
- Yeah.
384
00:15:15,764 --> 00:15:17,629
You seemed pretty against it yesterday.
385
00:15:17,654 --> 00:15:18,792
Changed my mind.
386
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:20,661
Yeah, so let me know
if you need anything.
387
00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:22,426
Anything at all.
388
00:15:22,451 --> 00:15:26,242
Well, uh, I did notice a new
set of golf clubs in your trunk.
389
00:15:26,267 --> 00:15:28,393
You... you want my golf clubs?
390
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:31,142
He wants your golf clubs, Alden.
391
00:15:31,647 --> 00:15:33,887
I... I haven't used them yet.
392
00:15:33,912 --> 00:15:35,077
Oh, even better.
393
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,954
I can break 'em in. Thanks, pal.
394
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,582
Alexa, hey.
395
00:15:41,584 --> 00:15:42,850
I'm outside. Are you in the church?
396
00:15:42,852 --> 00:15:44,627
Hi, Mom, I can't talk now.
397
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:45,753
I'm here with the Sheriff.
398
00:15:45,755 --> 00:15:47,454
I told her Ray was
asking for directions.
399
00:15:47,949 --> 00:15:49,445
No, I am not in trouble.
400
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,358
I just ran into her
on the way to church.
401
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,755
Love you.
402
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,012
[chuckles]
403
00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:56,844
Buddy, here.
404
00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:58,632
It's everything I want to say.
405
00:15:58,634 --> 00:16:00,701
Don't open it till you
get to your new job.
406
00:16:02,981 --> 00:16:04,405
Why does it smell so salty?
407
00:16:04,493 --> 00:16:06,340
I sealed it with my tears.
408
00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:08,375
And it fell into my aquarium.
409
00:16:13,079 --> 00:16:15,616
And while all human life is precious,
410
00:16:15,618 --> 00:16:18,786
we can also be thankful
that the Lutheran hater
411
00:16:18,788 --> 00:16:20,788
who terrorized our church
412
00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:23,330
is no longer with us.
413
00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:26,648
On a more positive note,
to close this service,
414
00:16:26,673 --> 00:16:28,829
here's our musical
director, Dora Winston,
415
00:16:28,831 --> 00:16:31,829
with a special tribute to our beloved
416
00:16:31,854 --> 00:16:33,264
Bishop Perkins.
417
00:16:37,607 --> 00:16:39,673
[organ music]
418
00:16:39,675 --> 00:16:42,109
I'm sorry, I just...
I need to say something.
419
00:16:42,111 --> 00:16:44,135
Can it wait till after my solo?
420
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:48,070
Bishop Perkins, I know
that you want Pastor Barlow
421
00:16:48,095 --> 00:16:51,677
to succeed you and I think
that he would do a great job.
422
00:16:53,422 --> 00:16:55,055
But you're making a mistake.
423
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:58,759
I don't think you realize
how much Pastor Barlow means
424
00:16:58,761 --> 00:17:00,448
to this congregation.
425
00:17:00,473 --> 00:17:03,263
How much better he's made
things since he's been here.
426
00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:05,132
How much we love him.
427
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:08,068
I know you're thinking about
what's best for the church,
428
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:11,205
but what about what's best
for this church, huh?
429
00:17:11,207 --> 00:17:13,574
I mean, did you ever even consider that?
430
00:17:13,576 --> 00:17:16,010
We are the ones that
took a chance on him
431
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,219
and he is the best thing
that ever happened to us
432
00:17:19,244 --> 00:17:20,661
and, frankly, we need him here
433
00:17:20,686 --> 00:17:23,450
and you can't just take
him away, God damn it!
434
00:17:23,452 --> 00:17:25,019
[all gasp]
435
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:33,833
[saxophone melody]
436
00:17:40,883 --> 00:17:41,949
Bishop.
437
00:17:41,951 --> 00:17:42,749
Listen.
438
00:17:42,914 --> 00:17:44,514
About the GD bomb...
439
00:17:44,656 --> 00:17:45,686
I'm so sorry.
440
00:17:45,688 --> 00:17:47,688
Oh, there's no need to apologize.
441
00:17:47,878 --> 00:17:50,224
Some things are beyond your control.
442
00:17:50,550 --> 00:17:54,194
Good, so my bishop train's
still running on schedule?
443
00:17:54,196 --> 00:17:56,196
It will be as soon as you relieve Dora
444
00:17:56,198 --> 00:17:57,364
of her church duties.
445
00:17:57,366 --> 00:17:59,433
What? You want me to fire her?
446
00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:03,036
Language like that cannot be
tolerated in the Lord's house.
447
00:18:03,307 --> 00:18:04,929
As the leader of this congregation,
448
00:18:04,954 --> 00:18:08,075
it is your responsibility
to set a strong example.
449
00:18:08,178 --> 00:18:10,078
Bishop Perkins, I am so sorry.
450
00:18:10,103 --> 00:18:12,679
I did not mean to take
the Lord's name in vain.
451
00:18:12,908 --> 00:18:14,481
I tried to save it with my sax solo,
452
00:18:14,483 --> 00:18:16,111
but that was a tall order.
453
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,250
I think people liked it though, right?
454
00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:19,520
Pastor?
455
00:18:19,522 --> 00:18:22,556
[tense music]
456
00:18:25,131 --> 00:18:26,693
I couldn't let Dora down,
457
00:18:26,695 --> 00:18:28,462
but I really needed to
move away from here.
458
00:18:28,813 --> 00:18:29,874
Maybe I could do both.
459
00:18:29,899 --> 00:18:32,498
At times like these, I ask myself:
460
00:18:32,523 --> 00:18:34,006
What would Jesus do?
461
00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:36,706
And one thing he was known for,
I'm guessing, is forgiveness.
462
00:18:36,731 --> 00:18:39,617
So, like Jesus, I'm not
only gonna forgive Dora;
463
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,319
I'm gonna ask her to come
with me when I become bishop.
464
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:47,048
Pastor Barlow, I respect your decision,
465
00:18:47,938 --> 00:18:50,050
but you did not put the church first.
466
00:18:50,539 --> 00:18:51,474
Your clubs.
467
00:18:51,499 --> 00:18:53,866
I'm sorry, you cannot be bishop.
468
00:18:53,891 --> 00:18:55,140
My clubs.
469
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,315
Bish...
470
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:02,054
Buddy, I'm so sorry you
don't get to be bishop,
471
00:19:03,086 --> 00:19:05,061
but I sure am glad you're staying.
472
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:07,067
- Bring it in.
- [chuckles]
473
00:19:07,069 --> 00:19:09,136
[upbeat music]
474
00:19:09,138 --> 00:19:10,676
I'm glad too.
475
00:19:11,742 --> 00:19:13,423
Oh, I'm gonna need that envelope back.
476
00:19:13,448 --> 00:19:15,786
Unless, of course, you want
to keep it to truly understand
477
00:19:15,811 --> 00:19:17,550
- how deeply and pass...
- Here you go.
478
00:19:19,581 --> 00:19:20,614
Thank you.
479
00:19:21,847 --> 00:19:22,980
[knocking]
480
00:19:30,355 --> 00:19:32,476
The Sheriff didn't
buy the "Ray was asking
481
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:33,585
for directions" story.
482
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:35,045
She said people always point
483
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,401
when they're looking for directions.
484
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:37,989
Why didn't you point?
485
00:19:38,014 --> 00:19:39,694
Because I wasn't giving directions.
486
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:41,858
Look, she surprised me, so I
had to come up with something.
487
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:43,658
Yeah, well every time you
come up with something,
488
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,015
it makes me look like a liar.
489
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,972
Whoa, slow down.
490
00:19:46,997 --> 00:19:49,195
- Relax.
- Easy for you to say.
491
00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:50,865
You weren't involved in a bank robbery.
492
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,190
She doesn't have anything concrete.
493
00:19:52,215 --> 00:19:53,696
We just have to stay the course.
494
00:19:53,721 --> 00:19:55,181
If she ties Ray to Kenny,
495
00:19:55,206 --> 00:19:58,663
it is only a matter of time
before I lose everything.
496
00:19:58,688 --> 00:19:59,393
That's not gonna happen.
497
00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:01,132
Nobody knows you're connected to Kenny.
498
00:20:01,157 --> 00:20:03,004
- You do.
- Well, I'm not gonna say anything.
499
00:20:03,029 --> 00:20:06,093
- How can I trust that?
- Because I'm telling you.
500
00:20:06,118 --> 00:20:07,677
You have told me a lot of things
501
00:20:07,702 --> 00:20:09,638
that I have trouble believing.
502
00:20:09,663 --> 00:20:10,181
Alexa...
503
00:20:10,206 --> 00:20:12,960
As long as you are
around, I am in danger.
504
00:20:12,985 --> 00:20:13,975
Really?
505
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,767
If I wasn't around, you'd be dead.
506
00:20:17,268 --> 00:20:20,654
And if I wasn't around,
you'd be dead.
507
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:23,710
Really? How's that?
508
00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:25,712
The woods, Buddy.
509
00:20:26,068 --> 00:20:27,381
I could've let you die out there.
510
00:20:27,383 --> 00:20:28,849
[tense music]
511
00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:30,442
What are you talking about?
512
00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:32,463
You know what I'm talking about.
513
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,178
The guy with a gun to your head.
514
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,092
You shot him?
515
00:20:39,116 --> 00:20:44,116
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36633
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