Original subtitles

Bettencourt Schueller Foundation presents

A GoodPlanet Foundation prolect

With the participation of France Télévisions

A film by Yann Arthus-Bertrand

l remember...

my stepfather

would beat me with extension cords

and hangers,

pieces of wood and all kinds of stuff.

He would tell me: "lt hurt me more than you.

"l only did it, because l love you."

lt communicated the wrong message

to me about what love was.

So, for many years,

l thought that love was supposed to hurt.

l hurt everyone that l loved.

And l measured love

by how much pain someone would take from me.

And it wasn t until l came to ison, [ pr

an environment that is devoid of love,

that l began to have some understanding

about what it actually was and was not.

l met someone.

She gave me my first real insight into what love was.

She saw past my condition

and the fact that l was in prison with a life sentence

for doing the worst kind of murder that a man can do:

murdering a woman and a child.

lt was Agnes,

the mother and grandmother of...

Patricia and Chris, that l murdered,

who gave me my best lesson about love.

By all rights, she should hate me.

[ But she didn t.

Over the course of time,

through the lourney that we took,

it has been pretty amazing,

she gave me love.

She taught me what it was.

l m ve happ when it ains, [ ry y r

when l drink milk

and l have a good life.

When l put on weight.

[ l m thin now.

When it rains,

l am very happy.

When l drink milk

and l eat everything l like.

And when l sleep with the man l love

who says sweet things to me.

And when l am in a nice hut

that protects me from the cold and rain.

Those are the things

that make me happy.

Happiness, for us,

would be...

having food,

a small piece of land

and a real place to live,

with electricity day and night.

We wouldn t have to slee [ p in the dark.

That would be happiness.

But we sleep on the floor,

without even a mat, on straw.

With electricity,

there would be light in m child en s lives. y r [

So,

as l had

a difficult childhood without any money,

when l went to university,

l got a grant

and l bought myself a motorbike.

Brand-new!

l was the first person to start it up.

l was the first person to get on it

to go home.

When l feel the wind

whipping me as l ride along,

[ knowing that l m not

[ r on someone elses moto bike.

lts m ve own moto bike. [ y ry r

l arrived home,

and to get to sleep,

l put the bike in my bedroom

and l locked myself in with it.

That way, l could smell

the hot engine.

The smell of the engine,

the new bike smell.

And when l turned the light on,

l could see it was my very own bike.

l couldn t ut the bike [ p

on the bed, under the covers,

[ but its what l wanted to do.

Yes...

l felt it. Yes.

That was a moment of great happiness for me.

Happiness

is the children coming home.

Thats a mothe s ha iness. [ r[ pp

lts when m husband [ y comes home, smiles,

and kisses me, after 33 years of married life.

Thats a woman s ha iness. [ [ pp

Happiness is hearing

my grandchildren saying: "Grandma!"

When they say that, you feel older,

but thats ha iness, too. [ pp

[ lts also meeting colleagues

who are happy to see you.

They think:

" [ r [ " Shes he e, lets talk.

Thats ha iness, too. [ pp

[ r lts getting up in the mo ning

and not hurting anywhere.

Thats ha iness, too. [ pp

lts the ain which is the omise [ r pr of a good harvest.

There are many kinds of happiness,

but at the same time, the es onl one: r [ y

ou e alive, so ou e happ. y [r y [r y

lust my experiences from being in a wheelchair

and traveling the world in a wheelchair

[ r r lve seen life f om a diffe ent angle

[ and thats taught me on a spiritual level

to lust accept and to be happy,

r[ whateve s coming next.

l m so mentall st ong. [ y r

The only reason is because of losing my legs physically.

M e esights sha pe, m ea s a e... y y [ r r y r r

l can hear much better.

So, thats on a h sical sense, but [ p y

l feel lm luck, as in [ y

l don t anal e [ yz or question life too much.

l can cruise through life

and always be in the right place at the right time.

l always have amazing things happen to me.

l m eall luck in that situation. [ r y y

But that comes from believing in luck

or believing in the power of attraction

or believing in

attracting the goodness [ into ones life.

And l think

that can be seen as luck.

So, if God Himself

lumped down in front of me right now and said to me:

B uno, l ll give ou back ou legs, " r [ y y r

but l ll take awa all that " [ y ou ve lea ned in the last 13 ea s. y [ r y r "

l ll tell God: Kee ou legs. [ " p y r "

We didn t use to die like toda. [ y

We lived in peace.

r [ Ou fighting didn t kill us.

There was only one gun per village.

What decimates us is the Kalashnikov.

Before, we only died from sickness and disease.

A few people died:

a sick person, an old man, a baby.

Only the weak.

The victims of the Kalashnikov

are countless.

Our fighting is degenerating.

3 men die from one shot.

Yesterday, people died.

We didn t bu them. [ ry

Maybe animals ate them.

That weapon is bad.

lt deprives the young generation and the country

of peace.

As soon as l took up arms,

l felt fear.

Fear is a human feeling.

l was afraid of blood.

When l took up arms,

l went from being a teacher to a man of arms.

l had no choice.

l saw and experienced things which forced me to do it.

Sometimes my son asks me, because it worries him:

"Dad, why this war? ls there no end to it?

"Why do you kill the soldier?

Doesn t the soldie have a famil " [ r y

"waiting for him, lust like us?"

l say to him: "H [ r [r r " es w ong and we e ight.

"Why, Dad?"

l say: "He kills families and children.

"He destroys mosques.

"We defend all that."

We always try to be clear to the children.

We tell them that we took up arms,

because we had to, not because we wanted to.

[ l don t like having blood on my hands...

or the idea that l killed someone.

Nobody likes that.

l m not af aid of death. [ r

l m not af aid if its fo S ia. [ r [ r yr

l m not af aid if its fo m fathe. [ r [ r y r

[ lf he wasn t dead, l would be afraid of death.

[ r r But l m no longe af aid.

Even if my throat is cut or l get blown up.

What matters is loining my father

or going back to Syria.

During the genocide...

l was separated from my parents

and l lived alone

in the sorghum fields.

l spent at least two weeks there.

Then,

someone took me.

She asked me who l was.

But as l was very little,

[ l couldn t distinguish between Hutus and Tutsis.

l didn t eall know. [ r y

She looked at me and started touching

my fingers, my skin.

She told me l was a Tutsi

or mixed race.

She told people to shoot me,

to eliminate me.

l asked why,

[ r what ld done w ong.

After that,

there was a lot of shooting.

l ran away.

All along the way,

there were corpses and blood.

Then l sat down and asked God

that His will be done.

l was lucky to survive.

l went home.

The door was smashed in.

ln front, there was a hole

where a shell had fallen.

l went in and found my father lying there.

l saw my brothers too, behind him.

My father had opened the door to them.

He told them

there were no combatants.

They told him to step forward.

My mother and brothers were lined up.

"loin them."

As soon as he moved, they started shooting.

He got a bullet in the back.

He fell.

They started shooting at my brothers.

At the time of the massacre,

in 1982, l was a young student.

l didn t hate an one, [ y l felt no hatred.

But that massacre made me question many things.

l asked myself:

"Who loves me? Who hates me?

"Why did this happen?"

l thought more about it

and all that brought about in me

a love of hatred,

a love of vengeance.

[ r Man isn t bo n with those feelings.

They grow over the course of your experiences.

Both love and hatred.

Would you forgive me if l kill your father or brother?

lf no law stands in my way?

lf your rights are scorned?

Would you forgive me

if ld killed ou b othe, [ y r r r father or mother?

No, certainly not.

No way.

l will never forgive.

Even if my head is cut off.

One evening, while in the reserves,

my unit had to stop a suicide attack

by capturing a terrorist

in a village near Nablus.

l deployed our forces.

To flush him out, we shot at the walls

as a demonstration of strength.

A woman came out of the house,

carrying a girl

and holding another by the hand.

lt was 3 AM.

The girl panicked and ran toward us.

l was af aid she d blow he self u. r [ r p

l yelled at her in Arabic to stop. She kept coming.

l fired above her head.

She stopped.

At that moment, time stood still.

lt was the shortest and the longest moment

of my life.

The girl remained alive.

And so did l.

But at the same time,

something died

in us both.

When a child is shot at,

it kills something inside.

[ l don t know what.

When an adult shoots at a child,

it kills something inside.

Something dies

and something else has to come to life.

l was ashamed of shooting at her.

A painful shame.

And above all, this sensation

of my finger

pressing the trigger

and shooting at the girl.

From this finger pressing the trigger

something had to come to life.

One of the most impactful things that will occur,

after being in combat,

is the feeling

of killing another human being.

Once ou ve ex e ienced it, y [ p r

ou ll see y [ that its not like an thing else [ y

that ou ve ex e ienced befo e. y [ p r r

And unfortunately,

that feeling,

your body will want to experience again.

lts eall difficult [ r y

to try to explain to somebody

[ what that feeling s like.

Right now, l still feel like experiencing

that again,

and its obabl wh l kee [ pr y y p

a loaded weapon in my house.

l yearn or desire for someone

to try to hurt me

or to break in

or to give me an excuse

to use that violence against somebody else again.

On the 16th of lanuary 2007,

an lsraeli border policeman shot and killed

my 10-year-old daughter, Abir,

in front of her school in Anath where l live.

She was with her sister and two friends.

9.30 in the morning.

ln her head in the back

from a distance of 15 to 20 meters

by a rubber bullet.

r [ r Abi wasn t a fighte.

She was lust

a child.

She didn t know an thing [ y about the conflict

and she was not part of this conflict.

Unfortunately, she lost her life

because she was a Palestinian.

[ r r l m an ls aeli who lost his daughte

to a suicide bombing

on the 4th of September 1997.

And l am a product of...

of an education system.

These are two societies at war.

They socialize the young generation

to make them able to sacrifice themselves when the time comes.

This is true to Palestinian society

and this is also true to lsraeli society.

Because we are human beings.

Sometimes you think:

"lf l kill the killer

"or anyone from the other side, from the lsraelis,

"or maybe ten,

"this will give me back my daughter."

No.

l ll cause anothe ain [ r p

and another victim to the others.

l decided to break this circle of violence

and blood and revenge

by stopping killing and supporting revenge,

by myself.

My definition of "sides"

has changed dramatically.

Today, on my side are

all those who want peace and are willing to pay the price of peace.

On the other side

are those who do not want peace

and are not willing to pay the price of peace.

Many people told me:

lts not ou ight " [ y r r to forgive in her name."

And the answer: its also not m ight [ y r

to seek revenge in her name.

l ho e shes satisfied. p [

l hope she rests in peace.

e es what ha ened: H r [ pp

a German officer

in an SS uniform

entered the ghetto

one rainy night.

My mother told him: "Take my daughter."

She lifted the wire fence

and handed him her baby, me,

a lewish girl 2 and a half years old.

And with a heavy heart,

she put me in the hands

of a wonderful man

in an SS uniform.

l now know that this man,

Aloïs Pleva,

served in the German army

and lived near the German border.

This man put me in his coat.

He hid me inside his coat

and took me

to the border between Germany and Poland

to his parents.

They passed me off as his daughter.

They raised me in the purest Catholic tradition

until the end of the war.

What a gesture!

What magic,

this outstretched hand!

Like sparks of light

in what we call human folly.

Sometimes a question comes to mind.

lf l had been

in a situation like that,

would l have acted in the same way

as that German officer?

How can l answer

such a question?

[ l don t think l would have had

the moral strength to do it,

in all honesty.

Maybe.

Did he know he had the strength?

How can you know?

How can you recognize

the moment of truth

when you can sacrifice yourself,

sacrifice the only life you have

for someone else?

r [ r The es no answe to that question.

Or a question

others can answer.

But this question must be asked.

Love is the beginning and the end.

Love is where we come from, r [r whe e we e going

and what we live between the two.

Love is everything.

Love.

The word love is full of meaning for me.

When you talk about love,

it encompasses everything.

Love encompasses everything, [ doesn t it?

Whe e the es no love, ou feel em t r r [ y p y

or rather, l feel empty.

Love...

Love is what fills the soul.

You have to take love one day at a time.

You live it every day.

Love is this feeling that you can

give

and that the other person gives you.

My wife has a strong character.

Shes the one who guides the famil. [ y

l love her a lot.

[ Shes magnificent.

lf ou don t make love, y [

your love will be a failure.

Do you hear? Why?

Through love comes sex.

Without sex, ou ll go w ong. y [ r

Your wife will ask herself:

"He gives me love, but not sex.

"Love, food, clothing, everything,

"but not sex.

"What can l do with this man?"

What will happen to our home? The home will collapse,

because after love must come sex.

And thats ultimatel [ y why love exists.

r r [ Othe wise, the es nothing.

Oh, wow! What a question to ask me...

lf lve had love s? [ r

To be honest, lve neve had an. [ r y

[ l haven t...

l went to parties,

[ but l didn t go to dances, because,

to tell you the truth, l never learned to dance.

r [ r l t ied, but it didn t wo k.

So, l gave up.

When you marry someone,

you marry them as they are.

At a given moment, you love them the way they are.

l had an accident.

l lost my arms and legs.

She didn t ma a gu [ rry y with no arms or legs.

But she stood it

for a number of years.

We ended up separating,

we got a divorce.

l had to start a new life.

lt took me 3 years to get over the break-up.

After 3 years, l said to myself:

ou can t sta on ou own! "Y [ y y r "

So, l signed up on the internet

to a dating site.

At first, l lust put a head shot.

The rest was a surprise.

[ r r l didn t show l had no a ms o legs.

l had fun on the net,

but when l told people about my handicap,

nobody answered me.

So, l announced my handicap

and one day, l met Suzanna.

There we are, love is possible.

Weve been togethe fo 8 ea s. [ r r y r

Suzanna has 3 girls, l have 2 boys.

We have a one-eyed dog,

4 cats, a guinea-pig.

lts one big econstituted famil. [ r y

An thing s ossible. y [ p

l found love again.

And we really love each other.

lve been ma ied to m husband [ rr y for 18 years now.

He has never said, "l love you,"

but l feel he does.

Sometimes, eyes speak more than mouths.

When l was younger, l wondered

how people could live together for so long,

without falling out of love.

l also couldn t imagine how eo le [ p p

could sleep in the same bed for 20 years.

l thought it would be boring. [ But its not!

Every day,

l think,

"Yesterday, my love was weaker.

Toda, its t ue love. " y [ r "

And then, a year goes by.

This love becomes even stronger.

When l go to bed at night,

l look at him and think,

if he died,

l could never replace him.

After being married for...

50 years, 49...

51 years.

My wife took seriously ill

lust before we celebrated

our 50th wedding anniversary.

And she suffered terribly

for about 2 years

as an invalid.

For the last 2 years of her life,

l was her nurse,

l was her doctor, l was her friend,

l was her lover, l was her husband.

Everybody wanted me to get

a full-time nurse, day and night,

and she begged me not to.

She only wanted me to look after her.

And l loved doing it for her.

And l did it by myself.

l carried her to the car,

l carried her oxygen tank,

her wheelchair.

l packed it in the car, l pushed her round,

l put it back, l took her home,

l bathed her, l put her to bed.

And l loved it

that l was able to do it for her

without anyone else.

And she appreciated it.

[ Thats love.

The magic moment that l had with my grandfather

was right after my grandmother died.

l went to go see him.

l knew that he was hurting,

[ r but l wasn t su e what kind of state he would be in.

And she was his partner 65 years

as well as his driver.

l said: "Grandpa...

"How are you doing?"

And he said: "Did you know that for 4 dollars,

"l can get a shuttle anywhere in the city?"

l said: Wow, thats g eat, G and a. " [ r r p "

He said: "Well, l went to the grocery store,

"l went to the woman behind the counter and said:

"l have this list of things. Could you help me find them?

"My wife has recently changed her residence to heaven."

And l said:

"Grandpa, man, you always help me see the glass as half full."

And he leaned back,

looked me in the eyes, and he said:

" [ " lts a beautiful glass.

When l was 12, l left

m g andpa ents house y r r [

because of abuse.

l went to live in the street.

lt was better for me to keep going

and try to become independent.

What l can never forgive

concerns my mother.

[ Selling me wasn t a good idea.

[r r r Because we e he child en

and she suffered, giving birth to us.

[ [ r r So, thats what l ll neve fo give.

The hardest moment

in my whole life

was m fathe s death. y r[

Because...

l don t want to c. [ ry

He supported me.

He would...

He would encourage me and my brothers.

l m not af aid of an thing an mo e, [ r y y r

[ r because lve been th ough many horrible things,

[ r and lve g own used to it.

And lm ha dl sca ed of an thing. [ r y r y

When they say to me:

We e going to hit ou. " [r y We ll kill ou. [ y "

l sa to them: No, l m not sca ed, y " [ r

"and if you do,

[ r " l won t be sca ed.

My father used to tell me

that it didn t matte if ou fell. [ r y

You lust had to get up again.

lf l fell, l had to get up again.

Always get up again.

That helps me a lot.

lf l lived in the past,

ld s end m time c ing, [ p y ry

[ r ld be bitte,

l wouldn t be f iendl. [ r y

You have to know

how to play and smile,

because living in the past is no use.

You have to live in the present.

Family, to me,

is a communion.

[ lts coming home

and being greeted:

lts good to have ou home! " [ y "

Helping my brothers

to do what l can already do,

because lm one of the elde s. [ r

Teaching them.

Seeing my father come home from work, satisfied,

sitting in his armchair,

and me making him a coffee.

That makes me feel good.

lt fills you up inside.

[ lf someones missing,

it feels like a hole in your heart.

"What the hell has happened?

"Where is he?"

Family is something

happy, remarkable.

[ lts something else.

lt fills you up.

When l was young,

l didn t think l was going to sta [ y

in the religious community

that l had loined.

And l su ose l didn t unde stand pp [ r

what l was actually doing

and that l was maybe making a decision

which meant [ r that l wouldn t have child en

and l wouldn t have a famil [ y

as other people had.

l don t eall think [ r y l understood that,

but later in life,

l had a sister who died

of cancer.

And when l saw her family,

l realized

that when l died, the e wouldn t be an bod... r [ y y

to mourn me the same way.

As time goes on, then you recognize

that you are a parent to other people

who you work with

or who are friends

or who are related to you in some way.

So, even though ou haven t ou own famil, y [ y r y

you have family.

So, l think thats im o tant to me. [ p r

My whole life, l wanted to have a son.

l already had daughters. l wanted a son

to support me, be my right-hand man.

My son brings me a lot,

lust in the way he looks at me.

When we[re doing odd lobs ...

l try to explain things to him.

l often say to him:

it is said...

that when God...

gave

this child to that family,

the angels asked: "Lord,

"why do You give a handicapped child to that family?

The live well. The e ha. " y y[r ppy

"Why do You impose such a burden on them?"

God replied:

"l chose them

"so that they may teach the child that l exist,

"that l am omnipresent,

"in the leaves and in the wind."

Thats what l tell m son. [ y

l say to him...

l tell him all the time...

l say to him: "Look, Alyosha.

" [ Thats a leaf.

"And those are flowers.

"All that makes up

"the happiness of life."

When l m with Al ocha in the evening, [ y

l say to him:

"Look, son,

those are stars!"

And he

sees them

and he looks at me

with adult eyes.

l get the impression

that he has a spirit

[ r r thats much st onge than mine.

lts m son who guides me. [ y

He guides the whole family.

Thats wh... [ y

now l understand

what love is

and the meaning of love.

Because to live together,

you must love yourself,

love your wife,

your children,

big and small.

You must love your family, your parents.

My parents are still alive.

You must love

all human beings

for what they are deep down

for only the love of people

can save the world.

No, l never thought about it.

[ l wouldn t have liked to be a man.

Because men have an easy life.

Too easy.

And easy lives are boring.

lts eas ofessionall, [ y pr y

maybe even easier to attain

their sentimental prey.

For women, everything is more difficult.

But there is also the appeal

of attaining your goals despite the difficulties.

Without question, l prefer

being a woman.

l feel powerless when, say,

a very small woman enters the store,

sees something high up and says to me:

"lf only a man could get that..."

Y [ ou don t have to be a man. lump up and grab it.

You have two hands. Why a man?

Whatever next?

lt makes me so angry.

l eall don t like it when women... r y [

l hate it when women are discriminated against.

Today, l feel free.

Because...

l can do lots of things

without rushing.

[ r Whats mo e,

[ r l m divo ced.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

l shouldn t sa that, should l? [ y

Sorry.

Do you want to do it again?

ls that OK?

[ l know l shouldn t laugh about it,

but l feel good, l feel free.

My husband has 2 wives.

H [ p y es ol gamous, he has 2 wives.

Here, in Senegal,

with polygamy,

some people have 4 wives.

Others have 3, or 2.

But some people only have 1 wife.

[ r lts thei choice.

Some even have 6, 7, 8, 9... as many as 10!

But my husband has 2 wives.

2 wives.

[ r l m the 1st, the othe is the 2nd.

We live in peace.

Shes m f iend. [ y r

She really loves me. And l love her.

Luckily, for us,

ol gam isn t ossible fo women. p y y [ p r

l say "luckily," because if my wife

loved another man besides me,

[ itd make things difficult.

lt d be ve com licated [ ry p

because l am extremely lealous.

Extremely lealous.

[ l couldn t stand

my wife spending the night

r [ r in anothe man s a ms

and then spend the next night with me.

l could never stand that.

So, luckily,

polygamy for women

isn t ossible in Bu kina Faso. [ p r

Because l lust couldn[t imagine it .

When l went and stayed with my...

wife at her house in San Francisco...

Shes not m wife, [ y

[ but the woman lm with.

This was about a week

after we started dating.

l woke up in the morning and l said:

"l ask this of you and this of you and this of you

and ou e hesitating. " y [r "

[ The woman lm with [ can t have a list of nos.

lts got to be ett much all eses [ pr y y

o we don t have a elationshi. r [ r p

And it took her about a month

after l pointed that out to her

to realize that these nos could not exist.

And so, thats how ve little shitt [ ry y my woman is.

Shes f eakin ve uni ue, [ r [ ry q very amazing.

She gives me...

Like, she was raised to adore her man.

Like old-school Mexican.

Know when to speak up.

[ That doesn t mean ou can t tell me something, y [

[ that doesn t mean [ l don t want guidance.

But in my household,

the man is the man of the house.

At home, on weekends, l do the cooking.

One day, a friend came to my house.

He said: "You do the cooking?"

l said: "Yes."

"ls your wife sick?"

" [ r " l said: No, shes esting.

"What? You do the cooking

"while your wife has a rest?"

"Yes, she needs rest."

He said: "My wife will never come visit you.

ou d ut ideas in he head. "Y [ p r

"When she comes home,

" [ " she ll ask me to cook too.

l said to him: "You must understand

"that they need to rest."

Anyway, l enloy

cooking for my family.

l m in ison, [ pr

because l had an abortion.

l couldn t have continued m studies [ y

because l was in a boarding school

and l didn t want to sto m studies. [ p y

ld have sto ed fo too long, [ pp r

with the pregnancy, the birth, breastfeeding,

[ r and l couldn t conside that.

So, l decided to have an abortion.

What pleases me today

is that lm getting out of ison [ pr tomorrow.

l ll continue m studies [ y

and work.

And ma be one da, l ll have a child. y y [

l[ll be lust like everyone else .

There is a way out of being abused.

For me, it was tough because

l used to have the worst abuse.

l would have a gun put to my head

and get told to go on my knees and beg for my life.

And l would do it. My kids used to be watching.

Or get put out of the house

and have to sleep outside on the steps.

lf l moved from there, [ ld get a hiding.

lt was tough, because l thought it was me.

l was the one that was doing something wrong

in our marriage.

l talked about my kids, the most important thing of my life.

l thought, [ r if l don t move on out of he e,

[ r l m eithe going to be dead

or my kids are going to be dead.

So, l need to move on.

l need to do something.

l went home that day " [ " and l said to him: l m leaving.

Mark got a bit of a shock,

[ r z because he didn t eali e that l was leaving.

H "Y [ r e said: ou ll neve leave me, you love me too much."

And l said: "Well, you know what?

" [ " Thats what love is about. Leaving.

l gave him two choices. l said to him:

"You either go for counseling, or l leave."

You know what? Toda, hes a bette man. y [ r

es neve lifted a hand u fo me H [ r p r since the day.

Thats about 9 ea s ago. [ y r

So, 9 years ago, l was still an abused woman.

l am gay.

[ [ r lve known lve liked gi ls ever since l was a little girl.

And l kept it a secret from my family.

l remember when Ellen DeGeneres, the TV host, came out,

it was the first time l ever heard of the word "gay" before.

My parents were talking about it.

l asked my dad: "Dad, what is gay?"

" [ r r r lts a gi l who likes anothe gi l and the e going to hell. y[r "

And so, l said: "OK."

l walked straight up to my room, closed the door

very quietly,

and then, l bawled my eyes out into my pillow.

And l prayed to God every day:

"Please let me like boys, please make me straight."

Because l knew l liked girls.

And so, l tried

pretending l liked boys, but l never did.

And then, l met

to me the love of my life.

And her name is len.

Gosh, she was lust... my world changed.

And l didn t eall ca e [ r y r about anything else.

l lust knew l wanted to be near her.

And that was love to me.

Being a lesbian is not a choice for me.

lts something that is inside ou... [ y

that noone can help.

[ r lts not cu able. lts not a disease actuall. [ y

Cause the alwa s sa we e sick. [ y y y [r

Our families r[ even take us to the docto s,

r [ to the ma abouts.

But it lust stays there.

l even had to

force myself with guys

to get m g ann s app oval. y r y[ r

r [ lt hu ts, cause

l had to do stuff

l eall, eall didn t want to do. r y r y [

Even though l did that...

l even asked a friend of mine

to etend as if hes m bo f iend. pr [ y y r

But that guy, what he did...

He forced himself to me

and then, he left me with HlV.

And that was in 2003.

l did all that lust to get my granny[s approval .

But now

l know that l don t have to do an thing [ y

to please someone else.

My parents were so afraid [ r ld emain a homosexual

that when l said l was changing,

they really believed it.

They asked me every day:

"OK, have you changed?"

As its not ossible to change, [ p

l pretended to ignore the question.

After a while, m fathe couldn t take an mo e. y r [ y r

He started yelling at me,

hitting me and saying:

l know ou haven t changed! " y [

"lf you bullshit me,

l ll make ou life hell. "[ y r

"Leave now if ou e eall like that. y [r r y "

[ So, l left. l didn t hesitate.

l left.

l have a son who s now 31 ea s old [ y r

who l love very much.

H [ y y es ga, a ga man.

The day that he came out was quite significant.

l knew that he was struggling with something.

H [ e d been suicidal

and he was 18 years old.

He said to me one day: Dad, lve got to tell ou something. " [ y "

And l said: "OK, son, tell me, what is it?"

He went pale, he really went white,

and he said: "l feel sick."

And my heart really went out to him.

At that moment, l kind of knew

that he was going to tell me he was gay

[ although l hadn t made that connection,

because he s uite masculine [ q in his traits.

At that moment, l had a sense [ thats what he was going to tell me.

So, l said to him: "Son, let me guess.

"Let me make it easier for you."

He said OK.

"Y [r l said: ou e going to tell me ou e ga, a en t ou? y [r y r [ y "

He went: "Yes, l am."

l lust really, really felt for him.

lt was such a struggle for him to tell me that.

Everything sort of made sense,

because he didn t want to be ga. [ y

And thats wh he d been suicidal. [ y [

l lust gave him a big hug and said: "l love you anyway, son.

lt doesn t make an diffe ence " [ y r to how much l love you."

And l think that

our relationship has really been a lot stronger since then.

[ So, thats been a lourney in itself.

lt was in 2009.

A friend, homosexual like me.

When this friend died,

he was buried

in his village cemetery.

But the local imam

gathered together the people,

the young people.

They went to the cemetery

to dig up the body.

They took it, tied it up,

and dragged it through the streets.

The media were there.

They filmed it.

The police came.

Afterwards, the family got the body back

and buried it again.

lt was dug up again. 3 times in all.

ln the end, the body was buried

in his fathe s a d. r[ y r

Because the Muslim religion says

that when ou e homosexual, y [r

if you die,

people can t p a fo ou, [ r y r y

the can t bu ou y [ ry y

in a Muslim cemetery.

Thats what the sa. [ y y

l m a ga man f om Lebanon. [ y r

We have no rights over there.

We have no rights in the Arab world in general.

l think what l can do more

[ r is what lve sta ted to do,

l think l should come out even more.

l am out to my parents.

l am out to my friends, l am out to my work,

but l think l want to encourage other people like me

who have nothing to lose.

Because l have a salary,

because my mum has proven with time,

it took time, that she ll love me an wa. [ y y

Now she knows, she knows my boyfriend.

She loves me for the way l am, my dad as well.

My friends as well.

l think if ou don t tell an one, y [ y

r [ the othe moms won t know that its OK to be ga. [ y

People should be less shy,

more daring when you have nothing to lose.

Some people have a lot to lose.

Those are not the people that should do the change,

but the ones that have nothing to lose.

ln lraq, one of my friends

was hit with a car bomb in front of me.

l chased after the triggerman with my squad,

with one of my teams.

And we were lust... we wanted to kill that guy.

[ r Cause l could hea my buddy screaming, he was hurt.

[r r And so, we e unning as fast as we can.

We[re lust full of hate and fury .

We lust want to do whatever we can to...

He hurt our friend, [r we e going to get him back.

We[re lust running as fast as we can , with all that weight.

lust sweat pouring off of us.

Through orange fields,

then we get to a clearing.

lt hit me. l mean, this blue sky.

There was an old man

in a white robe and a child.

lust tilling a field, you know, and that lust...

brought me back to reality.

"What am l doing?

"[ [ l m a human being, l m not...

"[ r r " l m not some inst ument of evenge.

[ [ l don t know. lts like, ou sto and ou e like... y p y [r

lust people doing

people things here, whe e lm su osed to... r [ pp

where all this violence is happening.

And ou sto and ou e like... y p y [r

l don t know, makes ou human again. [ y

l get up in the morning, go to the fields

to get my beans and my corn.

l see ripe beans and corn.

Oh, what loy!

When we get to the field,

we are so happy

that we almost want to lust stand there

[ as its so beautiful.

A field of corn or beans is beautiful.

And every time, it gives us

fresh heart.

At the moment, l have nothing at all.

l farm a small piece of land.

l plant some vegetables to eat.

My husband has lust gone to get his pay,

but its a tin amount. [ y

Apart from that, l have nothing at all.

There[s lust a hen at home .

lf she lays eggs,

l sell them at the market,

then l buy salt and things,

enough to survive each day.

l have no cattle.

l have nothing.

Yes, well,

l, Estima loseph, say

that my life is finished in this country.

The ain doesn t fall. r [

l can t plant an thing to ha vest [ y r

to feed my wife and children.

So, at the moment,

the es no mo e wood to cho r [ r p in the countryside

to earn money,

not even small branches

to make a bag of charcoal.

You can spend a day or two

without any food

for your children who are crying at your feet.

The es no one to tell ou: r [ - y

"My dear fellow, take this.

lts fo ou, " [ r y to help you in the country!"

We e l ing down, waiting fo death, [r y r

because what we call life is over.

You lie there,

ou ve nothing fo ou child en. y [ r y r r

Nothing to give them, nobody to help you.

You lie there and wait for death.

l call that "life finished".

Life is already finished.

Y [ ou don t have an animal to sell.

Yes.

Yes, life is completely finished.

Yes.

We had no harvest.

lt was so dry

that my husband had 2 wells dug

for 70,000 rupees each.

But as the didn t find an wate, y [ y r

the vines dried up

and we didn t have an g a es. [ y r p

l think that my husband

already had debts last year

which he couldn t e a. [ r p y

Now who should be paid back first?

l have no idea what to do.

The es no wate an whe e. r [ r y r

The e was a well, but its d. r [ ry

r [ r r The es no mo e wate.

So, how can the debts be repaid?

Thats wh he committed suicide. [ y

This year,

l was covering a very severe drought

in western Maharastra, in this country.

And on the one hand,

l was looking at people facing destitution

due to a water crisis.

On the other hand,

l was looking at multi-story buildings coming up

with a swimming pool

on every floor.

[r We e not talking about buildings with 3 or 4 floors.

There is a plan for 2 twin towers in Mumbai

even now under construction,

37 floors each,

which means there are 74 swimming pools.

[ r lts a twin towe.

And then, l went and looked at

who are the people doing the construction, these laborers.

All the laborers were landless laborers

and marginal farmers

who had left their villages

as refugees of the water crisis

and the e in the cities y[r

building our swimming pools.

The sheer humiliation of it,

the sheer inlustice of it!

l think the fastest growing sector in lndia

is not software or lT.

lt is inequality.

So, yeah, it makes me furious.

lt is completely unacceptable to me

to see how closely

the affluence of the few

is tied to the misery of the many.

Thats unacce table. [ p

World leaders,

help us have a decent life.

r [ r Othe wise we ll sta ve to death.

[ r lts the fault of the gove nment

and politicians

if we have nothing to wear,

nowhere to sleep, and nothing to cook.

We e d ing. [r y

Who knows if we ll still be alive tomo ow? [ rr

Who can say if we ll have an thing to eat? [ y

My children are dying.

We have nowhere to live,

not even a roof or a plot of land.

l go from village to village

to low othe eo les fields. p r p p [

And all this for what?

One day, we eat, the next, we have to starve.

But nobody listens to us.

r [ r The gove nment doesn t ca e about our problems.

The don t think y [ about us poor folk.

Only about themselves.

l left Pakistan

because of our living conditions.

lt was especially clear to my wife

that my income could not provide

for health care and schooling.

She sacrificed herself for me,

for my family.

l sacrificed myself and my family too

by allowing myself

to emigrate so l could at least

give my children an education

and health care

and meet all their basic needs.

l ll neve fo get the da l left. [ r r y

l was with a few friends.

My mother came out on the doorstep.

She was holding my son in her arms.

l was sitting in the car.

She put my son on my lap:

"Take a good look at him.

"Who knows when ou ll see him again? y [ "

[ r r l ll neve fo get that scene.

l can still see my child

as if he were right in front of me.

l left Sudan because the regime

[ wouldn t leave us alone.

Entire families were killed.

Everyone figured

we were doomed.

The main thing was that l was saved.

God spared me.

l arrived in France.

Thanks to God, at home, we were farmers.

And it was enough for us!

We had cattle.

We never lacked either money

or food.

Thanks to God, we lived well.

But the regime would not leave us alone.

They raped my sisters in front of me.

When my wife arrived,

they flogged her.

They raped her in front of me.

How could l live

in that country?

When l was in the boat,

l was very scared,

because l saw absolutely nothing, only the water.

And the boat also, its not a ualit boat. [ q y

We are 110 people inside the boat, nobody comfortable.

There was no food to eat, no water to drink.

You are sitting in that fuel.

lt destroyed all my body.

Things were hard for me.

So, when l see the ltalians,

they come and rescue us,

l thank God.

[ l know that now l m safe.

Europeans have their reasons

for limiting immigration.

We sta he e, but the es no wo k. y r r [ r

There are entire families

in which noone works.

lf ou can t fish, y [

you have nothing to do.

Thousands of Africans

die at sea, going to Europe.

[ r [ But its wo th it. l m leaving again.

For Spain or ltaly.

lve made u m mind. [ p y

lts in m blood to go. [ y

l ll go b canoe. [ y

l ll go, c ing. l ll go, shouting. [ ry [

[ Now lm living in the lungle of Calais.

The police come and disturb us:

"You have to leave the lungle."

l said: "Where l have to go?

"Show me the place. We want to go to that."

He said: "You have to go back to your country."

"Where is my country?

l don t have a count, man! " [ ry

" [ r lts a killing g ound,

its a g ound of killing the eo le, " [ r p p

" [ r its a g ound of fighting.

"lt is not a country!

"Afghanistan is not a country now!

" [ r " lts a killing g ound, man.

37 countries came to control that country,

but they cannot control these people.

The UN cannot control these people!

How can you send me back to that country?

l lost my family in that country.

How can l go back to that country?

l was a refugee in Pakistan,

a refugee in lran,

a refugee in Dubai.

l was a refugee in Turkey,

a refugee in Bulgaria,

a refugee in a European country, in Greece.

[ r r And now lm a efugee in F ance.

But let me live, man.

l don t want an thing f om ou. [ y r y

l don t want eating f om ou. [ r y

l don t want an thing f om ou. [ y r y

l don t need hel! [ p

But let me live.

Dad, here l am in ltaly.

l don t know how ou a e. [ y r

l don t know if ou can see me, [ y

but l m in ltal. [ y

l ll alwa s wo about ou, [ y rry y

you and the others, all my brothers and sisters,

and all my friends over there.

lf l make it here,

it ll be mainl fo ou. [ y r y

l ll think about ou [ y

till my last breath.

l don t have the means et, [ y

so pray for me.

l greet you all!

[ r r l m a Bangladeshi wo ke in the garment industry.

[ r l m out aged when a buyer comes to meet

the company owner or the marketing team

to negotiate the price of his order.

And when other countries slash prices,

our buyer will look for the best deal.

He could lust think:

"lf Bangladesh supplies me

"with good quality garments,

"why not pay a fair price?"

But weve alwa s been sco ned. [ y r

By everyone.

Not lust one person in particular.

lts the final consume [ r who steals from me.

What can l do about it?

What can...

How will we be happy?

How?

Many things are forbidden in the factory:

no talking,

no answering the phone.

To go to the bathroom,

we have to ask the supervisor

for permission,

and only one person at a time.

As for productivity, hes ve demanding. [ ry

The es an hou l quota to meet, r [ r y

[ its checked.

lf the uota isn t met, q [

they blame you

and often insult you.

[ r lts unbea able.

[r r r r We e unde constant p essu e.

l feel exhausted.

l can t take an mo e, [ y r

but l have no other choice.

r r [ r An honest wo ke isn t ich.

[ l m talking about someone who works in a company,

not the heir to the family business.

They lust luggle

millions in a company.

Those folk don t wo k. [ r

They sit at a desk and sign bits of paper.

They[re thieves lust like me .

l m su e of it. [ r

lf ou e talking about wo ke s, y [r r r

the e eo le y[r p p who get up every morning

and who do real work.

l don t know an ich folk. [ y r

But take my mother,

she got up every morning,

and shes ove 40 al ead. [ r r y

[ r Shes not ich.

Shes wo ked he whole life. [ r r

Losing my lob was a huge shock.

Not finding another

was an even bigger shock.

You know, l worked for 27 years.

When l had to

go back to live with my mother,

l mainly felt

humiliation.

A feeling...

of devastation.

l sank into a deep depression.

More and more.

l said to myself:

l m 47 and m life is ove? "[ y r

"Have l nothing else to offer?

"Nothing more?"

And these thoughts

stop you going out and talking.

You look at yourself in the mirror

and say: "Who are you, moron?

"What are you playing at?

"What are you doing in this life?

"Why are you breathing?

"Why do you see the sun?

"What makes you...

"any use in this mess you live in?

"Why, at 47,

"did you go back to live at ou mothe s? y r r[

"Were you afraid of being on the street?"

Y [ r es, lm sca ed of being on the street.

And this humiliation turns into rage.

Rage, because you want to let off steam,

and ou don t know how. y [

l am poor.

l will define poverty now.

What poverty means to me.

[ lts when l have to go to school,

[ but l can t go.

[ When l have to eat, but l can t.

When l have to slee, but l can t. p [

When my wife and children suffer.

[ l don t have a sufficient intellectual level

to get us out of this situation,

me or my family.

l really feel poor.

Physically poor, mentally poor.

And you rich people who listen to me,

what do you have to say

about your wealth?

l know

that lm less ha with mo e mone. [ ppy r y

And l know that l still want more.

l like things and l pursue the things,

but the things only make me happy

for a short period of time.

Then, l go back and l have the challenges of my family

[ and l don t know how

to make a depressed person happy.

Y [ ou can t give them a thing and make them happy,

because their brain is not happy.

So, l feel frustrated that

r [ the cu es don t exist.

And l can[t lust wave a magic wand and make my...

son...

better.

l lived in a place surrounded by villas.

And l lived in a hovel.

l knew that people

sometimes threw food away.

And we, especially me,

we were hungry.

We lust wanted some food.

For me, poverty

makes me sad

because of the inlustice.

Because if everyone had food,

at least had full bellies,

at home, we could think.

Reasoning is intelligence.

So, we could be poor,

live in a hovel,

but have the intelligence

to be able to get ahead.

Thank God,

l managed to rise above all that.

But how man othe s can t? y r [

Many die because of it.

And that is really sad.

To me that[s sheer inlustice ,.

The street is a very tough school.

Poverty

is a state

[ which lm in

at the moment.

When ou e poo, y [r r day in and day out,

it[s not that you enloy it ,

but you do get used to it,

quite simply.

Poverty is a state.

[ lts a state

which lasts.

And for many.

Far too many.

What would l like to ask?

[ r What the hell l m doing he e.

Wh can t l be whe e ou a e y [ r y r

to see what the hell is going on?

Lets switch fo a minute. [ r

[ Lets switch! You come here and be me

and l ll go the e and be ou. [ r y

We ll meet u [ p in the middle line on the Equator

and we ll la golf. [ p y

[ r lt doesn t matte if l[m the president (of Uruguay) .

[ lve thought about all this a lot.

l spent over 10 years

in a solitary confinement cell.

l had the time...

l spent 7 years without opening a book.

lt left me time to think.

This is what l discovered.

Eithe ou e happ with ve little, r y [r y ry

without overburdening yourself,

because you have happiness inside,

o ou ll get nowhe e. r y [ r

l am not advocating poverty.

l m advocating sob iet. [ r y

But we invented

a consumer society...

which is continually seeking growth.

r [ r [ r When the es no g owth, its t agic.

We invented a mountain

of superfluous needs.

You have to keep buying, throwing away...

lts ou lives we a e s uande ing. [ r r q r

When l buy something,

or when you buy it,

we e not pa ing with mone. [r y y

We e pa ing [r y with the time from our lives

we had to spend

to earn that money.

The difference is

that ou can t bu life. y [ y

Life lust goes by.

[ rr And its te ible

to waste your life

losing your freedom.

l m not af aid of d ing. [ r y

My children want to make me happy

so that l leave this life serenely.

lf lm ha befo e l die, [ ppy r

l will be after, too.

l can t wo k an mo e. [ r y r

[ r l m so old that l no longe know

if l should sleep

on this side or that side.

l sleep badly.

So, l wait in my bed.

Sometimes, l tell myself

ld be bette off dead. [ r

At least ld be at eace. [ p

After death,

r r [ fo me, the es nothing else.

[ Then, we ll laugh:

[r we e going to heaven,

[r r but we e not taking the ight path.

When you go in the ground,

ou don t go to heaven. y [

We e not taking the ight ath. [r r p

[ l don t think the es life afte death. r [ r

[ l don t believe in all that.

When l think of my grandmother whom l loved a lot

and who died a long time ago,

l tell myself memories soon fade.

The picture becomes blurred.

Sometimes, the sound of the voice disappears.

What do we leave behind? What remains?

That scares me.

lts a totall i ational fea... [ y rr r

which is based on something

completely archaic and tribal.

lt stirs up so many things inside of me.

[ lts not something

which has to do with pride

or anything like that.

[ lts something else.

[ lts to do with the meaning of life.

What have we done with our lives?

Why am l here?

[ l don t know.

[ ld like to leave something behind.

ld like to leave m ma k. [ y r

The meaning of life...

[ l don t know if it comes from the fact

that l don t feel im o tant. [ p r

We are not important.

[ l don t see...

l don t see life that wa. [ y

You lust have to live life.

We all have been, we all are,

and we all will cease to be.

l think l was born

to give birth

to one or two children.

To feed them

from infancy

[ so that, when l m old,

they take care of me, in return.

My biggest fear is...

is being nobody,

is being nothing...

Not knowing

wh lm he e, what the oint is, y [ r p

if it has meaning.

To really not be any use whatsoever,

me,

lust a man among men.

l have the impression

that the es a unive sal d namic r [ r y

and if l m not a t of it, [ p r

it will destroy me.

l want to be part

of the history of mankind.

Me being 15 with a life sentence,

what can be the meaning of my life?

That is a hard question.

l think the meaning of my life could be

happiness, making everything right.

Helping out young and older people.

lust help one another.

Stand for someone.

lust stay out of trouble, [ r don t come to p ison.

[ That ain t no meaning in life.

This ain t no lace fo nobod. [ p r y

[ l don t know... Everybody has their own purpose.

l don t know what m pu pose is. [ y r

l don t know about that uestion. [ q

Sometimes, l think

of a phrase l heard as a boy,

a friend who said:

"Life is like carrying a message

"from the child you were

"to the old man you will be.

"You have to make sure that this message

isn t lost along the wa. " [ y "

l often think of that,

because when l was little,

l used to imagine fine things,

to dream of a world without beggars

in which everyone was happy.

Simple, subtle things.

But you lose those things over the course of life.

You lust work

to be able to buy things.

And you stop seeing the beggar,

you stop caring.

r [ Whe es the message of the child l once was?

Maybe the meaning of life

is making sure that this message

doesn t disa ea. [ pp r

lve al ead asked m self... [ r y y

lve al ead asked m self [ r y y

why l was on Earth.

[ r l m he e...

to do what God

has planned for me.

Because on Earth,

everyone has a mission.

l have one, too,

but l don t know it et. [ y

This movie is dedicated to the thousands of people

who answered our questions with honesty, courage and kindness.

A huge thank you.

A special thank you also

to the Bettencourt Schueller Foundation and to its team

who made this prolect possible.

Mom and Dad, you must listen to me:

if you can, stop the drugs.

lve told ou so man times [ y y

and l tell you again.

Sto the d ugs. The e bad fo ou. p r y[r r y

The e dest o ing ou h sicall. y[r r y y p y y

lf you remember

that lm ou daughte, stop. [ y r r

Do it for me.

l have a younger brother...

l have a little brother who died.

He left behind a 4-year-old girl.

Unfortunately,

the mother of the girl is dead, too.

[ r r So, ld like to tell that b othe

that he shouldn t wo. [ rry

r r[ l knew this b othe s love for his daughter.

He should know that she is in good hands,

that l take very good care of her.

l m a lad of the night [ y

and l have a message for my parents.

Don t wo an mo e. [ rry y r

[ lts OK now.

l can fulfill my mission.

l can look after my brothers and sisters.

The e at home and will stud. y[r y

The ll com lete thei studies, y[ p r

l promise.

[ l don t want them to have a hard life.

They must study for years.

lt will make me happy,

because l wasn t so luck. [ y

The ll com lete thei studies. y[ p r

l want them to study

as long as possible.

[ l don t have the intelligence

to do anything else,

but l want my brothers and sisters

to finish their studies.

There are two things

ld like to tell ou. [ y

Don t fo get who ou a e [ r y r

and always smile.

Smiling is the only language

everyone understands.

Y [ r ou ve b ought up

a lot of things for me today.

ou ve made me feel im o tant. Y [ p r

ou ve made me feel Y [

that l have something to offer,

that l had a place to go.

You made me feel

like my stories were welcome.

And you made me feel happy.

l think people need to

feel that they have done something

while the ve lived. y[

They need to feel

that the ve cont ibuted. y[ r

And today,

you made me feel like l contributed.

And lm ve g ateful to ou [ ry r y for that.

Thank you.

My message is that you are

welcome to my home.

Come to my home.

l invite you all!

Every tribe:

Ovatua, Ovahimba,

Ovambo, Ovangandliera.

Y [r ou e all welcome.

Today, in this world,

we hear

about people who make films.

We hear this kind of story,

but now...

that Ulla and Emmanuel are here,

that the e making a film, y[r

everyone will see where we live,

in my village.

l am so happy.

Seeing more film-people coming here

would make me very happy.

The world will get to know us.

l don t know if the ll see me, [ y[

but l am very happy

to talk now

and to those who will come.

Tell them.

r [ The es nothing to add.

We talked about peace.

We talked about everything.

[ [ r Weve finished, its ove.