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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,994 --> 00:00:08,313
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,364 --> 00:00:11,783
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,851 --> 00:00:14,753
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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00:00:14,821 --> 00:00:18,356
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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00:00:18,407 --> 00:00:21,543
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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# Family Guy 10x19 #
Mr. & Mrs. Stewie
Original Air Date on April 29, 2012
11
00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:36,283
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:36,755 --> 00:00:39,006
Come on, Stewie. Hurry up.
I want to get good seats.
13
00:00:39,090 --> 00:00:41,825
Ugh, I hate going to hear
authors read from their work.
14
00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:43,961
That Dr. Seuss reading
was dreadful.
15
00:00:44,029 --> 00:00:46,196
And when the drugs
stopped numbing the pain,
16
00:00:46,264 --> 00:00:48,198
the sex became
even more violent.
17
00:00:48,266 --> 00:00:49,366
It doesn't rhyme.
18
00:00:49,434 --> 00:00:51,235
The new stuff
doesn't rhyme!
19
00:00:52,437 --> 00:00:54,171
Hey, there.
20
00:00:54,239 --> 00:00:56,307
You a big fan
of Jonathan Franzen?
21
00:00:56,374 --> 00:00:58,525
Oh, my God,
I worship him.
22
00:00:58,593 --> 00:01:00,160
Yeah, yeah, of all
my writing students,
23
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:01,695
he's probably
done the best.
24
00:01:01,763 --> 00:01:03,063
I'm sorry,
everybody.
25
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,799
Mr. Franzen has informed us
he's not coming.
26
00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:09,103
Like most real authors, he's
too good for this dumb town.
27
00:01:10,272 --> 00:01:11,872
I hate it here.
28
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:13,741
Well, this crowd
was promised an author.
29
00:01:13,808 --> 00:01:15,726
No!
30
00:01:15,794 --> 00:01:17,911
Oh, well, you know, I guess
I should be getting back
31
00:01:17,996 --> 00:01:19,046
to my dorm anyway.
32
00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:20,180
I've got a short story due
33
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:21,832
for my creative writing
class tomorrow.
34
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,434
Oh, creative
writing, huh?
35
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,669
Well, if you'd like me to look
it over before you turn it in,
36
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,221
I'd be happy to.
Really?
37
00:01:27,289 --> 00:01:28,705
That'd be great.
38
00:01:28,757 --> 00:01:30,341
Cool, cool,
I'll follow you in my car.
39
00:01:30,408 --> 00:01:31,375
Come on. We're going.
40
00:01:31,443 --> 00:01:32,977
All right,
hold on.
41
00:01:33,044 --> 00:01:35,212
Is this what your parents are
paying all that tuition for--
44
00:01:47,242 --> 00:01:48,409
Okay, I'm gonna go
in there with her.
45
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,060
You just sit out here
and be quiet.
46
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:51,862
Here, watch one of her
movies or something.
47
00:01:53,031 --> 00:01:55,849
Ugh, Charlie St. Cloud?
48
00:01:55,917 --> 00:01:57,785
A-And why are there
so many fingerprints on this?
49
00:01:57,852 --> 00:02:01,922
Who's handling their CharlieSt. Cloud DVD all the time?
50
00:02:10,482 --> 00:02:14,652
Lois, can I have
a Pop-Tart in bed, please?
51
00:02:14,719 --> 00:02:16,387
Lois?
52
00:02:16,454 --> 00:02:17,421
Hey, Chris?
53
00:02:17,489 --> 00:02:18,956
Yeah?
54
00:02:19,024 --> 00:02:21,642
Do you think Lois would be okay
if I ate a Pop-Tart in bed?
55
00:02:21,710 --> 00:02:22,676
Probably.
56
00:02:22,744 --> 00:02:23,844
Probably, right?
57
00:02:23,912 --> 00:02:26,030
Lois, you in the bathroom?
58
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,755
Well, Mrs. Griffin,
you have three crushed ribs,
59
00:02:34,823 --> 00:02:36,674
but I was able to stop
the internal bleeding.
60
00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:39,510
Doctor, this has happened
seven times in the last month.
61
00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:42,279
Peter rolls over in his sleep
and almost kills me.
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00:02:42,347 --> 00:02:43,547
I see.
63
00:02:43,615 --> 00:02:44,581
Well, that sucks.
64
00:02:44,649 --> 00:02:46,083
Look, I don't do it
on purpose.
65
00:02:46,151 --> 00:02:47,951
Well, it looks like you got
a handle on it then.
66
00:02:48,019 --> 00:02:49,169
No, we don't.
67
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,038
He practically
smothers me every night.
68
00:02:51,106 --> 00:02:52,439
Well, are you hogging
the blankets?
69
00:02:52,507 --> 00:02:53,640
No.
70
00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:55,392
"Probably hogging
blankets."
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00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,845
And if he's not smothering me,
he's keeping me up all night
72
00:02:57,912 --> 00:03:00,581
writing with that
giant plume of his.
73
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:04,301
"Dearest Augustine,
I do hope this latest damp
74
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:05,819
has not aggravated
your gray lung."
75
00:03:05,887 --> 00:03:07,454
Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip.
76
00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:09,773
"Matters stateside
have taken a tragic turn
77
00:03:09,824 --> 00:03:11,825
"as this year's gourd crop
has fallen prey
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00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:13,744
"to a rather
unexpected infestation
79
00:03:13,811 --> 00:03:15,112
of saltmarsh cutworms."
80
00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:16,296
Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip.
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00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,915
Peter, it's 4:00
in the morning.
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00:03:17,982 --> 00:03:19,416
Come to bed!
83
00:03:19,484 --> 00:03:22,186
"Marital concerns continue
to bedevil me."
84
00:03:25,106 --> 00:03:27,141
Look, I'm sorry.
85
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,743
I wasn't planning on
spending all night there.
86
00:03:29,811 --> 00:03:32,346
Look, how about if I take
you to the park, huh?
87
00:03:32,414 --> 00:03:35,182
Come on. You like
the park, right?
88
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:37,501
We're about to
pass the turnoff.
89
00:03:37,569 --> 00:03:40,437
Here it comes.
90
00:03:40,505 --> 00:03:42,423
You may take me
to the park.
91
00:03:47,479 --> 00:03:49,630
Um, excuse me. I didn't
bring any of my toys.
92
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,998
Can I play with
some of yours?
93
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,916
No! Mine!
94
00:03:54,436 --> 00:03:56,804
Are you all right?
95
00:03:56,871 --> 00:03:58,105
I'm fine.
96
00:03:58,173 --> 00:04:00,524
I-I didn't push him back
because he has leukemia.
97
00:04:00,592 --> 00:04:01,592
My name's Penelope.
98
00:04:01,659 --> 00:04:02,559
What's yours?
99
00:04:02,627 --> 00:04:03,694
Stewie.
100
00:04:03,762 --> 00:04:05,462
I've never seen you
around here before.
101
00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:07,798
I'm new to town and I
don't have many friends.
102
00:04:07,866 --> 00:04:09,199
All right.
103
00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:11,835
A lot of pressure on me
instantly, but okay.
104
00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:14,071
Would you like to play with
some of my toys, Stewie?
105
00:04:14,139 --> 00:04:15,255
Well, what have you got?
106
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,057
I have a set of jacks,
a paddleball,
107
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:18,926
and this taffy
with superglue.
108
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:21,061
Isn't that the little
boy who pushed you?
109
00:04:21,129 --> 00:04:22,579
Hmm, yes.
110
00:04:22,647 --> 00:04:26,316
You there, would you like
a piece of candy?
111
00:04:37,579 --> 00:04:39,446
Don't push.
112
00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:46,703
Uh, Lois, why do we have
Lucy and Ricky beds?
113
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,606
Because I'm sick of you crushing
me in the middle of the night.
114
00:04:49,674 --> 00:04:51,308
Dr. Hartman called
about my X rays.
115
00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:53,677
He said my spine
is now disfigured.
116
00:04:53,745 --> 00:04:56,079
Lois, if God wanted me
to not sleep with my wife,
117
00:04:56,147 --> 00:04:57,681
he would have made me
John Travolta.
118
00:04:57,749 --> 00:04:59,082
Peter, I'm really
tired, okay?
119
00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:00,984
Just give the bed a try.
120
00:05:05,857 --> 00:05:07,574
There you go.
121
00:05:07,642 --> 00:05:09,159
Good night, Peter.
122
00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:11,295
I can't sleep like this, Lois.
123
00:05:11,362 --> 00:05:13,030
I need someone to cuddle with.
124
00:05:13,097 --> 00:05:14,932
Believe it or not,
men like to cuddle,
125
00:05:14,999 --> 00:05:17,801
even cold, unfeeling men
like Charles Bronson.
126
00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:20,270
Hey, Charles Bronson's wife.
127
00:05:20,338 --> 00:05:23,207
Scooch over.
I want to cuddle.
128
00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:25,375
Mmm, that's nice.
129
00:05:30,648 --> 00:05:31,815
I don't know
what the big deal is.
130
00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:34,284
I stopped for one drink
after work.
131
00:05:34,352 --> 00:05:36,086
Yes, but it's
every night.
132
00:05:36,154 --> 00:05:39,172
There, now you can be
upset about that.
133
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,240
This is fun.
134
00:05:40,308 --> 00:05:41,875
I like playing
with you, Penelope.
135
00:05:41,943 --> 00:05:43,076
What shall
we play next?
136
00:05:43,144 --> 00:05:44,795
Well, let's see
what you have.
137
00:05:44,863 --> 00:05:47,781
You have a pop-up version
of the Unabomber's Manifesto?
138
00:05:47,849 --> 00:05:51,101
Yes, at the end the brother
pops up and turns you in.
139
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,474
What's this
on your Etch A Sketch?
140
00:05:57,542 --> 00:05:59,243
Oh, those are some advanced
mathematical formulas
141
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:00,911
I've just been
tinkering with.
142
00:06:00,979 --> 00:06:02,312
You're kidding?
I do that, too.
143
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:04,581
But what are
these formulas for?
144
00:06:04,649 --> 00:06:06,650
For these.
145
00:06:14,626 --> 00:06:15,626
Oh, my God,
146
00:06:15,693 --> 00:06:16,860
you've got a weapons room, too?
147
00:06:16,928 --> 00:06:18,061
And look at the size of it.
148
00:06:18,129 --> 00:06:19,429
It's amazing.
149
00:06:19,497 --> 00:06:21,665
Yes, although sometimes
I think it's too big.
150
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:24,167
It takes the cleaning woman
forever to clean it.
151
00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,140
Was already broken.
152
00:06:37,311 --> 00:06:38,811
My word, Penelope,
153
00:06:38,879 --> 00:06:41,013
you and I seem to have
quite a lot in common.
154
00:06:41,081 --> 00:06:42,415
Do you actually
use these?
155
00:06:42,483 --> 00:06:44,984
Only when fear, spite, jealousy,
and revenge demand.
156
00:06:45,052 --> 00:06:47,420
I bought that to kill the women
from Sex and the City,
157
00:06:47,488 --> 00:06:50,022
but time seems
to be doing it for me.
158
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:51,858
You're wicked.
159
00:06:51,925 --> 00:06:53,459
Do your parents
have any idea?
160
00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:54,594
My mother's
not a concern.
161
00:06:54,661 --> 00:06:55,778
I don't really have
to worry
162
00:06:55,846 --> 00:06:57,130
about her anymore.
163
00:06:57,197 --> 00:06:59,999
Oh, do you have one of those
white wine zombie moms?
164
00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,234
No, she died.
165
00:07:01,301 --> 00:07:02,518
She was taking a tub
166
00:07:02,586 --> 00:07:04,887
and somebody came in
and cut her head off.
167
00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:06,322
Wait a moment.
168
00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:09,192
Did... did you kill her?
169
00:07:09,259 --> 00:07:13,129
Well, I held the knife...
and her hair.
170
00:07:13,197 --> 00:07:16,532
Oh, my God, I've been dreaming
about doing that for years,
171
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,568
and you've actually gone ahead
and done it.
172
00:07:18,635 --> 00:07:20,286
Penelope...
173
00:07:20,354 --> 00:07:22,054
I've never said this
to anyone before,
174
00:07:22,122 --> 00:07:25,558
but I feel like I may have
finally found, in you,
175
00:07:25,626 --> 00:07:27,894
my one true soul mate.
176
00:07:27,961 --> 00:07:29,262
Do you feel this way, too?
177
00:07:29,329 --> 00:07:30,830
I do, Stewart.
178
00:07:30,898 --> 00:07:33,299
It's as if our meeting were
more than a mere coincidence.
179
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:35,768
It's as if we were
meant to be together.
180
00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:37,036
Indeed.
181
00:07:37,104 --> 00:07:39,605
This must be how Maverick felt
when he met Goose.
182
00:07:39,673 --> 00:07:41,173
I feel the need.
183
00:07:41,225 --> 00:07:43,359
The need for speed.
The need for speed.
184
00:07:43,443 --> 00:07:45,244
And Scientology.
No, just speed.
185
00:07:48,815 --> 00:07:50,867
So, listen, Quagmire,
there's something
186
00:07:50,951 --> 00:07:52,752
I kind of wanted
to talk to you about.
187
00:07:52,819 --> 00:07:55,888
E-Ever since Lois got us
twin beds, I can't fall asleep.
188
00:07:55,956 --> 00:07:57,790
I'm used to having
another person there.
189
00:07:57,858 --> 00:07:59,976
I know. I always sleep better
when I'm next to someone.
190
00:08:00,043 --> 00:08:00,977
Yeah, it's only
natural, right?
191
00:08:01,044 --> 00:08:02,345
I'm glad to hear
you say that
192
00:08:02,412 --> 00:08:05,031
'cause, you know, I guess
what I'm trying to say is,
193
00:08:05,098 --> 00:08:08,000
I... want to propose
an arrangement
194
00:08:08,068 --> 00:08:10,052
that could benefit
the both of us.
195
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,354
Okay.
196
00:08:11,421 --> 00:08:13,623
Men need someone to spoon with
and snuggle with
197
00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:18,361
just the same as women, and when
you don't have that, it-it's...
198
00:08:18,428 --> 00:08:20,346
I... well,
what I'm getting at is...
199
00:08:21,682 --> 00:08:25,651
I would like for you
to sleep with me in my bed,
200
00:08:25,719 --> 00:08:28,054
and this, this is not about sex;
it's about sleep.
201
00:08:28,121 --> 00:08:29,338
No, no, I totally
get it, Peter.
202
00:08:29,406 --> 00:08:30,673
Snuggling is a
basic human need.
203
00:08:30,741 --> 00:08:32,942
Right, I mean, who says
that the body next to you
204
00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:34,610
has to be male or female
or... whatever?
205
00:08:34,678 --> 00:08:35,645
Or alive.
206
00:08:35,712 --> 00:08:37,713
Yeah... well, no,
but, yeah.
207
00:08:37,781 --> 00:08:39,181
Look, I, I think
it's a great idea
208
00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:40,449
and I, I'm completely with you.
209
00:08:40,517 --> 00:08:41,784
I'm in. Let's try it.
210
00:08:41,852 --> 00:08:44,253
Yay, that is
such good news.
211
00:08:44,321 --> 00:08:46,205
And I'm so happy
they gave us a booth.
212
00:08:46,273 --> 00:08:47,573
I know, 'cause they're
supposed to be reserved
213
00:08:47,641 --> 00:08:48,608
for parties of
three or more.
214
00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:49,809
I know!
215
00:08:52,963 --> 00:08:55,715
Oh, Stewie, it's so nice
to finally have someone
216
00:08:55,782 --> 00:08:57,116
to do naughty
things with.
217
00:08:57,184 --> 00:08:58,217
Definitely.
218
00:08:58,285 --> 00:08:59,652
All right, I made
a wallet bomb
219
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,053
and I planted it
on Mort.
220
00:09:01,104 --> 00:09:03,489
As soon
as he opens it-- boom.
221
00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:14,767
Oh, bloody hell.
222
00:09:14,818 --> 00:09:17,286
How do you go two weeks
without opening your wallet?
223
00:09:17,371 --> 00:09:19,322
Yeah, he's been out
to dinner, like, four times.
224
00:09:19,406 --> 00:09:21,574
We're clearly not going
to get him this way.
225
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:24,293
I know, which is why
I just planted another bomb
226
00:09:24,378 --> 00:09:27,296
that's set to go off every time
he burps into his hand.
227
00:09:32,502 --> 00:09:36,055
Ohh, I'd better make sure
my wallet's okay.
228
00:09:41,445 --> 00:09:43,546
I say, we're
on quite a run.
229
00:09:43,613 --> 00:09:45,114
We blew up the
Great Wall of China,
230
00:09:45,182 --> 00:09:47,350
bombed the Eiffel Tower, a
look at this note I sent off.
231
00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:49,518
"Dear Pakistan,
Up yours.
232
00:09:49,586 --> 00:09:50,987
Love, India."
233
00:09:51,054 --> 00:09:52,388
Let's see
what happens.
234
00:09:57,894 --> 00:09:59,729
They did not need much.
235
00:09:59,796 --> 00:10:02,031
All right,
Stewie, your turn.
236
00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:05,217
Okay, I have to destroy
Copenhagen with a...
237
00:10:05,285 --> 00:10:07,920
tidal wave,
and the theme is...
238
00:10:07,987 --> 00:10:09,405
the Roaring Twenties.
239
00:10:09,473 --> 00:10:12,041
Tha-That's, that's,
that's a challenge.
240
00:10:19,999 --> 00:10:22,918
Roarin' twenten tidal waven!
241
00:10:31,578 --> 00:10:32,812
Peter, what's
going on?
242
00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:34,647
Quagmire's having
a sleepover with me.
243
00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:36,065
You can't
be serious.
244
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:37,767
Look, Lois, I told you
that I need
245
00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:39,802
to have somebody
sleeping next to me.
246
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,237
All right, now if that's
not going to be you...
247
00:10:41,304 --> 00:10:42,772
Fine. Do what you want.
248
00:10:42,839 --> 00:10:44,990
I don't care,
but I think it's very strange.
249
00:10:45,042 --> 00:10:46,325
Okay, that's the
one thing it's not.
250
00:10:46,393 --> 00:10:47,693
Yeah, it's not strange.
251
00:10:47,761 --> 00:10:50,579
I already told you:
I don't care.
252
00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:51,914
It's not strange.
253
00:10:51,982 --> 00:10:53,115
I know.
254
00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:54,250
All right,
let's see here.
255
00:10:54,317 --> 00:10:56,919
Now just, uh, wrap
yourself around me.
256
00:10:56,987 --> 00:10:58,154
Is that okay?
257
00:10:58,221 --> 00:11:00,022
Yeah, actually, you can
hold me even tighter.
258
00:11:00,090 --> 00:11:03,426
Okay, I just need to put
this arm right around here.
259
00:11:03,493 --> 00:11:05,077
Yeah, there we go.
260
00:11:05,145 --> 00:11:08,080
Good, now let's just
fall asleep like this.
261
00:11:09,449 --> 00:11:11,417
Your boxers are
a little starchy.
262
00:11:11,485 --> 00:11:12,952
Can I take 'em off
with my foot?
263
00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:14,854
Sure.
264
00:11:19,342 --> 00:11:21,977
Come on, you.
265
00:11:28,568 --> 00:11:29,969
Good evening.
I'm Tom Tucker.
266
00:11:30,036 --> 00:11:32,037
Our top story:
Authorities are still searching
267
00:11:32,105 --> 00:11:34,907
for the culprits in a series
of horrific acts of destruction
268
00:11:34,975 --> 00:11:37,143
all across-- scroll down, guys--
269
00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:38,611
the globe.
270
00:11:38,678 --> 00:11:39,912
That could've fit on there.
271
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:41,714
There was a long space
at the end of that line.
272
00:11:41,782 --> 00:11:43,766
My God, it's you,
isn't it?
273
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:45,050
It's you and Penelope
274
00:11:45,102 --> 00:11:46,719
who've been doing
all of these horrible things.
275
00:11:46,787 --> 00:11:48,237
So? I've always been
about world domination.
276
00:11:48,305 --> 00:11:50,573
What the hell did you think
I was talking about when I said,
277
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,007
"Victory shall be mine"?
278
00:11:52,075 --> 00:11:54,043
You have not said that
in a very long time.
279
00:11:54,111 --> 00:11:55,311
Well, I'm back on it.
280
00:11:55,378 --> 00:11:57,980
Stewie, Penelope is taking you
down a dark path.
281
00:11:58,048 --> 00:11:59,899
Look, in the past
you've done terrible things,
282
00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:01,367
but it's always been
about the pursuit
283
00:12:01,435 --> 00:12:03,335
of your greater goal
of world domination.
284
00:12:03,403 --> 00:12:06,972
But this girl-- she just creates
chaos for the sake of chaos.
285
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,107
So, what are you saying?
286
00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:09,742
I'm saying she's
a bad influence on you,
287
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,377
and you should stop spending
time with her.
288
00:12:11,445 --> 00:12:12,645
I shall do no such thing.
289
00:12:12,712 --> 00:12:14,213
Penelope is wonderful.
290
00:12:14,281 --> 00:12:15,681
We're going to be
together forever.
291
00:12:17,717 --> 00:12:19,969
Well, Rupert,
this is a big mess.
292
00:12:20,053 --> 00:12:22,021
What the hell were you
doing talking to him?
293
00:12:27,828 --> 00:12:29,695
You know who I think
is an ugly slut?
294
00:12:29,763 --> 00:12:30,796
Miss Sharon.
295
00:12:30,864 --> 00:12:32,298
Miss Sharon
from your day care?
296
00:12:32,365 --> 00:12:33,365
Yes.
297
00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:35,134
This is a map of her house.
298
00:12:35,202 --> 00:12:36,502
I thought we could
burn her in her bed
299
00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:37,636
while her children watch.
300
00:12:37,704 --> 00:12:39,071
You know, Penelope,
301
00:12:39,139 --> 00:12:41,874
maybe we don't have
to kill someone every day.
302
00:12:41,942 --> 00:12:44,059
There are other things to do.
303
00:12:44,127 --> 00:12:44,977
Like what?
304
00:12:45,045 --> 00:12:46,111
I-I don't know.
305
00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:47,746
You know what? Forget it.
306
00:12:47,814 --> 00:12:50,199
I-I think Brian just got
in my head a bit. That's all.
307
00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:51,367
Brian?
308
00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:53,135
Why? What did Brian say?
309
00:12:53,203 --> 00:12:54,403
Oh, nothing.
310
00:12:54,471 --> 00:12:56,772
He just thinks that you're
a bad influence on me.
311
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,774
T-Thinks I should stop
seeing you.
312
00:12:58,842 --> 00:13:00,075
He does?
313
00:13:00,143 --> 00:13:01,994
How dare he!
314
00:13:02,062 --> 00:13:03,229
Babe? Babe?
315
00:13:03,296 --> 00:13:04,496
Don't worry about it,
all right?
316
00:13:04,548 --> 00:13:06,849
Stewart, do you love me?
317
00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:08,384
More than anything.
318
00:13:08,451 --> 00:13:10,719
Then swear on that love
that you'll do what I ask.
319
00:13:10,787 --> 00:13:11,921
Just name it.
320
00:13:11,988 --> 00:13:13,589
Kill him.
321
00:13:13,657 --> 00:13:15,291
Kill Brian for me.
322
00:13:17,727 --> 00:13:18,898
Family Guy is brought to you
323
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,923
by AXE Body Spray.
324
00:13:21,147 --> 00:13:23,649
AXE Body Spray:Spray it on after gym class
325
00:13:23,717 --> 00:13:25,734
instead of getting beat upin the shower.
326
00:13:25,802 --> 00:13:28,087
Kind of weird those guyswant to fight you naked, huh?
327
00:13:28,154 --> 00:13:29,255
AXE Body Spray.
328
00:13:37,227 --> 00:13:39,562
Oh, God, I can't kill Brian.
329
00:13:39,630 --> 00:13:40,930
Even for Penelope.
330
00:13:40,997 --> 00:13:43,049
He's my dog, my friend.
331
00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:44,550
Well, I wonder what words
332
00:13:44,618 --> 00:13:46,769
are gonna come
out of this pen today.
333
00:13:46,837 --> 00:13:48,204
All right, I can do this.
334
00:14:08,058 --> 00:14:09,825
Oh, who am I kidding?
335
00:14:09,893 --> 00:14:11,444
I can't do this.
336
00:14:22,139 --> 00:14:25,892
♪ You're lookin'
kind of lonely, girl ♪
337
00:14:25,976 --> 00:14:30,479
♪ Would you like someone new
to talk to? ♪
338
00:14:30,547 --> 00:14:33,482
♪ Oh, yeah, all right ♪
339
00:14:33,550 --> 00:14:36,986
♪ I'm feelin'
kind of lonely, too ♪
340
00:14:37,054 --> 00:14:38,771
♪ If you don't mind ♪
341
00:14:38,855 --> 00:14:42,975
♪ Can I sit down here
beside you? ♪
342
00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:46,212
♪ Oh, yeah, all right ♪
343
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,233
♪ If I seem
to come on too strong ♪
344
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:53,035
♪ I hope that
you will understand ♪
345
00:14:53,086 --> 00:14:55,538
♪ I say these things
'cause I'd like to know ♪
346
00:14:55,589 --> 00:14:58,758
♪ If you're as lonely as I am ♪
347
00:14:58,825 --> 00:15:03,429
♪ And if you'd mind sharing
the night together ♪
348
00:15:03,497 --> 00:15:06,315
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
349
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:09,535
♪ Sharing the night together ♪
350
00:15:09,603 --> 00:15:12,772
♪ Whoa-oh, yeah... ♪
351
00:15:15,242 --> 00:15:17,877
I don't care how many children
you've lost in childbirth.
352
00:15:17,945 --> 00:15:19,478
You're fired.
353
00:15:19,546 --> 00:15:21,080
But I was only having a child
354
00:15:21,148 --> 00:15:22,515
because you
and the mister...
355
00:15:22,582 --> 00:15:26,652
You don't get to speak
of me and the mister!
356
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,904
Ah, Stewie.
So did you do it?
357
00:15:28,972 --> 00:15:31,774
Have you removed that wretched
cur from our existence?
358
00:15:31,842 --> 00:15:34,377
I just couldn't bring myself
to kill him, Penelope.
359
00:15:34,444 --> 00:15:36,679
Brian is my best friend.
360
00:15:36,747 --> 00:15:38,247
Perhaps you're right.
361
00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:40,449
Perhaps it was wrong of me
to ask you to do such a thing.
362
00:15:40,517 --> 00:15:42,018
Oh, thank you.
363
00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:44,353
I'm so glad you're being
so understanding about this.
364
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,922
I was actually dreading
having to tell you about this.
365
00:15:46,990 --> 00:15:48,524
Bleah.
366
00:15:48,592 --> 00:15:50,960
It appears I'll have
to kill him myself.
367
00:15:51,028 --> 00:15:52,094
What?!
368
00:15:52,162 --> 00:15:54,096
I knew you were too weak
to do this.
369
00:15:54,197 --> 00:15:55,564
You're nothing but a coward.
370
00:15:55,632 --> 00:15:57,416
No, Penelope, wait!
371
00:15:57,484 --> 00:15:59,869
Strong women always
turn out to be nightmares.
372
00:15:59,936 --> 00:16:01,570
Like Joan of Arc.
373
00:16:01,638 --> 00:16:04,140
Hey, guys,
I'm not like other girls.
374
00:16:04,207 --> 00:16:06,742
I kill people and burp
and watch so much porn.
375
00:16:06,810 --> 00:16:08,644
Isn't that cool?
No.
376
00:16:08,712 --> 00:16:10,346
I like a lot
of goofball comedies
377
00:16:10,414 --> 00:16:12,081
that other chicks don't like.
378
00:16:12,149 --> 00:16:14,617
My favorite thing to play
is Call of Duty.
379
00:16:14,685 --> 00:16:17,753
Look me up.
I'm GuitarGurrrl76.
380
00:16:17,821 --> 00:16:19,321
Let's burn this chick
at the stake.
381
00:16:19,373 --> 00:16:20,589
I love steak!
382
00:16:20,657 --> 00:16:21,757
Other girls don't.
383
00:16:21,825 --> 00:16:23,426
I'm actually more like a dude.
384
00:16:23,493 --> 00:16:25,011
Hey, guys,
don't come in my room.
385
00:16:25,095 --> 00:16:27,446
I might be rubbin' one in.
386
00:16:30,634 --> 00:16:32,835
Peter, this is ridiculous.
387
00:16:32,903 --> 00:16:34,603
It's time for you
to come home.
388
00:16:34,671 --> 00:16:36,105
I live here now, Lois.
389
00:16:36,173 --> 00:16:38,674
Look, I'm sorry
that I ever got us separate...
390
00:16:38,742 --> 00:16:40,109
Is that a bracelet
you're wearing?
391
00:16:40,176 --> 00:16:41,560
It's a giggity band, Lois.
392
00:16:41,628 --> 00:16:43,029
You wouldn't understand.
393
00:16:43,096 --> 00:16:44,630
Look, Peter,
if you come home now,
394
00:16:44,698 --> 00:16:46,132
we can get our old bed back,
395
00:16:46,199 --> 00:16:48,100
and you can snuggle with me
as much as you want.
396
00:16:48,168 --> 00:16:49,535
Well...
397
00:16:49,603 --> 00:16:51,337
You promise?
398
00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:52,805
I promise.
399
00:16:52,873 --> 00:16:56,175
'Cause, you know,
I missed cuddling with you, too.
400
00:16:56,243 --> 00:16:57,176
You did?
401
00:16:57,244 --> 00:16:59,078
I sure did.
402
00:16:59,146 --> 00:17:01,330
Well, then, hey...
403
00:17:01,398 --> 00:17:03,749
what do you say we go home, huh?
404
00:17:03,817 --> 00:17:05,918
Sounds good to me.
405
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,611
Oh, Brian, there you are!
406
00:17:15,679 --> 00:17:16,846
Thank God.
Oh, hey, Stewie.
407
00:17:16,897 --> 00:17:18,180
Did you make that coffee?
408
00:17:18,248 --> 00:17:19,849
Um, no, it was here
when I came in.
409
00:17:19,916 --> 00:17:21,984
I assume Lois made it.
Don't drink that!
410
00:17:22,052 --> 00:17:24,253
Hey, that mug was my crew
gift from "Class Holes."
411
00:17:24,321 --> 00:17:25,921
Did you take a bite
out of this donut?
412
00:17:25,989 --> 00:17:27,590
Yeah, it was from a
box on the counter.
413
00:17:27,657 --> 00:17:28,858
So what?
How long ago?
414
00:17:28,925 --> 00:17:29,992
I don't know. Five minutes?
415
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:31,310
There's still time.
416
00:17:35,449 --> 00:17:38,267
God, Stewie, are you
out of your mind?
417
00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:40,403
Trust me, I'm only doing
what's best for you.
418
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:43,022
Well, I do feel pretty
thin and wonderful.
419
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,623
And I still got
to eat the donut.
420
00:17:44,691 --> 00:17:46,041
Why isn't everybody
doing this?
421
00:17:46,109 --> 00:17:47,760
They are.
422
00:17:50,013 --> 00:17:51,764
I've got a package here
for Brian Griffin.
423
00:17:51,832 --> 00:17:52,848
Oh, that's me.
424
00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:54,350
Brian, no!
425
00:17:57,504 --> 00:17:59,255
Stewie, what the hell
is going on?
426
00:17:59,322 --> 00:18:00,990
I'm so sorry, Brian.
427
00:18:01,057 --> 00:18:02,908
Penelope told me
I had to kill you
428
00:18:02,993 --> 00:18:04,393
because you said
we should break up,
429
00:18:04,461 --> 00:18:06,061
but I couldn't bring myself
to do it.
430
00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:08,464
So then she said
she was gonna kill you and...
431
00:18:08,532 --> 00:18:10,966
This-this is not for you.
432
00:18:12,202 --> 00:18:13,269
That was weird.
433
00:18:13,336 --> 00:18:14,437
W-What was he doing?
434
00:18:14,504 --> 00:18:16,155
Anyway, Penelope's
trying to kill you!
435
00:18:16,223 --> 00:18:17,890
I told you she was bad news.
436
00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:19,558
Look, let's just get you
someplace safe.
437
00:18:20,961 --> 00:18:22,211
Dude, get out of here.
438
00:18:25,248 --> 00:18:27,850
Stewie, step aside.
439
00:18:27,918 --> 00:18:29,802
Penelope,
I can't let you do this.
440
00:18:29,870 --> 00:18:31,170
Stewie, she's
one year old.
441
00:18:31,254 --> 00:18:32,488
I think I can
handle this myself.
442
00:18:36,393 --> 00:18:38,394
All right, Stewie, tag in.
443
00:18:45,702 --> 00:18:49,839
Slo-o-w mo-o-o-tion
di-i-ving at yo-o-u!
444
00:19:09,492 --> 00:19:10,626
Anti-gravity gun!
445
00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:12,494
This is beyond my technology.
446
00:19:12,546 --> 00:19:14,430
Perhaps if I detonate
an electromagnetic pulse,
447
00:19:14,497 --> 00:19:15,497
it will disable it.
448
00:20:09,218 --> 00:20:11,237
Stay away from my dog.
449
00:20:11,321 --> 00:20:13,355
Very well, Stewie. I shall.
450
00:20:13,406 --> 00:20:14,990
But just one thing.
451
00:20:15,058 --> 00:20:15,941
What?
452
00:20:37,948 --> 00:20:39,381
That was...
453
00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:41,116
beautiful.
454
00:20:41,184 --> 00:20:43,385
I'm gonna tell my friends
I banged her.
455
00:20:43,453 --> 00:20:47,453
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
456
00:20:49,109 --> 00:20:50,726
Hey, thanks for
saving my life.
457
00:20:50,794 --> 00:20:52,378
Well, it was the least
I could do.
458
00:20:52,445 --> 00:20:55,197
Obviously, it turns out
you were right about Penelope.
459
00:20:55,265 --> 00:20:56,398
You okay?
460
00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:57,666
I will be.
461
00:20:57,734 --> 00:20:59,001
I will be, babe.
462
00:20:59,069 --> 00:21:00,169
Oh, hey, Meg.
463
00:21:00,236 --> 00:21:01,320
What have you been up to?
464
00:21:03,928 --> 00:21:07,987
WEBDL Sync: VeRdiKT
[Addic7ed.com]
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