Original subtitles

You can also put it in miso soup.

Anyway, it's much more economical to cook yourself.

What is the easiest dish for somebody with no cooking experiences?

Actually, I cooked once in Showa period 58 (1983).

I did it once in Showa 58.

Once in 58 years?

No, in Showa 58.

You cooked once in Showa 58 at school?

No, at home.

Also, I need a wife.

I can't give you a wife...

...although I can teach you how to cook.

Kojima, no store has wives for sale.

My son doesn't even have one yet.

But a wife can feed you for sure.

Dr. Yamamoto, in terms of a short term objective,

...I declared to Sasaki that I'm going to listen to...

...FEBC radio on the internet every day for the next 2 weeks.

Didn't I, Sasaki?

An Opposing Party You Can Rely On The Japanese Communist Party

Slice it? Yes.

- Can I use a slicer? - It's up to you.

Don't cut your finger.

Be careful.

Angle it this way... That's right.

It works better that way.

Let's stir fry it next.

It's making me cry.

Let's turn on the fan for ventilation.

How high? 860 degrees.

Do I just leave it?

Yes. But check it once in a while.

Put some aluminum foil on it if it gets too dark.

Today, we had doria sauce for only one person.

But usually, you should double the amount.

So, I'm going to write down the recipe using doria sauce for 2 people.

Menu. Doria, Koya tofu with Chinese cabbage and eggs

When it boils, add the Koya tofu.

Can you remember how to do this?

Add Koya tofu...

You see?

What do you want to cook next week?

How about... fish?

What kind of fish do you have? Did I see a mackerel in the freezer?

Let's make boiled mackerel with soy sauce, and miso soup.

4 PM to 5 PM today, right?

Home Helper Services Log

OK. See you.

How're your symptoms lately?

Symptoms...? I hear voices every day.

And I don't know what I'm capable of at any moment.

I can't predict what I'll do in just a few minutes.

Something in my lead, I call it "the invader,"

...might take over, and do something beyond my control.

Hail Amida Buddha

It's not so often... maybe once every five years,

...something happens where I can't control myself.

But it really does happen.

And I'm responsible for it.

For example?

Well, I fear that I might commit a crime.

In other people's eyes,

...there will be no doubt that I'm the one who did it,

...so I’ll be held responsible.

Nobody will say that “the invader” in my head committed the crime...

...because I actually did it.

If I end up in court,

...I'm ready to take responsibility.

If you keep your room clean, you may feel better. You know?

Do you want to try cleaning the floor?

Let's try it here.

Only the entrance area, okay?

You could lose some weight doing it, too.

Try just that area.

Only a little bit.

Let's lose some weight.

You'll be slimmer before you know it.

You did a great job.

It looks beautiful.

What an accomplishment!

You haven't done that in a while? No, because I was hospitalized.

I think it's clogged inside.

- Inside the pipe? - Yes.

Yeah, since it looks fine on the outside.

How're you doing?

I can't open it.

You can't?

Do you want to use chopsticks?

Just stick it in there.

I got it open.

Stir it.

Nothing's coming out.

Nothing? No.

Then, it must be deeper.

Take a bath once in a while. Okay.

It's 3:00 PM.

You're right. Time to fill it out.

Today is the 19th...

What time do you usually wake up? Six o’clock.

- In the morning? - Yes.

So early. What time do you go to bed? Two o’clock.

- That’s late. - I can't sleep.

That's tough.

I'll seal it.

- I’ll see you next week. - Yes.

Okutani will come on Friday.

Be well. Try to lose some weight.

See you.

Thank you.

Home Helper Services Log

She can use up to 10 hours of housekeeping services.

Yotsuya's next.

Absolute God, Buddha, Human Existence...

Excuse me. Where's the nearest bank?

Well, you go past the convenience store, and just go straight.

Hello, this is Sasaki speaking.

You had fun eating tangerines?

That's a unique way of having fun.

And it was at midnight?

Thank you for dinner. It was delicious.

No problem at all.

No... well, you can call me whenever you want.

Why? Please don't be sorry.

OK. Thank you very much. Bye.

Was that a patient?

Yes. I visit her home once a month. It's hard for her to visit here.

She doesn't have friends and she's around the same age as me.

So, I visit her just to have fun playing cards, taking a walk,

...having dinner together, singing Karaoke.

Royal Copenhagen is over with? Yeah.

How about this Noh theater event? The admission is included.

What're you looking for?

Many patients have a hard time enjoying their weekends.

So, we make a list of events and put it up on the board.

What aspects do you consider when looking for such events?

The cost.

It's no good if it's too expensive.

It would be best if it's a free event.

Hopefully with a free drink!

How is the financial situation of this clinic?

Financial situation?

Dr. Yamamoto is too generous sometimes.

For example, he often doesn't charge for psychotherapy.

I don't think we're making too much money.

I think he does this as kind of a hobby.

It's surviving only because his salary is so low - l00,000 yen a month.

100,000 yen a month?

Yes. It used to be zero.

Am I revealing too much?

We have too many employees.

That's right.

The cost of keeping us is significant.

But Dr. Yamamoto wants to have enough people to serve the patients.

Otherwise, we couldn’t spend enough time...

...on the phone or in the waiting room.

A regular clinic has fewer staff.

Do you receive enough salary?

Yes, more than the doctor.

The doctor receives his pension now.

He has pension, salary, and some lecture fees?

But he lectures at places...

...that are so low budget that other doctors would refuse.

Visiting Nurses Training Course

Could you please turn the paper over?

And draw what I say without asking me any questions.

Draw a square.

On top of that, draw three circles evenly.

Are you done?

Compare it with other people.

Inside the square?

That's the point!

Or above the square?

You see?

You drew quite differently than each other, right?

This is the result of one way communication.

The best thing is to ask the patients.

They're ignored by everybody, and then they think of themselves as worthless.

I think your work is so important.

I have a question.

I visited a patient who had broken bones.

And my task was to do some rehabilitation.

But when I met her,

...I found out that she got injured while trying to kill herself.

The doctor who asked me to help rehabilitate her...

...isn't a mental health specialist.

But, obviously the patient is mentally ill.

And nobody in her family wants to talk about it.

It's like a taboo.

And, since she jumped from the second floor of the house,

...her mother doesn't want her to do the rehabilitation work...

...which involves going up and down the stairs.

But the patient wants to do the rehabilitation.

So, I'm torn in the middle.

In such a case,

...you may want to support what the patient wants.

But, it's difficult because the parents usually have some power.

So, little by little,

...you want to let the patient make her own decisions...

...by asking what she wants to do.

It's important to support her...

...so she can be an independent person.

My heart is like this glass.

This glass emits something different from normal glass.

It emits kindness.

The Chinese character for “kindness” is...

...a combination of “man” and “grief”

The more grief you have, the kinder you become.

OK, cut!

What the hell...

What the hell was that?

If you analyze the Chinese characters for "hypocrite"

...it means “doing something for others”

If you think you're doing something for other people,

...it means you're a hypocrite.

If you think you're doing something for yourself,

...or for God, or for Buddha,

...you may be doing an actual good thing.

The best thing you can do to heal your own mental wounds is...

... to take care of other people’s wounds.

I'm sure you have that kind of experience?

If you listen to somebody else's problems,

...your own heart will also be healed.

Cut!

I have a chopstick here.

Could you send some psychic power towards me?

Oops, you saw how it works!

I can be a steam train.

Like this.

I'm a steam train, shuppo, shuppo, shuppoppo!

Mother Theresa gave this great prayer by St Francis of Assisi.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love,

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is discord, harmony;

where there is sadness, joy;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is darkness, light;

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be understood,

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in loving that we are loved;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

When you are as great as Mother Theresa,

...some pretty evil thoughts surface in your head.

It's written in the Bible,

So I find this to be a principle.

when I want to do what is good, evil is right there with me.

In other words, if you are a policeman,

...you can't be just “good” to fight evil.

In order for you to fight and control evil,

...you need to be somewhat evil, too.

You know what I mean?

OK, cut.

Have you known Dr. Yamamoto for a long time?

Yes, for 25 years.

How did you meet him?

When I was in high school, I studied for 18 hours a day,

...without sleeping much.

Since there are 24 hours a day,

...there were only 6 hours left to do everything else,

...such as sleeping, commuting, and taking a bath.

I continued that routine for 6 months,

...and one day, I finally collapsed.

It was too much.

Then, when I took tests at high school,

...I didn't write any answers to the questions.

Instead, I gave each teacher a grade and submitted it.

Like, “I give you 70 points because the way you teach is pretty good”

Or, “I give you 30 points because your jokes really suck”

And the teachers started saying that I'm insane.

They thought I had gone crazy. So, I met Dr. Yamamoto.

Back then, you could graduate high school if you attended at least 75 days.

So, Dr. Yamamoto told me to aim for that,

and he prescribed some drugs.

But in those days, the side effects of drugs were horrible.

I got terrible headaches which felt like my head was being hit by a hammer.

And I couldn’t speak at all because it gave me a stutter.

Meanwhile, Dr. Yamamoto kept telling me,

“You should take your time. Live like a turtle, not like a rabbit”

Then, I entered a college majoring in social services.

But I worked too much there, too.

I worked as a truck driver during the day,

...and took classes at night. It was too much, and I fell apart again.

That was in Nagoya.

I had only 20 or 30 yen Left in my wallet,

...so I made a collect call to Dr. Yamamoto.

He remembered me even though we were out of touch for a year.

He asked me “Sugano, how are you doing?”

I said "I only have 20 or 30 yen left."

Then he said “OK, I'll come see you tomorrow”

I didn't know what he meant by that,

...but the next day, I got a phone call from him.

He said “I'm in front of a pachinko parlor. Where's your apartment?”

I rushed to the pachinko parlor, and I couldn't believe my eyes.

He was standing there!

He came all the way to Nagoya, just to save one person.

So, whatever happens, he is my only doctor.

I lowe him so much.

I won't be able to live if I forget about this.

OK, cut!

This gentleman, his name is Iku Miyake. He's a great man.

Just like Dr. Yamamoto, he's considered a goliath.

He was the top student at Asahi High School for 3 years,

...entered Tokyo University, but quit because it was full of idiots.

Then, he entered Okayama University, a top medical school.

But he worked too hard, and became sick.

Since he is the “Black Jack” of Chorale,

...if I ever get lung cancer,

...I'd ask him to do a transplant operation.

He has no license, but he's a great doctor.

He's a graduate of Okayama Univ.

“Black Jack” of Chorale.

But he's expensive. How much do you charge?

Unlike me, he is a man of few words,

...a Japanese man from the good ol' days.

That's his style. He's so cool, isn't he?

How much will you give me for today's lecture? 10 yen? 20 yen?

Or, you can just give me chocolate for Valentine's Day.

Cut.

Actually, I need some money to fix my teeth.

I can't speak clearly because of many bad teeth.

Give me some to fix my teeth.

For 40 years I've been dealing with my illness.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 20, and I’m now 60 years old.

What's the purpose of your film? Any theme?

Well, I feel that for healthy people,

...the world of mental illness is hidden behind a curtain.

Aha.

Filmmaker Soda shoots mentally ill patients. So, my purpose is to get rid of this curtain...

So, my purpose is to get rid of this curtain...

Film shoot by Soda in progress. So, my purpose is to get rid of this curtain...

Film shoot by Soda in progress.

Film shoot by Soda in progress. ...and see what’s going on behind it. I'm curious.

...and see what’s going on behind it. I'm curious.

I understand that healthy people put a curtain on mentally ill patients.

But the sad thing is that sometimes,

...we patients isolate ourselves from regular people with a curtain, too.

In my case, when I was 25, I got rid of the curtain, or the prejudice inside me.

People certainly have prejudice against us,

...but I thought I can at least get rid of my own prejudice against myself.

How did you actually get rid of that?

Well... I don't know how to put it.

But, when my condition was getting better,

...I started to understand regular people better.

I asked myself, "It’s true I’m mentally ill,

...but if you're healthy, does that mean you're perfect? '

I realized that not one person in this world is absolutely perfect.

It doesn't matter if he's healthy or sick,

...but nobody as a whole person is perfect. Nobody.

A person might be labeled “healthy”,

...but he definitely has some shortcomings...

...just like I have my illness.

When I realized this,

...I thought I could contribute to society in my own way.

For example, in the company I worked for,

...I decided to compensate for what other people weren't good at.

That's the way I've been fighting.

That's the way I've been living.

Chorale Okayama

I'm joining a band.

What band?

A music band.

A patients' band? No, a regular one.

You're brave.

- Is it risky? - No.

When I joined a local volleyball team,

...it was hard because I was always worried about...

...the way they thought of me.

I became too paranoid to enjoy volleyball.

So, it didn't last too long.

I'm impressed to hear that you're gonna join a band.

You may be right though.

Healthy people have no mercy sometimes.

Unlike people here, they don't know how we are.

Now I'm getting worried.

I'm sorry.

No, it's fine.

At that time, besides volleyball,

I was hoping to train myself to regain my self-confidence...

...to live and work in regular society. But...

I see...

I'm thinking of joining a band.

But as I was speaking to a friend of mine,

...I kind of got scared because...

...it might be tough for me to deal with regular people.

You'll be just fine.

But somebody told me I'm brave.

Until then, I didn't realize it was a brave thing to do.

I think you should cherish your own desire.

I'm worried that people might keep their distance.

I don't think they will.

The most important thing is that you enjoy the music.

Right.

You join a band to enjoy music, right?

I kind of lost my self-confidence.

I feel like I can't get along with regular people anymore.

They're not so different from you.

By the way,

what do you think of me registering as “disabled” to receive benefits?

It might be beneficial if you don't have any prejudice against doing that.

It depends on how you feel.

If you feel that you're not different no matter what your status is,

...I recommend that you register.

If your status affects low you perceive yourself, then you shouldn’t register.

Mr. Soda, can you get me some soda?

Soda, soda, please buy us some soda.

I'd like to show this to you, Soda.

These are photos I took.

Who's this?

My mother in law.

That's right.

This... is my mom. She passed away 1 3 years ago.

This is my white snake. He's eating a mouse.

Is he really eating it?

Is it alive?

Are they dead? Frozen? Do you buy them? Wow!

These... are dandelions. Look at how short their stalks are.

They're stepped on so many times, but strong enough to survive.

Can you please read my poem?

Me?

Lily bells blossomed in the garden

So small and white

Just like you

So modest they're looking down

Lily bells, lily bells

Listening closely

I hear your kind voice ringing

in my ears

This one has no photo.

Sorry

I wish I could suffer instead of you

Sorry

Wow... It's touching. It's touching.

"Now"

I'm living now

That's enough

That's everything

This is young Sugano.

What?

He resembles the actor Masaki Kanda.

He... certainly has changed.

Too bad.

He does resemble the actor.

Wow, Dr. Yamamoto! Let's read this.

"Diamond"

To make a diamond shine,

You need an even stronger diamond, I realized

Our own Dr. Yamamoto.

He's divine.

Greater than Buddha.

"Smile"

If everybody smiled

how peaceful it would be

That's why I smile

Starting from today

This is also young Sugano.

I can't believe they’re the same human being.

"Feeling"

Instead of text books

I put my frog in the backpack, and went to school

I don't want to forget that feeling

Is this you, Sugano?

Wow.

"Wild Flowers"

Hit by rain

Blown by wind

More beautiful you became, wild flowers

We already read this one?

"Mother"

12 years have passed since my mom died

I'm hungry, Mom

I love that.

It's great.

Did we read “Jekyll and Hyde” ? No.

"Jekyll and Hyde"

Jekyll and Hyde

When will you leave me alone,

Mr. Hyde?

We've read that.

"Mother Theresa's Card"

The fruit of silence is prayer

The fruit of prayer is faith

The fruit of faith is love

The fruit of love is service

The fruit of service is peace

You're smart, Sugano.

No, this is Mother Theresa's. She put these words on her card.

Is that so? It’s so awesome.

"Thank you"

Since my cross is too heavy

Many people help me carry it

Thank you

I love this picture.

The fingers support each other.

"Thank you"

I hear your voice

Carried by the wind

Thank you

Such a beautiful sound

I didn't understand it yesterday

Let me say it, too

Thank you

Do I read this?

Wow, “root” ?

"v9"

v9=±3

+3 is right

3 is also right

Different answers

Different opinions

Can both be right, I realized

Aha. That makes sense.

That's it.

Thank you very much.

I couldn't pronounce, "root"

Sugano, you're such a great poet!

You've got to publish this.

It'll sell.

No way.

How about self publishing?

No way. I'm 2 million yen in debt.

Why are you telling us?

"Judgment"

Why do you have to feel so ashamed?

Why can't you be free?

Why?

It's probably because you're judging yourself in your mind

Look at the picture.

Can I read my tanka?

Of course!

Stroking my head I praise myself for living until today

Stroking my head I praise myself for living until today

It's so tough to live honestly feeling the cold despise from society

It's so tough to live honestly feeling the cold despise from society

Awesome.

Can I read my haiku? Sure!

Bitten by a mosquito I want a bite of pork curry

Oof!

Pastel

Hello... My number is 1 77... What the hell?

You need one more digit? It's a 9 digit number, right?

Application for city housing

Are you accepting applications for housing for the disabled?

So, you want me to visit you for nothing?

You want me to waste my time, huh?

You know, actually, I can't buy National Health Insurance,

...because I don't have a certificate of residence.

In short, what would happen if I received beggar benefits?

You got me right. Beggar benefits.

You have an office for that, right?

Yeah.

So what I'm saying is... Hey, you!

Hello. I need a certificate of income.

I don't remember the address I put when I paid taxes.

It was not a regular residence.

To be frank with you, it was my “second home”

You know there's a prison in Naka district?

That's where I was at.

Alright.

Mr. Takada, we're closing.

Hello. Is Hidaka there?

My name? Just give me Hidaka.

Aha. Then, do I have to visit you myself?

Can't it be a substitute?

So, you're suggesting that I escape from the institution, huh?

You got me right. Escape from the institution.

I'm locked up in a hospital, you know?

As I said yesterday, I can be totally reckless if I want to.

What I'm saying is... that I wasn't arrested.

So, they can't investigate that.

You mean, that document? The one you left me?

What do you want me to do? You want me to pay, huh?

As I said yesterday, I don't have a driver's license.

I don't have health insurance, either.

No. Nothing.

I just don't have any ID, whatsoever.

Why do you have to make a copy? That violates my privacy.

You can't copy that unless I allow you to.

No Smoking Please close the door

Well, I was just saying I'm Koda,

...but it doesn't mean I'm Koda.

They're telling me I have to hang up.

Do whatever.

I'm taking off.

OK. Take care.

You dropped something?

No, just throw it away.

I don't need it anymore.

Take care.

Are you staying at a capsule hotel?

No. They refused to take me because of my shoes.

See you.

MENTAL

In Memory of Itsuko Kishimoto, Ikuo Miyake, Kikuyo Nishimura

Cooperation Chorale Okayama Kicchako Pastel Mini-Chora Kita Hureai Service Center Okayama Kango Kenshu Center

Dr Masatomo Yamamoto Shinya Yamamoto Akiko Yamamoto Hiroko Kashiwagi Toshio Kashiwagi Masao Soda Hiroko Soda

Production Associate Kiyoko Kashiwagi

Directed, produced, shot, and edited by Kazuhiro Soda

Producers wish to thank everybody who appeared in the film

Japanese subtiles Kyoko Kashiwagi English subtitles: Chad Diehl