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1
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:31,498
Every family has a good egg
and a bad egg.
2
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:35,568
It can be hard
to tell which is which.
3
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,469
Sometimes, you have to eat both
to find out.
4
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,413
Who wants eggs?
Me.
5
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,016
Okay, ladies, today is a day
that will live in infamy.
6
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:50,376
[ Sighs ]
7
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,519
My older sister, Barbra,
is coming to visit.
8
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,749
Barbra?
Isn’t she in jail?
9
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,123
Was in jail.
10
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,558
I didn’t know
you had a sister.
11
00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,727
Only by blood.
I identify as an only child.
12
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,257
Every time my sister
comes to visit,
13
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,197
she makes my life
a nightmare.
14
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,867
Well, I, for one,
can’t wait to hate her.
15
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:11,037
Nothing brings women closer
together than a common enemy.
16
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,205
Hey, there,
little sis.
17
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,478
Barbra,
how did you get in here?
18
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:20,147
I changed
all the locks.
19
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,616
I always carry
my own knob.
20
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:27,486
Oh, I’m Barbra,
but you can call me Babs.
21
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:31,217
Both: I’m Debra,
but you can call me Dabs.
22
00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:33,060
Barbra,
why are you here?
23
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:36,029
Why are any of us here,
man?
24
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,698
Other than to love.
25
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:38,728
That’s my chair.
26
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:41,101
You can stand,
right?
27
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,736
Yes.
I love standing.
28
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:46,866
I don’t know if you remember,
but I actually won best stander.
29
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:48,041
I’ll go get
the trophy.
30
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,111
Ooh, I think Debby needs
a chill pill.
31
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,511
Am I right?
32
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,412
[ Whispers ] This whole place
is bugged.
33
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:58,151
[ Laughs ]
I’m not scared of her.
34
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:00,951
You know she wet the bed
until she was 43?
35
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,456
Wait,
how old is Debra?
36
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,826
You know, Debra took
a chicken nugget to prom.
37
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,126
[ Laughter ]
38
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,857
Both:
Chicken kisser, chicken kisser.
39
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,600
Well, did you guys know that
Barbra went to jail for arson?
40
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:18,939
Yeah, Arson was my ex,
and I burned his house down.
41
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,439
Cool.
42
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,840
Did he die?
Was he nice?
43
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,443
Why don’t I tell you
all about it
44
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:30,050
over a hot, steaming mug of beer
and a cup of cold corn?
45
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,619
Uh, they can’t. We’re actually
really busy eating eggs,
46
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:34,688
and it’s gonna
take all day so...
47
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,256
[ Whining ]
Please let us go.
48
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,356
[ Whining ]
We’ve been so good.
49
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,188
What are you,
their mother?
50
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:44,698
No.
I’m their neighbor.
51
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,166
Come on, Dabs.
52
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:52,105
♪
53
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:58,035
♪
54
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,646
Barbra.
55
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:03,046
♪
56
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,680
Hey!
57
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,187
Hey, everybody,
Barbra’s back!
58
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,357
All: Barbra!
59
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,057
Did you miss us,
Barbra?
60
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:16,730
How could I
not miss that?
61
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:21,068
Everybody, give a nice,
warm welcome to my new friends,
62
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,336
Debra and Debra.
63
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:25,036
All: Deb, Deb, Debra!
64
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,268
Oh, play nice, boys.
65
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,677
This is
their first rodeo.
66
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,377
Let’s get our girls
some shots, eh?
67
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,080
What’ll it be?
Whiskey, tequila,
68
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,183
rabies, Gardasil?
69
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,786
[ Both gasp ]
70
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:41,486
Both: Gardasil!
71
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,658
Stick with me, ladies.
72
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,788
The only rule is
there are no rules.
73
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,263
And cash only.
74
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:51,531
Follow me.
75
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:55,769
You haven’t seen fun
until you’ve seen darts.
76
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:59,239
All: Yeah!
77
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,769
Welcome to
the circus.
78
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:06,146
[ Cheering ]
79
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:13,116
♪
80
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:20,090
♪
81
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,629
[ Both vocalizing ]
82
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:26,399
♪ Debra, Debra, Debra,
Debra, Debra ♪
83
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,799
Understudies,
it’s your lucky day.
84
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:28,835
You’re on in 5.
85
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,395
[ Both gasp ]
86
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:33,039
Thank you, 5! Thank you, 5!
87
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,539
I think it’s time I told you
the real reason
88
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,277
why I brought you here.
89
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,045
I want you to be part
of my crew.
90
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,545
But we already
have a crew.
91
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,877
We’re Debras.
We don’t take that lightly.
92
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:48,588
Why be a Debra when
you could be a Barbra?
93
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:51,118
When you put it like that,
I’m in.
94
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,325
Me too.
How do we join?
95
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:55,295
It’s easy.
Come with me.
96
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,601
Oh, sorry.
97
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,311
[ Giggles ]
98
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,943
And acting.
99
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,248
[ Clears throat ]
100
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,517
Okay, ladies,
today is a horrible day.
101
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:20,587
My older sister, Barbra,
is coming to visit.
102
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:23,687
Ew, Barbara.
She makes me sick.
103
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,826
You are objectively
better than her.
104
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,556
I want her dead
and in the ground.
105
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,497
Thank you for this
beautiful brunch.
106
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,867
I’m excited to do
whatever you want today.
107
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:38,068
Good.
108
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,006
Mmm.
109
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,336
Scene.
110
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,878
Oh, you were
brilliant back there.
111
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,708
I really believed
you were at brunch.
112
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:50,283
I’ve been meaning to ask.
Did your boyfriend get his PhD?
113
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,751
This isn’t working.
114
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:53,119
You’re just agreeing
with everything that I say.
115
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,755
We’re just working with
the material you provided.
116
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,455
We are more than happy
to improvise.
117
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,457
Look at this.
I’m a cat.
118
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:00,789
Oh, my God.
119
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,163
It’s not about the script,
which is perfect.
120
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,598
I’m perfect.
121
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:07,698
It’s about the authenticity
of the characters,
122
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,135
and I realize now
the only people
123
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:14,005
that could pretend to be
my friends are my friends.
124
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,167
You’re dismissed.
125
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,811
Oh, this is
actually perfect.
126
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,279
I have a big audition
at 4:00.
127
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,579
Oh, I’ll drive you.
128
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,849
Oh, you’re the best,
thank you so much.
129
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,679
Can we take the freeway?
Yeah, absolutely.
130
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:27,387
I can tell
they’re really hurting.
131
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,217
They’re really good actors,
132
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:34,027
and I’m really good at writing,
directing, and producing.
133
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:37,097
♪
134
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:41,267
[ Laughs ]
135
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,636
I don’t understand.
136
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,596
What could a convicted felon
possibly want
137
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,040
from the Lemoncurd
Treasure Museum?
138
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,270
I will tell you.
139
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,044
Your first and final task
is to steal
140
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:55,114
the Lemoncurd
Declaration of Independence.
141
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,483
Steal it?
142
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,051
But it’s the most heavily
guarded artifact
143
00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,551
in all of Lemoncurd.
144
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,922
It’s from when Lemoncurd
seceded from the whole world.
145
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,089
Plus, it’s illegal.
146
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,319
What if we get caught?
147
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,726
Do you want to be
a Barbra or not?
148
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:15,566
♪
149
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:18,668
Oh, my God.
There it is.
150
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,340
But how are we ever
going to get to it
151
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,008
without
tripping the alarm?
152
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:27,278
♪
153
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,180
What about this?
154
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:37,791
♪
155
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,327
Oh. I thought that sign
was a joke.
156
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:47,397
♪
157
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,400
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go!
158
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:57,310
♪
159
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,079
‐Barbra. Barbra.
‐Barbra. Barbra.
160
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,609
Barbra, we did it.
We committed the crime.
161
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,083
Can we be Barbras now?
162
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,417
Nice work, ladies.
163
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,847
[ Sirens wailing ]
Wait.
164
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:09,589
Barbra, why are you
running away from the police?
165
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,489
Come back.
You’re my best friend!
166
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,625
You’re under arrest.
167
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:16,725
No, no,
you’re not being nice!
168
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:21,428
Where is she?
Where is Barbra?
169
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,702
She’s long gone.
170
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:25,038
What did she do
with my Debras?
171
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,568
You mean the Barbras.
172
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,673
They’re in the slammer.
173
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,411
I knew something like this
would happen.
174
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,751
Everything Barbra touches
goes to jail.
175
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,285
[ Shivers ]
176
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,745
I’m freezing.
177
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:44,057
I’m shivering.
It’s so cold.
178
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,026
Jail is hell.
179
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,356
We should probably
just die here.
180
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:52,365
[ Coughs ]
181
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,025
This is all
Barbra’s fault.
182
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,069
We should have
never left Debra.
183
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,399
[ Doorbell rings ]
You got that right.
184
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,106
Both: [ Gasp ] Debra!
185
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,766
You came back for us!
186
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,511
I had no choice.
Your understudies were horrible.
187
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,611
And brunch wasn’t
the same without you.
188
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,113
Let’s get you
out of here.
189
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,883
How did you
get past the guard?
190
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,083
If somebody would have told me
I’d lose my virginity today,
191
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:15,055
I would have worn
different pants.
192
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,524
Now, let’s go get
my backstabbing sister.
193
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,534
I know just where
to find her.
194
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:25,531
Barbra,
stop right there!
195
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:27,167
It’s too late.
196
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,336
I’ve got the Declaration
and the fastest mode
197
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:33,506
of transportation known to man
at my disposal.
198
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,336
You’ll never catch me.
199
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:38,378
Why do you always come back
and try to ruin my life?
200
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,808
Because
you’re a control freak
201
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,348
who thinks she’s better
than everybody else.
202
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:45,818
Then I’m the one thing
you could never control.
203
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,519
Well,
that’s where you’re wrong.
204
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,155
You’re under arrest.
Oh?
205
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,785
You better say oink
’cause the pigs are here
206
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:53,830
to take you to the pen,
you stinky, pink bitch.
207
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:58,761
How dare you
utter my birth name
208
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,867
in front of
my best friends?
209
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,697
Her name is
Stinky Pink Bitch?
210
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:06,906
No wonder
she smells like shit.
211
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,636
Both: She’s a stinky pink bitch
who smells like shit.
212
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:13,146
[ Laughs ]
Take her away!
213
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,606
Forget the pig stuff.
214
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,449
We’re taking you to fish jail.
215
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,879
Aaah!
216
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:22,489
‐Whoo! Yeah!
‐Yes! Yeah!
217
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:25,489
Now, who wants to eat
the Declaration of Independence?
218
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,532
Way ahead of you.
219
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,762
Now, that’s amore.
220
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:34,701
[ Laughter ]
221
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:44,210
♪
222
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:53,550
♪
223
00:10:53,553 --> 00:11:03,103
♪
15383
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