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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,258 So, last night was fun. 2 00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:52,552 -It was really fun. -I had a really good time. 3 00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,556 Well, good-bye for real. 4 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,141 Yeah. 5 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,810 -I'm starving. -I could go for some breakfast. 6 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,604 Do you wanna go get something to eat? 7 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,272 Definitely. 8 00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,191 -I'll just get my jacket. -Yeah. 9 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:12,530 Mmm. 10 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,453 I did. I hung out with the crudites table all night, 11 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:19,913 trying to work up the courage to talk to you 12 00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:21,372 because I knew you'd be back. 13 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,666 I kept going back to the crudite table, 14 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,210 trying to get you to notice me. 15 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,962 I noticed you the moment you walked in the door. 16 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,422 What's your last name? 17 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,674 Why? So you can Google-stalk me? 18 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,094 No, I just wanna know what to put in my phone. 19 00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:38,515 Oh. I'm not giving you my phone number. 20 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,108 You've made a huge mistake. 21 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,319 I knew it. I felt it in my gut. 22 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,250 -Oh, shit. -What? 23 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,710 I forgot that I made plans with my friends today. 24 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,212 Yeah, yeah, yeah, go to your friends. 25 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,380 It's not a big deal. 26 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,257 Unless you want. I could stay. 27 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,800 -This was fun. -Oh. 28 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,343 -I should go. -Do you wanna stay? 29 00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:16,678 Oh... Okay. 30 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,477 What is that? 31 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,272 -What? -That face. 32 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,524 Is that your "I wanna kiss you" face? 33 00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:31,192 -No. -Oh. 34 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,236 Oh. Wait. Unless... 35 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:34,946 Unless what? 36 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,282 What does your "I wanna kiss you" face look like? 37 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,576 It looks a lot like this. 38 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,925 You are unbelievable. 39 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,476 You are literally unbelievable! 40 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,436 If I told someone, 41 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,687 "This is what Leilani said to me," they'd be like, 42 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,022 -"I don't believe you." -Who are you? 43 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,732 -You're not even upset! -Why would I be upset? 44 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,150 Because it's fucked up. 45 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,777 Don't do this. Don't make this a whole global thing-- 46 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,905 -I'm upset. -I thought you were kidding. 47 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,115 Why would I possibly be kidding about something like this? 48 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,199 Oh, my God! 49 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,701 Okay, he's up now. 50 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,578 You think we would win The Amazing Race! 51 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,164 -You don't? -You think, in a game show 52 00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:28,166 about a race around the fucking world, 53 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,126 you and me would come out on top. 54 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,003 I did, but now I'm not so sure. 55 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,630 We can't even agree on a restaurant. 56 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,715 We can't agree on a restaurant because you have a problem 57 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,759 with every restaurant in New Orleans. 58 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:40,094 The restaurant capital of the world, and you can't decide. 59 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,639 Actually, Hong Kong is the restaurant capital of the world. 60 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,851 I just don't want you to embarrass yourself in front of your friends 61 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,020 by getting these pretty basic facts wrong. 62 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:51,648 I don't hate restaurants. I like restaurants. 63 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,734 You literally spent several hours yesterday writing a negative Yelp review 64 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,236 with your white-woman fingers 65 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,154 about that tapas place we went to, 66 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,280 and I thought it was pretty tasty. 67 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,657 It was very salty. 68 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,409 I didn't know I would get mouth-fucked by the Dead Sea!. 69 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,536 And I don't have white-woman fingers. 70 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,871 I've got meaty bronze. 71 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,790 Why are you being so loud right now? Okay? 72 00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,333 Do you want the neighbors to think we're crazy? 73 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,335 Who cares what the neighbors think? They don't know us. 74 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,046 Hi, nice to meet you! We're fighting! 75 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,340 No, we're not! We're rehearsing a play! 76 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,675 It's a fight scene. 77 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,218 How's this? 78 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,428 It's fun. 79 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,055 It's fun? What do I look like, Chuck E. Cheese? 80 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,724 But sexy. You're like Fuck E. Cheese. 81 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,313 By the way, you know you can't have your cell phone on those shows, right? 82 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,564 You'd lose your mind. 83 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:36,025 No, I wouldn't. I'd be liberated without that thing. 84 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,655 -I'm good. -You wanna get that? 85 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,615 ♪ Nope, I'm good! ♪ 86 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,034 Oh, my God, what if somebody liked something on Instagram? 87 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,037 - Tsk. 88 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,163 Shut up. You don't know me. 89 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,624 It's Val. She said I look thicc. 90 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,585 Mmm-hmm. Another reason we wouldn't win that show, 91 00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:58,339 you can't take selfies when you're half naked, eating ants off a stick. 92 00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,757 Do you even watch the show? 93 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,094 Have I seen The Amazing Race? 94 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,929 This is literally the question you're asking me right now? 95 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,222 That's what I'm asking you. 96 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,975 You're asking me, Jibran, have I seen The Amazing Race? 97 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,144 Uh-huh. 98 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,563 You've spent this entire time judging this show 99 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:14,647 and you've never seen an episode? 100 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,816 I don't need to see something to know I would hate it, okay? 101 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,651 I've never been hit by a truck, but I know it would suck! 102 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,445 -Wow! -I don't wanna rot my brain 103 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,155 watching that reality show garbage. 104 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,449 You make documentaries, okay? 105 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,701 Those are just reality shows that no one watches. 106 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,119 Documentaries are not reality shows. 107 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:29,787 Documentaries are reality. 108 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,540 Okay? My work is social activism. 109 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,708 I don't do it for the RTs. 110 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,668 You don't have to say RTs. 111 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,003 Just say retweets, Dad. 112 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:38,338 Can we please go? 113 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,631 The later we are, the longer we'll have to stay. 114 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,092 What's the rush? It's not like we're doing anything exciting afterward. 115 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,802 I thought we were gonna have sex. 116 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,096 Oh, yeah, 'cause nothing gets me hotter 117 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,891 than a plan in the day to have sex at night. Whoo, freaky! 118 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:52,018 You want freaky sex? We could do freaky sex. 119 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,519 Just let me know what you want me to do 120 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,688 and I will do it to you at the designated time. 121 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,274 That is the antithesis of freaky sex! Okay? 122 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,318 Just schedule me in your calendar. 123 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,779 "Intercourse with Leilani at 10:42." 124 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,030 -Super sexy. -Okay. 125 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:07,075 Freaky sex and scheduling are not mutually exclusive, okay? 126 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:10,078 You think people just randomly show up at the same time for an orgy? 127 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,788 No, they probably share a Google Calendar. 128 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,289 No, I think it's spontaneous. 129 00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,124 One guy comes, and another guy comes. 130 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,376 They show up and they have sex. 131 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,004 It's a bunch of guys there, why wouldn't you have sex with them all? 132 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,549 Okay, there's a lot to parse through there, 133 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,844 but you're talking about a gang bang, I'm talking about an orgy. 134 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,012 Tomato, tomahto. 135 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,306 And where are you getting your group sex information? 136 00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:31,808 -BuzzFeed? - I don't know! 137 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,695 So, who's gonna be at this dinner-party thing? 138 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,989 Um, Bobby and Reya. 139 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,617 Val... 140 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,079 I think maybe Keith, Stefan... 141 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,997 -Um... -Oh, you think maybe Keith? 142 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:56,999 Yeah, maybe. 143 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,918 As if you're not 100% sure he's gonna be there? 144 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,711 I'm not sure. I'm not. 145 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,380 Oh, yeah? You wanna bet? 146 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,007 I bet he's gonna be there with his fucking lame jokes 147 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,592 and his boring IT stories and his... 148 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,471 beach muscles he gets from diligent exercise and diet. 149 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,474 -Are you done? -Hate to burst the Keith bubble, 150 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,227 but all those hilarious jokes that he does? 151 00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,896 Katt Williams. They're Katt Williams' jokes. 152 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,773 You're saying that he steals his jokes from Katt Williams? 153 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:21,774 Exactly. 154 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:25,403 "How do you know it's nice to meet me? I'm an asshole!" 155 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,238 That's Katt Williams, word for word. 156 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,781 That doesn't even sound like Katt Williams. 157 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,074 Well, I'm not gonna use the voice. 158 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,410 To win The Amazing Race, you need to be a team, 159 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,703 you need to be on the same page. 160 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,123 I feel like I'm on one page of the book and you're, like, reading a magazine. 161 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,375 Yeah. I would love to be on the same page as you, 162 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,878 but you're always locked in your office editing that movie. 163 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,129 It's not a movie. 164 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,466 This is a documentary about corruption in the educational system. 165 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,301 How would I know? You won't even show it to me. 166 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,052 -I'll show it to you whenever you want. -Been working on it forever. 167 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,471 Okay, great. How about tomorrow? 168 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:54,265 I can't do it tomorrow. I'm rendering the animation. 169 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,686 Steph and George are getting married? 170 00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,271 Did you just like that? 171 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,231 Yeah. 172 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,236 -What happened to "marriage is bullshit"? -It is. 173 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,489 Okay. Well, then why did you like it? 174 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,949 Because I didn't wanna be the only one out of our friends 175 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,784 to not like it. I'm not a hater. 176 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,995 Okay. Since the day we've met, 177 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,623 you've talked about how you think marriage is fucking lame. 178 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,708 I didn't say "lame." I said "problematic." 179 00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:23,961 Right. Two people declaring their eternal love for each other. 180 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,338 How problematic. 181 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,715 You know what I think? I think you do want all that stuff. 182 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,301 Marriage and kids. You just don't want it with me. 183 00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,221 And I think that you just want someone with no expectations, 184 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,015 so you can sit in that room by yourself for the rest of your life. 185 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,558 I think you just want a relationship 186 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,976 that you can brag about to your friends. 187 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,229 Yeah, I do! And I'm not willing to settle. 188 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,480 I don't wanna settle, either. 189 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,358 That's why I don't wanna be with someone who's so fucking shallow. 190 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,362 And I don't wanna be with someone 191 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,697 who's so satisfied with being a failure. 192 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:03,876 -I can't do this anymore. - This isn't working. 193 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,095 Are we done? 194 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,472 I think we've been done for a while. 195 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,064 - Oh, fuck! - Shit! 196 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,359 - Oh, fuck. Uh... - Shit. 197 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,863 -Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Uh... 198 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,949 -Uh, are you okay? - You okay? 199 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,535 Oh, there's blood. Here, let me help you up. 200 00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,161 No, no, you probably shouldn't move him. 201 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,371 Oh, right. Yeah. 202 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,456 -I'm gonna call 911, okay? -No, no, no! 203 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,041 I'm fine. I gotta go. 204 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,167 You're bleeding, you're not fine. 205 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,711 - Are you sure? -I gotta go. I gotta go! 206 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,212 Oh. 207 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,550 Uh... I don't know if that's a good idea, man. 208 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,719 -Thank you. -I'll call 911. 209 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,471 Wait, wait, wait! Wait! You forgot your phone! 210 00:09:58,723 --> 00:09:59,890 Oh, my God. 211 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,484 -I need your car! -What? 212 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,236 I'm a police officer and he's a criminal! 213 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,904 Move the fuck over! Get in the back! 214 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,281 Move, move, move! 215 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:16,949 Hold on. 216 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:21,996 -Where'd he go? -Huh? 217 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,331 -Where'd he go? 218 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,666 -He went that way! 219 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,960 East! East! Uh, suspect headed eastbound. 220 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,801 What did he do? Was it drugs? 221 00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,511 It was drugs, huh? Are you undercover? 222 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,639 You can't tell us if you're undercover, huh? I get it. 223 00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,599 At least we didn't hit a good guy, right? 224 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,268 It's not good that we hit someone, but at least we hit a bad guy? 225 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,520 Yeah, who rides a bike in this part of town? 226 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,105 Yeah, where do you think you are, Europe? 227 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,402 Sorry, we'll be serious. 228 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,529 Right there! There he goes! 229 00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,700 Off the sidewalk, asshole! 230 00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,166 Turn, turn, turn! 231 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,043 We got him. Yes! 232 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,880 - Shit! 233 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,425 Rats! Right? 234 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,219 Wait, if you make a left up here, you can cut him off. 235 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,804 Oh, good idea. Oh! 236 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,390 - Yep! -Whoo. 237 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,894 -There he is, over there! -Oh! Oh! 238 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:29,688 Oh. 239 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,357 Fucking jaywalkers. 240 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,489 Shit, he's going in circles! What an idiot! 241 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,494 - Turn! Turn! - Turn! 242 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,205 There, there, there! Go, go, go! 243 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,289 He turned the corner! 244 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,083 Go down this alley, it's a dead end! 245 00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:52,086 Ho, ho, ho! Justice! 246 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,720 Oh, my God! 247 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,114 Um... 248 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,326 -Oh, oh... 249 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,793 -Oh, my God. 250 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,517 I don't think he's a cop. 251 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,170 Oh, my God. 252 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,005 Hello? 253 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,299 I think he's fucking dead. 254 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,384 Oh, shit! 255 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,179 - What the fuck? -Oh, my God. 256 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,060 Oh, my God, what did you do? 257 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,605 -Oh. Oh, no, no, no. -Oh, oh-- No, no, no. 258 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,689 This isn't what it looks like. 259 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:36,774 We didn't kill him. 260 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:38,359 You hit him with your car, man. 261 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,069 No! I mean, yes, I did, but-- 262 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,238 -No, that was-- That's all. -That was a while ago. 263 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:43,322 Oh, my God, oh, my God. 264 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,659 After I hit him, he was alive and, like, great. 265 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,494 Not "great." He wasn't having the best day, 266 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,995 but he has been breathing since then. 267 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,247 He's fucking dead! 268 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,457 We know he's dead, but we didn't kill him. 269 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,667 He just said he killed him. 270 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,961 No. I said I hit him with my car. 271 00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,755 -Clearly it worked. You killed a guy with your car, man! - Okay, but, no, wait. 272 00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:01,590 -We hit him earlier and then we were just drivin' to... - I was driving, 273 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,384 -and we broke up, and I got distracted... -...Bobby and Reya's house. 274 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,301 ...and I ran through a red light... 275 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,219 -But a moustache came in... - But then this guy 276 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:06,637 with a weird moustache... No, we hit him earlier. 277 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,305 I helped him a little bit with my map, 278 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,807 which I admit was definitely a mistake. 279 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,642 He took our car, he ran over him like a dog-- 280 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:12,893 We need to call the cops. 281 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,979 And then back and forth ten times 282 00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,605 and now I've got a dead guy's blood on me 283 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,107 and my car's a fucking murder weapon! 284 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,984 -What are you doing? -I'm calling 911. 285 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,402 Please don't do that. We would never hurt anyone. 286 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,279 I'd like to report a murder or whatever. 287 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,697 We didn't murder anybody! 288 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,532 -Yeah, stop. - You stop! 289 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,993 Oh, my God, the police aren't gonna believe us. 290 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,661 Do you know how stupid we sound? 291 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,330 -This is a citizen's arrest. -What is that? 292 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,540 It's an arrest from a citizen. 293 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,624 Can you do that? 294 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,960 -Can he do that? -On the count of three. Okay? 295 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,044 On the count of three, what? 296 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,129 What is that face? 297 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,381 I can't read your face! Just say it. 298 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,465 On the count of three. 299 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,175 -What? What? -One, two, three, go! 300 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,594 The guy just ran for it. 301 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:47,678 Jibran! 302 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:48,804 Okay, the guy's name is Jibran. 303 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,472 Run, Leilani! 304 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,891 And the girl's name is actually Leilani. 305 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,267 Shit. 306 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,102 She's-- She's running too now. 307 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,104 She just happens to be African-American 308 00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:59,356 and he just happens to be a person of color as well. 309 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,774 But I don't, like, think they're murderers 310 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,651 because they're minorities. I think they're murderers 311 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,278 because they literally just killed a guy 312 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,946 -and he's laying here. -Oh, fuck. 313 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,459 Hey. 314 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,295 Are you okay? 315 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,758 - Nosebleeds. - It's house painting with red paint. 316 00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,552 We were painting the kitchen blood colors? 317 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,601 What can I get for you guys? 318 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,227 Do you have alcohol? 319 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,647 -Two, please. -Two. 320 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:40,731 Two what? 321 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,150 Two alcohols, please. Thank you so much. 322 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,945 We don't serve alcohol. 323 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,368 We have to go to the police. 324 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,078 Us? 325 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,538 You and me? 326 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,290 How do you think that's gonna go? 327 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,334 It's the best bad idea. 328 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:03,128 No, it's not. They're gonna arrest us in two seconds. 329 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,005 Maybe we just tell them the truth. 330 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,465 Do you think the police care about the truth? 331 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:07,549 Do you think they're gonna give us 332 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,051 the benefit of the doubt? 333 00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:10,761 -But what else? -Jibran, 334 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,930 the truth sounds crazy. 335 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,015 What are you gonna say to them? 336 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,434 "Hello, Officer. 337 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,771 We are turning ourselves in for now, 338 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:23,190 because we have nothing to hide." 339 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,109 "Then why'd you run from the scene of the crime?" 340 00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,402 "Good question, Officer. 341 00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,821 That's why you're good at your job. 342 00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,907 It's because we looked guilty. 343 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,160 Which was scary for us, because we are not guilty. 344 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,746 So, in a way, us running only proves that we are--" 345 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,082 "That's me covering up my bodycam, 346 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,918 so I can beat your ass, you fucking liar." 347 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,671 -Okay. Okay. Done? -Nope. 348 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,758 That was me throwing the book at you. 349 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,720 You know there's no real actual book, right? 350 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,722 "So you left a man dead in the street?" 351 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,349 -"We did not leave him dead." -"And didn't call the police?" 352 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,476 "Because there was no time, because we had to--" 353 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:01,770 "Brown man, you sound crazy." 354 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,689 -"Don't say that." -"You look like a murderer to me." 355 00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,566 -"Don't say that." -"Look at your murderous beard 356 00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,359 and your murderous brow." 357 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,819 You said you liked the beard. 358 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,113 Your beard looks like murder. 359 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,163 - Don't. - Hello? 360 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,789 Leilani, where the fuck are you guys? 361 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,375 I'm so sorry. We bumped into an old friend. 362 00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,711 -And... -Still at home. 363 00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,088 we were going back and forth with him several times. 364 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,173 Can you tell them to grab some wine 365 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,549 We don't have any white for Evonne. 366 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:33,552 Hey, can you pick up a bottle of pinot? Grigio, not noir. 367 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,220 Sure, we'll bring a bottle over. 368 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:36,847 Great. See you in a bit. 369 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:41,060 -What's going on? -They're acting weird. 370 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:42,728 How you know it's nice to meet me? 371 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,730 -What if I'm an asshole? 372 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,398 You're hilarious. 373 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,662 This silver milkshake container 374 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,581 is such a thing, you know? 375 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,166 They're always like, "We made too much, 376 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,709 so here's the extra and the container 377 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:06,794 that we made it in." 378 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,587 They can't just measure it out? 379 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,589 Huh? 380 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,966 They don't do that with other stuff. 381 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,885 They're not like, "Well, here's spaghetti 382 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,845 and here's some more spaghetti on the side. 383 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,223 We made too much for the spaghetti plate. 384 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:20,974 Here's soup. 385 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,851 We didn't wanna measure it out early on, 386 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,269 and here we are." 387 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,146 Like, what the fuck? 388 00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,607 -It's crazy. -It's so crazy. 389 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,944 Not the extra milkshake container. 390 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:43,372 Is this Leilani Brooks? 391 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,374 Who is this? 392 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,835 This is Detective Mary Martin of the New Orleans PD. 393 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,253 Hi, Detective. 394 00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:51,839 Ma'am, have you driven your vehicle at any time today? 395 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,843 No, not-not today. Mmm-mmm. 396 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,177 Can I ask where you are right now? 397 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,595 She's asking where I am right now. 398 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,013 - Hang up. -Home. 399 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,266 I'm home. Just chilling. 400 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,393 Are you saying that your vehicle is at home as well? 401 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,769 - Hang up. -Yes! 402 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,356 If I just go to my window right now, I should see-- 403 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:11,483 Oh, my God. 404 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,861 Honey, wasn't our car parked outside? 405 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:14,987 This is crazy, Detective. 406 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,698 I must have left the keys in the ignition. 407 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,616 Can I get you two anything else? 408 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,285 Is that a waitress? 409 00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:23,287 Ma'am, where are you right now? 410 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,455 We'll get the check. 411 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,543 We're so fucked! 412 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:30,961 No, we're not. 413 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,297 We just have to lay low 414 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:37,176 and keep a low profile until this blows over. 415 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,594 I don't think-- 416 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,471 Murders don't blow over, Lei. 417 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:42,556 Yes, they do. 418 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,225 If the police find the guy that they're looking for. 419 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,019 You and me are the guy they're looking for. 420 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,646 You know that song "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do"? 421 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,191 We're the bad boys. What are we gonna do? 422 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,026 Yeah, I know that song Who Let the Dogs Out. 423 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,986 And I'm always like, who did let the dogs out? 424 00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,863 Are we just talking about songs that we remember? 425 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,031 You started it. 426 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,118 Bicycle guy's phone bing-bonged. 427 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,494 It just made a bing-bong sound. 428 00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,747 Oh, don't touch it! That's evidence! 429 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,498 I've been touching it the whole time. 430 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,503 It's his calendar. "Edie at Dragon's Den." 431 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,422 Wait. This Edie person 432 00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,674 obviously knows Bicycle, right? 433 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:21,845 -What? -So what if she knows who wanted to kill Bicycle? 434 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,014 Oh. Okay, so you're suggesting 435 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,350 we actually go out there and solve a-- 436 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,310 murder? That's what you're suggesting? 437 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,270 Kinda. 438 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,730 Who the fuck do you think we are? 439 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:32,856 Hobbs and Shaw? 440 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,149 We're not even a couple. 441 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,651 We couldn't figure out our relationship. 442 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,237 You think that we're gonna figure out who killed Bicycle? 443 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,200 We did break up, right? 444 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,328 Yeah. 445 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:47,621 Okay. 446 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,749 Jibran, all we need is a name. 447 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:52,334 We get Mustache's name, 448 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,962 we take it to the police, and then we're in the clear. 449 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,130 We have ten minutes to get there. 450 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,800 I don't think this is a good idea at all. 451 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,678 I know you're scared, Ji, and I'm scared, too. 452 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,012 But... 453 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:08,016 What a sweet baby. 454 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,726 Woof-woof. 455 00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,272 Can we try Edie? See if she can help us? 456 00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:16,149 Okay. 457 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:17,359 But if you're wrong and we spend 458 00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,819 the rest of our lives on death row, 459 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:19,945 I'm gonna be so pissed at you. 460 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,738 That's fair. 461 00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,994 - Oh, my God. 462 00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,495 It's the police. 463 00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:31,039 -Don't answer it, ignore it. -Right, right, right. 464 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,083 Right, right. 465 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,169 Why do they still have the cigarette lighter? 466 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,338 Like, just make it a power outlet 467 00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:39,548 at this point, you know? 468 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,383 Like, who's like, "I'm operating a vehicle, 469 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:42,968 I want to introduce fire into this--" 470 00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,554 Jibran, please. No more milkshake monologues, 471 00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,431 -okay? -Right. 472 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,017 Excuse me, sir, this isn't our destination. 473 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,939 -Are you Leon? - Yes, sir. 474 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,567 - Dope. 475 00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,488 You ordered a Lyft share. 476 00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,241 I just have it set on that option by default. 477 00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:09,870 You're amazing. 478 00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:11,788 Oh, you're amazing. 479 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,540 But you're like amazing-amazing. 480 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:14,708 No, you are. 481 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:15,917 I miss you when we're together. 482 00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:18,128 Like, right this second, 483 00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:20,797 I am sitting next to you and I miss you. 484 00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:22,549 Aw, baby. 485 00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:25,052 So, we're gonna go to this spot 486 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,303 and find this Edie person 487 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:29,181 -and then see what happens. 488 00:22:29,806 --> 00:22:31,975 How are we gonna know who Edie is? 489 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:35,270 I don't know, we just go up to her and ask if-- 490 00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:39,149 I love you more than I love my mom! 491 00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:41,151 Shut the fuck up! Okay? 492 00:22:41,234 --> 00:22:42,319 It's all kissy and huggy now, 493 00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:44,529 but it all comes crashing down. 494 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,114 Okay? 495 00:22:50,994 --> 00:22:53,663 All right, here we go into the Dragon's Den. 496 00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:55,415 It'll be fine. We got this. 497 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,837 It's not that bad. 498 00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:02,798 We just gotta find her. 499 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,216 Okay. Yeah. 500 00:23:05,258 --> 00:23:07,594 We just act super normal, okay? 501 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:09,346 Yeah. 502 00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:12,349 We're normal. Just normal people. 503 00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:15,352 Coming to a bar. 504 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,818 We should not have come here. 505 00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:25,737 You say that anytime we go anywhere with people. 506 00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:28,031 I was talking about the sense of impending doom 507 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,283 that's growing in the pit of my stomach right now! 508 00:23:30,617 --> 00:23:32,744 I'm just saying. If I never made plans, 509 00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,037 we would never go anywhere. 510 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,706 Congratulations, you made plans and this happened. 511 00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,515 Okay, act normal. 512 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:55,142 - Love dancing. - Whoo! 513 00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:56,560 Normal-people shit. 514 00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:07,445 That has to be her. 515 00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:09,114 Okay, what do we do? 516 00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:12,284 We should go over there, right? 517 00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:29,759 Edie? 518 00:24:31,052 --> 00:24:32,137 Edie. 519 00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,930 - Edie? 520 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:35,557 Stop talking. 521 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,392 Come with me. 522 00:24:41,104 --> 00:24:43,356 Who are you? He sent you? 523 00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:44,774 Yeah. Um... 524 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,194 Jibran, why don't you explain? 525 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:50,238 Um... There's sort of not a good starting point. 526 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,574 He wants to be unprofessional and send two strangers 527 00:24:52,657 --> 00:24:54,784 instead of coming himself, that's fine. 528 00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:56,578 Let's just do this and be done with it. 529 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,246 We just had a question, and we wanted to know 530 00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,331 if you know a guy with a mustache? 531 00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:00,415 We don't know what's going on. 532 00:25:00,498 --> 00:25:01,750 Know a guy with a mustache? 533 00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:04,419 Okay, drop the act. It's unbecoming. 534 00:25:04,502 --> 00:25:06,463 There's a way to do this that's respectable. 535 00:25:10,967 --> 00:25:13,428 And this? This is not that. 536 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,232 Hand 'em over and this can all end. 537 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:26,650 -What? -Oh, no. 538 00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:29,069 The pictures. Give me the envelope. 539 00:25:29,402 --> 00:25:30,737 -What pictures? - Oh, no. 540 00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:32,489 You guys think you're the only ones 541 00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:34,366 who can dig up a little dirt? 542 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:37,661 I know who your boss is. 543 00:25:37,744 --> 00:25:39,537 We don't have a boss. We don't work together. 544 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,164 We don't know what pictures you're talking about. 545 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:43,833 I'm a documentary filmmaker, she works at an ad agency. 546 00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:45,377 You remember that commercial where the guy's a nerd 547 00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:46,670 and then he uses this body wash 548 00:25:46,753 --> 00:25:48,380 and all the girls, like, wanna fuck him? 549 00:25:48,463 --> 00:25:50,173 -That was her idea! -That was my idea. 550 00:25:50,257 --> 00:25:51,258 It was based on a true story. 551 00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:52,801 This guy was really nerdy at my college, 552 00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:54,135 and he would smell good and then I was like, 553 00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,220 "I like him now." 554 00:25:55,303 --> 00:25:56,888 She didn't like the way a guy looked at college, 555 00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:59,015 and then he smelled better and then she fucked him! 556 00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:01,101 But it's fine, and we don't know anything! 557 00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:02,602 Oh, yeah, right. 558 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:04,396 You showed up at the designated time 559 00:26:04,479 --> 00:26:05,605 and place of the exchange. 560 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:06,898 Yeah, because of this guy's phone 561 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:07,983 and it bing-bonged your name! 562 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,442 We were just trying to go to our friend's dinner party. 563 00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:10,860 We have nothing to do with anything. 564 00:26:10,944 --> 00:26:14,281 We just answered a bing-bong! 565 00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:17,450 -Jibran. Mmm-mmm. -Huh? 566 00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:19,619 -She's not buying it. -Oh, okay. 567 00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:21,621 Let's take the guesswork out here. 568 00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:24,916 You said that this gentleman's not your boss 569 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,501 -and you don't even know him? -Uh-huh. 570 00:26:26,584 --> 00:26:29,879 Oh. Why don't we just call him and see what he has to say? 571 00:26:29,963 --> 00:26:31,381 -Okay. Great. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, call him. 572 00:26:31,464 --> 00:26:33,550 - Mmm-hmm. 573 00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:39,055 Oh, no. 574 00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:41,141 It's not what you think. 575 00:26:41,224 --> 00:26:43,435 Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining. 576 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,312 -Why would we do that? -We would never do that. 577 00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:47,647 If she pees down your back, she's gonna say it's pee. 578 00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:49,399 You think you can fuck with a congressman 579 00:26:49,482 --> 00:26:51,943 and get away with it? You got another thing coming. 580 00:26:54,362 --> 00:26:56,364 -Oh, no! -Oh! What the fuck? 581 00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,576 Did you just tell them I'm a congressman? 582 00:27:00,493 --> 00:27:02,162 - I-- -Come here. Real quick. 583 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,290 I'll be right back. 584 00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:10,295 What's happening? 585 00:27:10,378 --> 00:27:11,379 Can you get out? 586 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:13,048 This is fucking insane. 587 00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:14,466 Take that damn mask off, Brett. 588 00:27:14,924 --> 00:27:16,217 Are you okay? 589 00:27:17,093 --> 00:27:18,678 Well, it still doesn't seem like a good idea. 590 00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:20,013 My husband. 591 00:27:20,096 --> 00:27:22,557 He was just about to get me my pan. Right, hon? 592 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,516 I thought we agreed 593 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,684 we weren't really gonna do the pan. 594 00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:27,187 You go get me my goddamn pan! 595 00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:29,939 Hey, just to clarify, we're not blackmailing anybody. 596 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:31,316 Excuse me, what is "the pan"? 597 00:27:31,399 --> 00:27:34,861 You tried to fuck us. Now you're gonna get fucked. 598 00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:36,446 Yeah, okay, your premise is wrong 599 00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:37,697 because we didn't try to fuck you. 600 00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:38,907 And we don't wanna get fucked. 601 00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,909 - No. - Mmm. 602 00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:43,912 I just love the smell 603 00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:46,373 of sizzling bacon, don't you? 604 00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:49,376 The only problem is the grease! 605 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,252 Y'all ever see a bad grease burn? 606 00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:55,048 It is remarkable the damage a little hot oil can do. 607 00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:57,842 I'm gonna give you both a choice, okay? 608 00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:01,304 All the grease in this pan, 609 00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:04,349 or what's behind this door. 610 00:28:05,308 --> 00:28:06,976 -What? - I said, 611 00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:08,895 bacon grease 612 00:28:08,978 --> 00:28:10,355 or door. 613 00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:11,648 It's up to you. 614 00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:14,275 And you're first, Mr. Bing-Bong. 615 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:15,568 Take the grease. 616 00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:18,613 Are you serious? It's boiling hot grease. 617 00:28:18,696 --> 00:28:20,240 And she could pour the grease on my face! 618 00:28:20,323 --> 00:28:22,075 Edie, may I ask a question? 619 00:28:22,158 --> 00:28:24,285 Do I get to know prior to making my decision 620 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,662 where you'll be pouring the grease? 621 00:28:25,912 --> 00:28:28,706 Um, yeah, it'll probably most definitely be your face. 622 00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:29,791 Thank you. 623 00:28:29,874 --> 00:28:31,584 She said probably my face. 624 00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,169 She's obviously trying to scare you 625 00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:34,921 into choosing something worse. 626 00:28:35,004 --> 00:28:37,298 We're single now. I have to go out into the dating world. 627 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:38,842 How do you think I'm gonna do on Bumble? 628 00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:40,135 Scars are super sexy. 629 00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:41,344 Oh, you like burn scars? 630 00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:43,596 After this, I'm gonna seek out a guy with a burnt face. 631 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,848 You promise? 632 00:28:44,931 --> 00:28:46,224 I'm gonna stalk your Facebook so hard. 633 00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:47,767 And if you're not with a fucking burn victim, 634 00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:49,519 I'm gonna be so very upset. 635 00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:50,812 Well, thanks for reminding me to block you. 636 00:28:50,937 --> 00:28:52,230 I'm blocking you right after this. 637 00:28:52,313 --> 00:28:53,356 Let's make a decision here, all right? 638 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,191 My husband and I have plans tonight. 639 00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:58,027 I'll go with not the grease. I'll go with the door. 640 00:28:58,194 --> 00:28:59,863 -Jibran! -Door it is. 641 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:01,406 Tell him what they've won. 642 00:29:01,489 --> 00:29:03,241 No, no, no, no! Jibran, press your feet! 643 00:29:03,324 --> 00:29:04,492 I am! I'm planting my feet! 644 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:05,702 Stop it! Leave him alone! 645 00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:07,996 - Open the door. - Yep. 646 00:29:15,128 --> 00:29:16,755 Is it gonna shit on me? 647 00:29:25,138 --> 00:29:26,681 Take the grease. 648 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,016 It's your turn, little missy. 649 00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:29,559 The grease! The grease! I take the grease! 650 00:29:29,809 --> 00:29:31,770 A lady who knows what she wants. 651 00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,355 Ow! 652 00:29:35,273 --> 00:29:37,108 No, no, no! No, no, no! 653 00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,654 No, no, no, no, no! 654 00:29:41,821 --> 00:29:43,490 Okay, let's see-- 655 00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:50,497 Come on, help, help, help me, help! 656 00:29:50,997 --> 00:29:52,874 Oh, God. Honey, are you all right? 657 00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:54,000 - No! 658 00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:07,889 Stay back! Stay back! You stay back! 659 00:30:07,972 --> 00:30:09,098 -You ready? -Yeah. 660 00:30:09,182 --> 00:30:11,017 One, two, three-- 661 00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:13,978 Where are you going? 662 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,357 - Whoa, honey! 663 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,375 What the fuck just happened? 664 00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:36,626 Dude, I said, "One, two, three," 665 00:30:36,709 --> 00:30:38,461 and you, like, ran. 666 00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,088 Yeah, 'cause that's what you did in the alley. 667 00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:41,172 You kinda set a precedent. 668 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,173 That's what I was going off of. 669 00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:43,383 Yeah, but I assumed you assumed 670 00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:46,177 this time it would be like, "One, two, three, attack." 671 00:30:46,302 --> 00:30:47,720 Why would I assume that? 672 00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:50,098 Because we had weapons? I don't know. 673 00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:53,351 I never want to see a horse again in my life. 674 00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:00,400 Thank you. 675 00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:10,076 What, I look stupid? 676 00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:12,078 Kinda like unicorn throw-up? 677 00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:13,454 No, you look... 678 00:31:14,455 --> 00:31:15,665 the opposite. 679 00:31:16,624 --> 00:31:17,750 Unstupid. 680 00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:24,549 Are you okay? 681 00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:26,843 Yeah, I'm fine. 682 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,638 It just hurts a lot right where the horse kicked me. 683 00:31:33,182 --> 00:31:35,018 Uh... Come with me. 684 00:31:37,353 --> 00:31:38,605 It looks okay? Ow. 685 00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:39,689 -If you could-- -Sorry. 686 00:31:39,772 --> 00:31:42,317 stop tapping right where the wound is. 687 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,860 I'm just trying to help. 688 00:31:43,985 --> 00:31:45,069 Okay. 689 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:46,696 Come on, let's do this. 690 00:31:46,779 --> 00:31:48,740 Okay, okay, okay, okay. 691 00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:53,536 I can't. 692 00:31:53,828 --> 00:31:55,788 I'm just gonna wear this shirt for the rest of my life. 693 00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:57,749 No, you're not. Stand up. 694 00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:02,462 Uh, raise your arms. 695 00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:07,675 Okay. One, two, three. 696 00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:19,270 Can I just say this is 697 00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:20,855 the most batshit crazy night ever? 698 00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:22,440 You've never been framed for murder 699 00:32:22,523 --> 00:32:23,566 and tortured with bacon grease? 700 00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:26,694 Really? 701 00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:27,987 -It just-- -Really? 702 00:32:28,571 --> 00:32:30,990 -Just be so gentle. Just-- -Okay, I'm sorry. 703 00:32:32,575 --> 00:32:34,202 -I didn't even touch you. 704 00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:48,925 I ordered us a Lyft. 705 00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:51,719 I hope you changed your settings. 706 00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:05,316 You probably don't remember this, but, 707 00:33:06,567 --> 00:33:07,568 our first date, 708 00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:09,404 that restaurant, 709 00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,407 there was this couple sitting next to us, 710 00:33:12,615 --> 00:33:13,825 and they didn't talk the whole-- 711 00:33:13,908 --> 00:33:15,118 I remember them. 712 00:33:15,618 --> 00:33:16,953 -You do? -Yeah. 713 00:33:17,453 --> 00:33:19,747 They didn't say anything to each other the entire time. 714 00:33:20,123 --> 00:33:22,041 You know, I think about them all the time. 715 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,127 'Cause I was looking at them 716 00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:25,920 like I never want to be that couple, 717 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,047 you know, that runs out of stuff to talk about. 718 00:33:28,339 --> 00:33:29,549 But then the more I think about them, 719 00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:31,009 the more I'm like... 720 00:33:32,468 --> 00:33:34,262 maybe they weren't miserable. 721 00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:36,139 You know? Maybe they were just 722 00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:38,725 comfortable with each other. 723 00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:48,276 So my theory about Edie obviously didn't pan out. 724 00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:51,237 Maybe you were right. 725 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,156 Maybe we should just go to the cops. 726 00:33:54,615 --> 00:33:56,117 I found something. 727 00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,119 What? 728 00:33:59,954 --> 00:34:02,248 The piece of paper that Edie had with Bicycle's number? 729 00:34:02,498 --> 00:34:03,958 It has an address on it, too. 730 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,418 What? When did you get this? 731 00:34:05,501 --> 00:34:07,462 I was thinking, maybe Mustache killed Bicycle 732 00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:09,839 because of those pictures that Edie was talking about. 733 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,799 So if we can find those pictures, 734 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:12,884 figure out what they are, 735 00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:14,260 maybe we can exonerate ourselves. 736 00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:16,554 Mustache was clearly looking for something, 737 00:34:16,637 --> 00:34:18,681 and Edie was very upset about those pictures. 738 00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:20,141 -It's a clue, right? -Yeah! 739 00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:21,309 I did a clue. 740 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:26,481 Should we go to that address? 741 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,942 You know this is actually illegal, right? 742 00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:32,028 Breaking into Bicycle's house? 743 00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:33,863 Are you sure? 744 00:34:34,989 --> 00:34:36,365 Are you? 745 00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:37,450 Yeah. 746 00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:39,994 - Oh, that's our guy. 747 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,502 Oh, shit. 748 00:34:51,839 --> 00:34:52,840 Shit. 749 00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:55,468 He knows it's us, he totally knows it's us. 750 00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,011 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 751 00:34:57,095 --> 00:34:59,889 Shit, he's totally onto us. He's onto us, he's onto us. 752 00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,144 Oh, he's just a regular racist. 753 00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:07,021 -Thank God. -Let's go. 754 00:35:21,285 --> 00:35:22,995 - Shit. 755 00:35:23,871 --> 00:35:26,165 -What? -How are we gonna get up there? 756 00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:27,750 -What? You just-- 757 00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,628 Did you think it was one of those "Men Only" doors? 758 00:35:30,711 --> 00:35:31,712 Sorry. 759 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,215 Maybe... 760 00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:35,883 Maybe there's one of those, like, 761 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:36,968 catwalk things around the side-- 762 00:35:37,051 --> 00:35:39,554 A "catwalk"? You mean like for fashion shows? 763 00:35:39,887 --> 00:35:41,180 Do you mean a fire escape? 764 00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:43,975 Why are you making jokes right now? This is serious. 765 00:35:44,058 --> 00:35:45,143 Okay. Okay. 766 00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:48,646 Yeah. Break the glass. You go. 767 00:35:48,729 --> 00:35:50,273 -Me go? I'm wearing heels. -You're wearing heels. 768 00:35:50,356 --> 00:35:52,191 Right. The icepick part will stab the glass-- 769 00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:53,818 The "icepick part"? Do you mean 770 00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:55,278 the heel? 771 00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:56,779 Yes, the pointy heel part of the shoe 772 00:35:56,863 --> 00:35:58,573 will break the glass. It'll go right through it. 773 00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:02,034 No, no. Use your shoulders. Break the glass. 774 00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:04,620 I just got kicked by a horse. 775 00:36:04,745 --> 00:36:07,206 Can I take five minutes off from, like, bashing myself? 776 00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:08,833 -Okay, I'm sorry. -Okay. 777 00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,921 I'm just concerned the heel's just gonna snap off. 778 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:15,506 No. Not if you do it exactly perpendicular, 779 00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:16,841 'cause it's a small surface area. Pressure is-- 780 00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:18,676 Okay. How do you know that? 781 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:20,970 MythBusters. 782 00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:23,723 So you do like reality shows. 783 00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:26,100 Eh, it's more of a docuseries. 784 00:36:31,522 --> 00:36:32,773 -Ow! Oops. - Oh! 785 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:34,609 Ow! 786 00:36:34,692 --> 00:36:36,819 I remember now. That myth got busted. 787 00:36:43,075 --> 00:36:44,744 ...reportedly ran over the cyclist 788 00:36:44,827 --> 00:36:45,912 multiple times. 789 00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:47,121 Two witnesses at the scene 790 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:49,248 are currently being treated for emotional distress. 791 00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:54,795 I think this is it. 792 00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,554 What if there's someone in there? 793 00:37:03,638 --> 00:37:04,972 Looks empty. 794 00:37:05,723 --> 00:37:06,891 Right, 'cause it's probably empty 795 00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:08,976 'cause it's Bicycle's apartment and he's... 796 00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:10,603 -Yeah. -dead. 797 00:37:10,686 --> 00:37:12,313 Yeah, I was there, Jibran. 798 00:37:12,605 --> 00:37:14,732 -Just try the window. -Okay. 799 00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:18,402 It's locked. 800 00:37:18,569 --> 00:37:20,571 Okay, your turn to kick it. 801 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,031 My shoes aren't made for kicking. 802 00:37:22,114 --> 00:37:23,866 Yeah, neither were mine. 803 00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:26,410 In my defense, 804 00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:27,995 the heel on the kicking shoe didn't break off, 805 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,080 it was the heel on the standing-- 806 00:37:29,163 --> 00:37:30,164 Jibran, I will throw you down this catwalk. 807 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,416 I shouldn't have said that. Sorry you broke your shoes. 808 00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,460 Thank you, they were my date shoes. 809 00:37:34,543 --> 00:37:35,878 I didn't know you had date shoes. 810 00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:38,005 I got 'em for you. 811 00:37:41,467 --> 00:37:44,637 Can you kick this in quietly, please, since I'm barefoot? 812 00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:46,681 Okay. Okay. Okay. 813 00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:50,142 Okay, okay, here we go, here we go. 814 00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:56,357 What? What are you doing? Are you knocking? 815 00:37:56,565 --> 00:37:59,235 No! I just wanna pull back so I don't cut up my hand. 816 00:37:59,318 --> 00:38:00,653 I make my living with these hands. 817 00:38:18,212 --> 00:38:19,422 Shit. 818 00:38:29,765 --> 00:38:31,475 Help me, help me, help me. 819 00:38:33,060 --> 00:38:34,103 -Ow. 820 00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:41,110 -You okay? -Yes, I'm okay. 821 00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:43,070 -Okay. 822 00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:53,080 -Wait, you hear that? -Hear what? 823 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,707 That. 824 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,752 There's, like, music happening. 825 00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:01,922 -We should go in there. -What? No. 826 00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:03,716 What else are we gonna do? Go back outside? 827 00:39:03,799 --> 00:39:06,385 Okay, okay, okay. We're just gonna take a peek. 828 00:39:19,523 --> 00:39:20,524 What is-- 829 00:39:20,608 --> 00:39:23,110 No, dude. Shut the fuck up, okay? 830 00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:24,445 I remember this shit plain as day. 831 00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:26,280 You were the one that was fucking passed out. 832 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:27,948 Because I-- No. 833 00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:31,827 No, it was me, it was Boyd Ashley. Ashley. 834 00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,287 And I ate that day 835 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,914 'cause I was in a bulking phase. 836 00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:37,583 Who are all these frat dudes? 837 00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:40,002 It's like a roofie laboratory in there. 838 00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:42,671 Those must be the photos that Edie was talking about. 839 00:39:44,548 --> 00:39:46,801 He left one of the envelopes right there. 840 00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:49,303 -We gotta go get it. -Don't do it! 841 00:39:49,845 --> 00:39:51,806 All those fuckboys are in there. 842 00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:53,265 I don't exactly know what that means. 843 00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,142 -Did I use it right? -No, you didn't. 844 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,852 -What are fuckboys? -I'm not having 845 00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:58,813 this conversation right now with you. Okay-- 846 00:39:58,938 --> 00:40:00,314 No, no, no. 847 00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:01,649 No, it's fine, they can't hear us. 848 00:40:01,732 --> 00:40:03,734 The music's too loud. Watch. 849 00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:09,949 We need to go in there, 850 00:40:10,032 --> 00:40:11,325 grab one o' those envelopes, 851 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:12,410 and we figure out what the fuck is goin' on. 852 00:40:12,493 --> 00:40:14,912 But all the Abercrombie & Fitch people will see us. 853 00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:18,249 Okay, okay, okay, we gotta, um... 854 00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:21,252 We gotta come up with a plan to distract them, 855 00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:22,670 pull them out of there. 856 00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:25,297 I got it! You stay here. 857 00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:26,674 I'll gonna go out, ring the doorbell. 858 00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:27,758 I'm gonna say, "Pizza delivery." 859 00:40:30,886 --> 00:40:32,471 Oh, hey, wassup? 860 00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:34,598 Hey, man, it's been a minute. 861 00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,350 Who the fuck are you? 862 00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:38,519 -It's her and me! -Me and him! 863 00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:39,728 Yes! 864 00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:40,813 From, uh... 865 00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,193 - Oh, no. 866 00:40:47,027 --> 00:40:49,238 Get him, Jibran! Fuck him up, Jibran! 867 00:40:49,321 --> 00:40:52,616 -Fuck him up! Fuck him up! -I'm trying! Stop saying that! 868 00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:56,954 Tell me when you want me to jump in. 869 00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:58,998 -You want me to jump in? 870 00:40:59,248 --> 00:41:01,459 This isn't Ultimate Fighting, Jibran. You can't tap out. 871 00:41:08,048 --> 00:41:09,258 I got you! 872 00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:12,470 -You're hitting me! -You're in the way. Move! 873 00:41:12,553 --> 00:41:14,054 Hey, help! 874 00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:15,764 Take that! 875 00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:18,976 Oh. 876 00:41:29,737 --> 00:41:31,113 Fuck! 877 00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:36,368 Who the fuck are you? 878 00:41:38,370 --> 00:41:39,622 Who the fuck are we? 879 00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:43,000 We're the people who want some answers, bitch! 880 00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:46,795 The bigger question is, who the fuck are you? 881 00:41:47,129 --> 00:41:49,298 What are you doing in my fucking room? 882 00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:51,675 Um... We're here... 883 00:41:53,385 --> 00:41:55,721 Ow! Why would you do that? 884 00:41:57,681 --> 00:42:00,309 Yeah... Why would we do that? 885 00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:02,394 That's what you wanna know. 886 00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:04,480 We're asking the questions. 887 00:42:04,605 --> 00:42:06,482 And the answers to our questions 888 00:42:06,565 --> 00:42:07,900 better be answers. 889 00:42:07,983 --> 00:42:09,902 But the answers to your questions 890 00:42:09,985 --> 00:42:11,070 are gonna be my fists. 891 00:42:11,445 --> 00:42:12,446 What? 892 00:42:12,696 --> 00:42:14,365 -Ow! -First of all, motherfucker, 893 00:42:14,448 --> 00:42:16,283 -who do you work for? -Yeah, motherfucker! 894 00:42:16,367 --> 00:42:17,785 I don't know what you're talking about. 895 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,578 Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining. 896 00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:22,164 -Don't do it. Don't do it. -We don't like it. 897 00:42:22,248 --> 00:42:24,124 -Nope. -'Cause we know you're lying, 898 00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:26,377 and then we have piss on our backs. 899 00:42:26,460 --> 00:42:28,045 I would never do that. 900 00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:29,296 So tell us what we wanna know. 901 00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:31,632 Yeah. Do you know Bicycle? 902 00:42:31,715 --> 00:42:34,009 Do I know Bicycle? What does that mean? 903 00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:36,220 -Bicycle! Two wheels? -Handlebars? 904 00:42:36,303 --> 00:42:39,181 -Sometimes there's a basket. -And sometimes there's spokes. 905 00:42:39,265 --> 00:42:42,142 Yeah, ET rode one and flew in it, bitch! 906 00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:44,478 I know what a bicycle is. Do you mean Tom? 907 00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:46,564 I don't know. Do we look like a bitch? 908 00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:48,482 Fine. I work for Tom. 909 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:49,775 Uh, Tom rides a bicycle. 910 00:42:49,858 --> 00:42:51,151 He's like a weird environmentalist. 911 00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:54,822 Is environmentalism weird or is it absolutely necessary? 912 00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:56,949 I recycle everything! 913 00:42:57,032 --> 00:42:58,450 Yeah. Sometimes she'll try and recycle 914 00:42:58,534 --> 00:42:59,910 eggshells and banana peels, 915 00:42:59,994 --> 00:43:01,912 and I'll be like, "That's more compost." 916 00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:04,498 Okay, focus back on me, little Brett Kavanaugh. 917 00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:06,041 What do you do for Tom? 918 00:43:06,125 --> 00:43:07,835 Uh-- Uh-- I'm not supposed to say. 919 00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:09,753 Shut the fuck up and talk, Chug-A-Lug Chuck! 920 00:43:10,004 --> 00:43:11,046 How am I supposed to shut the fuck up 921 00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:13,090 and talk at the same time? That's impossible! 922 00:43:13,173 --> 00:43:15,134 -Figure that shit out! - Figure it out. 923 00:43:15,217 --> 00:43:17,803 Please, all we do is, we stuff these envelopes. Okay? 924 00:43:18,053 --> 00:43:19,305 And then we have to deliver them 925 00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:21,348 -to these, like, rich people. -What rich people? 926 00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:23,475 I don't-- I don't know, okay? 927 00:43:23,559 --> 00:43:25,978 Uh, he works at this, like, uh, club. 928 00:43:26,061 --> 00:43:27,229 And these people are... 929 00:43:27,438 --> 00:43:28,522 These people are dangerous, okay? 930 00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:31,150 You don't want to fuck with these people, okay? 931 00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:34,862 Ow! I have been 100% cooperating! 932 00:43:34,945 --> 00:43:36,780 I don't like your tone, Date Rape McGee. 933 00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:44,413 So tell us where the fuck this club is. 934 00:43:44,496 --> 00:43:46,290 I don't know. Because they don't tell us. 935 00:43:46,373 --> 00:43:47,499 They said the less that we know, 936 00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:48,542 the better, okay? 937 00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:50,377 They only contact him on his phone. 938 00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:57,217 Oh, fuck, Jesus! Please help, help, please! 939 00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,219 Intruders, intruders! Help! 940 00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:00,929 -Oh! - Hi, Steve. 941 00:44:01,096 --> 00:44:02,348 - Please, don't-- 942 00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:04,933 We gotta get out of here. 943 00:44:05,017 --> 00:44:06,477 Come on, this way. 944 00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:36,882 -Shit. 945 00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:41,970 -Hello? 946 00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:45,974 Yeah. I took care of the problem. 947 00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:52,439 Yeah, he's quod mortem. 948 00:44:53,899 --> 00:44:54,983 Mmm-hmm. 949 00:44:57,152 --> 00:44:58,237 I understand. 950 00:45:00,072 --> 00:45:01,073 Yeah. 951 00:45:02,574 --> 00:45:04,701 Yeah, I'll make sure it goes smoothly tonight. 952 00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:07,496 You have nothing to worry about, okay? 953 00:45:07,579 --> 00:45:08,914 Hang on a second. 954 00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:17,548 Go, go, go, go, go. 955 00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:26,098 I can hear you better now. Go ahead. 956 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,164 I just saw two people get murdered. 957 00:45:50,706 --> 00:45:53,876 Until yesterday, I had seen zero people get murdered. 958 00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:56,128 That could've easily been us. 959 00:45:56,211 --> 00:45:58,172 Oh, my God, there's blood on my knuckles. 960 00:45:58,255 --> 00:46:00,466 I left my DNA at the crime scene. 961 00:46:00,549 --> 00:46:03,218 Shit, I left my fingerprints on Date Rape's face. 962 00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:05,888 And now I feel really bad for calling him Date Rape. 963 00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:08,891 The police are gonna think we killed him, too. 964 00:46:08,974 --> 00:46:11,018 They're gonna think we're, like, serial killers. 965 00:46:12,227 --> 00:46:13,645 We gotta figure this shit out. 966 00:46:15,147 --> 00:46:16,648 Open it. Open it. 967 00:46:23,238 --> 00:46:24,656 What is this? 968 00:46:28,660 --> 00:46:29,745 What is this? 969 00:46:31,413 --> 00:46:33,415 "Dear Mrs. Burrows, There are many. 970 00:46:33,499 --> 00:46:34,541 We know you are one." 971 00:46:34,625 --> 00:46:35,834 What else? What else? 972 00:46:40,339 --> 00:46:41,548 That-That's it. 973 00:46:42,090 --> 00:46:44,760 This is like The Amazing Race, but with dead people. 974 00:46:45,511 --> 00:46:46,512 Wait. 975 00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:48,347 We have to get into Bicycle's phone. 976 00:46:48,430 --> 00:46:49,890 He said this is how they contact him. 977 00:46:50,182 --> 00:46:52,518 I'm gonna start guessing passwords. Important dates. 978 00:46:52,601 --> 00:46:54,853 1-4-9-2. Nope. 979 00:46:54,937 --> 00:46:56,730 -1-7-7-6. Nope. -Ugh. 980 00:46:56,813 --> 00:46:57,814 What, are you gonna guess 981 00:46:57,898 --> 00:46:59,733 every impressive date in history? Stop. 982 00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:01,527 Right. He was a bicycle fan. 983 00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:02,986 What was the year that Lance Armstrong 984 00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,780 won his first Tour de France? 985 00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:07,115 -1-9-- -Stop, stop, stop. 986 00:47:07,199 --> 00:47:08,659 Okay? You're gonna lock us out of the phone 987 00:47:08,742 --> 00:47:10,369 and then we're literally gonna have nothing else. 988 00:47:10,869 --> 00:47:11,954 Okay. 989 00:47:13,997 --> 00:47:15,958 I know who can get us into the phone. 990 00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,460 -Who? -Keith. 991 00:47:19,211 --> 00:47:21,588 -Keith? -He's our IT guy, okay? 992 00:47:21,672 --> 00:47:24,091 -Oh, really? -And he's a genius at this type of stuff. 993 00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:26,593 Oh, he's a genius? Wow! 994 00:47:27,052 --> 00:47:28,804 You guys are so lucky to have a genius 995 00:47:28,887 --> 00:47:30,556 working at your office as the IT guy. 996 00:47:30,639 --> 00:47:31,807 I'm not trying to hype him up. 997 00:47:31,890 --> 00:47:33,809 But if anybody can do it, he can do it. 998 00:47:33,892 --> 00:47:36,478 Errol Morris is a genius. JK Rowling is a genius. 999 00:47:36,687 --> 00:47:38,313 You could even say Lil Wayne is a genius. 1000 00:47:38,397 --> 00:47:39,982 But Keith? Fucking Keith? 1001 00:47:40,065 --> 00:47:41,692 What is your deal with him? Why are you so-- 1002 00:47:41,775 --> 00:47:43,360 I don't like the way he looks at you. 1003 00:47:43,735 --> 00:47:45,571 He doesn't look at me like anything. 1004 00:47:46,905 --> 00:47:48,073 Well, then... 1005 00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:51,535 I don't like the way you look at him. 1006 00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:01,086 Look, do you wanna get into this phone or not? 1007 00:48:01,169 --> 00:48:03,130 'Cause this could be our only chance. 1008 00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:12,806 All right. We're gonna go in for five minutes, 1009 00:48:12,889 --> 00:48:14,600 get the phone unlocked, and we are leaving. 1010 00:48:14,683 --> 00:48:15,684 No, wait. 1011 00:48:15,767 --> 00:48:16,852 We can't just go in there 1012 00:48:16,935 --> 00:48:18,812 and ask Keith to hack into a random phone. 1013 00:48:18,895 --> 00:48:20,814 'Cause he's really ethical about this kind of stuff. 1014 00:48:20,897 --> 00:48:23,900 Oh, he's really ethical, but he's okay stealing comedy? 1015 00:48:24,067 --> 00:48:25,611 This guy's a real question mark. 1016 00:48:25,694 --> 00:48:27,738 Help me come up with something believable. 1017 00:48:30,490 --> 00:48:32,492 - Everyone! 1018 00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:34,161 Look who finally showed up. 1019 00:48:34,244 --> 00:48:37,414 -About fucking time! Hey. 1020 00:48:37,497 --> 00:48:39,124 Sorry we're so late. 1021 00:48:39,541 --> 00:48:41,835 -Oh, hey, Keith is here. -Hi. 1022 00:48:42,961 --> 00:48:44,880 Oh, my God, this all looks so good. 1023 00:48:44,963 --> 00:48:47,924 Oh, Reya, you have outdone yourself! 1024 00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:49,343 Oh, my God! 1025 00:48:49,718 --> 00:48:51,345 Did you try this, guys? 1026 00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:54,973 Oh, my God, that is to die for! 1027 00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:57,225 These are some of the best-- things we've had. 1028 00:48:57,309 --> 00:48:58,477 Whoa, it's so fresh! 1029 00:48:58,560 --> 00:48:59,978 So these are red, there's green ones. 1030 00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:01,563 What other pepper colors do you got? 1031 00:49:01,647 --> 00:49:02,564 There's also yellow. 1032 00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:04,650 I wasn't asking you, Keith. I was asking Reya. 1033 00:49:05,025 --> 00:49:06,109 Are you guys okay? 1034 00:49:06,193 --> 00:49:07,486 -Us? -So good. 1035 00:49:07,569 --> 00:49:09,154 -We're fucking great. -A-OK. One hundred. 1036 00:49:09,237 --> 00:49:10,864 And what the fuck are you wearing? 1037 00:49:10,947 --> 00:49:11,948 What the fuck am I wearing? 1038 00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:13,450 What the fuck are you wearing, dude? 1039 00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:15,243 Turtleneck. 1040 00:49:15,661 --> 00:49:17,371 Is that blood on your face? 1041 00:49:17,496 --> 00:49:19,831 And it's a big disgrace. 1042 00:49:20,916 --> 00:49:23,126 We actually do have some news. 1043 00:49:23,293 --> 00:49:24,378 Um... 1044 00:49:24,461 --> 00:49:26,421 -Jibran, tell them. -We box now. 1045 00:49:28,131 --> 00:49:29,299 Boxing? 1046 00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:32,302 We actually just took a class before we came here. 1047 00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:36,223 And Jibran boxed outside of his weight class. 1048 00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:38,058 It was incredible. 1049 00:49:38,141 --> 00:49:40,894 I'm what they call a "bleeder" in the boxing biz. 1050 00:49:41,269 --> 00:49:43,730 They actually said I could never be a professional boxer 1051 00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:45,440 because of how much I bleed. 1052 00:49:45,649 --> 00:49:49,111 So the reason you were late was because you were boxing? 1053 00:49:49,194 --> 00:49:50,654 Yeah! 1054 00:49:51,154 --> 00:49:52,155 Uh... 1055 00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:54,574 Oh, my God, I have such a good idea! 1056 00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:56,410 Do you guys wanna see 1057 00:49:56,493 --> 00:49:58,453 a video of Jibran getting knocked out? 1058 00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:00,122 -Yeah, definitely. 1059 00:50:00,455 --> 00:50:02,290 Pull out your phone, honey. 1060 00:50:05,127 --> 00:50:06,461 Okay. 1061 00:50:07,963 --> 00:50:08,964 What? 1062 00:50:09,047 --> 00:50:12,884 I can't remember my passcode to my phone. 1063 00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:15,095 Oh, my God! Do you think that 1064 00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:16,805 it's all of the hits that you took to your head 1065 00:50:16,888 --> 00:50:17,889 while boxing? 1066 00:50:20,517 --> 00:50:21,393 Is it a new passcode? 1067 00:50:21,476 --> 00:50:23,145 No, Keith, it's not a new passcode! 1068 00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:24,813 Good question, though. 1069 00:50:25,147 --> 00:50:28,442 Oh, my God! Do I have a brain... brain... 1070 00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:30,402 brain injury? 1071 00:50:30,485 --> 00:50:31,945 Call your doctor. 1072 00:50:32,446 --> 00:50:34,531 Yeah, I'll call Doctor... 1073 00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:36,116 You don't remember his name! 1074 00:50:36,199 --> 00:50:37,284 His name is in the phone, 1075 00:50:37,367 --> 00:50:38,618 but I can't get into the phone, 1076 00:50:38,702 --> 00:50:40,370 -so I can't even google it! -How do-- 1077 00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:43,331 If only we could unlock the phone. Oh, no... 1078 00:50:43,415 --> 00:50:45,000 -It's okay. - Huh? 1079 00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:46,543 I can get into your phone. 1080 00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:47,961 Oh, you don't have to do that. 1081 00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:49,838 -I wanna help. -Okay, let's do it right now! 1082 00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,763 This thing's a wreck. You need a new phone, man. 1083 00:50:57,929 --> 00:50:59,514 You need a new phone. 1084 00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:01,099 -What? -What? 1085 00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,934 -Are you okay? -Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 1086 00:51:03,018 --> 00:51:04,019 Okay. 1087 00:51:04,561 --> 00:51:05,937 I'm just running the rainbow tables here, 1088 00:51:06,021 --> 00:51:07,314 about halfway through. 1089 00:51:07,939 --> 00:51:09,399 I was actually gonna run a brute-force algorithm, 1090 00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:10,609 but this'll be a lot faster. 1091 00:51:10,692 --> 00:51:12,360 It'll be faster, yeah. Good call. 1092 00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:13,945 Oh, you know about it? 1093 00:51:14,112 --> 00:51:15,781 -Yeah, know all about it. -Awesome. 1094 00:51:15,947 --> 00:51:18,450 'Cause a brute-force algorithm would brutally force 1095 00:51:18,784 --> 00:51:21,661 the rhythm of Al Gore, 1096 00:51:22,078 --> 00:51:25,665 uh, while rainbow tables are sort of more the spectrum of 1097 00:51:26,666 --> 00:51:28,585 Roy G. Biv and all that, so... 1098 00:51:29,252 --> 00:51:30,253 Roy G. Biv? 1099 00:51:30,796 --> 00:51:33,089 Roy Greg Biv. Discovered rainbows. 1100 00:51:34,299 --> 00:51:36,092 And now he takes up boxing. 1101 00:51:36,176 --> 00:51:37,803 -Reya... 1102 00:51:37,886 --> 00:51:39,513 Jibran and I broke up. 1103 00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:41,097 Oh, my God, are you serious? 1104 00:51:41,848 --> 00:51:44,559 How is that even possible? You're like the best couple ever. 1105 00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,644 Us? 1106 00:51:45,727 --> 00:51:47,771 You and Bobby are the perfect couple. Are you kidding? 1107 00:51:47,854 --> 00:51:49,981 Oh, no, Bobby and I fight all the time. 1108 00:51:50,357 --> 00:51:52,901 Yeah, but you guys have sex constantly. 1109 00:51:52,984 --> 00:51:54,820 Like doing all kinds of freaky shit. 1110 00:51:54,903 --> 00:51:57,322 Oh, no. Why would you think that? 1111 00:51:57,405 --> 00:51:58,907 'Cause you post those hot pictures 1112 00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:01,034 -of you and Bobby in bed. -Oh. 1113 00:52:01,201 --> 00:52:02,369 Two of my exes follow me. 1114 00:52:02,452 --> 00:52:04,037 I'm just trying to make them jealous. 1115 00:52:05,330 --> 00:52:06,790 Yeah, it's not... 1116 00:52:07,582 --> 00:52:10,168 So where'd you learn this stuff? Like, MIT or something? 1117 00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:12,587 Me? Yeah, right. 1118 00:52:12,671 --> 00:52:15,006 Nothing like that. You're the fancy one here. 1119 00:52:16,007 --> 00:52:17,008 What? 1120 00:52:17,425 --> 00:52:19,636 Yeah, Leilani's told me all about you. 1121 00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:21,513 Sound like a very impressive guy. 1122 00:52:23,348 --> 00:52:25,267 -She talks about me? -Yeah. 1123 00:52:26,017 --> 00:52:28,144 She brags about you all the time. 1124 00:52:38,613 --> 00:52:39,656 Look at that. 1125 00:52:40,365 --> 00:52:41,366 We're in. 1126 00:52:53,628 --> 00:52:55,755 -Can you do me a favor? -Yeah, anything. 1127 00:52:55,964 --> 00:52:58,258 Ever since Ji and I broke up, I've been super emotional, 1128 00:52:58,341 --> 00:53:00,385 and I have all these dick pics, 1129 00:53:00,468 --> 00:53:03,597 and I just need someone 1130 00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,974 to hold onto them for me till I'm emotionally ready. 1131 00:53:06,391 --> 00:53:08,435 -You printed them out? -I did. 1132 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,145 Just put them-- Don't open 'em. 1133 00:53:10,228 --> 00:53:12,647 Just put them in a safe place, okay? 1134 00:53:12,939 --> 00:53:14,608 "Senator Burrow"? 1135 00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:16,484 Mmm-hmm, that's what I call it. 1136 00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:19,029 'Cause he be burrowing all up in there! 1137 00:53:19,112 --> 00:53:20,989 - Okay. 1138 00:53:21,072 --> 00:53:23,033 And you said I get freaky and shit. 1139 00:53:23,408 --> 00:53:24,910 Hey! Um... 1140 00:53:25,076 --> 00:53:27,412 -So Keith unlocked my phone. -Great! 1141 00:53:27,537 --> 00:53:29,289 Yeah, my doctor's at a party. 1142 00:53:29,372 --> 00:53:31,374 He'll see me, but we have to go right now. 1143 00:53:31,833 --> 00:53:33,084 Okay, let's go. 1144 00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:34,878 We cannot go dressed like this, though. 1145 00:53:34,961 --> 00:53:36,171 Why not? 1146 00:53:36,713 --> 00:53:39,049 Oh, he's at a fancy benefit, so... 1147 00:53:39,132 --> 00:53:41,468 Can we borrow some nice clothes from you, Rey? 1148 00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:43,178 Yeah. Right this way. 1149 00:53:49,225 --> 00:53:50,435 Oh. Yeah. 1150 00:53:50,518 --> 00:53:51,686 What are you doing? 1151 00:53:51,770 --> 00:53:53,063 Turning around so you can change. 1152 00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:56,441 It's not like you haven't seen this a million times. 1153 00:53:56,566 --> 00:53:57,651 Okay. 1154 00:54:00,153 --> 00:54:01,947 -Actually, turn around, yeah. -A little weird. 1155 00:54:04,449 --> 00:54:05,951 Are you ready for this? 1156 00:54:06,034 --> 00:54:08,286 No. But I'm glad we're together. 1157 00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:09,621 Me, too. 1158 00:54:09,704 --> 00:54:11,748 Listen. If I don't make it, 1159 00:54:11,831 --> 00:54:13,375 you could do a lot worse than Keith. 1160 00:54:13,458 --> 00:54:15,919 I would never date anyone who steals comedy. 1161 00:54:26,054 --> 00:54:27,347 You know, I'mma finish getting dressed outside 1162 00:54:27,430 --> 00:54:28,974 so you can get dressed in here. 1163 00:54:29,057 --> 00:54:30,058 Okay. 1164 00:54:30,141 --> 00:54:32,394 -Shoes. -Guess I don't need these. 1165 00:54:32,477 --> 00:54:34,729 -Yeah. Trade you. -Thanks. 1166 00:54:35,522 --> 00:54:36,940 See you later, crocodile. 1167 00:54:37,273 --> 00:54:38,358 Okay. 1168 00:54:52,998 --> 00:54:54,332 You look great. 1169 00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:55,875 Thank you. 1170 00:54:58,253 --> 00:55:00,463 -Ready? -Yeah, ready. 1171 00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:01,548 For our doctor's! 1172 00:55:01,631 --> 00:55:02,841 Yeah, my doctor's, with the... 1173 00:55:02,924 --> 00:55:04,175 - Yeah. - Have a great night! 1174 00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:05,552 four concussions. 1175 00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:11,474 Oh, no. It's the cops again. 1176 00:55:18,982 --> 00:55:20,150 Ma'am, it's a little quiet in here. 1177 00:55:20,233 --> 00:55:22,193 Do you mind turning on some music or something? 1178 00:55:22,277 --> 00:55:24,154 -Yeah. Of course. -Thank you. 1179 00:55:30,618 --> 00:55:32,370 -What? -This used to be our jam. 1180 00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:34,289 This has never once been our jam. 1181 00:55:34,372 --> 00:55:35,707 Do not act like you don't like this song 1182 00:55:35,790 --> 00:55:36,791 like the rest of the world. 1183 00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:39,002 I do not like this song like the rest of the world. 1184 00:55:39,711 --> 00:55:43,131 ♪ Do you ever feel Feel so paper thin ♪ 1185 00:55:43,465 --> 00:55:45,383 ♪ Like a house of cards... ♪ 1186 00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:46,718 I know what you're doing. 1187 00:55:46,801 --> 00:55:48,178 Whenever I'm stressed out, you try and get me 1188 00:55:48,261 --> 00:55:49,888 to sing along to songs, and it never works. 1189 00:55:49,971 --> 00:55:52,223 It always works. You just gotta be open to it. 1190 00:55:54,768 --> 00:55:56,895 Don't do this. Please don't do this. 1191 00:55:56,978 --> 00:55:58,897 I'm just not in the mood. 1192 00:55:59,105 --> 00:56:00,065 ♪ There's a spark in you ♪ 1193 00:56:00,148 --> 00:56:01,524 Can you just sing in your head? 1194 00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:05,195 ♪ You just gotta ignite The light ♪ 1195 00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,948 ♪ And let it shine ♪ 1196 00:56:09,783 --> 00:56:13,244 ♪ Just own the night ♪ 1197 00:56:13,328 --> 00:56:16,581 ♪ Like the Fourth of July ♪ 1198 00:56:16,664 --> 00:56:20,585 ♪ 'Cause, baby You're a firework ♪ 1199 00:56:20,668 --> 00:56:24,130 ♪ Come on, show them What you're worth ♪ 1200 00:56:24,714 --> 00:56:27,884 ♪ Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh!" ♪ 1201 00:56:27,967 --> 00:56:32,013 ♪ As you shoot across the sky ♪ 1202 00:56:32,472 --> 00:56:36,017 ♪ Baby, you're a firework ♪ 1203 00:56:36,392 --> 00:56:39,938 ♪ Come on, Let your colors burst ♪ 1204 00:56:53,201 --> 00:56:54,285 Phone? 1205 00:56:56,621 --> 00:56:57,914 - Okay. 1206 00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:00,834 Go ahead. 1207 00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:02,627 Oh. Yeah. 1208 00:57:02,794 --> 00:57:03,878 Thank you. 1209 00:57:16,182 --> 00:57:18,017 Thank you so much. 1210 00:57:34,159 --> 00:57:36,202 What is this place? 1211 00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,496 I don't know, but it's fucking creepy. 1212 00:57:45,503 --> 00:57:47,714 -That's Edie. -What if she recognizes us? 1213 00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:10,528 Oh, shit. 1214 00:58:14,532 --> 00:58:16,367 Why is it so quiet? 1215 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,956 Hi, can we, um... 1216 00:58:23,082 --> 00:58:24,167 Sorry. 1217 00:58:25,668 --> 00:58:28,505 -Sorry. Thank you. -Excuse me. 1218 00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:31,132 -Hi. -Oh, it's so sharp. 1219 00:58:32,050 --> 00:58:35,011 Excuse me. Sorry. 1220 00:58:35,803 --> 00:58:36,888 Sorry. 1221 00:58:51,319 --> 00:58:54,948 We are one. We are Sacrarium. 1222 00:58:55,448 --> 00:58:59,035 We are many. We are Sacrarium. 1223 00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:01,329 - We are many. - We are one. 1224 00:59:01,412 --> 00:59:03,748 We are Sacrarium. 1225 00:59:03,831 --> 00:59:04,832 We are one-- 1226 00:59:17,178 --> 00:59:18,304 Welcome, 1227 00:59:18,388 --> 00:59:21,641 Membra Autem Sacrarium. 1228 00:59:22,100 --> 00:59:25,687 From the time of Hermes Trismegistus, 1229 00:59:25,853 --> 00:59:27,522 Hermes the Thrice-Blessed... 1230 00:59:27,605 --> 00:59:30,108 This is some Illuminati bullshit. 1231 00:59:30,733 --> 00:59:32,026 ...to build the pyramids 1232 00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:34,696 to the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. 1233 00:59:34,779 --> 00:59:35,863 Light the fire of knowledge. 1234 00:59:35,947 --> 00:59:36,948 L'Eggo my Eggo. 1235 00:59:37,031 --> 00:59:38,116 Where's the beef? 1236 00:59:38,449 --> 00:59:41,786 This unbroken chain of wisdom 1237 00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:45,290 shall be handed down to ten initiates. 1238 00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:49,168 The few become many become one. 1239 01:00:05,018 --> 01:00:06,394 Fifty-one. 1240 01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:10,773 Is this Bingo? 1241 01:00:11,190 --> 01:00:12,191 I like Bingo. 1242 01:00:13,693 --> 01:00:14,902 Seventeen. 1243 01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:19,657 Six. 1244 01:00:20,658 --> 01:00:21,993 Twenty-three. 1245 01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:23,703 Did they win? 1246 01:00:24,829 --> 01:00:25,830 Fourteen. 1247 01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:29,083 I don't think we're supposed to do that. 1248 01:00:29,167 --> 01:00:30,376 Seventy-two. 1249 01:00:33,212 --> 01:00:34,631 Forty-four. 1250 01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:36,382 Where are they going? 1251 01:00:37,467 --> 01:00:38,676 Thirty-four. 1252 01:00:39,510 --> 01:00:40,928 Do we want our names to be called? 1253 01:00:41,012 --> 01:00:42,430 I don't know. I don't think so. 1254 01:00:42,513 --> 01:00:45,600 And the final number is... 1255 01:00:48,102 --> 01:00:49,854 Ninety-nine. 1256 01:00:51,439 --> 01:00:53,650 Let the ceremony begin. 1257 01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:59,447 -Oh, no, that's not the vibe. -Mmm-hmm. 1258 01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:05,036 What is happening? 1259 01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:19,509 I think they're gonna, um... 1260 01:01:20,551 --> 01:01:23,388 Yeah, that's what I thought was gonna happen. 1261 01:01:26,265 --> 01:01:27,725 No, they didn't. 1262 01:01:27,809 --> 01:01:30,228 -Uh, yes, they did. -Yes, they did. 1263 01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:34,732 You know, I'm actually not hating this. 1264 01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:35,983 Yeah, you've made your, um, 1265 01:01:36,067 --> 01:01:37,527 thoughts on orgies quite clear. 1266 01:01:37,610 --> 01:01:39,362 Do you think they're gonna call more numbers? 1267 01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:44,659 -This is spontaneous. -This is not spontaneous! 1268 01:01:44,742 --> 01:01:46,661 I bet all these people had it on their Google Cal. 1269 01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:55,336 Stop! 1270 01:01:56,838 --> 01:01:58,464 Go away! 1271 01:02:04,470 --> 01:02:06,806 I love that they actually respect the word "stop." 1272 01:02:13,187 --> 01:02:15,064 There is a traitor 1273 01:02:15,148 --> 01:02:16,774 amongst us. 1274 01:02:18,317 --> 01:02:20,903 A worker has violated 1275 01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:23,239 the most sacred code of Sacrarium. 1276 01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:27,452 And for this, he has paid a hefty price. 1277 01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:30,663 He is quod mortem. 1278 01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:32,331 - Jibran, my God. 1279 01:02:32,415 --> 01:02:34,167 They hired Mustache to kill Bicycle. 1280 01:02:34,625 --> 01:02:36,711 Oh, shit. 1281 01:02:36,794 --> 01:02:37,795 Silence! 1282 01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:38,755 We should get out of here. 1283 01:02:38,838 --> 01:02:41,799 I have just learned that this man's barcode 1284 01:02:41,883 --> 01:02:45,762 has been used to enter Sacrarium tonight. 1285 01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:47,555 It's okay. 1286 01:02:47,638 --> 01:02:51,309 We have imposters in our ranks. 1287 01:02:53,227 --> 01:02:55,229 Oh, no, imposters. That sucks. 1288 01:02:55,646 --> 01:02:59,317 We must all reveal our true faces, 1289 01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,695 so that this imposter may be rooted out 1290 01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:04,489 and dealt with. 1291 01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:07,116 On my count of three, 1292 01:03:07,492 --> 01:03:09,786 unmask yourselves. 1293 01:03:10,369 --> 01:03:11,245 One... 1294 01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:13,080 -Okay, okay, fuck, fuck. -Are we gonna do it? 1295 01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:14,207 Everyone's gonna take their mask off. 1296 01:03:14,290 --> 01:03:15,291 Two... 1297 01:03:15,374 --> 01:03:17,084 Fuck, fuck, we have to do it. 1298 01:03:17,168 --> 01:03:18,377 If everybody else is doing it. 1299 01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:19,462 Three! 1300 01:03:23,841 --> 01:03:24,967 Oh, fuck. 1301 01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:26,844 A true member knows, 1302 01:03:26,928 --> 01:03:29,263 you never take off your mask. 1303 01:03:30,014 --> 01:03:31,766 Oh, my God, that's them. 1304 01:03:32,725 --> 01:03:33,601 Go! Go get 'em! 1305 01:03:33,684 --> 01:03:34,727 -Oh, God. - We are one. 1306 01:03:35,186 --> 01:03:36,854 We are Sacrarium. 1307 01:03:36,938 --> 01:03:39,023 Your burnt offerings 1308 01:03:39,106 --> 01:03:41,234 shall be made to the gods, 1309 01:03:41,317 --> 01:03:43,986 -and it shall replenish them. -Oh! No! Stop! I'm a bleeder! 1310 01:03:46,614 --> 01:03:47,907 Evacuate. 1311 01:03:49,242 --> 01:03:50,076 Evacuate. 1312 01:03:51,953 --> 01:03:53,204 Evacuate. 1313 01:03:55,206 --> 01:03:56,207 What the fuck? 1314 01:04:02,004 --> 01:04:04,549 What the fuck? All the fuck people left. 1315 01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,217 Are we having the same dream? 1316 01:04:08,261 --> 01:04:10,137 -Um... -Let's go. 1317 01:04:10,221 --> 01:04:12,056 - Police! - Go, go, go, go! 1318 01:04:12,139 --> 01:04:14,267 - Oh, my God. - Go, go, go, go! 1319 01:04:14,892 --> 01:04:17,311 -Freeze! Hands in the air! - Whoa. Whoa. 1320 01:04:17,395 --> 01:04:18,646 Higher! 1321 01:04:18,729 --> 01:04:21,148 -Higher! -This is as high as they go. 1322 01:04:23,734 --> 01:04:25,361 Dispatch, that's a 10-95. 1323 01:04:25,444 --> 01:04:27,071 They're in custody. We're on our way back. 1324 01:04:44,338 --> 01:04:46,340 Detective Martin will be here shortly. 1325 01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:54,932 It's over. We're done. 1326 01:04:56,809 --> 01:04:58,019 I know. 1327 01:04:59,437 --> 01:05:01,272 I need to tell you something. 1328 01:05:02,899 --> 01:05:03,983 Yeah? 1329 01:05:06,027 --> 01:05:07,737 You remember when you 1330 01:05:07,820 --> 01:05:10,448 went out of town for Ben's bachelor party? 1331 01:05:10,948 --> 01:05:12,617 You ate all the peanut brittle. 1332 01:05:12,783 --> 01:05:13,993 No. 1333 01:05:14,869 --> 01:05:15,870 Yeah. 1334 01:05:17,371 --> 01:05:18,789 I snuck into your office 1335 01:05:18,873 --> 01:05:20,875 and I watched your documentary. 1336 01:05:21,292 --> 01:05:23,669 -You did what? -I know, I'm sorry. 1337 01:05:24,879 --> 01:05:26,297 But can I just say that 1338 01:05:27,298 --> 01:05:29,467 it was really good. 1339 01:05:33,471 --> 01:05:34,513 Why didn't you say something? 1340 01:05:34,889 --> 01:05:36,933 Jibran, honestly, sometimes... 1341 01:05:38,142 --> 01:05:40,311 I feel like you don't care what I think. 1342 01:05:43,773 --> 01:05:45,483 I care so much about what you think. 1343 01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,068 That's why I didn't wanna show it to you. 1344 01:05:47,151 --> 01:05:48,903 I was afraid you wouldn't like it. 1345 01:05:49,612 --> 01:05:51,197 You know, you've had your life figured out 1346 01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:52,782 since the moment we met. 1347 01:05:53,741 --> 01:05:56,702 I always felt like you could do so much better than me. 1348 01:06:01,123 --> 01:06:02,625 You know, honestly, I... 1349 01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:05,544 I feel like I don't have anything figured out. 1350 01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:07,254 Like, zero. 1351 01:06:09,298 --> 01:06:10,466 But I was so obsessed 1352 01:06:10,549 --> 01:06:11,926 with what everybody else thought, 1353 01:06:12,009 --> 01:06:14,971 except the one person that I care about the most. 1354 01:06:18,474 --> 01:06:20,393 I just want you to be happy. 1355 01:06:22,770 --> 01:06:24,605 I want you to be happy, too. 1356 01:06:29,568 --> 01:06:32,613 We'll still be friends, laying out at the trial. 1357 01:06:33,531 --> 01:06:35,116 Oh, no, I took a deal. 1358 01:06:35,199 --> 01:06:36,659 -What? -Nobody told you? 1359 01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:39,787 Wait, but I thought we'd have the same lawyer. 1360 01:06:39,870 --> 01:06:41,622 I'm a rat all day. 1361 01:06:41,706 --> 01:06:43,374 -It's done? - Yeah, it's done. 1362 01:06:43,457 --> 01:06:44,291 Ah, shit. 1363 01:06:44,375 --> 01:06:47,211 I like them. I don't think they should break up. 1364 01:06:47,878 --> 01:06:49,755 Relationships are a motherfucker. 1365 01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:51,215 Yeah. 1366 01:07:13,446 --> 01:07:15,573 We've been looking for you all over this city. 1367 01:07:18,909 --> 01:07:20,619 You guys are key witnesses on a homicide, 1368 01:07:20,703 --> 01:07:22,329 and the suspect is still on the loose. 1369 01:07:24,665 --> 01:07:25,666 What? 1370 01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:27,209 We've been trying to track you down all night 1371 01:07:27,293 --> 01:07:28,419 to make sure you were safe. 1372 01:07:28,836 --> 01:07:30,129 We tried calling your phone several times. 1373 01:07:30,212 --> 01:07:31,213 Wait, I'm sorry. 1374 01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:33,382 You don't think we're the murderers? 1375 01:07:33,591 --> 01:07:34,675 No. 1376 01:07:35,092 --> 01:07:36,010 There were traffic cameras 1377 01:07:36,093 --> 01:07:37,094 that caught the entire pursuit. 1378 01:07:37,178 --> 01:07:38,512 -Uh-huh. -I can't believe this. 1379 01:07:38,721 --> 01:07:39,805 We're trying to ID the individual 1380 01:07:39,889 --> 01:07:41,348 who carjacked your vehicle. 1381 01:07:41,766 --> 01:07:44,143 We know that he's responsible for this incident as well as 1382 01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:46,854 multiple homicides at the St. Charles Apartments. 1383 01:07:46,937 --> 01:07:49,356 -A bunch of dead frat guys. -Uh-- Okay-- 1384 01:07:50,566 --> 01:07:51,984 Just to be clear, 1385 01:07:53,110 --> 01:07:57,406 we are not suspects in a murder/homicide. 1386 01:07:57,490 --> 01:07:59,325 -You know we didn't do this. -We didn't do it. 1387 01:07:59,408 --> 01:08:00,868 -And you know it. -Of course you didn't do it. 1388 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:02,578 Why would two civilians 1389 01:08:02,661 --> 01:08:04,622 violently murder a man they've never even met? 1390 01:08:04,705 --> 01:08:07,291 -Like, why would we... 1391 01:08:07,374 --> 01:08:09,668 -It doesn't make sense. -It doesn't make any sense. 1392 01:08:09,752 --> 01:08:11,587 Oh, my God! 1393 01:08:11,670 --> 01:08:12,838 That's right. 1394 01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:15,091 I promise I have never killed anyone. 1395 01:08:15,299 --> 01:08:17,635 And I promise to never kill anyone, Scout's honor. 1396 01:08:17,718 --> 01:08:19,428 -Never. Never kill anybody. -Never kill. 1397 01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:22,348 Have I thought about killing people? Like Jibran? 1398 01:08:22,431 --> 01:08:23,974 All the time. But I would never-- 1399 01:08:24,058 --> 01:08:25,601 -But that's in a normal way! -No-- 1400 01:08:25,810 --> 01:08:27,269 She would never act on it. 1401 01:08:27,353 --> 01:08:28,354 In the way where I'm like, 1402 01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:30,314 "I will kill you, I will wring your neck!" 1403 01:08:30,397 --> 01:08:31,649 But not in the real murder way. 1404 01:08:31,732 --> 01:08:32,733 Not physically. 1405 01:08:32,817 --> 01:08:34,318 I have rolled through stop signs 1406 01:08:34,401 --> 01:08:35,736 almost every day of my life, 1407 01:08:35,820 --> 01:08:38,072 but not in a dangerous way. 1408 01:08:38,155 --> 01:08:41,367 I used to sell, uh, my uncle's edibles. 1409 01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,494 He was always like, "It's legal in Amsterdam." 1410 01:08:43,577 --> 01:08:44,995 He could not point to Amsterdam on a map, but-- 1411 01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:46,872 She did not sell them in Amsterdam. 1412 01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:48,165 She did sell them here. 1413 01:08:48,249 --> 01:08:50,918 But to help people get high. 1414 01:08:51,001 --> 01:08:53,003 Just glaucoma and things like that. 1415 01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:54,588 Yes, mostly. She did make 1416 01:08:54,672 --> 01:08:56,924 some money at a time when we did need some money. 1417 01:08:57,007 --> 01:08:59,260 We needed to pay some bills. Wait, I'm sorry. 1418 01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:03,264 So, did you guys catch the... the cult people? 1419 01:09:03,347 --> 01:09:04,723 The cult in the theater with the people 1420 01:09:04,807 --> 01:09:06,934 with the masks and everybody was... sex. 1421 01:09:07,184 --> 01:09:08,185 The lucky people had sex. 1422 01:09:08,477 --> 01:09:09,478 They would go on the round bed-- 1423 01:09:09,562 --> 01:09:10,396 There was music. 1424 01:09:10,646 --> 01:09:12,606 -Yeah, they were having sex. -In a very public place. 1425 01:09:12,690 --> 01:09:14,024 Some people were putting in work. 1426 01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:15,151 There was a big round bed. 1427 01:09:15,276 --> 01:09:16,527 Some people got right to it. 1428 01:09:16,610 --> 01:09:18,988 They were... I will agree they were putting in work. 1429 01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:20,656 Yeah, we saw all of that. 1430 01:09:20,739 --> 01:09:23,868 And let me tell you, sis, it was a sight. 1431 01:09:24,368 --> 01:09:25,744 That's super helpful, 1432 01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:27,872 but we know all about Sacrarium. 1433 01:09:27,955 --> 01:09:29,081 We've been tracking them for months, 1434 01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:30,291 and the raid tonight was supposed to 1435 01:09:30,374 --> 01:09:31,458 shut them down for good, 1436 01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:33,544 but somebody tipped them off that we were coming. 1437 01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:36,088 Look, 1438 01:09:36,297 --> 01:09:39,008 you guys witnessed some horrific things. 1439 01:09:39,633 --> 01:09:41,260 Eventually, we're gonna need your statements, 1440 01:09:41,343 --> 01:09:43,345 but I really think that you two 1441 01:09:43,429 --> 01:09:45,556 would benefit from some sleep. 1442 01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:47,850 So why don't you come back first thing in the morning 1443 01:09:47,933 --> 01:09:49,852 and we'll get your statements then. 1444 01:09:50,186 --> 01:09:52,271 One of our guys out back will take you home. 1445 01:09:52,354 --> 01:09:53,606 And we'll keep an eye on your place 1446 01:09:53,689 --> 01:09:56,400 to make sure you're safe until the suspect is apprehended. 1447 01:09:57,109 --> 01:09:57,943 Thank you so much. 1448 01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:59,153 This has been a good experience. 1449 01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:00,613 - I hope so. -Thank you for everything. 1450 01:10:00,696 --> 01:10:02,198 Is there a comment card? 'Cause I'm doing five. 1451 01:10:02,406 --> 01:10:03,407 Fives down the line. 1452 01:10:03,490 --> 01:10:04,658 Yeah, I would love to just-- Okay? 1453 01:10:15,586 --> 01:10:17,546 So, that's it? 1454 01:10:17,796 --> 01:10:21,050 We just go back to our normal lives? 1455 01:10:21,342 --> 01:10:22,635 Like nothing happened? 1456 01:10:23,844 --> 01:10:25,221 I guess so. 1457 01:10:31,685 --> 01:10:32,686 Um... 1458 01:10:34,855 --> 01:10:36,649 I could sleep on the couch tonight. 1459 01:10:36,732 --> 01:10:39,777 Oh, no, no, no. We can... We can trade off. 1460 01:10:39,944 --> 01:10:42,112 No, you should have the bed. 1461 01:10:49,828 --> 01:10:51,413 This is crazy. I know we didn't, like, 1462 01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:53,624 solve the crime or whatever, 1463 01:10:53,707 --> 01:10:55,542 but we got really close. 1464 01:10:56,085 --> 01:10:57,294 I'm proud of us. 1465 01:10:58,295 --> 01:11:00,339 Hey, not bad for a couple rookies. 1466 01:11:02,049 --> 01:11:03,968 You know, the one thing I can't figure out is, 1467 01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:06,387 who called the cops? 1468 01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:07,888 I did. 1469 01:11:10,724 --> 01:11:12,059 Remember me? 1470 01:11:12,643 --> 01:11:14,561 How did you get in this car? 1471 01:11:14,645 --> 01:11:15,896 I told you I was a cop. 1472 01:11:16,397 --> 01:11:18,524 I've been on the force for about 13 years. 1473 01:11:18,607 --> 01:11:20,776 I'm actually kind of a big deal over there. 1474 01:11:21,485 --> 01:11:23,904 And you're a member of the sex cult, too? 1475 01:11:24,196 --> 01:11:25,197 Nah, they pay me 1476 01:11:25,281 --> 01:11:26,365 to keep 'em safe from the police. 1477 01:11:26,657 --> 01:11:29,368 Wait, so you were protecting the sex cult 1478 01:11:30,619 --> 01:11:32,454 and also blackmailing its members? 1479 01:11:32,788 --> 01:11:34,164 As a matter of fact, I was. 1480 01:11:34,248 --> 01:11:36,500 Do you know how much this fucking city pays me? 1481 01:11:36,667 --> 01:11:39,128 I put my life on the line every single day 1482 01:11:39,211 --> 01:11:41,255 and the government tosses pennies at me. 1483 01:11:41,797 --> 01:11:43,215 But you know what is fucked up? 1484 01:11:44,675 --> 01:11:46,468 That guy on the bicycle? 1485 01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:48,846 The one I ran over several times with your car? 1486 01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:50,014 -I remember. You remember? -Mmm-hmm. 1487 01:11:50,097 --> 01:11:51,181 Yeah, we remember. 1488 01:11:51,473 --> 01:11:52,683 That was my friend. 1489 01:11:53,684 --> 01:11:57,688 Me and him, we come up with the blackmail-the-cult scheme. 1490 01:11:58,272 --> 01:12:01,692 But he got too greedy. Stopped giving me my full cut. 1491 01:12:01,775 --> 01:12:03,152 And then, against my better judgment, 1492 01:12:03,235 --> 01:12:05,654 he brought those ignorant frat boys onboard. 1493 01:12:05,821 --> 01:12:08,574 Sir, if I may, we don't know anything, 1494 01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:10,409 and we have terrible memories. 1495 01:12:10,492 --> 01:12:12,536 So please just let us go, you can trust us. 1496 01:12:12,619 --> 01:12:14,830 Lady, I don't trust anyone. Here's a little tip: 1497 01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:17,750 The world is out to get you. 1498 01:12:18,042 --> 01:12:20,627 The only one who's got your back 1499 01:12:20,794 --> 01:12:21,879 is you. 1500 01:12:22,838 --> 01:12:24,840 -You're wrong. -That's not true. 1501 01:12:25,758 --> 01:12:28,510 I trusted someone. One person. 1502 01:12:29,970 --> 01:12:31,138 Siobhan. 1503 01:12:31,555 --> 01:12:33,849 I will never trust anyone again. 1504 01:12:34,558 --> 01:12:35,893 Never. 1505 01:12:36,310 --> 01:12:38,437 You come into this world alone 1506 01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:40,606 and you leave this world alone. 1507 01:12:40,689 --> 01:12:42,691 Which is what you two are about to find out. 1508 01:12:54,244 --> 01:12:55,662 Look, 1509 01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:57,539 I'm sorry I have to kill you guys. 1510 01:12:57,623 --> 01:13:00,793 You seem like a nice, though somewhat annoying couple. 1511 01:13:00,876 --> 01:13:02,628 But if it makes you feel any better, 1512 01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,088 I will get over it. 1513 01:13:04,171 --> 01:13:05,672 You don't have to do this, okay? 1514 01:13:05,798 --> 01:13:07,549 You're not a killer, you're a good person. 1515 01:13:08,050 --> 01:13:10,219 -I can see it in your eyes. -Your eyes are so kind. 1516 01:13:10,302 --> 01:13:11,553 They're luminous. 1517 01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:14,348 Do you know how many people I have killed today? 1518 01:13:14,723 --> 01:13:16,475 Uh-- I would say you've killed, like, 1519 01:13:16,558 --> 01:13:18,352 exactly the right number of people. 1520 01:13:18,435 --> 01:13:19,520 I wouldn't add to it, 1521 01:13:19,686 --> 01:13:21,355 'cause right now, the number of people 1522 01:13:21,438 --> 01:13:24,024 you've killed is impressive, but not, like, worrying. 1523 01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:25,359 Also, you killed a guy on a bicycle 1524 01:13:25,442 --> 01:13:26,610 and a bunch of frat boys. 1525 01:13:26,693 --> 01:13:27,778 Who's kidding who? 1526 01:13:27,861 --> 01:13:28,987 You're practically a folk hero. 1527 01:13:29,154 --> 01:13:30,739 That was a rhetorical question. 1528 01:13:31,573 --> 01:13:33,075 Never too late to change. 1529 01:13:33,158 --> 01:13:35,119 Maybe if you do, you can find a new Siobhan. 1530 01:13:35,202 --> 01:13:37,996 Did I say that you could talk about Siobhan? 1531 01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:39,331 I thought you were sharing and thought 1532 01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:40,707 it was an open invitation, but I wasn't-- 1533 01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:42,000 Listen, Siobhan is clearly a tramp. 1534 01:13:42,084 --> 01:13:43,127 You, too! 1535 01:13:43,502 --> 01:13:45,421 Take her name out of your mouth! 1536 01:13:45,754 --> 01:13:48,173 I will never say the name Siobhaaa again. 1537 01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:49,466 She's dead to me. I don't even-- 1538 01:13:49,550 --> 01:13:50,551 - She sucks. 1539 01:13:50,634 --> 01:13:51,635 Shut up. 1540 01:13:55,180 --> 01:13:56,723 He clearly isn't over Siobhan. 1541 01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:01,395 Turn around. Put your hands behind your back. 1542 01:14:02,438 --> 01:14:05,232 You lay a hand on her and I'll kick your ass, dude. 1543 01:14:06,733 --> 01:14:08,485 - Turn around. -Yes, sir. 1544 01:14:10,904 --> 01:14:12,739 They have traffic cam footage of you, man. 1545 01:14:12,865 --> 01:14:14,158 You're so fucked. 1546 01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:15,409 Nah, I saw it. 1547 01:14:15,492 --> 01:14:16,660 It's very grainy. 1548 01:14:16,743 --> 01:14:19,037 It's like, uh, Bigfoot footage. 1549 01:14:21,707 --> 01:14:23,667 Jibran, we can't just sit here waiting to be killed, okay? 1550 01:14:23,750 --> 01:14:24,918 -We need to do something. -Okay. 1551 01:14:25,002 --> 01:14:26,962 -Help me figure something out. -Okay, okay. 1552 01:14:27,045 --> 01:14:29,923 Um... Here, uh, loosen my ties. 1553 01:14:30,549 --> 01:14:31,967 -Can you do it? -I can barely reach it. 1554 01:14:32,050 --> 01:14:34,094 Okay, it's just getting tighter. Ow. 1555 01:14:34,178 --> 01:14:35,471 I'm sorry. Okay, try me. 1556 01:14:35,554 --> 01:14:37,181 -Is it working? -No. Oh, fuck! 1557 01:14:37,347 --> 01:14:38,557 I'm gonna try kicking this. 1558 01:14:40,851 --> 01:14:42,019 Oh, shit. 1559 01:14:42,102 --> 01:14:44,146 I wish I was wearing your date shoes. 1560 01:14:44,229 --> 01:14:46,148 Jibran, the lighter! The cigarette lighter! 1561 01:14:46,231 --> 01:14:48,358 That's what's it there for! Go, go. 1562 01:14:48,859 --> 01:14:50,777 -Yeah, you can do it. 1563 01:14:54,865 --> 01:14:56,617 Okay, that's kind of hot. 1564 01:14:58,702 --> 01:14:59,745 Does he see us? 1565 01:14:59,828 --> 01:15:01,246 My God, he's laying down plastic. 1566 01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,331 Oh, shit, shit. 1567 01:15:02,414 --> 01:15:03,916 -Has it popped out yet? -No. 1568 01:15:03,999 --> 01:15:06,210 - What about now? -Okay. Okay. 1569 01:15:06,502 --> 01:15:08,045 Come on. Hurry up. 1570 01:15:08,670 --> 01:15:10,506 Get it, get it, get it. Get it, get it, get it. 1571 01:15:10,589 --> 01:15:12,549 - Close your eyes. -Come on, come on. 1572 01:15:13,258 --> 01:15:15,385 Get the plastic, not my hands! 1573 01:15:20,807 --> 01:15:22,434 Drop it, drop it. Ow! Ahh! 1574 01:15:22,518 --> 01:15:24,603 -I had it in my mouth, okay? -Yeah, but you didn't have 1575 01:15:24,686 --> 01:15:26,230 -the hot end in your mouth. -Hurry up! 1576 01:15:27,356 --> 01:15:28,482 Hold, up, hold up, he's looking at us. 1577 01:15:28,565 --> 01:15:29,942 He's looking at us. Hold on. 1578 01:15:31,318 --> 01:15:33,904 Okay, put it back. Put it back. Put it back. 1579 01:15:36,156 --> 01:15:37,491 Out of the car. 1580 01:15:38,742 --> 01:15:41,537 They're gonna get you. They know you drove us. 1581 01:15:41,828 --> 01:15:43,830 No, they're not gonna suspect me. 1582 01:15:43,914 --> 01:15:45,707 When I drove you guys to your apartment, 1583 01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:48,252 the real killer jumped out of the bushes 1584 01:15:48,335 --> 01:15:49,836 and hit me over the head! 1585 01:15:50,295 --> 01:15:52,130 When I woke up, there I was, 1586 01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:54,091 tied up in the back of my own squad car 1587 01:15:54,174 --> 01:15:56,093 with you guys here at the marina. 1588 01:15:58,053 --> 01:15:59,221 Watch your step. 1589 01:16:01,181 --> 01:16:04,017 And then the killer made us get on the boat. 1590 01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:06,478 That's right. All three of us. 1591 01:16:06,770 --> 01:16:08,564 And you remember what happened next. 1592 01:16:09,189 --> 01:16:11,441 He made us all kneel down. Go ahead. 1593 01:16:13,068 --> 01:16:15,362 I jumped up and tried to save you guys. 1594 01:16:15,445 --> 01:16:17,656 And in the scuffle, I was shot. 1595 01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:20,450 I wasn't mortally wounded, but I had to watch in horror 1596 01:16:20,826 --> 01:16:22,578 as the masked killer 1597 01:16:22,869 --> 01:16:25,038 executed you both with my gun. 1598 01:16:25,122 --> 01:16:26,498 Anyway, let's get this over with. 1599 01:16:27,749 --> 01:16:28,917 Eenie... 1600 01:16:29,334 --> 01:16:30,335 No. 1601 01:16:30,627 --> 01:16:31,628 Eenie, 1602 01:16:32,754 --> 01:16:34,089 meenie, 1603 01:16:34,798 --> 01:16:35,799 miney... 1604 01:16:45,809 --> 01:16:46,977 Hey, Mustache. 1605 01:16:56,486 --> 01:16:57,779 Okay, okay. 1606 01:16:59,948 --> 01:17:01,783 Oh, fuck. 1607 01:17:02,034 --> 01:17:04,244 - Oh, no, no, no. -Oh, shit. 1608 01:17:04,661 --> 01:17:06,830 Go ahead. Shoot me. 1609 01:17:07,831 --> 01:17:09,458 Right here in the shoulder would be good. 1610 01:17:09,541 --> 01:17:11,585 That way I don't have to shoot myself. 1611 01:17:11,835 --> 01:17:13,545 Drop the gun or I'll break his neck. 1612 01:17:13,795 --> 01:17:16,757 You can't break his neck. It-It-It's too thick. 1613 01:17:17,007 --> 01:17:20,010 I'll just twist until something bad happens. 1614 01:17:20,093 --> 01:17:21,178 From where I'm sitting, 1615 01:17:21,261 --> 01:17:22,095 he's super convincing. 1616 01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:23,555 He can't hurt you. 1617 01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:26,308 I bet he can do it quite easily. 1618 01:17:26,892 --> 01:17:28,602 - Drop it. -Leilani, listen to him. 1619 01:17:28,685 --> 01:17:29,686 Put the gun down. 1620 01:17:29,770 --> 01:17:30,771 You don't have a shot. 1621 01:17:30,854 --> 01:17:32,105 -Just put it down. -I do have a shot. 1622 01:17:32,230 --> 01:17:34,232 Why are you arguing with me about this? 1623 01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:35,525 Because you think you're always right, 1624 01:17:35,609 --> 01:17:36,860 and you're wrong about this, okay? 1625 01:17:36,943 --> 01:17:38,445 I'm supposed to listen to someone who's never 1626 01:17:38,528 --> 01:17:40,238 held a gun before, and I'm the know-it-all? 1627 01:17:40,322 --> 01:17:41,615 -You refuse to take risks! - Guys-- 1628 01:17:41,698 --> 01:17:42,616 This is a prime example. 1629 01:17:42,699 --> 01:17:43,867 -You're the reason we're here! -Guys-- 1630 01:17:43,950 --> 01:17:45,327 -This is your fault! -Guys! 1631 01:17:45,410 --> 01:17:46,662 Do you really wanna do this right now? 1632 01:17:46,745 --> 01:17:48,538 Oh, my God. I wanted to go to the police! 1633 01:17:48,789 --> 01:17:49,956 You were driving the car! 1634 01:17:50,248 --> 01:17:51,708 I got kicked by a horse for you! 1635 01:17:51,792 --> 01:17:52,918 -Oh, my God. - You just ran from 1636 01:17:53,001 --> 01:17:54,544 -a dead body and left me. -You guys are so annoying. 1637 01:17:54,628 --> 01:17:56,088 I am alone in this relationship. 1638 01:17:56,171 --> 01:17:57,756 You watched my movie without asking me! 1639 01:17:57,964 --> 01:17:58,965 Nobody cares about your shit. 1640 01:17:59,049 --> 01:18:00,133 Stop! You sound like my parents! 1641 01:18:00,217 --> 01:18:01,843 Understand what I'm doing for once! 1642 01:18:01,968 --> 01:18:03,011 Be with me on something! 1643 01:18:03,095 --> 01:18:04,096 -One, two, three! -Go! 1644 01:18:06,723 --> 01:18:08,350 -shit. 1645 01:18:09,518 --> 01:18:10,936 -Jibran, are you okay? -Yeah. 1646 01:18:11,019 --> 01:18:12,020 Oh, shit. 1647 01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:17,067 Oh, my God. 1648 01:18:49,349 --> 01:18:50,517 Thanks to you guys, 1649 01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:53,019 we have the suspect in custody. You're safe now. 1650 01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:02,112 Sure you're okay? 1651 01:19:02,195 --> 01:19:03,780 Yeah, I'm okay. Are you? 1652 01:19:04,114 --> 01:19:05,115 Yeah. 1653 01:19:06,199 --> 01:19:07,284 You know, I knew you were gonna do that 1654 01:19:07,367 --> 01:19:09,202 "one, two, three" thing, even though it didn't work 1655 01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:11,163 any other time. 1656 01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:12,497 -You did everything. -No, it was equal. 1657 01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:13,582 -You did. -It was equal! 1658 01:19:13,790 --> 01:19:15,542 -You shot him! -I know. Don't-- 1659 01:19:15,625 --> 01:19:17,586 -That was amazing. -I would rather forget that. 1660 01:19:17,669 --> 01:19:18,837 Don't ever shoot anyone ever again. 1661 01:19:18,920 --> 01:19:20,505 I will never shoot anyone ever again. 1662 01:19:23,341 --> 01:19:25,177 -What? -I didn't say anything. 1663 01:19:25,260 --> 01:19:26,386 I know that face. 1664 01:19:27,137 --> 01:19:28,054 What face? 1665 01:19:28,138 --> 01:19:29,598 It's the "I wanna kiss you" face. 1666 01:19:29,681 --> 01:19:31,391 -No, no. No, I don't-- -Yes, it is. 1667 01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:32,809 -I don't wanna kiss you. -Oh. 1668 01:19:33,310 --> 01:19:35,937 I don't, so-- You're very arrogant. Gross. 1669 01:19:36,021 --> 01:19:37,314 Oh, gross? 1670 01:19:37,397 --> 01:19:39,691 Wow, you wanna kiss me so bad, 1671 01:19:39,775 --> 01:19:41,568 like, with tongue and everything. I can tell. 1672 01:19:41,651 --> 01:19:42,778 You are projecting. 1673 01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:44,529 -Oh, okay. -I think you wanna kiss me. 1674 01:19:44,613 --> 01:19:46,281 -I wanna kiss you? -You wanna kiss me. 1675 01:19:46,364 --> 01:19:47,949 And you're, like, doing this now. 1676 01:19:48,158 --> 01:19:49,910 Doing what? What am I doing? 1677 01:20:01,713 --> 01:20:03,256 Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds. 1678 01:20:03,465 --> 01:20:04,591 I gotta take you to the hospital, 1679 01:20:04,674 --> 01:20:06,760 have them check you out. It's protocol. 1680 01:20:10,972 --> 01:20:13,475 Back-of-the-ambulance sex is pretty freaky, right? 1681 01:20:14,142 --> 01:20:16,520 -I am so down. -All right, let's go. 1682 01:20:17,437 --> 01:20:18,438 Are you gonna try that move 1683 01:20:18,522 --> 01:20:19,356 we saw in the orgy? 1684 01:20:19,439 --> 01:20:21,191 Oh, I'm gonna put in some work! 1685 01:20:21,274 --> 01:20:22,609 Mmm-mmm, you don't sound right. 1686 01:20:22,692 --> 01:20:23,944 That's my line. 1687 01:20:32,619 --> 01:20:34,246 - Run, Leilani! - Jibran, I'm running. 1688 01:20:34,454 --> 01:20:35,580 Holy shit, holy shit! 1689 01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:36,498 They're right behind us! 1690 01:20:36,665 --> 01:20:38,083 Let me lead. Let me get in front, slow down! 1691 01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:39,876 -Run, run, run! -Jibran, I'm running. 1692 01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,545 Don't tell me to run when I'm already running! 1693 01:20:41,628 --> 01:20:43,797 Oh, my God, they're right there! We're so fucked! 1694 01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:47,217 This is London, England. 1695 01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:49,469 Jibran and Leilani lost valuable time 1696 01:20:49,553 --> 01:20:52,138 after a heated argument about the metric system. 1697 01:20:52,305 --> 01:20:54,432 With only two legs remaining, 1698 01:20:54,516 --> 01:20:57,644 do they have what it takes to win the $1 million prize? 1699 01:20:57,936 --> 01:20:59,396 We're actually doing it, Jibran! 1700 01:20:59,479 --> 01:21:01,356 I told you we could win The Amazing Race. 1701 01:21:04,401 --> 01:21:05,986 Okay. "For over 50 years, 1702 01:21:06,069 --> 01:21:09,072 enthusiasts have gathered at Hyde Park to commemorate--" 1703 01:21:10,407 --> 01:21:11,700 -Uh-oh. -What? 1704 01:21:17,414 --> 01:21:18,832 Oh, . 116172