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1
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(PHONE RINGS)
2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:05,789
ROB: Hello?
3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,193
Hello, Rob? Steve Coogan...
4
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,673
- What's this?
- Steve Coogan.
5
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,392
Hey, how are you?
6
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:11,555
Great, how are you?
7
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,669
Yeah, good, where are you?
8
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,951
I'm in London, just got back
from filming in New York. I play a chef.
9
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,558
It's called Medium Rare.
10
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,433
Anyway, they want me to do publicity
for the launch of the series.
11
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:21,708
(CHILD WAILS)
12
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,512
They want me to do a series of
restaurant reviews,
13
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,438
This time, a trip to Spain.
14
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,197
(DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC)
15
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,231
Please, you're hurting me.
16
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,350
(AS MARLON BRANDO) Do you wish to confess?
17
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,074
No.
18
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:49,675
You know all Jews were told
to leave the country,
19
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,439
by order of the Catholic king and queen.
20
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:55,278
Yes, but I'm not a Jew,
21
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,835
I'm a Catholic, a Roman Catholic.
22
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,872
If you're Catholic, then you must
respect my authority.
23
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,672
My authority comes from the Pope.
24
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,756
I've met the Pope.
25
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:10,476
My lord, I met the Pope.
I met His Holiness, at the Vatican,
26
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,193
and he saw a film I made.
27
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,435
- You're lying.
- I'm telling the truth.
28
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,472
He didn't see the film,
but his advisers did
29
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,717
and they gave him a breakdown of the film,
and he approved it.
30
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,910
You're a heretic.
31
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:27,350
My lord, I am not a heretic.
I'm not Jewish, I'm not Muslim,
32
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,834
I am a Roman Catholic. I promise you,
I don't know the Koran,
33
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,791
I hardly know the Old Testament,
34
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,592
I was an altar boy...
35
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,153
Sssh...
36
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,797
Do you respect my authority?
37
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,229
Well...
38
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:42,713
Do you respect my authority?
39
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,433
- Why are you mumbling?
- What?
40
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,232
What did you say?
41
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,748
You're not enunciating, enuncio.
42
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:57,079
I'm sorry, Esteban,
do you respect my authority?
43
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,552
Yes, I respect your authority.
44
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,511
Take him away.
45
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,879
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
46
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,558
What's going to happen now?
47
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,716
I've not done anything,
I haven't...
48
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,228
Why are they taking me backwards?
49
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,599
I've not done anything!
50
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,358
I'm a Catholic...
51
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,310
(HE SIGHS)
52
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:25,399
Hey, guess where I'm taking Joe
at the end of this week?
53
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:28,029
There - look.
54
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,994
- Zip wire?
- Yeah, longest one in Spain.
55
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,316
- Have you done this already?
- Yeah, I've done about five in the UK,
56
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,395
a couple in Europe.
57
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,716
Word of warning,
what's the age limit on this?
58
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,954
There's no age limit,
59
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,149
as long as you're fit.
60
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,872
There's a height restriction.
61
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:47,708
Well, we were in Italy last year
and there was white water rafting...
62
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:48,795
Yeah?
63
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,276
So, I thought I'd check out,
you know, the age.
64
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,269
Eight to 55.
65
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,754
So, by the time Charlie's
old enough to do it...
66
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,153
- That's ridiculous
-...I'll be too old.
67
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,918
- I know.
- 55?
68
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,712
- That's ridiculous.
- Why can you not
69
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,159
white water raft at 55?
70
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,077
I might get some fake ID
or something like that.
71
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,759
Yeah, you'll have to get a fake ID,
like a teenager.
72
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:15,233
John Jones, born in 1970,
I'm a carpenter from Wrexham.
73
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,396
- You say you're a carpenter?
- That's right.
74
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,670
Simple question -
75
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,349
you're building a bog-standard
tongue-and-groove,
76
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,392
glue-and-peg wooden bench
for outside.
77
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,670
What kind of wood do you choose
if you want it to weather
78
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:33,077
into a nice silvery patina -
ash, beech, teak?
79
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,348
A simple question.
80
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,799
(ROB MIMICS HEARTBEAT)
81
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:36,955
I'll have to hurry you,
82
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,150
there's other people want to get
on this white water raft.
83
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,758
Um...
84
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,438
Could you tell me the woods again?
85
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,833
Ash, teak, beech.
86
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,279
Ash, teak, beech?
87
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,154
Beech.
88
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,430
No, mate, it's teak.
89
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,471
Any carpenter worth his salt
will tell you that.
90
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,829
- Don't cry, Charlie.
- You're not a carpenter, mate.
91
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:55,869
Please let us go on,
92
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,595
- it's the only chance I've got to...
- On your way. On... your... way.
93
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,269
Don't cry, Charlie, don't cry.
Maybe Mummy can take you.
94
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,038
Look at the boy, he's crying.
95
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,957
- How old are you?
- What?
96
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,275
- How old are you?
- I'm 56.
97
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,390
Oh, for Christ's sake -
go on, get on, just...
98
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,271
Thanks a lot, oh...
99
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,390
Shooting pains down my arm.
100
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,908
Don't tell me that,
I just broke the rules for you, you knob.
101
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,633
Give me a minute.
I'm going light-headed.
102
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,114
All right, thank you. Come on, Charlie.
103
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,309
Not so fast, son.
104
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,830
I find it quite difficult
walking on these...
105
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,834
- Cobbles?
- No, I do find it difficult.
106
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,909
Bit early for that, innit?
107
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:41,909
You know, walking downhill,
very good if you engage your abs.
108
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,714
- Yeah, course.
- And if you engage your abdominals,
109
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,115
it takes the pressure off your knees.
110
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,878
Who told you that?
111
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,832
You can feel it, anatomically,
I figured it out.
112
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,632
Hardly stand up to a focus group,
would it?
113
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,159
You wouldn't show it to a focus group...
114
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,156
Clinical trials,
it wouldn't stand up to clinical trials.
115
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,952
- Exactly, not a focus group.
- Clinical trials.
116
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,672
- That's why I said clinical trials.
- OK, yeah.
117
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:02,948
You don't need clinical trials.
118
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,991
If you listen to your body,
you figure it out,
119
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,155
it's like a shock absorber
120
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,395
so the knee doesn't have to take
all the impact.
121
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,559
STEVE: Wow!
122
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,038
ROB: Big. Bigger than it looks
from outside.
123
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,433
Take your hat off in church.
124
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,636
Frowned upon.
125
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,150
I'm trying to find out
where the bomb damage is
126
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,034
from, you know,
from when Franco and the Nazis...
127
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,993
Exhibition there with Cervantes
and Shakespeare, there, look.
128
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,235
Why would they have the two of them
in one exhibition?
129
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,111
They both died in the same year.
130
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,277
They seem to have done
a very good repair job.
131
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,038
I can't see any damage.
132
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,878
Maybe it wasn't this part of it
that got damaged.
133
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,957
The workmanship of this is a testament
134
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,958
to all the workers who helped
construct it,
135
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,675
and yet Franco, very happy,
despite claiming to be a Catholic,
136
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,439
to bomb the shit out of
a religious building,
137
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,313
which just shows you what kind of
a vandal he was.
138
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,079
We're having flooring just like this
in the kitchen.
139
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:14,558
Partners, there, buried,
lying next to each other for eternity.
140
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,394
(HE SHUDDERS)
141
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,957
First collected edition of
Shakespeare's works.
142
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,913
1623, so, only six, seven years
after his death -
143
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,030
already, they realised what they'd lost.
144
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,598
Rob, Rob!
145
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,676
Electronic '80s album cover.
146
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,549
Very good.
147
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,756
I'm holding my stomach in while I do this.
148
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,429
Walking downhill is actually better
for that, you know.
149
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,233
Yes, but I hold it in pretty much
all the time now.
150
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,709
(WHIRRING)
151
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,832
Spanish Inquisition over there,
torturing someone with a dental drill.
152
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,030
(DOG BARKS)
153
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,114
Kind of you.
154
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,308
Go on.
155
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,554
WOMAN: Hola.
ROB: Hola.
156
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,828
- Buenos dias.
- Buenos dias.
157
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,199
Tiene una reserva?
158
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,117
- Reservaci�n con...
- Reservaci�n con...
159
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,673
- Coogan.
- Coogan.
160
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,198
Oh, it's red.
161
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,599
Gracias.
162
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:38,993
I like wine.
163
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,428
Encantado.
164
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,759
Gracias.
165
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,360
When you're testing the wine,
you just say "bueno".
166
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,913
"Es bueno", it's good.
167
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,359
You don't say "charming".
168
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:04,829
Pisco sour.
169
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,677
Citrus, non.
170
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,994
Alcohol, nada.
171
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,838
- OK. OK.
- Pardon.
172
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,916
ROB: Gracias.
173
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,633
Is it denim week?
174
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,875
She's in there now, saying,
175
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,478
- "We've got a right pair, out there."
- "Right pair out there.
176
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,556
- "They must be gay."
- What did you say?
177
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,749
I said, "They must be gay.
178
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,199
- "If they're fussy..."
- Why would you say that?
179
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,798
Well, we're fussy about what we're eating
180
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,070
and this T-shirt, probably, as well.
181
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,519
Right, tuck in.
182
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:33,709
What is it?
183
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,034
Is it raw fish?
184
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,479
I'm not a fan of raw fish.
185
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,112
It's interesting. Hang on.
186
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,039
Hmm, oh, yes, wow.
187
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:42,433
You've turned into Jimmy Savile.
188
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,833
(AS JIMMY SAVILE) Oh, marvellous.
189
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:46,959
That is knockout.
190
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,310
- Oh, look at these.
- I forgot about these.
191
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,349
What's this?
192
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,311
What is it? It looks like squid.
193
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,157
- Oh, my God.
- What is it?
194
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,112
- It's pork scratchings.
- Is it?
195
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,195
I don't normally go for pork scratchings
196
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,993
but in a posh restaurant,
it's different, innit?
197
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,112
You can see silver. You can see grey.
198
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,718
I know you don't dye your hair.
199
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,990
- But a lot of people think I do.
- Yeah, I know.
200
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,314
A lot of people ask me.
201
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,032
Otro aperitivo, croquetas de erizo.
202
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,911
- Gracias.
- Muchas gracias.
203
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,439
People ask you if I dye my hair?
204
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:26,754
People say, "Does Rob dye his hair?"
205
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:27,915
What do you say?
206
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:31,111
I say, "I don't know.
You'd have to ask him."
207
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,310
Why don't you say,
"No, I know he doesn't?"
208
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,793
I don't know.
209
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,197
Oh!
210
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,912
Like a Kate Bush video.
211
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,393
Give me a bit of Babooshka.
212
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,078
? She wanted to ask her husband... ?
213
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,192
- Wanted to test her husband.
- She wanted to test her husband
214
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,310
BOTH: She knew exactly what to do
215
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,839
A pseudonym to fool him
216
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,598
? She couldn't have made... ?
217
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,039
Thank you.
218
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:08,877
Arroz meloso con rabitos de ib�rico
y crema de ajo tostado.
219
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:09,909
Gracias.
220
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,313
- Muchas gracias.
- Un poco m�s de vino?
221
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,156
S�, s�. I like wine.
222
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,395
It's vino. Yeah.
223
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,515
- Muchas gracias.
- De nada.
224
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:26,279
So George Orwell came over to Spain
in 1936.
225
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,788
One year after the birth of Elvis.
226
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:32,116
He came up to Barcelona with his wife,
she stayed there.
227
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,549
- A mini-break.
- She stayed there while he went...
228
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,160
It's a good place for a mini-break.
Is that what they were doing?
229
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,237
Were they able to do that in those days?
230
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,477
Do you want to learn anything about
the Civil War at all or do you just think,
231
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,476
"I don't really give a damn
about the Civil War,
232
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,589
"I'm not that interested in it"?
233
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,119
I want to learn something about
the Civil War.
234
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,391
OK - so, he came out to Barcelona,
left his wife there,
235
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,830
went off to the front to fight,
50 miles away, and when he came back,
236
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,713
he was so disillusioned
with the intellectuals
237
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:58,954
who were back in Barcelona.
238
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,433
When he went back there,
he saw them all,
239
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,311
they'd become bourgeois,
240
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,873
they'd lost sight of their ideals,
241
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,480
he said they were eating fancy food
in posh restaurants,
242
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,192
so he went back to the front one more time
243
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,071
and eventually got shot in the throat.
244
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,519
Couldn't speak for six months.
245
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:14,632
Where's a bullet to the throat
when you need one?
246
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:18,468
I don't think if I were to say to Sally,
247
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,750
"I'm going off to fight",
248
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,951
she wouldn't stand there and just say,
"Right, you run off to be killed."
249
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,911
Yeah, or kill?
250
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,713
That's a very good point
cos that's something else I couldn't do.
251
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,352
I wouldn't fight in a war
because I've got kids.
252
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,392
- I've got kids.
- Yeah, but if I didn't have kids, I think
253
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,158
- I would be prepared.
- I don't think you would.
254
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,316
I think you like to think you would,
but I don't think you would.
255
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,635
You would entertain the troops.
You'd go and do Alan Partridge
256
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:42,240
for the troops, that's what you would do.
257
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,555
And all these proper men
who are giving over everything
258
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,477
would love it as you came out
and went, "A-ha."
259
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,954
You know what I'd love?
If a sniper got you at that moment.
260
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,353
"A... Ugh!"
261
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,436
You didn't even finish the "A-ha."
You only get to "A..."
262
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,278
I'd do the "ha" as my dying breath.
263
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,389
- I don't think...
- I would.
264
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,476
No, you wouldn't.
A bullet to the head, you idiot.
265
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,478
- "Ha..."
- You wouldn't say "A-ha."
266
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:02,953
- I'd get the "ha" out.
- There would be no "ha".
267
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,356
I'd say,"If Steve were here now,
I know what he'd say."
268
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,789
- Ha.
- Ha.
269
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,676
Raya con berenjena y albahaca.
270
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,597
- Gracias.
- Muchas gracias.
271
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,199
Now we're in business.
272
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,713
Wonderful.
273
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,355
- Fish... tastes good?
- Mm. Nice ratatouille.
274
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,358
Redmayne, Cumberbatch.
275
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,469
Tim Hoddleston.
276
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,910
Tim Hoddleston, Damian Lewis,
277
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,154
all of them...
278
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,077
How many of those are Etonians?
279
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,475
There are too many posh actors
and we need a cull.
280
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,397
You know, what no-one's ever noticed
281
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,238
is how Eddie Redmayne, the name,
282
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,953
is the sort of name that a...
283
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,116
upper middle-class girl
would give to her pony.
284
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,754
- Yeah.
- "Father..." - it's a chestnut mare -
285
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,836
"May I ride Eddie Redmayne this weekend?"
286
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,758
"You may, darling, would you like to get
Mr. Hiddleston out of the stable, too?"
287
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,279
(SNORTING LAUGHTER)
288
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,993
"Come on, Eddie Redmayne.
Come on, that's a good boy."
289
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,439
- (STEVE CLIP-CLOPS)
- "Here comes Mr. Hiddleston."
290
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:20,469
(STEVE NEIGHS)
291
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,151
(CHEF SPEAKS SPANISH)
292
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,197
Lomo de cerdo con melocotones
y vainilla.
293
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,357
- Gracias.
- Muchas gracias.
294
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,118
Wow.
295
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,832
Wow.
296
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,154
Would you ever do Shakespeare on stage?
297
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,192
I would have liked to have played Hamlet.
298
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:55,314
That train has left the station.
299
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,396
Olivier played him when he was 42.
300
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,953
Olivier was a better actor than you.
301
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,991
- Well, a different actor.
- A better actor.
302
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,029
A different actor.
303
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,753
- King Lear?
- He's an old man.
304
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,392
He's not that old, he's a father.
305
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,159
You've got more in common with him
than you have with a teenager.
306
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:21,390
- Have you lost something?
- She has gone forever.
307
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,878
I know when one is living
and one is dead.
308
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,719
And she is dead as earth.
309
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,790
Lend me a looking glass
as if her breath...
310
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,111
...may mist or stain the stone.
311
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,473
Why then, she lives.
312
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,472
Very good. Very good, Midsomer Murders,
313
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,398
you're a father who has just been told
his daughter has been killed
314
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,078
in a road accident and that is effective,
315
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,350
and we're straight into
the adverts after that.
316
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,629
(AS MICK JAGGER) I have, of late, though
wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth,
317
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,591
forgone all custom of exercise.
318
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,949
Indeed it goes so heavily
with my disposition
319
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,116
that this goodly frame,
the Earth, look you,
320
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,594
this fine o'erhanging firmament sky,
321
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:10,428
it seems nothing to me
but a foul congregation of vapours.
322
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,072
Ehh!
323
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,156
Jumping Jack Flash.
324
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,870
Stones do Shakespeare, come on!
325
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,876
(AS MICK JAGGER) Oh, that this too,
326
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:26,553
too solid flesh would melt
and resolve itself into a dew
327
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:31,628
or that the Everlasting had not fixed
his canon 'gainst self-slaughter.
328
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,749
Has Russell Brand ever done Shakespeare?
329
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,153
- Oh, God, God...
- Mick Jagger.
330
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,430
You're doing Mick Jagger.
331
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,549
Hah!
332
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,830
- "Hah!" What's that?
- All right...
333
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,553
"Hah, hah!" That's not Mick Jagger,
that's just noises.
334
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,512
- Hi, Steve, how you doing? All right?
- Hi, Steve...
335
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,551
Quiet, let me do it.
336
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,670
You can't do it, you're copying mine.
337
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,631
It isn't like that, it's all gay,
he goes like that.
338
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,796
What a piece of work is a man?
339
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,149
He goes really deep sometimes.
You can't get down there.
340
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,112
You can only go up there, you need to
go up and down and do him properly.
341
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,276
Are you saying I can't get down there?
342
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,958
Are you seriously saying
I can't get down there?
343
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,833
No, don't...
Let's just say I do a better Mick Jagger.
344
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,832
(PHONE RINGS)
345
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:16,915
Hello.
346
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,951
- Hi, Steve.
- Hello, Emma, love.
347
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,149
How are you? How's it going?
348
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,668
Doing very well, yes.
349
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,109
Good, good. How is Rob doing?
350
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,754
Rob is great, he's doing very well indeed.
351
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,518
I'm good, I'm good.
352
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,152
You're on speakerphone,
that's why I'm being nice.
353
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,078
- Hiya. How are you?
- Hi, Rob. Yeah, I'm good, thanks.
354
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,475
I'm calling to remind you that
I'm coming out to see you tomorrow.
355
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,476
- Yay.
- Thank God.
356
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,750
I'm at breaking point.
357
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,189
OK, great, and I'm bringing Yolanda
with me.
358
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,355
Do the photos for the New York Times.
359
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:45,389
Oh, great.
360
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,078
And the Observer.
361
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,395
I just wanted to remind you
that they do want you to dress up
362
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,352
as Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, OK?
363
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,834
- (ROB GUFFAWS)
- What a surprise.
364
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,359
Which one am I?
365
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,389
You are... You are Sancho Panza.
366
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,911
- ROB: Yay!
- STEVE: Good. Supporting role, as ever.
367
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:18,990
ROB: "The Parador de Cuenca
is a majestic former convent..."
368
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:23,192
Careful.
"...perched above the Hu�car gorge
369
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,629
"with stunning views of the old town."
370
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,353
STEVE: Look at that, look at that.
Oh, that's beautiful.
371
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,470
ROB: Don't look at it too much.
372
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,589
ROB: La, la, la, la
373
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,189
La, la, la, la
374
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:44,711
La, la, la, la
375
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:48,230
? La, la, la, la... ?
376
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,793
Would you like to join me?
377
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,354
...La
378
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,791
BOTH: La, la, la-la
379
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:02,472
? La, la, la-la. ?
380
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,156
ROB: Join us.
381
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,954
This Sunday evening at seven...
382
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,037
? La, la, la... ?
383
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,310
...as we hum together...
384
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:21,435
? La, la, la, la-la... ?
385
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,358
...in Tunes You Might Remember.
386
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,437
? La, la, la-la... ?
387
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,558
Nigel Mansell there.
388
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,398
You realise your Holy Grail tonight.
389
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,635
A night spent in a convent.
390
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:45,475
(PHONE RINGS)
391
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,512
- Hello.
- WOMAN: Hi, is that Rob Brydon?
392
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:52,109
- Speaking.
- I've got Matt Jacobs foryou.
393
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,149
OK.
394
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,716
MATT: Rob Brydon!
395
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,113
Hello.
396
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,196
- Hi, Matt.
- Hey, man, how are you doing?
397
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,231
I'm all right, how are you?
398
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,191
I'm good, how's London?
399
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,595
I'm in Spain, I'm not in London,
I'm in Spain.
400
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,232
Hi, Greg.
401
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,032
Hi, Steve, how are you?
402
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,195
I've been better.
403
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:15,791
Do you know they've brought a new writer
on to rewrite Missing?
404
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,115
Yes, but it's nothing, it's just standard,
405
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,196
it's just for a polish, that's all.
406
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,434
I'm with Steve,
407
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,392
with... with Steve Coogan.
408
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,749
Ah, Ste-ve Coogan, yeah, yeah, good, good.
409
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,916
Is this the Matt that's Steve's agent?
410
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,758
Yeah...
Well, no, I mean, I've left the agency.
411
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,951
We met at Sundance, you remember that?
412
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,992
I've got two Oscar nominations.
413
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,077
The last film I wrote
had four Academy Award nominations.
414
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:44,749
Yes, but, do you know what?
He's great. He's up-and-coming.
415
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,360
Up-and-coming? I've up and come,
416
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,799
I've already up and come.
417
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,035
You have, no, absolutely,
you have, Steve, you have.
418
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,308
Look, let me cut to the chase.
419
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:53,679
I saw you in the...
420
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,238
- The Horseman.
- The Huntsman.
421
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,840
The Huntsman, I saw you in The Huntsman,
I thought you were fantastic.
422
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,599
I mean, really, you burned up the screen.
You've got it.
423
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,029
That little midget walk you did -
the screen loves you,
424
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,752
but you were being underused.
425
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,279
Let me cut to the chase, OK?
426
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,471
You should be doing
what Nick Frost is doing.
427
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,193
Well, I did. I did The Huntsman with him.
428
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,836
This is what I'm saying. You should be
doing what James Corden is doing.
429
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,313
He's the biggest thing on TV...
430
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:23,511
I was with James in Gavin & Stacey.
431
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,074
I heard about that,
it was supposed to be fantastic.
432
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:28,634
I missed it,
but I'll definitely get a copy.
433
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:29,874
You should be the new Simon Pegg...
434
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:34,869
You should be, you could be,
you will be, the new Ricky Gervais.
435
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,639
Oh, gosh, well, Ricky -
that's what we all dream of.
436
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,193
What does Jeff think of this?
437
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,119
Jeff's fine with it. Jeff is very busy
doing that other screenplay for Fox.
438
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,354
What script is Jeff doing for Fox?
439
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,595
- I didn't know that.
- It's a script
440
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,198
- for George Clooney.
- For George Clooney?
441
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,153
I had no idea about it.
Another thing I had no idea about.
442
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,918
Have you ever done any hosting?
443
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,678
- Oh, gosh...
- Any awards ceremonies?
444
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,517
I hosted the L.A. Baftas once.
445
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:58,675
The what?
446
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,153
They have L.A. Baftas?
447
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,077
Who do they give those to?
448
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,917
Listen, never mind -
you should be hosting the Golden Globes.
449
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,359
This is what I'm talking about.
450
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,231
It's my script, I wrote it.
451
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,157
Well, I co-wrote it.
452
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,236
I'm producing it,
I'm going to star in it,
453
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,238
not Tim Hoddleston
or some other fucking posh twat.
454
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,794
This should be the best phone call -
this will be
455
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,798
- the best phone call you've ever had.
- Yes.
456
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,239
- It's my film, OK?
- Of course it is.
457
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,033
That's what it's going to be.
Good, thank you.
458
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:30,829
ROB: Wow.
459
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:36,273
Yeah, this would not pass
building regulations back in the UK.
460
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,313
ROB: Look how low the handrail is.
461
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,238
Lindsay Kemp was the guy
in The Wicker Man
462
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,794
who invited Edward Woodward into the pub.
463
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,479
He is also the guy
who taught David Bowie mime.
464
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,033
That's where I know him from.
465
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,550
Did he teach him to dance in the street
with Mick Jagger?
466
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,160
Doubtful, that's very...
No, he's much more refined than that.
467
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,953
(AS JAGGER) We had a great time,
didn't we, David, do you remember?
468
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,399
Yeah, I do remember.
469
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,112
You wore a really long coat,
do you remember?
470
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,469
Yes, I do. It was very much
improvised on the day.
471
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,158
That's right, it was very low budget.
472
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,316
For Comic Relief. So we just...
473
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:09,679
You had a really long coat.
474
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,030
Are you all right, Mick? You seem to be
talking in a rather exaggerated way.
475
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,674
No, I'm just remembering the time.
Do you remember, David?
476
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,392
- You had a long coat.
- Have you dropped some speed?
477
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,396
- What?
- You sound like you've done some speed.
478
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,998
I'm Mick Jagger, you know.
479
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,917
(GUITAR AND SINGING)
480
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,554
ROB: Gypsy Kings, the wilderness years.
481
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,273
STEVE: Yeah, it's a shame,
what's happened to them.
482
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,191
British at the end.
483
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,390
Stands out like sore thumb.
484
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,431
That's what Laurie Lee did.
485
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,199
To pay his way around Spain. He busked.
486
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,673
(SINGING CONTINUES)
487
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:57,871
STEVE: You know that Cuenca was
one of the last places
488
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,354
to fall to the fascists in the Civil War.
489
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,756
March the 29th, 1939.
490
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,711
Perfect position, it's up on a hilltop,
491
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,433
so very difficult to attack
and very easy to defend.
492
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,152
Yeah, and they may very well have held out
493
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:14,318
if it were not for the fact that the army,
the Republican Army,
494
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,998
turned against the socialist government.
495
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,713
If it weren't for that,
Franco may well have not won.
496
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,637
Hola.
497
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,193
I gave you money before, mate.
498
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,674
Oh, yeah, sorry, fellas. Take care.
You can have a drink with us
499
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,154
- if you want, though.
- Yeah? You sure?
500
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,792
- Yeah, grab a beer. Have a seat.
- That would be lovely.
501
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,319
- Cheers, man.
- No worries.
502
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:31,634
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
503
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,069
- ROB: Sound very good.
- Thank you, mate.
504
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,395
- I especially like your backing singers.
- Oh, yeah.
505
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,317
- Hardly the Ronettes, right?
- Do you know them?
506
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:40,749
Yeah, I suppose -
new acquaintances, maybe.
507
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,233
- Wow.
- Yeah.
508
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,032
So, you guys, are you on holiday?
509
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,719
- No, we're working.
- Oh, right.
510
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:52,476
I'm writing a book about
my travel through Spain,
511
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,717
replicating a journey I did
when I was a younger man.
512
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,239
Like, it's getting
a little bit inspired by...
513
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,679
Gracias.
514
00:23:58,720 --> 00:23:59,709
...Laurie Lee, you know,
515
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,876
When I Walked Out
One Midsummer Morning.
516
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,114
Only we're driving it.
517
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,309
- Cheers.
- Cheers, mate.
518
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,112
Yeah, I love Laurie Lee.
519
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,196
That's part of the reason,
when I saw you busking there,
520
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,639
I said, "Oh, this is how Laurie Lee..."
521
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,989
Because he paid his way through Spain
by doing the same thing.
522
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,315
With a violin, yeah, right on.
523
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:15,634
How long have you been here?
524
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,910
- Spain?
- Yeah.
525
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,315
Like, nearly nine months, I think.
526
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,395
Oh, wow.
527
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:22,919
Yeah, I've just been sort of
travelling around,
528
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,077
trying to soak up the language
and relying on the kindness of strangers.
529
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,395
Well, that's the authentic way to do it.
530
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,919
Yeah, it's all right.
531
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,315
- Strolling minstrel.
- Exactly.
532
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,191
So are you guys staying in Cuenca long?
533
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,073
No, we're in... One day in every place.
I'm writing restaurant reviews,
534
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,839
so we go to one town,
we're there a day and then we go on.
535
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,235
Oh, have you been in San Sebastian
for food?
536
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,713
It's the best place in Spain for food
by a country mile.
537
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:44,636
I know.
538
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,477
We were near there, in Santander,
weren't we?
539
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,509
- Yeah.
- Or Catalonia?
540
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,152
Not just Barcelona,
the food there's excellent.
541
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,156
Yeah, we just... Well, we're not...
We thought...
542
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,794
We were going to go there
but we thought it was a bit too obvious.
543
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:57,037
We're trying to do stuff
that's a little bit, like, kind of,
544
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,469
the kind of nooks and crannies,
slightly off the beaten track.
545
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,272
Like San Luca, near C�diz?
546
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:02,673
The tuna there is absolutely banging.
547
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,312
- Yeah, I know.
- Love that.
548
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:06,476
It's more like the culture
than the food, although...
549
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,592
Food is part of it, but it's more like
the, kind of, cultural experience.
550
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,359
But if it's food and culture
that you're looking for,
551
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,719
Valencia.
552
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,113
- Valencia?
- Yeah, you probably know it.
553
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,559
- Yeah, I know.
- Casa Montana.
554
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,431
- Yeah, it's the best.
- I know.
555
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:19,595
And Valencia's got the Holy Grail.
556
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,392
- Yeah?
- Yeah, in Valencia, yeah.
557
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,192
I was telling him
that before I came out here,
558
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,913
I didn't realise that the Holy Grail
was a physical thing.
559
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,871
I thought it was...
just a figure of speech.
560
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,433
- Well, it's the real deal.
- Yeah.
561
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,038
I thought it was in a monastery
in the north.
562
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,834
Yeah. Well, it was, but then when El Cid,
when he recaptured Valencia
563
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,359
- and drove the Muslims out...
- Yeah.
564
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,755
...when the cathedral in Valencia
was built,
565
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:39,869
they brought it down from the north
566
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,399
and put it in the cathedral
in El Cid's honour.
567
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,716
It's no more that
than the Shroud of Turin is the linen
568
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,479
that wrapped the body of Christ up,
you know, so...
569
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,317
Yeah, that may as be, but...
570
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,191
It's really beautiful.
You should check it out.
571
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,674
How long does it take
to get to Valencia from here?
572
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,631
God, like Valencia's,
like, two hours away, man. It's close.
573
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:56,999
Oh, let's go to Valencia.
574
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,951
Well, no, we're...
We're not going to Valencia.
575
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,433
We've got a whole schedule. No.
576
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,799
We could go to Valencia, it's two hours.
577
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,319
We've got a schedule worked out.
578
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:05,794
We've got a preordained route
taking in some...
579
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,957
Where's the fun in that?
Stray from the path, man.
580
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,117
We sort of are straying from the path by
not going to places like Catalonia, so...
581
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,799
- OK.
- You can go there for us.
582
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,910
- I will. Again.
- OK, again, yeah.
583
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,632
All right. Listen, I'm going to head back
to the hotel,
584
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,274
anyway, so... I'm going to head off.
585
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,629
- Going back to the hotel? Now?
- Yeah, yeah.
586
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,036
You're all right, you'll be all right,
here, with... your man.
587
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,310
Get him to play you a few tunes.
All right, mate.
588
00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:30,509
Good luck with your Bo Diddley stuff.
589
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,391
- Thanks for the beer, man.
- Yeah, no worries.
590
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,237
- OK.
- All right. See you later.
591
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:37,989
Sorry about that.
592
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,749
Touched a nerve, no more.
He doesn't like to be told things that...
593
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,234
...he thinks he knows.
594
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,429
Hello.
595
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,390
Hello.
596
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,716
You look delectable and tasty.
597
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,113
Like a piece of ham.
598
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,072
Oh, all right, then - you look sexy.
599
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:59,588
I don't feel very sexy.
600
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:03,599
I had a chat with the builders
and they can't start for another month.
601
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,392
STEVE: Hey, Mischa.
602
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:06,429
Hi.
603
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:07,833
Where are you?
604
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:13,318
I'm in this amazing, medieval town
in the middle of Spain.
605
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:16,193
And the whole town is built
into the cliff face.
606
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,674
I had a fan phone call today.
607
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:23,111
Do you remember the agent
Steve used to have in LA called Matt?
608
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,388
Sort of, yeah.
609
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,078
Look, when you come back,
610
00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:30,477
I was thinking maybe we could go out
to Rachel's for the weekend.
611
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,590
Fantastic, yeah, I'd love to do that.
612
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,835
Yeah, but you know what?
613
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,348
We'll definitely do that,
but why don't you come out earlier?
614
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,960
I'm going to stay an extra week
in Andalucia.
615
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:44,278
He wants me to go with him
and be represented by him in LA.
616
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,914
Surely there's no point in that, is there?
617
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,313
Absolutely the right answer.
618
00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:50,032
(AS HENRY KELLY) Well done.
I give you two points for that.
619
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:54,676
That is what I will be telling this little
American fellow in me own way.
620
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,598
- And it's too far away from me.
- Yes, of course it is.
621
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,596
But isn't Joe supposed to come down?
622
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,108
Yeah, but he... he can do his own thing,
623
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:03,639
you know, he's a big boy.
624
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,797
- How old is he now?
- He's 20 years old now.
625
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,432
Oh, you'd better watch out.
626
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,277
I might like him more than I like you.
627
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,673
Yeah, you're gross.
628
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,950
Look, I've got to go.
I'll talk to you later.
629
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,752
OK, bye.
630
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,153
(STEVE SIGHS)
631
00:28:21,203 --> 00:28:25,753
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