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1
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:10,699
Hello? Steve, it's Rob.
2
00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:13,459
Oh hey, hey. How's the show going?
3
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:15,899
Just finished.
Just started the hiatus.
4
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,419
Yeah, I know. I spoke to your agent.
5
00:00:17,419 --> 00:00:20,018
Listen, The Observer wants us
to do more restaurant reviews.
6
00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:23,578
Another six lunches. Really?
But this time in Italy.
7
00:00:23,579 --> 00:00:25,778
La bella Italia, yeah?
8
00:00:25,779 --> 00:00:28,258
What do you think?
Well...
9
00:00:28,259 --> 00:00:29,738
They'll fly you to Europe.
10
00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:32,778
First class? No.
They're offering business.
11
00:00:32,779 --> 00:00:37,338
This programme contains very strong
language and adult humour.
12
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,177
For you, sir.
13
00:00:39,178 --> 00:00:40,697
Grazie Mille. Prego.
14
00:00:40,698 --> 00:00:43,977
Grazie. Sleep well last night?
15
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:48,537
Yeah, like a baby. I didn't.
Up worrying all night. Why?
16
00:00:48,538 --> 00:00:50,777
Been sent a script
for an American film.
17
00:00:50,777 --> 00:00:53,776
Got to put it on tape, get it back
to them today.
18
00:00:53,777 --> 00:00:55,976
What's the part?
19
00:00:55,977 --> 00:00:58,616
The lead in a Michael Mann film.
20
00:00:58,617 --> 00:01:01,176
What? Really? Yeah.
21
00:01:01,177 --> 00:01:03,816
Well, it's a mafia film.
One of the leads.
22
00:01:03,817 --> 00:01:06,616
He's a sort of an easily
led sort of guy,
23
00:01:06,617 --> 00:01:08,976
who gets killed at the second act.
24
00:01:08,976 --> 00:01:13,335
You're Welsh. Lot of similarities
between the Welsh and the Italians,
25
00:01:13,336 --> 00:01:16,535
you know that. No, there aren't.
Yes, there are. Both love singing.
26
00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:18,575
Both short and swarthy.
Both love ice cream.
27
00:01:18,576 --> 00:01:21,536
There's loads of Italians in Wales
who run ice cream parlours.
28
00:01:24,655 --> 00:01:27,974
You winding me up? No.
29
00:01:27,975 --> 00:01:30,854
So will you
help me with the audition later?
30
00:01:30,855 --> 00:01:33,374
It's just an audition.
It's not an offer, is it?
31
00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,934
No, I've got to put myself on tape.
So will you help me? Right.
32
00:01:35,935 --> 00:01:37,414
Help you and read the other part?
33
00:01:37,415 --> 00:01:40,414
No, Alba's going to read
the other part. Who?
34
00:01:40,415 --> 00:01:43,494
Alba. The receptionist. She's going
to read the other part? How...
35
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:46,934
Yeah, it's a woman's part.
How do you wangle that? I asked her.
36
00:01:48,094 --> 00:01:51,093
We rehearsed last night.
37
00:01:51,094 --> 00:01:54,773
She'll read.
I just need you to hold the camera.
38
00:01:54,774 --> 00:01:56,094
A nice shot.
39
00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,452
You're back?
40
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:02,772
AMERICAN ACCENT: Working
late, sorry. You want a drink?
41
00:02:02,773 --> 00:02:06,412
I was already in bed. Long night.
42
00:02:06,413 --> 00:02:09,972
When I used to imagine what we'd be
doing ten years ago...
43
00:02:09,973 --> 00:02:15,252
She'd be at school. This is it.
I love you. I love Izzy.
44
00:02:15,252 --> 00:02:19,291
I love this house. And now that
we got it, I can't enjoy it.
45
00:02:19,292 --> 00:02:22,011
There's too much going on out there.
46
00:02:22,012 --> 00:02:24,532
My head has to be out there.
47
00:02:25,932 --> 00:02:29,131
Why don't we just get away?
Go to the lake house.
48
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:32,452
Just a few days, like we used to?
I can't right now.
49
00:02:37,571 --> 00:02:39,490
That's, erm...
50
00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:41,930
Do you want to do it like that?
Why not?
51
00:02:41,931 --> 00:02:44,010
I think a sprinkling
of Al Pacino would be good,
52
00:02:44,011 --> 00:02:47,250
but you...do you really want to be
doing an impersonation?
53
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,010
I want to do it like this.
54
00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:51,889
Mind you, you might not
recognise who you're doing.
55
00:02:51,890 --> 00:02:55,649
So, there might be some
method in your madness.
56
00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:58,369
Well, I'm a method actor.
57
00:02:58,370 --> 00:03:02,649
AS AL PACINO: There is
method in my madness. That is Al.
58
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,129
NORMAL VOICE: Al Pacino.
59
00:03:04,130 --> 00:03:06,530
AS AL PACINO: Not what I was doing.
60
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,889
Right, shall we do it again,
Mr Kubrick?
61
00:03:12,009 --> 00:03:16,328
Alba, when Rob kisses you, you look
very uncomfortable. No, I'm happy.
62
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,889
Yeah? I'm comfortable. OK. Great.
Whenever you're ready.
63
00:03:27,888 --> 00:03:32,687
("Hand In My Pocket"
by Alanis Morissette plays)
64
00:03:32,688 --> 00:03:34,327
STEVE HESITANTLY SINGS ALONG
65
00:03:34,328 --> 00:03:36,047
I'm broke but I'm happy
66
00:03:36,048 --> 00:03:38,127
I'm poor but I'm kind
67
00:03:38,128 --> 00:03:41,408
I'm short and I'm healthy, yeah
68
00:03:44,207 --> 00:03:46,166
I'm high but I'm grounded
69
00:03:46,167 --> 00:03:48,966
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
70
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:52,886
I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby
71
00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:56,087
What it all comes down to
72
00:03:57,166 --> 00:04:01,326
Is that everything's going to
be fine, fine, fine
73
00:04:03,166 --> 00:04:05,965
Cause I've got one
hand in my pocket
74
00:04:05,966 --> 00:04:08,805
? And the other one is
giving a high-five... ?
75
00:04:08,806 --> 00:04:11,125
Yeah, keep your hands on the wheel.
That's what she...
76
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,645
That's what she's saying. She's not
driving the car though
77
00:04:13,645 --> 00:04:15,564
with a passenger in.
Yeah, but she's like...
78
00:04:15,565 --> 00:04:17,804
Yeah, if she were driving, I would
say the same to her.
79
00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:20,525
"Alanis, love, both hands on the
wheel, please".
80
00:04:22,045 --> 00:04:24,844
There is light at the end
of the tunnel. Yeah. Yeah.
81
00:04:24,845 --> 00:04:27,164
Yeah, but then just
when you think everything's good,
82
00:04:27,165 --> 00:04:29,604
all of a sudden... Then and
suddenly... ..out of nowhere.
83
00:04:29,604 --> 00:04:31,524
..out of nowhere,
you're in the dark again.
84
00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:34,923
Right, now then.
85
00:04:34,924 --> 00:04:38,483
Go left, go left. I can't fuck, fuck,
fuck, can't go left.
86
00:04:38,484 --> 00:04:40,003
Fuck, fuck, fuck?
87
00:04:40,004 --> 00:04:43,883
You're being Hugh Grant... Fuck,
fuck, fuckety fuck.
88
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:47,483
That's no entry. Can we have the sat
nav on now please? OK.
89
00:04:47,483 --> 00:04:49,682
PHONE RINGS
Where are you?
90
00:04:49,683 --> 00:04:54,162
I think we're on the outskirts
of Rome. Right, well, we're here.
91
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,122
We've arrived already. So...
92
00:04:56,123 --> 00:04:58,402
if you definitely follow
the signs for the centre,
93
00:04:58,403 --> 00:05:00,402
we're near the Piazza Del Popolo.
What signs?
94
00:05:00,403 --> 00:05:03,242
There are no signs. If you follow
signs for the centre.
95
00:05:03,243 --> 00:05:05,642
Guide us in. Ask her just
to talk us in,
96
00:05:05,642 --> 00:05:07,961
like a stricken pilot in an airliner.
97
00:05:07,962 --> 00:05:12,522
Have you not got your sat nav? It's
having trouble finding the satellite.
98
00:05:14,442 --> 00:05:15,721
Ooh hot.
99
00:05:15,722 --> 00:05:18,961
AS ALAN BENNETT: Steven, struggling
to cope with the heat.
100
00:05:18,962 --> 00:05:21,601
Seriously, will you, please will you
just not do that any more?
101
00:05:21,601 --> 00:05:25,680
Seriously? Yeah. Say no more.
Can I just...
102
00:05:25,681 --> 00:05:28,640
And go left, go left.
Can't go left. There's a bike there.
103
00:05:28,641 --> 00:05:29,801
I'll kill him.
104
00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:35,840
Right. You got a right,
right, right. Up there, there. Whoa!
105
00:05:35,841 --> 00:05:39,640
Bloody hell.
This is where we're going, right?
106
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,159
That's where we want to be. You need
to go round. Watch him, watch him.
107
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:47,479
Watch the Smart car, watch the Smart
car! What now? Bloody hell.
108
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,800
What's wrong with you?
109
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,000
Right, go round
this wall and get back inside.
110
00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:01,198
"While stands the Coliseum,
Rome shall stand.
111
00:06:01,199 --> 00:06:04,678
"When the Coliseum falls,
Rome shall fall.
112
00:06:04,679 --> 00:06:08,158
"When Rome falls, the world."
113
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,958
Russell Crowe? Gladiator?
114
00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:12,318
Almost. Lord Byron.
115
00:06:12,318 --> 00:06:15,517
ROB AS RUSSELL CROWE: "When the
Coliseum stands, Rome stands."
116
00:06:15,518 --> 00:06:19,717
Making it sound like it's a
Rolf Harris reciting Byron,
117
00:06:19,718 --> 00:06:21,478
trying to do Russell Crowe.
118
00:06:23,118 --> 00:06:25,997
AS ROLF HARRIS: Can you tell what it
is yet? I'm a Gladiator.
119
00:06:25,998 --> 00:06:27,357
Is this the right way?
120
00:06:27,358 --> 00:06:30,837
There is an obelisk in our square.
I know that.
121
00:06:30,837 --> 00:06:34,396
You'll have to go around...all right,
watch him. All right. Is this Popolo?
122
00:06:34,397 --> 00:06:36,997
Is this Piazza Del Popolo?
I don't know.
123
00:06:38,157 --> 00:06:40,557
Yeah, this is it. This is it, this is
it. Thank God for that.
124
00:06:44,477 --> 00:06:45,877
Bleeding ridiculous.
125
00:06:48,396 --> 00:06:50,395
It's not like it's a new town.
126
00:06:50,396 --> 00:06:53,995
They've had 2,000 years to sort out
the traffic system.
127
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,755
I'm going to bring up the suitcases.
No, they can do that.
128
00:06:56,756 --> 00:06:58,156
And they can park the car.
129
00:07:02,675 --> 00:07:06,754
Steve. Hi. How you doing?
Hello. You all right?
130
00:07:06,755 --> 00:07:09,754
Yeah, it was a nightmare. How are
you? You all right? Nice to see you.
131
00:07:09,755 --> 00:07:12,954
Nice to see you too. You remember
Yolanda? Yeah, hi, how are you?
132
00:07:12,955 --> 00:07:15,754
Nice to see you. How are you?
Careful, I'm very, very sweaty.
133
00:07:15,755 --> 00:07:19,274
Looking good. Thank you. Nice dress.
Lady in red. Terrible song.
134
00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:21,353
Well, you've made it in the end.
You're here now.
135
00:07:21,354 --> 00:07:23,473
Yes, all roads lead to Rome.
Absolutely.
136
00:07:23,474 --> 00:07:27,513
All the roads we were on went round
in circles. So are we checked in?
137
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,593
No, actually you're not
staying here.
138
00:07:29,594 --> 00:07:31,673
You're going to stay
in the apartment above
139
00:07:31,674 --> 00:07:32,873
the Keats and Shelley Museum.
140
00:07:32,874 --> 00:07:34,473
Where Keats lived. Yeah.
141
00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:36,873
Can we use your rooms for us
to have a shower or something?
142
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,672
Course you can. All right. Can you
get our bags shown up to the room?
143
00:07:39,673 --> 00:07:42,153
Yeah. We'll sort it all out.
Take your time. See you in a bit.
144
00:07:55,672 --> 00:07:58,911
It's quite small. Wow, it's nice.
145
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,151
Posthumous Reputations.
146
00:08:01,152 --> 00:08:05,511
"Though hardly known during their
lifetime, after their death,
147
00:08:05,512 --> 00:08:09,711
"both Keats and Shelley became more
famous than Byron."
148
00:08:09,711 --> 00:08:12,030
So? There you go. There is hope.
149
00:08:12,031 --> 00:08:14,790
People will laugh at your jokes
when you're dead.
150
00:08:14,791 --> 00:08:18,030
You're not "hardly known", Rob.
Thank you.
151
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,390
There's Byron. Let's have a shot.
152
00:08:20,391 --> 00:08:23,030
Stick yourself in front of him. Then
make the pose.
153
00:08:23,031 --> 00:08:24,431
You're a good mimic.
154
00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:30,229
Oh, he can't decide.
Yes, he's going to do it.
155
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:33,469
Right, hang on. Ready?
Wait a minute. One, two, three.
156
00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:34,749
Bang. Nice.
157
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:38,229
Well done. Look at that.
That's good. That is good actually.
158
00:08:38,230 --> 00:08:40,829
Captures his dark mood.
Oh, you've done that.
159
00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:44,349
Is this where Shelley was cremated?
That's Viareggio. Oh, wow, yeah.
160
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,948
That's where we were yesterday.
161
00:08:45,949 --> 00:08:48,788
Sun loungers don't really
come across as they should.
162
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:51,308
This is Teresa Guiccioli.
Come and see this.
163
00:08:51,309 --> 00:08:55,148
She's the one who was the...
she was married to a nobleman,
164
00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:57,668
she became Byron's mistress
when she was 17
165
00:08:57,669 --> 00:09:00,148
and they made love for four
days straight.
166
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:03,307
Wow. I mean is that possible?
Well, yeah.
167
00:09:03,308 --> 00:09:05,467
Steve, four days
continuous love making.
168
00:09:05,468 --> 00:09:07,547
I'm glad you didn't try to answer
that yourself.
169
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,547
No. Out of my depth.
I've gone to an expert.
170
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:12,187
It depends what you
mean by continuous... Well, exactly.
171
00:09:12,188 --> 00:09:13,587
What do they mean by continuous?
172
00:09:13,588 --> 00:09:16,187
..like four times a day
probably. Is that... Yeah. Yeah.
173
00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:18,947
When it's on a weekend,
I mean, on a bank holiday,
174
00:09:18,947 --> 00:09:20,666
that's easily achievable.
175
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,386
THEY LAUGH
176
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,906
My God, is that his bed?
It's so small.
177
00:09:24,907 --> 00:09:27,946
Is this the one he actually died in?
There's a little sign here.
178
00:09:27,947 --> 00:09:31,386
It's by IKEA. From their Romantics
Collection. Right.
179
00:09:31,387 --> 00:09:34,466
If you're, you know, don't have much
space in the spare room,
180
00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:36,346
but you want to have a poet to die.
181
00:09:42,746 --> 00:09:45,185
Oh, this is nice. It's really nice.
182
00:09:45,186 --> 00:09:47,945
You can imagine you're living just
where Keats was living. Yeah.
183
00:09:47,946 --> 00:09:50,865
He didn't really live here, did
he? I mean, it's just, you know,
184
00:09:50,865 --> 00:09:52,184
came here and then died.
185
00:09:52,185 --> 00:09:54,024
You are close to great location,
186
00:09:54,025 --> 00:09:56,224
The Spanish Steps. The Spanish
Steps.
187
00:09:56,225 --> 00:09:59,504
SPANISH ACCENT: For me, the
Spanish Step, if I am in Rome,
188
00:09:59,505 --> 00:10:03,344
is the one place I have to go. People
say, Manchego, why?
189
00:10:03,345 --> 00:10:07,984
I say, because for me, a little bit
of Spain in Italy, right now.
190
00:10:07,984 --> 00:10:10,023
Emma?
191
00:10:10,024 --> 00:10:12,743
Yeah? There's only one double bed.
What?
192
00:10:12,744 --> 00:10:14,543
Why don't we put a step in here?
193
00:10:14,544 --> 00:10:18,023
It's right next to the...
And he's doing... Listen.
194
00:10:18,024 --> 00:10:20,583
Do you want to sleep next to that?
Not really.
195
00:10:20,584 --> 00:10:24,143
What you saying then? What do you
want? Just get a room at your hotel.
196
00:10:24,143 --> 00:10:26,223
Yep, of course. Great. Good.
197
00:10:30,383 --> 00:10:33,182
Gin and tonic. Gin and tonic. Oh,
that's me. You sir.
198
00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:35,742
And lemonade for
the boy. Thank you very much.
199
00:10:35,743 --> 00:10:39,623
Just the tonic.
Enjoy your drink. Grazia.
200
00:10:41,382 --> 00:10:43,981
Look, there's so many tourists.
It's really...
201
00:10:43,982 --> 00:10:46,501
it's crazy, isn't it? There's too
many people in the world.
202
00:10:46,502 --> 00:10:49,301
It's overcrowded. In Shelley and
Byron's day, there was only,
203
00:10:49,302 --> 00:10:51,181
not much more than
one billion people.
204
00:10:51,182 --> 00:10:52,861
But there's always
been tourists here.
205
00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:56,501
That's why Byron left here. He said,
"I'm getting away from the tourists."
206
00:10:56,502 --> 00:10:59,381
And they annoyed him then
and there would have been far fewer.
207
00:10:59,381 --> 00:11:00,860
Yeah, but you should be pleased.
208
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,860
The whole reason you can get
this many people is
209
00:11:02,861 --> 00:11:05,860
because the ordinary man can travel,
which is your big thing, isn't it?
210
00:11:05,861 --> 00:11:08,460
In his day, it was just
the aristocracy. It was the nobleman.
211
00:11:08,461 --> 00:11:11,500
E.M. Forster writing about English
and Americans touring round Italy.
212
00:11:11,501 --> 00:11:12,740
Yeah, like Room With A View.
213
00:11:12,741 --> 00:11:14,020
Yeah, with Daniel Day Lewis,
214
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:16,180
when he used to be posh,
before he became Irish.
215
00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:18,299
AS POSH DANIEL DAY LEWIS:
Miss Honeychurch,
216
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:21,459
I wondered if you might allow me the
privilege of joining you for dinner
217
00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:22,819
on the Palazzo this evening?
218
00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:25,219
Why are you doing Hugh Grant?
I'm not doing Hugh Grant.
219
00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:28,899
Hugh Grant would be, "Oh, gosh,
Miss Honeychurch. I wondered if you
220
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,379
"might, as it were, join me
this evening?"
221
00:11:31,380 --> 00:11:34,739
It's different. Yeah. It sounds like,
a Hugh Grant, half an octave up.
222
00:11:34,739 --> 00:11:37,458
I went taller as well. I went taller.
I straightened my back.
223
00:11:37,459 --> 00:11:40,378
AS DANIEL DAY LEWIS: I would, I
spent 16 years of my life in prison
224
00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:41,818
for something I didn't do.
225
00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:45,418
I saw my father die in prison
for something he didn't do.
226
00:11:45,419 --> 00:11:49,898
"Daniel Day Lewis, is
Ronan Keating in Boyzone The Movie."
227
00:11:49,898 --> 00:11:53,177
It's Gerry Conlon from the Guildford
Four. Was that after Westlife?
228
00:11:53,178 --> 00:11:55,057
No, the Guildford Four.
229
00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:58,257
Wrongfully convicted of bombing
the Guildford pubs in 1974,
230
00:11:58,258 --> 00:12:02,377
along with the Birmingham Six.
Did you ever see "Dan" in Lincoln?
231
00:12:02,378 --> 00:12:05,217
Apparently they had to call him
Mr President on set. Yeah.
232
00:12:05,218 --> 00:12:08,257
AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN: I wish to abolish
slavery before
233
00:12:08,257 --> 00:12:11,536
my term as president is done.
234
00:12:11,537 --> 00:12:15,736
I simply need the right
number of votes from congress.
235
00:12:15,737 --> 00:12:17,536
I think on the basis of that,
236
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,976
you might be able to do a good
Katharine Hepburn. Yes.
237
00:12:19,977 --> 00:12:23,936
AS KATHARINE HEPBURN: Norman, Norman,
the loons, Norman, the loons.
238
00:12:23,936 --> 00:12:26,095
Come and see the loons, Norman.
239
00:12:26,096 --> 00:12:27,895
AS HENRY FONDA: Yeah,
sure you want to,
240
00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:30,935
you want to violate my own
daughter under my own roof?
241
00:12:30,936 --> 00:12:33,975
Oh, Norman.
Nobody wants to violate our daughter.
242
00:12:33,976 --> 00:12:36,655
Well, he wants to
share a bedroom with her.
243
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,975
Well let 'em
share a bedroom, Norman.
244
00:12:38,976 --> 00:12:41,455
These are the modern times. It's the
1970s.
245
00:12:41,455 --> 00:12:43,574
Have you seen Dan Day Lewis
in the remake of
246
00:12:43,575 --> 00:12:45,414
Fellini's 8�?
247
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:48,934
Yeah. And there was a musical
version called Nine. Oh, God, yeah.
248
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,574
Dreadful. Awful.
249
00:12:50,575 --> 00:12:53,774
You know every Italian film you
reference is directed by Fellini?
250
00:12:53,775 --> 00:12:57,174
Did you get the box
set for Christmas? He's iconic.
251
00:12:57,174 --> 00:12:58,774
Isn't he iconic?
252
00:13:00,054 --> 00:13:03,253
He's making an oblique reference
to Alanis Morissette.
253
00:13:03,254 --> 00:13:05,853
Been listening to a lot of Alanis.
It's his favourite CD.
254
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:08,333
My wife's favourite CD. Is it? Mmhm.
255
00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:11,373
Isn't that one about a disastrous
relationship? Well, yes.
256
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,573
She listened to it just before she
met me. Very good.
257
00:13:13,573 --> 00:13:17,612
OK, that's all right then. I like
Alanis. She's very passionate.
258
00:13:17,613 --> 00:13:21,132
Now then, lunch.
I was given a choice by The Observer.
259
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,452
You can either go to this little sort
of hostaria,
260
00:13:23,453 --> 00:13:26,132
little side street thing.
261
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:30,172
Or, Oliver Glowig's new two
Michelin starred restaurant.
262
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:35,411
And which did you choose?
Oliver Glowig. Good.
263
00:13:35,412 --> 00:13:39,852
THEY SPEAK IN ITALIAN
264
00:13:41,492 --> 00:13:44,051
Oh, no, thank you.
Sorry, I'm OK.
265
00:13:44,052 --> 00:13:46,691
Have a glass of wine.
266
00:13:46,691 --> 00:13:50,610
Come on, we're all going to have a
glass of wine. Yeah, no, I can't.
267
00:13:50,611 --> 00:13:54,810
You on the wagon? I can't, because
I'm pregnant.
268
00:13:54,811 --> 00:13:57,570
Oh, my God. Really?
Congratulations. Yeah.
269
00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:59,570
Wow. Thank you.
270
00:13:59,571 --> 00:14:03,410
No, erm, that's fantastic. Thanks.
Congratulations.
271
00:14:03,411 --> 00:14:07,250
Yeah. How far gone?
About three and a half months. Wow.
272
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,849
So yeah, why? Did you just
think I'd gotten fat?
273
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:13,529
Well, I didn't like to say.
Well, you look good. You look...
274
00:14:13,530 --> 00:14:15,169
No, you're blooming.
275
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:18,529
"Blooming" is what you say when you
think, "they're packing a few pounds".
276
00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:21,169
I thought you were either pregnant,
or... Let myself go.
277
00:14:21,169 --> 00:14:23,129
..you're depressed.
And you're eating.
278
00:14:26,849 --> 00:14:28,048
Service.
279
00:14:28,049 --> 00:14:31,128
THEY SPEAK IN ITALIAN
280
00:14:31,129 --> 00:14:32,769
Grazia. Grazia.
281
00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:36,848
Pasta's perfect. Very delicate.
You can tell that's handmade pasta.
282
00:14:36,849 --> 00:14:39,328
You can tell, can't you?
It's lovely. Yeah.
283
00:14:39,328 --> 00:14:41,447
What's the food been like
so far in Italy,
284
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,447
compared to the food in the Lakes?
285
00:14:43,448 --> 00:14:45,607
A lot of pasta.
A lot of pasta. Yeah.
286
00:14:45,608 --> 00:14:50,247
You can't do the Atkins Diet on this
trip. Well, you are in Italy.
287
00:14:50,248 --> 00:14:53,127
I'm going to channel my inner
Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love
288
00:14:53,128 --> 00:14:55,887
and get in touch with
my love of pasta.
289
00:14:55,887 --> 00:14:58,486
That film was so funny.
Unintentionally funny.
290
00:14:58,487 --> 00:15:01,046
She's this American woman.
Very sophisticated. Very rich.
291
00:15:01,047 --> 00:15:03,806
She acts like she's never seen a
bowl of pasta or pizza in her life.
292
00:15:03,807 --> 00:15:04,926
I was like... I know.
293
00:15:04,927 --> 00:15:07,246
And she pitches up in Italy
and she wants to have a bath,
294
00:15:07,247 --> 00:15:09,486
but there's no hot water in Italy.
Which is absurd.
295
00:15:09,487 --> 00:15:11,166
How's the plumbing
been on your trip?
296
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:13,645
I've been very happy with
the level of plumbing. Yeah.
297
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,925
We haven't had any water
works issues.
298
00:15:15,926 --> 00:15:20,005
Not with the baths, no,
but personally, I'm always troubled.
299
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:23,125
You're getting to that age, Rob.
Well, I had cystitis for a while.
300
00:15:23,126 --> 00:15:25,405
Not now, Steve. Not now.
301
00:15:25,406 --> 00:15:27,805
It's not, no, sorry, a long,
long time ago. Very long time.
302
00:15:27,806 --> 00:15:29,286
Long time ago. Long time ago.
303
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:36,244
We were going to go to Naples because
Shelley lived there, Casanova,
304
00:15:36,245 --> 00:15:38,084
but he's put the kybosh
on that so now...
305
00:15:38,085 --> 00:15:40,284
I just wanted a bit of glamour.
306
00:15:40,285 --> 00:15:43,764
In my head I thought we'd get a bit
of glamour, a bit of like, you know,
307
00:15:43,765 --> 00:15:46,404
Dolce Vita, Anita Ekberg... Oh,
yeah, in the Trevi Fountain.
308
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,843
..and Marcello, what's his name?
Marcello Mastroianni.
309
00:15:48,844 --> 00:15:51,203
Marcello Mastroianni. He got very
cross when I told him
310
00:15:51,204 --> 00:15:54,163
I couldn't deliver Anita Ekberg.
He really had one of his fits then.
311
00:15:54,164 --> 00:15:56,843
Do you know, driving along in a TR3
with a cigarette hanging out the
312
00:15:56,844 --> 00:15:58,363
corner of his mouth, "Ciao bella."
313
00:15:58,364 --> 00:16:00,563
Well, the cigarette might fall out
if you said that.
314
00:16:00,564 --> 00:16:02,883
We were going to go there, but he
doesn't want to.
315
00:16:02,883 --> 00:16:05,842
So instead, we're going to the Amalfi
Coast. Nice. Pompeii. Sicily.
316
00:16:05,843 --> 00:16:08,682
Oh, why Sicily? Why Sicily? Yeah.
317
00:16:08,683 --> 00:16:10,402
AS AL PACINO: You're
asking me why...
318
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,282
She doesn't know what it's got to do
with Shelley and Byron.
319
00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:16,162
..we go to Sicily, let me tell you.
Nothing is the answer.
320
00:16:16,163 --> 00:16:18,322
It has nothing to do with
Shelley and Byron
321
00:16:18,323 --> 00:16:21,562
AS MARLON BRANDO: Sicily is the home
of the Godfather. Of course.
322
00:16:21,562 --> 00:16:23,241
We're thinking of going to Sicily,
323
00:16:23,242 --> 00:16:26,121
because it's where the Godfather
began, you know on Corleone.
324
00:16:26,122 --> 00:16:29,481
I want to have a homage.
Sounds like he's deaf. A pilgrimage.
325
00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:31,881
MIMICS ROB: I love you very much.
326
00:16:31,882 --> 00:16:33,281
He knows very well...
327
00:16:33,282 --> 00:16:35,721
ROB'S SPEECH
IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE
328
00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:38,760
I normally like your impressions
quite a lot.
329
00:16:38,761 --> 00:16:40,480
That's not his voice. It's like
that?
330
00:16:40,481 --> 00:16:42,920
No, I know that's not his voice
either. It's a deaf person.
331
00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:45,680
Well, you show me the voice. I can't
do the voice. All I know is that
332
00:16:45,681 --> 00:16:48,480
that's a deaf person. You come to me
but you don't call me Godfather.
333
00:16:48,481 --> 00:16:50,800
You tell me you do the talk
but you don't know the words.
334
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,760
AS MARLON BRANDO: You know, it turns
out that when you're doing it...
335
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,679
That's Jimmy Savile. What are you
doing? "Now then, now then, now then."
336
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,519
You want to talk about Jimmy
Savile? No, let's not bring that up.
337
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,719
He... Do you know what he said in
his autobiography? Yeah. yeah, true.
338
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,839
He said... He did
an interview about Jimmy Savile
339
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,919
and it said, "Jimmy's a great guy. I
really admire Jimmy Savile,"
340
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,279
blah, blah, blah.
341
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,158
Right and when he died,
he said, "People said
342
00:17:11,159 --> 00:17:13,718
"when he died all this stuff was
going to come out and has it?"
343
00:17:13,719 --> 00:17:16,278
Oh, Rob. That's what he said.
And do you know when it came out?
344
00:17:16,279 --> 00:17:18,478
About a week after. A week later.
Oh, no. A week later.
345
00:17:18,479 --> 00:17:21,518
Did you have no inkling that he was
a bit dodgy? Everyone else... Exactly.
346
00:17:21,519 --> 00:17:23,758
Everyone else thought, "This guy's
fucking weird".
347
00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:26,038
AS JIMMY SAVILE: I mean like, "How's
about that then?"
348
00:17:26,039 --> 00:17:27,798
I met him
when I was 18 and he was lovely...
349
00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:30,397
I thought you were going to say you
met him when you were eight.
350
00:17:30,398 --> 00:17:31,957
Everyone else thought he was weird.
351
00:17:31,958 --> 00:17:34,877
He seemed to think he was perfectly
normal. I had an act with a friend.
352
00:17:34,878 --> 00:17:37,277
We were on a radio show
and he was the main guest, right?
353
00:17:37,278 --> 00:17:39,397
I was about 18, maybe 19.
354
00:17:39,398 --> 00:17:40,757
And he talked to us and he said,
355
00:17:40,758 --> 00:17:43,237
AS JIMMY SAVILE: "Look at me," he
said, "Look at me.
356
00:17:43,237 --> 00:17:45,956
"I can't sing, I
can't dance, I can't act.
357
00:17:45,957 --> 00:17:51,756
"I can do fuck all. So what do I do?
I turn up, I smile, I wave.
358
00:17:51,757 --> 00:17:54,756
"The punters say, they look at me,
they say, Jimmy's happy,
359
00:17:54,757 --> 00:17:56,276
"therefore, so are we."
360
00:17:56,277 --> 00:17:58,116
NORMAL VOICE: And that was his
philosophy.
361
00:17:58,117 --> 00:18:00,876
AS JIMMY SAVILE: Well the thing is
you don't do him like the...
362
00:18:00,876 --> 00:18:02,635
Well, I don't come from
Manchester, do I?
363
00:18:02,636 --> 00:18:05,155
Well, neither does he actually.
He's actually from Leeds.
364
00:18:05,156 --> 00:18:08,315
How's about that? Now then.
I used to do him on Spitting Image.
365
00:18:08,316 --> 00:18:10,475
You do -
and I'm going to say it publically -
366
00:18:10,476 --> 00:18:12,395
you do a fantastic Savile.
367
00:18:12,396 --> 00:18:16,156
It is better than mine. It is
as though you were kindred spirits.
368
00:18:17,675 --> 00:18:20,194
Come on, you can do a Marlon Brando,
can't you? Some Brando.
369
00:18:20,195 --> 00:18:21,394
Come on Steve, you can do it.
370
00:18:21,395 --> 00:18:24,074
Let's have a Marlon off. Come on.
Let's hear your Marlon. Fine.
371
00:18:24,075 --> 00:18:26,234
Let's even things out now
with your Marlon.
372
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,954
Can you put bread in your cheeks?
Careful, that's crusty bread.
373
00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:31,754
He finds some of the crustier bread
a little difficult these days.
374
00:18:31,755 --> 00:18:34,194
I tend to cut it up for him.
Aww, you have to puree it for him.
375
00:18:34,194 --> 00:18:37,593
Yeah, I cut it up for him, yeah.
It'll be good. OK, oh, there you go.
376
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:38,753
Oh, now there you have it.
377
00:18:38,754 --> 00:18:40,833
AS MARLON BRANDO: It's
like going to the dentist.
378
00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:43,513
You what? What? It's like going to
the dentist. Say again?
379
00:18:43,514 --> 00:18:47,753
You wonder where your tent is.
What? Send re-enforcements.
380
00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:51,513
We're going to send re-enforcements.
We're going to advance.
381
00:18:51,513 --> 00:18:53,792
"Send three and four pence,
we're going to a dance?"
382
00:18:53,793 --> 00:18:55,113
Thank you very much.
383
00:18:56,993 --> 00:19:00,752
THEY SPEAK IN ITALIAN
384
00:19:00,753 --> 00:19:03,632
Go on. You do it
and I'm the background bit.
385
00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:06,552
AS MARLON BRANDO: The whole time, you
know,
386
00:19:06,553 --> 00:19:10,792
I just bite my tongue, you know, and
hey, I can be the Godfather.
387
00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:13,231
What is it you're playing, Steve?
Mandolin. Mandolin.
388
00:19:13,232 --> 00:19:15,871
Was it a miniature mandolin?
Are they all that size?
389
00:19:15,872 --> 00:19:18,111
Are they all that small?
They're very small, yeah.
390
00:19:18,112 --> 00:19:21,911
Have you seen a mandolin?
Like this...it's like that.
391
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:26,231
Is this Leonard Rossiter playing the
mandolin? Is that who it is? My God.
392
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:29,471
I think that's quite good. Don't
you? How long have you been playing?
393
00:19:33,791 --> 00:19:35,190
Service.
394
00:19:35,191 --> 00:19:37,230
Oh, wow. Thank you.
395
00:19:37,231 --> 00:19:39,630
You've got as a main course,
what I had as a starter.
396
00:19:39,631 --> 00:19:42,470
My little envelopes with the mussels
inside. They look like hats,
397
00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:43,909
like old priests hats.
398
00:19:43,910 --> 00:19:46,789
They do look like little hats, don't
they? They're really cute.
399
00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:49,469
Do you know how they make them
that colour? No. Squid ink. Grazia.
400
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:52,189
Really? Squid ink. Is that quidditch?
401
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:55,189
It's like quidditch,
except they use squid ink,
402
00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:56,789
instead of flying ball.
403
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:59,029
Shall we begin?
Yes, I think we shall.
404
00:19:59,029 --> 00:20:02,188
Let's let the expectant
mother set us off. OK.
405
00:20:02,189 --> 00:20:05,228
And so she plunges
the knife into the John Dory.
406
00:20:05,229 --> 00:20:08,068
"Ouch", says the fish and we're away.
Oh, don't!
407
00:20:08,069 --> 00:20:11,988
What is that? Mmm, fantastic.
408
00:20:11,989 --> 00:20:15,228
Mary Shelley, I think, was the most
interesting of all of them. I agree.
409
00:20:15,228 --> 00:20:17,227
I absolutely loved Frankenstein.
410
00:20:17,228 --> 00:20:19,587
She was more successful than her
husband. Yes, she was.
411
00:20:19,588 --> 00:20:20,907
She was way more successful.
412
00:20:20,908 --> 00:20:24,507
Probably why Shelley had
so many affairs with so many women.
413
00:20:24,508 --> 00:20:27,987
Probably just jealous of her. And he
slept with her step sister Claire.
414
00:20:27,988 --> 00:20:30,787
Yes, well, talking about
Frankenstein, of course,
415
00:20:30,788 --> 00:20:32,907
brings to mind my dear friend
Sir Kenneth Branagh
416
00:20:32,907 --> 00:20:36,666
and his production of Frankenstein
with De Niro.
417
00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:39,666
AS ROBERT DE NIRO: I got a, I got a,
I got a bolt in my neck.
418
00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:43,906
I've got to get a bolt. Got to get
the bolt out of my neck.
419
00:20:43,907 --> 00:20:45,946
Got to get this bolt out of my neck.
420
00:20:45,947 --> 00:20:48,427
He's got a big bolt in his neck.
421
00:20:50,746 --> 00:20:54,105
Bloody hell. That's...
Look at you bursting.
422
00:20:54,106 --> 00:20:56,905
AS ROBERT DE NIRO: Robert here's
trying to divert you from the fact
423
00:20:56,906 --> 00:20:58,265
that he can't do Robert De Niro.
424
00:20:58,266 --> 00:21:00,865
He doesn't know how to do it, speak
through the nose like that.
425
00:21:00,866 --> 00:21:03,465
You got to get that sound,
talking through his nose like that.
426
00:21:03,466 --> 00:21:05,905
And the whole facial gesture thing,
that's all part of it.
427
00:21:05,905 --> 00:21:08,544
Yeah, that's a bit more familiar.
Talk like that, you know.
428
00:21:08,545 --> 00:21:11,144
That's the way he talks. Hey, Frank,
what you got in your neck?
429
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:12,544
You got something in your neck.
430
00:21:12,545 --> 00:21:15,104
What's that sticking out of
your neck? I got some bolts in my
431
00:21:15,105 --> 00:21:17,904
goddamn fucking neck. You shut the
fuck up or I'll rip your head off,
432
00:21:17,905 --> 00:21:19,184
shit down your fucking neck,
433
00:21:19,185 --> 00:21:21,104
you stupid bitch sucking mother
fucking...
434
00:21:21,105 --> 00:21:22,824
But that's how... He speaks like
that.
435
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,263
It was like watching the video.
436
00:21:24,264 --> 00:21:26,623
I don't remember that from
Frankenstein. No, I don't.
437
00:21:26,624 --> 00:21:30,104
Was that on the extras? Do you have
to buy the box set to see that?
438
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:35,663
OK.
439
00:21:35,664 --> 00:21:38,103
Mary and Shelley together,
they had five kids.
440
00:21:38,104 --> 00:21:41,063
Four of them were lost before he
drowned though.
441
00:21:41,063 --> 00:21:45,022
That's why they left Rome,
was because William had malaria.
442
00:21:45,023 --> 00:21:47,982
Yeah, and had died. And yeah,
so she was heartbroken.
443
00:21:47,983 --> 00:21:49,502
Well, she was depressed.
444
00:21:49,503 --> 00:21:52,662
He had two kids with his first wife,
who, once she died,
445
00:21:52,663 --> 00:21:54,342
he was never allowed to see.
446
00:21:54,343 --> 00:21:57,382
In fairness, she committed suicide,
because he abandoned her
447
00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:59,501
when she was pregnant with
the second one.
448
00:21:59,502 --> 00:22:01,461
Well, yes, some say that,
because it is a fact.
449
00:22:01,462 --> 00:22:03,741
But none the less, it's still any
way you look at it,
450
00:22:03,742 --> 00:22:06,821
it's a tragic bloody story, isn't it?
Yes, it's awful. That's the point.
451
00:22:06,822 --> 00:22:10,261
There's been a lot of death on this
trip. Yeah, well, sounds like fun.
452
00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:11,901
I'm glad to know it must have
been...
453
00:22:11,902 --> 00:22:14,541
I don't just mean when Rob's trying
to do his routine, you know.
454
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:18,660
It's mostly that, but not all that,
you know. No. No, no. I don't know.
455
00:22:18,661 --> 00:22:22,381
It's just, it must have been
horrific having kids in those days.
456
00:22:25,701 --> 00:22:27,941
Grazia senor. So, photos.
457
00:22:29,221 --> 00:22:33,140
I thought we could go to...
There's this foreigner's cemetery,
458
00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:35,179
where Keats and Shelley are buried.
459
00:22:35,180 --> 00:22:39,099
Oh, yeah. And it's very nice.
So I just thought we could go there.
460
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:43,499
You could put me
next to Shelley's grave if you want.
461
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,819
I'm not being photographed next to
Keats. No way. Why not? Why not?
462
00:22:46,820 --> 00:22:48,819
He's a bed wetter.
463
00:22:48,819 --> 00:22:52,178
Grazia.
464
00:22:52,179 --> 00:22:54,458
IRISH ACCENT: Well, we've come to
that time again,
465
00:22:54,459 --> 00:22:57,818
it's become something of a tradition
on this excursion around Italy,
466
00:22:57,819 --> 00:23:00,978
where we ask you to play guess the
bill. And as ever,
467
00:23:00,979 --> 00:23:04,298
our contestant tonight is from
Pedantry in the north of England.
468
00:23:04,298 --> 00:23:05,457
His name is Steve Coogan.
469
00:23:05,458 --> 00:23:09,337
Steven, here we go and remember, I
will have to take your first answer.
470
00:23:09,338 --> 00:23:13,977
Is the amount of the bill,
A, six euro?
471
00:23:13,978 --> 00:23:16,857
B, nine euro?
472
00:23:16,858 --> 00:23:19,657
That's B, nine euro.
473
00:23:19,658 --> 00:23:24,697
or Steven, is it C, 597 euro?
474
00:23:24,697 --> 00:23:28,776
And Steven, I will have to take the
first answer, so I will.
475
00:23:28,777 --> 00:23:32,536
597. You've got it Steven.
You've got through. You've won again.
476
00:23:32,537 --> 00:23:35,616
Congratulations to Steven, to all
his family. They're all coming down.
477
00:23:35,617 --> 00:23:38,536
We'll see you at the same time next
week for more of the same.
478
00:23:38,536 --> 00:23:41,695
Thanks for watching. Good night.
I don't like to win like that.
479
00:23:41,696 --> 00:23:44,895
I like it to be hard. Well...
I like to risk failure.
480
00:23:44,896 --> 00:23:46,975
Yeah, I know,
but I don't want to see you lose.
481
00:23:46,976 --> 00:23:49,615
I don't want to pick up the pieces
when you guess the bill wrong.
482
00:23:49,616 --> 00:23:52,775
No, I like to risk failure,
but I never fail.
483
00:23:52,776 --> 00:23:55,855
That's... We haven't got time to
discuss that now, Steven, have we?
484
00:23:55,855 --> 00:23:57,255
That's the crux.
485
00:24:02,095 --> 00:24:05,414
AS ANTHONY HOPKINS: "Go thou to Rome.
At once, paradise,
486
00:24:05,415 --> 00:24:08,655
"the grave, the city and the
wilderness.
487
00:24:09,575 --> 00:24:13,614
"And where its wrecks
like shattered mountains rise,
488
00:24:13,614 --> 00:24:16,213
"to flowered weeds and
fragrant copses dressed the bones..."
489
00:24:16,214 --> 00:24:17,853
Why can't you do it in
your own voice?
490
00:24:17,854 --> 00:24:20,853
Because I think Sir Anthony's voice
is the perfect one for the occasion.
491
00:24:20,854 --> 00:24:23,813
"..Dress the bones of desolation's
nakedness. Pass..."
492
00:24:23,814 --> 00:24:26,533
Do you know what it means?
No, but I like the sound.
493
00:24:26,534 --> 00:24:29,693
You can tell. "..Pass until the
spirit of the spot
494
00:24:29,693 --> 00:24:35,212
"guides thy footsteps to slope of
green access, where,
495
00:24:35,213 --> 00:24:38,652
"like an infant's smile over the
dead,
496
00:24:38,653 --> 00:24:42,133
"a light of laughing
flowers along the grass is spread."
497
00:24:45,292 --> 00:24:46,652
There's Shelley.
498
00:24:47,772 --> 00:24:49,371
Wow.
499
00:24:49,372 --> 00:24:52,731
"Nothing of him that doth fade,
but doth suffer a sea change,
500
00:24:52,732 --> 00:24:55,371
"into something rich and strange."
501
00:24:55,372 --> 00:25:00,212
Defying the physical, isn't it?
Transcendent. Yeah. It's Trelawny.
502
00:25:01,572 --> 00:25:03,891
And his poetry
lives on in a way that...
503
00:25:03,891 --> 00:25:06,890
"These are two friends whose lives
were undivided."
504
00:25:06,891 --> 00:25:09,410
Trelawny died aged 88.
505
00:25:09,411 --> 00:25:11,290
Shelley was what, 26?
506
00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:15,490
So 62 years they were divided
and he bought this plot,
507
00:25:15,491 --> 00:25:18,810
because he maintained the grave
and he bought the boat that sank,
508
00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:21,449
that killed Shelley. So it's a bit
rich him burying himself
509
00:25:21,450 --> 00:25:23,849
next to him. He spent his whole life
dining out on the fact
510
00:25:23,850 --> 00:25:25,649
that he knew Byron and Shelley and
511
00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:27,410
claimed to know Keats, which he
didn't.
512
00:25:28,810 --> 00:25:31,569
Steve, look at the book. Good.
513
00:25:31,570 --> 00:25:33,890
OK, now I'm looking away.
I'm thinking. Uhhuh.
514
00:25:34,810 --> 00:25:36,170
The light here is great.
515
00:25:38,089 --> 00:25:40,248
My favourite film is Roman Holiday.
516
00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:43,168
Oh, yes. Do you remember,
Gregory Peck? Of course.
517
00:25:43,169 --> 00:25:48,008
He had his flat in number 51 Via
Margutta. Yes. This is Via Margutta.
518
00:25:48,009 --> 00:25:50,008
Seriously? Yeah. This is it. Wow.
519
00:25:50,009 --> 00:25:52,528
And do you remember when
he took her upstairs?
520
00:25:52,528 --> 00:25:55,007
He said... No, she said when she got
up there - because it was
521
00:25:55,008 --> 00:25:57,647
so tiny - she was like,
"Is this the elevator?"
522
00:25:57,648 --> 00:26:01,647
The elevator, yeah. Yeah. I love
Audrey Hepburn. And Ingrid Bergman.
523
00:26:01,648 --> 00:26:05,567
Brilliant actors. (Keats, Shelley).
La Dolce Vita. Si.
524
00:26:05,568 --> 00:26:08,287
Well, actually, most people think
that Dolce Vita's about the
525
00:26:08,288 --> 00:26:10,927
glamour of Rome, but it's about the
opposite. Yeah.
526
00:26:10,927 --> 00:26:13,846
It's about the emptiness of that
life. The superficiality. Yeah.
527
00:26:13,847 --> 00:26:16,206
Vacuous people.
528
00:26:16,207 --> 00:26:19,166
The term paparazzi
comes from the film Dolce Vita.
529
00:26:19,167 --> 00:26:20,646
That's where it came from?
530
00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:23,766
Of course, in Roman Holiday, Gregory
Peck plays the journalist
531
00:26:23,767 --> 00:26:26,806
and his photographer friend is
played by Eddie Albert.
532
00:26:26,806 --> 00:26:29,165
Yes, with his Zippo lighter, he had
his Zippo.
533
00:26:29,166 --> 00:26:32,725
Which is where the term
Eddie Alberto comes from.
534
00:26:32,726 --> 00:26:36,766
PHONE RINGS
535
00:26:42,886 --> 00:26:46,045
Hello?
Rob, it's Lucy.
536
00:26:46,045 --> 00:26:48,804
So tell me about, are you still
seeing that guy? What's his name?
537
00:26:48,805 --> 00:26:52,124
Roberto. Roberto.
Roberto Brydono.
538
00:26:52,125 --> 00:26:54,124
I'm sorry. Horrible thought. Go on.
539
00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:57,924
Hello. Can you hear me?
Yeah. How are you?
540
00:26:57,925 --> 00:27:00,085
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
541
00:27:01,204 --> 00:27:06,484
I've been missing you. Oh, well, I
missed you too.
542
00:27:07,524 --> 00:27:09,084
Really? Yeah.
543
00:27:10,444 --> 00:27:13,923
I mean, I've been
missing Hugh Grant as well.
544
00:27:13,924 --> 00:27:16,923
Well, yes, of course.
I mean it's a terrible loss.
545
00:27:16,923 --> 00:27:18,282
I think we'll all miss him.
546
00:27:18,283 --> 00:27:20,362
AS HUGH GRANT: I'm sure that
were he here now,
547
00:27:20,363 --> 00:27:24,802
he would apologise
profusely for his absence
548
00:27:24,803 --> 00:27:30,282
and I daresay he would delight
at the prospect of dropping anchor
549
00:27:30,283 --> 00:27:32,522
once again,
550
00:27:32,523 --> 00:27:35,002
in, uhm,...in Lucy Cove,
551
00:27:35,002 --> 00:27:40,041
if that's
not too inopportune, sort of, yeah.
552
00:27:40,042 --> 00:27:42,761
IN NORMAL VOICE: Oh, you laughed,
thank God.
553
00:27:42,762 --> 00:27:47,001
It would be lovely to see
you again, if you wanted.
554
00:27:47,002 --> 00:27:49,281
Yes, it would, wouldn't it? Yes.
555
00:27:49,282 --> 00:27:51,441
How can we do that?
556
00:27:51,441 --> 00:27:54,520
Well, I don't know.
557
00:27:54,521 --> 00:27:57,040
Where are you? Rome.
558
00:27:57,041 --> 00:27:58,720
Ah, I see.
559
00:27:58,721 --> 00:28:01,720
Well, shall I call you again? Yeah.
560
00:28:01,721 --> 00:28:05,000
Would you mind? Is that a good idea?
Absolutely, yes. That would be good.
561
00:28:05,001 --> 00:28:07,880
I'd accept the call. Definitely.
562
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,839
It's nice to see you.
It was nice to see you too.
563
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:11,799
Yeah, yeah, you look fantastic.
Thank you.
564
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,319
I think your hair...
565
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:15,999
Good, well, I'll call you soon then.
566
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,080
All right, bye, Lucy. Bye. Bye.
567
00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:22,680
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