Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,444 --> 00:00:09,783
Hello?
'Steve, it's Rob.'
2
00:00:09,784 --> 00:00:10,903
Oh, hey, hey...
3
00:00:10,904 --> 00:00:12,423
'How's the show going?'
4
00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:15,023
Just finished.
Just started the hiatus.
5
00:00:15,024 --> 00:00:16,663
'Yeah, I know,
I spoke to your agent.
6
00:00:16,664 --> 00:00:19,303
'Listen, the Observer wants us
to do more restaurant reviews -
7
00:00:19,304 --> 00:00:20,543
'six lunches.' Really?
8
00:00:20,544 --> 00:00:22,983
'But this time in Italy -
9
00:00:22,984 --> 00:00:25,303
'la bella Italia, yeah?
10
00:00:25,304 --> 00:00:27,143
'What do you think?' Well, erm...
11
00:00:27,144 --> 00:00:29,143
And they'll fly you to Europe.
First class?
12
00:00:29,144 --> 00:00:31,784
'No, they're offering business.'
13
00:00:35,824 --> 00:00:38,783
Ciao, bellissima. Hey, how are you?
14
00:00:38,784 --> 00:00:41,063
'I'm OK, sort of.
Chloe's still awake.'
15
00:00:41,063 --> 00:00:42,262
What?
16
00:00:42,263 --> 00:00:44,142
'I can't get her to go to sleep.'
17
00:00:44,143 --> 00:00:45,902
Hello. 'Hey, Dad.'
18
00:00:45,903 --> 00:00:50,222
Hey, so... Ibiza, party central.
19
00:00:50,223 --> 00:00:53,622
Where are all the girls
in bikinis with whistles
20
00:00:53,623 --> 00:00:56,662
round their necks,
jumping up and down?
21
00:00:56,663 --> 00:00:58,102
'Yeah, all of them.'
22
00:00:58,531 --> 00:01:01,370
Does she miss her papa? Stick her
on, I'll say good night to her.
23
00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:02,930
'No, I don't think that will help.
24
00:01:02,931 --> 00:01:05,370
'I think it'll only make
it worse, Rob.' All right.
25
00:01:05,371 --> 00:01:08,290
'She's crying again. I'm sorry,
I've got to go, darling.'
26
00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:10,650
'It would probably be more fun
if there were, you know,
27
00:01:10,651 --> 00:01:13,090
'more people my age there,
if my friends were here.
28
00:01:13,091 --> 00:01:15,450
'But, you know, they're all
off in London having fun.
29
00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:18,090
'I'm stuck here by myself. I'm 16.
30
00:01:18,091 --> 00:01:20,970
'Mum keeps treating
me like I'm a child.
31
00:01:20,971 --> 00:01:23,450
'I'm old enough to join the army
32
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,570
'and according to her I'm not
old enough
33
00:01:25,571 --> 00:01:27,170
'to just be at home by myself.'
34
00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:28,370
Yeah, well, I think
35
00:01:28,371 --> 00:01:31,370
they should raise the age level
for entry to the army, actually.
36
00:01:31,371 --> 00:01:34,171
All right then, so long, love.
Bye-bye. 'Bye.' Bye.
37
00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:39,611
Ciao, bellissima.
38
00:01:40,731 --> 00:01:42,251
Ciao, bellissima.
39
00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:44,770
Que bella ragazza.
40
00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:48,409
Que bella ragazza.
41
00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:52,289
Oh - huh! - ciao, bellissimo.
42
00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:55,729
Que bella - yeah! - ragazza!
43
00:01:55,730 --> 00:01:58,689
AS TOM JONES: Huh, think I'd
better dance now.
44
00:01:58,690 --> 00:02:04,449
Que bella - what a beautiful -
huh, ragazza - girl.
45
00:02:04,450 --> 00:02:08,009
Huh, I think you've got a
wonderful tone to your voice
46
00:02:08,010 --> 00:02:11,730
and I want you on my team, oh.
47
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:15,849
Did you sleep well?
48
00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:17,649
Yeah, like a baby.
49
00:02:17,650 --> 00:02:20,209
I didn't. Terrible dreams.
50
00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:23,769
I think it was the sound of
the waves hitting the rocks.
51
00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:25,209
Awful.
52
00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:26,729
What did you dream about?
53
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:31,450
I dreamt I was in a huge toilet
bowl, being constantly flushed.
54
00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:35,530
Yeah, I wouldn't read
too much into that.
55
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:40,849
I mustered once on a boat,
hit a rock, yeah. Really?
56
00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:42,369
I had to muster. Seriously, we had
57
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,649
to go up onto the deck
with our lifejackets on.
58
00:02:44,650 --> 00:02:47,209
You went to, like, a muster
station with your lifejacket on?
59
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:50,128
Yes. Wow! Yes and the worst
thing about it was,
60
00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:52,448
all the crew members were
running down corridors...
61
00:02:52,449 --> 00:02:53,808
Oh, my God! Which is terrifying,
62
00:02:53,809 --> 00:02:55,968
because you don't
ever want to see that.
63
00:02:55,969 --> 00:02:58,168
No, it's like when you
see an air stewardess crying.
64
00:02:58,169 --> 00:03:00,488
Yes... have you seen an
air stewardess crying?
65
00:03:00,489 --> 00:03:04,249
Yeah. Nothing to do with
the flight, though, was it? No, nothing to do with the flight.
66
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:09,368
OK. OK... right.
67
00:03:09,369 --> 00:03:11,368
Permission to come aboard?
68
00:03:11,369 --> 00:03:13,129
Sorry, I don't need any help...
69
00:03:15,249 --> 00:03:16,889
OK. That's fine.
70
00:03:19,209 --> 00:03:21,008
Great. OK?
71
00:03:21,009 --> 00:03:22,328
Yeah, fine, thank you.
72
00:03:22,329 --> 00:03:23,769
If you just step... yeah.
73
00:03:25,089 --> 00:03:26,809
OK. Bloody hell. Palaver!
74
00:03:28,289 --> 00:03:31,408
Is this the actual boat?
75
00:03:31,409 --> 00:03:34,728
Cos... I was expecting
something a big bigger.
76
00:03:34,729 --> 00:03:38,048
Little smaller than
I was expecting as well - I'll be very honest with you.
77
00:03:38,049 --> 00:03:41,288
Look at that! Wow!
78
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,128
This is our boat, Patience.
79
00:03:43,129 --> 00:03:44,808
Patience is a virtue.
80
00:03:44,809 --> 00:03:45,849
That is beautiful!
81
00:04:15,368 --> 00:04:17,767
I can't really see
the waves so I have to...
82
00:04:17,768 --> 00:04:19,567
You just have to work like a Jedi.
83
00:04:19,568 --> 00:04:21,928
Trust your feeling, all right?
Just trust it.
84
00:04:23,288 --> 00:04:28,007
Why don't you close your eyes,
Steve, and merely feel the waves?
85
00:04:28,008 --> 00:04:30,927
A true Jedi doesn't need to see
the waves.
86
00:04:30,928 --> 00:04:32,727
Is that what the Jedis do?
87
00:04:32,728 --> 00:04:35,647
Yes. Because I can fight with a
light stick. They do the lightsaber.
88
00:04:35,648 --> 00:04:37,847
That has got to be a violation
of health and safety!
89
00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:41,687
Hi. Oh, hello. Thank you.
This is lovely.
90
00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:44,407
It's a lovely boat,
a lovely way to travel.
91
00:04:44,408 --> 00:04:48,887
Yeah, so, the first stop is San
Fruttuoso, where you'll have lunch.
92
00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:51,287
"My soul is an enchanted boat
93
00:04:51,288 --> 00:04:53,887
"Which like a sleeping
swan doth float
94
00:04:53,887 --> 00:04:56,526
"Upon the silver waves
of thy sweet singing
95
00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:58,846
"Thine doth like an angel sit
96
00:04:58,847 --> 00:05:01,526
"Beside the helm conducting it
97
00:05:01,527 --> 00:05:04,606
"While all the trees with
melody are ringing."
98
00:05:04,607 --> 00:05:07,286
That's Shelley, read by Burton.
99
00:05:07,287 --> 00:05:11,006
Rob can't do poems in his own voice
because he lacks conviction.
100
00:05:11,007 --> 00:05:13,526
AS ALAN BENNETT: "My soul is an
enchanted boat
101
00:05:13,527 --> 00:05:16,446
"Which like a sleeping swan
doth float
102
00:05:16,447 --> 00:05:19,887
"Upon the silver waves
of thy sweet singing."
103
00:05:35,087 --> 00:05:36,926
Are you going to have some wine?
104
00:05:36,927 --> 00:05:40,246
No, thank you. Are you sure?
No, grazie. A little bit?
105
00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:42,047
No.
106
00:05:57,326 --> 00:05:59,205
Grazie mille. Oh, oh...
107
00:05:59,206 --> 00:06:00,725
Look at this? Lovely.
108
00:06:00,726 --> 00:06:02,285
50,000 Leagues Under The Sea.
109
00:06:02,286 --> 00:06:05,445
It is a bit... It's very Jules Verne,
the starter, I have to say, yeah.
110
00:06:05,446 --> 00:06:06,885
We're squids in.
111
00:06:06,886 --> 00:06:08,365
Squids in, six quid.
112
00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:10,166
Oh, I've got the squids.
113
00:06:12,886 --> 00:06:14,445
Very nice, isn't she, Lucy?
114
00:06:14,446 --> 00:06:15,885
Mmm.
115
00:06:15,886 --> 00:06:17,885
Not the squid - Lucy.
116
00:06:17,886 --> 00:06:19,245
Mmm... mmm.
117
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:22,205
Oh, oh... look at that.
118
00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:26,246
Don't... Don't scare him.
Oh, you had to scare him.
119
00:06:27,406 --> 00:06:29,925
"To crush a butterfly upon a wheel."
120
00:06:29,926 --> 00:06:31,725
"A dream we all share."
121
00:06:31,726 --> 00:06:33,646
Alexander Pope. Of course.
122
00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:38,125
It's not very authentic,
though, is it?
123
00:06:38,126 --> 00:06:40,005
Hanging out with some Sloane ranger.
124
00:06:40,006 --> 00:06:41,725
If you look at Shelley and Byron,
125
00:06:41,726 --> 00:06:44,445
they were always staying with
English people, all the expats.
126
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,285
That's how it was, you see.
127
00:06:46,286 --> 00:06:50,125
You know, when you're in LA,
I bet you are down at Soho House
128
00:06:50,126 --> 00:06:53,005
watching football on
the telly with Robbie Williams.
129
00:06:53,006 --> 00:06:54,805
A - I don't like football.
130
00:06:54,806 --> 00:06:56,806
'Ey! 'Ey!
BOTH: I don't like football.
131
00:06:57,966 --> 00:07:01,485
B... Yeah. Be what? Be who you
are? Be true to yourself?
132
00:07:01,485 --> 00:07:04,764
A - I don't like football.
B - true to yourself.
133
00:07:04,765 --> 00:07:08,404
See what I did there. Yeah,
very good, you're a wordsmith.
134
00:07:08,405 --> 00:07:11,444
D - 'pend on me to come up
with more of these. E...
135
00:07:11,445 --> 00:07:13,164
Why'd you miss C?
136
00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,804
I didn't, I said "C what I did
there?" You're not listening.
137
00:07:15,805 --> 00:07:17,284
Oh, that is good, yeah.
138
00:07:17,285 --> 00:07:18,524
Dear, dear me.
139
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:22,004
I can see why they want you for
Radio 4 panel shows. Thank you. You're a demon.
140
00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:23,964
No, I don't hang out
with Robbie Williams.
141
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:26,564
When I am in LA, I do
what Byron actually did
142
00:07:26,565 --> 00:07:29,244
when he was travelling, which
was hang out with local people.
143
00:07:29,245 --> 00:07:33,004
Matt Stone, Trey Parker,
Matthew Perry, Owen Wilson...
144
00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:36,364
You hang out with Owen Wilson or you
occasionally work with Owen Wilson?
145
00:07:36,365 --> 00:07:38,604
I know you've been
a miniature soldier with him,
146
00:07:38,605 --> 00:07:41,084
but do you actually
hang out with him?
147
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,804
We run together on the beach.
148
00:07:42,805 --> 00:07:44,724
Is he aware that you're running?
149
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:47,444
Is he running away from you? I
mean, there's a distinction here.
150
00:07:47,445 --> 00:07:50,084
I could say I've been running
on the beach with Robert De Niro.
151
00:07:50,085 --> 00:07:51,804
When, in fact, I'm furiously chasing
152
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,644
after him and he's running for his
life... What are you doing there?
153
00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:57,684
Just having a little wine.
You know, when in Rome...
154
00:07:57,685 --> 00:08:00,924
Wow! In Italy. I'm your enabler.
155
00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:02,125
Yeah.
156
00:08:03,604 --> 00:08:06,163
I'd love to talk to
some of these locals.
157
00:08:06,164 --> 00:08:09,683
Byron said, "I love
the language, that bastard Latin
158
00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:12,723
"That melts like kisses
from a female mouth
159
00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:15,363
"It sounds as if it should be
writ on satin
160
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:19,003
"With syllables that
breathe of the sweet South."
161
00:08:19,004 --> 00:08:20,883
She's nice, though, Lucy.
162
00:08:20,884 --> 00:08:23,363
She's all right. She's just
a posh girl working on a boat.
163
00:08:23,364 --> 00:08:26,283
She's basically the nautical
equivalent of a chalet girl.
164
00:08:26,284 --> 00:08:29,243
Go round Chelsea, chuck a stick -
you'll hit ten of them.
165
00:08:29,244 --> 00:08:31,443
You've been warned about that,
haven't you?
166
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:34,003
"Steve Coogan has been arrested for
167
00:08:34,004 --> 00:08:38,003
"chucking sticks at
Sloane women in Chelsea."
168
00:08:38,004 --> 00:08:40,363
We'd know what sort of
a story that was, right?
169
00:08:40,364 --> 00:08:42,883
Yeah. Purely from the intonation.
170
00:08:42,884 --> 00:08:46,763
If they say, "The actor and
comedian Steve Coogan..."
171
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:48,883
it's going to be good news. Yeah.
172
00:08:48,884 --> 00:08:51,603
OK? Then there's if you've died.
173
00:08:51,604 --> 00:08:56,283
Yeah. "The actor and comedian
Steve Coogan..."
174
00:08:56,284 --> 00:08:59,084
The one you don't
want is this... ready?
175
00:09:00,284 --> 00:09:03,243
"The actor and comedian
Steve Coogan..."
176
00:09:03,244 --> 00:09:06,244
Oh, no! God, what has
he done now? Oh, my God!
177
00:09:08,963 --> 00:09:12,482
See that Roman Polanski film with
Pierce Brosnan playing the prime minister,
178
00:09:12,483 --> 00:09:13,762
Tony Blair, sort of, war crimes?
179
00:09:13,763 --> 00:09:16,042
It was, sort of, an Iraq war
thing, you know?
180
00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:18,802
"The name's Bond, James Bond,
007 licensed to kill."
181
00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,802
But he plays Tony Blair in this?
182
00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:22,082
"My name's Blair, Tony Blair."
183
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,522
Tony Blair.
184
00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:25,962
"Licensed to illegally
invade other countries."
185
00:09:25,963 --> 00:09:29,322
I could see Roger Moore
playing Tony Blair.
186
00:09:29,323 --> 00:09:32,642
AS ROGER MOORE: My name's Tony Blair,
but I don't like you, Hussein.
187
00:09:32,643 --> 00:09:34,602
Now you're telling me this.
188
00:09:34,603 --> 00:09:37,642
You're telling me destruction
could be launched in 45 minutes?
189
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,042
I don't like you one bit.
190
00:09:39,043 --> 00:09:41,722
I don't like the way you stand
on the balcony wearing a beret.
191
00:09:41,723 --> 00:09:44,802
AS SADDAM HUSSEIN: I wear the beret
for one reason alone. Why?
192
00:09:44,803 --> 00:09:47,282
I like to impersonate Frank Spencer.
193
00:09:47,283 --> 00:09:50,202
You can impersonate Frank Spencer
all you like
194
00:09:50,203 --> 00:09:51,562
but it doesn't change the fact
195
00:09:51,563 --> 00:09:54,602
that I think you're harbouring
weapons of mass destruction.
196
00:09:54,603 --> 00:09:56,162
Wait till you hear this.
197
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:59,002
IN SAME VOICE: Oh, Betty, the cat
has done whoopsie on the carpet.
198
00:09:59,003 --> 00:10:01,642
That's a terrible impersonation
of Frank Spencer, Hussein.
199
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,922
It's the best I can do.
I have the beret.
200
00:10:03,923 --> 00:10:06,002
That must count
for something, surely?
201
00:10:06,003 --> 00:10:08,482
You think I can't do Frank Spencer?
Well, listen to this.
202
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:12,362
AS FRANK SPENCER: Put is over there,
I'll mend it in the morning. What about that then, Mr Blair?
203
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,721
I bet you didn't think I could do
that.
204
00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:17,801
AS ROGER MOORE: I'll be very honest
with you, Saddam, I wasn't expecting
205
00:10:17,802 --> 00:10:19,761
such a professional level
of impersonation.
206
00:10:19,762 --> 00:10:22,481
AS SADDAM HUSSEIN: No, you weren't.
You weren't expecting it.
207
00:10:22,482 --> 00:10:27,561
Have you considered touring northern
clubs in the '70s? I tried to tour the northern clubs in the 1970s.
208
00:10:27,562 --> 00:10:29,961
What happened? They said...
209
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:33,602
AS FRANK SPENCER: "No, we've
already gone with someone who does Frank Spencer."
210
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,602
Grazie. Grazie.
211
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,601
Grazie mille. Que bel tempo oggi.
212
00:10:52,602 --> 00:10:54,321
Molto bello! Si.
213
00:10:54,322 --> 00:10:56,121
"Oggi" means "today".
214
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,881
Thank goodness for that -
I thought you were a bit forward!
215
00:10:58,882 --> 00:11:01,001
You want to take her
for dinner first, mate.
216
00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:04,161
Would you like some more wine?
I would. Lovely.
217
00:11:04,162 --> 00:11:06,521
AS ALAN BENNETT: "Dear diary,
offered Steve more wine.
218
00:11:06,522 --> 00:11:08,881
"He was quite agreeable
to the proposal,
219
00:11:08,882 --> 00:11:10,322
"so I poured it confidently."
220
00:11:17,921 --> 00:11:19,280
Mmm!
221
00:11:19,281 --> 00:11:21,800
AMERICAN ACCENT: Oh, man! This looks
great. I adore pasta.
222
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:26,320
It's "pah-sta". You say "pah-sta".
Pah-sta, that's right, yeah. I love pah-sta.
223
00:11:26,321 --> 00:11:28,680
Steve, you got to have
some of the pah-sta.
224
00:11:28,681 --> 00:11:30,360
Mmm.
225
00:11:30,361 --> 00:11:34,840
OWN ACCENT: Are you happy with
Joe and Mamie being on holiday with another man in your role?
226
00:11:34,841 --> 00:11:36,720
He's not in my role.
227
00:11:36,721 --> 00:11:38,080
He is, technically.
228
00:11:38,081 --> 00:11:39,640
They know I'm the father.
229
00:11:39,641 --> 00:11:41,520
He's... David is just this guy.
230
00:11:41,521 --> 00:11:42,880
David - is that his name?
231
00:11:42,881 --> 00:11:46,320
32, a yoga instructor. How old? 32.
232
00:11:46,321 --> 00:11:48,840
He's 32, and he's what,
a yoga instructor? Yeah.
233
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:50,120
Are you happy with that?
234
00:11:50,121 --> 00:11:52,600
He's on holiday with them now.
I'm paying for the holiday.
235
00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:54,800
He doesn't have much money.
I couldn't do it.
236
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,160
If Sally and I ever split up,
which we will not,
237
00:11:57,161 --> 00:12:00,800
but if we did, that would be
the thing that would really,
238
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:03,800
you know, break me up -
is the thought of another man
239
00:12:03,801 --> 00:12:08,000
being in that role cos Chloe's
three. So, she'd have no memory
240
00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:10,280
of me as the dad in the house
241
00:12:10,281 --> 00:12:12,240
and she'd automatically think of him
as Dad.
242
00:12:12,241 --> 00:12:14,481
That's fine. How's that fine?
That's not fine!
243
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,799
Wow! Grazie.
244
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,559
WAITRESS SPEAKS ITALIAN
Grazie mille.
245
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:27,159
Beautiful here, isn't it, eh?
La dolce vita.
246
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,439
Don't you think we're lucky?
247
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,319
In the old days,
only the aristocracy could travel.
248
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,879
Nowadays everyone...
everybody can afford a holiday.
249
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,879
Even if you're on benefits,
you can go abroad.
250
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,359
It's part of your human rights.
251
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,319
Well, it should be part
of your human rights!
252
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,360
I think it should be on the NHS,
but not in the summer.
253
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,159
You know, it should be in the winter.
When it's cheaper.
254
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:52,079
When people get vitamin D deficiency,
because of lack of sunlight. True.
255
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,159
Which then leads to
people getting depression,
256
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,919
which means they then have to
be prescribed antidepressants,
257
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,599
sold at exorbitant rates to the NHS,
paid for by taxpayers,
258
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,399
but sold at exorbitant rates by
multi-national drug companies.
259
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,999
And he's off on his charger!
260
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,319
This time taking on
the pharmaceutical companies.
261
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,879
Not content with bringing
the Murdoch empire to its knees,
262
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,479
he now turns his steely gaze
to Nurofen.
263
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,999
It's not Nurofen. I'm talking
about temazepam and diazepam.
264
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,519
You know, drug companies aren't
interested in curing cancer.
265
00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:25,998
They want to prescribe long-term
medication for chronic illnesses
266
00:13:25,999 --> 00:13:28,718
because that's what lines the coffers
of the shareholders.
267
00:13:28,719 --> 00:13:30,198
It's a cartel, a conspiracy.
268
00:13:30,199 --> 00:13:33,239
They're no better than
Colombian drug lords, frankly.
269
00:13:37,879 --> 00:13:41,878
Did you ever see the film Love
and Other Drugs - Jake Gyllenhaal?
270
00:13:41,879 --> 00:13:44,918
Gil-en-hall, Jill-en-hall -
how do you pronounce that?
271
00:13:44,919 --> 00:13:47,238
I know Jake and Maggie.
272
00:13:47,239 --> 00:13:48,878
And how do you pronounce it?
273
00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:50,438
I don't know.
274
00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:53,359
It was about the big pharma
conspiracy over Viagra.
275
00:13:56,159 --> 00:13:57,438
Have you ever used that?
276
00:13:57,439 --> 00:14:00,158
Not prescribed to me, you know,
I've used it recreationally.
277
00:14:00,159 --> 00:14:02,318
Recreationally is the
only way you would use it.
278
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:03,958
Why would you use it professionally,
279
00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:08,358
unless you're a porn star
or a model or an actor?
280
00:14:08,359 --> 00:14:10,958
But actors can't - that's the last
thing an actor wants to use.
281
00:14:10,959 --> 00:14:13,518
You're not allowed to get a hard on
if you're in a sex scene.
282
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:17,638
It's a major faux pas, frowned upon
by crews and actors alike.
283
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:20,038
So, erm...
284
00:14:20,039 --> 00:14:21,279
what's it like?
285
00:14:22,518 --> 00:14:24,317
Erm...
286
00:14:24,318 --> 00:14:26,197
do you want me to get you
some Viagra?
287
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,677
Oh, I'm just asking you.
288
00:14:27,678 --> 00:14:32,037
Look, I'm considering dipping my
toes in the murky waters of Viagra.
289
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,877
OK... it's not an aphrodisiac.
290
00:14:33,878 --> 00:14:35,917
You've got to desire
the woman you're with.
291
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,277
Yes... well, yes, I do.
292
00:14:37,278 --> 00:14:40,117
I have a three-year-old child
so, you know,
293
00:14:40,118 --> 00:14:44,517
it's not the sexual Olympics in our
house, so I'm just thinking of a...
294
00:14:44,518 --> 00:14:45,917
Well, it's just like a peg up.
295
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:48,317
It's like you trying to climb
over a wall and me doing that.
296
00:14:48,318 --> 00:14:49,797
You'd stand in that.
297
00:14:49,798 --> 00:14:52,997
I'd be uncomfortable if you were
there, I should make that clear.
298
00:14:52,998 --> 00:14:54,757
Yeah, I know. It's an analogy.
299
00:14:54,758 --> 00:14:57,437
Yeah, once you're over the wall,
you're on your own. Yeah.
300
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,557
But it's like... Take a...
301
00:14:59,558 --> 00:15:01,637
I wouldn't want you in the house
at all, to be honest.
302
00:15:01,638 --> 00:15:04,757
Just tell me what it's like. No, I'm
outside looking round, making sure,
303
00:15:04,758 --> 00:15:07,397
keeping the coast clear.
I've given you a peg up, you go in...
304
00:15:07,398 --> 00:15:10,397
OK, all right. Have sex with your
wife. Yeah, I'm comfortable now.
305
00:15:10,398 --> 00:15:13,717
OK, it's like a turbo charger
on a normally aspirated engine.
306
00:15:13,718 --> 00:15:17,917
WAITRESS SPEAKS ITALIAN
Si, grazie mille, grazie.
307
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:21,358
Grazie, erm, il conto,
per favore... grazie.
308
00:15:22,478 --> 00:15:24,597
That's one of the nicest sounds
in the world -
309
00:15:24,598 --> 00:15:29,277
the sound of water lapping, ideally
against pebbles and not sand.
310
00:15:29,277 --> 00:15:32,036
A lovely sound. Is there
a nicer sound than that?
311
00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:34,316
No, I don't think there is.
Birdsong?
312
00:15:34,317 --> 00:15:36,956
Birdsong... depends on the
bird. Yeah, that's true.
313
00:15:36,957 --> 00:15:39,116
HE SQUAWKS
314
00:15:39,117 --> 00:15:41,316
Yeah, that's fair, so point taken.
315
00:15:41,317 --> 00:15:46,116
IRISH ACCENT: So, welcome,
and you join us for Guess The Bill
316
00:15:46,117 --> 00:15:49,676
and our contestant this week
is returning after his triumph last week.
317
00:15:49,677 --> 00:15:52,156
It's young Stephen Coogan.
Steve, welcome. Thank you.
318
00:15:52,157 --> 00:15:54,476
I know you've had a super day
here at the studios with us.
319
00:15:54,477 --> 00:15:55,996
Just a second. Let me just stop you
320
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,196
briefly to ask you what
part of Ireland you're from.
321
00:15:58,197 --> 00:16:01,276
Well, I'm glad you asked, Stephen.
I've travelled all around Ireland,
322
00:16:01,277 --> 00:16:04,036
hence the different tones in the
voice, but it's good of you to ask.
323
00:16:04,037 --> 00:16:07,596
I like a young, inquisitive
mind. OK, I'll let it go. All right, don't speak again.
324
00:16:07,597 --> 00:16:10,676
Steve, thanks for taking an interest
in me but tonight is all about you
325
00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:13,436
and I hope you're going to win
some money and take it back to that
326
00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:15,596
family, who God knows have suffered
enough already
327
00:16:15,597 --> 00:16:17,956
putting up with you,
you little shit.
328
00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:20,676
So, here we go, and I must
take your first answer.
329
00:16:20,677 --> 00:16:22,676
Is today's bill...
330
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:25,156
A - ten euro?
331
00:16:25,157 --> 00:16:28,836
Is it B - 647 euro?
332
00:16:28,837 --> 00:16:32,316
Or is it C - 173 euro?
333
00:16:32,316 --> 00:16:34,715
And Steve, please, I must take
your first answer.
334
00:16:34,716 --> 00:16:38,755
Ladies and gentlemen in the
audience, please no helping with this young lad. C, it's C.
335
00:16:38,756 --> 00:16:40,675
C, you're saying C? Yeah.
336
00:16:40,676 --> 00:16:43,675
173 - is that your final answer,
Steve? Yeah, definitely.
337
00:16:43,676 --> 00:16:46,675
Steve, you've done it. You've won
again, well done. You'll be coming
338
00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:49,275
back next week. Give a wave to
everybody at home there, Steve.
339
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:52,075
Give a wave. The camera's over
there, you daft bugger. There it is.
340
00:16:52,076 --> 00:16:56,796
Good night, everybody. We'll be back
same time next week. Keep waving. Credits are rolling. Good night!
341
00:17:07,436 --> 00:17:09,235
Watch your head already.
342
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:10,955
William, the men are not happy.
343
00:17:10,956 --> 00:17:12,915
Oh, William, is it?
Not "captain" or "sir"?
344
00:17:12,916 --> 00:17:17,275
You can tell the men that we will
sail around the Cape of Good Hope, we will sail around the Horn.
345
00:17:17,276 --> 00:17:19,875
You turned your back on me, man.
God damn your eyes!
346
00:17:19,876 --> 00:17:22,035
God damn your eyes, man,
you turned your back on me!
347
00:17:22,036 --> 00:17:24,995
He's doing Anthony Hopkins.
Don't worry, it'll pass.
348
00:17:24,996 --> 00:17:27,795
You tell the men that we will
sail around the Cape of Good Hope
349
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,155
and sail around the Horn.
350
00:17:29,156 --> 00:17:32,195
Around the Horn. The quick way
round the Horn we shall go, sir.
351
00:17:32,196 --> 00:17:34,555
Damn your eyes! Damn your eyes!
352
00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:36,714
You turned your back on me, man!
353
00:17:36,715 --> 00:17:39,514
Don't turn your back on me!
354
00:17:39,515 --> 00:17:42,675
Around the Horn we're going.
The quicker way round the Horn we shall go.
355
00:18:01,315 --> 00:18:02,795
Hey! Hi!
356
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,674
Oh, careful.
357
00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:07,154
Not too rough for you?
358
00:18:07,155 --> 00:18:09,914
No, no, it's fine.
Are you enjoying it?
359
00:18:09,915 --> 00:18:15,154
Yeah, it's fantastic, wonderful.
Steve's having a little sleep.
360
00:18:15,155 --> 00:18:19,034
Had a drink, so at his age
he needs a nap after lunch
361
00:18:19,035 --> 00:18:20,394
or he gets confused.
362
00:18:20,395 --> 00:18:22,754
How old is he?
He doesn't like me to say.
363
00:18:22,755 --> 00:18:24,594
He doesn't like me to share that.
364
00:18:24,595 --> 00:18:26,755
Does he drink a lot? Well...
365
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:30,075
And so this is the anchor, yeah?
366
00:18:31,515 --> 00:18:35,234
Am I right? I know enough to get by.
367
00:18:35,235 --> 00:18:37,634
So, this is the anchor and then
368
00:18:37,634 --> 00:18:40,433
if you want to stop somewhere
you drop the sail - is that right?
369
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:43,073
Where are you from, then?
Wales, right?
370
00:18:43,074 --> 00:18:44,873
Wales, South Wales, Port Talbot.
371
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,513
Oh, I love the accent.
372
00:18:46,514 --> 00:18:48,833
Do you? Yeah, it's beautiful.
Seriously?
373
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,153
Yeah, it's really lyrical.
374
00:18:50,154 --> 00:18:52,553
Ah, begin at the beginning.
375
00:18:52,554 --> 00:18:54,993
You've just got to make
your mouth, like, begin.
376
00:18:54,994 --> 00:18:59,353
To begin. Yes, but you have to push
your lips out. Begin.
377
00:18:59,354 --> 00:19:01,113
SHE LAUGHS
378
00:19:01,114 --> 00:19:03,473
To begin at the beginning.
379
00:19:03,474 --> 00:19:05,273
To begin...
380
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:06,993
SHE LAUGHS
381
00:19:06,994 --> 00:19:09,033
That sounded angry, really.
382
00:19:09,034 --> 00:19:11,674
OPERA MUSIC PLAYS
383
00:19:25,114 --> 00:19:26,993
It's a lovely house.
384
00:19:26,994 --> 00:19:28,953
I mean, it's better
than Byron's, isn't it?
385
00:19:28,954 --> 00:19:32,113
You've got a lovely balcony there.
Looking out over the bay.
386
00:19:32,114 --> 00:19:35,393
See if you can get my face
and it in so it's legible.
387
00:19:35,394 --> 00:19:37,273
Don't look ironic. I'm not.
388
00:19:37,274 --> 00:19:40,154
It's not a flattering angle but
it's got all the information, so...
389
00:19:46,273 --> 00:19:48,312
Did you like it? Was it nice?
390
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:49,912
It was busier than I was expecting.
391
00:19:49,913 --> 00:19:51,592
Spoilt by tourism. Yeah.
392
00:19:51,593 --> 00:19:54,312
Yeah, when Shelley lived there
it would have been deserted.
393
00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:56,672
Yeah? Do you want to go
back to San Fruttuoso?
394
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:57,873
Yes. Yes? It was lovely there.
395
00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:02,872
That's a lovely sight.
396
00:20:02,873 --> 00:20:04,352
I'd like to show her the ropes.
397
00:20:04,353 --> 00:20:05,832
I'd like to show her my rope.
398
00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:08,752
Yeah, I'd like her to charm
the rope out of my basket.
399
00:20:08,753 --> 00:20:11,232
I'd like to see her drop her anchor
in my Bay of Poets.
400
00:20:11,233 --> 00:20:14,152
Well, she wouldn't drop her anchor,
you'd be the one with the anchor.
401
00:20:14,153 --> 00:20:15,512
No, she could drop her anchor.
402
00:20:15,513 --> 00:20:18,312
No, she doesn't, you drop your
anchor. You're absolutely right.
403
00:20:18,313 --> 00:20:20,192
I'd like to drop my anchor
in her boat.
404
00:20:20,193 --> 00:20:22,272
You're getting your metaphors
arse about tit.
405
00:20:22,273 --> 00:20:24,472
Now you drop an anchor and she...
406
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,993
ROB LAUGHS
407
00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:28,712
You nearly went over the side.
408
00:20:28,713 --> 00:20:31,672
No, I didn't. You did.
I didn't. You panicked.
409
00:20:31,673 --> 00:20:34,192
Yeah, all right I panicked, big deal.
410
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:36,472
You did, you completely panicked!
411
00:20:36,473 --> 00:20:37,912
The panic's a survival instinct.
412
00:20:37,913 --> 00:20:40,832
What would Daniel Craig have done?
He wouldn't have gone "Ohhh..."
413
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:43,192
Daniel Craig, when they
announced he was playing Bond,
414
00:20:43,192 --> 00:20:45,831
he turned up on the Thames in a
speedboat wearing a lifejacket.
415
00:20:45,832 --> 00:20:49,871
That's for insurance. Whereas Roger
Moore would have asked for one.
416
00:20:49,872 --> 00:20:53,551
AS ROGER MOORE: Cubby, I wonder if
Bond at this stage would be wearing
417
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:56,151
a buoyancy aid of some sort.
418
00:20:56,152 --> 00:20:58,111
Perhaps some wings.
419
00:20:58,112 --> 00:21:01,591
Water wings... Perhaps a rubber
ring around his midriff.
420
00:21:01,592 --> 00:21:03,232
Just belt and braces.
421
00:21:04,272 --> 00:21:06,792
And did you get my memo
about the handrail?
422
00:21:29,752 --> 00:21:31,391
Are you going to swim in, then?
423
00:21:31,392 --> 00:21:33,071
I could swim in.
424
00:21:33,072 --> 00:21:34,392
Yeah, right.
425
00:21:35,312 --> 00:21:36,832
Watch me.
426
00:21:41,392 --> 00:21:43,671
Swiss self-winding, $10,000.
427
00:21:43,672 --> 00:21:46,432
MUSIC: "Um Mitternacht"
by Gustav Mahler
428
00:21:52,471 --> 00:21:53,911
Superb!
429
00:22:00,711 --> 00:22:03,470
This is exactly how
I imagined it, you know,
430
00:22:03,471 --> 00:22:06,110
from reading about Shelley.
431
00:22:06,111 --> 00:22:10,510
Sort of very simple but very
romantic in the grand sense.
432
00:22:10,511 --> 00:22:11,751
Yes. Yeah?
433
00:22:13,311 --> 00:22:16,390
There's something quite melancholy
about this place, isn't there?
434
00:22:16,391 --> 00:22:19,230
It's like getting stranded
on a desert island.
435
00:22:19,231 --> 00:22:21,390
Yeah, only not as hot.
436
00:22:21,391 --> 00:22:23,430
The desert doesn't mean hot.
437
00:22:23,431 --> 00:22:26,430
Desert just means there's no people
there. There's going to be water.
438
00:22:26,431 --> 00:22:29,430
It just means deserted. I know
that, I know that. Don't you think
439
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:33,150
everything's melancholic once
you get to a certain age? I do.
440
00:22:33,151 --> 00:22:38,431
I think you've really got to just
try and enjoy life, you know?
441
00:22:40,871 --> 00:22:43,910
I mean, even your mouth starts
to naturally droop down.
442
00:22:43,911 --> 00:22:47,070
No, that's relaxing.
That's just muscles relaxing.
443
00:22:47,071 --> 00:22:49,990
Garrison Keeler said,
"When you're under 40,
444
00:22:49,990 --> 00:22:52,989
"seeming unhappy makes
you look interesting.
445
00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:55,909
"But once you're 40 and beyond,
you've got to do everything
446
00:22:55,910 --> 00:22:59,269
"you can to smile, otherwise you
just look like a grumpy old man."
447
00:22:59,270 --> 00:23:00,630
Morrissey.
448
00:23:01,790 --> 00:23:04,150
Byron was famously gloomy.
449
00:23:09,270 --> 00:23:11,310
Come and have a drink.
450
00:23:12,830 --> 00:23:14,630
OK.
451
00:23:19,990 --> 00:23:23,669
Yep, I've still got it.
A bit shocked, aren't you?
452
00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:26,510
Not really - I've always told
you that it was a possibility.
453
00:23:27,710 --> 00:23:31,710
You know, so you're an acquired
taste, but, you know...
454
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:37,630
What will people remember of us
in 200 years' time?
455
00:23:40,510 --> 00:23:42,069
Er...
456
00:23:42,070 --> 00:23:44,550
I don't think we'll be remembered,
to be honest with you.
457
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:46,989
No.
458
00:23:46,990 --> 00:23:50,829
I mean, if... There's a big if.
If we are...
459
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:53,269
..either of us are remembered,
460
00:23:53,269 --> 00:23:55,908
I would say that it would
probably be me.
461
00:23:55,909 --> 00:23:58,148
What would they most remember?
462
00:23:58,149 --> 00:24:00,349
What would be celebrated
about you, do you think?
463
00:24:01,909 --> 00:24:02,989
Six BAFTAs.
464
00:24:04,869 --> 00:24:06,668
You've got five BAFTAs.
465
00:24:06,669 --> 00:24:09,468
Yeah, but I'll probably get
a lifetime achievement.
466
00:24:09,469 --> 00:24:11,748
True. If I survive.
467
00:24:11,749 --> 00:24:13,708
You could have it posthumously.
468
00:24:13,709 --> 00:24:16,188
I like to think if you
did win it posthumously,
469
00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:18,188
I'd be the one to accept it
on your behalf.
470
00:24:18,189 --> 00:24:20,788
Unless, of course, if I was
the architect of your death,
471
00:24:20,789 --> 00:24:23,508
in which case I'd still like to
receive it from my cell
472
00:24:23,509 --> 00:24:24,989
via satellite link.
473
00:24:26,589 --> 00:24:29,188
Thrilled to have this. Er...
474
00:24:29,189 --> 00:24:33,028
you know, I killed Steve
for the good of mankind.
475
00:24:33,029 --> 00:24:34,748
Do I regret what I've done?
476
00:24:34,749 --> 00:24:37,428
Not really, because I think
the world's... Lights out!
477
00:24:37,429 --> 00:24:40,388
I've got to go.
Brydon, lights out, you nonce.
478
00:24:40,389 --> 00:24:42,988
Yeah, that's not what I'm in for,
479
00:24:42,989 --> 00:24:45,628
but I accept it as a
general derogatory term.
480
00:24:45,629 --> 00:24:48,348
DEEP VOICE: Come on, Rob,
come to bed.
481
00:24:48,349 --> 00:24:50,468
All right, Melvyn, I'll be a minute.
482
00:24:50,469 --> 00:24:52,588
Anyway, that's all from me.
I want a cuddle.
483
00:24:52,589 --> 00:24:55,828
Yes, all right, I'll give you
a cuddle. Please just wait.
484
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,147
Erm, so anyway, on Steve's behalf,
thanks for this.
485
00:24:58,148 --> 00:25:00,387
He would have loved it
but, you know, he's gone.
486
00:25:00,388 --> 00:25:02,347
Come on. Yeah, all right. I'm horny!
487
00:25:02,348 --> 00:25:05,587
I want to go on the inside... of
the bed, of the bed, of the bed.
488
00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:07,587
Not the inside of the inmate.
489
00:25:07,588 --> 00:25:09,188
The inside of the bed.
490
00:25:10,228 --> 00:25:13,907
Did you see this?
Michael Winner's memorial service.
491
00:25:13,908 --> 00:25:16,307
And Michael Caine and
Roger Moore were sat there,
492
00:25:16,308 --> 00:25:19,547
the two of them, and they
looked old, cos they are old.
493
00:25:19,548 --> 00:25:23,227
AS MICHAEL CAINE: I don't think
we've ever been this old, Rog,
494
00:25:23,228 --> 00:25:25,228
I'll be very honest with you.
495
00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:29,907
AS ROGER MOORE: We've 'ad a pretty
good innings, though, Michael.
496
00:25:29,908 --> 00:25:33,347
You just dropped your H, Rog.
Why was that? That's not like you.
497
00:25:33,348 --> 00:25:37,507
You just said "We've 'ad
a very good innings, Michael."
498
00:25:37,508 --> 00:25:41,187
What's the matter, Roger?
I'm Michael, you're Roger.
499
00:25:41,188 --> 00:25:45,067
I haven't the time, Michael.
I really haven't the time.
500
00:25:45,068 --> 00:25:47,907
I'll tell you the time, Rog.
It's getting late.
501
00:25:47,908 --> 00:25:49,428
Do you take my meaning?
502
00:25:50,908 --> 00:25:56,267
Oh, Michael, do you remember back
in '88 when we made "Bullseye!"?
503
00:25:56,268 --> 00:25:58,708
Ah, glory days. Happy days.
504
00:25:59,867 --> 00:26:03,906
Tragically superseded by
the television version of Bullseye.
505
00:26:03,907 --> 00:26:05,306
With Jim Bowen?
506
00:26:05,307 --> 00:26:08,307
With the great James Bowen.
507
00:26:10,747 --> 00:26:12,466
180!
508
00:26:12,467 --> 00:26:15,186
I would have loved to have you in
as the voice of the scores,
509
00:26:15,187 --> 00:26:17,026
it would have been lovely.
510
00:26:17,027 --> 00:26:19,226
There's only one word
for that - magic darts.
511
00:26:19,227 --> 00:26:21,986
I mean, I think if you and me had
been doing Bullseye together...
512
00:26:21,987 --> 00:26:23,946
There's only one word for that -
magic darts.
513
00:26:23,947 --> 00:26:26,706
Yeah, there's only one word for
that - magic darts. Magic darts.
514
00:26:26,707 --> 00:26:29,466
There's only one word for that -
magic darts.
515
00:26:29,467 --> 00:26:32,266
There's only one word for that -
magic darts.
516
00:26:32,267 --> 00:26:35,666
There's only one word for that,
Master Bruce - magic darts.
517
00:26:35,667 --> 00:26:38,787
Thank you very much, I haven't
been playing for long.
518
00:26:40,827 --> 00:26:42,587
I'd better go and call Jo.
519
00:26:45,027 --> 00:26:46,667
See you in a bit.
520
00:26:59,147 --> 00:27:02,426
'This person's phone is switched off.
521
00:27:02,426 --> 00:27:04,985
'Please try later or send a text.'
522
00:27:04,986 --> 00:27:07,226
So, how did you end up here?
523
00:27:09,386 --> 00:27:13,145
My boyfriend had a boat.
We sailed together.
524
00:27:13,146 --> 00:27:17,706
Then when we broke up I had to find
work, so I got a job on the crew.
525
00:27:19,746 --> 00:27:21,905
It must be fun.
526
00:27:21,906 --> 00:27:23,866
Sometimes.
527
00:27:25,266 --> 00:27:27,025
Do you have children?
528
00:27:27,026 --> 00:27:31,785
No, I wish I did. Do you?
529
00:27:31,786 --> 00:27:35,945
Yeah, I've got a daughter, Chloe.
530
00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:37,665
She's three.
531
00:27:37,666 --> 00:27:38,866
Aw!
532
00:27:40,146 --> 00:27:42,146
She is gorgeous.
533
00:27:43,226 --> 00:27:45,345
Do you miss her? Yeah.
534
00:27:45,346 --> 00:27:48,425
It's been two days, so I'm...
535
00:27:48,426 --> 00:27:50,226
I'm not pining but...
536
00:27:53,386 --> 00:27:57,146
POSH ACCENT: "Is thy face, like thy
mother's, fair, my child!
537
00:27:58,226 --> 00:28:02,506
"Chloe, sole daughter
of my house and heart.
538
00:28:03,866 --> 00:28:08,345
"When last I saw thy young blue eyes
they smiled and then we parted."
539
00:28:08,345 --> 00:28:12,224
Is that your Hugh Grant impression?
Yes, I'm afraid it is, yes, yes.
540
00:28:12,225 --> 00:28:14,384
I think that Steve's
absolutely right,
541
00:28:14,385 --> 00:28:17,464
I do find it very difficult to -
oh, gosh, crikey - say a poem
542
00:28:17,465 --> 00:28:20,784
unless it's in somebody else's
voice. And Hugh just happened to
543
00:28:20,785 --> 00:28:24,664
be passing, you know, on the beach,
and he popped over for a blow.
544
00:28:24,665 --> 00:28:28,705
..by blow account of
what was going on.
545
00:28:30,265 --> 00:28:33,504
"Sorrow is knowledge:
They who know the most
546
00:28:33,505 --> 00:28:37,384
"Must mourn the deepest
oe'r the fatal truth
547
00:28:37,385 --> 00:28:39,905
"The tree of Knowledge
is not that of Life."
548
00:28:39,955 --> 00:28:44,505
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
44781
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.