All language subtitles for The Goldbergs (2013) - S03E02 - A Chorus Lie (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 RZeroX)
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:04,705
ADULT ADAM: Back in the day,
I was a ridiculously cute kid.
2
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:07,308
Yes! I am literally
the coolest man alive!
3
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:09,277
I'm not bragging.
It's just pure fact.
4
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,811
My God,
you're so cute!
5
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,181
I just want to scrumple you up
and eat you whole!
6
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,816
But of course,
no one stays a kid forever.
7
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,018
Yeah.
8
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,387
You sure about this?
9
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,189
People are gonna know
I'm covering up a zit.
10
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:24,292
Don't worry, pal.
I'll just tell everyone in
school I pummeled your face.
11
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,061
You're a good brother.
The best.
12
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:30,864
Here, you got a giant one
forming on your forehead, too.
13
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:34,335
Maybe I could hide
the pimples, but the rest
was hard to mask.
14
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:36,170
Let's go! Hustle!
15
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:37,905
This is called scooter ball,
16
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,241
not "sit in the corner
and talk to Kevin" ball.
17
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:41,709
I began to smell different.
18
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,711
Whoa, Goldfarb!
19
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:44,845
Wheel it in!
20
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:47,548
Time for a private huddle!
21
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,750
I'm gonna put this
delicately, kid.
22
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,552
You smell like
a gym sock's butt.
23
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,121
Uh, thanks.
24
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,089
You smell like
a garlic diaper.
Thanks?
25
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:57,825
You smell like egg salad
left in a humidifier.
Thanks.
26
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,761
I assume you don't notice
since you live
with that stink 24/7.
27
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,196
Oh, no, I smell it.
28
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,465
There's half a Speed Stick
in my desk.
29
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,900
It's yours now.
Be liberal with it.
30
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,236
Coach is
on your team here.
31
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,271
That's why
I pulled you aside
to avoid embarrassment.
32
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:13,641
I guess I wish you would have
pulled me aside
just a little farther.
33
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,379
ADULT ADAM: I was eating
like an animal
and suddenly seeing
34
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,948
every woman I came across
in a new light.
35
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,917
You seen my, uh, TV guide
with Sally Jessy Raphael
on the cover?
36
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,386
Mmm-mmm, nope.
37
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:26,487
Hmm.
38
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,158
Every woman.
39
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,525
Man, oh, man.
40
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,295
Those looks
and emotional intelligence
to boot?
41
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,464
Whoa.
42
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,632
But worst of all,
it affected my favorite
activity in the world,
43
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,501
the annual school musical.
44
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,136
Welcome, Mr. Goldberg.
45
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,305
I have a feeling
that this might be
the year
46
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,773
that you finally break out
of the chorus.
47
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:48,642
(PIANO PLAYING)
48
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:51,779
* I'm watching sis
go pitter pat
49
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,615
* Said, I can do that,
I can do that *
50
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:57,084
ADULT ADAM: Turns out,
I could not do that.
51
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,887
(SIGHS)
Well, you, um...
You really...
52
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,088
Really sang it.
53
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,723
You sang it.
54
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,725
I know in past years
I was upset when you put me
in the chorus.
55
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,660
But I'm thinking this year,
it feels right.
56
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,729
Done.
You're in the chorus.
57
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,498
Oh, thank God.
58
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,267
Chorus line,
which is a lead!
59
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,535
But I'm in the chorus.
60
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,170
Line.
Oh, thank God.
61
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,038
Which means
you have a big solo.
62
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,840
But I'm in the chorus.
Line.
63
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:23,211
But did you not hear
the sounds I just made?
64
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:26,714
Adam, every boy your age
sounds like you.
65
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,449
And, honestly,
I don't have that much
to work with here,
66
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:29,783
so I might as well
just give the leads
67
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,118
to the most
enthusiastic kids.
68
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,787
Balls.
Yeah, balls.
69
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:37,725
Okay, uh,
let's take it from the top.
Sing it with me.
70
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,494
BOTH:
* I'm watching sis go
pitter pat
71
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,595
Try to stay in the key.
72
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,064
* I'm watching sis
go pitter pat
73
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,766
You're kind of all over
the map. Okay.
74
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,369
* I'm watching sis
go pitter pat
75
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,570
* I can do that
76
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:50,904
You know,
it's mostly a dance show,
77
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,506
and you bring a lot
of dance energy.
78
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,408
You'll get it.
Balls.
79
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,010
* I'm twisted up inside
80
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,913
* But nonetheless
I feel the need to say"
81
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,418
* I don't know the future
82
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:07,255
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *
83
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:11,158
ADULT ADAM: It was
September 30, 1980-something,
84
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:14,362
and my brother
and his idiot posse, the JTP,
85
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:16,364
were gearing up
for the homecoming dance.
86
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,998
What's happening?
What is this?
87
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,568
Homecoming's in four days,
so it's time to give my boys
88
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:23,070
a crash-course lesson
on how to groove
like Milli Vanilli.
89
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:25,939
We all kind of told our dates
that we could dance,
so thank God for Barry.
90
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,376
No.
Thank God for Milli.
91
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,077
Vanilli, not so much.
92
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,812
Wait, wait.
You choose Milli
over Vanilli?
93
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,314
He's got the body
and the moves.
94
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,716
Uh, if he's so great,
then why isn't it
Vanilli Milli?
95
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,218
Milli proceeds Vanilli,
so suck it.
96
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,753
You suck it.
You suck it.
97
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:43,156
Wow, even you three boneheads
found a date to the dance.
98
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,392
Kind of makes you think,
huh?
99
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,294
Like maybe you need
a date for once?
100
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,429
What are you talking about?
I date.
BARRY: No.
101
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:49,997
You third-wheel
me and Lainey.
102
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,765
Look, the only reason
why I haven't been on a date
103
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,501
is because there's no one
at our school worth dating.
104
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,436
Well, if you want to go
to homecoming with me,
105
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,937
I'll totally drop
my foxy lady.
106
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,472
Your foxy lady's
your cousin.
107
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,408
Second-cousin.
Totally different
blood line.
108
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:01,609
Probably not gonna
do stuff, though.
109
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,477
She looks just like me
with a perm.
110
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,946
Erica, you know I love you,
but you're kind of closed off
and way too picky.
111
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,548
I mean, stay away from Geoff,
obviously,
112
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,717
but you got to give
someone a chance.
113
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:12,920
How is it my fault
that every guy in our school
is an unbearable moron?
114
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,656
That's another thing.
You've got to stop calling
everyone a moron.
115
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:18,326
Morons!
You're being too loud!
116
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,494
Find another house
to stupid up.
117
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:24,031
Oh. My. God.
You're just like dad!
118
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,833
Way to go, Mur-man.
119
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,336
Years of calling everyone
on the planet a moron
120
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,038
has poisoned
your daughter's love life
and left her cold and alone.
121
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,073
So you're telling me
that I've raised a daughter
122
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:36,243
who doesn't want to date
dumbass high-school boys?
123
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,678
I think
I've done my job.
124
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,780
Come on.
Let us help you find someone.
125
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,248
Go on.
Describe your perfect guy.
126
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:44,318
Well, he'd be
a mysterious
handsome outsider
127
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,820
with a trench coat,
a sexy voice,
128
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,958
and a thriving acting career
where he plays the
thinking girl's heartthrob.
129
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:54,161
Dude, you're just describing
Christian Slater.
130
00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:55,963
Seriously?
You're a lost cause.
131
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,965
Well, you asked.
132
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,133
Look, if a guy
like Christian Slater
walks through that door,
133
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,336
I promise you I will go
with him to homecoming.
134
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,104
Christian Slater, huh?
135
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,773
You want the coolest guy
in the world?
You got him.
136
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:06,940
What's that?
137
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,444
Nothing,
I just farted. I...
138
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,779
I farted.
139
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,048
I fart... I gotta go.
140
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:18,318
ADULT ADAM: While Geoff
was hatching a plan,
I was out of options.
141
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:20,954
(GASPS)
There's my
tiny snuggle angel.
142
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:25,426
Stop it!
I'm not tiny
or snuggly or angel-y.
143
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,927
Tough day
at the office, kiddo?
144
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,630
The worst.
I got the lead
in the musical.
145
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,999
Schmoo, that's fantastic.
That's all
you've ever wanted.
146
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,101
Not anymore.
147
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,336
My face is breaking out,
my pits are stinking,
148
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:40,207
and my voice is very,
very unpredictable.
149
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,242
I finally get
the part of a lifetime,
150
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,111
and I'm gonna just
humiliate myself.
151
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,381
Ah, yes, the wondrous journey
through puberty.
152
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,182
It's not wondrous.
It's awful.
153
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,118
Well, you've come
to the right place.
154
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,753
Oh, no.
155
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,088
It's my duty
to help you out,
baby bro.
156
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:59,627
Only Big Tasty can guide
you through what many call
"the pubening."
157
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,861
No one calls it that.
158
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,896
First,
stop washing your face.
159
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,666
You'll go through
a very shiny,
greasy couple of months.
160
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,935
But eventually,
your natural oils reach
a healthy balance.
161
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,437
Why does he do this?
I don't know.
162
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:13,173
Second, always shave dry
and against the grain,
163
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,577
attacking the follicles
in a jerky, zig-zag pattern.
164
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,646
And third,
never use deodorant.
165
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,082
That's just something
that big corporations
made up to take your money.
166
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:25,018
Simply apply
a healthy layer
of Vaseline to the armpit
167
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,286
and let it seal in
the stink.
168
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,688
He's still going.
He means well.
169
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:31,024
Think of me as a resource.
I'm here for you, bro.
170
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,928
Thank you, boopie.
So helpful.
171
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,798
Forget everything
you just heard.
172
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:40,233
If anyone understands
what you're going through,
it's mama.
173
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:44,071
No offense, Mom,
but you have no idea
how hard this is for me.
174
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,039
Please, I've watched
two children
175
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,841
go through the pubening.
(CHUCKLES)
176
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,811
Heck, I even
went through it myself
at the tender age of 9.
177
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,079
It wasn't ideal.
178
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,581
They used
to call me "Booberly."
179
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,649
But this is
just something all of us
180
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,651
had to suffer through
on our own.
181
00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:58,952
Now you will, too.
182
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:02,456
Or completely
skip over.
183
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,024
Hmm?
184
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,527
With my guidance,
I'll take this
horrible time
185
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:09,630
and make it smooth, easy,
and maybe a little bit fun.
186
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,699
Are you actually saying
you could save me
from puberty?
187
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,133
No! She can't.
188
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,403
Yes, that is exactly
what I'm saying.
189
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,606
At this point,
I got nothing to lose.
190
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:19,940
Show me
what you got, lady.
191
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,775
ADULT ADAM: While I put
my faith in my mother,
192
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,812
Geoff Schwartz
put his in Christian Slater.
193
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,147
Greetings and salutations.
194
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,816
Lovely home
you got here.
195
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:31,619
What's going on?
Why are you talking
like a jackass?
196
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:35,055
Erica said she wanted
a Christian Slater,
so here I am.
197
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,758
I know it's a long shot,
but I just think
your daughter's amazing.
198
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,860
And if you approve,
I'd love to take her
to homecoming.
199
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,129
Erica!
200
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,964
You've got
a gentleman suitor.
201
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,466
You're one
of the good ones, Mr. G.
202
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:47,668
ERICA: A gentleman what?
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
203
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,540
Greetings and salutations.
204
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:56,309
I was just skateboarding by,
gleaming the cube and whatnot.
205
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,245
Thought we could go
grab a slushie.
206
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,214
Oh, my God, are you trying
to impress me by acting
like Christian slater?
207
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,150
Is it working?
No.
208
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,018
And your clip-on earring
just popped off.
209
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,454
Okay, look, I, I just...
I think you're great,
okay?
210
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,256
I have since, like,
second grade.
211
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,158
Now, I know I made promises
to my cousin,
212
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,961
but maybe we could go
to homecoming together?
213
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,696
Oh, Geoff,
this was sweet,
214
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,065
but I have a pretty firm
"no moron" policy.
215
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,200
Question,
am I in that category?
For sure.
216
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:23,403
Uh, so, um... Okay,
so I'll put you down
for a "maybe."
217
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:28,108
God, what a putz.
Am I right?
218
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,544
ADULT ADAM: At that moment,
my dad realized that perhaps
219
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:33,881
his judgmental nature
may have rubbed off
on his daughter.
220
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,183
And he decided
to do something about it.
221
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,753
Wow, who knew
so many interesting
222
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,355
and attractive young men
went to this school?
223
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,257
They're okay, I guess.
224
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,226
Yeah, lots of fellas who look
like they'd be worth
getting to know.
225
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,928
I should put myself
out there more.
226
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:51,832
Oh, look at that one
with the stylish scarf
and the sketchbook...
227
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,300
A poet and an artist,
I bet.
228
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,868
That's Dan.
(CHUCKLES)
229
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,070
He's shy, but I think
I could crack open that nut.
230
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,839
Hey, how about
that hot shot?
231
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,441
Is he a swimmer?
He's built like a swimmer.
232
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,343
Look at those shoulders.
He swims, for sure.
233
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,879
Will you shut up?
I'm not even talking
to you.
234
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,981
Well, I certainly hope
you're not talking to me.
235
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,018
Hey, take it from someone
who doesn't like people.
236
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:14,421
If you close yourself off,
you're gonna
miss out on a lot.
237
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,189
So my dad wants me
to date more?
238
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,791
It's homecoming!
239
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,860
There's got to be
a nice guy somewhere
who deserves a chance.
240
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,328
You're right!
241
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,096
I'm gonna go ask Dan
to sit with me at lunch,
242
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,698
see what makes
that guy tick.
243
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,266
(GROANS)
Thanks, Dad.
244
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,135
Yes, this is amazing!
245
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,638
Your dad actually
provided you
with real wisdom for once.
246
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,472
Chill, I didn't say
I was going to the dance.
247
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:35,342
I just said
I would consider it
if an idiot asked me.
248
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,277
Got it.
We'll play it cool
and casually spread the word.
249
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,947
Attention, entire school!
250
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,949
This is Erica Goldberg,
251
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:45,152
and she will go
to homecoming
with anyone willing to ask.
252
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,154
Barry, sit your ass down
right now.
253
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,857
Uh, to clarify,
she's not a desperate loser.
254
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:53,126
She's just super closed-off,
and the door's open a crack.
(CHUCKLES)
255
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,829
Which reminds me, Dan,
we're hanging out
after school.
256
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,698
I, I have a dentist
appointment, bro.
257
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,466
Cancel it!
We're building
something here!
258
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,069
Get down.
259
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,603
Subtle. Thank you.
260
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,839
Well, the good news is
now we can just
sit back and wait.
261
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,474
Well, don't hold
your breath.
(SCOFFS)
262
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,542
(SAXOPHONE PLAYS)
263
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,446
'Sup?
264
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:14,782
Hi.
265
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,050
I'm Johnny Atkins.
Heard you needed a date
to homecoming.
266
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,686
Sure, I guess.
267
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,387
You ever been out
with a first chair
in the school band before?
268
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,655
No.
269
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,490
Well, it's everything
you ever imagined.
270
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:26,026
I'll phone you,
saxophone you.
271
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,861
We're gonna have fun.
272
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,596
(SAXOPHONE PLAYS)
273
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,200
Dude's confident,
I'll give him that.
274
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,634
You've got a date
to the dance.
275
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,269
Everybody's happy,
and it all worked out.
276
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,671
What did I miss?
277
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,472
We met a first chair
in the school band.
278
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,108
ADULT ADAM: While Erica
landed a date,
279
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:44,144
I landed a seat
at the Gimbels makeup counter.
280
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,880
What kind of sorcery
is this?
281
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,916
My giant zits are gone!
282
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,686
Mama made you
a promise.
283
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,923
Now your adorable punim
is ready to light up
that stage.
284
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,358
Just one problem,
My singing voice.
285
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,160
My mom couldn't fix that.
286
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:03,363
That is, until some news broke
that shook the country.
287
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,032
They've become
international stars.
288
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,867
But behind the braids
and break-dancing,
289
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,702
it's been discovered
that Milli Vanilli
290
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:11,538
neither sang on their albums
nor at their concerts.
291
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,407
That's unreal.
They fooled everyone.
292
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:17,610
Yes, they really did.
293
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,247
And maybe
you can fool everyone, too.
294
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,648
What are you
talking about?
295
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:24,084
Say that again
only just mouth the words.
296
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,186
(MOUTHING)
What are you talking about?
297
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,122
Did that look
as good as it felt?
298
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,390
Better!
(GASPS)
299
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,392
Problem solved, love bug!
300
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:35,195
We're gonna Milli Vanilli
the (BLEEP)
out of that musical.
301
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,868
ADULT ADAM:
My dad suggested that Erica
take a chance on someone.
302
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,536
Unfortunately,
that someone was this dude.
303
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,806
Yo. Is Erica here?
304
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:48,375
Yo. She's upstairs.
Who are you?
305
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,344
Johnny Atkins.
Yeah.
306
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,782
That Johnny Atkins.
I'm her dad.
307
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,985
Yeah, that dad.
308
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,119
Mind if I just
head up?
309
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,653
Actually, I do.
310
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:06,226
Zang! Atkins likes.
311
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,661
All right, can I talk to you
in the other room
away from this person?
312
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,330
Sure. Oh.
313
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,736
Who the hell is that?
314
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,906
It's my date
to the dance on Saturday.
He wanted to hang.
315
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,908
That kid's your date?
He's a moron.
316
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,043
Well, you're the guy
who told me to give
the morons a chance.
317
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,012
But I meant other morons.
What other morons?
318
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,280
Nice morons!
Morons like
that Geoff kid.
319
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,049
Schwartz?
He's a moron.
320
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,584
They're all morons!
That's what I'm saying.
321
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,021
But any other moron
is better than that moron.
322
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,755
This is ridiculous.
323
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:39,092
I took your advice,
but you don't get
to actually choose who I date.
324
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,661
My dad's plans for Erica
may have fallen apart.
(SIGHS)
325
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:43,997
But my mom's plan
for me only needed
326
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,599
to get past one person
for it to succeed.
327
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,902
Susan,
I really appreciate you
328
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,071
agreeing to see me
on such short notice.
329
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,473
Technically, I didn't agree.
You just barged in
during third period
330
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,342
and yelled
"class dismissed."
331
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,711
Point is, I understand
you're putting together a cast
for this year's musical,
332
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,648
and it's presented
some challenges.
333
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,251
It's a real suck show.
Uh, you're gonna be great.
334
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,186
I won't be,
but that's sweet to say.
335
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,989
Well, what if I had a way
to solve your problems,
336
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,624
a way to make this
your biggest hit yet?
337
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,894
Mrs. Goldberg, we have been
through this in the past.
338
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,162
You can't be
in the musical.
339
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:18,365
No, no, I...
I've come to accept that.
340
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,101
I'm talking
about a different
approach entirely.
341
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:23,436
Have you heard of this
Milli Vanilli scandal?
342
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,772
Big fan. It hit me hard.
343
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,540
Oh, I'm sorry.
344
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,943
But what if someone
could do the same thing
345
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,645
only without making
the same sloppy mistakes?
346
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:36,984
Are you actually suggesting
that Adam lip-sync his songs
in the show?
347
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,620
God, I guess hearing it
out loud, it really does sound
insane, even for me.
348
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:41,989
Screw it. I'm in.
349
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,423
Really?
I'll get all the kids
to do it.
350
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,791
I mean, what choice
do I have?
351
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,559
None. Yay.
352
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,061
Yay.
Yay!
353
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,098
Mouth it. Yay!
354
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,801
(SAXOPHONE PLAYS)
355
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,269
(CHUCKLES)
Hey, Johnny.
356
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:02,009
Yo, looking forward
to Saturday night.
Me too.
357
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,978
So I'll pick up Carla first,
be at your place
around 7:00, cool?
358
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,479
Cool.
(CHUCKLES)
359
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:07,847
Wait, what?
360
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,816
Yeah, I'm also giving her
a ride to the dance.
361
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,652
And she can hang out with us.
And dance with us.
362
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,088
Are you taking both of us
to the dance?
363
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,224
Classic Johnny Atkins,
am I right?
364
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,558
How could you
not see this coming?
365
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,760
Because I have no idea
who you are,
366
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,662
other than
an oddly confident
band geek.
367
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:27,100
Shows what you know.
Band geek in the front,
rock God in the back.
368
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,768
Are you seriously okay
with this?
369
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,638
No, but I really feel
like I can fix him.
370
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,907
But she can't,
so what do you say?
371
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:36,076
What do you think she says?
Hit the bricks, bro.
372
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,744
Dude, I will punch you
in the eyeball.
373
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,746
Erica, help me.
He's serious.
374
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,314
(SIGHS)
You know what, Johnny?
375
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,284
That's a firm "no"
to your creepy offer.
Your loss.
376
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,619
Hey, Debbie Gordon, you got
a date to homecoming yet?
377
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,755
(SAXOPHONE PLAYS)
378
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,958
Oh, man, that was
so sweet of me, huh?
379
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,792
So if it's looking
like you're free
Saturday night, then...
380
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,928
I'm not going
to the dance, Geoff.
381
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,329
Not with anybody.
382
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,535
(LIP-SYNCHING)
* I stuff her shoes
with extra socks
383
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,837
* Run seven blocks
384
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,206
* In nothing flat
385
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,608
* And I can do that
386
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,944
* I can do that
387
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:16,416
This is incredible.
My grandson's
a superstar.
388
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,391
* I'm watching sis
go pitter pat
389
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,792
* Said, I can do that
390
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,327
* That, that, that
391
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:28,962
* That, that, that, that,
that, that, that, that *
392
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,231
My God,
he's repeating himself.
393
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:34,601
You can do what?
What can you do?
Finish the thought.
394
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,170
Dad, he's fine.
Just working out
some kinks.
395
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,141
Wait, so you actually
weren't doing anything?
396
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:44,211
"Not doing anything?"
Didn't you see this?
397
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:49,116
Bevy, you can't let him
go through with this
cockamamie scheme.
398
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,084
Well, actually,
it was my idea.
399
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,819
Oh, God. Why?
400
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:56,056
Pops, I can't go onstage
and completely
embarrass myself.
401
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:59,459
Just do your best!
You're the same great kid
you always were.
402
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,862
Listen to me.
Do I sound
like the same kid?
403
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:05,132
Do I look
like the same kid?
404
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,734
No. I'm not him.
405
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,803
I'm whatever this is.
406
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:14,141
And if Mom
can make it better,
I'm gonna let her.
407
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,442
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)
408
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:21,381
Don't give me that look.
As his mother, it is my job
to make this all better.
409
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,817
But you can't.
All you're doing
is making it worse.
410
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,653
You're turning him
into someone he's not.
411
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,155
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
412
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:33,026
I forgot my foundation,
rouge, and powder puff.
413
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,661
Good day to you, sir.
414
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,068
ADULT ADAM: The biggest night
of my middle-school
theater career had arrived,
415
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,803
and the only one
more nervous than me
was my smother.
416
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,738
Okay, let's warm up.
417
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,241
I have the recording
of the New York
city boys choir
418
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,310
doing scales,
so show me what you got.
419
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:54,681
(LIP-SYNCHING)
* Do, re, mi,
fa, sol, la, ti, do
420
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,949
Oh, very good, very good.
Move those lips.
421
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,218
No sounds!
422
00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:00,553
* Fa, mi, re, do
423
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,022
ADULT ADAM: Watching us
Milli Vanilli our way
through the warm-up scales,
424
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,192
my mom realized
Pops was right.
425
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,661
Okay, Susan.
We need to talk.
426
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,330
Sorry, show starts in five.
427
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:13,200
No, you can't do this.
It's wrong, and you know it.
428
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,802
What are you talking about?
This whole thing
was all your idea.
429
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,571
Those people out there,
they want to see
"a chorus line,"
430
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,273
not "a chorus lie."
431
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,110
I'm so confused
by your moral high ground.
Again, this was all you.
432
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:24,977
Mom, it's fine.
433
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,448
This recording is gonna blow
the freaking roof
off this place.
434
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:32,952
And so are you
with your own voices.
435
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,455
Yes, they are creaking
and cracking.
436
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,891
And, yes, your foreheads
are very shiny, all right?
437
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,394
And you take
insanely long showers,
438
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,029
but it doesn't matter
439
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,832
because you're all just
as amazing as you always were.
440
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,268
I don't feel amazing.
441
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,137
You?
What's your problem?
442
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:53,240
Oh, you heard my voice.
Who cares?
443
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,808
I got bacne, dude.
Crazy bacne.
444
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,711
So? I sweat constantly
for no reason.
445
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,281
I-I'm sweating right now,
and it's like
50 degrees in here.
446
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,783
I've got a weird thing
for Sally Jessy Raphael.
447
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,218
BEVERLY: See?
448
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,420
None of you are alone.
449
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:11,191
You're all going through
something that everybody
has to suffer through.
450
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,426
Come on.
Who's with me?
451
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:14,794
Screw it.
452
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,396
Let's go out there
and give them
453
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,532
the best worst musical
the school has ever seen.
454
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,402
ADULT ADAM: And so we sang it.
455
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,870
We really sang it.
456
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,039
And it wasn't pretty,
but it was definitely us.
457
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:31,444
* Kiss today goodbye
458
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:39,018
* The sweetness
and the sorrow
459
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,357
ALL:
* Wish me luck
460
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,259
* The same
461
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:49,396
* To you
462
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,304
Sure, growing up is hard
and awkward and embarrassing.
463
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,806
But if you're lucky,
you just mind find
the courage
464
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,341
to sing
your way through it...
465
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:05,978
* What I did for love
466
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,886
...or have someone
talk you through it
when you least expect it.
467
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,388
Hey, peanut.
468
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,792
I, uh, heard
about the kid
with the hair.
469
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,395
So, uh, you're not going
to the dance, huh?
470
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:24,431
Honestly,
I hate dances.
471
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,065
And the nice thing
about being alone
472
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,401
is that there's
no one here bothering me,
acting like a moron.
473
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:32,171
Oh, my God,
Barry's right.
474
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,106
God, I'm just like you.
475
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,308
Sorry.
476
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,677
I get it.
477
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,746
But there's hope.
Why?
478
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,981
Well, things work out.
479
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,950
I met your mom.
480
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,753
She sees the best
in everybody,
even a grump like me.
481
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,121
All I'm saying is
482
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,991
just give people
a chance.
483
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,827
Don't be a moron.
484
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,632
ADULT ADAM: 'Cause as hard
as it is to grow up,
485
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,100
it's even harder
to go through it alone.
486
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,338
And when you open up
and put yourself out there,
487
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,173
you'll be surprised
where it leads.
488
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,108
Erica, hi!
489
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,943
Greetings and salutations.
490
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,745
You busy?
491
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:16,316
Uh, not really.
I was just waiting
for my cousin to call back.
492
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,618
I thought maybe
we could still make
the end of the dance.
493
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:22,054
Well, I was thinking maybe
we could hang out instead.
494
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,423
No way.
As friends.
495
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:24,957
Yeah, no.
Let's not put
a label on it.
496
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,026
Let's... Mmm-hmm.
497
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,829
So, what do you say
we go grab a slushie?
498
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:32,064
(CHUCKLES)
499
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,634
Mmm, check this out.
500
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:35,835
Gleaming the cube.
501
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,637
What does that even mean?
No one knows.
502
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,508
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS)
503
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,543
Oh, my God,
Geoff, are you okay?
504
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,247
No, not a new one.
It's photo day at school.
505
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:50,116
You came
to the right place.
506
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:52,585
No, get out!
I don't want any
of your terrible advice.
507
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:55,988
Dude, I'm a pimple pro.
You got to pop
that thing immediately.
508
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,157
Everyone says
not to pop it.
509
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,226
Look at this
flawless skin.
510
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,762
It's like
baby Italian marble.
511
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:06,065
Would you rather have
a pizza face
or a Barry face?
512
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:07,867
Fine.
I'll just pop the thing.
513
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,869
Oh, I gotta get this
on film.
514
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:12,238
Come on.
515
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,341
Let's get a close-up
of that zit.
516
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,743
Hey, why are you covering it?
Don't feel
so embarrassed.
517
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,945
Let me see that zit.
Come on.
For memories.
518
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:22,014
BARRY: Let's get a close-up
of that zit.
519
00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:25,618
He's covering his mouth
'cause he doesn't want anyone
to see his zit.
520
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,754
(LAUGHS)
(BELL DINGS)40834
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.