Original subtitles

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there are glasses there on your head the

newspaper you're sitting on it land a

cushion another baby 50 pounds of java

fine mrs. uncle Beck what do you mean 50

pounds and chop it fine well I thought

you were out there who's Arthur he's the

man I intend to marry oh don't tell me

anything about it I'm only your father I

can read in the newspaper what does he

do for a living

well he's the Iceman an Iceman College

he's a Cornell man read range was a nice

man he's still a nice man as far as I'm

concerned

put it down man get out okay now you're

so smart how are you gonna get it in the

icebox I'll put it in myself

listen know whatever do back back to me

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I've been waiting for you I'll meet you

on the first tee hurry up oh yeah how'd

you do it in your golf bag

yeah you just fell over it what's my

first appointment this morning mr.

Pipitone at 10:30 Wow just have time for

a keyhole what about Kat

you never wear any oh yeah where's the

ice in the icebox

there's just a little piece left now

I'll have to get some more yeah keep

that Iceman out of here gonna order

frigid I

so that's mine well we can't look for it

all day been out of 20 minutes now and I

gotta get back to the office half past

10:00 I'm gonna drop another ball

okay drop another if it isn't unfair to

either of you gentlemen I can tell you

where the ball is where I need exactly

Thanks there's nothing fair to either

one of us we've been looking for the

ball 20 minutes follow I'd wait a minute

they're still on the green I'll let him

get out of the way this is certainly a

great game

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you

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all lying in a sprinkler connection may

be dropped without penalty no nearer the

hole

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get those teeth out of that do I write

my line

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- you can't do that

what do you mean I can't do it read the

car you had drops in the whore what dog

you had to know clever dog well don't

quibble oh snappy little hole that you

think someone yes it is Thank You niblet

rocky nobody having a basket partier

don't stand behind me when I'm shooting

you told me to stand over there sir

never mind where I told you to stand you

stand where I tell you that kid Saddam

he doesn't know what time it is say by

the way what time is it I don't know 10

15 shut up will ya

okay clear keep your eye on the ball

oh wait you can't do that what do you

mean I can't do that oh hi how about a

little golf now I just to my clubs away

what again hey the funniest thing

happened

I've taken my second stroke I beat an

old geezer on the sconce with my fall

right near the green was headed for the

pin the ball rolls back into a water

connection I pick it up drop it over my

shoulder it dribbles down into the hole

I'm down in - well what do you mean well

they gave me the same argument I'm

downing to look at the back of the car

they wanted me to do it over again after

I had a fine drop all right where's the

soul it's in your hand

how about tomorrow doc well what time oh

wow

no I won't be able to go why not I'm

going duck shooting well I'll run along

now say boy you should have been there I

took this mashie Niblick hit the

straight shot with a pen it beans this

old geezer down into the water

connection it goes coming back drops

into the water connection I pick it up

and drop it over my shoulder and down

into the hole it goes well I'll give you

a ring tomorrow doc okay well they burn

it up take it of fried eggs on the back

of his neck better and how do you know

do sit down put it in here please

you won't hurt my leg will you my doctor

says I have a very bad leg yeah doctor's

office nut I don't believe in doctors

anyway cuz the doctor lives right down

the street here treated a man for yellow

jaundice for nine years then found out

he was a Jap here doctor - yes it was a

little - home you're rather fortunate

was the Newfoundland dog that bit you

you sit down can I use gas

well guesser electric light I'd feel

nervous to have you fool around me in

the dark

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come on come on now I'll try not to be

so cruel this time come on come on oh I

can't let you do that again

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tell her I'm out but doctors she has a

three o'clock appointment that wouldn't

care she had a four o'clock appointment

five when I was in Darjeeling Oh

no no no we've been waiting for you when

I found you to go out one of these Luka

said I'm I'll go out and tell on my

mouth don't have these buggers walking

on me hide one I don't want to sing

you just come in for the ride haven't I

seen your face somewhere before

Oh probably you've seen me at the horse

show jockey mm-hmm can you open your

mouth come on now you got a bigger mouth

than that opener Oh beautiful

hand me that 404 circular buzzsaw

dropping dropping dropping dropping is

that a 404 conical you can me

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[Applause]

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pardon me

you wouldn't let Arthur come here to see

me so I'm going to see him excuse me a

moment folks

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you said a mouthful

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came out easily have you ever had this

tooth pulled the hall no this won't hurt

you much

I'm gonna give her cash romantic would

you like a drink

what is it water no thanks see that

female wrestler gone yeah she's gone

is he standing in a hole no he's just a

little fella hmm Santa man I'll fix him

how do you know how's everything up in

Moscow

got two strikes on the boys hey when you

said ow

thank you

I can't find this mouth hand me that

stethoscope will you thanks will you say

our please oh okay oh okay oh I almost

have a oh and a very pretty thing to let

me see now Tammy a drill thank you

I'll just open your mouth

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you can't see that hurt you doctor your

daughter is going out with the Iceman oh

me surely I gotta lock in the room but

they're using a ladder where do you

think you're going

that's him so you're the guy to hit my

pot on the head yeah if you want to make

anything out of it I'd like to see you

do that again if it's necessary for him

to do it again no father you're not

really going to fly a Frigidaire are you

50 pounds we'll make it snappy

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you