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My name is Jessica Taylor

and I am a Highly Sensitive Person.

They say San Francisco is one of the happiest places on Earth

but today, like many days, I am not in a happy place.

I'm also a 'Fil-Am' - short for Filipino mixed with American.

Like many days, I am feeling overwhelmed by the World.

My family, my job, my relationships; why do I have to be so sensitive about everything?

I feel the weight of every living creature's emotions.

I'm so overwhelmed when I think about climate change.

I feel like there's something wrong with me.

Some days I feel like I'm too sensitive to live.

About twenty to thirty percent of our population exhibit a survival strategy

of observing and processing especially carefully,

looking for threats and for opportunities that others miss.

Approximately this percentage is found in at least one hundred other species

always in a minority.

Biologists can spot them by observing behavior, as if looking before acting.

We categorize them as Highly Sensitive.

In humans there are about equal numbers of men and women with the trait.

Among the many brain differences of Highly Sensitive people there's activity in the insula

- the brain area that some researchers call 'The Seat of Consciousness'

- and because of that we see greater depth of processing,

we see more awareness of subtle stimuli

and greater emotional responsiveness, including empathy.

So we've come to use the acronym D.O.E.S. or 'Does' or you can say "Doze"

and that stands for 'Depth of Processing', being more easily over stimulated,

stronger emotional responsiveness and empathy, and sensitive to subtle stimuli and...

...Excuse me Doctor Aron?

Will Highly Sensitive people be happier in a relationship

with another Highly Sensitive person?

That's an important question. The research shows that two Highly Sensitive people

H.S.P's as we call them, and a couple where only one is Highly Sensitive,

are about equally satisfied in their relationship.

There is advantages to both people in both combinations, although the benefits are a little different.

Sorry, I'm Jessica. I know about your books, er, my question is;

how can I make my partner understand my high sensitivity without thinking I'm strange or crazy?

I just want to keep it under control.

Well, many highly sensitive people have this issue of, quote; "getting under control",

it's an innate trait. We really think the main issue is appreciating the trait of 'sensitivity'.

Can I add something? Jessica, clearly your relationship is very important, and that's not trivial,

in fact I see a lot of you here in the audience are couples, so this applies to all of you:

the research shows that the 'quality' of your relationship strongly predicts how long you'll live,

even more strongly than obesity or smoking.

I'm a dead woman then!

I beg your pardon?

I'm sorry. Look, is there any sort of cure for High Sensitivity?

Because my boyfriend can't stand it

and to be honest, I can't stand it sometimes too.

And we fight about it a lot - I mean a lot.

High Sensitivity is not a disorder

it's not something to be cured

Second, 69% of couples have serious conflicts they can't resolve

and your differences in temperament could be a source of conflict,

but happy couples just manage those conflicts better.

And since many Highly Sensitive people feel there

might be something wrong with them because they're different

they tend to have low self esteem,

that means in a conflict they don't stand up for themselves

and that's not good in a conflict.

About a third of all break-ups appear to be due to certain

innate traits, traits that can't be changed, but,

if the partners understand each other's traits

that seems to help a lot.

Does that answer your question?

Uh, yes, yes, thank you very much.

What do you think the chances are that she's late?

Your sister, or the baby?

The elder.

But at least when she's late she apologizes, and she means it.

Unlike Lyle who never apologizes for anything,

he just cares about himself.

You know, I thought that being an expectant Dad

would make you go a little easier on yours.

Okay okay I get it - I get enough from Jess.

Oooh, ooh! What, what? Cramps, cramps?

You okay? - Yeah I'm okay. Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.

Does it hurt? - Yeah it hurts! - It's okay, okay.

Hey take it easy, take it easy, be nice!

You're going to be nice to people.

Okay okay, just breathe, just breathe.

Jessica?

Well you're one of the few people whose name I've learned today

You look a little upset.

Oh I ... I'm fine. I'm sorry I'm just in a bit of a weird place right now.

Um, I'm sorry I interrupted earlier.

That's no problem.

Well my brother and I we're both Highly Sensitive, but, we're like night and day.

My brother, he's fine, he's in a great marriage. I on the other hand,

I can't seem to get it right; that's actually why I'm here today.

Well this one's on the house.

Really?

Thank you so much.

I'll go ahead.

Er ... Jessica?

Yes?

You know, boundaries are really important for Highly Sensitive people

and because we have so much empathy, sometimes

we don't have them and we're afraid of hurting other people

but we shouldn't hurt ourselves in the process.

Thank you.

Their lecture - it spoke to me in so many ways I wasn't prepared for;

their cases sparked so many memories

I began to notice a pattern.

I was constantly making choices that put

somebody else's needs above my own.

I knew that I had to set boundaries

that I should take control of my own life, but how?

Hey! Jessica: Ay!

Why do you do that to me Todd?!

I told you I don't like it when you do - ssh!

Hello? Hi Monica.

It's not your boss, it's me, Lizzie.

Lizzie, sorry, can I call you right back?

Ah ... hello?

Hey! Jessica: Hello?

One second - sorry this is an emergency, it's my boss. Hi Monica,

- yeah I just ... I just wanted to talk to you about, you know ... - Hey!

No I'm not getting writer's block, erm actually

- I can't do another post about fashion ... - erm - Hello? Jess!

Erm, yeah, I just really want to write about things that will make a difference you know?

- Er no, no I don't want to do fashion, I ... - I ... I mean ...

You know what I ... I didn't want to put it this way but it's ...

it's lifestyle or nothing.

Great, I have my resignation email right here

I'll send it to you right away.

Ah-ha? Ah-ha? We're finished?! Great! Bye! Bye! Arrgh!

Hey, have you seen my flats?

Mila baby come here!

Yes we saved her, we saved her so they wouldn't put her down!

Shut up!

Oh my gosh! Lizzie!

- Hey! - Hey, love, I'm sorry. Jess!

I ... you know, I think I just quit my job.

Oh is that so? Yes.

Um, babe, can I call you back - one second?

No but I just wanted to ...

Hey baby - what's up?

It's very perceptive of you.

What? Is everything okay? It's almost like you're highly sensitive or something.

Did you not hear the conversation I just had?

I, I just quit my job.

Really? Yeah 'cause it sounded like you were getting fired.

No, they didn't even have time to say it. I beat them to the punch.

That was dumb. And the dog?

She's so sweet babe. Come here Mila!

Come here Mila. They were going to put her down, I saved her, Isn't she so cute?

What's happening? Where are you going?

Well, you and I finally have something in common. 'Cause I quit my job too.

What? Why?

And er ... I'm leaving.

Wait wait. Can you, can you just talk to me?

What are you talking about? Where are you going?

Can you just relax for one second?

I'm going to a law firm in Hollywood.

You're going to Hollywood for a law job?

Yes.

Okay is this another one of your - you're gonna be partners in a big law firm ...

... and it doesn't happen ... Wait, hold on - they screwed me over!

They screwed you over? Yes.

Is this about that legal secretary? Oh, you know what, come on.

Is she going to Hollywood too?

No. Then what?

You know ... ... What's it matter?

It's you I'm done with 'Miss Sensitive', okay?

I've always got to pick you up,

like you just get nervous all of a sudden

or god forbid you read an article in The Chronicle and you just start crying.

This 'Highly Sensitive' thing?

It's what makes you a loser.

This, feeling what other people feel, is just ...

... it's just, loser noise.

I'm done with you okay? I gotta tidy you up out of my life.

I gotta de-clutter you, so I can focus on my own things.

"I, I, I, I, I, I ..." Screw you, you you! Wake up! You are a curse!

You're bad JuJu! You're bad energy!

And I'm so ... aargh ... tired of you being such a loser, and dragging me down with you.

Get over yourself Todd! Keep your dog!

In an instant, I no longer had a job or a boyfriend.

There was part of me, deep down in my gut, that always knew it would come to this.

That it was only a matter of time before my sensitivity

brought everything in my life crashing down around me;

the part of me that felt like nobody would ever love me.

That I didn't belong anywhere.

There was only one person who could make me feel otherwise -

- who would make me feel less ... broken.

Hey Jess. I've been texting you. How'd it go?

Sorry, I, I had to turn off my phone.

Oh, I thought maybe just the lecture was that bad.

Actually, that was the only good thing that happened to me today.

Oh boy. I know that sound.

Let me guess, 'cause I'm not a psychic or anything, but er ...

... this boyfriend of yours, erm, Todd, he's,

floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bee. Am I right?

Can I make a suggestion?

I think you need to get away.

Why don't you come out here to the Philippines and visit me

and just get away from all of that

you can clear your head, and, I think it'll be really good for you?

I need to stay close to Dad.

Oh Dad will be fine. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself.

Everything you do for that guy anyway, he doesn't even appreciate.

If you want to pick up and go you can. He didn't have a problem doing it.

Robbie, we all make mistakes.

Jess, I know you want some connection with him but ...

... you gotta stop living in the past.

If you keep this up, you're just gonna fade away,

and I don't want to see that happen, I want to be here for you

but in order for me to do that, I need you to be here.

So get your butt on a plane and come visit your brother!

We'll have some fun - just get away from all of that.

Maria would love to see you.

Just, trust me.

Okay brother.

Okay, I love you.

I love you too.

Maria! Jessica's coming to visit!

We're going to have to fix her the back room okay?!

And, she eats a lot ... so...!

Before I could make my way to the other side of the World

there was something I needed to handle - or, someone, I should say.

He had been a constant source of pain in my life

and yet I could never stop trying to build a relationship.

My brother had warned me that it was pointless

and yet I kept hoping that each encounter ...

Yeah? Who is it? ... would be a breakthrough.

It's me Dad.

Jessica? Come in - door's open.

Cup of tea? Yes please.

Why are these ... why are these photos out?

I was just tidying up. Came across them, you know, had a good look.

Here.

It's my favorite photo of Mom.

Yeah me too. It's lovely huh?

Reminds me of Robbie.

Yeah.

We've never really been the 'family type' huh?

Yeah, well, you know, not everybody is.

Or maybe I'm just unloveable.

Unloveable.

So. You've split up with your boyfriend, you've lost your job.

You need a place to crash? Or is it money?

Actually I'm here to tell you that ...

I'm leaving for a bit, maybe a couple of months or so.

Why?

Do you think you can watch over Mila while I'm gone?

Yeah, I guess. I like the dog. But why the trip?

I was thinking of visiting Robbie in Manila.

You're running away to Brother.

Why can't you call him by his name?

Because he's stubborn, and he's got no respect for anyone ...

... let alone his old man.

Does he remind you of anyone?

Your brother's always been a runaway;

first New York, then Hollywood, then Manila,

You know, I think he only married a Filipina because your Mom was a Filipina.

He just can't face things.

I know, I know, you're going to say it -

he's just like me.

At least you know that much. He's just like you;

can't face things, runs away, buries himself in work.

Just another one of us that's not the family - type, right Dad?

Yeah, Jess, and he knows that.

So, tell me,

which one of us can't you forgive?

I guess it's me.

I suppose it was time to set a boundary.

And that boundary was 7,000 miles wide.

"You don't know how beautiful,"

"You don't know how beautiful, no,"

"You don't know how beautiful,"

"and lost, and frightened,"

"and angry, and broken,"

"and so I have to go"

"'cause you don't know how beautiful you are."

Excuse me young lady, you need some help?

Robbie!

From the moment I landed

I already felt a sense of a fresh start.

My brother is one of the only people who understands me.

And I, understand him.

Maria, look who's here!

Oh you look so beautiful!

Oh, you look beautiful!

Look, look, look, look!

Hi! I'm your auntie!

Yes he's been waiting to meet you. These are for you.

Wow they're beautiful! Thank you so much.

Take a look, take a look. Look what we got here.

Is this a hotel?

No this is my home -

- and your home for the next few days. What? Wow! Are you kidding me?!

This is your house?! Yeah.

I love love love Robbie's wife, Maria!

She was born here to a Filipina mom and a Jewish dad.

Then she went to the U.S. and struggled in elementary school

but thrived at a big city university,

so naturally, her and I can relate.

But now she's back home with her people,

and because of it, Robbie got lucky and found a great wife.

They both existed in two different worlds and were seeking an emotional home.

They found it, in each other.

Wait wait wait wait!

Where's the sign I told you to put up

that says 'No Boys Allowed'? No boys allowed?

It's so beautiful.

We're going to keep it clean.

I could live here for ever.

Hey Jess? Do you recognize any of this?

You kept all these?

At the end of the day, all we're left with are our memories.

It's up to us to make sure they're good ones.

I'm so happy you're here.

I'm so happy to be here too.

Todd and I never really connected.

I don't think he really loved me.

I mean the 'real' me - the 'sensitive' me.

He's just a narcissistic jerk and a liar.

Where'd you meet this guy again?

The internet.

The internet, that's right, you met him on the internet.

Grow up.

Hey, I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying ...

... how do you really get to know someone on the internet?

Now Maria and I, we met in person,

through mutual friends, with real people.

That's just something you get with that,

that you're not going to get with some online dating site.

You know what my biggest mistake was?

That I got carried away with his looks.

He looked so good in his photos, but in person ...

'Awoogah!'

He was even hotter!

How does that even happen?

So what you're trying to say is ...

... he is now another ... 'Ex'.

Game! Ha ha ha!

Sometimes I want to call him and just ask for him back.

Other times I just want to fly across the world - literally.

I really wish Mom was here.

To talk to you about all this stuff.

I don't mind listening but ...

... I don't know, if she was here, she'd be there for you.

Something went wrong, huh? For the both of us?

I just never thought there was anything to talk about.

You were two years old.

You seemed pretty happy with Dad's new wife he got for Christmas.

I already had Mom. I didn't need another one.

And I didn't want to disillusion my little sister.

Well I'm a grown-up now,

so, disillusion me.

The story I've never been told - Rob!

- the real reason why Robbie and I could be the way we are.

The truth about our Mother.

I hear you've not been doing what Sarah asks of you.

You are going to start treating her like a son should treat a mother ...

... with respect. Do you hear me?

And another thing -

- stop talking about your Mother!

She has gone! Get that through your head!

It'll be better for Sarah, better for Jessica and better for you - do you get me?

Look at me Rob;

this is serious.

I'm going to be going away for a few days, alright?

And I need you to be strong, that's something new for you isn't it? Strong!

You are going to be the man here, and I need you to be the man,

I need you to be strong so that Sarah has someone to trust.

So do not rock the boat; and for goodness sake, stop crying!

I'm sorry, right, this is hard for me too.

Rob! When I see your face, either you or your sister, I see your Mother - I see her face.

Sarah is the best I can do, okay? - Okay?!

Oh, how did you deal with all the grief throughout the years?

Well I guess I had it stored away on the old 'hard drive'.

I didn't want to bum you out - you seemed to like Sarah.

Well now can I disillusion you?

Do it.

I tried so hard to please Dad.

And to please Dad I had to please Sarah.

Imagine, I had to do all that, just to get them to love me.

And if I was good at one thing, I was good at 'people pleasing'.

The whole time I thought we were getting closer, and I ...

... and one day, Dad and her were fighting about something and ...

Did you ever really like me Ma ... Sarah?

She outright said, she did not like me.

Thought I was stuck up and high maintenance.

She's one to talk.

She thought you and I had some sort of disease,

that was passed on from Mom. Wow.

She said it was bad genetics.

I'm sorry. You must have felt, back-stabbed.

More like, worthless.

Geez - Louise guy!

Okay. I want this to be a recording of where I am presently.

June 25th. Physically I'm here in Manila with my brother,

but mentally ... I guess ...

I've known for most of my life that I was different.

I thought that there was something wrong with me.

It all started when Mom was gone.

Without her, Dad grew more distant than ever before.

All too soon he moved on with a new wife,

and I suspected he wished he could move on with new children as well.

I never knew how much my Father had hurt my Brother.

But Robbie threw himself into his music and found a wife that understood him,

and I found Todd.

At first I thought we were a great match,

it wasn't until later that I realized he was a narcissist.

I was so willing to open my heart and my mind to another, but ...

... it was all about Him.

When I would get upset or overwhelmed he would get so angry.

He could not deal with my sensitivity.

You see, I am an HSP A Highly Sensitive Person.

Oh, but for now, more sibling bonding time.

There she is.

Oh sorry.

Hi, good morning!

You're up.

Guess that jet lag's no joke huh?

Well I've been feeling a little queasy, but I think I'll be fine.

I think you'll be fine. What are you up to?

I was looking at this map earlier and I was thinking,

maybe I should go explore our Motherland.

Really? Hm hm.

Well I could take you - or I can get you a driver?

No no no no. I want to go like 'full explore mode' -

I want to do it the way the locals do it.

But maybe you can drop me off at the Guadalupe Ferry?

Nice. Done. You're really going to enjoy this,

it's an amazing experience there.

Yeah well you know me, I am the 'sensitive type' that gets bored easily.

Yeah I do know you: one foot on the gas,

one foot on the brake at the exact same time.

Well this time it's, on the gas.

Alright, get your stuff and I'll meet you out front. Okay, okay, wait one second okay?

Hello my love, I'm so happy to see your face - so glad you called.

I missed you too!

Can you see where I am? Isn't this beautiful?

It's beautiful. So, how's Rob and Maria?

They're great. Oh my gosh, you should hear Rob's music,

he's producing crazy stuff!

And guess what - they have a kid on the way.

What?! A kid?!

Hm hm.

I can't imagine Rob with a kid.

Anyway, I saw your video.

What are you talking about? I didn't post any videos.

The video, that you posted?

No. Oh, erm, can you remind me of what it was like?

You were talking about Rob and Lyle? About your parents?

Girl, I, I never knew that. You went really deep.

You saw that?

Hm hm.

Oh my gosh Elizabeth, I'm so scattered.

That wasn't for the public. That was a personal video.

Um, what am I going to tell Rob?

You've got really good feedback.

You know what, can you hold on for a second? I'll just check.

There's so many comments.

Oh my god. One person said...

Another said...

Tell me about it!

Ah this is nice ...

I mean this is crazy but ...

... erm, you know what Elizabeth, I'll call you back

because, we're going to get off the boat and I'll just talk to you later okay?

Thanks for telling me.

Love you!

Love you!

Hi darling!

Hey! How are you? You look nice.

Nice to see you again. Nice to see you! Have a seat.

You seem to have put on a little weight.

Okay!

I guess I'm getting a little too comfortable in my new home recording studio.

I hardly leave the house any more and I just sit around eating all I want!

Attaboy!

So, what's up?

You seem to look a little, anxious for someone who's so 'comfy.'

I'm just going to come out and say it ...

My sister, she's in town, visiting.

And I think she needs help;

I think she could use your help.

She's going through this really bad break up with her boyfriend,

and she's miserable.

Was she miserable in the relationship? Do you see this as a pattern?

I mean she's always gone from guy to guy, she's real, clingy, but,

she's the kind of person, all she's ever wanted was to find that one person

to give her heart to.

And she's beautiful, she's so smart, she's a brilliant writer but,

when it comes to men, she's just really, really bad.

I'm afraid to answer the phone; 'Hey Rob, I've met this new guy and I'm in love!'

And ... crash and burn, every time.

But I'm coming to you because, what makes things worse is,

she's an HSP

Worse? Or better?

Robbie, Highly Sensitive People learn faster from their mistakes,

at least from my experience.

Yeah but first they have to accept the fact that they've made a mistake.

Just between us, I think

Highly Sensitive People can change the World.

So ... all right, send her to me.

Really?!

Yes.

So tell me, how's it going with Lyle?

Well you know Lyle.

Well my sister, the mother hen that she is, she er ...

... keeps trying to get me to break the ice with him.

She even wants me to call him Dad every once in a while.

But why not? He is your Father.

Listen Rob, I'm going to tell you this as a friend,

not as a therapist.

You need to deal with this. You need to heal yourself.

What do you really want?

You don't want to be stuck in the past, all right then let's look at your future.

You have to choose to try to either forgive and embrace the man who is your Father,

and accept all his flaws.

Or what?

Ask yourself what is it exactly you want to see happen.

And I'm telling you that for free.

"I find myself again, deep in the arms of Manila"

"I lose myself again, right in the back streets of Manila"

"I left my heart and soul" Jessica: Wait! Wait!

"I hope the DJ understands"

"Tonight I lose control"

"And all my senses win again"

"For in your paradise your time just slips away"

I had already been overwhelmed by the City when I saw it.

Children ... the poor children laughing and playing

while behind them the innocent backdrop of the sea of garbage;

endless litter giving tragedy to their surroundings.

I felt the pain behind their eyes.

The suffering of the life they'd been born into.

Their stares ripped through me,

destroying the last safe thread I was gripping on to.

Hi ma'am. Are you all right?

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm sorry.

Do you ... do you need anything?

Why are you crying?

Erm, nothing. I've just ... I've never seen anything like this.

Don't worry, we're doing something about it, something positive.

Our River Warriors are doing everything they can to clean the rivers and waterways.

What happened? It was neglected by the people before us.

We need people like you to educate them,

and to teach them that what they are doing is wrong.

Take pictures and show everybody around the world.

Yes I will. You're doing a wonderful thing.

Thank you ma'am.

I was gutted by what I had seen.

Something about those children stuck with me.

They were living in such horrible conditions, completely impoverished,

and yet, they fought on.

Their faces lit up with bright smiles, and their eyes were full of hope.

I knew that if they could show so much strength in their daily lives,

then I should try to show more in mine.

Our obstacles were not the same,

but those children were an amazing source of inspiration.

There was a new day in Manila, and a new chapter in my life.

It's Rob.

Robbie? I actually called because I need to tell you something.

Erm ... I'm really sorry but I may have posted some very private and personal

matters of the family online and, and,

I didn't do it intentionally but now its ...

... I saw it.

For something that happened 25 years ago it's kinda weird.

I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean it.

I forgive you okay? It's okay.

It's not a big deal.

I doubt anyone important is going to see it,

and if they do, then, all the better.

I'm so sorry Robbie,

I know how private you are and ...

the last thing I'd want to do is hurt you.

Hey, I love you okay?

I'm proud of who we are - you came here to relax and have a good time,

so I don't want you stressing over anything okay?

Thank you for understanding.

I love you.

All right. I love you. I'll see you soon.

Bye.

Okay guys I'm ready.

Baby we're gonna count you in okay?

I'm feeling really good about this one. Sweet, bud.

Okay, here we go: 3-2-1

'You're a treasure from the Almighty'

What'd I tell you bud? That voice! It's gold dust man!

'Such a beautiful river'

We have lift off eh! 'Your scent that we love to breathe in'

'Brings passion into our lives'

Trust me!

'But now your blue has turned to black'

'Will that darkness continue on?'

'Pasig River, what I want to see is joy in your every wave'

She's only 16! She's got a long way to go man!

'Pasig River, today we will revive you'

'And bring back your magnificent waves'

I've never been this excited for a talent man!

'Pasig River, what I want to see is joy in your every wave'

'Pasig River, today we will revive you And bring back your magnificent waves'

Wow! What did I tell you man?!

Wow, what can I say? You nailed it - that's our winner!

Come on in here, I got somebody I want you to meet.

That was amazing!

What are you doing here? I didn't even know you were going to come!

Oh that sounded great.

This is my sister from San Francisco,

finally here to visit her brother;

this is my music agent and good buddy, Mark.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Your sister huh? So what's her deal man?

Her deal? Sure you want to know?

Come on, give me the scoop.

The scoop?

I want the whole scoop.

Okay, here's the scoop.

She just went through a really bad break-up with some asshole,

she lost her job, she's going through a real rough patch,

so I had her come down here to hang out with me and clear her head,

and maybe she could figure some stuff out.

But she's not here long enough to meet anybody new.

What are you trying to say?

I know what you're thinking.

Okay...

She got a number? Come on!

Hey! You want her number, you ask her.

And be nice.

I am nice!

Yeah. Maybe I will ask her.

Hey man, good show tonight, right.

Hey, put in a good word for me ... come on.

Go home man, go home! See you soon!

Today I went to Estero De Magdalena.

It triggered these anxious feelings of ...

maybe there isn't saving the World any more.

And it broke my heart a million times over.

And I thought to myself - have mercy.

And out of nowhere - a gentle giant appeared.

And with three little words:

"Are - you - okay?"

That act of compassion meant the world to me, and gave me hope.

I am so overwhelmed with how many of you

have connected with this feeling of being adrift and lonely,

and I want you to know that you are not alone.

We are all here for each other.

That was the best Robbie! You have to invite me to the next one.

Well you're going to be here.

We do those once or twice a week when we're not doing bigger sessions downtown.

Well I am so proud of you, and you know what?

I think Dad would be pleasantly surprised.

Oh pleasantly surprised, is that what he would say? 'Pleasantly surprised.'

It's the story of my life.

Look at that! Oooh.

So ... about your friend Mark.

What about my friend Mark? The guy you started flirting with?

I was not flirting! Was I flirting?

Did it look like I was flirting? I'm pretty sure yeah.

I told him the truth;

that you were going through some stuff and you came here to visit me,

and you're not going to be here that long.

So I didn't give him your number or anything.

What? Wait? Did he even ask for my number?

Of course he asked for your number.

He even wants me to put in the 'good word.'

Well yes, boys should not be on my mind.

Exactly!

But ... I'll think about it.

I knew you were going to say that.

All right, cheers, come on.

Cheers. Here's to you in the Philippines visiting your big brother for a new start.

Cheers! Cheers!

'I wonder if you will fall in love with me.'

Yesterday was an emotional day; the lows hit low and the highs hit high.

But when you're sensitive, and potentially in love,

it starts to feel like the sky's the limit.

Are you still jet lagging? No I actually overslept the other night. Good morning.

Good morning brother. That looks good.

You want some? Are you hungry? I ate all your food. She did.

Yeah I can see that. I mean you're just sitting there eating.

I have a meeting, I don't want to be late. Bye. See you. Have a good day.

Are you serious? Is he really out and about before 9 am? So weird.

I know he's really on it.

The baby's keeping him on track.

Are you excited?

Hm? About the baby? Are you excited?

Yeah of course.

Is everything okay Maria?

Hm? Yeah. Yeah I'm fine.

Hey. You know you can talk to me right?

You know, honestly Jess, erm ...

... you know I think Robbie's really nervous to have a kid.

And before we got married he agreed.

He agreed that we were going to have children; that was my bottom line.

So I mean he acts cool about it, but ...

... he's not excited.

I mean the whole concept, the whole idea of birth is completely freaking him out.

He won't even come to Lamaze classes with me.

Honestly I think that he's just scared, erm ...

... well I think that he's scared that it's going to end up like, with your Mom.

I mean ...

Ever since we found out, it's like he's haunted about it and ...

I just don't think that he can handle being completely like, triggered all the time.

Can I ask? Do you remember what happened?

I was two.

Nobody really explained to us what happened medically.

Dad never talks about it.

When I got a little older, Robbie explained to me what had happened.

He told me that ... there was a fight ...

Get out! You can't be in here!

Then he heard Dad crying in another room.

And he just knew what it meant.

He told me once that he was never going to be ready for a family.

So erm, I don't know. That's it.

Well ready or not, we are already a family.

And a quickly growing one at that!

You know Jess? At least it's reassuring, and somewhat comforting,

to know why he's like this.

Love you. I'm so glad you're here.

I'm happy to be here too.

And I can't wait to meet this one!

Me neither, trust me!

And I'm sure it's excited to meet you too.

Hopefully he looks more like you than Rob.

I won't tell him you said that!

It's been great to get away and catch my breath,

so much beauty here, but also so much pain,

but it's been the people that make it all worthwhile.

Jess, Joe finally said yes to my leave

and I think it has to do with my awesome flirting skills.

So, speaking of how's the boy situation out there?

Have you met any hot, spicy islanders lately?

Boys are the last thing on my mind.

So?

Okay, I may have met someone through my brother.

Do tell, do tell.

We haven't gone out on a date or anything,

but we kind of hung out while Robbie

and his friends were jamming.

And then?

And he's nice, but I feel like I may have scared him

off with my whole Estero de Magdalena story.

Girl.

If he can't deal with you at your saddest,

then he doesn't deserve you at your best.

Well don't get me wrong.

He is pretty sweet

and at least I met him through family.

I am staying away from dating apps like dengue.

Well, you always make a better second impression anyway.

I don't know.

I guess I'm just anxious.

I don't even know if he likes me or anything?

Jess, you just have to accept the fact that

some people will like you

and some people won't. Like pizza.

Everyone loves pizza, but some people like

pepperoni toppings, other people like anchovies,

weird people like Hawaiian.

Highly sensitive people would go for something

like goat cheese and pesto,

very out there, but for my taste very special.

You know, at the same time I shouldn't even be focusing

on if boys like me or not.

Unless it's the right guy.

I love you.

Bye-bye.

You remember when I talked about going to

Estero de Magdalena yesterday, I wish I wasn't so emotional,

but at the same time I guess,

no emotions are wrong.

They help us learn and help you remember

moments even more.

Oh, whoops.

Hello.

Hi, sorry, did I just drop your call?

Uh huh.

Okay, can you wait one second?

I'll just check my schedule.

Yeah, I think I'm free.

Okay.

See you then.

Eat that and it will make you forget your beautiful girlfriend

oh dear.

Welcome to my palace.

Oh my goodness, it's Venus rising from the sea.

Welcome. My name is Jetro.

Hi, my name is Jessica.

Hello Jessica.

Oh my goodness.

Are you looking for someone?

Actually, I have a friend that invited me,

his name is Mark.

Mark.

What do you do with Mark that ruffian?

Mark, you have a friend here,

come on here. Come on in. Oh Jessica.

Make yourself comfortable.

Hi, how are you?

Obviously, you've met Jetro.

Oh yes, obviously.

Believe it or not, I used to work here.

Really? Yeah.

That's right.

He was my worst employee, but all the patrons loved him.

It must have been his, you know,

his dark sex appeal.

Anyway, now he comes running back here looking

for a nice table and to impress a pretty girl.

What he didn't tell me was how gorgeous she was.

Come on, sit down, sit down,

come on, make yourselves comfortable over here,

my dear.

Thank you.

All right.

Can I get you guys anything?

Before anything else, I tell you something

about Jessica.

She is a writer from San Francisco here for some R & R

in what better place than your place, Jetro.

I'll be right back.

I'm going to get you some really hot drinks.

Hey go easy on the drinks,

we are just having coffee.

You? sure you are,

sure you are.

Yeah, coffee, ok?

I'll be right back.

Just wait, Okay.

Thank you, I love your place by the way.

Thank you, thank you very much.

So, how's Manila, how is it treating you so far?

Well actually, I did something weird the other day.

I accidentally posted something really personal.

I spilled my guts online and it went viral.

Spilled your guts online?

Yeah, I know, right?

What was in the video?

It was family stuff, personal stuff,

family issues. Oh shit, no.

How did that happen?

I don't know.

Maybe I was half asleep, half awake.

Yeah, if you don't mind me asking,

like how do you feel like, you know,

strangers gawking at your dirty laundry?

Honestly, I - I'm loving the support.

Tell me, okay.

It's overwhelming and that outweighs all the dumb stuff,

because there were a lot of comments and all that.

Okay.

It feels good to know that you can have that feeling

of being able to help someone.

Yes.

It's like indirectly you're helping people.

That's cool.

Yeah, I think some people connected

with it and it's nice.

That supposed to happen, something like that.

Yeah, I guess.

It's all -- it's all out there now,

there is nothing I can do.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Everything okay?

Sorry.

Just my ex keeps messaging me these nasty messages

day and night.

Ooh, Good start.

I'm sorry; I know you're not supposed to be talking

about exes.

You wanted to know, so I wanted to be honest.

I'm just kidding,

I am not being sarcastic.

It's actually okay, you know,

I like it straightforward, just tell me upfront,

whatever you know.

Are you serious?

You want to know? Yeah, come on.

I am curious actually.

Let me -- let me find you a good one.

Fine. Don't talk to me.

I'm done with you.

And I don't need your sensitive bullshit,

and you are a neurotic loser,

charming, right?

Sorry, I'm late as my mom used to say,

perfection takes time.

You my friend, you could use a "blow job"

while you maybe or definitely "sex on the beach".

I'll leave you two beautiful people.

Just you know, enjoy, don't do anything,

I won't do.

Thank you.

Oh my god.

I'm having so much fun by the way, cheers.

Spare no details.

Tell me everything.

Wow, he was really nice.

We went to this place called Van Gogh is Bipolar

and it was really interesting.

Okay.

Did he plant one on you?

No, but we did have sex on the beach.

But anyways, you know, I don't know.

I do like him but at the same time,

I don't really have a reference.

Yeah, I dated Todd and all these guys,

but Mark is different.

How did it happen with you and Robbie?

Okay, we were at this party in Commonwealth

and my sister had invited me and I saw this guy

standing on the balcony all by himself.

And he wasn't necessarily alone

but he was definitely lonely.

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing all the way over here?

Just minding my business.

Okay, let me try that one again.

My name is Maria De Los Santos.

I'm helping my sister, the hostess,

who I assume invited you or your friends.

I can introduce you to a couple of people.

She says that you're in the music industry.

Thanks, but no thanks.

So, I'm kind of enjoying my solo performance right here.

Ah well then, I guess that makes us out of tune.

Wait.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to sound rude.

Just not a party person, it's not really my scene.

Besides, it is starting to sound like a barnyard from

this distance.

Well, if you come from a quieter pasture,

I presume that cows are quieter.

Fair enough.

It's a company requirement that I attend this party,

rub elbows with the industry folk

between the two of us,

your sister has gotten really pushy

since she started hosting these events.

Yeah well, she actually told me a little bit about you.

Really?

Yeah, she -- she actually thought

that we might hit it off.

Is that what she said?

Wow.

What?

What?

She speaks really highly of you.

She says that you are smart,

funny, sensitive, just enough sarcasm

to tie it all together.

That's quite the grocery list out there,

but careful what you wish for.

Most women will tell you, "Oh, I want a sensitive man",

but few actually do.

What do you mean?

Well, we can get very defensive,

misunderstood, temperamental and when that happens,

it's not eloquent.

I start sounding like a angry teenage boy

and then that makes someone else defensive and hostile,

which makes me defensive and hostile.

Wow, really selling me on this whole sensitive thing.

Wow.

You know, I can tell that you're different,

but maybe give me the benefit of the doubt.

Don't put me in a box labeled with all the rest.

Okay.

Thank you, you are very eloquent.

Start with a walk.

Oh, walk sounds good.

You caught him in flight.

He's been running away ever since mom died

and you tamed him.

Hey, speaking of the devil.

Hello.

I never thought you were coming out of that room.

Just getting some extra work done,

trying to make myself stay up late,

getting ready for the baby.

I was going to make dinner,

do you want to order anything?

No, it's too late, I don't want anything.

What is that?

It's coffee.

Oh, you've had your third cup?

You're only supposed to have two cups a day,

you are pregnant.

No, don't worry, this is my second cup,

it's going to be okay.

What's with the attitude?

Attitude?

There's no attitude Robbie,

everything's fine.

Okay Jess, I need you out.

What?

I'm having a conversation with my wife.

You can't do that to me.

I'm not a child.

It's my house.

Go to your room.

What is wrong with you, you sound like dad.

Robbie. What does it have to...

Robbie.

From now on after 6:00 pm no one has coffee, okay?

Okay, what has gotten into you?

It's bad -- it's bad for the baby's nerves.

It's -- it's bad for your nerves if anything,

everything is fine Rob.

This is my second cup.

Things aren't as perfect in this home

as I imagined they were.

I thought Robbie had figured everything out

when he married Maria. That being sensitive would get

better once you found the right person to shoulder

the emotion with, it seems I was wrong.

If Robbie was still untamed and out of control,

then what hope do any of the rest of us have?

About last night, I'm really sorry.

I didn't mean for that to happen.

You reminded me of dad.

I know.

You said that and that really bothered me.

I don't know why that happened just on edge,

but I hate myself when I do it.

Listen, I know someone that I want you to talk to,

that I think will help you with everything you're

going through, your issues with men.

Okay, I will talk to Maria.

It's not Maria. It's a friend of mine.

She's the one who told me that I was highly sensitive,

that we grew up with this thing where

our parents are superheroes that we couldn't grasp

the concept of our mom or dad failing,

but HSPs like us, there's just a little bit more

impact there.

When you have a really shitty childhood.

I know we're not kids anymore.

We can't change the past, but I think if you talk to her,

she can help you with this whole deal with

Todd and everything else.

Well, she sounds like a smart lady.

We should have coffee all three of us.

That's the thing.

It's probably best if it's just the two of you

because she's a therapist, but she's the best in Manila.

She's talked to a few of my friends.

I asked her if she'd consider talking to you

and she said, yes.

A therapist?

Why are you butting into my business,

telling a complete stranger what I'm going through?

Who are you to talk about strangers.

You just went viral to the whole world,

talking about your issues and mine, too. Remember that.

Hey, you said that you would owe me one.

You really think I need a therapist?

Hey, her name is Gina and she cares.

It's not about the time; it's not about the money.

If I didn't think she could help you,

I wouldn't even bring it up,

just talk to her, please.

Say yes, do it, say yes, say yes, say yes.

I'll think about it.

Oh, you'll think about it.

I'll think about it.

Well, think fast, you are not here that long.

Think about it.

So, I've agreed to see a therapist.

I hope she's not the type that just keeps looking at

the clock and says time's up.

I didn't have the heart to tell Robbie,

but I've actually already seen quite a few

and I don't think it's for me.

My take on all of this is that if someone doesn't

want to learn about you, or your sensitivity,

run, get out of there even if they're nice.

I once had a nice guy compare my sensitivity to diabetes,

saying all I needed was a shot of insulin,

really, a shot of insulin or in his words,

antidepressants.

I agree.

You totally need therapy.

Welcome to my sanctuary.

It's beautiful.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

You don't look at all like Rob.

They say Rob is more like my mom

and I'm more like my dad.

He's an introvert and I'm an extrovert.

Well, then I'm happy to meet the extroverted

half of the pair.

So tell me, tell me anything about yourself.

Okay well, Robbie says I'm a textbook case,

whatever that means, I don't really know.

You mean being a highly sensitive person.

Well, first of all, you have to understand

there's nothing wrong with being a highly sensitive person,

because in fact, highly sensitive people

tend to actually function just as well as the others,

in fact, sometimes better and because I myself,

I'm a highly sensitive person.

Really?

In fact, the only problem there is that when they

go through a very traumatic experience in the past,

they tend to become more anxious and depressed

and end up in hurtful relationships

and have even more problems,

then that's when the work has to start.

That sounds a lot like me.

Look, you have to be able to understand

what you went through to be able to reframe it.

Reframe it?

Yes.

You didn't know you were a sensitive person until when?

Probably recently, maybe a year or so.

You were sensitive your whole life.

And you just didn't know how to factor that

into your childhood.

You see, when highly sensitive children have

traumatic stressful childhoods,

they deal with it in two ways.

They develop an anxious style of relating,

or avoidant style.

Perhaps you can begin by telling me

what your relationship was like with your father.

My father wasn't really around much.

I spent most of my time with my stepmother

or in daycare.

And such as in your case, what you had to do as a child

was hang on to them even if you were angry or resentful,

especially towards your stepmother,

pleasing them, so they don't leave you.

This is like an automatic response.

Your mind tells you, I need to cling on to these people,

no matter how abusive they may have been,

because I don't want to be abandoned.

I don't want to be left behind.

So, no matter what they do,

or no matter what happens, you do everything to

please them and exactly, that's what's happening

to you as an adult.

You are hanging on to a partner you know is

bad for you.

Your mind says there is no one else.

I have to keep him whatever he does.

You stay on in spite of knowing

that it's not good for you.

Well, how about the second one?

The avoidant style.

Those are the kids who think they can do without anybody

and that they don't need anyone

when faced with an abusive parent.

And as adults, they're the same.

Robbie.

Although he was never abused.

Right, but Rob thinks, his father more or less

disappeared for him and told him he was too sensitive.

So, Rob thought it was all his fault.

That's a kind of abuse and on top of that,

Rob experienced far more trauma than you

when your mother died with child.

I am so sorry.

Can we, can we stop?

I have to go.

Is everything okay?

Yes.

It was very nice to meet you.

Very nice to meet you, you know,

you can come and see me anytime.

Thank you very much. And I'm sorry.

Alright, take care.

I had never felt more welcome or at peace in

my entire life, but I could tell the sentiment

was not shared by everyone.

Robbie seemed to be struggling

and I could understand his pain.

More than anything he wanted to give his child

what he never had - a good father,

he was scared that his sensitivity would set him

up for failure.

And he didn't know how to move past that anxiety.

When a strong mood hits an HSP,

it's impossible to make small talk or be social.

You want to get along, but you often end up

a wallflower.

I hated seeing him upset and wanted

so badly to have some miracle cure to fix it.

Yeah, just had to get away for a couple of minutes.

I really love that family.

I don't want to mess anything up,

when it's my turn, you know.

You are doing an amazing job.

Thanks.

Hello, I'm not busy.

Sure.

Okay.

Sounds good.

I'll see you there.

Bye.

Here we go again.

I knew this feeling all too well.

The butterflies that came from being on the edge of

something new, the feeling of wanting to dive

head first and also run away as fast as you can.

I love this feeling and I was terrified of it.

It's just like Robbie said,

one foot on the gas, one on the brake.

But something felt different about Mark,

you see, most people don't understand when I talk

about my sensitivity, they reject me.

It seemed like he wanted to try and that was exciting.

Well, sorry good night.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, Jessica wait.

Yeah.

I have a crazy idea, would you consider

going with me to Palawan,

if you want, it's...

Perhaps, I will consider it.

Perhaps.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, perhaps.

They say laughter is the best medicine,

but whoever said that probably didn't see

the beautiful cliffs, beaches and rivers of Palawan.

This place is paradise.

I just couldn't resist.

Sure a part of me hopes that I'm not moving too

fast with Mark repeating my usual mistakes

over and over again, meeting his friends,

staying in some fancy hotel,

him letting me in like this, trusting me,

means a lot.

This feels different than others

or maybe I'm just too foolish to realize that

this is how they all start.

All I know is that right now,

in this moment, falling in love feels all too easy.

Yay, cheers, cheers, cheers.

Good life.

Ooh to the good life.

To the good life,

I know, I have an idea.

Yes.

Have you heard about 36 Questions?

No. What is that 36 Questions?

It's a good way to get to know someone.

I'll check that on my phone.

Okay, okay, let's play it.

I have it on my phone.

That's just like go around with the question.

Okay, okay.

Okay, I'll ask you.

Oh yeah, that's okay.

Go Mark.

If you were to die this evening

okay, and you couldn't communicate with anyone...

Okay.

What would you regret not telling someone

and why haven't you told her yet?

You know what, it was so much fun today.

Yeah.

The whole day was amazing.

I don't really feel like seeing anybody.

Can I just stay here?

You go you have fun, I know you guys want to go

okay, I just stay here.

Come on, it's going to be fun,

come on let's get up, please.

I know it's gonna be fun.

So you should go, and you should let me

just stay here, please.

Jesse, come on.

just get out of bed, put on something.

Mark, I really -- do you want to,

they want to party with the great Jessica,

the famous Jessica, come on, come on.

Let's go.

You know what, I really want to spend time with you,

but I just don't feel like partying right now.

Is it okay if you go ahead please?

I've been a people pleaser my whole life.

I just want to say no this time, okay?

It was times like this that me being highly sensitive,

so frustrating.

I just wanted to be understood

and it felt like no matter what I said,

my feelings were still such a mystery to others.

I'd like to pass down something to

my highly sensitive friends.

It's okay to want to take time,

to be alone and I am definitely having

the ultimate downtime.

I should know.

It's okay to want to be alone sometimes.

Guys, look at this place, come on.

Palawan. Palawan. It's so beautiful.

Awesome.

And guys, I just want to thank you for

welcoming my girlfriend.

Can I call you my girlfriend?

I'll think about it.

Okay.

Hey guys, can I take a quick vlog?

Hey guys we would like to thank Palawan for being

our love nest this weekend.

Thank you Palawan.

Thank you so much.

You're in love.

What do you know about love?

Why, because you say it?

My dad didn't say I love you to my mom, to me.

You don't need to hear "I love",

while you think...

So, it's nice to see you back Jessica.

You ran away the other day like a scared rabbit.

What happened?

Okay, so I get it.

I'm the anxious type and I cling to men and...

I think you got it just about right.

What do I do?

You know, oftentimes highly sensitive people,

Are thought to be the wrong ones,

that they're the ones who need to change,

because they're not typical.

So, when they're in a partnership,

and with a partner who puts them down....

Screw you, you, you, you are a curse,

all right, you are bad energy.

They have no safe place.

They have to create one for themselves.

At least I care about something more than

just myself.

You know what, I tell sensitive women in

particular to take time off from men.

They need to heal.

They need to reframe the past.

Create a lifestyle that suits them

and not that of their partners.

Once you build your own person,

you'll be surprised with the good men that you'll start

attracting and then you'll start scaring

away the bad ones.

What if the good ones don't want me?

What if I let the good one slip away?

Then, all the more reason that you have to build

a life for yourself that you love.

Travel, man or no man, deep friendships,

you know what I tell my highly sensitive friends?

You know what I recommend

they do? meditation.

Are you saying I should take a power nap?

Well, it's beyond a power nap.

I like to call it my daily quiet zone.

The ultimate downtime sanctuary.

I do it diligently.

It's worth a try.

And maybe through that you'll see the light.

My therapist told me to have downtime,

quality friendships and to try to see the light.

There was one person I knew who could help me

with all three.

And She had just arrived at Manila.

So I just went to my therapist to talk about

Mark and Palawan.

It's girl time.

No boys.

Lizzie and I are polar opposites.

She is not an HSP.

Smells like Nanna's feet.

And yet we get along great.

Also did I mention that she is amazing

and hilarious. I'll eat anything.

What's wrong?

How did they do this and display it

this way it's so inhumane.

Girl, it's a pig.

It could very well pass as my brother

and I'm over it.

I'm moving on.

Let's go.

I'll be honest, I don't think I'd be remembering

anyone's names tonight except for this guy.

Oh wow, you might want to watch it Jess.

Here she might steal your little crush from you.

I heard a lot about you.

I'm through.

Don't believe her.

I didn't think anything.

I swear I did not say anything to her.

Rob, Rob, Rob, don't worry,

you don't have to be jealous.

Oh my God.

I know you've always had a crush on...

Oh my God that party was popping.

I can't believe you are leaving me.

I know, we are in a good place.

I'm so happy for you.

Can I just remind you about this smart guy,

I can see that Mark loves you

and he's coming from a good place but guard your heart.

I don't want to see you get hurt again.

And never set your eyes on that vile, disgusting,

good for nothing narcissistic Hollywood playboy,

Todd.

I promise to you.

After posting my vlogs, I loved reading the comments.

It was amazing to see that there was a community of

people out there who were like me and understood

what I was going through.

I also loved that I could help in some small way by

sharing my experience.

Oh my God, she is spewing her guts, so emotional.

I was scrolling through the comments of my latest

video when something serious caught my eye.

It was Mark and he was being sarcastic about

my sensitivity.

Before my posts, he had asked me to move in with him

and I couldn't answer right away.

I said, I had to think about it,

and he seemed to take that as a rejection.

It wasn't a no, just not a yes.

I knew he was upset, but to take it out like this,

I mean, he wrote about our private moments,

and all the ways I had let him down.

Why would he do that to me?

He knew that I had limits and he was now using them

against me.

If you are mad or hurt, that I turned you down

then you should have just said it to my face.

It's not fair for you to make unilateral decisions

about us, although it was sweet, and just expect me

to answer right then and there.

It's simple for me.

Why do you have to make things complicated?

Simple to you?

My home is in San Francisco,

my family, my friends, my father lives there.

And now I have Mila.

Okay, then we can make them move here.

You know, you're a writer.

You can write anywhere, you can make friends anywhere.

I can't move because of my work.

Okay, it might be a bit complicated,

but how will I know what you're even thinking?

You know if I don't ask you don't tell me.

For someone who writes so much,

you have a real problem expressing yourself in person.

Are you kidding me?

Isn't it obvious how hard this decision

is for me to make?

Do I have to spell it out for you?

You either spit it out or you just shut down.

I told you this is who I am.

Yeah and that's another thing,

but maybe I shouldn't even be saying this,

but I just feel like this whole highly sensitive

thing is just a crutch for you.

You use it as an excuse like a family

emergency at work.

Maybe you don't understand me.

Maybe you were just trying to get me to bed.

What, are you even feeling yourself right now,

just be rational, you are being neurotic,

you are making the butterflies nervous.

You know what, for someone who claims to be

such a good listener, you don't hear me at all.

You know what, I think you're stubborn and you're a...

A what?

Nevermind.

Go ahead.

Just say it.

Whiner, you are a highly sensitive whiner.

Is that what you think of me?

That's what you really think of me?

I can't believe you.

Sometimes you think you know

how badly someone can hurt you and yet,

it always managed to surprise me.

Jesse, what's wrong?

What happened?

It made all the difference that Gina understood.

I cried my heart out. But some place deep inside,

I also got it.

I think Mark and I broke up.

Ah listen,

the most important thing is to get past

those knee jerk reactions.

And listen, always take the other person's

perspective into consideration.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I needed someone like her when I was growing up not

what I got and not what I'm getting now.

Are you okay?

I gotta run, I am so sorry.

Thank you.

No -- no, I am fine, thank you so much for

taking the time.

No problem.

It was almost fate that I met her

and Mark at the same time.

Baby, Baby, it's gonna be okay.

Okay so sir, can you please stay there, sir?

When did the pain start ma'am?

can we just check, ma'am ....

just check ma'am.

Oh,....

Doctor, please help her, she is in a lot of pain.

We are calling the security.

You are just not helping us

can you please stay outside?

I am not going anywhere.

I'm not leaving my wife.

Stay outside please sir, we will do everything.

Baby, baby, I am going to be outside, okay?

Baby.

Rob, no, no, no.

Ah ah ah.

Check the vital signs.

Nurse, do the internal examination.

Okay.

Ma'am we will do the internal examination,

just check ma'am.

No, no, no, ...God.

Ah, ah.

What happened?

What happened?

I told Robbie that everything would be okay,

that Maria was strong,

that she would get through this.

The truth is that I wasn't sure,

but we both needed to hear and believe that now.

Sir Robbie,

Maria will be fine.

You can see her in a few minutes,

and I am sure you have realize she had

a miscarriage and lost the baby.

It's a natural thing.

Don't worry, it will be okay.

I am so sorry, I am so sorry,

I am so sorry.

It was deep and profound sadness

unlike anything I had ever known.

Robbie had felt this pain before when our mother died

trying to give us a sibling at 43,

feeling it again.

Hello.

Dad.

Jessica, everything okay?

No, it's not okay.

Maria, Maria lost the baby and Robbie is going insane

I just wanted to make you guys closer,

closer to each other, I need your help.

I can't do this alone.

Dad.

Yeah, Jessica I am still here.

No, you are not here.

You are not here.

Do you realize what happened after four months,

that's what we get, "that happens",

four fucking months.

Stop yelling please.

Okay, we can talk about this,

you don't need to start packing right now.

Come on.

Everything they said,

everything that they wanted us to do, the doctors,

everything that they told us we did it.

We did it, yes.

You took care of yourself.

I did.

Everything that you were supposed to do, you did.

Did it, Rob calm down.

Please just be quiet for two seconds.

Okay.

Alright, no of course,

we didn't do anything wrong, Rob.

We just ....

Four months, the four months,

that's what's gonna happen.

Losing a baby is always going to be hard.

Even at the hands of really natural causes,

even at this stage of growth,

it's still pretty common,

but maybe our grief for our little guy has been enough.

Don't you get it?

Don't you get it?

You've -- you've always wanted a family,

but I'm not the one who could do that for you.

I tried and I couldn't do it,

no and I'm not going through that again.

Please help her, she is in a lot of pain.

I am not going anywhere, I am not leaving my wife.

Rob, Rob, come on, please.

Stop, stop, stop, stop stop stop please stop packing.

What are you doing?

I love you, I love you.

I love you too.

So ..

I want you to find someone

who's gonna give you everything you deserve.

I found you, I want you Rob.

Hey listen, I am not good enough.

I'm not good enough.

I can't do it.

I couldn't do it.

Rob, Rob, and I tried and I couldn't do it.

Rob, just please calm down.

Okay, we can talk about this.

Okay, just give us two -- two seconds to talk about this.

Please.

Can you just,

okay, okay.

Look Rob, we can try this again.

Something happened to me

watching you go through that inside,

something that happened

and I'm not gonna let myself go through that again.

I don't want you to go through that again.

You! everything is you.

What do you think happened to me?

Rob please. Nope, just nope.

Can you just, look at me for two seconds please,

the things that I have to go through,

the things that I put up with it.

Everything just to make sure that you were okay.

And I was not okay, and I did that for you,

so please do this for me.

You don't have to go.

Rob...

I left Maria.

And just like that, he was gone.

I feel paralyzed.

The worst part is that I understand him,

I would need to run away too,

every time you look at her face,

you feel her pain and feel responsible.

What would Gina say?

She would call it dissociation.

He locked away the terrible trauma.

Then he saw Maria at the hospital in horrible pain

and unborn child and he had to run from it.

Shut it away too, he couldn't connect the dots,

see the link, but I can get him to.

I can do it.

Tell me everything about our mother.

There are so many different kinds of love in the world.

And while we talk a lot about romantic love,

I want to focus on something that doesn't get us much play

and that sibling love.

My brother never had a choice on having me

as his little sister,

but he loved me and loves me just the same.

We don't even need to talk about it

and we barely touch the mushy stuff.

But it's there's and that's real love.

There is so much that happened this last week

between the hospital and my brother,

Robbie's grief,

meanwhile, no sign of Mark.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I'm so tired.

I'm exhausted.

Robbie and Maria are better.

And believe it or not, I helped.

Sometimes we take that for granted

our own inner strength. Our highly sensitive depth.

And how that can just show up when we need it.

And we can also take for granted

just someone being around.

This is my advice to you,

whatever you hold valuable

don't ever take it for granted.

Jess, is that you?

Yeah, I got it.

Is Robbie Home?

Dad.

Don't worry about Mila, she's in safe hands.

I'm sorry. Come in.

Hey Jess, who is it?

Can we talk?

Yeah.

I'm sorry Rob about all those years.

I appreciate you invited us to your graduation,

your wedding.

Maria, she's a wonderful woman,

but all those bits before that,

just so sorry.

I mean, I guess I could have tried to understand

what you were going through after mom died.

You mean marrying Sarah?

We were never crazy in love meaning

how could I be, not after your mom died, you know,

and I tried to warn Sarah.

I knew I'd have to throw myself into my work to try to

stop the sorrow. Stop it or avoid it? Yeah,

and that was another mistake I made.

Yeah, I heard.

The whole avoiding thing, I'm not doing any better.

I even got labeled avoidant.

You know, whenever I looked at you or Jessica,

I'd see your mother.

We are both like her in so many more ways.

You know, I thought I wanted a different kind of son

and you grew up knowing that.

I didn't try to hide that, I wanted to change you,

I wanted to wipe away that sensitivity.

I didn't like it when you were weak,

when you were shy.

You were like my project

when your mom was alive.

I wanted to toughen you up and make you into a man

I thought that would be really good for you.

You know, what hurts me now,

I used to think there was something the matter

with you, but now -- now I think there's something

the matter with me.

I just don't understand all that sensitivity thing.

I wasn't born with it so I never can.

I guess that's what I deserve, you know,

for making you suffer all those years.

There's no shame in just being the person

you are born to be.

You can have differences and still be equally as good.

I think sometimes having differences can even help

and that's what I learned from Maria.

I'm really glad you're here.

I need your family.

My family needs you.

I love you, dad.

I'm gonna start to bug you about a lot of things.

Yeah.

And the first one, I'm going to start with the smoking.

Robbie, I might even give up drinking, you know.

Oh wow, you really mean this, don't you.

I love you and there is nothing you can do about it.

Hey, promise me something, you'll engage the brain

before putting your mouth into gear, especially

when it goes to men.

I love you.

Okay my turn now.

Maria.

You know that family means everything to me huh,

and the fact that you were able to bring Robbie here

with his dad.

It means everything to me.

Take care Jessica.

You know what's funny is you came to

the Philippines to find healing for yourself,

but really, you just healed us.

Come on, come on, squeeze it,

squeeze it tight.

Hey, what's up Mark?

Hey Rob.

Hey man, I'm sorry, I couldn't be there for you guys.

I'm sorry. You are always there, man.

I appreciate that. Thank you, man.

I appreciate.

Oh, I'm sorry, dad.

This is my friend Mark.

Mark, my dad.

Hey Mark.

It's good to meet you.

Hoped, it would?

Really.

Nice to meet you sir. Yes, I do.

So dad, coffee on you.

On me?

Coffee, I would love some coffee.

Alright I don't mean I think.

Love you guys.

So, I am sorry we had that fight and I just thought

I'd be the last person you want to see.

You're definitely the last person I'd expected to see,

but I'm happy.

I am happy, I saw you before I left.

Can you remember when you asked me back in Palawan,

when we did 36 Questions,

the thing that I would regret most, not telling someone.

I remember, but you -- you never told us.

I love you.

I have something for you.

I usually don't get my Hollywood ending,

where the guy runs to the airport with flowers to

confess his love for me, but for once,

I'm not going to think I don't deserve it.

I'm not sure how I feel about Mark

or if we could ever make it work,

but I'm really happy that we shared our time together.

I'm heading back to San Francisco

with the new outlook.

I missed you a lot.

Baby Mila, Mila.

Hi baby,

you look so pretty.

You look so pretty.

Come here, what's this?

Thank your dad for letting me take care of Mila

that was a treat, better than therapy.

I thought you would love to see her welcoming you home.

Definitely, I love you, I missed you.

Hi guys.

So, I'm back home in my house.

I can't believe this all started with an accidental

vlog post and now this is an intentional

sending of love to all my sensitive friends.

I had the opportunity to get to know myself

and love myself more and I hope you guys

all share this with me

and have your own experience of that growth

and acceptance that love for you

and your sensitivity as a whole.

And I just want to give a special shout out to Mark;

I want you to know that I'm thinking of you

and never say never.

Come in.

May I come in?

Hi.

Hi,

what -- what are you doing here?

I thought you were in LA?

Yeah.

Just for the weekend, visiting friends.

It's actually the first time I've been back,

I have been so busy with the new job

and then finally get to be the boss.

Wow, that's great.

I'm -- I'm happy for you.

I think about you all the time.

I mean, I'm sorry about what happened,

but -- Todd -- hold on,

I still love you and I think you still love me.

I mean yeah, I know about the other guy.

All right, but he's -- he's there,

and I'm here and I know you,

don't deny that.

I've known you longer and better.

I mean, I know we fall apart,

but we've always come back together,

haven't we?

Jess, can you ever forgive me?

Of course, I can.

Todd, you know, when I first met you I,

I needed someone to take care of and needed someone

to take care of me also, and I thought that

that was all I deserved.

Even if you thought that I needed fixing

and I was defective.

You're gonna hold that against me?

No, not at all.

I mean, I let it go.

I just want to be a new person now.

Right, oh, same, you know,

we can have a new start.

Yes, but not together.

Excuse me.

Todd, I don't need fixing anymore

and you don't need to fix me because I'm not broke.

You know, I thought before that my sensitivity was a curse,

but now I know it's a gift and I understand that now

and now I know who I am.

I am so sorry; you came all the way here to hear this.

I hope that maybe we can still be friends

and still get along, Todd.

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