Original subtitles

(JERSEY GROOVE PLAYING)

¶ You gotta sing

¶ You, you You gotta say it now

¶ You gotta sing

¶ You, you You gotta say it now

¶ You gotta sing

¶ You, you You gotta say it now

¶ You gotta sing

¶ You, you You gotta say it now

¶ J-E-R-S-E-Y

¶ Some will flop but never shock the type of girls

¶ That they know, complete with eye shadow, lip gloss and funky hairdo

¶ Gum-smackin' females with an attitude

¶ Out to have a really good time

¶ Lookin' for the right guy

¶ For the one don

¶ He is somethin' into man-trappin'

¶ But all they're looking for is "Mister Make-It-Happen"

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ You gotta say it now, Jersey groove

¶ You gotta say it now

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ You gotta say it now

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ You gotta say it now

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ You gotta say it now

¶ Gotta give it to 'em, they know what they want

¶ They're straight up, never puttin' on a front

¶ Jersey girls, they got a lotta heart

¶ Down-to-earth girls don't play the part of Miss high class

¶ And they ain't the arrogant type

¶ Prissy prima donnas with all the hype

¶ Nope, they're not going out like that

¶ No tanning salons and no body wraps

¶ Girls hangin' together with the true one

¶ Not one minute you're in, and the next, you're gone

¶ It's cool to know that you're down with the scene

¶ Ain't nothin' wrong with chasin' a dream

¶ Every-everybody wants some other

¶ A better life for themselves

¶ It doesn't matter whether you're from Manhattan or Hackensack

¶ You can make it happen and that's a fact

¶ You gotta

¶ You, you, you gotta

¶ Say it now

¶ You gotta

¶ You, you, you gotta

¶ Say it now, Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ You gotta say it now

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ You gotta say it now

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ Say it now, Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ You gotta say it now

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ Jersey groove

¶ They got that Jersey groove

¶ You, you gotta

¶ You, you You gotta say it now

¶ You gotta

¶ You, you You gotta say it now

¶ You gotta

¶ You, you, you gotta

¶ Say it now ¶

MONICA: Destroy the Earth.

Destroy the Earth.

Destroy the Earth.

Destroy the Earth.

MONICA: Destroy the Earth.

Coming in for a landing.

Destroy the Earth.

JASON: Hey!

Gimme that.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?

I didn't do it on purpose.

Yes, you did.

(GASPING) No. Jason, we don't hit.

You got to use your words.

Come on, I want to hear you use your words. Go ahead.

I think what you did was wrong.

Friends don't do that to each other.

Sorry.

Can you guys shake hands?

Oh.

You guys are good, huh?

All right, now, I'm out of here, and I want you to play nicely, ok?

Ok. All right.

Bye.

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

(SONG PLAYING ON STEREO)

¶ Your love

¶ Is my trip to the stars

¶ Even Venus and Mars

What do you think, pretty face?

Am I dynamite in this, or what?

You actually bought that?

Yeah, I actually bought it.

You think they give shirts like this away?

It took $46. Hey, if you don't like it, who cares?

Don't look.

No. I... I... I like it.

I like it.

You do? You're sure?

Otherwise I could take it back.

No, I'm positive.

It's great on you, Pop. They're your colors.

Yeah, that's what I figured. The colors.

It makes me look like a young Tony Bennett.

Only handsomer.

¶ I want to spend all my days with you ¶

And thinner.

Hey, Pop, my sink's still leaking.

Can you stop over?

Now that you're such a big shot

living alone, fix your own sink.

At my age, I should be living alone.

No, no, at your age you should be...

What?

Nothing.

What?

I didn't say anything. What did I say?

Don't start with me, ok?

I'm not starting. You're starting.

But, um,

seeing that you brought it up,

there's this guy I met. His name's Gino.

Terrific guy. He's apprentice plumber.

But I'm telling you, this kid's got a head on his shoulders.

He's gonna have his own shop someday.

Does he speak English yet?

He's learning.

That's good, Pop. Keep 'em coming.

So, uh, want to stay and play poker with us tonight?

I can't. I'm meeting the girls.

How come you're always meeting the girls?

How come you're never meeting a guy?

And how come my sink leaks when my father's a plumber, huh?

See you, Pop.

Yeah, see you.

COOKIE: You look good tonight, Ange.

ANGIE: I do, right?

DOT: Yeah, I like that shirt.

I got this at Rassini's.

You did? How much?

$13.99.

No way.

I can't believe you guys shop there.

What's wrong with Rassini's?

Nothin', if you like cheap clothes.

They have the same stuff as Stardrift's.

They have the same exact stuff, Cookie.

You guys, you don't know how to shop.

And you probably don't have any money in the bank.

No, I don't. Everything I own is on me.

You shop the way you shop, and then we'll shop the way we shop.

Wholesale

BOTH: Or no sale.

You're so cheap.

Mmm.

I told her no French fries. I'm on a diet.

You hear that, Toby? Angie's on a diet.

No French fries, but a half a barbequed chicken's all right.

0h, you're so special, Cook.

Did I tell you how nice your roots are looking?

Cook, the mustard.

What?

It's all over you.

Put, put, put club soda on that.

Ange, you know what club soda gets out? Club soda.

No, it works. Club soda works.

Miss, could we have club soda here, please?

Jeez, Ange, I don't think enough people heard you.

Excuse me. What is wrong, Tobe?

Every Friday night we go to the same place, with the same people.

We eat the same garbage food.

(MUSIC PLAYING IN BACKGROUND)

The last guy I made love to forgot my name.

There is something desperately wrong with my life.

Come on, Toby, you'll feel better in the morning.

If you don't, you just give it a couple of days,

and then something really bad'll happen,

and then you'll forget all about this feeling.

Is that supposed to make me feel better, Dottie?

It always works for me.

TOBY: Ange, see this guy?

Who is this?

I don't know. Just some guy.

But there's thousands of them in Manhattan, and none in Jersey.

This is the kind of guy

that doesn't eat in front of the sports page, Cookie.

This is the kind of guy who remembers your name.

He doesn't forget your anniversary.

You know, he writes you love notes.

He plans special things for you to do.

I love the way these guys look at these girls

like they're the most unique things on the planet.

That's 'cause they are.

They're 5'11", and they weigh 100 pounds.

So what?

I want someone to look at me that way.

Toby, would you get real?

These guys are totally out of our league.

They go out with, like, model-actress types.

If you were an uptown kind of guy, would you want one of us?

Depends if you want a good blowjob or not.

That's not what I'm talking about.

Tobe, we know what you're talking about.

What we are talking about is real.

What you are talking about is nuts.

Don't worry. He'll show up.

I don't think he's gonna show here, Dottie.

I think I gotta go find him.

Hey, Toby, I know where I'd be if I was a cool guy.

Yeah, where?

Inside a cool girl.

(LAUGHING)

Aren't you guys sick of guidos running around

in guinea tees, driving Camaros?

Doesn't that make you sick?

No.

What do you want, Tobe? You want some guy from Manhattan

driving a Mercedes or something?

You think that's gonna make you feel better?

Yeah, maybe.

So go cruise a car lot.

Yeah, while you're at it, you can polish your fender.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Maybe I will.

Come on, you're not serious.

I'll do something.

She's serious.

What's wrong with meeting a guy that way?

Well, nothin'.

Not if you're the most beautiful girls in the world,

which we are not.

(LAUGHS)

Actually, maybe I am.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

MAN: Those are the interest charges we discussed.

MAN: Hello.

May I, uh, help you?

No, I'm just looking around. Thanks.

MAN: You're gonna love this car.

(WHISPERS) This is stupid.

I've seen enough. Thank you.

(MEN CHATTERING)

Stupid idea, but I'm over it now.

Ok.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Don't do this to me, all right?

Goddamn it!

(ENGINE STARTING)

Thank you.

(HORN HONKS)

Ooh!

Excuse me, can you move your car forward so I can get by?

Hello?

Can you move your car forward so I can get by?

Sure. Sure, no problem.

(HORN HONKS)

No, no! Forward! Forward!

Sorry. Sorry.

Never mind. Never mind. I'll... I'll go around you.

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

¶ Don't want your car, babe

¶ I don't want your money

Ok.

¶ There's somethin' 'bout you that soothes me, honey

¶ If I can't have you

¶ Don't want nobody else

Excuse me!

¶ My heart is jumpin' ¶

Could you please tell me how to get to the, uh...

What? I'm... I'm not from around here. I don't know.

Oh, shit. Oh...

Oh!

Shit.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GASPING)

Oh.

Are you ok, huh? Are you ok?

Come on, come on. You sure? You sure?

Sit down, sit down, sit down until you're really sure.

Come on, breathe. Breathe. You all right?

Yeah. I'm all right. You ok?

I'm fine.

Oh, Jesus... I can't even look. I can't even look.

I'm sorry.

That's all you can say is, "I'm sorry"?

I'm... I'm really sorry.

Do you have any idea what kind of damage you just did?

My insurance'll cover it.

Except I don't have any insurance anymore since they raised my rates.

How about I pay you, like, $20?

$30. $30 a month, you know.

$30 a month? $30 a month?

What are you talking about?

It's a brand-new car.

It's supposed to last me 20 years, and in... And in 10 minutes,

you turn it into a piece of shit.

All right. You don't have to keep screaming at me, you know. I said I was sorry.

You're fine, right? No broken bones, no pains anywhere,

no internal bleeding, anything like that?

I'm just so embarrassed.

Oh.

Where are you going?

I have to get it towed, don't I?

Don't you want to exchange phone numbers?

(GROANS)

Hi.

What are you? What are you, some kind of nightmare or something?

I stayed 'cause I felt bad, ok?

Can I give you a ride?

In the car with you? What are you, crazy? I'd be dead in 5 minutes.

I can drive carefully.

No, thanks. I called a cab.

You're not from Jersey, are you?

No, why?

Because I was gonna say,

you'd know that cabs in Jersey take 4 or 5 times longer

than they say it's gonna take.

It's a big problem we have here in Jersey.

But it's fine if you want to wait.

That's no problem.

I've got the afternoon free. I'm gonna hang with you.

(HUMMING)

Ah, what are you looking at?

You. Why?

I want to know who you are, what do you do, stuff like that.

I'm a guy. I got a job.

I had a car. I had a beautiful car.

You completely destroyed it.

Anything else you want to know?

I figured you had a job. What kind?

Just a job.

Is it a good job?

Of course it's a good job, or I wouldn't be doing it, would I?

What kind of job is it?

What do you do all day? Where do you go, huh?

Graphics.

Graphics.

I sell graphics.

See, now that's very interesting.

Graphics. What exactly is that?

Printing.

Printing.

I sell printing.

Oh, that's good for a start.

What else?

What else what? Ow.

What else do you do for fun, friends, family, that kind of stuff?

Ok,

are you hungry or thirsty or anything?

Look, I'm not hungry. I'm not thirsty.

I want you to keep driving.

Keep your eyes on the road. I don't want any more accidents.

I'm not hungry or thirsty either.

Lousy idea. It was a bad idea.

How about maybe some gum?

As like a mood-lifter or something?

No. I feel like we've started out on the wrong foot...

The wrong foot?

Yeah. Wrong foot?

You destroyed my $70,000 car.

Do you understand that? Yes.

We've got off on a really bad foot.

Ok. Maybe we should just listen to some music, you know?

It'll mellow us out.

(HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)

(HONKING HORN)

Just pull over. Pull over. Fine, yeah. Great, great. Great. I'll walk from here.

No, no, I want to take you right to your door.

Wait! Wait!

I need your name and your address, so I can pay you back.

Save your money, ok? Go to driving school.

No, I gotta pay you back.

(SIGHING)

There you go.

How about we never do it again?

Call me with the damages.

Toby Mastallone, Hackensack.

One "t," two "l's"!

See you, Sal.

Yes. Yes. All right.

TOBY: Guys.

COOKIE: Where have you been?

We had to let ourselves in.

I found him.

Who?

TOBY: Him. Mr. Make-It-Happen.

Mr. Sal Torme.

He's Italian?

He's in trouble, is what he is.

Where'd you meet him?

A Mercedes dealership.

Get out of here.

I swear to God, Cook. I felt so pathetic.

I thought, "What am I doing here?" You know?

And then I saw him. My heart started pounding so fast

that I could hardly restrain myself.

Is he cute?

Ah! Oh, my god. He is gorgeous.

He has dark hair and big blue eyes.

So, what did you do? I mean, you just, like, walked up to him and said,

"I'm looking for a gorgeous, rich guy, and you're it"?

I chased him down and wrecked his car.

Oh, my god.

You got into a car accident?

Just a little one. I ran his brand-new Mercedes into a bus bench.

A Mercedes? He must be rich.

Who cares? He's just the greatest guy in the entire world.

Did he ask you out?

Not yet, but I'm sure he's thinking about it right now.

Thanks, Bernie.

I'm sorry, baby. Go ahead.

What were you saying?

TARA: Sal, what are you doing?

I'm working.

Could you take a break and come play again?

SAL: Oh, jeez, you've asked me this every day.

I can't, honey. I gotta work.

I know, but I was just thinking about

what you were doing to me this morning

and how good it felt.

I want you to do it again.

You know, Tara, you keep talking to me like this,

and I'm not gonna make it till tonight.

And, Sal,

I seem to have lost my panties.

And, um, I was wondering if you'd found them?

Could you check inside your jacket pocket?

(SIGHING)

Bye, Sal.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, Pop.

BENNIE: What?

When you first met mom, did you instantly know she was it?

What's to know?

We got along, we got married. Simple.

Yeah, that's simple, ok.

Toby, remember that, uh, that fellow I mentioned, Gino?

I, uh...

I gave him your number.

You gave him my number?

Look, just talk to the guy.

If you don't like him, then...

Pop, I met someone.

You met a guy?

Yeah.

No kidding, pretty face. What's his name?

Sal Torme.

Torme?

Sounds Italian. Is he Italian?

I think so.

So when can I meet him?

Well, we haven't exactly connected yet.

What exactly does that mean, you haven't exactly connected?

I haven't really talked to him.

Well, then how you do you know you're gonna go out with him?

I don't know I'm gonna go out with him. I want to go out with him.

Has he given you any indication

that he wants to go out with you?

No.

I'm not exactly his type.

I have to make a few changes.

Changes? What are you talking about?

Who does this guy think he is?

Let him change.

Pop, I want to be different.

I want to improve myself.

Toby, you see this apple?

You see this banana?

This apple knows it's an apple,

and this banana knows it's a banana.

You know what I'm talking about?

No.

If you want to improve yourself,

if you want to take classes, get a new hairdo, that's fine.

But you're still you.

Like...

Like that wall.

If you were to put a coat of blue paint on that wall,

that wall wouldn't think it was a waterfall.

Otherwise it'd be a dumb-as-shit wall.

Now you know what I'm talking about?

(CAR HORNS HONKING)

Hey.

SAL: What's up, chief?

You're up.

(PHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE)

What are you talking about?

I'm giving you Smith and Smith.

What, are you kidding me?

No, I'm not kidding.

That's Marvin's. He's been working on it for, like, 6 months.

So he's been warming it up for you.

Aw, come on, Mitch, you can't do that to the poor bastard.

Working it costs money, Sal.

Closing it makes money.

You'd like to make money, right?

Of course I like making money. I'm not... That's not my point.

I know you like to make money.

Come on, Mitch. You can't do that.

He's got a family.

The elevator's going up, Sal.

You get on, you punch any floor you want. It's up to you.

You with me on this?

Good.

Straighten that tie.

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

(BELL TINKLING)

I, uh, just wanted to give him my number at work

in case he tried to call me at home, 'cause I'm hardly ever there.

You know, I'm pretty busy most of the time,

and I know a guy like Mr. Torme is pretty busy, so I figured

why waste the guy's time by dialing a number I'm not even at?

I'm out of here.

Sal? Yeah.

Do you know a Toby Mastallone?

Hello? Hello?

Mastallone. 1 "t," 2 "l's."

No. No.

Tell her I got hit by a bus.

I'm dead. Anything.

We'll get back to you. Ok, hon?

CHILD: Toby, come here.

CUSTOMER: Kind of like this?

COOKIE: Hon, unless you want to walk around

with a fan blowing out your hair all the time, it'll never do this.

So you can't do this for me?

No, I can do this for you.

Your mother can do this for you, even your father can do this for you,

but your hair still will not do this, ok?

Face the news.

(BELL ON DOOR TINKLING)

(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

Cookie, I need to borrow that outfit you bought on Saturday.

Toby, forget it. I haven't even worn it.

I need it, Cookie. I've gotta go see him.

He's my only chance.

Who, Mr. Millionaire? Mr. "Make-It-Happen"?

Let him buy you a dress.

Cookie, please.

If you could only see his eyes, oh...

Toby, I hope you know what you're doing.

I'm telling you.

You stain it, you stink it, or you stretch it,

you own it.

I love you. Bye.

Get out of here.

So you really won't do this for me?

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Sounds good, good.

Damn right it sounds good.

MAITRE D': May I help you, please?

So it's not chicken feed?

No.

(LAUGHING)

No, I... I found my... my party. Thank you, anyway.

That works for me. I'm solvent.

So if you win, you win.

If you lose, you still win. You can't lose.

(CHUCKLING)

It works, you know?

Hi. Oh, no, sit.

I... Your secretary told me that you would be here.

She did?

Well, not exactly. I went to your office,

and I saw the calendar on her desk.

And so I figured since I'm in the city,

and since I owed you money, what the hell, right?

This is Tony.

Toby. Toby.

Kind of a hard name to remember.

This is Mr. Stevens.

Hi, I'm Gabe. Just...just call me Gabe.

Hi, Gabe. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Listen, would you like to join us?

Oh, are you sure it's ok? No, I don't think...

Sure it's ok. Right, guys? Sure. come on.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

Oh, listen, you have a...a price tag sticking out here.

Oh, just pull it off.

No, no, no, no. I'll stick it in here.

You might want to return it.

Is that better? That's better.

God, just when you were thinking you're looking the best that you're gonna get,

it can't get any better,

it's, like, a price tag sticking out, you run your stockings.

Sometimes the whole thing goes haywire, right?

(LAUGHING)

Get rid of her.

Love the dress. Thank you.

Can I talk to you for a second?

What are you doing here?

First, you destroy my car, now you're trying to destroy my life?

Sal and I had a little bit of a fender bender.

Fender bender.

And he was more concerned about me being ok

than he was about his car.

I mean, how many people do you know that are that understanding?

Yeah.

Gabe, you have got a very special person here, working for you.

GABE: That's great.

(GABE LAUGHING)

Listen, do you want something to eat?

Sure, if that would be ok.

Are you kidding me? It's no problem. Right, Mitchell?

(FINGER SNAPS)

The lady would like a menu.

Thank you.

And take this back, would you? It's absolutely ice-cold.

Make sure that it's decaf.

You know, I was once a waitress,

and I have to tell you it is very difficult to keep the coffee hot.

Because first of all, you put it into a cold cup, right?

And then, second of all, you're walking through the air conditioning,

so you could just imagine, right?

We could all imagine.

Well, I wasn't a very good waitress.

GABE: Oh, come on.

I can't imagine you being bad at anything.

You should see her drive.

That's very sweet of you.

Listen, have you ever tried grilled swordfish?

No, but I'm always into trying something new.

GABE: What was her name again? Tabby?

Toby. Toby, Toby.

You like the name? See if you can get her number.

Hey, Sal.

CHAUFFER: There we go, gentlemen.

What's this?

My first installment.

You're gonna get one every month, just like I promised.

And here's my number, in case I forget a payment.

You can call me or contact me.

$30. You don't have to do this.

My insurance is gonna cover it.

But they'll raise your rates.

I've been a high-risk since I was 15.

How much damage did I do?

You don't want to know.

Yeah, I do.

You don't want to know.

Yeah, I do. I feel horrible.

$6,300 and change.

Really? That much, huh?

How about I just pay the change?

Look, all I want you to do is you stay on your side of the road,

I'll stay on my side of the road.

You know, hopefully we won't, uh...

We won't run into each other.

No, but you keep my number, all right?

I'm... I'm kind of high-risk, too.

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

MITCH: Sal, come on.

I gotta go.

See ya.

Bye. Nice meeting you.

(CAR DOOR SLAMS)

(BIRDS TWITTERING)

I can't believe I'm this late.

Don't want to be late for mommy and daddy.

Sweetheart, I'm not keeping you away from them.

I'm keeping them away from you.

So where is this party?

It's at my grandmother's house.

Oh, back to Scarsdale, huh?

Jesus, Sal.

I don't want to put you through that.

No, you're right.

I'd probably have a horrible time.

I just don't think you'd have anything in common.

You'd find them terribly boring.

Baby, I'm already late.

So you'll be later.

(BOTH MOANING)

(SIGHING)

(DIAL TONE SOUNDING)

Hello, operator?

Um, I don't think this phone is working.

So could you call back and...and check it for me? Thank you.

(RINGING)

Hello? Yes, it's working fine. Thank you.

(SIGHS)

¶ Ooh-ooh

¶ Yeah ¶

So, Dot, you can't take one of the kittens?

I got 6 cats at home.

I'm allergic, Ange. I told you.

They got medicine for that now.

Tobe, you ok?

I've been sitting by the phone

waiting for him to call. It's pathetic.

I love men.

He's gonna call you, you'll see.

I want him to call so bad, I can taste it.

(PEOPLE WHOOPING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

WOMAN: Babs, that's them! Babs, that's them!

Open up, open up, ok, come on.

ANGIE: Dottie, you and Larry look so beautiful.

DOT: I just wish he was here for our anniversary.

I don't even know where he is tonight.

COOKIE: Dottie, I told you not to marry a trucker.

ANGIE: ...all the luck in the world, and I'm happy for you...

Greg looks so hot in the tux.

I mean, he is just so hot. You know, he's...

He's just hot.

...and I'll baby-sit.

See, I mean, I don't look good.

No wonder he dumped me.

All right, tell me the truth.

Do I look that big in real life?

Yes.

BOTH: No!

TARA: You don't understand, Sal.

It's my gallery. I can't be late.

Relax, we're 10 minutes late.

In SoHo, we're supposed to be late.

Late is late. I invited 550 guests.

The critics, the collectors...

I don't know how your people do things, Sal,

but my people pay attention to schedules.

My people? My people! What is that?

What are we, some kind of tribe or something?

Don't push me, Sal. I am not in the mood.

I want to know what you meant by "my people." What is that? What does that mean?

I don't have time for this.

No, well, you make time, then. Make time.

Sal, do I really have to explain the obvious?

(RINGING)

(GASPS)

Hello?

Yeah. Who's this?

Sal, hi.

What are you doing?

COOKIE: Ok, listen up. This is a really good one.

"You and your lover are in bed,

"and he asks you to do something kinky.

"You, A: refuse, but continue to make love to him.

"B: start crying and lock yourself in the bathroom.

"Or C: give it a whirl. After all, you might like it."

Ange?

A. Definitely A.

I would make love to him, but I'm not gonna do any of that weirdo stuff.

Dottie?

N.A.

What's "N.A."?

Not applicable.

Not applicable.

Oh...

(LAUGHING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Ange, it's probably Greg.

Yeah, right.

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Oh, my god, he called her.

Yes! There is a God.

(CAR HORNS HONKING)

(PIANO PLAYING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You're right. This is better than Bud. Huh!

What?

I gotta tell you, I...I never seen earrings so big.

You don't like 'em?

No, no, no. They're fine, they're fine. Just...

Big.

No... Toby, don't do that.

You don't have to do that for me. Put 'em back on.

I was really surprised when you called me.

Good surprise, not bad surprise.

I mean, really, it was an excellent surprise.

You did give me your number.

Kind of forward, huh?

(CUTLERY CLINKING)

I believe in letting people know what you want.

Otherwise you might never get it.

You ever wonder, like, which ones are on their first dates,

or which ones are dating other people,

or who's seeing the wrong people?

No.

I do.

(LAUGHS)

Well, which do we look like?

Us? Mmm-hmm.

Oh, well, we're...

Oh, we look like them. First date.

How can you tell?

Well,

she's nervous, and I'm very nervous.

She's hoping that he likes her,

and I'm hoping that you like me.

And he's not sure if he's gonna call her again,

just like you're not sure if you're gonna call me again.

Let me ask you something, Toby.

What do you want?

What do I want?

Mmm.

What do you want out of life?

Oh, I want to look like her,

(LAUGHS)

A city girl.

God, I look at them and I think, "Where are they going?"

You know? And then I invent things.

Like, oh, she's probably going to a meeting,

or to a secret date, or to some kind of conference, you know?

Nothing ever ordinary, like going to the A&P to pick up bleach,

'cause some kid threw up grape juice all over you.

So that's what I want.

I want some Jersey girl to look at me someday

and say, "Where is she going?"

You know?

And I'll be going to a meeting.

WAITER: Have you decided?

Two venison a l'orange.

Venison a l'orange, please.

Ah, tres bien.

That sounds good.

What is that?

(DOG BARKING)

So do you want to come up?

No, not tonight. It's late, and...

So I guess I should go in then, huh?

Sal, are you ever gonna call me again?

Ah, you're a good kid, Toby.

Not that good.

No one could say that didn't work.

(SIGHS)

No. Nobody could say that.

Night.

Good night.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

Hey, Cook, it's me. How you doing?

I just got home.

Oh, I had the best time. I could not believe it.

I am in love with this guy. He's so great.

(ALL LAUGHING)

COOKIE: You did not. A fish? You sent him a fish?

Stop laughin'. Yeah, I sent him a little goldfish,

with an invitation to lunch.

DOT: I think it's kind of cute.

Yeah.

ANGIE: Well, you couldn't have given him one of my kittens, right?

I wanted to give him something he couldn't throw away,

you know, like flowers or a card.

Yeah? Well, you can always flush a fish.

Oh!

I'm kidding.

SAL: I think you forget who you're talking to.

All right.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

All right, I'll call you tomorrow.

What is that?

It's a fish.

I know it's a fish.

But what is he doing here?

He came with this.

(HANG ON ('TIL TOMORROW) PLAYING)

¶ Sometimes I wonder

¶ If you change your mind

TOBY: Did you get enough to eat?

SAL: Mmm-hmm.

'cause I got a lot more, if you're hungry.

Oh, no. No, no, thanks.

Sal, I gotta tell you, you are a great dresser.

Thank you.

When you go shoppin', do you ever, you know, like, look at a price tag?

Probably not, right?

I look.

Get out of here. You're rich.

Rich. Oh, yeah, I'm really rich.

Toby, I'm a kid from Queens.

I grew up with nothin'.

You're from Queens?

Yeah, Rockaway.

Rockaway? Mmm-hmm.

I can't believe this.

How...

How does a guy from Rockaway get from there to here?

I worked at it.

Believe me, I worked at it.

Sal, I hope you don't think that I'm...I'm dating you for your money,

because that's not the way it is.

You know, that's not what I'm about.

So I just wanted to set that straight.

Are we dating?

No.

No, we're not datin'.

I mean, I could call this a date.

You know, that would be ok with me,

really ok.

Yeah.

So, to you, this is a date?

Yeah, to me, this is a date.

¶ Don't stop

¶ Hang on till tomorrow

¶ Don't stop

¶ In Rockaway ¶

You busy next Friday night?

Are you askin' me out on a date?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Are you accepting?

(WHISPERS) Yeah.

BENNIE: Ok, we're all in. Here we go.

A possible straight for Fat Louie.

No help for Tommy Pickles.

Minchia, 3 deuces for the good doctor.

And ungatz for the dealer.

Minchia, I can't buy a hand.

This is bad.

I'm in.

MEN: Hey, Toby.

BENNIE: Where you been? I was worried.

(MEN CONTINUE CHATTERING)

You should've called.

I know. I forgot.

You know how these guys get when they don't eat.

They turn into raving cafones.

Fat Louie's on the verge of tears.

I'm sorry. I was in the city.

Oh, yeah.

What, seeing that guy again?

So, uh, when you gonna bring him by for dinner?

Here?

Yeah, here.

What, is he too good for Fat Louie?

Guess where he's taking me Friday night.

Where?

To a charity benefit for the mayor.

What mayor?

Of New York City!

No kiddin'?

That's real nice.

But, uh,

that still don't answer my question.

I mean, these are your people.

Why are you doin' this to me?

What am I doin' to you? I'm asking you a question.

Look, Dad, Sal is teaching me things.

He's showing me a different life.

Let me ask you something, Toby.

These, um, these kids at the daycare,

they, uh, show you respect?

Well, do you think that, uh, just anybody

can find that any place they look?

Maybe, uh, Mr. Wonderful from Manhattan

just, you know, forgot to tell you that.

(SCOFFS)

Think about it, pretty face.

All right, listen up, cafones.

It's antipasto time.

MEN: Hey, hey, hey! There we go.

So he says he wants to start up again.

You believe him?

From the waist down, she does.

Of course I believe him. I mean, I love him.

And he loves me, too. All of me.

TOBY: Guys!

Guys, you gotta help me.

He's taking me to a charity benefit.

I found the perfect dress. I'm $60 short.

Oh, a benefit?

Come on, I'll pay you back.

It's for charity. Cough it up.

All right, when are we gonna meet him?

Soon.

What do you think of these?

Do you like 'em? They look real, don't they?

They're made of glass.

They're really nice, Toby.

You can have all my hoops, Ange, all right?

When are we gonna meet him?

ANGIE: How about Friday?

He can meet us at the Steak 'n' Brew...

No, no, no. I'm sorry, Friday night's the night of the benefit.

Tobe, Friday is Dot's birthday.

Oh, god, Dottie, I forgot. I'm sorry.

It's all right. Forget about it.

Dottie, it's just that he bought these tickets, you know?

And he's more important than you are.

No. He bought these tickets.

What do you want me to say to him?

"No, I can't go to the charity benefit,

"I'm going to the Steak 'n' Brew on Route 4."

That's where we're going.

Dottie, listen. I'm sorry, ok?

I promise, I will make it up to you, ok?

I love you, all right?

Let me see you smile. Have a kiss? Bye.

Ok, excuse me, am I deaf?

Or did anybody hear her ask us how we're doing?

BENNIE: So, I'm thinkin',

"My little girl's gonna meet the mayor of New York City,

"so she's got to look great." Right?

Well, I happen to be passing this place on Passaic,

Rita's fine wear.

And I see this in the window.

And I think to myself, "Dummy, buy it for her."

So, um,

open it. Go ahead. For tonight.

Do you like it?

Because, hey, if you don't, I'll take it back.

They'll give me my money back.

No, I love it, Pop. It's... it's my color.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

The pink and...and the lace, it's...it's you.

You... You're gonna look dynamite in it.

Yeah, but you gotta go, Pop.

You gotta go now, because he's comin' any minute.

This is the perfect time. Look, I promise you.

"Hello, how are you?" And I'm out of here.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh, he's here. I have to get ready.

Don't worry about it.

Just go do what you have to do, and I'll let him in.

You better be good.

Me? Of course I'll be good.

Oh!

(KNOCKING)

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm looking for Toby Mastallone.

No, no, no. She's here. She's here. Come on in.

Bennie Mastallone, Toby's father.

Oh, how you doin'? Sal Torme.

How you doin'?

Well, ah,

she ain't ready yet, but you know the way women are, huh?

So, uh,

come on in.

Have a seat. Yeah, take a load off.

So you, uh, you sell printing?

Got your own office?

Got your own secretary?

How many windows in your office?

One.

One big one.

What do you make a year?

(SCOFFS)

Hey, look, you don't have to tell me, exactly.

In, uh, round numbers.

You clear 6 figures?

Uh...

In that neighborhood.

That's a good neighborhood.

So, Sal, what do you say we talk man-to-man?

I know what girls from the city are like. When I was your age,

I dated a couple, myself. Nice girls.

But not like girls from around here.

You catch my drift, Sal?

No.

BENNIE: Let me put it this way.

In this world,

you got fast girls, and you got family girls.

Now, it's all right to go out with both.

But when you cross the river into Jersey,

it's important to know the difference.

Think about it, Sal.

Nice watch.

What'd it cost you?

(DOOR OPENS)

BENNIE: You look just like an angel.

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Oh, wow! This is so beautiful.

Oh!

Oh, look, they have an orchestra.

Shall we go listen to 'em?

...is that it took 50 trees to make this bookcase,

which was smuggled out of a small African country.

Let's, uh,

let's go upstairs. Come on.

It was quite exciting, actually. We, uh...

A friend of mine had told me about this little village

where the trees were cut down and brought in.

SAL: Are you cold?

No, I'm fine.

God, it's cold in here.

No, it's not.

I feel a draft. I'm catching a cold already.

I'm ok.

Here, put this on. I don't want you catching a cold.

I told your father I'd look after you, I don't want him mad at me.

I'm ok.

Sal.

Mmm.

Darling, what a surprise.

Ah.

I don't think you know Kenneth.

TARA: Kenneth. Sal.

Sal. Kenneth.

Hi.

How you doin'?

TARA: Kenneth is a buyer from England.

I hope I'm more than that.

And an old friend.

Hello, I'm Tara.

Toby. I'm sorry.

Toby. Tara.

Tara. Toby.

And this is...

Kenneth, I know, I already heard. Hey, how you doin'?

Well.

I hope you two enjoy your evening.

It was very nice to meet you.

Nice meetin' you.

Here, they already saw me.

I'm sorry.

Who was she?

Just somebody I know.

Well, that was obvious.

You want to stay?

You tell me.

I'll take you home.

TOBY: Hey! Hey!

Who do you think you are, huh?

Do you think you're the only one walking here,

or the only one trying to get someplace?

Talk to me! You goddamn owe me!

Owe you? I don't owe you anything.

Yes, you do.

Why's that?

'Cause I love you.

(SIGHS)

Because you love me?

How the hell can you love me?

Like I met you. I crashed into it.

Toby, you don't even know me.

Who knows anybody?

What, is there a manual I'm supposed to read on you?

Or can't I just figure it out as I go along?

Ah, I wish it was that simple...

It is that simple.

Not here!

It isn't that simple here.

Oh, I see.

I'm just some stupid Jersey girl in some stupid dress, right?

Laugh with your friends at what an idiot I am!

Well, you're right, I am stupid.

My father bought me this dress especially for tonight.

I had a dress. A simple, black dress.

But I thought it was... It was more important not to hurt his feelings

than it was to impress you.

God, I guess I was wrong, right?

I don't know who I feel sorrier for, you or me.

Toby!

TOBY: Get me out of here, ok?

I don't care where we go. Just get...

What?

I'm sorry.

(WHISPERING) I'm sorry.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(BORN TO GIVE MY LOVE PLAYING)

¶ I don't know what brought us here

¶ Somethin' in the stars

¶ Said you and me

¶ I don't know where this feeling comes from

¶ Surely it was meant to be

¶ For I have known you

¶ Even in my dreams

¶ My eyes are open

Jersey feels so far away.

¶ As sure as stars light the midnight sky

¶ As sure as children wonder why

¶ As sure as newborn babies cry

¶ I was born to give my love

¶ To you

¶ Born to give my love to you

¶ Heaven must be holdin' on

¶ To all the love I'm feelin' right now

¶ Here we are

¶ This is the moment

¶ I believe it's our turn

¶ Somehow

(CROWS CAWING)

¶ Hearts together

¶ Hands across the night

¶ One forever

¶ Finally in sight

¶ As sure as stars light the midnight sky

¶ As sure as children wonder why

¶ As sure as newborn babies cry

¶ I was born to give my love

¶ To you

¶ I was born to give my love

¶ To you

¶ I was born to give my love

¶ To you

¶ I was born to give my love to you ¶

Mmm.

Hi.

Mmm. Hi.

It's after 1:00.

(GASPS)

You hungry?

No, are you?

Mmm-hmm.

(LAUGHS)

I'm starving.

Well, I guess I could eat if you could eat.

Ok. Ok.

Let's get up.

No, I don't want to.

I'm very happy where I am.

Oh, you're very happy where you are?

Yes, I am.

Oh, I see.

Are you, uh, you happy with this?

(SCREAMING)

(SAL GROANING)

I'm up! I'm up!

You know, Sal, I got to tell you somethin'.

This place looks like a hotel.

I mean, it's beautiful and everything,

but there's nothing personal.

I mean, where are your family pictures?

You know, where are the souvenirs from the vacations?

There's nothin' of you here.

I love you in my shirt.

What about family,

you know, your mother, your father?

Yeah, I...I had one of each.

Really, you did? Mmm-hmm.

We usually do.

Where are they?

Mmm.

My dad, he...

He cut loose when I was about 10.

And a new guy took his place.

And...

I left when I was 14.

But what about your mother? Don't you see her?

Dolores?

Mmm.

I last saw her about 4 years ago.

She was in-between husbands,

and, um, she needed some money.

What about you?

What about me?

Tell me about your parents.

Now, can we talk about your father for just a second?

A little bit protective, huh?

(LAUGHS)

I think they loved each other, but kind of in a sad way.

Sad? Why?

Well, they always told each other that they were lucky

if, like, a hammer didn't fall on them.

I mean, that's the most their lives were.

You know, nothin' too awful happenin'.

And they were grateful for that.

Mmm.

But were they happy?

Yeah, very.

Then maybe that's all that matters.

(MOANING)

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

All right, I'll call you tomorrow.

Ok.

What time do you get up?

Early.

Ok. Ok.

Go. Go. go.

Hey!

I forgot to tell you how beautiful you look in that dress.

(GIGGLING)

Did you come?

What kind of question is that to ask?

Come on, Tobe. I mean,

I never do, the first time I'm with a guy.

And Dot, she never does.

Shut up.

ANGIE: It's true.

Still, it doesn't have to be public knowledge, does it?

(GIGGLING)

So when can we meet him?

Soon.

So, videos tonight, right?

BOTH: Yeah.

Dot, get a comedy, all right?

No more of this depresso bullshit.

What? You don't like my wedding video?

Oh, yeah, it was funny as a heart attack.

Fluorescent satin, cloth and foil.

I need 3 shipments of this.

(PHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE)

I gotta call you back.

I'll call you back in 10 minutes. 10 minutes.

Rosie, hold all my calls.

I don't have a white flag, but will white lace do?

What, are you slumming again?

Or are you just bored with your people?

You're still mad.

Technically, I'm the one who should be mad.

I started a fight, you started an affair.

What is she, Sal? A girl from the old neighborhood or something?

Or something. You want to explain Kenneth?

Kenneth is a buyer from England

who likes ballet and boys.

But I'm happy to see you were jealous.

What's this?

That's Carlos.

It's cute, but it's not very you.

Rosie?

Rosie?

Rosie, could you please find a home for this?

I'll take it. I need a pet.

Thank you.

TARA: I understand distractions, Sal.

Until I met you, that's all the men in my life were to me.

So I forgive you for what's-her-name.

Tony.

Toby.

Toby.

Toby, yes.

It's really a hard name to remember.

I don't want you to remember it.

And I don't want to remember it.

You are so past something like her now, Sal.

Don't go backwards.

TARA: I know where you've come from,

and I know where you wanna go.

And I can help you get there.

I love you, Sal.

(IT ALMOST SLIPPED AWAY PLAYING)

¶ ...slipped away

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

The door's open. Come on in.

¶ But you stood by me when I couldn't see

¶ Now in your arms I'll stay ¶

Hey.

Oh, my god, Sal. Hi.

How you doin'? What are you doin' here?

This is such a great surprise.

Want something to eat?

I'll get you something to drink.

No, Toby. Toby. No?

(SIGHS)

(MUSIC STOPS)

So what are you doin' here?

Listen, Toby, we gotta talk about something.

Ok.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

ANGIE: Can you believe she won't let us meet him?

I know. I mean, what does she think we're gonna do?

Lift our legs and pee on him?

(ALL LAUGHING)

I don't know how to say this to you.

Just...just say it.

(SIGHS)

We can't see each other anymore.

Why not?

'Cause I need something different.

"Something"? What's "something"?

Toby, we come from different worlds.

What, Queens and Jersey are so different?

What's so different about them?

You gotta understand.

I can't go backwards. I can't.

I worked too hard to get where I am.

And I'm gonna hold you back? Is that it?

(COOKIE LAUGHING)

Toby?

She's in here.

Hi.

Aren't you gonna introduce us?

Uh, yeah, uh, Sal, um, these are my, uh...

Friends.

"Friends" is the word she was looking for. We're her Jersey friends.

You know Jersey, where the little people live?

Toby, I think I better go.

No, Sal, you stay. They are going.

Outside, now. Cookie, right now!

TOBY: Hey, what were you doing up there, huh?

I don't like him, ok?

How do you know? You don't even know him.

No, but I know you, and you are no longer you.

Yeah, what the hell's that supposed to mean, huh?

That means, "I drink Corona now.

Hoops are out, diamonds are in."

Does that sound stupidly familiar?

Tell her what it means, Ange!

Dottie.

Ahem, well,

I guess it means that if we didn't know you before,

we probably wouldn't like you now.

(GASPS)

Why? 'cause I don't hang out at the diner? Is that why?

No. It's because you look down on us now,

like the city girls do. You are not from New York, Toby.

You are just a Jersey girl trying to act like she's not.

Yeah, well, fine! Stay in your halter-tops!

And your purple eye shadow, and your pink nails!

Stay in Jersey, 'cause I don't give a fuck!

(ENGINE STARTS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Don't you like being with me?

Yes.

Oh, Toby.

Oh, god.

Don't you like kissing me?

I love kissing you.

(MOANING)

I can't do this.

Do what?

Toby, I don't wanna hurt you.

You know, I...I...I never wanted to hurt you.

I just need more.

But I can give you more.

Yeah, but I can't.

You understand?

I know where you are, I do.

But I'm just not there anymore.

(SOBS)

Don't.

(TOBY CRYING)

Don't... No...

TOBY: God.

Oh, god.

(DREAM AWAY PLAYING)

You owe more.

Get out of here. You ate half my food.

You ordered it.

¶ All you good-doers

¶ Lay your weary heads

Can I get a cheeseburger and French fries to go, please?

We are not talking to her unless she talks to us first.

What's the matter?

He doesn't feed you caviar for dinner?

Doesn't that make you guys happy?

What, did he blow you off?

Yeah, he did.

Why don't you guys buy yourselves some balloons, pop open the champagne?

Why don't you guys throw yourselves a party, huh?

What happened?

Nothing happened.

I'm shit, ok?

And I was stupid enough to forget it for, like, one second!

(SOBBING)

¶ All you lonely hearts

He blew her off. I knew he would.

It's good for her.

It'll cool her jets for a while.

Listen to yourself.

What?

You disgust me, you really do.

You know, you sit there,

with your hair and your legs and your shiny lips,

and you're either giving out orders or you're passing judgments

on anyone who can't live up to the great Cookie's standards.

Look at us. What's so great about us?

We're not beautiful. We're not rich.

We're not too incredibly special.

We're just girls. But we're friends.

You know what I'm saying?

And we have nothing, and less than nothing, if we don't have loyalty.

¶ Shine your light ¶

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Uh, excuse me. Move.

SAL: Gabe, this is a Heidelberg press.

It's the fastest printing press in the world.

You give me the artwork tomorrow,

and I'll have the separations the day after.

You're kidding. I'm not kiddin' you.

I'm talking about Wednesday, Thursday of next week.

It will be in the magazines by Friday.

COOKIE: Hey, you!

Hey!

Mr. Big Shot. that's right, I'm talking to you.

You think you are so cool, don't you?

Let me tell you something, Sal.

When you gave up Toby,

you gave up the greatest girl you ever had the chance to meet in your life.

Out of here!

Get your hands off of me!

Jimmy, get 'em out of here.

And that is why guys like you are so goddamn ordinary!

SAL: (SHOUTING) Jimmy, get 'em out!

Out.

Come on, the bunch of you.

Sal, what was that?

(LAUGHING)

What is this?

What?

I'm sorry, Gabe.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

A little misunderstanding. A little misunderstanding.

Let me show you the rest of the plant.

Hey, who was that redhead?

You like her, too, huh?

(PHONE RINGING)

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Right.

What? Wait a minute. That's my fish!

ROSIE: Hey! Where are you going? Come back here!

She's got the fish.

Oh, my god! What...

(CHATTERING)

ANGIE: Keep it down.

Where's the elevator?

You guys, we're gonna get arrested.

Great.

Here it is! Come on!

(DOOR CLOSING)

Oh. There you are.

Playing hide-and-seek?

Let me give you a little piece of advice.

Don't risk this for an easy lay.

I saw you at the benefit.

You take girls like that to a hotel, Sal.

You don't take them to meet the mayor.

Back off, Mitch. I like that girl, ok?

Look, relax, ok? Take it easy.

Gabe likes her, too. In fact, he likes her a lot.

He wants to know if you're through with the kid,

can he have a crack at her?

You know what? Toby may not have a lot of style,

but she's got more class than you and Gabe put together.

Where you going?

Sal, we're not through here.

What are you doing?

What am I doing? I'm out of here.

That's what I'm doing.

Ok, ok, ok, so fine. So you like the girl.

I like the girl.

Gabe likes her. We all like her.

She's a likable girl.

Now you listen to me, goddamn it.

I watched you. I groomed you.

I taught you which fork to use.

I showed you how to tie your tie.

I showed you how to make money.

Now, you listen to me.

I showed you.

I invested myself, you hear me?

Oh, yeah, you groomed me?

Is that what you said?

You groomed me? You did a hell of a job.

I mean, you taught me how to steal accounts.

You taught me how to pimp for clients,

anything to close a deal, huh, Mitch?

The real world too much for you, Sal?

Neither one of us could spell "real,"

even with a gun up our ass.

You leave now, Sal, you end up back on the street

where I found you.

You know what? I'd rather be in the street.

(CUTLERY CLINKING)

These potatoes are real?

The box was real. How's that?

I don't think I ever told you this,

but your mama and I wanted to have a whole bunch of kids.

But when only you came,

it was ok, because we thought you were perfect.

I ain't saying that 'cause I'm your father.

If you were a stranger I met at the hockey game,

and I saw how...

Pretty and how sensitive you are,

I would think,

"This girl is a perfect living miracle."

And if this Sal guy doesn't think so, then he's a loser.

(SNIFFING)

And he needs glasses.

(LAUGHING)

I love you, Pop.

Yeah, I love, uh, you, too.

So let's eat.

Ok.

What do you think?

(GASPS)

Maybe I should have cooked the box.

(LAUGHS)

(FOR A HEART THAT'S TRUE PLAYING)

¶ The dreams that once surround you

¶ Put you right back where they found you

¶ You've been runnin'

¶ It's all fallin' down around you, darlin'

¶ Never saw them comin'

(CAR ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Come on. Come on, all right?

Oh!

¶ When your world's falling apart

¶ Gotta find a new beginnin'

¶ Baby, listen to your heart

Oh.

¶ Oh, baby

Ok.

¶ Ooh

¶ Tonight your little heart is aching

¶ But you're gonna make it through

¶ Tonight somebody's out there waiting

Listen, Bennie, have you seen Toby today?

Oh, she left already.

Do you know where she went?

No, nothing's wrong. No.

Listen, will you do me a favor?

If you see her, will you tell her

that me and the girls are looking for her?

¶ The heart that's true

¶ You say your heart's been broken

¶ Baby, this is not for you

¶ Put the pieces back together

¶ Baby, start over again

¶ Wow!

¶ Tonight your little heart

¶ Is aching

¶ But you're gonna make it through

¶ Tonight somebody's out there waiting

ANGIE: Here she comes.

¶ For a heart that's true

¶ Tonight your little heart is aching ¶

Ok, I...I'm a jerk.

I'm probably gonna be a jerk again, right?

But I'm good with kids.

I'm...I'm a great tipper, you guys know that about me.

And I'm...I'm generally a good friend.

So what do you say? How about it?

Come on, guys, are you listenin' to me?

(GASPING) Oh, no!

Oh, god!

Oh, you should've been there.

It was beautiful.

We nailed him in front of God, everybody.

It was great.

(ANGIE LAUGHING)

You guys stole the fish.

Dottie stole it. I stole it.

She kicked ass. Cookie kicked ass.

COOKIE: Stop it.

TOBY: I would expect nothing less.

ANGIE: I know. Whoo! yes!

(ANGIE KISSING)

COOKIE: She's back! Ok!

TARA: Are you out of your mind?

This is absolutely wrong.

Can't you see that?

These two pieces cannot possibly be hung on the same wall.

Sal.

Don't you think I'm right?

About this? Yeah.

About us...

No.

What are you talking about?

You see, Tara, you and me, we're like... We're like these two paintings here.

We shouldn't be hung on the same wall.

She'll never fit in.

I don't want her to fit in.

"And the handsome prince fought the evil dragon in a mighty battle,

"and saved the beautiful maiden from sure death.

"'I love you, fair maiden,' said the prince. 'Will you marry me?'

"'I love you, too,' said the maiden. 'And I will marry you.'"

But not until after I finish law school.

Is that really what it says?

That's what it should say.

(CHILDREN GIGGLING)

Ok, it's nap time. We all gotta get to our mats, ok?

MONICA: Who's that?

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

(CHILD GIGGLING)

Ok, um, I want you guys to be good.

I'm gonna be right back, ok?

Outside.

(SCOFFS)

What are you doin' here?

I want my fish back.

I want you back.

Well, I don't want you back.

I love you, Toby.

You do, huh?

Take a look, Sal, 'cause this is it. This is me.

And I like who I am.

And I don't want to change it for you or for anyone.

And I don't want you to change.

Lie to me, Sal, ok, but don't lie to yourself.

You would run over me and every kid in this school

to save a dent in your stupid car.

Is that what you really think of me?

I know where you're at, Sal.

And I'm just not there anymore.

MONICA: Toby?

All the boys are being crazy, and they won't let me sleep.

I gotta go.

(JERSEY GIRL PLAYING)

¶ Got no time for the corner boys

¶ Down in the street

¶ Makin' all that noise

¶ Don't want no girls

¶ On 8th Avenue

¶ 'Cause tonight

¶ I'm gonna be with you

¶ 'Cause tonight I'm gonna take that ride

(ALARM SOUNDING)

¶ Cross the river to the Jersey side

¶ Take my baby to the carnival

¶ And I'll take you

¶ On all the rides

¶ Down the shore everything's all right

¶ With your baby on a Saturday night

(TIRES SCREECHING)

¶ Don't you know that all my dreams come true

¶ When I'm walkin' down the street with you

¶ Singing sha-la-la-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la, I'm in love with a Jersey girl

So I guess you're gonna need a ride.

¶ Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Yeah, maybe I do.

So call a cab.

You know I would, except that I hear

that cabs in Jersey, they take 4, 5 times

longer than they say they're gonna take.

Seems like it's a really... It's a big problem they have here in Jersey.

Yeah, well, you got another big problem here in Jersey.

¶ In my baby's arms

What's that?

Me.

¶ My little angel gives me everything

¶ I know someday

¶ That she'll wear my ring

¶ So don't you bother me

¶ 'Cause I got no time

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

TOBY: And you call me a bad driver?

SAL: No, no. No, wait a second, I did that on purpose.

On purpose? What is that, like a male thing?

You could have just brought flowers.

Hey, who let these animals out of the zoo, huh?

¶ Jersey girl

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ Oh, oh, I'm in love

¶ With a Jersey girl ¶

¶ Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ I'm in love with a Jersey girl

¶ She's my girl

¶ Jersey girl

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Oh, I love her

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ God, I love her

¶ I just don't know what am I gonna do?

¶ I'm in love, I'm in love

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Oh, yeah

¶ Sh-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ Oh, yes, I'm in love

¶ 'Cause you see what I mean

¶ I'll tell you why

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ I won't, I won't let go

¶ You gotta live

¶ You gotta live, now

¶ Oh, baby

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Hey

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

¶ I swear, I'll sing for ya, I'll do what you need

¶ What you want

¶ Oh! But, baby, please don't leave me!

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ Sing for me

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-la

¶ Oh

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-sha-la-la-la-la

¶ Sha-la-la-la-la- la-la-la-la-la-la ¶