Original subtitles

Miss.

What's the matter, kid?

I'm not a kid!

Help...

Stop!

Stay!

Help...

Stay!

- Help... - Stop!

How dare he is taking my daughter's advantage in the public.

Sisters, come on!

Stop, sex fiend!

Miss, did you get hurt?

No!

Trying to rape my daughter? Go to hell!

Madam, you're mistaken.

I saw it myself. How could I be mistaken?

Not me...

Mistaken? See you pimples, you must be a sex fiend.

Not me...

You're misunderstanding. He didn't do it.

Fang Chien-sheng, a pig-headed.

Great!

Let's go to see movie?

Let's go...

Miss, I like your airplane.

That runway is better.

What are you doing?

Let's go to see music T.V. Together.

Come... take it easy, alright!

Sit well, don't disturb your coed.

What a sarcastic teacher. Sooner or later he'll suffer.

Two of you, please come forward. Come out!

You know the four moods, don't you?

Sure, sir, we're actors.

We're sure no problem at all.

Good. Can you cry?

Cry? I can't make it without a story.

Okay. Here you are.

Take me for your dad. Kneel down now.

Cry louder and hold your ears to say,

Dad, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Say it.

Sir!

You're an idiot. Get lost.

Sir!

Disgusting!

Dad, I'm sorry. I won't do it again.

Dad...

Good, your turn.

This lady please.

Repeat that act.

Everyone, please pay attention to his act.

Mom, I'm sorry, I won't do it anymore.

Good!

Kneel down till the class is over.

Students!

A hot scene is the hardest especially for an actor.

Now see my demonstration.

Hello, back to your seat.

Good morning, sir!

What's the matter?

So what? I'm Fang Chien-lang.

We're classmates. We're exchanging experiences only.

Mr. Fang...

Mr. Fang Chien-Hui comperes.

One Dish Everyday.

Ready, Cue!

Mrs. Chang wrote to say her husband.

Who's married her for 6 years had a mistress recently.

A wife is to blame for her husband's fickleness.

A wife who's good cook won't lost her husband.

To win the heart of your husband, Mrs. Chang.

The importance is to boil good soup for him.

Today's soup is "Swallow Returns in Spring".

Ingredients: Quails, swallow's nests and chirata.

After drinking it, your husband will be yours again.

Time's up.

See you again in next week's "Mainly for women".

I can smell it up there.

Let's have some swallow goody.

Oh, it's not yet done.

It's a prop only.

Mrs. Fang, I'll count you into our tonight's program.

Sorry, I have a date with an air hostess.

She looks like Jessica Lange and admires me long time ago.

I must give her a chance. Bye-bye.

Miss Jessica Lange?

He's bluffing again.

He's already 30, but without a girlfriend.

Never mind him.

My dear, $1,000 please!

Borrowing again?

Using "my wife" to extort money again.

What? Money again?

If you go further, be ready for hell.

Lang, since we're brothers.

Okay then, lend me your car to show off.

You know nothing but showing off.

So you can't stick to a job longer.

It was not decent enough that's why I'm an artiste now.

How's the first day in school?

- What's that mean? - Good...

Hey, don't go...

Stand still!

What's the matter with you two?

Professor!

My God...

It stinks! It's Mr. Popeye.

You two are really shit made, go too far indeed.

Come to my office to see me.

Bad, I forgot my glasses.

Please show me the road.

What a nuisance. I don't know the way either.

Now, turn left or right?

No idea.

Look at the front sign.

It's not clear.

Get closer to see it.

Oh, it's a "Danger" sign.

Brother Lang!

Call the police.

The food's getting burnt.

Is Miss Sour in please?

There's no Sour.

But there's lots of Honey.

Come and pick them up.

We're the best whore in town.

Sorry, wrong number.

Better wrong than never.

Come on, idiot!

I want to speak to Sluggo!

Which one? There's lots of them!

Nancy then.

There's lots of them too.

What place is it?

A nursery!

Why didn't you tell me so, bitch!

You've wasted my time, maniac.

You're a maniac indeed.

Jesus, please.

Jesus is the Savior, come to him then.

Stop bullshit to me, Jesus and me are going to pick up girls tonight.

God, forgive him the sinner. It's a sin indeed.

What the hell is this place?

Church!

My God, after the date the Jesus.

I'll come to confess.

Goodbye!

Time to eat, Master Lang!

If Amy calls, say that I'm out.

If Nancy calls, says that I'm away traveling.

All reserve for Kitty only.

Maybe it's mine.

Hurry up, I'm waiting for her returned call.

I'll repeat that: Break up!

Are you Kitty?

Are you out of your mind?

Hang up, maniac!

Well, I'll kill myself!

I don't care!

Sir, you shouldn't say that.

Who are you?

So you have a new darling.

I don't know him.

I don't know her either. It's a wrong number.

Hang up then.

I'm waiting for Kitty to call back. Hang up, stupid.

You call me stupid.

I don't mean you, but don't be so heartless to your girlfriend.

Well, if you're interested, here's her address.

Chin Fa Garden, Zone 4C No.4.

Ken, if you leave me, I'll surely die!

Hey, Miss, don't do it.

Hong Kong is such a wonderful place.

What's so good about Hong Kong? Tell me!

Brother Lang, what's so good about Hong Kong?

Banana, have a banana.

Time to eat. Hang up!

Hang up, quick!

I got it! Sunset at the seaside, it's romantic!

And... Remember that song.

Life's a bed of roses, as we enjoy freedom.

Not let's whisper.

L.P. Gas, wonderful!

Right, L.P. Gas.

Hello! Miss...

God damn it!

Time to eat, where're you going?

To save someone's daughter.

I don't know what he's talking about.

Granny, what's your name?

Where do you live?

I am expert to make beef stew.

Oh, no, it could be disastrous.

Is anybody in?

Washroom.

It's you!

Help!

Fallen petals on a moon-night nearly shatter our dreams.

Miss... I...

Mammy!

So you sex fiend again!

I'm here to help!

Help?

Didn't you try to kill yourself with gas?

What a lousy trick!

See mine, the Champion of 1957.

The winner of National Martial Arts Tournament.

Hey, gas comes from next door.

You sex maniac even seduces the girl next door.

You sex fiend, damn you!

No, I'm not.

Don't deny it.

Mom, someone is really committing suicide.

Is that so?

Go and help!

The sun, the stars...

What happened to you?

Did you try to be a hero in front of a beauty.

Had she promised to marry you out of gratitude.

Nonsense. I'll go and get plaster for you.

Is she beautiful?

Not bad!

Do you love her?

Just about.

She loves you?

Just about.

Win her, like to win a score of a billiard game.

Don't pollute your brother's mind.

I have lots of say.

You're my elder brother as well as a parental guardian.

You shouldn't have forced me wearing female dresses when I was a child.

That makes me a cissy man now.

Luckily, I protected you.

Otherwise, you'll be more cissier than I.

About dating, I'll give you 2 lessons.

Honest is good enough, but progress.

You mean to be a grocery boss?

In short, you must be bold but prudent.

No, I'm not.

The method of the '60's can no longer work for girls of the '80's.

The girls like boy's tough and faceless.

Faceless?

Like Richard Gere, flirtatious.

Like James Bon, full of love.

No, love to ensure quick success.

Let's get her tomorrow.

It's too soon.

Eat then.

Vegetable!

It's cold already.

The moral of the story is: Get it hot.

It's tasteless when it's cold.

That's all for today.

Let's get a good stuff tonight.

You already have an air hostess. Don't fool around.

I've been taking 'cabbages' all my life.

Can I have 'brocolis' for a change?

Don't ever act like Lang.

Sooner or later, he has pickless only.

I'll eat first.

I'm cizzy...

The girls therefore think that I'm harmless.

Actually lots of women fall for me.

My love, I'm on fire.

Burning up the whole desert.

The greatest hero.

You're lucky to have been chosen from 19 districts.

Mongkok's Lily Lee, the Dolly Parton type.

Let's hold fast to the dream.

See if you're lucky or I am.

Beauty of Tokyo Store, three boys want to date you today.

Beauty of Tokyo Store?

They're boorish, I don't like them.

In fact, what's your type of boyfriend?

Tall handsome, and with white teeth.

Casual, but with taste in dressing.

Friendly, but romantic.

Isn't that me.

Eyes must be big and passionate, but seducing.

Soft-spoken, but sexy voice.

Hair should be well-groomed.

You Virgo girls are so demanding.

Virgo?

- Let's be serious. - How can I tell it's Virgo?

Is that dressing gown in your shop still available?

Work in underwear department?

I'll come to see you after I'm off.

OK!

What are you looking for? She's mine.

Thank you.

I've peeled it for you.

For me!

Brother, you're so nice to us.

We can never find a better brother like you.

A tiny thing like an orange, you've peeled it for us.

A big thing like awear...

Cut it out! Stop dreaming of using my car.

Why?

Why don't you use the Eau de Cologne I gave you?

When did you give it to me?

I bought it when I borrowed your car last week!

When you returned me the car, all tyres were damaged.

Well frankly speaking, you can't blame on me.

That cost me $3,000 to repair.

What? You think the cologne is cheap?

Give me the car key.

OK, don't try to take my car away.

What a good brother in fact.

I've given you too much compliment.

Now go with me to the garage to prove it.

So I don't have to feel quilty myself.

OK, I'll try to find it myself.

Are you convinced now?

I've search everywhere and there's no Eau De Cologne.

Give me back the car key.

You want to make use of my car.

What's wrong?

I did put it in that box.

I see, that garage kid has got armpit odor.

He mustn't taken it away for use.

- I can't be wrong. It's him... - It must be that guy.

- Don't accuse me. - Stop acting.

Cologne for me?

Trying to take advantage?

I've been taken in.

What are you doing?

I want to buy something for a close girlfriend.

Make your own choice from there.

Stop!

I want a sexy one.

What size?

Your size.

What color?

Red!

$999.00

Fine!

$1 change!

Thank you!

Don't mention it.

Can I go now?

You scared me!

Why are you moping?

- It's alright! - Whose is this?

He left it behind.

Who bought it without taking it away?

I didn't believe in love at first sight till I met you.

Please keep this, as a menento of our acquaintance.

If you want to thank me.

See me at Coffee House at 11 tonight.

If you have no time.

Please turn it over to another beauty of Tokyo Store.

Only if there's one.

I've never seen a cockier man like him.

Please sit down.

You knew I'd come?

Yes!

That's why I had a lemonade ready.

A girl with a shapely figure like you.

She won't drink Ovaltine or fresh milk for sure.

A ring on the small finger means lots of admirers.

Transparent nail polish tells someone's foolery.

One earring shows someone's brainlessness.

But I like them all.

Virgo, it's for you.

But throw it away if you dislike it.

Stop!

Only a short period, you can get dress up like that.

It means you have an important appointment.

You'll leave this restaurant soon, because you carry on handbag. Right?

Wrong!

What's wrong?

A ring on the small finger because I only get this size.

The transparent nail polish? Actually I've applied no oil.

An earring only? Because I've lost the other one.

But you guess one thing right.

I'm leaving!

My boyfriend is waiting outside.

Take it back for yourself.

You can't imagine I'm not interested in you, right?

The bill!

What's taken you up so long?

I teased that kid. It was fun.

Never mind him.

What a beautiful car.

No, it's the worst one.

It's the worst one?

You must be rich and famous.

Sure, I am rich, a very rich man.

Rich means how to spend money.

Win the game.

He... he puts me on fire, I am fire. Burning...

Show him something.

OK!

One thousand...

Wonderful!

Wonderful, you won.

Damn watch, lousy watch!

It's always 2 seconds late.

Take it off!

But it's a diamond Rolex.

Mr. Rich.

- Take it off... - Don't!

You miser! I'll leave you.

Don't I take it off now.

- Hurry up! - Take it off.

Wonderful!

Very funny!

It smokes badly!

I thought that my car's bumper is hard, but that stand is more harder.

Hit him.

Knock him down!

No!

Go!

This is my papa's car. No, it can't...

Don't be scaring. Go away, let me push it.

What are you doing?

Get away!

You're insane, brainless.

I'm brainless? I'll show you how.

Sorry, I got a bad breathe. Don't go!

Come on... He must protect his papa's car.

Use my brother's car then. I don't mind.

Listen and don't do it.

Good night, Man.

Start the engine.

No, Beautiful! Give me a damn if you'll feel better.

- Don't go... - Here we go.

Don't go.

Bye-bye.

Be careful!

It's fun. You're my hero.

His papa is really in trouble.

Bitch, you've ruined my car.

You call me bitch. Go to hell then.

Help!

Crazy, you're murder.

Oh! My car!

Damn you!

Crazy you!

Damn you!

Bye!

I'll sue you!

You live in Bamboo Court, a nice place for our first date.

A Virgo don't like to get something easy.

So do you.

You'd better go home an asleep.

You're disgusting.

What's the name?

Beautiful!

My name is Handsome.

Bull!

You, too!

Goodbye!

Goodbye!

Sooner or later you'll see.

You can't fly away even if you had wings.

Why's Lang still not back?

Don't worry about him, he's not a kid anytime.

I'm worrying about my car, not him!

Don't worry, your car will be okay.

I have hunches he'd make me lose money.

See if he'll bring food.

Last time a rice dumpling cost me $3,800.

This time it could be goose, or chicken congee with balone.

Don't worry, maybe a fishball only.

You two, make fishballs?

Not even a fishball.

Fishball doesn't taste nice.

Come and have some foods.

What's this?

Shatin baby pigeon.

My car must be finished!

Let me see!

If the car's alright.

I bought you pigeon doesn't mean anything.

Go and take a look.

Is your car okay?

It's strange.

It was not like that, wasn't it.

You... bloody hell.

Don't eat, it costs at least 3 gram of gold.

Well, I'll get your TV salary from next month on.

- You heard that! - I beg your pardon.

I save this pigeon leg for you.

Give me George Bun's phone number to me.

I want him to tow the car away.

It's already after midnight.

I'll wake him up not you.

300687

- Papa... - Ming-ming!

OK. Don't come back again.

I'd bring my son up anyway, musician.

- Papa... - Ming... never mind him.

- Ming, let him go! - Papa...

Let him go!

Mammy!

George Bun, please!

Damn you, wrong number!

The woman was so impolite.

It's 5-300687.

Why didn't you say so?

Brother, what are you going to do?

That bitch on 300687 is so cocky.

Let me give her a damn.

Damn you, you still have the guts to see me!

Hey, bitch, it's connected!

You're disgusting.

So do you, idiot!

I'll call the police.

This bitch is really hideous.

- What's wrong? Did she make fun to you? - Yes!

I'll do it back to her at midnight.

What about my car?

It must be fixed. Good night!

Whose call?

Lang, this is Hung.

Hung, where are you? Can you come back soon.

England. I'll be back day after tomorrow.

Since you went away, I've lost weight I missed you terribly.

What are you doing now?

Eating sausages, doing facial treatment, talking to you.

Well, stop acting.

Meet me at the airport at 9 pm.

Bye-bye!

Why is she returning so soon?

How can I handle the 19 District beauties?

I'm in a bad mood. Let me make fun to that bitch.

Bitch!

It's two o'clock in the morning, time to go to toilet.

Who are you?

None of your business. My brother is looking for you.

Who is he?

Are you asking for him?

I've called the bitch already.

Keep on doing it.

What did you say?

Bitch!

Is you again!

Shit!

What?

Shit!

Shit? You are speaking dirty.

You are a maniac.

Bitch!

Psychopath? I hate people saying that to me.

Lang.

Ring that bitch every-night.

No compensation.

Really!

Psychopath!

Let my brother keeps on bothering you.

I'm so lucky that there's got to someone to help me out.

Oh! My face!

Time for breakfast!

Coming!

- Why are you dress up like a fidget? - I've taken day off to play ping pong.

Stop!

Who makes pig-headed such a big change?

It must be a girl.

For God sake, I meant, what's her name?

Ying-ying!

Eat it while it's hot.

I must go.

Bye-bye, brothers.

Hey, you're going out without breakfast?

Pig-headed really falls in love.

His ruddy face shows it.

The male hormones appear like a volcano on his cheek.

You... Poor indeed.

What do you mean?

You have no pimples even at the stage of puberty.

Your face looks so dry.

I really worry about you.

Why?

You'll either be a bachelor or a gigolo.

Really dry?

Good morning, Ying-ying!

Good morning, here you're.

Yes, nice to have a game with you.

Don't be so serious. Let me introduce a friend to you.

Your name, please?

I've no name because I'm afraid that you'll swallow me.

And your name is Rice?

No!

Your name is Vegetable?

Shit.

Behave yourself, he's Roy!

Roy, how are you?

So far so good.

What're you doing?

Nothing, you're very strong.

He used to be the school town's representative.

Really? Which one?

St. Peter Memorial Secondary School, Quarry Bay.

Did you finish?

Yes!

OK.

Let's start the game.

Great!

The Ping Pong strikes again.

This is the "Kiss of Ping Pong man".

You lose your temper?

Ball of fire.

See my "Terms of Punishment".

Come on!

Come, come on!

Hey, cool down, friend!

You're too much.

He admires you, he deserves it.

Sang...

Ying-ying!

Mr. Pang, no show today?

I have to interview an actress.

Any '8 star' cookies?

Sorry, the last one has just been bought by this lady.

Oh, Mr. Fang! Take it!

No, it's okay!

Mr. Fang, your car.

I'll buy it next time.

Excuse me, sir, I'm leaving. Sir, I'm leaving.

Sorry!

Mr. Fang, you like this cookies?

- Yes! - Thank you!

Mr. Fang will come up soon.

He is parking.

Mr. Fang, you're late. Any romantic story?

It sound exciting.

Cookies' romance.

What does she look like?

She's fair, elegant and has a taste.

Taste? Have you tried it?

Don't interrupt him, be serious.

The match-maker is a box of cookies.

She insisted that I took it.

Her eyes are seductive.

Her beauty is mixed with passion.

What a pity.

I was rushing for recording.

So I returned the cookies to her.

I said: Cookies made us together.

It also would keep us beautiful to last.

So let's fate take our course to leave her behind.

But I was thinking.

If I could meet her again.

To swallow her like cookies!

No, I would accept her pursuit. I would...

Mr. Fang, this is wonderful.

Almost touching one of all your love stories.

Well, where's that cake shop?

Let me go and try my luck.

It's only a story... Come on get to work!

Okay.

"Mainly for women" shot one take one.

Hello, Miss Wu!

Hello, Mr. Fang!

Here's Miss Wu Hsiu-fang, a newcomer of the Cantonese Opera.

Why are you so interesting in Cantonese Opera?

Sorry, try again.

Let's start from here.

From childhood, I...

Sorry.

I can't help laughing by seeing you.

Director, get all her shots first.

And mine, I can shot later.

Okay, cut.

Shen-shen, take his place.

Great. It's finished.

Finished...

Mr. Fang!

Do you have time to see me tonight?

Yes.

Two tickets here, please bring your wife.

I'm not yet married.

Bring your girlfriend then.

I have no girlfriend.

I'll get you a mysterious guest then.

I surely will come.

What are you looking at?

Never mind!

Can't a child see Cantonese Opera?

Sure, no problem.

Isn't that heroine Mu Kuei-ying beautiful?

Yes!

I'll tell her later.

Do you know her?

Yes, long time ago.

Has she any boyfriend?

No.

But she has husband and a child.

My daddy left us.

Are you her child?

Mammy wants me to be a special guest tonight.

I'm Fang Chien-hui.

I knew.

Mammy told me, that you are cissy man.

Careful!

Let's go!

Say something nice to mammy later.

How?

Just say "Well done".

But she fell down!

We just want to make her happy.

How? Show me.

Say that she fought and sang brilliantly.

Don't mention about her being booed.

Okay. Follow me.

Mammy!

Miss Wu!

Did you thank Mr. Fang for bringing you in?

I led him in.

Don't be naughty, did he give you any trouble?

No, he's nice.

Mammy, let me say something to please you.

What?

Don't worry, I know what to say.

Mammy, you had a brilliant fall.

Nobody noticed it, nobody booed you.

Miss Wu, don't cry.

It's your fault.

It's you to make my mammy cry.

Thank you for the ride.

Right, he's on the way home anyway.

Not at all. It's on my way home too.

Don't be meddlesome.

Clever boy. I like him.

Bullshit!

Ming!

Mom, I'm getting off here.

You have your ankle hurt, maybe I sent you to doctor tomorrow.

No thanks!

After that, maybe we can go for a movie?

I like that, how about mum?

Naughty boy!

- How are you working hard? - Let's go!

Do Do!

Asst. Pilot.

Is him again, that bastard.

Wait me outside, I'll make him away.

Don't take too long.

Bullshit!

Would you like to have dinner with me?

I guarantee, business only.

I've a boyfriend already.

I know, he's not the type.

You will see my sincerity to you.

You know, I love you.

Tonight is better.

Do Do, give me a chance, O.K.

I love you!

Do Do, promise me.

Why you refuse me all the time?

Promise me this time.

I'm very contented.

Do Do, you know. I love you!

Do Do...

I love you, give me a chance.

I love you!

I'm falling in love, who cares eating anymore.

Brother!

Do Do, nice to see you back.

Who is falling in love?

Do you see the pimple on my face?

I ran a long way to get you this knife.

It's really a sharp one.

Darling, have a cup of water.

Thanks!

These magazine are for your brother Sang.

Where does he go?

He's here just now!

Pig-headed is heart broken.

It sounds so sad.

Garden!

Something wrong with Ying-ying?

You teach your brother eating while hot.

Yes, that's my fault.

It's Ying-ying, Pig-headed.

Don't look down on him, he still has a chance.

OK!

What?

She invites me for a game of Ping Pong.

That's good!

But she's with her boyfriend.

Big deal?

He's tall.

So what, surely win?

But he plays Ping Pong very good.

So what, We'll all on your side.

Ying-ying!

Morning!

Let me introduce Ying-ying, my brother and and his financee.

Shame on you, stand aside!

You're wrong, Burly!

We all come to back him up, to show you powers.

What a easy game indeed.

Darling, what do you think?

Compete with him to dampen him,

then play Ping Pong ball to show him something.

If I lose in both games.

I swear that I'll give up Ying-ying.

Well, let's proceed our plan, go ahead!

Let me be the referee.

Sure!

It's ready when I count up to 3.

Ready!

How exciting!

1

1 and.

2

2 and.

And...

3

Very good!

It's not fair.

Why?

Well, let's play Ping Pong ball.

What's going on?

Well, a man of your build. Why can't take this joke?

I'll probably win this over.

Take it!

My brother is younger, let him serve first!

Damn you!

You must be the loser.

Look at your nose.

A bleeding nose...

Did I do a good job?

You people lined up to against him.

Miss, my brother is fond of you.

What do you think?

Don't be hesitate, he's a nice guy.

What are you doing?

What's matter with you?

Come out.

Don't fool shy.

Come on!

Hold her hand.

When you're hot, you're hot.

Date her!

Go ahead!

Go!

And have a good time.

Get going!

You're too emotional. I told you not to see it.

Which stupid Director made the film? Created such a heartbreaking scene?

But it touched you!

Won't you care for some foods?

I want to eat...

- 8-star Cookies. - Alright.

It closes at 10 p.m. We'll catch it.

Mr. Fang, are you so mad about such cookies?

It has been my favorite cookies for 3 years long.

Girls are lucky, if they've a lover like you.

Let me see if Ming's gone to bed.

Wish to have thunder and rain now.

So ask me to stay.

What a heavy rain indeed.

I didn't bring an umbrella, how can I go home?

I'll go and get one for you.

Don't ever find it please.

I've got it here!

Thank you!

Don't mention it!

Take care, it's slippery outside.

Goodbye!

It's lightning too.

It's dangerous to drive to Yuen Long at this weather.

You're right.

Why not stay here to-night?

Okay...

Sorry to give you such trouble.

But you've to sleep in the living room.

Living room?

I don't mind giving up 2 years' life,

if she'd come out, to chat with me.

Mr. Fang, why are you still not in bed?

I can't sleep.

How about a drink?

It's so easy to lose 2 years' life.

Cheers, Mr. Fang!

Cheers!

Again!

What's matter?

Bitch!

Good! Use your male voice to frighten him.

It's time to piss!

300687

Hey, don't call anymore!

You sound so much like my eldest brother!

I'm your big brother!

Now, if you call again, I'll kill you.

Good, what big brother did you mean?

I played a big gang boss to scare him.

But you do sound like his big brother.

Do I?

Of course not.

You're that nice and well-educated.

How could you be that pervert?

If I find out who it is, they'll suffer.

They're really a nuisance.

They're shameless.

I sprained my led and got booed on the stage.

Just because that pervert called after midnight.

Sorry, I forgot to give your pajamas.

Mr. Fang, my husband's dress won't suit you.

Wear mine.

These slippers are my husband's. Please try them on.

Thank you!

Such big size. Is he a giant?

Yes. He called himself music giant.

He's in his thirties, but too highbrow to became popular.

He is unemployed for almost one year.

Recently someone offer him a music director job.

When he found a note of his music had correct, he quitted.

Where's he now?

Learning Zita in India.

India?

Yes, it suits him better.

Because only Indians can enjoy his music.

I like Chinese music, he likes Western music.

So we don't fit each other in fact.

If I have the chance again.

I'd choose a husband who likes Cantonese opera.

I do like Cantonese opera!

After going steady for years, you and Lang should get married.

Wait till he's had some success in his career.

He never sticks to one job.

Maybe he'll change once when he settles down.

I did think over.

I will transfer to office after this flight.

So I can spend more time to be with him.

I don't know what's on his mind.

If I had a girlfriend like you.

I'd have married long time ago.

Time to eat, Master Lang!

Come and pull me up.

I wish that you can act like your eldest brother nice and mature.

Come on, dinner time.

You can marry him if you love him so much?

I will, if you don't change.

Go ahead.

So my brother won't feel Ionely anymore.

He can sleep alone easily.

You think so.

Not chance for me.

Is Mr. Fang Chien-hui in please?

Miss Wu?

Please come in!

Let me introduce my brother Chien-lang.

His girlfriend Do Do.

My youngest brother Chien-sheng, his girl-friend Ying-ying.

This is Miss Wu Fen-fang, she's my friend.

A girlfriend.

Ming, greet them.

Hi, sisters and brothers.

Good, take one and get a small on free.

It doesn't hurt.

It's full moon tonight, let me announce a good news.

My brother and Hung have decided to marry.

Hey, are you sure?

Do you object?

I've no idea.

Good. And you, Hung?

Miss Cheng, congratulations!

Let's all toast for them.

Thank you!

Cheers!

A call!

Handsome, this is Beautiful.

Wait!

Yes, Producer Michael Li?

Me to play the lead? What show?

A legendary story. Can you hold on a second.

An ancient drama?

I'm not sure if I can make it.

Enjoy yourself.

Your 'black horse' is back, go ahead.

It's exciting to make love on a full moon.

You won't know it without trying.

Are you dare?

You scare.

Who says so?

Come to the store and pick me up.

When?

Now!

OK! I'll come right away.

I don't mind your fooling around everyday.

But don't ever do it tonight.

Why you forced me to marry Do Do just now.

I didn't oppose you.

This Beauty of Tokyo Store is my prey now.

I won't miss this chance before marriage.

For your own good, you should listen to me.

Beside your fiancee is sitting outside.

How can you sneak out?

If you don't intervene, I'll be OK.

Even all the wives of the 19th District come.

I'd break off the gold lock like a dragon.

My brother's foods is delicious.

The food is cold, let me replace it for you.

Sit down!

It's getting cold. So?

Did I use the phone too long? Did I?

I'm on serious business.

Don't you think I'm those rich brats after you.

The TV station wants me to do a Legendary story.

I'm worrying how to do it.

It's alright. Let's eat.

OK!

What? It's for me?

What about the other guests?

They're guest, understand?

What a shame, to leave only remnants for the others?

Miss Wu got it for you.

Miss Wu? It's your fault then.

You're my fiancee, you should get it for me.

Don't sob. Don't.

I count up to 3.

If you're not listening, I walk out.

1,2,3.

Sorry, Hung, I'm in a bad mood.

It'll spoil my acting mood for sure.

Sorry!

Do Do!

Sorry, it's my fault.

No, they're pulling each other's legs for fun.

We get used to it.

Yes, we quarrel everyday. We fight also.

We sometimes even end up in hospital.

But it's okay for us.

How about to play a game now?

Good, what game?

There's one game that we've not played for long time.

Brother Lang likes it most.

What's it?

Call that bitch.

And remind her to piss at midnight.

Why?

She's too bitchy.

She called my brother a pervert.

Don't...

Let me dial.

What's the number? What's the number?

300687

How do you know?

I'm that bitch.

So you're that dirty, cheap, miserable pervert.

Ming, let's go!

Fan-fen, listen to my explanation.

Fan-fen, don't go!

Hi... Are we going to a show now?

What show?

Oh, yes, let's go or you want to see how to end it up.

Just now I saw your near-sight boyfriend.

So?

He pointed his finger at my nose, saying that I've taken away his girl.

What did you do?

I gave him a fierce lesson.

I chopped off his finger to make you a gife.

- Bullshit! - Bullshit?

It's still tremble.

Terrible.

I must retaliate.

OK. I'll give you a chance tonight.

- Where are we going? - My home.

Your home?

My papa is away playing mahjong.

My mammy goes to bed before midnight.

A book tells it's exciting to make love on full moon.

What's so exciting?

It hurts!

A kiss mark.

I can't stand it.

Where's my auntie's room?

Quiet!

Auntie!

Damn you!

Auntie, time to get up to piss.

Come in!

Why don't you love?

Is my robe beautiful?

Yes, very beautiful.

When I was small my brother liked me to wear female dresses.

So I like all the ladies' wear.

Kiss this side too.

Piss time.

I got it...

Don't move in unless you're obscene.

Let me see how.

Good, you asked for it!

How dare you are!

Darling, you're back!

Why are you so late?

My glasses? Help me, darling!

Honey, I dropped my glasses.

I can't see anything.

Where is it?

Damaged. Let dad replace a new pair for me tomorrow.

Come in.

I want to talk to you.

Coming!

What are you doing?

Come in!

I'm coming!

Darling, you must behave yourself.

You're my princess like a 1st-run theatre.

But if you're fooling around too much, you may ruin like a second-hand club.

Why are you so quiet?

Why?

What are you doing?

Why are you covering your face?

Don't cry. I just care about you.

Who's it again?

Baby!

Papa!

Papa!

Papa, I don't have such a big son.

I'm afraid!

- Darling, what are you doing? - You adulterer... Don't go!

- Where are you? - I've caught the adulterer.

- Where are you? Say something. - You can't run.

I've caught you in bed, adulterer!

What are you two doing?

Outrageous! Jesus Christ!

What's matter with you? You're grasping your own daughter.

You're drunk, adulterer!

Forgive him, he's in a bad mood.

Forgive him.

I suspect he's having an affair.

Typical him.

When he goes shopping, as wants everything.

So he has to make a choice.

But he can't find anyone better than you.

He'll be settle down sooner or later.

I almost have it.

I've to prepare the special for tomorrow.

Darling, you should angry at me.

But just give me 1 min to explain.

I'm a jerk, and disgusting.

You should be mad on me.

I throught I could be the main cast in the show.

But the Producer told me.

I've a minor role with two lines only, no need to have a script.

Do you know how I feel?

No?

Just like this, a pot of cold water pouring on me.

I felt so depress.

And walked to the Kowloon Park alone.

I saw the lovers walking around me.

Do you know whom did I think of?

I thought about you.

I felt sad and down.

I've no gut to see you immediately.

- Did you finish? - Yes!

The news said the Kowloon Park closed the gutter leaked.

Who said the Kowloon Park?

I'm talking about the Little Kowloon Park.

What that?

- A kiss mark! - Kiss mark?

What kiss mark?

A kiss mark? OK!

That's a lie absolutely.

The truth is you flirt.

Darling!

Don't make face, I won't listen.

Let me go. 1,2,3!

Do you have it? Lang?

Have what?

Scratch?

What scratch?

Have you forgotten that it's our inheritance?

We'll all have scratch in full moon.

Yes!

I have it.

Inherit?

Did you think my brother is lying?

Really?

Kiss mark, go and kiss it better.

The sun, moon... Hi!

No mood to sleep?

You should have it then.

Have what?

Let me see your neck.

No, don't look at it.

So much?

At last, I'm innocent!

That's my first time. Don't tease on me.

None of your business!

Go in and find some medicine to get rid of the scratch.

Say it or not?

Brother, last night I proposed to Do Do.

She promised.

- Really? - And we'll get married this year.

- Good! - Don't be shy?

I've a good news.

Ying-ying and I will be engaged at the end of this month.

- That's really good. - So soon!

I can't come to your party?

Why?

I'll be on my last trip.

Let's celebrate again after this trip.

Let me.

Let me.

Ying-ying, you're a good cook, that's why my brother wants to marry you.

Bye!

So hurry! Bye!

They love each other.

Darling, I have to go back to TV.

I'll give up a ride.

Bye!

Even I only have two lines, but it's still important to the whole play.

- Isn't it? - Yes!

Where is your mom, Ming?

Mom, is uncle Fang!

Tell him I'm out.

Mom said she's out.

Hang up!

Mom tells me to hang up!

Mom, that creep again.

Change channel now.

A letter from Mr. Fang.

Saying that his girlfriend is angry at him.

Mom, it sounds like talking about you.

I'm now introducing a special "apologise soup" to you.

Hoping that Miss Wu will accept his apologise.

This ingredient is 7 red chili.

5 green peppers.

2 hot Thai chilli.

3 bags of pepper powders.

Spicy herbs.

2 old gingers.

And some more curry powders.

Mix it all together.

Who can drink this soup?

Of course not for Miss Wu.

This is for Mr. Fang.

Boring!

I heard some sound of music at a cold night.

Wu's house.

Ming!

Where's your mom?

Mom, Mr. Fang again.

Please listen to all my complaints.

Mom is not back yet.

I'll come right now.

I'm down-stair.

Don't come up, I'm not home yet.

Open the door. Who is accomplished with me in this cold night.

Maybe I should die.

Fang, I'm just back.

My mom...

I know she'll tell you not at home yet.

It doesn't matter, give her this invitation card.

It's Sang and Ying-ying's engagement party.

You can come along, if you like too.

I want to, but up to mom's decision.

Did you see me on TV?

Yes, but I switched it off.

Mammy said it was boring.

Okay, bye-bye!

- Congratulations! - Thank you...

Thank you!

Have a drink first.

Make yourself at home. Take a seat please.

Please eat something!

Auntie Chin, congratulations!

Thank you! Have a drink!

- Thank you! - Congratulations!

I think she's not coming!

Brother, don't be upset.

Do you know.

Miss Wu is a student of my future mother-in-law.

I'm sure she'll come.

Auntie, when will you teach me Cantonese opera?

You sang brilliantly on the TV.

Mainly for women, the 3rd Anniversary special.

It's for fun only.

Okay, I'll teach you Cantonese opera.

And you teach me cooking.

That's a deal!

O.K.

It's just about time.

Let's start the engagement ceremony 10 min later.

Okay...

Ying-ying...

Where's Lang?

What the hell he's doing now?

Why do it on your brother's engagement?

People say it's exciting to have a lover in the public.

You go too far.

What are you doing?

Come here!

My brother likes to do something improper.

But always at the proper time.

Wait a minute.

Hold your feelings.

You're a bastard. Why don't you go out to serve the guests.

But stay here with that whore.

What?

She's the Beauty of Tokyu Store.

I spent 4 months to get her.

It hurts.

You promised to marry Hung.

You betray her when she's on flight.

Is she back now?

It's her last flight, and this is my last strike.

I must enjoy enough before marriage.

She's my prey now.

Take it easy, man.

I better keep my mouth shut.

Thank you!

Let's continue!

The reunion of Romeo and Juliet.

Brat.

- Hung! - Congratulations!

Thank you!

I thought you'll be back 2 days later.

The plane had returned to Hong Kong.

Because there is a thunderstorm in Taipei.

So I can come to your party to-night.

- Thank you! - Where's Lang?

Sorry, I thought it was Lang.

We look much alike from afar.

We look much alike from afar.

Honey...

Mammy, uncle Fang is over there.

Miss Wu, you come so early?

Wait...

Lang!

Not my fault!

Where are you two doing?

Hugging, embracing, and pushing me around.

Don't put it that way.

They may misunderstand. Let me explain.

Miss Wu.

She's not my brother's girlfriend.

She's only a guest at the party.

Right...

Sorry!

What's the matter?

I'm here for their engagement party only.

Not to hear your brother's romance.

Miss Wu!

Sheng, Ying-ying, congratulations!

Excuse me, Auntie Chin!

Have a drink!

Miss Wu!

Miss Wu, that girl is not my brother.

She's mine. Let me explain.

Miss Wu, stay!

What are you doing?

She's your girlfriend! What about me?

Who are you?

Go ahead to introduce yourselves!

You're incorrigible.

Don't ever see me anymore.

Darling, did you see how bad she treat me?

Darling, you're nice, please stay.

Don't feel happy.

Hung...

What a headache!

Where's my brother, help me please!

Brother, it's no fun.

Sorry, I've got you involved!

Let's go, mammy!

Mammy, go! Go now!

Your mammy not in?

Just tell her, uncle Fang didn't call at all. Bye-bye!

Well?

The "buy-1, 1-free", game over?

I'd better give up.

Forget it, brother. It's a woman only.

Come to my room and choose one from my 19 districts.

Hung is a nice girl.

Don't be fickle.

Did you call her to say sorry?

Can't you see I'm holding flowers?

It's good to explain to her in person?

Explain?

Don't say that again!

She saw me hand-in-hand with other girls before.

So what?

She wasn't jealous at all.

No competition gives no excitement.

Things were happening so bad last night.

I know how she felt?

I know her very well.

I even can read her mind she can't get out of my palm.

I also can make her laugh or cry.

She's mine anyway.

I maybe cizzy, but I have brain.

Don't take me as a silly pink panther.

Darling, I'm cold.

So, I'm going out.

Darling, you know that 3 roses mean 'I love you'.

How about five roses?

It means 'I love you very much'.

Now I'm sending you 12 roses.

You know what it means?

No idea.

It means I hate you very much.

How about a gift of love.

- I am so touching... - Thank you!

Shit!

Mr. Pilot, how nice you come to pick us up.

You're certainly a good driver. Thanks!

Thanks!

Damn it.

Do Do, what do you like to eat?

I've never been here before anything special?

The steak here is good.

What about goose livers?

It's delicious.

Anything else?

I want seafood.

Seafood?

- Yours? - Yes!

No more fun, let's go home.

Who's you think you are?

You're forgetful.

The full moon night, my brother announced our marriage.

We're husband and wife already.

After all these foolings, you realize that I'm your wife.

Yes!

Sorry, please sit down!

He's guilty, I'm innocent.

You know how I suffered when you were away.

Every man fools around.

Anyone who doesn't is dangerous.

Like measles.

You're immune only if you've got it once.

I've had it, so I can marry you now.

I'll love you forever.

But you've got herpes not measles.

What's herpes?

It's none of your business.

Shut up, bastard!

Please quiet, sir!

- I don't know this man. - He just walked in.

- Please go out, sir! - Stop!

So you don't know me!

Good!

Sir...

Draught beer, please!

We only serve members here, sir, are you a member, please?

I'm not!

What a bore!

Bore?

I'm a bore but I'm true to you.

Do Do, I love you!

It's getting on my nerves!

I know, but I'm cute.

Take this please, I love you!

It's beautiful, it's big.

A big diamond ring indeed which finger to put it on. This or that?

I love it.

He can't swim.

Help!

If he can't, why he wants to show off here.

It's none of your business.

Help!

Fly, Robin flies... up up to the sky.

Why are you so happy?

- You've bought a Champagne? - Darling,

I've got a lead role in a serial drama.

What drama?

The Brave Archer!

You play Kuo Tsing, the hero?

No, a vulture.

- Vulture? - Vulture?

A Vulture with Wong Yat-wa.

The Vulture is cute.

If I did it well.

I'd co-star with Lau Tack-wa in Brave Archer II.

When I was taking the stills, they called me a silly vulture.

What does it mean?

Darling, what does that mean?

I don't know!

Never mind, take the Champagne.

Up up... to the sky.

Deal?

Me?

Yes, I got the deal.

The Editor promised to put Pig-headed on the press.

You see.

Congratulations!

Want to celebrate for me?

Everybody let's see the garden!

Brother is playing a sad song.

Go and comfort him.

Brother...

Let's go and give some comfort.

Brother, if Miss Wu doesn't love you.

Why not get another girl?

Don't be so old-fashioned.

Brother Lang got a lead role to-day.

And my comic is being published.

Let's celebrate together.

Congratulations! I've no mood to drink.

I'll celebrate for you tomorrow.

I go and cook now.

- Brother! Hey! How dampening! - Brother.

Darling, let's celebrate ourselves.

No!

Why not?

You've gone too far.

Brother takes up the family burden.

It's all for the sake of you two.

Now you've had a little success, you all try to tease on him.

You're idiot and bumpkin, not him.

We...

You're idiot, I'm bumpkin

Just forget everything.

Darling, what can we do now?

If your brother really in love with Miss Wu.

Let's be a match-maker for them.

Let's explain to Miss Wu.

Mammy's on a charity show with her tonight.

Let's talk to her on the back stage.

Bring brother with us too.

Let's go!

Darling, are we going to "bang bang" now?

What is "bang bang"?

The Champagne!

After they reconcile, you can "bang" as much as you like.

O. K!

Miss Chin, stage manager said it's full to-night.

Is it? Ying-ying and Chien-sheng are coming!

Mammy!

Auntie!

Why you come so late?

Auntie!

- Your make up is so beautiful. - Yes.

Miss Wu, it was only a misunderstanding.

Sorry, I must go.

I need concentration. Let's talk later.

We'll wait for you.

Ying-ying's told me everything.

Mr. Fang, you and Fen-fang are such nice match.

Don't give up because of such misunderstanding.

I'll help you after the show.

Thank you!

What's the show tonight?

What's it?

There are three segments.

I play Sword lover in Hairpin Romance.

Mammy, what happens?

Sit down, auntie!

Chin, your turn!

What's wrong with her?

She's got asthma.

Asthma?

Asthma? What then?

Get Fang to take...

Get Fang to take?

What? My brother's a good actor on stage.

My brother will take her place.

Are you Mr. Fang?

Please do us this favor.

- Me? - I saw you on TV before.

- You're okay! - I can't...

The audience will be impressed if you do so.

Do us a favour please.

Brother, go...

Talk to her on stage.

Anyway, you want to explain to her. Explain to her on the stage.

How can I do it on the stage?

Just let your true feelings flow.

Okay.

My dear Jade, please drink this, as an acceptance of my apology.

Tears over a moonlit night.

It shatters our dreams.

I call out your name and hope to see you again tonight.

I'm sorry to joke on you.

Hope you Fen-fang will give me a chance.

My heart pangs on seeing you again.

Please hear my explanation.

My heart pangs on seeing you again.

No more sweet words.

Don't explain anymore.

Who cares to listen to your reasoning?

You've turned this "Hairpin Opera" upside down completely.

My past has broken your heart.

I'm wrong for disturbing you at midnight.

It caused me a foot ailment.

And results boos for my fall on stage.

Please forgive me!

What happened on your brother's engagement party?

I saw everything that you had done.

Okay, let's see, please listen.

You tried to take her advantage.

She was blinking at you and caressed you gently.

Obviously you couldn't resist her temptation.

She ogled, smiled and elbowed you gently.

I heard you giggling.

You covered it up and said I was muddled.

Wan Sha maid, come and help me to go away.

I'm Ah Wan.

I'm Ah Sha.

We even brought Master Yellow Jacket to be our judge.

There's only misunderstanding.

The truth is his younger brother fooled around.

He did not know anything indeed.

It's all his brother's fault.

He only tried to help him out of the situation, and covered it up for him.

Please don't be impulsive to convict him.

Everything will be alright.

Please respect his wit and kindness.

To help his younger brother out of the embarrassment.

That's why you saw him embracing the girl.

Why did you kiss her without self-respect? I don't care actually.

Please forgive what I've done.

Please don't be jealous.

Please give this matter a second though.

Don't blame on him for unfaithfulness.

He's getting skinny day by day, like an addict's figure.

I hope to pursue the old dreams with you.

Your kindness would be so great.

It's all true. Please take it seriously.

Listen to his love songs.

Please reconcile with him. Please do us this big favor.

Sorrow has turned away, smiles come.

If she smiles, it means everything's OK.

How about this show?

How can I end it up?

May we take this opera as our happy ending.

Thank "The Legend of the Hairpin".

Here we have a happy reunion.

To sing a never ending song of love.

It's finished.

Applause now.

How is it?

I've been worrying while you sang.

- It's well done. - I feel better!

Congratulations, congratulations!

I feel better!

Congratulations!

Help me, please...

Congratulations on your happy reunion.

We know what to do.

Look at her!

It's alright!

I offer two free ain'tickets for Hawaii to both of you, you'll like it.

It's a 'reunion' gift.

I'll take care Ming.

Think about the good time then.

It seems we can drink Champagne now.

Congratulations!

Stop... it's not yet finished.

Why are the subtitles moving so fast? Get down...

Time flies by.

The time flies, a year passes.

Seng and Ying are wondering to enjoy their life.

They will go to Ethiopia after ice skating.

That nut Beautiful is really something.

A movie company had signed a contract with her.

Now she's a famous film star!

My brother is unlucky.

Because Miss Wu's ex-husband, is back from India,

and swear that he'll not leave her again.

He is a recording producer now.

My brother doesn't want to interfere them, he leaves her silently.

He remains a bachelor now.

The only consolation's.

He met her once in the street, they still have the same cookies.

The both still like the same cookies.

I'm the special among them.

Hung brought me quadruplets at a time.

I have to feed them and change liapers all the time.

I'm really busy like hell.

She even told me she wants 19 children.

Am I the luckiest one?