Original subtitles

It's Janay's birthday today and I forgot.

Maybe I can give her one of your weed pens.

Guys, where'd I leave my pens?

♪ Ooh, I love ♪

What?

Go say hi.

So I just be like, "Hey, hello. What's good?"

That's exactly what you're supposed to do.

I'm Ash. No board slides 'til you call me.

All right.

Hey, you've been acting mad sketchy today.

This girl Yvette Torrio's been talkin' shit,

and I'm tryna find her.

Hell no. Let's go get that bitch.

Oh wait, hold on. Lemme just get

a bubble tea really fast.

Yo, you need to watch your mouth.

Your boy needs to watch his hands.

You need to stop talking shit.

Back the fuck up. What you doing?

This is the worst birthday ever.

Oh, it's your birthday?

No way. Happy birthday.

FaceTime with British Models 24/7 www.saucytime.com

Where are you?

Knickerbocker. You with everyone?

Kirt, everyone got arrested.

What?

- No, we ran away. - Yeah.

Maybe you did.

Honeybear called me.

She and Janay and that, uh, that chick Camille,

they got booked.

We got to get down there.

I'm at Knickerbocker. Where the fuck are you?

Ah!

Po-po never look up, bro.

Ugh!

♪ It's a lot of money ♪

♪ Why are you mad like that, like that? ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm in my new ♪

This sucks.

How long have we been here for?

Like, eight fucking hours?

Cool, you're just not gonna answer.

That's normal.

It hasn't been eight hours.

It's been, like, three.

That's it?

This is pointless.

Janay, why'd you have to start shit with that girl?

I didn't start shit.

Yeah, you did. I wa... I saw you.

You were all up in her face, yelling at her.

No! I was just trying to talk to her.

It was Kirt who started wildin' out.

Can you shut the fuck up, please?

I'm trying to sleep.

Sorry.

- Sorry. - Sorry.

You stepped into her face

before Kirt even got outside.

You have no idea what you're talking about.

I didn't do jack shit!

For the record, neither did I.

Yes, you did. You peed on a cop car.

It wasn't a cop car!

It was a regular car.

If I needed an alarm clock,

I would've asked y'all to speak,

but I believe I said "shut the fuck up,"

so shut the fuck up!

Why do you even care anyways?

It's not like you're our friend.

You just used us to help you find your backpack.

I care because I'm the one

sitting here in jail and I didn't even do anything.

So, yeah, and I-I can't believe

you're still mad about Winter Bowl.

Like, dude, are you serious?

- That's... it wasn't my fault. - Please stop, guys.

You know, I actually had fun with you that day, Camille.

And then you just left us standing there

like a bunch of dumbasses.

I wish I could have gotten you in,

but they don't let you in if they don't know you,

- and they don't know you! - Please stop, guys. - Okay?

They were barely gonna let me in!

- You didn't even try! - Yes, I did!

What the hell is wrong with you bitches?

We'll stop.

We'll be quiet. Sorry.

Your girl over here is freakin' the fuck out,

and you over here fighting about a bowl.

What the fuck is wrong with y'all?

What's wrong?

I can't get in trouble.

My dad, he's gonna kill me.

You. Time for your phone call.

Hello?

Hey, i-it's Camille.

Yeah.

It's Camille.

Oh. Man.

Sorry, I forgot to hit you up.

Oh, no, it's okay.

I actually think I'm still drunk.

But, uh, there was a fight at the Dome,

and I kind of got caught up in it,

and I'm sort of arrested.

Sweet, innocent Camille got arrested?

I love this shit.

Yeah, I'm still arrested right now.

I'm calling you from... the tombs?

I'm... I'm your one phone call?

No way.

Okay, okay.

Yo, I got you. Just hold tight.

Thank you so much.

I would call my dad, but he just wouldn't understand,

and I'll get you back, I promise.

Don't go anywhere.

Yeah, no, I mean, I-I can't, but I won't.

How do we get them out?

The guy said $1,000 for each person.

Each?

Yeah.

What?

We can make $2,000 so easily, bro.

I know you like dancing. We could go busk on the train

or we could have a bake sale, or we could sell weed brownies.

Shut the fuck up.

What?

We're in a precinct.

Don't you understand?

Okay.

I owe money for weed.

Okay, sorry.

How am I gonna get weed to put in fucking edibles?

I don't know.

There's never a wrong idea in the brainstorming phase.

That's what Janay always says.

I have the money.

You do?

It's to pay Farouk back for the... weed pens.

If I use it now, I'm not gonna be able to pay him back.

I'm not gonna have shit to give him.

- What the fuck? - Shut up!

I had to take care of some business.

Business that got the same last name as you?

Family business.

I'm going to cash this.

Waiter?

Uh, w-waiter?

Yo, I need the restroom.

So then go.

I can't pee in public.

Listen, Janay, I...

What I did at Winter Bowl the other day wasn't cool.

And, um...

you know, if I didn't say thank you,

then that's fucked up,

because you really did help me out,

and you saved my ass that day.

So thank you.

I appreciate your acknowledgement...

even though I had to get you arrested to do it.

Yep.

But I did have fun that day.

It's all good.

Guys, I got to pee.

Yeah, but, like, I just think you owe Yvette her chance

to say the side of things.

I don't owe Yvette shit.

She's a liar.

Maybe, maybe not.

I mean, like, think about, like, Bill Cosby.

Like, if someone had listened to all those girls...

Girl, remember when I got Cosby'd?

Well, not Cosby'd... I almost got Cosby'd,

because he tried to buy me a drink,

but I was in AA at the time.

Right.

Look, I get that this shit is serious, okay?

Like, I get it, but...

You don't understand, like, Donald is a really good guy.

Like, like, I've known this dude for a while.

Yeah, but there's a lot of good guys with dirty dicks.

- Super dirty. - Yeah.

I mean, like, yeah, there's a lot of good people

that do bad things.

Did you go to the bathroom yet?

I can't. It's too tense in here.

Oh, maybe I should sing some songs

about, like, rain or water. Just pee.

Okay, um, how about, ooh, "Umbrella" by Rihanna?

I could do "Don't Rain on My Parade"

by Barbra Streisand.

- I love that song. - I know, right? It's so good.

Um...

you have any suggestions?

Just pee. Why are you taking so long?

Oh, watch out.

Everybody, shh.

Think of the ocean, baby girl...

a running faucet.

Or the rainforest.

Why didn't I think of that? That was...

Ain't nobody talking to either one of you.

Sorry.

They didn't even ask us any questions.

They came in, and they just took him.

That's not right. That's bullshit.

I know.

Why do police think they can do shit like that?

Uno out. Mm!

Damn, Esther, you're good at this shit.

I got the money.

Great, 'cause I owe Esther 20 bucks.

Dead-ass?

What was I supposed to do, waiting for you?

- Are you fucking kidding me? - You took a long time.

Kirt!

Hi.

Yo, you guys got booked!

Janay, remember when you wild out

and that skateboard went through the window?

Oh, my God, did you know that I was stuck on a...

On a, um, fire escape for, like, hours?

Yo, I'm gonna remember this as the best day of my life.

Kirt! Stop!

It's not me that popped off.

It wasn't me, it was you.

Like, you're so volatile,

I never know what you're gonna do next.

It's called being down for my girls.

You threw a skateboard through a window.

Not for nothing, though.

I had your back.

That guy was being disrespectful.

What else was I supposed to do?

Um, not go from zero to 100

and then get us arrested and then bounce.

Okay, I got away.

I'm sorry. I'm lucky.

No, you're white.

Oh, my gosh, would you rather have it be

that I did get arrested?

- Yes! - Yes!

Okay, whatever.

Peace, you're welcome.

Y'all want to get Deli Mama? Egg and cheese?

Hell, yeah.

Palomino. Wake up!

You made bail. Let's go.

Hey, t-the guy who bailed me out,

is he still there?

I have no idea.

I know.

Yeah, next time, I'll call you if it happens again.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, I'll be home for dinner.

Okay.

You too.

Bye.

♪ There she is ♪

♪ Miss America ♪

Hey, Farouk.

Show me the money!

You know, "Jerry Maguire," man.

Seriously, though, show me the money.

It's only been, like, a day.

What do you think this is,

a fucking 30-year fixed mortgage?

No. My money's past due.

If I don't get it, I'm gonna have to...

Fuck!

Farouk?

Indigo, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Hello?

Yo, Bambi!

Let me see you do something.

Yo, let me... I'm gonna go up there.

Let me see him tre flip.

Oh, yeah, Luis, you want to talk shit?

Let me see you do it.

Yeah!

Yo, Camille.

Looking like shit.

Up too late with Bambi?

Nah, I was, like, up with your mom.

My mom?

Yeah. You jealous?

- Uh, no. - Okay.

Bambi!

Okay?

Hey.

We're just doing an Insta edit.

We'll get you next time. Oh, yeah, no worries.

Uh, how much do I owe you?

For what?

Bailing me out.

Oh, fuck.

Camille, I'm so sorry.

I totally forgot.

My bad.

Yo, looks like you got out on your own, though.

I knew you would.

You're a mad resourceful kid. That's what I like about you.

- Yo, look at this, man. - Yo, dude, that's...

Um, wait, so what are you into?

Like, tell me a little bit more.

Um, I like skating, I guess.

I know that.

Nothing? Okay.

Well, I like music.

I'm in school.

Um, I'm studying music production.

And I want to score films.

I was actually... I have this concept for a movie

where it's a lesbian period piece,

but it's all scored with EDM music.

Do you like deep house?

Uh...

no?

I made you something.

Okay.

Should I be scared?

Holy shit.

You drew this?

This is insane.

I Googled you.

You Googled me and this came up?

- I found your old Tumblr. - No!

And I saw all the Fall Out Boy posts.

Oh, my God.

I haven't listened to Fall Out Boy

since I was, like, 14.

Oh, yeah.

I guess maybe you're not into them...

since, you know... deep house.

No.

No, no, no, this is... This is amazing.

This is perfect.

It's the best gift I've ever gotten.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You like filming people so much.

Is that what you want to be?

You want to be a filmmaker?

Um, I don't know,

but the thing about filming is, uh,

people say things to the camera

that they'd never say to your face.

Yeah?

What do you want to say?

What do you want to say to the camera?

Uh...

Okay, I'm Honeybear.

I like anime and horror films.

I'm kind of awkward, and I know that.

But I'm on this date right now with this girl Ash,

and, uh, I'm trying not to screw it up.

You're not screwing it up.

Ha ha!

Oh! Come on!

Do you have tattoos?

Yeah, I have two tattoos.

I have this one. It says "love."

- Oh, I saw this one. - And this one.

It has a skateboard.

I'd be fucking dead if I got a tattoo.

- Why? - 'Cause I'm Jewish.

What, will you get in trouble for that?

Mm-hmm. We can't be buried in cemeteries.

If you get a tattoo?

Yeah, but I have a secret one.

- You do? - Mm-hmm.

Where?

Like, when's my grandma gonna pull down my lip?

You know?

Oh, my God. That's mad funny.

She'd have a fucking heart attack.

Let me see it again.

How many times you want to fucking see it?

Because I don't be seeing shit like this all the time.

What's wrong?

My friends are getting me tight.

It's okay. I'm here.

But I don't know what to do.

Just... shh.

I don't know why they're so mad at me.

I wasn't trying to get them in trouble.

They should've run away like I did.

I don't think you should worry about it right now.

Where you going?

I'm hungry.

Yeah? Hello?

Something for you to eat right here.

It's not fair! I'm a loyal-ass friend.

And now I'm being punished.

What the fuck is that?

You got any popsicles in here?

I don't know, maybe in the back.

I think in the door.

What the fuck are these?

Those are really strong shrooms, dude.

Why are they in your freezer?

I don't fuck with them anymore.

I had, like, one cap last year, and I could feel my pubic hair.

I don't even have any.

Okay.

Can I have some?

You can have the entire bag...

if you make me cum.

Okay.

Oh, hell, no. I'm fucking Celia, bitch.

No, no, no, I know, I know.

I know you... I know.

Look, I just need to talk to your sister, though.

Okay? Please. Yeah.

We've seen how you talk.

No, look, look, look, look. I know that you hate me.

I get it, okay?

And I'm really sorry about what happened that night, okay?

Look, I'll meet her wherever she wants.

She can bring whoever she wants.

Please, I just... I want to hear her out.

Give me your number.

I just... I need more time.

I'm starting to suspect

you don't think this situation is serious.

No, I do.

Let me show you something.

Fuck, what happened?

What happened is Karl got fucking pissed

he didn't get his money.

I told you... He does not fuck around.

Jesus.

You got 48 hours.

After that, I can't protect you anymore.

Hello? Hi.

Yeah, um, this is Indigo Autry from, uh...

We met at the skate park a while ago,

and you gave me your card.

I was wondering if you still needed models.

Yeah, um... Yeah, I can be there.

Can you tell me how much it pays?

Um, all right, great.

I'll see you then. Thank you.

Indigo, Honeybear, Janay!

I come bearing gifts.

Janay, come here!

Look, I know a lot of shit went down at the Dome

the other night,

and I know y'all are hella pissed at me,

and I know I need to make it up to you.

So what's a better way to repair a friendship

than by doing drugs together?

I don't do drugs.

- I'm good. - What?

These are grade-A natural mushrooms.

A vegan gave them to me.

You know they care about what they put in their bodies.

Kirt, a bag of drugs isn't an apology.

I haven't heard an "I'm sorry" yet.

Okay, fine, I'm sorry.

For what, though?

I don't know! Having your back?

Fighting the patriarchy?

How is throwing a skateboard through a window

fighting the patriarchy?

Yo, she still don't get it.

How about for starting a fight

that didn't need to be started in the first place, Kirt?

'Cause, frankly, mushrooms isn't gonna fix this.

Fine. It's like that, then.

Yep.

You guys wearing bras?

What?

I see her.

She's over there in the pool.

Get in.

Just you.

And I swear to God, if you touch my sister,

I will drown you myself.

So how do you think it's going?

What, you think we got twin ESP or some shit?

No, just body language.

The twin ESP thing isn't real?

No.

You guys are supposed to be wearing bathing suits.

We are wearing bathing suits.

That looks more like a bra and underpants.

It's not.

The bullshit thing is, I really did like Donald.

He's cute. He's funny.

You know, we made out a couple times when we'd hang out.

And one night, he invited me to this party.

You know, it's kind of stupid now,

but it was almost like our first real date.

It's not stupid.

Anyway, um, a lot of people ended up crashing at the party,

and, um...

'cause we were just a little too drunk, and so...

I ended up going to sleep on the couch.

But, um...

Oh. Ooh.

Sorry.

It's fine.

Donald had his hand... in my pants.

He was inside me.

And I pushed him off. I was like, "Get off!"

You know? It's... it's fucking weird.

And he said to me, "Oh, don't you like this?

Doesn't it feel good to you?"

I told him that it was weird, and he left.

Next time I saw him, you know...

I tried to talk to him about it, and he...

He said that I was the one sending him mixed signals.

I was the one who was crazy.

He didn't even apologize to me.

That's when I started posting shit online.

She's telling the truth.

How can you be sure?

Because...

he did the same thing to me.

What's up, Kirt?

Heard you were in a time out?

Yeah, where'd you find the rat?

She found me.

I would never do anything to hurt you, Janay.

You are my best friend.

You can't blame yourself for this.

Are you like, mad at me?

I knew this would happen.

Chicks always start bugging over nothing.

What?

Where are you going?

I have a job.

You took the job?

I have debt!

Oh shit.

What, who are we hiding from?

Look, I don't need to explain myself.

Honeybear!

Are you serious?

Yo!

*BETTY* Season 01 Episode 04

Episode Title: "The Tombs" Aired on: May 22, 2020

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