Original subtitles

Welcome to the 100th episode of Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda,

please stay tuned after the show for a special thank you from us to you.

Let's bring it.

Harper, what does it look like?

Definitely smaller than a breadbasket and bigger than the tip of my nanowelder.

You don't know?

Don't know? Easy, those are harsh words when you're talking to a genius.

Let's just say I'm on the cusp of knowing.

You don't know.

Semantics. Just...

Just check your diagram.

Something's got to connect to this bugger.

I am checking my diagram.

Good, because if we find it,

full power to the slipstream core is just a hop, skip, and a jumper switch away.

I don't need a pep talk, okay?

This is kind of like old times, isn't it?

Remember the first time we had trouble with the slipstream core?

We have always had trouble with slipstream.

And then it turned out all we had to do was eject it.

How many times do you think we ejected that slipstream core?

Dylan?

Andromeda?

I'm going to need a little help here.

The universe is a dangerous place.

But in our future, my crew and I fight to make it safe.

I am Dylan Hunt, captain of the Andromeda Ascendant, and these are our adventures.

Andromeda? Doyle?

Yes, Captain. Yes, Captain.

I have a little situation here.

We've got your location. Great, all right.

Just blast me an exit out of this place and find Rhade. He's here somewhere.

Weapons fire will be reliable.

I could give you a percent.

As could I.

Oh, for the love of... You know, just find Rhade!

Harper?

Harper, do you copy?

Dylan?

Harper. You're breaking up.

Harper!

Beka, do you copy?

Beka?

Do you copy, Beka?

Beka!

This should never end.

Is that a proposal?

Because, you know, I don't believe in marriage.

I agree.

But love, what do they say?

It's merely a trick our DNA plays on us to replicate itself.

Now, that is cold, Peter. That is very, very cold.

But, you're enjoying yourself.

Dylan!

Dylan!

We have got to work this out.

Are you suggesting a compromise?

No, a solution, now.

I suggest leveling the playing field by scrambling all communication,

and blast Seefra 5 with a gaussian noise field.

Or shift the wavelength of the comm link, focus the beam, and we'll cut him out.

Or kill all non-essential power supplies and draw power to the weapons system.

Or discharge the magnatron capacitor bank for a single surge of power.

Or do you mean a single high power blast

Will perhaps result in enough power to create an opening.

What year is this?

Umm...

Okay, well...

Okay, umm...

Well, the Seefrans think it's 341 AT9.

But me, I'm not so sure.

This place is very weird.

You're weird.

Tell me about Rhade.

That's quite a mood killer.

Forget it.

Let's instead get back to letting our DNA play tricks on us.

I only want to know what you want me to forget.

Andromeda.

Dylan should be near the Vedran chamber.

Triangulate his exact position and open me up a hole.

A strike will only make matters worse.

What's worse than dead?

Efforting.

It's a rhetorical question. Just open me a hole.

Double checking.

Triplification. How thorough.

Entity of perfect. Rhade, we are nearing commencement.

Forget it.

Fire in the hole.

Funny meeting you here.

It's so funny... I forgot to laugh.

So are you going to stand there all day or are you going to get me out of here?

The mother of us all.

Ow!

Ow!

You don't pay me enough to carry you.

Thank you.

Now what?

That.

Got it.

What is it?

It's full power...

hopefully.

He's not hurt.

I heard that.

Pretty hairy down there, huh?

At least we found what we were looking for.

And Beka just didn't even respond?

Not a beep or a peep.

This is worse than I thought.

You're sure that guy's not a Nietzschean?

Ask him yourself.

Telemachus and Seamus.

Just the pair I've been looking for.

The Nietzschean and the Human.

From Earth, right?

Yeah, but we're a long way from there, aren't we, pal.

Yeah. Well, you know what they say about Earth, don't you?

If I had a place in hell and a place on Earth,

I'd live in hell, and I'd rent out the place on Earth.

It wasn't always like that, though.

The scum of the earth, lowlife Nietzscheans,

no offense, Rhade, turned it into hell.

The whole planet?

Oh!

Extraordinary.

Extraordinary?

Some of us who remember don't take it so lightly, okay?

So...

maybe choose your words a little more carefully

when you're talking about things like the guillotine, crucifixion, castration.

They were busy then.

You've got a big mouth.

You think you can walk in here like you own the place.

Guess what? I'm going to slap your pretty face into hamburger meat.

Dial it down, Harper.

No one's saying it was right.

You tell him to dial it down.

A lot of unrecognized anger.

See, that's what I like about you and Beka.

Your control makes you feel superior...

better.

Where is Beka?

She dropped me off while she makes a...

cargo delivery.

I... I have to ask.

What is the deal with these?

They're boneblades.

It's a Nietzschean thing.

For fighting. For starters.

Mission accomplished, Captain.

We are within reach of full power.

No, we are already there.

Let us proceed.

Ah, ah. First, get the crew up here.

I want everybody to enjoy the show.

Trance, isn't it?

The resident mystery woman.

So they say.

Why do they call you that?

Mostly out of boredom, I'm sure. There's not much to do on Seefra.

Don't I know it.

Yet, they seem to...

respect you.

Well, they are my friends.

What do you know of your past?

I'm not sure. Why do you ask?

How could you not know?

I'm not supposed to say.

Shh.

Really?

There's something wrong here.

Now I know why they are your friends.

Because...

you're right.

Beka?

Peter. Miss me?

Absence is the essence of desire.

Are you trying to make me miss you?

No, I'm testing you.

Oh. Test away.

It...

requires you to be ever present, more present than you've ever been.

Okay, Peter, stop being weird. What is it?

If you land the Maru, you die.

I've put explosives on your ship. If you try to communicate with anyone, you die.

It will detonate if you try to use your comm.

What are you talking about?

If you don't figure this out,

you will die...

in... a matter of minutes.

This is your final test.

There've been others?

Of course.

I had to know how you would react.

You have got to be kidding.

Try me.

You're messing with the wrong person, Peter.

Peter! Peter!

Fascinating.

Fascinating?

Rhade, could you stand up, please?

Go away.

I'm serious. I just want to try something.

What the hell are you doing?

Just curious.

Excellent.

Ah!

Ow!

Fight back!

You remember this?

Never trouble trouble...

Till trouble troubles you.

I made that up!

Right.

Perfect!

You...

are practically... perfect.

If you don't stop, I won't either.

You...

You are everything I've dreamed of.

And you are a nightmare.

Try and use that, and I will kill you.

Okay, stop. Stop. I can do so much for you.

Beyond a good workout?

Beyond what you now only hope for.

You... are a piece of work.

A lover, fighter, drinker.

Handsome, violent.

I bet...

that you could hold your breath for the whole nine minutes it takes to cook a loon egg.

And then if I were starving, you'd make me beg for it.

I can smell your adrenaline.

Can you smell mine?

I am you.

I...

am...

you.

You are insane.

Insane? Well, isn't that what life on Seefra is all about?

Come on, stay patient. I can fix your life.

You don't have that much faith in Dylan anyway, do you?

I believe in myself.

Then you believe in me.

Choose me.

Why?

Because you've grown weak.

Look, you follow, Rhade. I've seen you with Dylan.

He's your problem

Don't you know where he'll lead you?

Down an endless shaft, and that's exactly what you'll end up with.

The shaft.

Deep, lonely, alone.

I have my own life.

No!

No, Rhade.

You are an incomplete.

I think we're missing one.

Beka is not responding.

Maybe she can't.

Andromeda, open a comm channel and override any privacy blocks.

Ah, the course of true love with a jerk never runs smooth.

Practically gallops with Beka.

Doyle.

Opening a communication channel.

Thank you.

Beka, your failure to report indicates a lack of interest in leaving the Seefra system,

so maybe you just want to stay here.

Nothing here. Nothing there. Nothing.

Beka, are you all right?

Sorry, Dylan.

Great. Leave it to Beka to find trouble in all the wrong places.

We have her location.

Communication channels are all functioning.

She is choosing not to reply.

Or she is compelled for other reasons.

The answer is quite simple, really.

It's Peter.

Self-centered jackass.

Just because he's weird does not mean he's the problem.

Unfortunately, Doyle, in Beka's case, it does.

Oh!

My love, how goes the struggle?

You know, I'm enjoying this.

I am very proud of you.

You're hanging in there. Very good.

Peter...

what did you do?

Incoming communication from Seefra One.

Really?

On screen.

Dylan Hunt.

Captain Dylan Hunt.

Now, I have what you're looking for.

Buddy, I don't even know what I'm looking for.

Beka is mine, and now...

I've got you too.

What the hell are you talking about? Beka is yours, and now so am I?

Look, pal, as for Beka, you can have her. Me, I'm not that easy.

So tell me, what year do you think it is? Where do you think you are?

When I arrived here, when I bumped into Rhade, I couldn't believe it.

And then Beka. Pha! It was fate.

It always is.

How long have you been here?

Long enough to get to know your friend Flavin.

That's when all your problems started.

So I got rid of him when he told me all about you,

and you, my friend, are trouble.

So...

give me your ship and everything you have, or you will ruin my future.

You must be confusing me with someone who gives a ship.

Besides, Andromeda won't help you.

Yeah, but it won't help you either.

That's my point. it's all you have.

I've seen Rhade. A tremendous, wonderful fighter, and Beka?

Oh!

I have never seen such great survival skills in someone so beautiful,

and now it is my turn to have you.

Aw, jeez, if only insecure bozos did it for me, I'd be the happiest guy in space.

I have mastered the Route of Ages.

It's allowed me to search.

Beka told me that's how you got here too, but it was an accident.

I stole the travel technology from the Vedrans,

they were very, very sloppy,

and that was some sixteen generations ago for you,

but for me, it was nearly yesterday.

I can come and go to Seefra from the other side,

your old stomping grounds?

That's the future for me.

Who is this guy? Why is he after us?

The Androme is worth nothing?

To anyone but us who know its operations.

Well, on the other hand, maybe things with Beka went worse than we thought.

We've all seen her temper. Imagine being her boyfriend.

There's something else.

Information on this man is vital.

He called himself a Routist.

Well, if we find out where he's from, maybe we'll find out what he's up to.

We have to think of him in a different way.

And Beka?

And why she's not communicating.

Well, it's like Trance said.

Maybe she can't.

Beka? I'm used to you not talking to me, but this is ridiculous.

God knows why you're not talking but...

in case you're listening, what the hell, here's some good news.

I believe I can get Andromeda up to full power again.

Mmm hmm.

And that helps me how?

It's complicated, but...

Of course it is.

See, the gravity field generator is working great,

but the plasma stream, it's not a stream, it's barely even a dribble.

So, all I have to do is align these two cubes,

thank you very much, Dylan,

and place them inside the stream,

without severing my hand, and boom! We should be in business.

However, if the cubes are out of whack by even two nanometers or more,

it'll generate a spherical aberration, defocussing the stream, and killing us all.

I guess it's just like any other week.

Oh, my god.

My adrenaline is pumping at death crisis rate. I still have no idea what he's talking about.

Don't worry, Beka. We'll get you out of this.

Harper.

Harper, God bless your pointy little head.

Great!

Now at least if the engine blows, I'll be safe.

Andromeda.

Andromeda, come in.

Andromeda.

Well, ain't my face red.

Another boyfriend bites the dust,

and this one actually tricked me into thinking I couldn't communicate.

Communication, Beka, is the key to any relationship.

Thanks, Dylan. It's great to hear from you too.

Look, I...

Look, I don't know what's supposed to happen next.

Peter has been a very busy boy.

Yeah. Well, we're coming to get you.

No! No, don't come and get me.

I may end up in a million pieces.

If I land the Maru, apparently I blow up.

Come on, you don't believe that. It's another trick.

Maybe if we ask him nicely.

Being nice to him is what got you in this mess.

No, Dylan, don't come for me.

Just get Peter.

All right. Keep flying, conserve fuel.

You're preaching to the choir.

You know, Peter's moves are a little too familiar.

Captain, I can specifically identify these manoeuvres.

Go on.

Ayn Rand Station discussion, Strategies of Horror, Alarm,

intimidation in the outer sectors.

Nietzschean?

Yeah, well, we know Peter's not Nietzschean.

We most certainly do not.

No boneblades. Believe me, Dylan, I would know.

Doyle, Trance,

run the DNA comparisons for every Nietzschean that's ever been on board Andromeda.

So, give it to me straight, folks. will I live?

Will I ever play the Perseid love harp again?

You'll live alone with someone else.

What?

We've analyzed a sample of your DNA.

An interesting coincidence. We have matches.

Just when I was starting to feel special.

Of former crew members, there are DNA matches with three.

Really?

I didn't know I had relatives on the Andromeda.

Gaheris and Telemachus Rhade, Tyr Anasazi, and, ironically, Tamerlane, Tyr's child,

whose DNA matches Drago Museveni's.

What is it that they say?

All things are relative?

Anger. I like it.

Better yet, Nietzschean anger.

Intriguing.

What did you do to Beka's ship?

Nothing.

What?

Nothing.

Who are you?

And what are you?

I am you.

And you're finished.

Well, if I am, you are.

Fine.

You're not getting it, are you?

I'm disappointed.

I'll work on it.

I guess I'll have to.

Without me, you're dead.

Boo!

You know, by now, I know you've figured it out.

Figured what out?

You know, I'm really trying not to be disappointed.

Join the club.

Nevertheless.

I'm still going to build my church upon you.

Is that what we were doing.

Our children will never feel pain.

I will bioengineer immune systems,

and defensive nanobots that could stop a biological attack.

These nanobots will repair damage internally. You will live forever.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but you've turned out to be a total whack job.

You are the one.

You will be the mother of my race.

A new race.

Hey, lover boy.

It's time.

You know, it is absolutely stunning...

how well you've done. I would never have thought that it would turn out this well.

I'm talking about the future.

I know your real name,

and I know what you become.

A failure.

Impossible.

I live with the impossible...

every day.

Dylan.

You can't kill me.

Or rather, should I say, you won't.

I forbid it.

You'll have to let me go, and you know it.

Yeah, but I'm just going to live in denial for a while.

Despite what's happening to Rhade.

Because of what's happening to Rhade.

Dylan!

You know, the question is...

do you have the guts?

Well, let's play chicken.

Andromeda.

Go!

Let's get Beka.

Time to target, three light minutes.

Vectoring at forty eight PSL.

But what if there is a bomb?

Just trying to get her could kill her.

I'm open for suggestions.

Well, Peter could be bluffing about one thing and not another. We've seen that before.

I suggest we find her first.

Then rely on the Captain's instincts.

Instincts? Lucky guess? I feel that we're on the right track.

You know, you'll lose everything.

I already have.

- We are at full power. - Here we come, Beka.

Beka, we are set to scoop you up.

You're all set to kill me, you mean.

Here we go.

Doyle, no!

I'm not allowed to take no for an answer.

You're killing your friends.

No. I'm killing a bad dream.

Dylan!

Please.

Beka, do you copy?

Beka, we are launching bucky cables. Repeat, we're launching cables.

Hold on, Beka.

If you do this, and you kill me...

We will always think fondly of you.

This is humiliating on so many levels.

You won't do it.

Dylan!

You fool.

Please.

Stop!

Ah, guys.

Please...

have mercy.

Say that I win.

I will not.

I have no choice.

What?

Bring me back! Bring me back!

You win.

Okay?

You, you win.

No!

From here to back where you came from, it is over for the Nietzscheans.

Your loss will be your eternal defect, and it will be with you, in your memory, forever.

I have made you and your race genetically enhanced losers.

It's funny meeting you here.

So funny I forgot to laugh.

You'll never get back.

See you on the other side.

You can't outrun us, Beka.

Give it up, Beka. It's going to be okay.

Got it.

I'm warning you guys, this is not a good idea.

You want the upside or the downside?

Up, please.

If we ever get back to our old fight,

the unification of the Nietzscheans will be easy,

because the Nietzscheans will never attack you.

I don't follow.

Beka...

you...

are the Alpha mom of all Nietzscheans.

That's why Peter took your DNA.

Wait a minute, but

I thought you said the Mother of all Nietzscheans, but you said...

but...

But, but Drago Museveni's the Father of all Nietzscheans.

So Peter is...

Mmm hmm.

Oh!

That's just perfect.

Excuse me.

Did you have to tell her? I mean...

you've created a monster.

Sure, a cute, lovable, sometimes friendly, but a monster. She'll be impossible now.

If I could sweat, I would.

I'm going to be sick.

So now what?

With Andromeda at full power, we should probably be able to get back to the other side.

Probably.

So this has been quite a year.

Yes, it has.

First I find a family, a father, and...

now my DNA is spread like jam over sixteen generations of Nietzscheans.

Mrs. Drago Museveni.

Don't start.

I know... I really know how to pick them.

Hey, you picked me, didn't you?

Round and round we go.

Thanks again! Here's a gift from us to you.

That wasn't supposed to happen!

Boo!

Ah! Kidding!

Ow!

Are you okay?

Oh! I'm so sorry!

Did I hit you?

Oh!

Everything within these walls survive the fall.

All right, here we go!