Original subtitles

MONOLOGUE

Story, Script & Direction: Adoor Gopalakrishnan

They call me... Ajayan.

I am also known as Ajaya Kumar.

Neither my mother nor father gave me this name.

I have no known mother or father.

Perhaps...

the woman who gave birth to me...

paid a price...

for my birth.

That woman...

unburdened her shame...

in the labor room of this hospital...

and escaped into anonymity.

Doctor-Uncle!

He was not to be seen. He had crawled his way into the ward!

I gave him one!

Why did you hurt him?

From now on your uncle will see that no one hurts you.

I surely wasn't the first baby to be abandoned in this hospital.

But I don't know why I wasn't placed in an orphanage...

or given in adoption.

When Doctor-Uncle retired he took me away with him.

Ajayan... Ajayan.

Is there no school today?

C. Krishnan Kutty? -Present, Sir!

R. Ajaya Kumar? -Present, Sir!

Mustafa S. K.? -He hasn't come.

May I enter, Sir?

No. Wait there.

Then shall I leave, Sir?

Silence!

Stand in that corner!

Let us go over the previous lesson.

Name the first published work in the Malayalam language.

The Essence of the Holy Bible!

Where was it printed?

Italy! Written and published by Fr. Clement.

Next question. Ajaya Kumar need not answer.

"Constructing historical fiction is like retrieving a sunken ship."

What does the author mean?

May I sit if I answer correctly?

The author...

uses the ocean as a symbol of our memory.

The ship stands for historic events.

A good writer recollects events of the historic past and...

with imagination and artistry reconstructs them into fiction.

Blockheads, sit down.

To rescue a sunken ship...

you have first to gauge the depth of the ocean.

I am not flattering myself.

Both in studies and sports...

There was no one who could better me.

In a way, that distinction was my undoing.

First: Sunil K. N.

Second: Matthew Verghese

Third: Mukundan

Sir, I came in first.

You must observe the rules. Who asked you to turn back?

You had to prove you were that good?

Where's the rule against it?

Here I specify the rules.

Then make the others run!

You're a sharp lad. Come along.

You little bastard!

Don't you dare show your face around here again!

Damn your aim!

If you keep winning every game, how can we run a show?

I warn you, don't show your mug here again - ever!

How about your shirt? Not bathing?

I'll bathe from the steps. -Then you keep count!

Start the count as soon as we dive under.

One, two, three...

Fifty-five...

Sixty-seven...

Sixty-eight...

How far did you count? Start again, and don't stop!

The truth is that I agreed to sing in this concert...

because it also gave me the chance to meet you.

I thought you wrote me the usual polite letter...

Now that you're relatively free...

stay here a few days.

Fit as a fiddle!

Will you teach me to sing?

You wish to learn?

We can see to that.

The boy has talent.

Walk slower, Lata. I can't catch up!

I said to call me "sister." You must respect your elders.

Why should I? It'll never happen!

For two days I've been waiting to give you this novel.

Is it good?

Meaning?

The story's a bit improbable.

No book is good enough for you, Ajayan.

Let me read it and see.

And the book you said you'd give me?

It's an interesting story.

Doubt you'd like it though.

Let me read it first.

Aren't you going to sleep?

Switch off the light.

Ajayan...

Never mind.

No letters today?

Did you give one to Lata? -No.

Did you give her letters from anyone else?

Speak up!

Just a little boy and already up to mischief.

Will you meet Lata again?

No!

Now you may go. Here are your books!

"Tom Sawyer was feeling miserable.

"Monday mornings always found him so...

because it started another week's slow suffering in school."

"He generally began that day with...

wishing he'd had no holiday on Sunday."

R. Ajay Kumar - the headmaster wants you.

"It made the going to school again so much more painful."

Hold out your hand!

You threw a stone at M. P. Verghese?

He hit me... beat me up!

I didn't ask you that. Did you throw it?

Yes, I did.

Will you do it again?

Yes, if they bully me for no reason.

Impudent!

Enough!

I don't know the reason...

even in my own age group there was no one I could call...

a true friend.

I had nothing to say to them.

Nor had they anything to offer me.

Actually...

my only friends were Balu, then a medical student,

who stayed with us over his vacations, and...

Doctor-Uncle himself...

with whom I went for evening walks.

Do you remember your mother?

Yes.

I was ten years old when she died.

Why do you ask?

Everyone says that she was very loving.

One must be blessed to have such a mother.

The woman who gave birth to me...

if ever we meet I'll strangle her!

Selfish brute!

Doctor-Uncle's death was intentionally conveyed late to me.

Who was he to me anyway?

My uncle?

My foster father?

Or my real father?

Why did they do this?

Deny me even a last glimpse of him?

At least you, my brother...?

In one way father was lucky.

He wasn't bed-ridden, even for a day.

He died of cardiac arrest. It was over in minutes.

I wrote you a telegram but...

my uncle stopped it from being sent.

Ajayan, were you here to take part in the last rites...

It would have created many problems and questions.

You're up early.

Early? It's noon now.

In all my life...

I've not tasted tea this good!

Not so loud. Flattery might go to her head!

Have you studied singing?

A little.

Do you sing?

Have you studied it? -A little.

I've not heard you sing.

With your talent, why didn't you study further?

Doctor-Uncle didn't favor the idea.

That's a lie.

You see...

He is gifted in so many ways, but to what end?

Had I half his talent, I would have gone very far.

Haven't you already?

That's hard work. Talent is one thing, endeavor another.

You think very highly of your brother.

What are you staring at?

You bathed so quickly.

I didn't bathe.

Why not?

I... didn't feel well.

Running a fever?

Temperature seems normal.

Where are you off to?

You said your college opened next week.

Why leave so early?

I must go.

All right. As you wish.

If I asked you not to, would you?

I'm looking for a house near the hospital.

I may move in soon after my holiday's over.

Stay with us for the length of your holidays.

I'm going.

Is it because of me?

If I offer a gift...

will you accept it?

Extend your hand.

What is this, Ajayan?

My dear brother,

Forgive me!

I don't wish to hide anything from you.

What use will it be to do so?

I don't know how to say it.

I cannot forget the look of her.

I cannot forget her eyes!

However much I resist...

her presence haunts my mind!

The more I struggle, the more she stays with me.

However much I fight it, my love for her grows stronger!

This letter could have been written to her...

ignoring the respect due to a brother's wife.

But would that do any good?

You are the one who should know about this.

It's like I'm burning all over, with forbidden passion!

I long for you to be cruel to me!

Why did you shower your love on me?

Why make me feel so guilty?

No, I cannot forgive you.

I hate you!

I hate you!

I hate you!

Let me read it again. It can't be from Ajayan.

What wrong have I done?

Had I written such a letter, I know what the consequences would be.

But I could not write even a single line.

What is this?

You've no time even for a letter?

You might have replied to at least one of mine.

Where's your roommate?

He's out.

While you sit locked inside this room!

Change your clothes. Let's go out.

You have no clean shirt?

It's not that.

Then?

I must study.

Not now. Come on. Suma's waiting in the car.

Why didn't you come over for your holidays?

The lady of the house must ask: only then is the point noted.

I came here for a conference.

It also gave me a chance to meet you.

The conference ended by lunch time.

And Suma has already planned the rest of our day!

First we'll see a film.

Later we'll eat at a Chinese restaurant.

Do you have any preferences?

Why are you silent?

My brother must have been very distraught over me.

When I think of Ajayan, a strange fear comes over me.

You feel that way too?

I've been troubled by him of late.

What use is his brilliance?

He doesn't attend classes.

He won't sit for his exams.

In a sense it's better to be less brainy.

Then perhaps a more normal life is possible.

I don't know why but I'm scared.

The story does not end here.

I think there's a lot more to be said.

I grew up in isolation.

In a way, I used to like being alone.

My childhood still lives with me.

Did Balu have a childhood?

To my mind he did not.

My earliest memory of him was of a mature person.

He was studying in a far-off town.

His mother had died when she was quite young.

Doctor-Uncle was always on tour and seldom at home.

Under the circumstances this house...

was run by three elderly servants

with unbridled authority.

The cook, Raman Nair, ate almost all that he prepared.

I never saw that old car actually driven. All the same...

the driver Mathai spent all his time repairing it.

Very few came to the dispensary. It was routine...

for the compounder to sleep all afternoon, snoring loudly.

Compounder!

Compounder!

Go! Go!

Come. Come back!

Stop, I said!

We each lived in our separate worlds.

Are they all for me?

Will you come home every holiday?

And bring story books each time?

Come down, Ajayan!

Here's someone afraid of water!

Stop it!

Out, you brats!

Stop there!

Stop, I said!

You bastard, I'll teach you.

Shut your mouth. Not a sound from you!

Have you ever seen a "Yakshi" (seductive spirit)?

I've not had the luck so far.

At midnight she walks past our porch.

Who told you such nonsense?

Raman Nair has seen her with his own eyes.

Silly, he's fooling you.

Never! Once she was this close and asked him for lime.

Our Raman Nair is very cunning!

He gave her the lime on the edge of a knife.

She ran away frightened!

You believe all this? I'll tackle him tomorrow.

Do that and you'll know.

Be wary as you step down into the bathing ghats.

Why?

Lying in wait there is a water spirit!

What?

Recently a woman drowned herself there.

When we go to bathe her ghost comes from below...

to pull us in!

Who has scared you with these stories?

Raman Nair again?

Who was that?

That?

That's the "Yakshi"!

You came at the right time.

I was trying to see whether I could swallow a whole egg.

Look carefully now.

Not possible.

An egg can't be eaten in one go.

Where did you get all those eggs?

Those? Our driver Mathai lays them.

Mathai? You're joking.

It's true. Look up, there.

The egg would have broken!

Mathai, can you warn me before laying an egg?

With all this rain why draw water?

Who is it? Ajayan? What did you say?

Raining is it? You must be joking.

You're good at making things up.

And here I am dying of thirst.

This boy never sleeps!

What is this?

This? It's a medicine.

Who's sick?

Everyone.

What illness is it for?

Open your mouth.

This is to relieve us of our sorrows.

Will you give me a little?

What sorrows could you have?

I too have my sorrows.

But this medicine is only for grownups!

Ajayan.

Ajayan!

You want to sleep this early?

Don't you want to be like Balu?

Sleep if you like.

But get up early to study.

Until last year you were studying well.

You stood first

Now what's wrong?

I don't understand you. What is it you lack?

You skip classes. You get into fights.

Your marks are poor.

If this continues I'll have to expel you.

What are you up to?

I must see your guardian before you can attend class.

By the time you bathe lunch will be ready.

Take a long, deep dip.

Studying so hard, you need to cool your brain.

Ajayan, coming to bathe? -I've bathed already.

Keep me company then.

When did you arrive? -Yesterday evening.

You are a young man now.

I hear you will surpass your father as a doctor.

She's such a busybody!

Don't you get bored?

Of studying, you mean?

What is it that you want to achieve?

You know what... to be a doctor.

For that you must study all the time.

You can get through easily enough.

But to specialize in something...

you must get top class ranking.

So you'll continue studying?

I want to specialize in gynaecology and...

start my own practice.

Then I'll marry a very rich girl...

a stunning beauty!

Whatever you say. I just can't slog away at it like you.

I don't share your ambitions anyway.

Keep on studying. I'm going to sleep.

Go study, you lazy boy!

Won't lift a finger!

No being a doctor or engineer for me!

You dare put out the light or sleep before I do, then...

you know what's coming!

I'm too tired. Let me off this once.

On one condition.

You'll get up early to study. -All right.

What is it?

I'll spoil the marriage.

What marriage?

Yours, of course.

The beauty with pots of money? I'll ruin it all.

That's if I invite you to it.

Now what? Not asleep?

Never mind. It's nothing.

Speak up!

I'm very jealous of you.

What did you say?

That day for the first time I saw my uncle crying.

I lacked the courage to ask the reason.

Later I learned that...

the Mother of the Ashram had died.

I remembered having seen her just once.

When I was ill with typhoid she came to my bedside.

She looked at me lovingly and wept.

A very beautiful Mother!

I yearned to see her again...

at least in my dreams.

But that was not to be.

After the mother passed away Doctor-Uncle never went out.

There was a strike at the college that day.

I was waiting at the bus stop.

Due to the strike the college was closed the next day as well.

Then David said...

"Let us not dwell on the past."

"Nor on the future."

"Let us live in the present."

"The past is behind us."

"The future is uncertain."

"We have only the present in our hands."

You've been waiting for me, right?

Sorry, I missed the earlier bus.

How did you know I was waiting for you?

Love needs no words, Ajayan.

Ajayan?

Isn't your name Ajayan? -Yes!

Then I was not wrong.

Waiting for her became a habit.

Days went by.

I began to have doubts.

Had I imagined it all?

Tired of waiting for me?

This can't be happening...

Don't say anything. I know it all.

I know your mind very well.

I must be dreaming...

No, Ajayan, don't be so incredulous.

There is more truth in thoughts than in words.

No, Ajayan, I won't leave by this bus.

You say where we are to go now.

Nalini stopped coming again. She became a cherished memory.

Nalini!

You can't believe I am here?

Did anyone see you on the way?

Let them!

If you stand there how can I enter?

This is enough for a scandal.

Are you that timid?

I thought my lover was strong and bold.

What I meant was...

No, leave it open.

You didn't go to school today?

Nor yesterday, isn't that so?

I didn't feel like it.

That's because you shut yourself in this room.

I must go now.

I'll come again some time.

Ajayan, don't think I like leaving you alone.

Why are you back so early? -The lecturer was absent.

Was someone here?

No.

Wondering how I am here?

I was on the same bus as you, didn't you know?

How could you? You never looked back once.

I love the color blue.

The blue sea. The blue sky!

The blue of moonlight. -Your blue sari.

The color of this handkerchief.

What are you thinking about?

Let's stay until the moon is up.

That reminds me - it's late!

I must go now, Ajayan.

Nalini!

Thomas, someone to see you.

My father?

No, I've not seen him before.

Ajayan Kumar?

He wants you.

Come in, please.

I want to talk to Ajayan Kumar.

To me?

In private.

What is your relationship with Nalini?

Are you her lover?

Are you madly in love?

Who are you to ask?

Me? I'm no one. Just her father.

Listen, boy. Let me ask you this.

Will you be able to look after her?

You don't attend classes. Nor do you study.

And presuming you pass, do you think you'll get a decent job?

What's in your mind?

Are good-looking girls all fair game for you?

I hear you're from a good family.

That's why I won't pursue this matter.

Let me just say this:

You have no right to ruin her life.

I...

I know everything.

A good proposal has come for her.

He's educated and well-placed.

She's unwilling, though, no matter what.

She wants only you!

I...

I won't hear what it is you have to say.

I want this affair to end now.

I have nothing more to add.

Ajayan, please...

I got off just to meet you. -Go away. I won't see you.

Come, Ajayan, I must tell you something.

I want you to believe me.

My father died seven years ago.

Who must I believe?

That's up to you. Either that imposter or me.

What did you want to tell me?

Oh, that. Let it go.

If I say that I trust you?

Even then I won't.

You never intended to?

Yes, that's her name, I think.

She's our Laxmi's second daughter.

Only recently another man came looking for her.

The house is nearby.

Walk on until you reach a rice field.

Then turn left.

I'm from the city.

Aren't you Laxmi? -How do you know?

I made inquiries.

Please sit down.

Is your daughter in?

She must be. You know her?

A little.

You teach her typing, don't you?

No.

I am a college student.

Your husband...

Better not ask, young man. He's as good as lost.

Can you call Nalini?

Who? Malini?

No. Nalini.

Her name is Malini. You said you know her?

Malini!

She's very shy.

Come out. He's come to see you.

What's wrong? Why leave without a word?

Waiting for Nalini came to nothing.

She never returned.

My child, Ajayan!

Tell me, was it I who killed Doctor-Uncle?

Did he die because of me?

Who said that?

It grieved my father that you did not rise to his expectations.

Truly, I often felt that he loved you more than me.

I am so tormented.

You were not aware that my father was a heart patient.

Proper diet and luck kept him alive so long.

You at least must forgive me!

We'll talk of that later.

Get a good night's rest now.

Try not to worry yourself.

What was that scream?

It must be a nightmare.

We were waiting for you to get up.

It's almost noon now.

They've come to take leave of you.

What is it?

That sari!

Sari?

Brother?

What is it?

You're not asleep?

I have something to say!

What?

All right, proceed!

No.

It's nothing.

You haven't taken your medicine, have you?

I must leave early. Will you serve lunch?

Come, brother.

Let's eat.

Nalini!

Nalini?

No, you won't deceive me again!

What's this all about? Wake up from your dreams!

You can't fool me anymore!

The truth!

You imposter!

Who are you?

Aren't you going to bed?

Take your medicine and sleep.

What is it?

I have something to tell you.

Put out the light and go to sleep.

Wait!

What I have to say concerns her as well.

All this time...

this woman...

has been deceiving you!

Please go to bed. In the morning we'll find a solution.

No! She must not stay here a moment longer!

I'm telling you - go to your room!

If you don't send her away...

I'll do it!

Let go of me!

So now, is the story complete? I don't know.

I suppose there are some things I haven't told. And others I've forgotten.

...fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen...