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1
00:00:09,730 --> 00:00:10,796
Oh, shit,
I almost parked.
2
00:00:10,820 --> 00:00:12,396
Hey, Morty, hold on,
wat-watch this.
3
00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:13,025
_
4
00:00:20,865 --> 00:00:21,330
Uh-huh.
5
00:00:21,356 --> 00:00:22,533
Well,
I thought it was cool.
6
00:00:22,770 --> 00:00:24,416
So.
We should be in and out.
7
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,487
Simple exchange,
not even really an adventure.
8
00:00:26,516 --> 00:00:28,016
And if anything goes wrong...
which it won't...
9
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,441
jump into the same vat of acid
I jump into.
10
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:31,549
Okay.
Wait... Wait, what?
11
00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:33,381
- Wha-What vat of acid?
- What, Morty!
12
00:00:33,505 --> 00:00:34,426
Close the door.
13
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:35,890
I pre-scouted
this location
14
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,949
and placed a vat of fake acid
amongst the real ones.
15
00:00:37,992 --> 00:00:38,945
It's got air hoses
16
00:00:38,974 --> 00:00:40,430
and a compartment of bones
at the bottom.
17
00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:42,230
If things go wrong,
which they won't,
18
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:43,566
we jump into
the vat of acid,
19
00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:45,301
and I'll release the bones,
they'll float up...
20
00:00:45,541 --> 00:00:47,045
What is this face
you're making?
21
00:00:47,069 --> 00:00:48,170
Aren't you an inventor?
22
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,176
Yeah, what part of a fake acid
vat with built-in air supply
23
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,640
and quick-release bones
isn't inventive enough for you,
24
00:00:52,670 --> 00:00:54,910
and when did my job become
pitching you ideas?
25
00:00:54,940 --> 00:00:56,916
Alright!
Let's just do this.
26
00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:59,316
- I have English homework.
- You're still learning English?
27
00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:01,116
That's the language
you speak.
28
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:03,050
How dumb are you?
29
00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:08,390
Interesting choice
of meeting place, Rick.
30
00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:10,060
You like it?
My grandson had notes.
31
00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:12,390
- Come on.
- Show him the crystals, Morty.
32
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,136
I'll make lots of money
with these.
33
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,736
- I'll make lots of those with these.
- Well. Those are fake.
34
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,806
- Oh, Jesus [bleep] Christ.
- Come on. You gotta be kidding me. Seriously?
35
00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:26,210
You brought fake crystals
and a gun?
36
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,876
Beats real crystals
and no gun.
37
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:30,946
Okay, but does anything beat
fake crystals and a fake arm?
38
00:01:30,970 --> 00:01:32,816
Whoa,
do you know who I am?!
39
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,216
Even if you kill me,
you're a dead man.
40
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,420
Are you serious?
41
00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:37,686
Morty, he's right.
We're screwed.
42
00:01:37,710 --> 00:01:39,490
Let's just end it.
Quick death, come on.
43
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,469
Aw, man. Oh!
44
00:01:42,990 --> 00:01:44,296
Eh!
45
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,820
Holy [bleep]
what the [bleep]?
46
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:51,876
_
47
00:01:54,330 --> 00:01:55,570
Holy [bleep]
48
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,376
What kind of psycho...?
49
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,030
His own grandson?
50
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,310
Guess he took
your threat pretty serious.
51
00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:03,516
Yeah, but it just...
52
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,316
doesn't make any sense.
53
00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:07,050
Well,
he was a scientist.
54
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,716
Maybe he knew more
about acid,
55
00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:11,256
maybe it's like
the most painless way to go.
56
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,390
How could that
have been painless?
57
00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:16,190
You saw that pause
before the bones floated up,
58
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,126
that had to be five seconds
of unparalleled torture.
59
00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:21,396
I...
I can't get my head around it.
60
00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:25,000
I-I thought I'd seen
this galaxy at its darkest.
61
00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:28,136
This is... This is gonna take
a while to feel normal.
62
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,740
We're pretty good listeners,
boss.
63
00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:31,606
Drinks are on us
if you want to talk it out.
64
00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:32,876
Thanks, but...
65
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:35,546
what happened,
it happened here.
66
00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:36,746
I don't want
to lose the moment.
67
00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:38,146
Take your time, boss.
68
00:02:38,170 --> 00:02:39,686
We'll stay here
as long as you want.
69
00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:42,220
Absolutely.
I got nowhere to be.
70
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:50,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
71
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:13,636
CREDITS
72
00:03:15,134 --> 00:03:17,847
_
73
00:03:18,010 --> 00:03:19,790
And then
little Tommy FlimFlam's
74
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,926
running down
the Hyperloop.
75
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,396
His ass is on fire
from Xenon fluid,
76
00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:27,600
but his AI hologram
is [bleep] his own pee [bleep]
77
00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:31,600
- Great story, boss
- Really detailed.
78
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:34,070
Yeah, well,
I got a million of 'em.
79
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:34,698
Alright.
80
00:03:34,741 --> 00:03:36,806
I think I'm ready
to deal with the world now.
81
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:38,050
Let's get out of here.
82
00:03:38,116 --> 00:03:40,550
Should we drop our buddy
in here before we go?
83
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:42,186
Yeah,
probably a good idea.
84
00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:43,270
_
85
00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:44,514
Should we use
a different vat?
86
00:03:44,538 --> 00:03:46,280
Does acid lose its acid power
the more it dissolves?
87
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,816
What am I,
an acidologist?
88
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,486
Here, grab that
ratlike creature,
89
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:50,727
we'll do a little test.
90
00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:55,356
Look, if you're going to test
the damn acid, don't use a rat,
91
00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:56,890
take that ladle,
grab a spoonful,
92
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,090
and put it in the analyzer.
93
00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:03,500
- Oh! - Hey!
- Oh!
94
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:07,260
Okay, I'd say that's
pretty acidy. Drop him in.
95
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,040
What are you doing?
96
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:11,640
- You said...
- Not the rat!
97
00:04:11,670 --> 00:04:12,840
The guy!
98
00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:14,646
Ooh! Marone!
99
00:04:14,670 --> 00:04:17,116
Look at the size
of the bones on that rat!
100
00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:18,180
Oh!
101
00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:20,050
How many sets of bones
this rat got?
102
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,786
And look how
the smaller ones are shaped!
103
00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:23,456
They're like little
cartoon bones,
104
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,720
like if you drew a bone
in art class!
105
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:26,841
Alright,
that tears it.
106
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:28,470
I'm canceling
the rest of my night
107
00:04:28,494 --> 00:04:30,126
and calling a bone scientist.
108
00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:31,196
We're getting to the bottom
of this...
109
00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,530
Jesus [bleep] Christ,
enough already!
110
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,800
- Oh! Hey!
- Whoa!
111
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:54,980
Can we go?
112
00:04:57,110 --> 00:04:58,686
The [bleep]
is wrong with you?
113
00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:00,026
Just admit
it was a shitty idea!
114
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,241
Having a grandson?
115
00:05:01,265 --> 00:05:02,960
A vat of fake acid!
116
00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:04,360
Are you dying
of dementia?
117
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:05,760
How are you talking to me
like this?
118
00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:07,096
Wh-When did you get
so cocky?
119
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:08,696
Tonight!
Tonight, Rick!
120
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:09,836
The night
I saw you fail!
121
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:11,836
- Because you ruined it!
- It was pre-ruined!
122
00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:13,506
Oh, was it worse than
when I was a pickle?
123
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,570
Oh-oh-oh that's right,
you weren't there for that.
124
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,906
Turned out
kind of cool.
125
00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:18,506
- Maybe there's a connection there.
- Excuse me?
126
00:05:18,530 --> 00:05:20,710
What's that cool thing
you did without me again?
127
00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:21,910
The awesome thing?
128
00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:23,846
I-I-I guess
you wanted a dragon?
129
00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:25,316
Mwah. Unforgettable.
130
00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:26,380
God [bleep] you.
131
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,916
Timely, too,
you really got in on that
132
00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:29,386
"Game of Thrones" fever
right at the peak.
133
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:31,456
You trying as hard
as you can to hurt me right now
134
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,920
proves my point.
135
00:05:32,950 --> 00:05:34,256
I'll let you know
when you have a point
136
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,526
and the world will know
when I try to hurt you.
137
00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:39,126
Big man, big genius.
Big lonely drunk.
138
00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:41,396
Hey, save some of these
atomic-age beatnik zingers
139
00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:43,320
for your
English homework, Bukowski.
140
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,270
There's no such thing
as a bad idea, Morty.
141
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,200
It's about execution.
142
00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:52,806
No such thing
as a bad idea?
143
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,410
Except all of mine,
right?
144
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,410
Morty, wanting a dragon
isn't an idea.
145
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,746
I'm not talking
about that!
146
00:05:57,770 --> 00:05:59,686
I'm constantly pitching you
ideas, Rick,
147
00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:01,416
and you act like they're
not even worth thinking about!
148
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,886
What,
the helicopter lawn chair?
149
00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:04,356
That's just something
you saw on TV.
150
00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:07,090
What about my video-game-style
place-saving device?
151
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,426
Oh, my God,
here we go.
152
00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:12,560
It's a good idea, Rick!
A device that lets you...
153
00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,030
Save your place
like in a video game
154
00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:15,566
but in real life
so that you can try stuff
155
00:06:15,590 --> 00:06:17,036
and then go back
to your save point,
156
00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:18,700
yes, Morty,
I saw it on "Futurama."
157
00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:20,836
Oh, so you don't do anything
unless it's original?
158
00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:22,306
I don't do
time travel.
159
00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:24,040
It's not time travel,
it's saving a place in time...
160
00:06:24,070 --> 00:06:26,176
Oh, my God,
is this what you think I do?
161
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,446
This is where the heavy lifting
happens in your mind?
162
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,916
Do you have any idea
how much [bleep] work
163
00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:31,446
would have to go into
a machine that...
164
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,250
Ah-ha!
You can't do it!
165
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,920
I can do anything,
Morty.
166
00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:37,786
Your idea
is not worth doing.
167
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,256
You can't do it.
168
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,190
Before what you're trying to do
was called "negging,"
169
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:43,060
it was called
"reverse psychology,"
170
00:06:43,090 --> 00:06:45,326
and incels didn't invent it,
Bugs Bunny did.
171
00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:47,866
- You can't do it.
- There is nothing I cannot do.
172
00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:50,336
- A place-saving video-game thing!
- You're a piece of [bleep]
173
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,066
- Just say you can't do it!
- I won't!
174
00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:53,200
You won't say
you can't?
175
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:54,806
- [Bleep] you, Morty!
- [Bleep] you!
176
00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:56,940
[Bleep] you!
177
00:06:56,970 --> 00:06:58,570
Son of a bitch.
178
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,870
- So are you gonna...
- Yes, I'm gonna [bleep] do it!
179
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,450
Rick, it's 3:00 a.m.
180
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,456
Wh-Wh-What's going on?
W-Why'd you call me?
181
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,386
You were right, Morty.
182
00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:13,856
I failed.
I can't make it.
183
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,526
And honestly,
I'm pretty ashamed.
184
00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:17,396
That might be why I've been
so aggressive and unfair
185
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:18,596
about rejecting
your ideas.
186
00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:20,596
- Rick...
- A fake acid vat, Morty?
187
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:22,596
Maybe I've lost it.
Maybe I never had it.
188
00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,466
Hey. C'mon. Y-You know
I didn't mean it that way.
189
00:07:24,490 --> 00:07:26,470
I just think we need to find
better ways to communicate.
190
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,336
I'm sorry. I just...
I lash out sometimes.
191
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,940
I-I-I don't know why I do that!
I'm so ashamed of myself.
192
00:07:30,970 --> 00:07:32,140
Hearing you talk about
the vat...
193
00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:33,127
it really
opened my eyes.
194
00:07:33,185 --> 00:07:34,996
- Like what the [bleep] am
I even doing?
- Hey. Hey.
195
00:07:35,047 --> 00:07:37,080
I don't like hearing this talk.
You're a great inventor.
196
00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:38,746
We just got a couple things
to work on.
197
00:07:38,770 --> 00:07:40,616
Let's start with inventing
a little honesty.
198
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,086
- Sound good?
- Thank you, Morty. Sounds good.
199
00:07:43,110 --> 00:07:44,486
- Or maybe I'll just kill you.
- What?
200
00:07:44,510 --> 00:07:46,510
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, Rick...
201
00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:51,826
- Because I [bleep] did it!
- Oh-ho-ho!
202
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:53,296
- Booya!
- Holy [bleep]
203
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,496
You did it!
You did it!
204
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,917
- I did it, you little son of a bitch!
- How did you...
205
00:07:55,941 --> 00:07:58,441
Morty, do you want me to explain
or you wanna go have some fun?
206
00:07:58,465 --> 00:07:59,770
I wanna have some fun!
207
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:00,970
Oh, my God.
208
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,436
Rick, this is...
this is... thank you!
209
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:04,040
You can thank me later.
Go nuts.
210
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:05,240
Best grandpa ever!
211
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:06,980
That's all I ever wanted
to hear.
212
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,516
Alright, class,
213
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:12,180
I know I've been absent
for most of this school year.
214
00:08:12,210 --> 00:08:14,186
I'll be honest with you...
during spring break,
215
00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:15,720
I attended
a renaissance faire
216
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:19,120
and fell in love with a buxom
hand-axe juggler half my age.
217
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:21,126
I overplayed my interest
in her lifestyle
218
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,456
just to get closer to her,
219
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,926
traveling the country
with her troupe,
220
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:26,930
and I am embarrassed to say
I am now an expert blacksmith
221
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,130
with several STDs
and a broken heart.
222
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,736
I beseech your nasty
little asses
223
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,600
to speak on the matter
no further.
224
00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:35,136
Now that that's out of the way,
who wants to do some math?
225
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,406
- I'll do it.
- A bold move, Morty Smith.
226
00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:38,676
But can you deliver?
227
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,210
Oh, I've got something
to deliver.
228
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,610
Ahh!
Oh, God.
229
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:43,546
What the hell!
230
00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:45,346
Aw, goddamnit,
this is traumatizing.
231
00:08:45,370 --> 00:08:47,550
Oh, my God, what's wrong
with your dick?
232
00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:49,686
- Not cool.
- I'm allergic to sheepskin!
233
00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:52,286
Bold move, Morty Smith.
But can you deliver?
234
00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:53,690
Holy [bleep]
I can do anything.
235
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,760
Yes, with math,
anything is possible.
236
00:08:55,790 --> 00:08:57,426
Except a long-term relationship
with a woman
237
00:08:57,450 --> 00:09:00,230
that calls you a warlock
for using a phone.
238
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:05,036
Hi, uh, hey, Jessica.
239
00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:07,090
Oh.
Hey, Morty.
240
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,040
Hey...
Jessica, right?
241
00:09:11,070 --> 00:09:13,310
Um. Yeah.
Hi. Sorry.
242
00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:14,576
I thought
you knew my name
243
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,046
because we've interacted
so many times,
244
00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:18,180
but maybe I was
just being stupid.
245
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:20,516
Sorry. Hi.
I-I'm Jessica. That's me.
246
00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:21,716
Cool.
See you around.
247
00:09:21,740 --> 00:09:23,186
Jessica. Yeah.
I hope I see you.
248
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,190
- Around.
- Guess we'll see.
249
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,590
I think I'm gonna
like this thing.
250
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:51,621
_
251
00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:58,276
_
252
00:10:00,196 --> 00:10:05,658
_
253
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:11,436
Oh shit, suicide by cop!
254
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:12,770
I love these!
255
00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:19,106
You're living too fast,
Morty.
256
00:10:19,130 --> 00:10:21,110
I don't pay for your friendship,
Heroin Keith.
257
00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:22,510
Damn.
258
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:36,683
_
259
00:14:09,614 --> 00:14:11,300
_
260
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,949
_
261
00:14:58,550 --> 00:15:00,056
Oh, hi, Jessica.
262
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,656
Hey, I'm sorry I brushed you off
the other day.
263
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,990
I was just
trying to be cool...
264
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,596
Oh, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
265
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,530
But...
you seem different.
266
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,130
Like you finally
found yourself.
267
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,530
Yeah.
I... I guess I have.
268
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,266
That's good to hear.
I like who you found.
269
00:15:12,290 --> 00:15:13,936
Yeah.
Yeah, I do, too.
270
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,470
Looking forward
to seeing more.
271
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:17,540
I'll see you tomorrow,
Morty.
272
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:20,000
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
273
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,750
How's it going?
274
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:28,150
Y'know, it was fun, Rick.
Real fun.
275
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,286
Y'know I-I-I definitely
sowed those oats.
276
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:31,420
But I think you invented
277
00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:33,356
a little lesson for me
along the way.
278
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:34,890
Living without
consequences is great,
279
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,290
but then I started
wondering...
280
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,696
what am I living for?
281
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,026
What am I building?
282
00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:41,030
If I'm always looking back,
I'm never looking ahead.
283
00:15:41,060 --> 00:15:42,230
And then it hit me.
284
00:15:42,260 --> 00:15:44,700
We are who we are
because of consequences.
285
00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:47,106
You can't live
without consequences, y'know?
286
00:15:47,130 --> 00:15:48,170
You feel me?
287
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,240
Wow.
288
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:53,240
That's a beautiful thought,
Morty, but, uh, no.
289
00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:54,846
There were definitely
consequences.
290
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,380
What're-What-What are you
talking about?
291
00:15:56,410 --> 00:15:58,316
I mean.
You did everything you did.
292
00:15:58,340 --> 00:15:59,580
It all happened.
293
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:00,916
No.
But the... the respawn button.
294
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:02,986
The... The do-over.
It's not a do-over.
295
00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:04,856
You just did it.
Over and over.
296
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,390
What are you saying?
W-What did you do?
297
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,726
I think it's more appropriate
to ask what did you do?
298
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,526
You see, Morty, you weren't
saving your place
299
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:11,860
and going back.
300
00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:13,196
I don't respect
time travel.
301
00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:16,066
If "Ant Man and the Wasp"
can do it, I'm not interested.
302
00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:17,466
It wasn't
so much a do-over
303
00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:18,866
as it was isolating
a moment in time,
304
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,136
splitting your
probable selves,
305
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,006
and shunting you into
to into a near-duplicate,
306
00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:24,606
equally probable reality,
transporting you into it
307
00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:26,340
at the moment
of parallel determination.
308
00:16:26,370 --> 00:16:28,946
Pretty nifty. Time crystals
are a bitch and a half,
309
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:31,746
but the only real hitch is that
there was already a you
310
00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:33,016
in each
probable dimension.
311
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,820
So we had to solve
for that.
312
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,556
That's right,
you little bitch!
313
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,296
It's "The Prestige"!
You "Prestige'd" yourself!
314
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,560
- Rick, how many did I kill?
- You tell me, Morty.
315
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:47,766
Every time you reset
to smell Jessica's hair,
316
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:50,166
every time you relived
a satisfying fart,
317
00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:51,966
that's how many Mortys
you've incinerated,
318
00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:53,236
you greedy
little junkie.
319
00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:55,570
Oh, God...
even those times when I...
320
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,176
Especially those times.
321
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,376
It's over,
Morty. Feel this.
322
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,776
Take this in.
This is God.
323
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,646
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh...
Why would you do this?
324
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:05,116
My hands are clean, Morty.
I gave you a choice.
325
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:06,716
You could
listen to me explain,
326
00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:09,250
in great scientific detail,
how it all works...
327
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,456
or you could have fun.
328
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:11,656
Did you have fun,
Morty?
329
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,326
Is this
because of the vat?
330
00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:14,990
- No.
- I'm sorry.
331
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:16,526
I'm afraid it's too late
for that, Morty.
332
00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:18,796
What's done is done,
but it can end.
333
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,666
The original split
is still timestamped.
334
00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:22,930
I can make it so those Mortys
never existed at all,
335
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,336
make them
purely theoretical.
336
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:25,736
Oh, God.
What do I do?
337
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,206
I think it's clear
you've done enough.
338
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:29,676
Tell me how, Rick!
Tell me how I save those Mortys!
339
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:30,876
You live
with the consequences.
340
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:32,206
Those things
happened somewhere,
341
00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:34,076
but you can merge
the probable realities
342
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,010
so that only one Morty
did them.
343
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,016
Just do it.
344
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,616
Alright, lemme just
sync these up
345
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,016
and get you back
to your dimension.
346
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,950
Wait, so... so you're not even
my Rick?
347
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:43,620
Then... Then why do you know
about the vat?
348
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,020
Every Rick has a vat!
349
00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:56,300
Well, Morty, I'd say
350
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,700
we've invented
a little honesty today.
351
00:17:58,730 --> 00:18:00,436
- How about you?
- I don't deserve this.
352
00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:01,365
I was just having fun.
353
00:18:01,389 --> 00:18:02,385
So was Jeffrey Dahmer.
354
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,710
Speaking of,
time to pay the piper.
355
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:09,246
Morty Smith.
356
00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:11,716
Come out with your hands up,
you sick [bleep]
357
00:18:11,740 --> 00:18:13,586
We're also fine
with just shooting you
358
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:15,386
if you wanna
suicide by cop.
359
00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:16,586
What?
What is this?
360
00:18:16,610 --> 00:18:18,120
Wow.
Looks like a SWAT Team,
361
00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:19,390
some drug dealers,
362
00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:22,456
some grassroots MeToo activists,
the ACLU...
363
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,060
Jesus, Morty,
the AARP?
364
00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:26,730
I don't wanna talk about it! The NAACP,
GamerGate...
365
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,866
Morty, is that Supreme Court
Justice Sonia Sotomayor?
366
00:18:29,890 --> 00:18:31,200
I'm sorry!
I... I'm sorry!
367
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:32,736
I-Is that
what you want me to say?
368
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,136
What... What do I do?
Oof, well, I'm stumped.
369
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,476
Seems like there's no way
out of this one.
370
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,676
Unless...
371
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,076
God damn it.
372
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,146
Yeah, I guess it is, uh...
what did you call it?
373
00:18:42,170 --> 00:18:44,480
Uh, uh,
"A shitty idea"?
374
00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:46,616
- God damn it.
- Say the vat is good.
375
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,550
The vat is good.
376
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:50,680
Kiss the vat.
377
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,156
Do not
go into that vat.
378
00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:56,160
It appears to be
full of acid.
379
00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:58,160
It is!
Please, he's just a little boy!
380
00:18:58,190 --> 00:19:00,566
- Let me talk to him.
- Tell him we're very upset!
381
00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:01,896
Morty, please.
Step back.
382
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,300
That vat
is full of acid.
383
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:05,900
It'll melt you completely,
leaving only your bones.
384
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:07,636
- Goddamn it!
- I'm sorry, what did you say?
385
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:08,840
I'm going in the vat!
386
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,776
Oh! God!
Aw, I blame myself!
387
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,580
Oh, what a tragedy.
388
00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:18,846
This...
Oh, well, he's bones now.
389
00:19:18,870 --> 00:19:20,050
I guess all debts are paid.
390
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,786
Agreed.
He's definitely dead.
391
00:19:21,810 --> 00:19:24,186
Why else
would the bones come up?
392
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,120
While his actions
were horrifying
393
00:19:26,150 --> 00:19:28,790
and we are well within
our rights to be outraged,
394
00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:31,196
I do wonder if we bear
some responsibility
395
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:33,396
for this young man
melting himself in acid.
396
00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:36,266
Are we here for justice...
or something else?
397
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:39,600
"Though justice be thy plea,
consider this,
398
00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,736
that in the course
of justice...
399
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,406
none of us
should see salvation.
400
00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:45,876
We do pray for mercy."
401
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:47,210
"Merchant of Venice,"
nice.
402
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:48,810
Very cool.
Lots to think about.
403
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,616
Vengeance is a tomb,
all-encompassing...
404
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:54,150
Alright, okay, this isn't a
poetry reading, a kid just died.
405
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:57,620
Every... Everybody go home and
hug your loved one or something.
406
00:20:02,580 --> 00:20:03,826
Wait.
407
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:05,160
How do we know
that's really acid
408
00:20:05,190 --> 00:20:07,096
and you didn't just have
someone's bones in there?
409
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,696
I mean, if you're doubting
if that's really acid
410
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,366
and not just jacuzzi-heated
Mountain Dew,
411
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,966
you're welcome
to use this ladle.
412
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:13,836
You think
I'm a goddamn idiot?
413
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:16,100
Brought my own.
414
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,046
Aah!
415
00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:23,246
Oh, God!
Oh, God no!
416
00:20:23,270 --> 00:20:24,980
Oh, God, no!
Oh, no... Huh?
417
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:26,516
I'm acid-proof!
418
00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:28,650
[Bleep] all of you
[bleep] all of you,
419
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:29,856
I'm gonna be rich!
420
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,186
Here's my ass.
421
00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:33,256
Take a good look,
spank it!
422
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,790
Acid proof!
423
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:37,796
Feels like that guy
had other stuff going on.
424
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:40,396
Don't ever
make fun of me again.
425
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:42,266
Ever!
426
00:20:42,290 --> 00:20:43,866
Alright, c'mon Morty,
let's go home.
427
00:20:43,890 --> 00:20:45,466
Wait, what?
This... This isn't our reality?
428
00:20:45,490 --> 00:20:46,870
What, you think
I'd waste our home
429
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:48,536
teaching you
a [bleep] lesson?
430
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,340
I am gonna miss
this place, though...
431
00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:52,476
Johnny Carson's still alive
and on the air,
432
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:53,676
9/11 never happened,
433
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:55,076
and Rocky Road ice cream
has peanut butter
434
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:57,146
- instead of marshmallows.
- The fu... What?
435
00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:58,546
The marshmallows
are the best part!
436
00:20:58,570 --> 00:21:00,420
Morty...
437
00:21:00,821 --> 00:21:04,501
CREDITS
438
00:21:32,734 --> 00:21:34,720
_
439
00:21:37,010 --> 00:21:38,920
Our next guest, ah, gave us,
440
00:21:38,950 --> 00:21:40,390
well, actually,
very little information,
441
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:44,860
ah, besides the fact that he is,
uh, impervious to acid.
442
00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:46,860
So here he is,
he's here to prove it.
443
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,800
Let's welcome this guy.
444
00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:51,136
Let's do this shit!
445
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,536
Now, you're, uh...
you're sure about this?
446
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:53,870
Eat my [bleep]
Hoist me!
447
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:57,206
I did not know that ass
was on the menu.
448
00:21:57,230 --> 00:21:58,606
Don't steal my moment!
Do it!
449
00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:02,676
Ah, okay, then without
further ado... drop him.
450
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:03,946
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
451
00:22:03,970 --> 00:22:06,150
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
452
00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:20,900
Looks like I'll be
eating [bleep] flamb�.
453
00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:23,796
Please kill me.
454
00:22:23,854 --> 00:22:28,240
_
455
00:22:29,305 --> 00:22:35,803
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