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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:03,720 - (PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY) - (CHURCH BELLS TOLLING) 2 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,790 (CHURCH BELLS TOLLING DISTANTLY) 3 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,310 - I have to get the ferry. - Okay. 4 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,550 Bye. 5 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,070 (EXHALES) 6 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,110 (DOOR CLOSES) 7 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,670 (PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 8 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,360 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 9 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,240 (SHIP HORN BLARES) 10 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,270 Morning. 11 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:08,310 Your breakfast. 12 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,680 ROB: You heard fireworks last night? What was that about? 13 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,670 I woke up. I thought I was in a war zone. 14 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,560 I watched them with Yolanda. 15 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,070 So, indoor fireworks as well as outdoor fireworks, I'm imagining. 16 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,520 Well, I don't like to talk about what I do, er… 17 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,990 What happens between me and a woman. 18 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,910 I think it's, er, indiscreet, 19 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,950 but suffice to say, er, I stormed her decks, er, 20 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,630 climbed her riggings, set fire to her mainsail, 21 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,710 - captured everyone onboard… - Slit their throats? 22 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,630 No. No, no, no. That's horrible. No. 23 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,440 I treated all the prisoners in accordance with 24 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,800 - the Geneva Convention. Yes, yes. - The Geneva Convention. 25 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,520 I think she could be the one, you know? Yolanda. 26 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,560 I do. 27 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,830 No. No, I don't think so. 28 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,110 - Too old? - No. No, no. It's… 29 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,680 - Too Spanish? - No. No. 30 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:57,510 Huh? 31 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,280 Oh, I think she's good. She laughs at your jokes. 32 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,320 Which is important. It's important to have a good sense of humour. 33 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,120 I didn't say she had a good sense of humour. 34 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,910 I think when you get older, making it to the laugh is important. 35 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,720 When you stop fancying each other and you stop having sex, 36 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,120 you still make each other laugh. 37 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,350 Or you could probably make her laugh while you're having sex. 38 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,960 Well, yeah, but that's nervous laughter. 39 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,030 You're terrified. (CACKLING) 40 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,110 That's… I mean, you know, a laugh's a laugh. 41 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,400 A laugh's a laugh. You're not gonna turn it down. 42 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,070 Good morning. Kalimera. 43 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,550 - Morning. Kalimera. - Did you enjoy your breakfast today? 44 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,230 - Delicious. - Delicious. Yes, lovely. 45 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,990 Thank you. Shall I have your bags to take them to the boat? 46 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,600 - Please. - Yes, please. 47 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,870 - Mine are in my room, ready to go. - And mine are in my room. 48 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,550 (BELL TOLLING) 49 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,720 STEVE: Hello. MAN: Hello, sir. 50 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,470 STEVE: Is one of you guys Christos? 51 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,920 - CHRISTOS: Yes. - Oh, okay. Hi, Christos. 52 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,760 - How do you do? - How are you doing? Very good. 53 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,560 - CHRISTOS: Hi, thank you. - So, er… 54 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:54,160 We're good to go to Monemvasia today, yeah? 55 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,310 Well, go to Monemvasia is not possible. 56 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,800 - ROB: What? - Because the weather is very bad. 57 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,000 Tell him we have to go today 'cause my wife is coming tomorrow. 58 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,200 We have to go. We have appointments with people. 59 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,840 We have to go today. My wife arrives tomorrow, 60 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,070 so we have to go today. 61 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,760 But you must to take another boat, 62 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,430 - ferry, more big. - STEVE: Okay. 63 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,510 - And you can go by him. - And we can pay for that and take… 64 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,400 - Yes. - And how… How much is that? 65 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:16,910 About 500 more. 66 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,480 - Bloody hell, 500? - Euros. 67 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,920 Pay it, just pay the man. I mean, we have to go. 68 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:24,960 (MOTOR REVVING) 69 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,680 Doesn't seem that windy to me. 70 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,110 Not any more than you'd expect. 71 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,000 I think you might have been conned. 72 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,350 STEVE: It's choppy. There are no small craft around. 73 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,240 Yeah, 500. 74 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,990 I think he saw you coming. 75 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:48,670 You know what I should have said to you when he was, er, asking you for 500? 76 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,030 (IMITATING CHRIS DE BURGH) ♪ Don't pay the ferryman 77 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,160 ♪ Don't even fix a price 78 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,270 ♪ Don't pay the ferryman 79 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,350 ♪ Until he gets you to the other side 80 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,910 ♪ There were voices in my head "Don't do it!" 81 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,070 ♪ Voices in my head, "Don't do it! 82 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,120 ♪ And still those voices carried on 83 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,080 ♪ Whatever you do 84 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,830 ♪ Don't pay the ferryman (YOWLS) 85 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,560 ♪ Don't even fix a price 86 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,950 ♪ Don't pay the ferryman 87 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,160 ♪ Until he gets you to the other side ♪ 88 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,670 You told me to pay him. 89 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,910 Yeah, I know. But I said I "should" have listened to Chris. 90 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,750 Do you know what river that's referring to? 91 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,280 The Styx. 92 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,120 - Do you know what that is? - No. 93 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:38,190 The mythical subterranean river, 94 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,400 in Greek mythology. The river Styx. 95 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,360 You've been reading that Stephen Fry book again, haven't you? 96 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,880 ROB: There he is. (CHUCKLES) STEVE: There he is, John Bonham. 97 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,870 ROB: James Taylor. STEVE: James Taylor, yeah. 98 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,550 - MAN: Hello. Welcome back. - Hey. Thank you very much. 99 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,440 - You have a good time in Hydra? - Yeah, great. Amazing. 100 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:54,640 Excellent. 101 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,840 (ROB SINGING) ♪ Forever and ever 102 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,040 ♪ Forever and ever 103 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,000 ♪ You'll be the one 104 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,200 STEVE: Well, it's not… It's… 105 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,480 (CONTINUES SINGING) ♪ Who will shine… 106 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:05,760 STEVE: It's falsetto, isn't it? 107 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,150 ROB: Well, it gets to falsetto. It doesn't start falsetto. 108 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,640 It's… Okay. It's not… No, it's not forever. 109 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,390 ♪ Forever and ever… 110 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,750 ♪ Ever and ever… 111 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:13,990 Don't start there, Steve. 112 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,990 As… As your proctologist, 113 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,070 I would advise you, do not start there. 114 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,150 Let's see what happens. 115 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,960 ♪ Ever and ever 116 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,640 ♪ Forever and ever (OFF-KEY FALSETTO) you'll be the one… 117 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,160 Oh, now see what's happened. Half the audience has left. (CHUCKLES) 118 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,960 ♪ Ever and ever 119 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,720 ♪ Forever and ever (OFF-KEY FALSETTO) you'll be the one 120 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,080 Hello, viewers. 121 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,640 ♪ Ever and ever 122 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,480 ♪ Forever and ever (IN FALSETTO) you'll be the one 123 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,120 ♪ Who (IN FALSETTO) shines on me 124 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,320 ♪ For all eternity… 125 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,960 To be fair, when Demis did it, he had very… 126 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,190 ♪ Forever and ever 127 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:52,960 ♪ Forever and ever, (IN FALSETTO) you'll be the one 128 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,160 - He used falsetto. - Are you deliberately doing it badly? 129 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,280 ♪ Who (IN FALSETTO) shines on me 130 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,350 Right. Okay, ready? 131 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,080 ♪ For all (OFF-KEY FALSETTO) eternity 132 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,560 - Can I have a go? - Yeah, go on. 133 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,880 ♪ Ever and ever 134 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:09,560 ♪ Forever and ever You'll be the one 135 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,390 He didn't do that. He did falsetto. 136 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,630 He used falsetto. 137 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,030 Did I talk over you doing it 138 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,240 and tell you how to do it? 139 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,430 - No. - No, because you don't know how to. 140 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,670 Well, obviously you don't know how to do it 'cause it as falsetto. 141 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,350 - He went into falsetto. - (IN FALSETTO) Ever and ever… 142 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,960 Yes, he went into it, but I haven't reached that stage yet. 143 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,840 - Well, you did… - He didn't start in falsetto. 144 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:28,910 - Did he, Steve? - No. No. 145 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,120 Did I start in falsetto? 146 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,430 - No. - So I was doing the same as Demis. 147 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,030 And when you got to the high notes, 148 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,790 - you also remained out of falsetto. - Car! 149 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,360 - Out of falsetto. - (CAR HORN HONKING) 150 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,480 - Here we go. - Even on the high notes. 151 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:38,550 Right. Here we go, here we go. 152 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,790 How about you do a sponsored silence now for charity? 153 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,160 - Okay, go on. - Here we go. 154 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,960 ♪ Ever and ever 155 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:50,240 ♪ Forever and ever you'll be the one 156 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,350 ♪ That shines on me 157 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,880 ♪ Like the morning sun 158 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:02,310 ♪ Ever and ever and ever and ever 159 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,870 ♪ You'll (IN FALSETTO) be (NORMAL) be the one 160 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,560 (IN FALSETTO) ♪ Who shines on me 161 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,040 (IN FALSETTO) ♪ Like the morning sun 162 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,790 - It's not castrato. - Wait, wait, wait. 163 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,630 (IN FALSETTO) ♪ All my life and now 164 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,790 - (IN FALSETTO) ♪ I have been yearning… - Shall I call an ambulance? 165 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,160 - Shall I call an ambulance? - (IN FALSETTO) ♪ Every day with you 166 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:27,870 ♪ My heart is turning 167 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,760 (IN LOW VOICE) ♪ Forever and ever… ♪ 168 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,750 What the hell are you doing? You're all over the place. 169 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,070 You were shocked by the power of my falsetto. 170 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,070 (BOTH SINGING) ♪ Forever and ever 171 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:42,000 ♪ Forever and ever you'll (IN FALSETTO) be the one 172 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,800 ♪ Who shines on me 173 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:50,160 ♪ For all eternity… ♪ 174 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,230 (DIAL TONE) 175 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,680 - SALLY: Hello? - Hey, hello. You all right? 176 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:04,880 Yeah, very good, thank you. 177 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,760 - Is everything sorted? - It is. 178 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,800 Emma's organised it all. She says it'll be fine. 179 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,950 - WOMAN: Hello? - Hey, Katherine. 180 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,750 Er, it's… Erm, it's Steve. How are you? 181 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,270 Yeah, I'm fine, thank you. What can I do for you? 182 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,320 I'm trying to get Joe. He's not answering his mobile. 183 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,390 Is he there? 184 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,960 - Er, yep, yep. (INAUDIBLE) - Oh, good. 185 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,880 I'm sorry about your dad, by the way. 186 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,350 Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. 187 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,840 Joe's here. Have a chat with him. 188 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,240 Take care, Okay? Bye. 189 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,640 - Thanks, love. - JOE: Thanks. 190 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,070 Hey, Dad. 191 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,310 Hey, how are you doing? 192 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,440 - Yeah, I'm all right, thank you. - Good, good. 193 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,950 - How are you? - Great, great. 194 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,440 Listen, how's Grandad? 195 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:43,920 Oh, he's okay. 196 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,640 You know, I mean same as yesterday. 197 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,070 He seems… He seems stable. 198 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,230 (SPEAKING GREEK) 199 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,150 What's amazing about the Mani 200 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,670 is that thousands of years ago when it was ruled by… 201 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,550 When Sparta was the most powerful nation state in Ancient Greece, 202 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,680 to be part of the ruling council 203 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,870 - you had to be over 60 years old. - Yes. 204 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,310 - I will be too young… - Yes, yes. 205 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,200 - … to be part of the government. - Would you think… 206 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,240 I'd be like some young rapscallion. 207 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,520 The ruling council would be there in their robes, the elders, very wise 208 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,880 and I'd be hanging around, they'd be going, 209 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,400 "Get out of here, Steve, you silly young thing." 210 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,270 You'd be looked upon as a young whippersnapper. 211 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,350 Yeah, a rapscallion. 212 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,590 - Bit of a danger. - A young Turk. 213 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,800 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Man about town. 214 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,360 It's very in keeping with how things have ended up now. 215 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,590 If you look at the age of politicians now, er, 216 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,320 Trump is 73, 74. 217 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,000 Bernie Sanders, er, is older. 218 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,680 Reagan, when he was President, was 78! 219 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,480 - Yeah. - Could you imagine that? 220 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,760 I would have no interest. 221 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,400 I… I'm 54. 222 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,550 - I don't wanna run… - (SIGHS) Yeah. 223 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,880 I don't wanna run a newsagent, never mind running the country. 224 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,520 It's hard being a politician. You… 225 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,400 You're up at the crack of dawn to go on Radio 4, 226 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,920 - stay up late to go on Newsnight. - Yeah. Well, they're passionate. 227 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,990 - I would rather be at home… - They're driven. 228 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,120 - … in bed with my wife. Asleep. - Yeah. 229 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,160 Well, in Ancient Greece, they drew lots to decide who should… 230 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,310 - Yes, it was totally democratic. - It was very healthy. 231 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,990 But you could end up with an idiot. 232 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,310 Yes, but they're balanced. By the law of averages, 233 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,550 you're gonna end up with some people who reflect society… 234 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,840 - But imagine one idiot. - It's like jury service, isn't it? 235 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,560 - Yeah. - You weed out some of the idiots 236 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,790 in jury service. Any racists or morons. 237 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,790 I've never done jury service. Do you think I've been weeded out? 238 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,430 I don't think… I think you're on the list, 239 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,110 but you're kind of quite low down the bottom. 240 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,190 Is that why? 241 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,470 - I've assumed I'd been lucky. - No, no. 242 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,150 Would you ever run for public office? 243 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,360 No. No. 244 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,480 Because you'd be a great orator, wouldn't you? 245 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,110 - With your skills of speaking. - I don't… (MUMBLES) 246 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,790 You're worried they've been digging through your past? 247 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,870 No, I don't. I'm not bothered. No, I'm not worried about that. 248 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,550 'Cause that's a pro nowadays. 249 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,710 I mean, look at… Look at some of these people. 250 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,880 Look at your Trumps and your Johnsons. 251 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,440 - They've all done stuff. - Yeah. Yeah. 252 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,790 - Well, you know… - They're not on your level, but… 253 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,920 If you think about Heracles, 254 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,080 - he was someone… - "Heracles?" Don't you mean "Hercules"? 255 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,040 Er, if you're using the Roman name, then yes, it'd be Hercules. 256 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,190 - I only know him from the film. - Okay. 257 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,400 Well, Heracles, er, is the Greek name for him. 258 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,990 He murdered his wife and children. 259 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,680 You know Schwarzenegger played him (IMITATES SCHWARZENEGGER) in the movie. 260 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,880 Okay, the labours of Hercules, if you like… 261 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,520 - (IN ACCENT) Hercules in New York. - Yes… was if you… 262 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,110 One of his first movies. 263 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,320 Thank you. From a Christian perspective 264 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,710 is basically him serving his penance. 265 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,360 Can't even imagine Christianity 266 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,160 forgiving a man for murdering his wife and children. 267 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,070 - Well, you're quite right, too. - Well, yes… 268 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,910 Mr Coogan, are you suggesting that 269 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,910 the man standing before us today 270 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,880 who murdered his wife and children should be forgiven? 271 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,110 (IMITATES SCHWARZENEGGER) Hercules, Arnold played him 272 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,920 in Hercules in New York. 273 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,720 - Hercules in New York. - It was one of my first films. 274 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,080 "One of my first…" You sound a bit like, er, 275 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,310 - Werner Herzog there. - That is right. That's what I was doing. 276 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,390 I was doing Werner. 277 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,120 (IN GERMAN ACCENT) It was one of my first films. 278 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,640 It was very hard to do. 279 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,030 I had to get Arnold Schwarzenegger to do it for me. 280 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:00,000 My name is Giorgio. Everybody calls me George. 281 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,000 (BEATBOXING) 282 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,080 - Anyway, erm… - Remember that? 283 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,040 The point is, the depiction of a deity 284 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,070 is one way. It's a flawed individual. 285 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,910 All the Greek gods are flawed. They all murdered their wives. 286 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,800 The kids murdered the husbands, the husbands… 287 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,840 They're all murdering each other all the time. 288 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,400 - Right. - I mean, bloody hell, they… 289 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,960 They even eat the kids sometimes. 290 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,190 ROB: So, so, so you're… 291 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,950 STEVE: And vomit them back up whole. 292 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,680 So, we are going to start with one salad. 293 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,270 - Good idea. - Thank you. 294 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,350 - Thank you. - Marvellous. 295 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,480 Yeah, perfect. 296 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,640 Make some space and put it into the middle. 297 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,150 - Mmm-hmm. - Thank you. 298 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,920 One Mediterranean dip. And just one moment for the bread, please. 299 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,350 - Thank you. - Already enjoy. 300 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,430 Thank you. 301 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:43,710 - She's a charming… - Did you hear that? 302 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,200 - Charming little thing. - "Already enjoy". 303 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,840 - Already enjoy. - What a lovely slogan. 304 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,830 - Yes, it is. - I'd like to have that on a T-shirt. 305 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,070 - (EXHALES) Yeah, well… - Already enjoy. 306 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,880 … you're a bit old for T-shirts with slogans on, 307 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,030 if you don't mind me saying. 308 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,790 - So, some bread. - Thank you very much. 309 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,040 My friend was just saying, what a lovely thing to say, "already enjoy". 310 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,150 Now you can enjoy completely. 311 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,590 - (CHUCKLES) - Imagine it on a T-shirt. 312 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,240 - Yes. It would be nice. - Yes? 313 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,120 He's too old to have T-shirts with logos on. 314 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,790 You're never too old for this. 315 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,870 No, I think, yeah. That's a nice thing to say. 316 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,920 Just to be clear, "No, you're never too old." 317 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,120 - I know. - Enjoy. 318 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,920 Thank you very much. Already enjoying, thank you. 319 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,670 She was very… She was unequivocal there. 320 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,560 - "Not too old". - Well, what was she gonna say? 321 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,440 - "Yeah, you're right, he's past it." - Well, she could have agreed with you 322 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,400 if you're as persuasive as you think you are. 323 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,880 STEVE: She was being politically adept 324 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,190 and that's the best thing to say about it. 325 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:31,270 Just to be clear, are you saying that 326 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,400 you could wear a T-shirt with a slogan on it? 327 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,990 - Erm… I think… - You think you're four months… 328 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,200 It's nothing to do with age, 329 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,560 it's to do with how you look, 330 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,470 and the brutal truth is, 331 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,240 yes, I think I am more likely to get away 332 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,120 with a T-shirt with a logo on it than you are. 333 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,880 Not by much but just more likely. Yeah. 334 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,550 - (SIGHS) - Anyway, already enjoy. 335 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,400 - Yeah? - Mmm-hmm. 336 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:56,880 (SPEAKING GREEK) 337 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,350 You know, the Ancient Greeks recognised 338 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,590 that people were a combination of good and bad. 339 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:05,960 There's not this, er, 340 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,760 social media idea of demonising people completely. 341 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,880 They're either persona non grata or they're heroic, 342 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,640 is nonsense. Their gods, you know, 343 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,800 were complex people. 344 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,990 And it's interesting because this, this is a good example of it, 345 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,150 this review of Stan & Ollie… 346 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,750 Review of Stan & Ollie? 347 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,280 Is a good example of what? 348 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,670 Er… 349 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,720 - You're tying this into Greek mythology? - Yes. 350 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,960 Erm, the review of Stan & Ollie in The Spectator says, 351 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,760 "It's a good job. Steve Coogan is a brilliant actor. 352 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,150 "He conveys Stan's likeability so well 353 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,960 "that for 97 minutes you forget 354 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,560 "what a self-regarding arse Coogan himself is in real life." 355 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,760 Now, my takeaway from that is… 356 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:47,910 He thinks I'm a brilliant actor. 357 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,030 - That's what you take away from it? - Yeah. 358 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,790 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 359 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,750 Cruise is amazing when you think about the… 360 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,600 The stunts he does. I think he's a little bit older than us. 361 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,910 - Is everything fine? - Delicious. 362 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,150 - Yeah? - Wonderful. 363 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,390 Ah, yes. 364 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,070 (IMITATES RIGSBY) Ah, my God, the wine. 365 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,680 - (WAITRESS CHUCKLES) - The wine, Miss Jones, the wine… 366 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,360 - I call it "vino collapso", I do, yeah. - WAITRESS: Mmm. 367 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,640 Just laugh at him and then you can walk away, don't worry. 368 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,120 It's nice. (LAUGHS) 369 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,920 Oh, Mr Rigsby. (LAUGHS) 370 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,200 - WAITRESS: Thank you. - Thanks. 371 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,680 She's… She's thinking, "What the hell?" 372 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,470 (IN NORMAL VOICE) Maybe she's seen Rising Damp. 373 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,760 (SPEAKING GREEK) 374 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,110 That was a lovely… It was just… It wasn't too much. 375 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,480 - Did you like it? - We loved it. 376 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,150 - Wonderful, yeah, lovely. - Thank you. 377 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,440 - Really just fresh. - Thank you very much. 378 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,510 Thank you very much. 379 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,400 Do you want to continue? 380 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,310 - I think so. - I think so, yeah. 381 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,670 Is there… Is there an option not to? 382 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:49,480 - No, we'll continue. - It's your choice. 383 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:50,960 - No, we'll continue, yeah, yeah. - (LAUGHS) 384 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,710 (LAUGHS) Never been asked that before. 385 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,440 - (LAUGHS) - Yeah, well it's a good question. 386 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,160 - Yeah. - At our age. 387 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,190 - Thank you. - (EXHALES) 388 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,240 ROB: That's a German accent, isn't it? She's got. 389 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,070 - Yes. - Think she's German? She's not Greek. 390 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,310 "Do you want to continue?" 391 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,120 She could have been asking us about our lives. 392 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,360 Do you want to continue? 393 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,350 What, she's seen our age and gone, 394 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,350 (GERMAN ACCENT) "Do you want to continue or would you prefer I administer 395 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,190 - "the drug now?" - "I administer…" Well, don't… 396 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:15,600 Not all Germans are Nazis. 397 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,510 I'm not saying she's a Nazi. I'm saying she's in some lovely clinic 398 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,510 - where we'd go in Switzerland. - Yeah, I know what you were driving at. 399 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,830 No, it is, but I'm not saying… 400 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,230 I'm not saying she's the occupying force. 401 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,120 - I'm saying she's in a clinic… - (EXHALES) 402 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,790 … and she's saying, "Do you want to continue? 403 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,920 - "Or would you like me to…" - Don't mention the war. 404 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,750 (LAUGHS) I'm not, but seriously. 405 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,480 Yeah, she's love… I like a foreign accent on a woman. 406 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,600 You like women. 407 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,880 Mr Bond. You know, it's like you, "Oh, where's she from? 408 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,350 "Oh, one of ze…" 409 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,680 So, we continue with risotto. 410 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,320 - Thank you. - One for you. 411 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,800 - Oh, wow. - Look at that. 412 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,240 Nice and soft for Steve. 413 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,440 - Thank you. - And one for you. 414 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,720 - There we are. - Enjoy it. 415 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,910 (SPEAKING GREEK) 416 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,240 Oh boy. Look at that, Rob. 417 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,720 (GIRLS TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 418 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,830 ROB: Three sirens. 419 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,400 - Yeah? On the rocks. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 420 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,240 Oh! Luring me. 421 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,990 ROB: Well, Odysseus strapped himself to the mast 422 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,310 so he wouldn't be tempted by that sort of a hussy. 423 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,070 - Mmm, yeah. - That's what you need, isn't it? 424 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,640 You've needed that in your life, I think. 425 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,390 Someone to strap you to the mast 426 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,990 to stop you doing mischief. 427 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,310 STEVE: The other sailors put bungs in their ears 428 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,470 - so they wouldn't hear the Sirens' song. - Yeah. 429 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,320 He wanted to hear it, but he didn't want to be lured. So, he wanted to check… 430 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,680 Check out the Sirens without… 431 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,080 Couldn't be more like you. 432 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,990 - You want… You want to… - Well… 433 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,070 … experience it up to a point. 434 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,630 But halfway through he begged them to untie him 435 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,110 so that he could go and consummate 436 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,320 - or, er, you know… - If I had strapped you to the mast, 437 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,600 I would stick with the agreement. I wouldn't untie you. 438 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,680 And I'd take some pleasure in it. I'd have a little… 439 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,640 I'd have cotton things in my ears, right? 440 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,550 You'd be on the mast and you'd go, 441 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,080 "Oh, Rob, Rob, I regret my decision, 442 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,800 "please untie me, the song's fantastic…" 443 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,470 I wouldn't… Why would it be in a Mancunian accent? 444 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,990 - Hmm? - Why would I be… 445 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,880 - If I was playing Odysseus? - You're not playing… 446 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,160 No, I'm not saying you're playing Odysseus. 447 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,880 I'm saying you are you and I am me. 448 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,680 I'd be going, (SHOUTS) "Let me go!' 449 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,350 - And I'd say, "I'm sorry." - "Let me go! 450 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,040 "Untie me. I must swim to the Sirens." 451 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,870 Where else do I know you from? The Aneidian line. 452 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,840 "Let me swim to the Sirens. 453 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,590 "I demand it!" 454 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,400 You'd have your hands would be by your side, wouldn't you? 455 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,040 You'd be stuck there, wouldn't you? 456 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,470 Yeah. Okay. 457 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,120 "Let me swim to the Sirens." 458 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,350 - "I'm sorry, Steve, erm, I've got…" - "I demand it!" 459 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,430 Steve, do you recognise this? 460 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,400 "My name is Odysseus. 461 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,150 "Not Steve. Who is this Steve you speak of?" 462 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,390 He's a conceited arse that I know from Manchester. 463 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:40,680 Well, I know not of him. 464 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,400 - But I have heard of his talent. - You're lucky, my friend. 465 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,710 I believe he's won seven BAFTAs. 466 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,310 - Seven BAFTAs? - Yes. 467 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,200 What is a BAFTA that you speak of? 468 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,710 - (BELL DINGS) - Service! 469 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,310 (GIRLS TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 470 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,680 Spartan women 471 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,960 had a reputation for being the most beautiful women in the world. 472 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,430 Yet the men were gay. Go figure. 473 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,190 STEVE: That's beautiful. Oh… 474 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,760 Oh, good God! (CHUCKLING) She's bending over! 475 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,120 "Oh, good God! She's bending over!" 476 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,320 Well, I thought you were gazing at her… 477 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,630 "Well, I thought you were gazing at her face." 478 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,000 I thought you were gazing at a beautiful woman. 479 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,510 "I thought you were gazing at a beautiful woman." 480 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,920 When I look, she's bending over. 481 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,800 - She's still a beautiful woman. - You were like that. 482 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,550 "Oh, that is beautiful." 483 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,310 I assumed it was a lovely, beautiful… 484 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,360 I turn round, she's going to pick up her bloody towel! 485 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,750 Because, Rob, in your world, beauty is just a… 486 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,750 Beauty is, er… Is something that's been desexualised. 487 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,640 I imagine you find a Barbie doll or an action man attractive 488 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,360 'cause they've got no genitals 'cause that would upset you 489 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,190 'cause that's a bit… Ooh, that's a bit… 490 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,910 "Oh, a bit shocking, having a cock and a vagina. That's a bit shocking! 491 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,560 "I thought everything was just smooth down there!" 492 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,920 That's real life, Rob. 493 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,640 Bottoms are part of real life. 494 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,520 So are breasts. So are cocks. So are vaginas. 495 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,800 It's all part of real life. It didn't bother the Ancient Greeks. 496 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,680 They… They competed. They did the Olympics completely naked. 497 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,320 They didn't go, "Oh, he's got his penis out! 498 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,830 "Oh, how shocking! I was expecting… 499 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,440 "I was just expecting a nice face with a T-shirt with a number on." 500 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,880 - Hello. - Hi. 501 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,960 So I have some fish for you. 502 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,150 - Thank you. - And one for you. 503 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,960 - It's grouper. - Thank you. 504 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,710 Enjoy it. 505 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,200 - Thank you very much. - Thank you. 506 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,320 - (EXHALES) - That's lovely, that's lovely. 507 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,990 Make sure you mop up a lot of that sauce. 508 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,240 After lunch we'll go and see the caves. 509 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,950 - Why? - It's The Observer's idea. 510 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,870 The Greeks, as I'm sure you know, 511 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,680 - believed that in this area… - Yeah, yeah. 512 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,150 … caves were entrances to the underworld 513 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,120 and they thought we could tie that in… 514 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,920 - (SIGHS) - … and also I could mention you 515 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,040 as Hades, 516 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,400 flog a few, erm, Percy Jackson DVDs. 517 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,240 Epicurus didn't believe in any of that life after death nonsense. 518 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,800 Aha, and it's your starter for 10, 519 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,390 who is Steve Coogan's favourite philosopher? 520 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,440 (IMITATES BUZZER) "Is it Epicurus?" "Yes, you're right." 521 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:58,640 Sorry, back to you. My bad. 522 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,240 Epicurus, er, believed that 523 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,520 the most important thing to a happy life 524 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,080 was to have no fear of God 525 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,800 and have no fear of death. 526 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,880 - Is everything fine? - Hmm, wonderful. 527 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,600 - Lovely. Yeah. - Gorgeous. 528 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,190 - Beautiful bay. - It's very nice. 529 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,110 We have tomorrow a swim race. 530 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,720 It's called Ocean Man. 531 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,480 They start from the pier right there. 532 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:25,440 - Can you see it? - BOTH: Yeah. 533 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,430 They will start there and swim to this direction 534 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,400 to new Itilo, to the beach Tsipa. 535 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:32,960 It's international. 536 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,270 People all around the world are coming here. 537 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:36,870 Maybe you will see it. 538 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,520 I would love to… I would love to stay for that, that sounds amazing. 539 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,640 We cannot stay, we have to leave, but, er, it sounds lovely. 540 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,550 I'd like to join the race. I'd like to join in, I think. 541 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,670 - Maybe you can do. (CHUCKLES) - Yeah, I think so. 542 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,280 - No? - (CHUCKLING) I don't think so. 543 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,560 - Maybe. - He's joking with you. 544 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,230 - He's joking with you. - I'm not jok… 545 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,910 I'm in pretty good shape for my age. 546 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,040 - (ROB CHUCKLES) - We will see. 547 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,160 - STEVE: We will see. We will see. - (CHUCKLES) 548 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,790 ROB: Thank you. 549 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,320 Pity. I'd like to do that. 550 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,710 I'd like to join in the race, join in the… 551 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,840 Not competitively just but, er… 552 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,320 That's a long way, look at it. 553 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,990 I have got very good stamina. 554 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,070 Neither you nor I could do that. 555 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,960 I could certainly… I could beat you in a race, I reckon. 556 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,160 Well. I don't think you could and we don't have time, 557 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,480 so, it's academic. 558 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:23,760 Oh, that's convenient. 559 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,190 Okay, go to the caves and then we have a race. 560 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,430 Great. Brilliant. 561 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:29,640 - You sure? - Yeah. 562 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,190 (BOTH SINGING VOCALS) 563 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,240 ROB: The Swingle Singers live at Cheddar Gorge 564 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,750 this bank holiday Monday. 565 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,960 (BOTH CONTINUE SINGING VOCALS) 566 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:14,110 This is more really suited to a sort of Gregorian chant, 567 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,190 it being like a sort of cathedral of sound. 568 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,870 - I love Greg. - Ah… 569 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,360 - What? - I love Greg. 570 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,480 - Greg who? - Gregorian. 571 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,760 Oh, Gregorian chant, yeah. Very good. 572 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,720 Well, I don't mind whether Greg or Ian chant. 573 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,160 - I mean they're both good. - (LAUGHS) 574 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,390 Would you rather, Ian? 575 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,390 "Ian, you sit this one out. Greg's gonna do it." 576 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,230 (GREGORIAN CHANTING) 577 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,800 STEVE: It must get flooded. 578 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,790 It looks like they control that. 579 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,230 ROB: Not very tidal though, is it? 580 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,280 STEVE: No, but I mean sometimes the, you know, 581 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,120 weather's bad. 582 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:05,680 I was in, er… 583 00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,920 I once swam underwater along a tunnel… 584 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,390 - ROB: You've told me this one. - … in Ustica, 585 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,630 which is off the coast of Sicily, volcanic island. 586 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,200 - ROB: You've told me this. - And, er… 587 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:20,200 I was in… I was in a rock pool off the coast 588 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,270 and then when you swam down, 589 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,190 you could swim along a tunnel out into the sea. 590 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,400 - You told me. - And I… I did it, and it's, er… 591 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:26,710 ROB: You told me. 592 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,960 STEVE: I quite like doing this for the newspapers. 593 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,190 I feel like I'm a journalist, a sort of intrepid reporter. 594 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,350 Out in the field who wants to get it first-hand. Not from Reuters. 595 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,230 Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford. 596 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,630 Yeah, we are. Yeah, like… Like Woodward and Bernstein. 597 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,600 I'd be Hoffman, obviously. 598 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,720 - Yeah, I'd be… I'd be Redford, yeah. - You'd be Redford. 599 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,920 I'd be the respected character actor, you'd be the pin-up. 600 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,590 I mean, at least it's feasible. 601 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,430 - Huh? Oh, I'm an excellent reporter. - I'm an excellent… 602 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,160 Excuse me, this… 603 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,280 This is Carl Bernstein. I'm phoning on behalf of The Washington Post. 604 00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:58,790 I thought you said you were gonna be Robert Redford. 605 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,870 Well, I just thought I'd try Dustin Hoffman for size, and it's… 606 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,840 You're not being offered that role. You're being offered the Redford role. 607 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,520 Er, are you trying to seduce me, Mr Nixon? 608 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,070 STEVE: Interesting, Bernstein also, 609 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,880 the subject of another film about his life, 610 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,950 - played by who? - All right, give me a minute. 611 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,520 - Was it Jack Nicholson? - Yes. 612 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,560 - And was the film Heartburn? - Yes. 613 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,990 - And did Nora Ephron write it? - Yes. 614 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,320 And did she once audition me by Skype for a part in a film? 615 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,190 - No. - She did. 616 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,800 Did I get the part? 617 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,110 - No. - That's correct. 618 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,310 STEVE: You girls, why don't you shout… 619 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,390 Why don't you say, "Go." Yeah? Say, "Three, two, one, go." 620 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,080 Yeah, sure. 621 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,590 ROB: Are you ready? Don't push me. 622 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,560 Ready? Steady? Go! 623 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,000 (GIRLS TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 624 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:44,790 STEVE: All right, okay, you win. 625 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,320 - I've… It's my shoulder. - (SHOUTS) Come on, yes! 626 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,830 Yes! 627 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,350 Rob? 628 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,550 - What are you wearing? - We look like two twins. 629 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,710 Two posh… A posh family's twins with a weird ageing condition. 630 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,270 It doesn't matter. 631 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,600 - It doesn't matter, does it? No. - No. 632 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:14,760 Different sunglasses on. 633 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,910 This is my… Yeah, the non-polarised. 634 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,990 They're, er, my sunset sunglasses. 635 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,480 - You're like a '60s playboy. - Thank you. 636 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,310 - 1960s. - Yes, 1960s, thank you. 637 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,280 Peter Sellars, you've got a Sellars thing. 638 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:26,560 He was 53 when he died. 639 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,200 Oh, well, you've nearly beaten him. 640 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,880 - Here's to me, yeah? - Oh, yes, cheers. 641 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,240 - Fair competition, yeah? - Congratulations. 642 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,120 - Shoulder's better. - Uh-uh. 643 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,680 It's not actually. It's, er, still aching a bit. 644 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,240 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 51169

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