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1
00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:12,045
(barking quietly)
2
00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:13,714
♪ ♪
3
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,015
(yaps)
4
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,017
(panting)
5
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:19,219
(sniffing)
6
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,955
(excited gibberish)
7
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,525
(sniffing)
8
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:25,893
(chomps)
9
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,862
(panicky gasping)
10
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,030
(sniffs)
11
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,033
(yaps)
12
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,635
Who wants popcorn...
13
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,136
‐Yay!
‐Yay!
14
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,705
...to string
and put on the Christmas tree?
15
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,007
‐Oh.
‐Ah, damn it.
16
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,378
(both groan)
17
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,080
Mom, I made an ornament
at Sunday school.
18
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:49,416
Oh, it's so...
19
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,385
sticky.
20
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,954
The Popsicle juice represents
Jesus's blood.
21
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:57,958
That would look so pretty
on the back of the tree.
22
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:01,061
KRUSTY ORNAMENT:Do not put on tree.
23
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:02,863
May occasionally do this:
24
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,998
Beep! Beep!
25
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,433
Beep!
26
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,036
Ooh, look! An old Santa hat.
27
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,071
You know who would love
to wear this?
28
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:12,272
No one.
29
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,107
The dog!
30
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,242
(barks, whines)
31
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,110
Quick! Lisa, take a picture.
32
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,613
I don't think he wants
to take a picture.
33
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,682
(grunts)
Dogs... love...
34
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,250
people clothes.
35
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,052
(Santa's Little Helper
whines "uh‐uh")
36
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,854
(both speaking gibberish)
37
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,123
(excited gibberish)
38
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,792
Did you get a good picture?
39
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:32,960
I don't think so.
40
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,128
(repeats excited gibberish)
41
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:39,333
♪ ♪
42
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,703
(barking)
43
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,705
(gasps)
He's afraid of it.
44
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,940
No, he's not.
45
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,609
(growls, barks)
46
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,778
(camera clicking)
47
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,649
Darn, we wasted
three digital photos.
48
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,150
(whining)
49
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,553
Ugh. Well, suit yourself,
spoilsport.
50
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,355
You're out of the card!
51
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:03,357
Don't worry,
he's not out of the card.
52
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,892
‐Can we be out of the card?
‐Everyone's in the card!
53
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,395
Okay, but not like last year.
54
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,763
BART:
Ay, caramba!
55
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,832
♪ Ah, jingle bell, jingle bell ♪
56
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,567
♪ Jingle bell rock, oh ♪
57
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,103
♪ Jingle bell rockand jingle bell rock ♪
58
00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:17,938
♪ A‐rockin' and rockin' ♪
59
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,940
♪ And words of the song ♪
60
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,942
♪ Looks like I parkedon the lawn ♪
61
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,511
♪ Oh, giddyap, giddyap ♪
62
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,546
♪ Giddyap, let's go ♪
63
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,182
♪ There's mistletoe ♪
64
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,184
♪ There's kissin' to do ♪
65
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,054
♪ And lots to kiss. ♪
66
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:38,959
(giggles) Marge, you're never
gonna guess what I got you.
67
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,560
D'oh! Oh!
68
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:41,862
(mutters)
69
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,064
Oh!
70
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:46,066
It ate my shorts!
71
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,935
Oh, now that it's happened,
it's not so funny.
72
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,538
Homie, we have to talk
about the difference
73
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:55,275
between gifts
and household supplies. Hmm?
74
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,476
Uh‐oh.
75
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:59,479
LISA (gasps):
Oh, my God!
76
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,914
What's all the fu...
(screams)
77
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,416
(gasps)
What the...
78
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:05,185
That dog better have
a good explanation!
79
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:06,920
Um... I did it.
80
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,422
Hit me with the newspaper.
81
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,424
You know I get my news online.
82
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,725
Guys...
83
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,561
what is
Santa's Little Helper doing?
84
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,497
I think something
is very wrong with him.
85
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:21,034
I think maybe we should take him
to a dog psychologist.
86
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:23,170
Dog psychologist, eh?
87
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,005
Get off the couch. Get off.
88
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,373
Get off!
89
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,841
(howls)
90
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,843
Dad, I know
what you're thinking.
91
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,845
It's not that.
92
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:35,248
Elaine Wolff is giving
a free lecture tomorrow night.
93
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:36,917
She's a legend.
94
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,218
Oh, not tomorrow.
95
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:40,954
Tomorrow's UFC fight 243.
96
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,957
Why do you care so much
about one stupid fight?
97
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,359
'Cause he paid 60 bucks
to watch it.
98
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,929
(gasps)
60 bucks to watch a fight?
99
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:51,465
Actually, 70. I got it in HD.
100
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,900
We don't even have an HDTV.
101
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,969
I wanted
the pay‐per‐view operator
102
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,772
to think I was a big shot.
103
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,040
(cries softly)
104
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,542
LISA (distorted, echoing):
He's staring at that smudge...
105
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:04,344
smudge... smudge.
106
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,346
(distorted, echoing):
What's wrong with that dog...
107
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,081
dog... dog?
108
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,883
GRAMPA:
I need my pill...
109
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,418
pill... pill!
110
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,420
That's three pills!
111
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,489
♪ ♪
112
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,359
(barks)
113
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,728
(whining)
114
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:23,730
(chuckles)
115
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,499
I love playing Candy Crush.
116
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,200
(grunting)
117
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,202
Dad, I need to tell you
something,
118
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,204
but I've come
to the sad conclusion
119
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,241
that you have difficulty
hearing the female voice.
120
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:37,110
Aw, I love you, too, honey.
121
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,378
(low grunt)
122
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,547
Therefore, I have deputized Bart
123
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,349
to speak for me.
124
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:43,917
How you doin'?
125
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,953
"Father, I believe
you're an honorable man."
126
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,588
(sputters)
Really?
127
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,190
(chuckles)
Okay.
128
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:53,593
"In times of peril, you, um...
129
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,095
even... event..."
130
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,463
(whispers):
"Eventually."
131
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,565
"...eventually
do the right thing,
132
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,234
"but Santa's Little Helper
is in crisis,
133
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,171
and 'eventually'
may be too late."
134
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,039
Aw. Well said, boy.
135
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:09,376
And, Lisa, for writing it,
you win my highest honor,
136
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:12,345
a hearty Homer hug. Mm.
137
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:13,847
Aw...
138
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,949
Now we party.
139
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,718
‐(snorting)
‐Ew!
140
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,554
Why do you eat candy that way?
141
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,923
‐I already brushed my teeth.
‐Oh.
142
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,197
(microphone feedback)
143
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,199
(clears throat)
Good evening.
144
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:35,936
"The more I spend time
with dogs, the more I realize
145
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,339
that I entirely prefer them
to people."
146
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:40,574
(laughter)
147
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,008
No, no, I'm serious.
148
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,944
I really despise you.
149
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,947
Despise us? I...
Hey, as the owner of a dog,
150
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:50,116
a tiger and a dolphin,
I am highly offended.
151
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,551
Highly!
152
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:52,919
Okay, first of all,
153
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,755
I hate that you
call yourselves "owners."
154
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,091
You own living beings?
155
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,960
(scoffs)
Nice.
156
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,561
(groans softly)
157
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,563
(phone rings)
158
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,865
(quietly):
Uh, hello?
159
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,868
Clayton, I can't talk right now.
160
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,169
I've left her.
161
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,404
I have left my wife.
162
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:12,906
What? Really?
163
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,042
You and I have loved each other
since primary school.
164
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,310
She knew that,
165
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,380
so I think she was relieved.
166
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,681
Oh, Clay.
167
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:24,251
I'd stopped allowing myself
to hope.
168
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:27,020
But, uh... I think
I got to call you right back.
169
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,922
No, no! Stay on the call.
170
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,657
We're invested.
171
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,026
I have to go.
I'm giving a lecture.
172
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,227
Wait! Wait!
173
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,029
We're getting married, right?
174
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,597
Yeah, sure, sure,
yeah, whatever.
175
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:38,899
Wait!
176
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,000
Oh. Yes.
177
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,869
You don't deserve dogs!
178
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,504
They sniff out your diseases
179
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,107
and comfort you
when you ride planes.
180
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:51,845
And I constantly hear:
"How do I get my dog to listen?"
181
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,414
‐Choke him till he taps out!
‐Oh, good God!
182
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,549
Always what can your dog
do for you.
183
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,119
Never once has somebody asked:
184
00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:03,523
"What is my dog trying to say?"
185
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:05,725
Bad! Bad!
186
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,727
All of you, bad!
187
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:10,730
This was the worst extension
class I ever took. My God.
188
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,732
It was even worse
than flower arranging.
189
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,135
I mean, who can say
where baby's breath should go?
190
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,837
Huh. Not I.
Tell you that much.
191
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:18,838
Uh, ma'am...
192
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,206
‐Down.
‐(whimpers)
193
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,075
It's okay. We're friendly.
194
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,377
Ma'am, I know you were once
195
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,681
a young,
inquisitive girl like me.
196
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:28,915
Mm, not like you, no.
197
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,717
I knew when to keep quiet.
198
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,520
(crying): Please.
My dog is having a breakdown.
199
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,723
So if these tears
mean nothing to you...
200
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,091
(sobbing)
201
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,994
...help our dog,
or let's do this!
202
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,229
Hold my pearls!
203
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,332
Look, I'm sorry,
204
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,533
I just can't d...
205
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,735
(gasps):
Oh, my.
206
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,071
(whines, pants)
207
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,372
You poor boy.
208
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,741
You've got a story to tell.
209
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,511
(speaking gibberish)
210
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,680
Could you teach us
to do what you do?
211
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:03,049
To see the world
through his eyes?
212
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,884
Oh, not through his eyes.
213
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,453
That's the point.
214
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:09,189
A dog's dominant sense is smell.
215
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:12,625
(sniffs)
He sees the world with his nose,
216
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:16,696
and his nose sees so much more
than our eyes.
217
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:20,066
For instance, we see a lamppost.
218
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:25,005
Your dog sees everyone
who's ever been here.
219
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,073
♪ ♪
220
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:37,784
(excited gibberish)
221
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,454
‐(thunder crashes)
‐(groans)
222
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:46,192
Hmm. He really likes you.
223
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,994
He adores me.
Knows I can help him.
224
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,662
Wants me to love him back.
225
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,064
But I can't.
226
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,134
A woman can only scoop
so much poop.
227
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:56,836
Stay.
228
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,338
Good stay.
229
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,741
♪ ♪
230
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,045
Mm...
231
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,050
Come on,
get to the part that helps us.
232
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,885
I'm trying.
In the acknowledgements,
233
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:15,355
she thanks all 101 dalmatians!
234
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,357
Well, at least
I can wash this filthy hat.
235
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,391
(growls)
236
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,060
‐Ow!
‐(Homer shrieks)
237
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,628
(stammering)
238
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,963
Bad dog! Very bad dog!
239
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:25,565
Crap dog!
240
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,634
(whining)
241
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:30,036
Lisa, quick!
Get the first aid kit!
242
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,705
But we don't have
a first aid kit.
243
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,308
‐Look under the tree.
‐Oh.
244
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,514
(whines)
245
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,084
Well, if he's staying outside,
I'm staying outside.
246
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,052
You are not staying outside!
247
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,754
You are not the boss here!
248
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:51,057
Well, I am, and he paid me
to tell you what to do.
249
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,059
This boy is sleeping outside.
250
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,427
Yes, sir.
251
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,597
(Marge sighs)
252
00:09:57,664 --> 00:10:00,700
‐What are we going to do?
‐Aw, no problem, sweetie.
253
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,069
There are a lot of dog doctors
out there.
254
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,170
(humming)
255
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:11,678
Hey. Hello.
256
00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:13,680
Oh, look at this handsome guy.
257
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,348
What's up with you, fella?
258
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,450
Um, he bit my mom.
259
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,052
Oh, I see.
Well, we've had a cancellation,
260
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,521
so if you like, we can
just put him down right now.
261
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:22,789
‐What?!
‐No!
262
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,125
I‐I don't think
that's necessary.
263
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:27,393
Oh, no, I'm afraid
once a biter always a biter.
264
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,095
Unless you, like,
train 'em or something,
265
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,197
but that's... that's crazy hard.
266
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,099
Would you like a minute
to say goodbye?
267
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,901
No way. We're leaving.
268
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,937
And I don't even want
to look at you.
269
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,739
Hmm. I feel like the Pixar logo.
270
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,107
‐(clattering)
‐D'oh!
271
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,376
What are we going to do
with the dog?
272
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,979
I guess he's just gonna
have to stay in the doghouse
273
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:48,448
I built for him.
274
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,483
‐D'oh!
‐(doorbell rings)
275
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:53,987
Hey‐a, kids. The vet reported
your dog as a biter,
276
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,223
so I'm supposed to wait
until animal control gets here
277
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,825
to take him away.
278
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,059
‐(gasps)
‐What?
279
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,061
So, uh, well, while we wait,
280
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,197
uh, you want to play Simon Says?
281
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,999
Simon says don't kill our dog.
282
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,034
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm Simon.
283
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,202
(laughs):
You're‐you're not Simon.
284
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,739
(moans)
Dad! They're coming for our dog!
285
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:17,076
I won't let you, you...
you big blue balloon.
286
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,346
Ooh, I like the image. Hey,
imagine me in a parade, huh?
287
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,915
Oh, boy.
288
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,352
Oh, darn it.
289
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,854
You call them and tell them
290
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,723
we are not letting you
take our dog.
291
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,892
I can't cancel.
They're already on the app.
292
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,028
It says they're
six minutes away. See?
293
00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:37,096
Uh‐huh.
294
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,431
Oh, they missed a turn.
295
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,966
Oh, now they're doing a U‐ey.
296
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:43,570
Geez, hope this guy euthanizes
better than he drives.
297
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,071
Dad, quick, take our dog
298
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,040
and drive as far and fast
as you can.
299
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,575
‐(whispers): Yes, sir.
‐(knocking on door)
300
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,876
(all gasp)
301
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,778
Oh, God, it's too late.
302
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:53,780
Dr. Wolff?
303
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,882
Look, I need to tell you
this one thing.
304
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,717
Something I saw
in your dog's eyes.
305
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,953
He's at breaking point,
and unless he has
306
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:03,590
some kind of catharsis,
something terrible could happen.
307
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:04,991
He bit my mom.
308
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,626
It is gratifying to be right.
309
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,862
Oh, how awful.
310
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:12,699
Animal control is coming
to get him right now.
311
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:16,002
You can't stop them.
They got sticks with wire loops.
312
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,037
Kids, pack his things.
313
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,207
And I'll need this.
This dog is coming with me.
314
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,343
Well, I am not
leaving here empty‐handed.
315
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,345
‐Make me a sandwich.
‐No.
316
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,713
Okay, all right.
317
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:28,948
Being a police chief
really sucks.
318
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,052
‐Here you go.
‐(sniffles)
319
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,687
(moans)
320
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,689
Listen, I packed you
some biscuits.
321
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,926
And even though I deplore
the killing of all animals,
322
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:43,062
when you come to the salami,
it's from me.
323
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:47,567
(moans) Now who will chase
squirrels with me?
324
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,835
(whines)
325
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:52,472
(siren wailing)
326
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,540
(groans)
You better get going.
327
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,143
Wait. I'm not
an emotional guy, but...
328
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,581
Mwah.
329
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,817
(chuckles)
Get a doghouse, you two.
330
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:10,957
(dogs barking)
331
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:17,397
Here. Have some Snausage water
as you watch this video.
332
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:20,333
NARRATOR:Here at the Institute,there are no bad dogs.
333
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,335
In answerto the age‐old question,
334
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,872
"Who's a good dog?"You are. You are.
335
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:28,374
Relax in our pileof wet dead leaves
336
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,277
or enjoy fine diningat The Dropped Porkchop.
337
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,947
And here's our guaranteeto you: no fireworks.
338
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,350
We'll have you feeling betterin no time.
339
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:40,019
Well, uh, there's nothing
physically wrong with you,
340
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:43,356
but to establish trust,
I'll sleep in your den tonight.
341
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:50,963
Well, a little bit of, uh,
reading before bed? (chuckles)
342
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,231
(squeaking)
343
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:54,033
(sighs)
344
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,403
♪ ♪
345
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,105
(whines, barks)
346
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,641
"Dog having nightmare,
347
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:05,078
perhaps about the root
of it all."
348
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,081
♪ ♪
349
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:34,207
(speaking gibberish)
350
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:35,908
(barks)
351
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:38,244
Oh, you poor thing.
352
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,314
Have some Lambien.
It'll help you sleep.
353
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,017
(moans contentedly)
354
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:50,957
Dad, am I gonna get my dog back?
355
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,759
(laughs):
Of course.
356
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:56,095
But just in case, I know
this isn't the kind of thing
357
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:59,732
a father says to his son,
but let's pray.
358
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:03,469
Almighty patron saint of dogs,
Saint Bernard...
359
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,739
‐Oh, can I join in?
‐Sure.
360
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,041
‐I'll pray, too.
‐Wow.
361
00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:11,511
Losing our dog,
possibly forever,
362
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,879
has really brought us together.
363
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,680
No!
364
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,482
Sorry, sorry.
Back to the prayer.
365
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,985
Okay, now I need to see
what set you off.
366
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:23,156
How do you feel about Marge?
367
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,758
(sniffing, panting)
368
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,094
‐(thunder crashes)
‐(whimpering)
369
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:34,233
(speaking gibberish)
370
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,935
(sighs)
371
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:38,938
She is comfort. Hmm.
372
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,040
‐So, what happened?
‐CLAY: Elaine?
373
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,075
Hello?
374
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:46,112
The car is here. Tuscany awaits.
375
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,114
Oh, Clay.
376
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,916
Ugh, I should have called.
377
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:52,919
Darling, I've done
something impulsive.
378
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:56,055
You know how Mother always
wanted you to wear her ring,
379
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,292
but she died at a time
when we had no hope.
380
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:02,995
And in my heartache,
I let them bury her with it.
381
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:07,567
So I dug her up and, uh,
will you marry me?
382
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,735
I know "exhumed"
383
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,506
isn't usually
the most romantic word, but...
384
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:17,143
Oh, Clay. I can't marry you now.
385
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,412
But I can meet you in Tuscany
in a few weeks.
386
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,980
I might not be there.
387
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,916
I can't compete
with a wagging tail.
388
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,084
Goodbye, Clay.
389
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,855
I want you to know
I'm already over you.
390
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,891
‐(whimpering)
‐Oh, no, no, not your fault.
391
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,227
Human nonsense.
Let's get back to work.
392
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,295
(cries)
393
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,602
Today, I want you
to interact with the pack.
394
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,471
Mingle. Sniff a butt
you don't know.
395
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:52,111
‐(sniffing)
‐(growling)
396
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,080
‐(barks)
‐(yelping)
397
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:56,349
Okay, interesting.
398
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:57,950
Let's explore that.
399
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:04,857
(whimpering)
400
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,859
(barking)
401
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,161
You buried this here. Why?
402
00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:11,964
Is this the key
that unlocks your psyche?
403
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,966
Bark once for "yes," bark twice
404
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,302
for "that's too simplistic
a view of canine psychology."
405
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,904
(barks twice)
406
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,674
Oh, hi. Is that our dog?
407
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:25,478
(whispers): Or one that looks
just like it to fool the kids?
408
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,014
(gasps)
You're back! Aw.
409
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,016
Where did this come from?
410
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:33,419
Uh, I would have to say
the North Pole?
411
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,421
Wait, Dad?
That was the hat I was wearing
412
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,424
the night we got
Santa's Little Helper. Remember?
413
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,825
‐Go! Go! Come on, boy!
‐Go, Santa's Little Helper!
414
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,494
‐Run! Run!
‐Come on! Get that rabbit!
415
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,996
ANNOUNCER:Dog of War coming up faston the outside...
416
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,933
Aw, can we keep him, Dad?
Please?
417
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,936
But he's a loser. He's pathetic.
418
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,938
He's...
419
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,006
a Simpson.
420
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,943
Santa's Little Helper
was a racing dog?
421
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,679
(scoffs) Not much of one.
Even I could beat him.
422
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,013
Oh, it's all clear now.
423
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,848
Your dog has PTSD.
424
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,650
And he has to confront
his abuser,
425
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,786
and he's gonna do it right now.
426
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:10,156
Actually, we're in the middle
of a holiday brunch, so...
427
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:12,024
But I‐I'm with you.
428
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,060
Uh, goodbye, everybody.
429
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,563
So, how many balls are
we allowed of croquembouche?
430
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:20,900
Let's see if they have HBO GO.
431
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,969
I've wanted to watch Euphoria,
432
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,304
but I'm embarrassed to have it
in my viewing history.
433
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,379
Les Moore? Greyhound trainer?
434
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,982
‐Yeah, that's me.
‐Dog abuser!
435
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,018
Can I offer you a drink
to throw in my face?
436
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,020
‐Yeah, I'd like that.
‐Yes, I bet you would.
437
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,989
I was being sarcastic,
naturally.
438
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:43,990
(grunts)
439
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,158
Not all trainers are monsters.
440
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:49,495
Yeah, I remember this mutt.
Uh, Santa's Little Helper.
441
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,497
Yeah! Hey,
what'd you rename him?
442
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,899
‐We didn't.
‐Boy, are you lazy.
443
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,902
He was born to oneof the fastest in the business,
444
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:57,903
She Biscuit.
445
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,905
Oh, he was her favorite.
446
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,274
And boy, did he love her.
447
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,176
That's how we learnedhow fast he was.
448
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:07,113
So naturally, we took himfrom his mother forever.
449
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,615
‐(loud slap)‐Did you just slap me again?
450
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,450
‐That was me.
‐You cut the line.
451
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:13,452
‐I want to slap. (grunts)
‐Ow.
452
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:14,720
‐(grunting)
‐Ow. Ow.
453
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,722
‐Here, Maggie.
‐Ow.
454
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,858
There. Now we've all had a turn.
455
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:20,393
‐Not quite.
‐(growling)
456
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,728
Ow! Okay, I get it.
457
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:26,399
Boy, suddenly, the guy who
tortures dogs is the bad guy.
458
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,868
(whimpering)
459
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,670
Now what does he want?
460
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,072
("The Way We Were" playing)
461
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,975
Son of a gun.
462
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,043
Where's he going?
463
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,210
Uh...
(clears throat)
464
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,979
To his, uh, to his mother.
465
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:43,315
Oh, I love happy endings.
466
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,284
♪ ♪
467
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:04,003
♪ Memories ♪
468
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:08,574
♪ Light the cornersof my mind... ♪
469
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,177
He'll be all right now.
(chuckles, sniffles)
470
00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:13,179
Thank you so much.
471
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:15,181
Oh, you're welcome.
472
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,516
(sighs)
I better be getting home.
473
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:20,286
I've got 20 dogs to walk.
(chuckles)
474
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:23,389
I could, uh, use some help.
475
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,424
(Marge grumbles softly)
476
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,759
Fine.
477
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:35,267
It's so great everyone in this
family worked out their issues.
478
00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:42,842
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
479
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,090
Shh!
33151
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