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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
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Norma, how long do you reckon
it'll be for me to, you know,
2
00:00:09,061 --> 00:00:10,494
get used to not having her around?
3
00:00:10,581 --> 00:00:12,299
Oh, I suppose that's up to you.
4
00:00:14,341 --> 00:00:16,411
I wasn't expecting her
to go just like that.
5
00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:19,174
Well, it's no good you
going on about it.
6
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- I'm not going on about it!
- You're constantly whining.
7
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I mean, my husband
is lying there in a box
8
00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:28,140
and you can't stop talking
about your ex-girlfriend!
9
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:30,977
Yeah, but Uncle Vinnie
had been ill for ages, hadn't he?
10
00:00:31,301 --> 00:00:33,292
Well, he didn't leave you, did he?
He's dead.
11
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:34,450
Don't look like that!
12
00:00:34,541 --> 00:00:37,977
I mean, Zoe, she left me because
she prefers not having me in her life,
13
00:00:38,061 --> 00:00:39,050
that's worse in a way.
14
00:00:39,341 --> 00:00:40,694
Well, Zoe gave you plenty of warning,
15
00:00:40,781 --> 00:00:44,217
it's not like this came out of the blue
like you're making out.
16
00:00:44,501 --> 00:00:47,379
Now go get yourself dressed up
before everyone arrives.
17
00:01:38,901 --> 00:01:40,812
Excuse me,
is it all right if I try this on?
18
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,698
- Through the back.
- All right, cheers.
19
00:01:48,701 --> 00:01:50,339
You looka right knob in a suit.
20
00:01:50,421 --> 00:01:52,013
It's the way you're holding yourself,
innit?
21
00:01:52,341 --> 00:01:54,218
Look at you, you're all sort of stiff,
22
00:01:54,701 --> 00:01:56,453
like a gingerbread man.
23
00:01:56,821 --> 00:01:57,856
You know why that is don't you?
24
00:01:57,941 --> 00:02:00,535
It's because you're not comfortable
in smart clothes, you never have been.
25
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:04,580
It's not you is it, it's restricting,
they're all tight, you can't stretch,
26
00:02:04,661 --> 00:02:06,094
you can't move about. That's what it is.
27
00:02:06,341 --> 00:02:08,616
Yeah, that's what I've never understood
about James Bond,
28
00:02:08,981 --> 00:02:12,053
when you think about the line of work
he's involved in and he wears a suit.
29
00:02:13,141 --> 00:02:14,893
Every day he's getting involved
in a scrap
30
00:02:15,141 --> 00:02:17,655
and fighting the enemy
on top of a moving train
31
00:02:17,741 --> 00:02:19,811
and he turns up to work
wearing a tuxedo.
32
00:02:20,981 --> 00:02:21,970
Fucking idiot.
33
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,339
He's meant to be, sort of,
an undercover spy
34
00:02:24,421 --> 00:02:26,696
and he's wandering around
like he's been invited to the Oscars.
35
00:02:28,221 --> 00:02:29,939
I tell you who got it right, Superman.
36
00:02:30,261 --> 00:02:32,900
That's ideal clothing,
nice and stretchy, light,
37
00:02:33,381 --> 00:02:35,053
moveable, airy.
38
00:02:36,301 --> 00:02:38,576
It's just when he added the cape
I think he went a bit too far.
39
00:02:38,661 --> 00:02:40,014
Oh, shut up.
40
00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:43,335
I'm not Superman, am I?
I'm not fighting the enemy, I'm just
41
00:02:44,261 --> 00:02:46,855
- going to a funeral.
- You know what's funny about this,
42
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,730
whenever Zoe asked you to wear
a suit you never wore one.
43
00:02:50,501 --> 00:02:52,935
She's gone hasn't she, so why start now?
44
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,819
That's more like it.
45
00:03:08,941 --> 00:03:11,171
- Smart but casual.
- Really?
46
00:03:12,261 --> 00:03:14,821
You know that's just like
a built-in collar, don't you?
47
00:03:14,901 --> 00:03:16,300
It's not... It's not a full shirt, that.
48
00:03:16,381 --> 00:03:18,212
You're getting
about 8% of the shirt look.
49
00:03:18,501 --> 00:03:21,618
It's just sewn in, there's no cuffs!
They're taking the piss.
50
00:03:21,821 --> 00:03:25,734
Yeah, well, less buttons.
Saves time, doesn't it?
51
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:27,980
What do you mean saves time? What...
52
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,780
Mr Mega Busy over there,
what do you mean saves time?
53
00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:32,214
Jesus, what are you gonna buy next?
54
00:03:32,301 --> 00:03:34,098
Some, like, trousers
with built in underpants?
55
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,300
I'm going to take it.
56
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:55,576
I tell you what, you could use today as
a way of meeting someone new, you know.
57
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:56,890
What, at a funeral?
58
00:03:56,981 --> 00:03:58,255
When else are you gonna meet someone?
59
00:03:58,341 --> 00:04:01,538
You don't have much else
for a social life do you, so perfect.
60
00:04:02,101 --> 00:04:04,456
And if you think about it, the other
thing that normally lets you down
61
00:04:04,541 --> 00:04:06,213
is that miserable face of yours,
62
00:04:06,381 --> 00:04:08,451
not having a go but that's
your default setting, isn't it?
63
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,811
That sort of, that sort of look.
64
00:04:10,901 --> 00:04:12,095
Whereas today you can have that
65
00:04:12,181 --> 00:04:14,570
because they're gonna think you look
like that 'cause it's a funeral.
66
00:04:14,781 --> 00:04:16,453
Think about it, makes sense.
Let's face it,
67
00:04:16,541 --> 00:04:18,611
you can't live with your Auntie
the rest of your life, can you?
68
00:04:18,701 --> 00:04:19,850
So get out there!
69
00:04:21,341 --> 00:04:22,410
Just a thought.
70
00:04:25,821 --> 00:04:27,971
- Don't you look smart.
- All right, innit?
71
00:04:28,141 --> 00:04:30,097
- How about a tie?
- No, I'd rather not wear one.
72
00:04:30,341 --> 00:04:31,933
- Why?
- I just don't like 'em.
73
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,340
Oh, but it'd look so nice.
74
00:04:33,421 --> 00:04:34,820
Yeah, I know,
but they're a bit irritating.
75
00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:37,410
I'm sure Vinnie had a black one
you could have, I'll go get it...
76
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:38,820
I don't want a tie! I don't want a tie!
77
00:04:38,901 --> 00:04:39,936
- Stop going on!
- Why?
78
00:04:40,061 --> 00:04:41,733
Because it's not real.
There's no shirt there,
79
00:04:41,821 --> 00:04:43,618
- it's just a built in collar.
- What the hell is that?
80
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:44,975
When I walked in
81
00:04:45,061 --> 00:04:46,653
you said how nice I looked,
stop making a fuss.
82
00:04:46,741 --> 00:04:48,971
Ties are pointless,
they're a waste of material.
83
00:04:53,061 --> 00:04:54,289
Sofa delivery.
84
00:04:54,781 --> 00:04:56,419
Oh, you're having a laugh, aren't you?
85
00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:58,496
Where do you want it?
86
00:04:58,741 --> 00:05:00,333
Yeah, today's not good,
to be honest with you.
87
00:05:00,421 --> 00:05:03,970
Any chance you could sort of rearrange
to get it sorted another time?
88
00:05:04,141 --> 00:05:06,735
Yeah, I suppose so, that is doable.
89
00:05:07,021 --> 00:05:08,932
You'll have to phone
the office to rearrange.
90
00:05:09,021 --> 00:05:10,170
All right, I'll do that. Cheers.
91
00:05:10,261 --> 00:05:12,138
Just so you know,
there will be a charge.
92
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,538
- For what?
- To rearrange delivery.
93
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:18,454
Nah, he's taking the piss.
I tell you what he's doing,
94
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:21,216
they do this so you send him off
and you've got to pay him again.
95
00:05:21,661 --> 00:05:23,174
But I've already paid for delivery.
96
00:05:23,261 --> 00:05:25,013
Yeah, but that's for today's delivery.
97
00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:26,930
Oh, I've got a funeral today.
98
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:29,581
Yeah, well I'm very sorry for your loss,
but like I say,
99
00:05:29,661 --> 00:05:32,095
there is a charge for redelivery.
100
00:05:32,221 --> 00:05:33,336
It's �40.
101
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,776
Forty quid! Again?
102
00:05:37,141 --> 00:05:38,130
Get him to bring it in.
103
00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:40,212
Okay, all right. Bring it in
now then. Fine.
104
00:05:42,181 --> 00:05:43,500
God!
105
00:05:43,581 --> 00:05:46,334
Couldn't you have them deliver it
at a more appropriate time?
106
00:05:46,421 --> 00:05:48,139
There's no room for it.
107
00:05:48,221 --> 00:05:50,655
And there are a lot more people coming
for the reception.
108
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,891
Yeah, but he charges forty quid
each time he does a drop off.
109
00:05:53,141 --> 00:05:55,735
And anyway, there's going to be more
room once Uncle Vinnie's been shifted.
110
00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:57,254
And the old sofa's gotta go.
111
00:05:57,381 --> 00:06:01,454
Excuse me, this, I think
you're taking this old sofa today.
112
00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:04,453
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's down here
in... In the paperwork.
113
00:06:04,541 --> 00:06:06,452
I've just got to check it out first.
114
00:06:07,581 --> 00:06:08,616
Sorry for your loss.
115
00:06:09,381 --> 00:06:10,609
Excuse me, ladies.
116
00:06:19,701 --> 00:06:22,852
You've got a bit of problem here.
There ain't no fire labels.
117
00:06:23,101 --> 00:06:25,217
- So what does that mean?
- I can't take it.
118
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,571
- But why?
- Safety regulations.
119
00:06:27,981 --> 00:06:29,858
Honestly, health and safety
does me head in.
120
00:06:30,461 --> 00:06:32,975
They'll be selling like safety goggles
with fuckin' bacon next.
121
00:06:33,541 --> 00:06:36,339
Look, can you sign for the new one
122
00:06:36,461 --> 00:06:38,452
here and here?
123
00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:41,778
Just so you know,
you've got a 14-day return policy.
124
00:06:41,981 --> 00:06:43,460
So what am I meant
to do with it now then?
125
00:06:43,661 --> 00:06:46,971
Well most people stick it
on Gumtree or one of them sites.
126
00:06:47,381 --> 00:06:50,100
There's always someone
that's willing to take a risk.
127
00:06:50,861 --> 00:06:52,453
Take a risk?
128
00:06:52,981 --> 00:06:53,970
It's a sofa!
129
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,375
Where we going then?
130
00:06:55,461 --> 00:06:57,531
It's only down the road,
it's a little chaise.
131
00:06:57,621 --> 00:06:58,736
Excuse me, fellas.
132
00:07:05,741 --> 00:07:07,538
See you at the crematorium.
133
00:07:08,621 --> 00:07:10,179
Thank you, thank you.
134
00:07:11,061 --> 00:07:12,494
We're going now.
135
00:07:12,581 --> 00:07:14,776
Would you take Marco and Sofia
in your car?
136
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,653
Yeah. Just give me a minute, will you?
137
00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:19,176
Just taking photos of the, erm,
138
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:21,219
sofa to put online.
139
00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:31,534
This is barmy this, isn't it?
140
00:07:31,621 --> 00:07:33,771
I mean, if they're gonna insist
on driving this slowly
141
00:07:33,861 --> 00:07:35,579
why don't they just throw all funerals
in rush hour?
142
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:37,010
Eh?
143
00:07:37,901 --> 00:07:39,300
We're causing a right tailback.
144
00:07:40,421 --> 00:07:43,299
When you think about it,
when we all eventually die,
145
00:07:44,301 --> 00:07:47,816
the last thing we do before we're like,
stuck in a hole or get set fire to,
146
00:07:48,061 --> 00:07:50,780
is piss off other drivers.
That's it, that's the last thing we do.
147
00:07:50,901 --> 00:07:53,256
Hello?
148
00:07:53,341 --> 00:07:55,935
Yeah, I'm callingabout the sofa you've got online.
149
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,255
Oh, yeah. That was quick.
150
00:07:57,341 --> 00:07:59,650
What colour is it?
It's hard to tell on that photo.
151
00:07:59,781 --> 00:08:03,057
It's, erm, sort of yellow.
Yellow... Yellow checked.
152
00:08:03,341 --> 00:08:05,775
A mustard yellowor a more lemony yellow?
153
00:08:07,381 --> 00:08:08,450
It's just yellow.
154
00:08:08,661 --> 00:08:10,617
Right, what sort of conditionis it in? Any stains?
155
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:11,890
You do know it's free don't you?
156
00:08:11,981 --> 00:08:13,858
Yeah, I noticed that,that's why I'm asking.
157
00:08:14,381 --> 00:08:16,178
You wouldn't get shitefor free normally.
158
00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:18,013
I'll just come round for it nowif that's all right.
159
00:08:18,141 --> 00:08:19,176
Take it off your hands.
160
00:08:19,261 --> 00:08:20,740
- Now?
- What?
161
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,050
You having second thoughts?
162
00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:25,055
I'm just in the middle...
Is it...
163
00:08:25,141 --> 00:08:28,019
Can you give us like 20 minutes?
I'll be there as quick as I can.
164
00:08:28,101 --> 00:08:29,295
Well, hurry up, won't you,
165
00:08:29,381 --> 00:08:30,655
it's bloody free...
166
00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:38,818
Norma. I'm gonna nip back to the flat.
167
00:08:39,741 --> 00:08:42,096
Had a call about the old sofa,
someone's gonna take it.
168
00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:45,453
You're going to miss
your uncle's funeral for a sofa?
169
00:08:45,581 --> 00:08:47,378
No. I won't be long.
Honestly, gonna get it moved
170
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,452
and then there's more room for everyone
later isn't there,
171
00:08:49,541 --> 00:08:50,530
for having the butties.
172
00:08:50,621 --> 00:08:52,498
You didn't even need a new sofa.
173
00:08:52,621 --> 00:08:54,100
We've been through all this, haven't we?
174
00:08:54,181 --> 00:08:56,570
I just got to get shot of it.
It's a constant reminder of Zoe.
175
00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,449
Well, don't be too long,
you don't want to let your uncle down.
176
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,532
Vinnie's not going to be bothered,
is he?
177
00:09:02,621 --> 00:09:04,134
It's his funeral,
not his birthday party.
178
00:09:21,101 --> 00:09:22,773
All right, mate. You here for the sofa?
179
00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:25,819
- Yeah.
- It's just through here.
180
00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,574
Great.
181
00:09:28,221 --> 00:09:29,210
I'm in a bit of a rush.
182
00:09:30,181 --> 00:09:31,819
It's, erm, this one here.
183
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:37,139
Looked a bit better in the photo.
184
00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:38,370
Well, it's the same one.
185
00:09:41,461 --> 00:09:43,770
Cushions are a bit battered,
aren't they?
186
00:10:07,981 --> 00:10:09,892
Yeah, all right then.
I'll take it off your hands.
187
00:10:10,661 --> 00:10:12,253
You couldn't give us a hand, could you?
188
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:13,810
Yeah, all right. Yeah.
189
00:10:16,061 --> 00:10:17,494
One, two...
190
00:10:19,221 --> 00:10:20,540
Right, I'm clear.
191
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,253
- Right. Woah, woah, woah!
- Woah, woah, woah!
192
00:10:22,661 --> 00:10:24,970
- You got it?
- Just... Can you slow down a minute,
193
00:10:25,061 --> 00:10:27,052
- I'm still on the steps here.
- Right.
194
00:10:27,141 --> 00:10:28,256
All right? Clear.
195
00:10:30,861 --> 00:10:31,850
There you go.
196
00:10:32,941 --> 00:10:34,818
- Right, where you parked?
- Eh?
197
00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:36,580
Where you parked? Where's your van?
198
00:10:36,981 --> 00:10:39,734
No, I haven't got a van. I thought you
said you'd give me a hand.
199
00:10:39,821 --> 00:10:41,891
Yeah. I meant just outside the house.
200
00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:44,052
Oh, come on.
It's just down the road two minutes.
201
00:10:44,141 --> 00:10:47,531
He's a piss taker!
Free sofa and free delivery.
202
00:10:48,221 --> 00:10:49,973
You paid 40 quid
to get yours dropped off!
203
00:11:15,263 --> 00:11:17,015
Don't let it scrape on the side,
will you.
204
00:11:17,503 --> 00:11:18,697
Yeah, just keep going.
205
00:11:18,863 --> 00:11:21,502
I'm... I'm against a wall, I can't go
any more. You'll have to lift it up.
206
00:11:22,343 --> 00:11:24,857
I'll go here, and you just swing it
round to your end.
207
00:11:25,623 --> 00:11:27,295
Woah, woah, woah!
You're gonna rip the back.
208
00:11:27,463 --> 00:11:29,818
Is there really no other way?
Is this the quickest route, honestly?
209
00:11:29,903 --> 00:11:32,497
This is gonna knock off
a couple of minutes, actually.
210
00:11:32,623 --> 00:11:33,692
It's like playing Pac-Man.
211
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:34,972
- Is it really that hard work?
- Yes!
212
00:11:35,063 --> 00:11:36,257
Can you lift it down? You're making
213
00:11:36,343 --> 00:11:37,332
- it heavier.
- I'm at the back,
214
00:11:37,423 --> 00:11:39,175
- I'm carrying more weight here!
- This is ridiculous.
215
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:42,772
Knobhead!
216
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:44,698
He just kicked me up the arse.
217
00:11:44,983 --> 00:11:47,372
Can we just stop a sec.
218
00:11:48,343 --> 00:11:49,822
All right, down.
219
00:11:52,223 --> 00:11:53,895
I'm sweating like a bastard.
220
00:11:54,503 --> 00:11:57,063
You're layering up, aren't you?
Take your jumper off.
221
00:11:57,143 --> 00:12:00,499
No I'll leave it on. I'll be all right
in a minute, just need to get some air,
222
00:12:00,583 --> 00:12:02,414
get some air under my arms.
223
00:12:04,543 --> 00:12:05,578
Not much further, yeah?
224
00:12:06,383 --> 00:12:07,975
Two minutes, I promise.
225
00:12:09,023 --> 00:12:10,217
- All right, go on.
- You all right?
226
00:12:10,303 --> 00:12:11,292
Yeah, yeah.
227
00:12:11,383 --> 00:12:12,372
Two, three...
228
00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:15,936
Right we're here.
229
00:12:16,183 --> 00:12:17,411
Pop it down here.
230
00:12:17,823 --> 00:12:18,892
That's great that,
231
00:12:19,063 --> 00:12:20,701
I really appreciate it, thanks for that.
232
00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:23,175
Go on,
I'll give you a hand getting it in.
233
00:12:24,263 --> 00:12:26,618
Erm...
234
00:12:26,943 --> 00:12:28,581
- You Neil?
- Yeah.
235
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:30,972
So this is it, yeah?
236
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:33,572
Yeah.
237
00:12:35,103 --> 00:12:37,742
Yeah, condition's not as good
as you said though, is it?
238
00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:41,417
What did we say, 45?
239
00:12:42,903 --> 00:12:45,212
Yeah, yeah, if you're happy with that?
240
00:12:45,823 --> 00:12:47,461
There's no fire labels here.
241
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:49,775
I'll... I'll get you some fire labels.
242
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,615
But it still won't be fireproof,
will it?
243
00:12:54,183 --> 00:12:55,218
Thirty-five?
244
00:12:56,263 --> 00:12:58,060
Look, sorry to waste your time, lads.
245
00:12:58,623 --> 00:13:01,262
- It's not for me.
- Ah, fuck's sake.
246
00:13:01,543 --> 00:13:04,057
Cheeky bastard! Getting a sofa for free
247
00:13:04,143 --> 00:13:06,532
and then trying to sell it on.
I thought I was helping you out.
248
00:13:06,663 --> 00:13:08,938
Don't give me that shit, mate,
it wasn't about helping out, was it?
249
00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:10,297
You just wanted to get rid of it.
250
00:13:10,743 --> 00:13:13,257
Oi! Wait, wait. Hey!
You can't leave it here.
251
00:13:13,343 --> 00:13:15,413
Just leave it for the council,
they'll take it.
252
00:13:15,663 --> 00:13:16,652
You can't just chuck it away!
253
00:13:17,143 --> 00:13:19,452
You aren't gonna get nothing for this,
it's a piece of shit, mate.
254
00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:22,660
Just a piece of shit? It was worth
45 quid about two minutes ago.
255
00:13:22,743 --> 00:13:24,540
I'm not leaving it here,
I got this with me ex.
256
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:27,458
What, she leave you for someone
with a better taste in sofas?
257
00:13:28,863 --> 00:13:31,616
What are you moaning about?
It's just a bloody sofa.
258
00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:34,297
It's just a sofa to you, it isn't to me.
It's ten years of my life this.
259
00:13:34,383 --> 00:13:37,022
Just chucking it away,
it's like... Like it never happened.
260
00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:40,218
Do you know what,
261
00:13:41,423 --> 00:13:42,572
you should just keep it.
262
00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:45,534
This obviously means so much to you.
263
00:13:47,423 --> 00:13:49,414
I don't know why you were giving it away
in the first place.
264
00:13:50,743 --> 00:13:53,177
I don't know what I was thinking.
I don't know why I bought a new one.
265
00:13:53,263 --> 00:13:54,491
It's been nothing but a ball ache.
266
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,582
Can you do us a favour?
267
00:13:59,223 --> 00:14:00,212
Take it back?
268
00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:03,140
Yeah, man, course. Grab hold.
269
00:14:03,223 --> 00:14:04,702
- That'll be twenty quid.
- Eh?
270
00:14:05,423 --> 00:14:08,017
Well,
delivery firm will charge you 40.
271
00:14:08,783 --> 00:14:11,900
Ah you... Twenty quid.
272
00:14:11,983 --> 00:14:13,860
I'm saving you money
and helping you out!
273
00:14:13,943 --> 00:14:16,457
Not really, no, because it wouldn't
be here if it wasn't for you, would it?
274
00:14:16,543 --> 00:14:17,976
Hang on. Hang on.
275
00:14:18,063 --> 00:14:20,133
I better get this. Hello?
276
00:14:20,623 --> 00:14:21,738
Where are you?
277
00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:23,734
There's beena slight change of plan.
278
00:14:24,503 --> 00:14:27,575
The service is about to start.
Are you on your way?
279
00:14:27,703 --> 00:14:29,659
I'll be there in a bit,
I'm taking the sofa back.
280
00:14:29,863 --> 00:14:32,058
I thought you said some guywas gonna take it?
281
00:14:32,503 --> 00:14:33,492
Yeah, I changed my mind.
282
00:14:33,703 --> 00:14:35,455
I'm gonna keep that,and get the money back and then
283
00:14:35,743 --> 00:14:38,098
treat Zoe to a nice weekend away
or something, you know,
284
00:14:38,183 --> 00:14:40,458
a sit-down dinner somewhere,
sort of charm her back.
285
00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:45,256
You're the only man I know that has
an on-off relationship with a sofa.
286
00:14:45,583 --> 00:14:46,732
All right, I'll see you in a bit.
287
00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:50,143
- Right, come on, let's get a move on.
- Good, come on.
288
00:14:51,983 --> 00:14:53,302
Do we have to go all the way back?
289
00:14:53,423 --> 00:14:54,617
Yeah. All the way, yeah.
290
00:14:54,743 --> 00:14:55,892
And you can give us a hand
getting it in.
291
00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:08,052
I think I'd like to have a barge
one day, you know,
292
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:12,014
it's the dream, innit?
Just go anywhere on a barge.
293
00:15:12,223 --> 00:15:15,374
It's water, innit?
It's where all life began.
294
00:15:15,863 --> 00:15:17,535
I don't understand
why you're looking so happy.
295
00:15:17,903 --> 00:15:19,655
You basically just give some bloke
twenty quid
296
00:15:19,743 --> 00:15:21,142
to take your sofa for a walk.
297
00:15:21,223 --> 00:15:22,212
I thought we'd decided?
298
00:15:22,343 --> 00:15:24,777
I thought the whole point
was getting rid of the old sofa,
299
00:15:24,863 --> 00:15:26,455
get the new sofa, and move on.
300
00:15:26,783 --> 00:15:29,695
It's not the sofa I've got to change,
is it? It's me who's got to change.
301
00:15:29,903 --> 00:15:31,302
Can you just listen to me for a minute?
302
00:15:31,383 --> 00:15:33,453
No. I'm not gonna listen to you,
I'm sick of listening to you.
303
00:15:33,543 --> 00:15:36,979
That's your problem, you keep talking
but you're not listening to anyone else.
304
00:15:37,423 --> 00:15:38,822
I mean, look what happened with Zoe,
305
00:15:39,143 --> 00:15:41,213
I was thinking about it
when she brought up marriage that time,
306
00:15:41,303 --> 00:15:42,736
what did you do?
307
00:15:42,823 --> 00:15:43,938
You just closed the door on it.
308
00:15:44,023 --> 00:15:46,014
Like, "Oh, no. Oh, no,
that's not for me, is it?"
309
00:15:46,103 --> 00:15:48,458
Then it was kids, you nipped that
in the bud, you didn't wanna know.
310
00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:50,381
You just never listened
to what she wanted,
311
00:15:50,503 --> 00:15:52,778
and in the end that's probably why
she fucked off.
312
00:15:52,863 --> 00:15:54,091
You're just too negative.
313
00:15:54,383 --> 00:15:56,453
Yeah, but hang on a minute,
that's how we work isn't it?
314
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,375
I'm too negative, you're too positive.
315
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:01,377
Like a battery, it wouldn't work
with both ends being positive, would it?
316
00:17:22,903 --> 00:17:24,859
I'm meant to be
at my uncle's funeral today.
317
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:26,137
Yeah?
318
00:17:26,223 --> 00:17:28,179
They'll be cremating me
if I don't get a drink.
319
00:17:28,383 --> 00:17:29,975
- You thirsty?
- Gasping.
320
00:17:30,063 --> 00:17:32,258
Look, Harrow Road's over there,
you can get anything you want.
321
00:17:32,383 --> 00:17:34,738
Get a bit of food if you want.
A bit of Turkish pizza or something.
322
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,221
Here, pop it down here.
323
00:17:37,703 --> 00:17:39,375
I'll sort it out and go get it.
324
00:17:39,743 --> 00:17:41,176
Yeah? Just a Coke, yeah. Cheers.
325
00:17:41,383 --> 00:17:43,658
- Nowt to eat?
- And a banana if they've got one.
326
00:17:44,303 --> 00:17:45,292
Can I have some money?
327
00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:47,291
I gave you twenty before!
328
00:17:47,503 --> 00:17:49,300
Yeah. But that's for the delivery
of the sofa, innit?
329
00:17:49,423 --> 00:17:51,414
Yeah, all right then. There.
Banana and a Coke.
330
00:17:51,503 --> 00:17:52,936
Is it all right
if I get something as well?
331
00:17:53,023 --> 00:17:55,253
Yeah, yeah, why not, yeah.
Treat yourself.
332
00:17:55,543 --> 00:17:56,692
Just be quick, yeah.
333
00:17:56,783 --> 00:17:58,262
Brilliant. Two minutes.
334
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:11,421
Oh, hiya. I wonder if you can help me,
I had a sofa delivered this morning.
335
00:18:11,703 --> 00:18:13,694
I want to say thank you very much
336
00:18:13,783 --> 00:18:16,934
for taking the trouble to be herefor Vincent, well, Vinnie,
337
00:18:17,023 --> 00:18:18,900
as I think most of youwould have known him.
338
00:18:18,983 --> 00:18:20,735
I'm not here. Leave a message.
339
00:18:20,823 --> 00:18:22,142
Where are you?
340
00:18:23,423 --> 00:18:25,539
The service is starting
and you're not here.
341
00:18:26,143 --> 00:18:28,054
I know that our thoughts are very much
342
00:18:28,143 --> 00:18:32,022
with Norma, and, erm,his favourite nephew Karl.
343
00:18:32,143 --> 00:18:34,452
The person you are calling
344
00:18:34,543 --> 00:18:36,295
knows you are waiting,please hold the line.
345
00:18:36,743 --> 00:18:39,098
The person you are callingknows you are waiting,
346
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:40,698
- please hold the line.
- What?
347
00:18:40,783 --> 00:18:42,899
Did you honestly think he was going
to come trotting back
348
00:18:42,983 --> 00:18:45,213
with a nice little picnic
for both of you?
349
00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:47,095
He's sodded off with your money,
you knobhead!
350
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,181
Honestly, can we just get
to the funeral?
351
00:18:49,543 --> 00:18:52,421
All this sofa stuff
has been nothing but hassle.
352
00:18:52,943 --> 00:18:54,137
You've got to move on.
353
00:18:54,303 --> 00:18:56,771
God, look at Norma,
she's cremating her husband today
354
00:18:56,863 --> 00:18:58,581
and she's not moping about
like this, is she?
355
00:18:59,183 --> 00:19:00,980
You could learn from her.
356
00:19:01,263 --> 00:19:03,982
Someone got this odd thing in your head
that by keeping that sofa,
357
00:19:04,063 --> 00:19:06,054
Zoe's gonna come back,
it's not gonna happen.
358
00:19:06,743 --> 00:19:09,052
You've got to let go of the sofa,
and let go of Zoe.
359
00:19:09,423 --> 00:19:11,891
All you seem to be good at letting go of
is twenty quid notes.
360
00:19:13,863 --> 00:19:15,057
Miss me a little,
361
00:19:15,703 --> 00:19:17,056
but not for long.
362
00:19:18,183 --> 00:19:20,492
And not with your head bowed low.
363
00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:24,341
Remember the love that once we shared.
364
00:19:25,503 --> 00:19:27,937
Miss me, but let me go.
365
00:19:29,303 --> 00:19:30,418
Oi!
366
00:19:31,983 --> 00:19:33,177
Twats!
367
00:19:33,783 --> 00:19:35,853
For this is a journeywe all must take.
368
00:19:36,703 --> 00:19:38,421
And each must go alone.
369
00:19:39,983 --> 00:19:42,258
It's all part of the master plan.
370
00:19:43,463 --> 00:19:45,533
A step on the road to home.
371
00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:52,612
When you are lonely
372
00:19:53,223 --> 00:19:54,622
and sick at heart.
373
00:19:55,463 --> 00:19:56,896
Go to the friends we know.
374
00:19:58,223 --> 00:20:00,657
Laugh at all the things we used to do.
375
00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:05,572
Miss me,
376
00:20:06,303 --> 00:20:07,656
but let me go.
377
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:20,332
Hello?
378
00:20:20,783 --> 00:20:23,661
All right, mate.I've just seen the sofa online.
379
00:20:24,303 --> 00:20:26,259
What kind of condition is it?
30548
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