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1
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:10,879
Oh, shit, I almost parked.
2
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,920
- Hey, Morty, hold on, Wat-watch this.
- _
3
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,799
- Uh-huh.
- Well, I thought it was cool.
4
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,379
So. We should be in and out.
5
00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:26,499
Simple exchange, not even
really an adventure.
6
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,439
And if anything goes wrong...
which it won't...
7
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,339
jump into the same vat
of acid I jump into.
8
00:00:30,340 --> 00:00:31,644
Okay. Wait... Wait, what?
9
00:00:31,645 --> 00:00:33,399
- Wha-What vat of acid?
- What, Morty!
10
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,659
Close the door.
11
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,879
I pre-scouted this location
12
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,999
and placed a vat of fake
acid amongst the real ones.
13
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,487
It's got air hoses and a compartment
of bones at the bottom.
14
00:00:40,488 --> 00:00:42,419
If things go wrong, which they won't,
15
00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:43,739
we jump into the vat of acid,
16
00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:45,379
and I'll release the bones,
they'll float up...
17
00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:47,979
- What is this face you're making?
- Aren't you an inventor?
18
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:50,599
Yeah, what part of a fake acid
vat with built-in air supply
19
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,844
and quick-release bones isn't
inventive enough for you,
20
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,159
and when did my job become
pitching you ideas?
21
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,219
All right! Let's just do this.
22
00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,399
- I have English homework.
- You're still learning English?
23
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,089
That's the language you speak.
24
00:01:01,090 --> 00:01:03,189
How dumb are you?
25
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,560
Interesting choice of
meeting place, Rick.
26
00:01:08,570 --> 00:01:10,119
You like it? My grandson had notes.
27
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,325
- Come on.
- Show him the crystals, Morty.
28
00:01:17,538 --> 00:01:19,449
I'll make lots of money with these.
29
00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:20,833
I'll make lots of those with these.
30
00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:22,459
Well. Those are fake.
31
00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:24,336
- Oh, Jesus [BLEEP] Christ. Come on.
- You gotta be kidding me. Seriously?
32
00:01:24,337 --> 00:01:26,379
You brought fake crystals and a gun?
33
00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:28,214
Beats real crystals and no gun.
34
00:01:28,215 --> 00:01:30,800
Okay, but does anything beat
fake crystals and a fake arm?
35
00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:33,107
Whoa, do you know who I am?!
36
00:01:33,108 --> 00:01:35,347
Even if you kill me, you're a dead man.
37
00:01:35,348 --> 00:01:36,477
Are you serious?
38
00:01:36,478 --> 00:01:37,917
Morty, he's right. We're screwed.
39
00:01:37,918 --> 00:01:39,578
Let's just end it. Quick death, come on.
40
00:01:39,579 --> 00:01:42,188
Aw, man. Oh!
41
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,064
Eh!
42
00:01:44,065 --> 00:01:46,859
Holy [BLEEP]. What the [BLEEP]?
43
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:52,420
_
44
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,390
- Holy [BLEEP].
- What kind of psycho...?
45
00:01:57,398 --> 00:01:59,080
His own grandson?
46
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,499
Guess he took your
threat pretty serious.
47
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,833
Yeah, but it just...
48
00:02:03,834 --> 00:02:05,329
doesn't make any sense.
49
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:07,207
Well, he was a scientist.
50
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:08,899
Maybe he knew more about acid,
51
00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:11,539
maybe it's like the most
painless way to go.
52
00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,679
How could that have been painless?
53
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,379
You saw that pause before
the bones floated up,
54
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:19,340
that had to be five seconds
of unparalleled torture.
55
00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:21,557
I... I can't get my head around it.
56
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:25,057
I-I thought I'd seen
this galaxy at its darkest.
57
00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:28,329
This is... This is gonna
take a while to feel normal.
58
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:29,979
We're pretty good listeners, boss.
59
00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:31,899
Drinks are on us if
you want to talk it out.
60
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:35,629
Thanks, but...
what happened, it happened here.
61
00:02:35,630 --> 00:02:36,979
I don't want to lose the moment.
62
00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:38,079
Take your time, boss.
63
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,779
We'll stay here as long as you want.
64
00:02:39,780 --> 00:02:42,239
Absolutely. I got nowhere to be.
65
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:14,719
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
66
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,899
_
67
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,099
And then little Tommy FlimFlam's
68
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,909
running down the Hyperloop.
69
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,739
His ass is on fire from Xenon fluid,
70
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:27,839
but his AI hologram is
[BLEEP] his own pee [BLEEP].
71
00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:31,719
- Great story, boss.
- Really detailed.
72
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,750
Yeah, well, I got a million of 'em.
73
00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:36,844
All right. I think I'm ready
to deal with the world now.
74
00:03:36,845 --> 00:03:37,979
Let's get out of here.
75
00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:40,667
Should we drop our buddy
in here before we go?
76
00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:41,969
Yeah, probably a good idea.
77
00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:43,309
- _
- Should we use a different vat?
78
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,260
Does acid lose its acid power
the more it dissolves?
79
00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:47,819
What am I, an acidologist?
80
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:49,339
Here, grab that ratlike creature,
81
00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:50,483
we'll do a little test.
82
00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:55,487
Look, if you're going to test
the damn acid, don't use a rat,
83
00:03:55,488 --> 00:03:58,820
take that ladle, grab a spoonful,
and put it in the analyzer.
84
00:04:01,494 --> 00:04:02,499
- Oh!
- Hey!
85
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:03,509
Oh!
86
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,623
Okay, I'd say that's pretty acidy.
87
00:04:05,624 --> 00:04:06,820
Drop him in.
88
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,079
What are you doing?
89
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,727
- You said...
- Not the rat! The guy!
90
00:04:12,728 --> 00:04:14,737
Ooh! Marone!
91
00:04:14,738 --> 00:04:16,899
Look at the size of
the bones on that rat!
92
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:19,969
Oh! How many sets of bones this rat got?
93
00:04:19,970 --> 00:04:21,707
And look how the smaller
ones are shaped!
94
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:23,339
They're like little cartoon bones,
95
00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:25,475
like if you drew a bone in art class!
96
00:04:25,476 --> 00:04:26,847
All right, that tears it.
97
00:04:26,848 --> 00:04:28,439
I'm canceling the rest of my night
98
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,039
and calling a bone scientist.
99
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,217
We're getting to the bottom of this...
100
00:04:31,218 --> 00:04:33,339
Jesus [BLEEP] Christ, enough already!
101
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:34,719
- Oh!
- Hey!
102
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,487
Whoa!
103
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,920
Can we go?
104
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,404
The [BLEEP] is wrong with you?
105
00:04:58,405 --> 00:05:00,119
Just admit it was a shitty idea!
106
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,200
Having a grandson?
107
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:02,847
A vat of fake acid!
108
00:05:02,848 --> 00:05:04,249
Are you dying of dementia?
109
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,659
How are you talking to me like this?
110
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:06,939
Wh-When did you get so cocky?
111
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,619
Tonight! Tonight, Rick!
112
00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:09,799
The night I saw you fail!
113
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,099
- Because you ruined it!
- It was pre-ruined!
114
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:13,427
Oh, was it worse than
when I was a pickle?
115
00:05:13,428 --> 00:05:15,227
Oh-oh-oh that's right,
you weren't there for that.
116
00:05:15,228 --> 00:05:16,739
Turned out kind of cool.
117
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:18,539
- Maybe there's a connection there.
- Excuse me?
118
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:20,819
What's that cool thing
you did without me again?
119
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,499
The awesome thing?
I-I-I guess you wanted a dragon?
120
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,059
Mwah. Unforgettable.
121
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,429
- God, [BLEEP] you.
- Timely, too,
122
00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:29,377
you really got in on that "Game of
Thrones" fever right at the peak.
123
00:05:29,378 --> 00:05:31,939
You trying as hard as you
can to hurt me right now
124
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:34,278
- proves my point.
- I'll let you know when you have a point
125
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,699
and the world will know
when I try to hurt you.
126
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:39,219
Big man, big genius. Big lonely drunk.
127
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,247
Hey, save some of these
atomic-age beatnik zingers
128
00:05:41,248 --> 00:05:43,137
for your English homework, Bukowski.
129
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:47,098
There's no such thing
as a bad idea, Morty.
130
00:05:47,099 --> 00:05:48,930
It's about execution.
131
00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:52,529
No such thing as a bad idea?
132
00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:54,299
Except all of mine, right?
133
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,267
Morty, wanting a dragon isn't an idea.
134
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:57,525
I'm not talking about that!
135
00:05:57,526 --> 00:05:59,667
I'm constantly pitching you ideas, Rick,
136
00:05:59,668 --> 00:06:01,419
and you act like they're not
even worth thinking about!
137
00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:02,959
What, the helicopter lawn chair?
138
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,407
That's just something you saw on TV.
139
00:06:04,408 --> 00:06:06,993
What about my video-game-style
place-saving device?
140
00:06:06,994 --> 00:06:10,219
Oh, my God, here we go.
141
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:12,599
It's a good idea, Rick!
A device that lets you...
142
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,159
Save your place like in a video game,
143
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,699
but in real life so
that you can try stuff
144
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:17,019
and then go back to your save point,
145
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:18,919
yes, Morty, I saw it on "Futurama."
146
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,839
Oh, so you don't do anything
unless it's original?
147
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,599
- I don't do time travel.
- It's not time travel,
148
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,674
- it's saving a place in time...
- Oh, my God,
149
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,127
is this what you think I do?
150
00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:28,181
This is where the heavy
lifting happens in your mind?
151
00:06:28,182 --> 00:06:30,119
Do you have any idea
how much [BLEEP] work
152
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,339
- would have to go into a machine that...
- Ah-ha!
153
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:35,979
- You can't do it!
- I can do anything, Morty.
154
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,523
- Your idea is not worth doing.
- You can't do it.
155
00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:41,219
Before what you're trying
to do was called "negging,"
156
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:42,947
it was called "reverse psychology,"
157
00:06:42,948 --> 00:06:45,406
and incels didn't invent
it, Bugs Bunny did.
158
00:06:45,407 --> 00:06:47,947
- You can't do it.
- There is nothing I cannot do.
159
00:06:47,948 --> 00:06:50,217
- A place-saving video-game thing!
- You're a piece of [BLEEP].
160
00:06:50,218 --> 00:06:51,859
- Just say you can't do it!
- I won't!
161
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:52,879
You won't say you can't?
162
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,239
- [BLEEP] you, Morty!
- [BLEEP] you!
163
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,727
[BLEEP] you!
164
00:06:56,728 --> 00:06:57,753
Son of a bitch.
165
00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,790
- So are you gonna...
- Yes, I'm gonna [BLEEP] do it!
166
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,639
Rick, it's 3:00 a.m.
167
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,559
Wh-Wh-What's going on?
W-Why'd you call me?
168
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,100
You were right, Morty.
169
00:07:12,101 --> 00:07:13,764
I failed. I can't make it.
170
00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:15,499
And honestly, I'm pretty ashamed.
171
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,479
That might be why I've been
so aggressive and unfair
172
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,309
- about rejecting your ideas.
- Rick...
173
00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:20,757
A fake acid vat, Morty?
174
00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:22,749
Maybe I've lost it.
Maybe I never had it.
175
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,459
Hey. C'mon. Y-You know
I didn't mean it that way.
176
00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:26,489
I just think we need to find
better ways to communicate.
177
00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:28,467
I'm sorry. I just...
I lash out sometimes.
178
00:07:28,468 --> 00:07:30,999
I-I-I don't know why I do that!
I'm so ashamed of myself.
179
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,239
Hearing you talk about the vat...
180
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,369
it really opened my eyes.
181
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:34,959
- Like what the [BLEEP] am I even doing?
- Hey. Hey.
182
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,207
I don't like hearing this talk.
You're a great inventor.
183
00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:38,977
We just got a couple things to work on.
184
00:07:38,978 --> 00:07:40,777
Let's start with inventing
a little honesty.
185
00:07:40,778 --> 00:07:42,919
- Sound good?
- Thank you, Morty. Sounds good.
186
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,299
- Or maybe I'll just kill you.
- What?
187
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:45,620
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Rick...
188
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,059
- Because I [BLEEP] did it!
- Oh-ho-ho!
189
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,699
- Booya!
- Holy [BLEEP].
190
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,479
- You did it! You did it!
- I did it, you little son of a bitch!
191
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,219
- How did you...
- Morty, do you want me to explain,
192
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:58,409
or you wanna go have some fun?
193
00:07:58,410 --> 00:07:59,481
I wanna have some fun!
194
00:07:59,482 --> 00:08:00,760
Oh, my God.
195
00:08:00,770 --> 00:08:02,483
Rick, this is... this is... thank you!
196
00:08:02,484 --> 00:08:03,927
You can thank me later. Go nuts.
197
00:08:03,928 --> 00:08:05,167
Best grandpa ever!
198
00:08:05,168 --> 00:08:06,738
That's all I ever wanted to hear.
199
00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:09,859
All right, class,
200
00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:12,119
I know I've been absent for
most of this school year.
201
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,134
I'll be honest with you...
during spring break,
202
00:08:14,135 --> 00:08:15,579
I attended a renaissance faire
203
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:19,164
and fell in love with a buxom
hand-axe juggler half my age.
204
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,099
I overplayed my interest
in her lifestyle
205
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,344
just to get closer to her,
206
00:08:22,345 --> 00:08:23,919
traveling the country with her troupe,
207
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,887
and I am embarrassed to say
I am now an expert blacksmith
208
00:08:26,888 --> 00:08:29,157
with several STDs and a broken heart.
209
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:30,754
I beseech your nasty little asses
210
00:08:30,755 --> 00:08:32,419
to speak on the matter no further.
211
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:35,157
Now that that's out of the way,
who wants to do some math?
212
00:08:35,158 --> 00:08:37,324
- I'll do it.
- A bold move, Morty Smith.
213
00:08:37,325 --> 00:08:38,349
But can you deliver?
214
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:40,198
Oh, I've got something to deliver.
215
00:08:40,199 --> 00:08:41,809
Ahh!
216
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,667
Oh, God. What the hell!
217
00:08:43,668 --> 00:08:45,359
Aw, goddamnit, this is traumatizing.
218
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,537
Oh, my God, what's wrong with your dick?
219
00:08:47,538 --> 00:08:49,572
- Not cool.
- I'm allergic to sheepskin!
220
00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:51,999
Bold move, Morty Smith.
But can you deliver?
221
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,799
Holy [BLEEP]. I can do anything.
222
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,699
Yes, with math, anything is possible.
223
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,389
Except a long-term
relationship with a woman
224
00:08:57,390 --> 00:08:59,875
that calls you a warlock
for using a phone.
225
00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:04,849
Hi, uh, hey, Jessica.
226
00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:06,340
Oh. Hey, Morty.
227
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,159
Hey... Jessica, right?
228
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,221
Um. Yeah. Hi. Sorry.
229
00:09:13,222 --> 00:09:14,567
I thought you knew my name
230
00:09:14,568 --> 00:09:16,079
because we've interacted so many times,
231
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,060
but maybe I was just being stupid.
232
00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:20,407
Sorry. Hi. I-I'm Jessica. That's me.
233
00:09:20,408 --> 00:09:21,521
- Cool. See you around.
- Jessica.
234
00:09:21,522 --> 00:09:23,199
Yeah. I hope I see you.
235
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,919
- Around.
- Guess we'll see.
236
00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:28,819
I think I'm gonna like this thing.
237
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:51,300
_
238
00:09:57,340 --> 00:10:00,184
_
239
00:10:00,185 --> 00:10:03,009
_
240
00:10:08,861 --> 00:10:11,257
Oh shit, suicide by cop!
241
00:10:11,258 --> 00:10:12,827
I love these!
242
00:10:17,286 --> 00:10:19,099
You're living too fast, Morty.
243
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:21,109
I don't pay for your
friendship, Heroin Keith.
244
00:10:21,110 --> 00:10:22,119
Damn.
245
00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:35,317
_
246
00:10:52,487 --> 00:10:54,399
_
247
00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:11,330
_
248
00:14:11,353 --> 00:14:13,980
_
249
00:14:58,530 --> 00:14:59,979
Oh, hi, Jessica.
250
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,699
Hey, I'm sorry I brushed
you off the other day.
251
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:02,879
I was just trying to be cool...
252
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,819
Oh, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
253
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,649
But... you seem different.
254
00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,219
Like you finally found yourself.
255
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:09,702
Yeah. I... I guess I have.
256
00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:12,204
That's good to hear.
I like who you found.
257
00:15:12,205 --> 00:15:13,917
Yeah. Yeah, I do, too.
258
00:15:13,918 --> 00:15:16,249
Looking forward to seeing more.
259
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,419
I'll see you tomorrow, Morty.
260
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:19,588
Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
261
00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:26,419
How's it going?
262
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:28,343
Y'know, it was fun, Rick. Real fun.
263
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,179
Y'know I-I-I definitely
sowed those oats.
264
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,459
But I think you invented
265
00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:33,359
a little lesson for me along the way.
266
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,999
Living without consequences is great,
267
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,359
but then I started wondering...
268
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,772
what am I living for?
What am I building?
269
00:15:38,773 --> 00:15:41,019
If I'm always looking back,
I'm never looking ahead.
270
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,029
And then it hit me.
271
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:44,549
We are who we are
because of consequences.
272
00:15:44,550 --> 00:15:47,740
You can't live without consequences,
y'know? You feel me?
273
00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:50,637
Wow.
274
00:15:50,638 --> 00:15:53,124
That's a beautiful thought,
Morty, but, uh, no.
275
00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:54,739
There were definitely consequences.
276
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,208
What're-What-What are you talking about?
277
00:15:56,209 --> 00:15:58,399
I mean. You did everything you did.
278
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,919
- It all happened.
- No. But the... the respawn button.
279
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,019
- The... The do-over.
- It's not a do-over.
280
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:04,924
You just did it. Over and over.
281
00:16:04,925 --> 00:16:06,550
What are you saying? W-What did you do?
282
00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:08,802
I think it's more appropriate
to ask what did you do?
283
00:16:08,803 --> 00:16:11,199
You see, Morty,
you weren't saving your place
284
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,337
and going back. I don't
respect time travel.
285
00:16:13,338 --> 00:16:16,007
If "Ant Man and the Wasp"
can do it, I'm not interested.
286
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,374
It wasn't so much a do-over
287
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:19,229
as it was isolating a moment in time,
288
00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:20,359
splitting your probable selves,
289
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,199
and shunting you into to
into a near-duplicate,
290
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,779
equally probable reality,
transporting you into it
291
00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:26,610
at the moment of parallel determination.
292
00:16:26,613 --> 00:16:28,877
Pretty nifty. Time crystals
are a bitch and a half,
293
00:16:28,878 --> 00:16:31,799
but the only real hitch is
that there was already a you
294
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,047
in each probable dimension.
295
00:16:33,048 --> 00:16:34,496
So we had to solve for that.
296
00:16:40,252 --> 00:16:41,509
That's right, you little bitch!
297
00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:43,279
It's "The Prestige"!
You "Prestige'd" yourself!
298
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,504
- Rick, how many did I kill?
- You tell me, Morty.
299
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,757
Every time you reset
to smell Jessica's hair,
300
00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:50,094
every time you relived
a satisfying fart,
301
00:16:50,095 --> 00:16:51,897
that's how many Mortys
you've incinerated,
302
00:16:51,898 --> 00:16:53,297
you greedy little junkie.
303
00:16:53,298 --> 00:16:55,349
Oh, God... even those times when I...
304
00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:57,009
Especially those times.
305
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,999
It's over, Morty. Feel this.
306
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,435
- Take this in. This is God.
- Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh...
307
00:17:01,436 --> 00:17:02,707
Why would you do this?
308
00:17:02,708 --> 00:17:05,104
My hands are clean, Morty.
I gave you a choice.
309
00:17:05,105 --> 00:17:06,439
You could listen to me explain,
310
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,077
in great scientific detail,
how it all works...
311
00:17:09,078 --> 00:17:10,249
or you could have fun.
312
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:13,139
- Did you have fun, Morty?
- Is this because of the vat?
313
00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:14,869
- No.
- I'm sorry.
314
00:17:14,870 --> 00:17:16,339
I'm afraid it's too
late for that, Morty.
315
00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:18,622
What's done is done, but it can end.
316
00:17:18,623 --> 00:17:20,727
The original split is still timestamped.
317
00:17:20,728 --> 00:17:22,994
I can make it so those
Mortys never existed at all,
318
00:17:22,995 --> 00:17:24,539
make them purely theoretical.
319
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:25,549
Oh, God. What do I do?
320
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,047
I think it's clear you've done enough.
321
00:17:27,048 --> 00:17:29,466
Tell me how, Rick! Tell me
how I save those Mortys!
322
00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:30,837
You live with the consequences.
323
00:17:30,838 --> 00:17:32,167
Those things happened somewhere,
324
00:17:32,168 --> 00:17:34,107
but you can merge the probable realities
325
00:17:34,108 --> 00:17:35,807
so that only one Morty did them.
326
00:17:35,808 --> 00:17:37,349
Just do it.
327
00:17:37,350 --> 00:17:38,719
All right, lemme just sync these up
328
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,729
and get you back to your dimension.
329
00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:41,760
Wait, so... so you're not even my Rick?
330
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,299
Then... Then why do you
know about the vat?
331
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:44,639
Every Rick has a vat!
332
00:17:55,088 --> 00:17:56,349
Well, Morty,
333
00:17:56,350 --> 00:17:58,579
I'd say we've invented
a little honesty today.
334
00:17:58,580 --> 00:18:00,340
- How about you?
- I don't deserve this.
335
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:01,413
I was just having fun.
336
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,439
So was Jeffrey Dahmer.
337
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,767
Speaking of, time to pay the piper.
338
00:18:06,588 --> 00:18:09,337
Morty Smith.
339
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,089
Come out with your hands
up, you sick [BLEEP].
340
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,539
We're also fine with just shooting you
341
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:15,179
if you wanna suicide by cop.
342
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,379
What? What is this?
343
00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,014
Wow. Looks like a SWAT Team,
344
00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:19,179
some drug dealers,
345
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:22,259
some grassroots MeToo
activists, the ACLU...
346
00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:23,940
Jesus, Morty, the AARP?
347
00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:26,787
- I don't wanna talk about it!
- The NAACP, GamerGate...
348
00:18:26,788 --> 00:18:29,859
Morty, is that Supreme Court
Justice Sonia Sotomayor?
349
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,479
I'm sorry! I... I'm sorry!
350
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,796
I-Is that what you want me to say?
351
00:18:32,798 --> 00:18:35,167
- What... What do I do?
- Oof, well, I'm stumped.
352
00:18:35,168 --> 00:18:37,139
Seems like there's no
way out of this one.
353
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:38,279
Unless...
354
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,919
God damn it.
355
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,239
Yeah, I guess it is, uh...
what did you call it?
356
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,439
Uh, uh, "A shitty idea"?
357
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,999
- God damn it.
- Say the vat is good.
358
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,080
- The vat is good.
- Kiss the vat.
359
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,259
Do not go into that vat.
360
00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,187
It appears to be full of acid.
361
00:18:56,188 --> 00:18:58,299
It is! Please, he's just a little boy!
362
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:00,470
- Let me talk to him.
- Tell him we're very upset!
363
00:19:00,475 --> 00:19:01,884
Morty, please. Step back.
364
00:19:01,885 --> 00:19:03,479
That vat is full of acid.
365
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,799
It'll melt you completely,
leaving only your bones.
366
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,519
- Goddamn it!
- I'm sorry, what did you say?
367
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,649
I'm going in the vat!
368
00:19:11,403 --> 00:19:14,837
Oh! God! Aw, I blame myself!
369
00:19:14,838 --> 00:19:16,073
Oh, what a tragedy.
370
00:19:16,074 --> 00:19:18,737
This... Oh, well, he's bones now.
371
00:19:18,738 --> 00:19:20,007
I guess all debts are paid.
372
00:19:20,008 --> 00:19:21,847
Agreed. He's definitely dead.
373
00:19:21,848 --> 00:19:24,209
Why else would the bones come up?
374
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,249
While his actions were horrifying
375
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:28,759
and we are well within our
rights to be outraged,
376
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,169
I do wonder if we bear
some responsibility
377
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,459
for this young man
melting himself in acid.
378
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:35,990
Are we here for justice...
or something else?
379
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,449
"Though justice be thy
plea, consider this,
380
00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:41,539
that in the course of justice...
381
00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:44,060
none of us should see salvation.
382
00:19:44,070 --> 00:19:45,889
We do pray for mercy."
383
00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:47,299
"Merchant of Venice," nice.
384
00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:50,659
- Very cool. Lots to think about.
- Vengeance is a tomb,
385
00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:51,759
- all-encompassing...
- All right, okay,
386
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,069
this isn't a poetry
reading, a kid just died.
387
00:19:54,070 --> 00:19:57,399
Everybody go home and hug
your loved one or something.
388
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,339
Wait.
389
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:05,119
How do we know that's really acid
390
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,057
and you didn't just have
someone's bones in there?
391
00:20:07,058 --> 00:20:08,657
I mean, if you're doubting
if that's really acid
392
00:20:08,658 --> 00:20:10,389
and not just jacuzzi-heated
Mountain Dew,
393
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,827
you're welcome to use this ladle.
394
00:20:11,828 --> 00:20:13,799
You think I'm a goddamn idiot?
395
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,883
Brought my own.
396
00:20:18,370 --> 00:20:20,554
_
397
00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:21,719
Aah!
398
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,199
Oh, God! Oh, God no!
399
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,434
Oh, God, no! Oh, no... Huh?
400
00:20:24,435 --> 00:20:26,299
I'm acid-proof!
401
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,719
[BLEEP] all of you. [BLEEP] all of you,
402
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:29,899
I'm gonna be rich!
403
00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:31,079
Here's my ass.
404
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,147
Take a good look, spank it!
405
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:34,777
Acid proof!
406
00:20:34,778 --> 00:20:37,747
Feels like that guy had
other stuff going on.
407
00:20:37,748 --> 00:20:40,109
Don't ever make fun of me again.
408
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,242
Ever!
409
00:20:42,288 --> 00:20:43,787
All right, c'mon Morty, let's go home.
410
00:20:43,788 --> 00:20:45,639
Wait, what? This...
This isn't our reality?
411
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:46,926
What, you think I'd waste our home
412
00:20:46,928 --> 00:20:48,589
teaching you a [BLEEP] lesson?
413
00:20:48,590 --> 00:20:50,419
I am gonna miss this place, though...
414
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:52,297
Johnny Carson's still
alive and on the air,
415
00:20:52,298 --> 00:20:53,667
9/11 never happened,
416
00:20:53,668 --> 00:20:55,279
and Rocky Road ice cream
has peanut butter
417
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,100
- instead of marshmallows.
- The fu... What?
418
00:20:57,108 --> 00:20:58,359
The marshmallows are the best part!
419
00:20:58,360 --> 00:20:59,639
Morty...
420
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:05,840
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
421
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,754
_
422
00:21:36,881 --> 00:21:38,847
Our next guest, ah, gave us,
423
00:21:38,848 --> 00:21:40,517
well, actually, very little information,
424
00:21:40,518 --> 00:21:44,817
ah, besides the fact that he
is, uh, impervious to acid.
425
00:21:44,818 --> 00:21:46,814
So here he is, he's here to prove it.
426
00:21:46,815 --> 00:21:47,960
Let's welcome this guy.
427
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:50,940
Let's do this shit!
428
00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:52,379
Now, you're, uh...
you're sure about this?
429
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:53,389
Eat my [BLEEP].
430
00:21:53,390 --> 00:21:54,979
- Hoist me!
- I did not know that ass
431
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,979
was on the menu.
432
00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:58,499
Don't steal my moment!
433
00:21:58,500 --> 00:21:59,599
- Do it!
- Ah, okay,
434
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,560
then without further ado... drop him.
435
00:22:02,568 --> 00:22:03,989
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
436
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,399
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
437
00:22:17,839 --> 00:22:20,847
Looks like I'll be
eating [BLEEP] flambé.
438
00:22:22,688 --> 00:22:23,844
Please kill me.
439
00:22:23,845 --> 00:22:28,259
_
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