Original subtitles

We begin the story on a dark and cold night...

...night...

In the middle of no where... out in the woods...

...woods...

...in those woods, an old man was experimenting in the dark arts...

...dark arts...

dark arts?

yeah, witchcraft and stuff

wait... I though a witch was a chick

the old man would spend years by himself experimenting on corpses that he dug up at the local graveyard

some say...!

that he would begin to build an army of the undead to take over and rule the world...

...the world...

but something went terribly wrong...

the corpses overwhelmed him and consumed his flesh

dude... stop ruining the story

sorry

after killing their master they would wait for years for their next victim

knock it off

after having nowhere to go the corpses would return to the earth in which they came

they would bury themselves in the ground in these very woods

can you hear them?

can you hear them underneath us right now?

dude, stop with the lame moan!

that wasn't me

whatcha reading Ed?

ahh it is 58.27 on the ecto wave length

what is that a class five?

no, barely a class four

Let's book this ghost da-no!

It's “let's book 'em, Danno!”

you stupid commie where are you from, Fakestain?

Move!

Right there fella. For you, the war is over.

Alright kids this is the part where you shield your eyes

I'm closing the trap in three... two... one...

How did you guys get here so fast?

We were on the neighborhood when we picked up on this phantasm signal.

What's this?

Give me that.

You ain't 21 are ya?

um, ahehem... yeah dude

Yeah right. Pavel!

nice!

Ed looks like you're driving

shouldn't you kids be at home studying?

dude, it is Saturday

you know, you really shouldn't drink alcohol

Studies have shown that alcohol leads to a decrease in brain function.

drugs are bad too

and... drunk driving and... abortion is... ... well I don't really have an opinion on that

who are you guys?

We're the Ghostbusters.

RETURN OF THE GHOSTBUSTERS

If there's something strange in your neighborhood

Who ya gonna call?

GHOSTBUSTERS

If there's something weird and it don't look good

Who ya gonna call?

GHOSTBUSTERS

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Who are you going to call indeed?

the Denver Ghostbusters

those paranormal eliminators who protect the safety of ‘Joe Public'

Ed Spengler, nephew of ghostbusting great Egon Spengler

team leader, scientist and television star

Pavel Karnov trained by the best after the fall of the iron curtain

I like what I do

Neil Anderson ladies man, and self proclaimed bad ass

excuse me, are you guys worried that you're gonna put yourselves out of a job?

out of a job? are you crazy man?

as long as people keep dying there will always be ghosts

what about the activists that are rallying around the rights of ghosts?

look

I am a real busy guy

would you like an autograph or something?

the Ghostbusters arrived in Denver three years ago, and defeated Freddy Krueger...

How come channel 4 gets all the sensations?

these guys are a joke man

they're better than anything you two have turned in in the past week

our story last night was great I mean

the firemen prevailed, the kitten was rescued and...

shut up

it was a story of hope

April, I thought you were better than this

channel 4 is getting all the news

I just hope the advertisers don't find out about it and pull out

you know... we need something good

like these Ghostbusters are a hot item right now

Ghostbusters?

oh... ok... so... I'm better than stories about kittens trapped in trees

but I'm not quiet good enough for real news

April, I know you're bitter about the anchor position

but I need you in the field

this is embarrassing chief I need a real story

now...

there are these Egyptian artifacts coming into town

Frederic's team is on this

they've got an interview set up with Dr. Konstantin

he's the chief archaeologist

Frederic's pieces are so flat

come on put me on this one chief

Yeah! give us a chance

I tell you what... if you can get an appointment with the Ghostbusters

Then I'll give you a follow up interview with Dr. Konstantin

Just like you let me have that anchor position right chief

April

Let's just take it

if we get a hold of the Ghostbusters by tomorrow then

we could have the production in post by tomorrow afternoon

mmm... in time for the evening news...

now that would be good competition for channel 4

Mr. Jenks, I really don't think that this is a good story

I don't wanna take it

you should be thanking me for what I give you

Now just take it, go and do your job

Uh Oh!

good morning sunshine

you know how Ed always compares a human brain to a sponge

yeah yeah

with the soaking up information and stuff

yeah

it feels like somebody used my brain to clean a toilet

and then tried to ring it out

big night last night?

yeah I hit it pretty hard with a friend

Pavel?

Jack Daniels

where are the guys anyway?

Ed's TV show they are taping this afternoon

No, those punks don't get a day off if they get a day off I get a day off

look

hold down my calls, cuz once my ass hits that couch

I'm not getting up until dinner time

Quantum Leap reruns all day

I AM NOT HERE

Good Morning Denver Ghostbusters

I am sorry none of them are available

no ma'am I... OK... hold on

Neil she wants to talk to you

give me the phone

hi ma'am how you doing?

yeah great

look, we are pretty booked up over here

swimming in specters and such let me see if we've got any openings

you're gonna regret it

it's looking like the last Wednesday of the month is the earliest

so I think I'm gonna pass you back off to my secretary here

You go ahead and give her your number we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

thanks a bunch for calling

I'm sorry about that ma'am. I'll have 'em call you back.

yeah, and your number was... ok... and your name was...

APRIL HUNTER

APRIL HUNTER! APRIL HUNTER!

channel 8 news April Hunter? the hot chick?

You said you weren't interested.

the hot chick... what she want? she want an interview?

she want me?

She wanted to meet the Ghostbusters. I told her you'll call her back.

did you get her number?

Yes, off course I got her number. It's right here.

alright! alright! call her back, tell her I can meet her this afternoon ok?

but Ed and Pavel are taping this afternoon

Who cares, they've got their own lime light.

It's time for me to get a piece, alright.

Besides, don't you think I'm professional enough to handle one little interview?

It's Ed Spengler.

He's the science nerd.

greetings and welcome to the show

I'm Ed Spengler, the science nerd, and this is my esteemed colleague:

Pavel Karnov.

Now today we'll be putting the finishing touches on the neutron accelerator.

For those of you joined us at home, don't forget proper protection.

good point Pavel

That's why I recommend a level 4 radiation suit, complete with 2, not 1,

but 2 layers of lead paneling,

a heart monitor, and a gamma ray tuned built in Geiger counter.

But since we don't have any of that we'll use safety goggles,

and rubber gloves, which can be purchased at your local hardware store.

This is good opportunity to support local business, not corporate whores.

now... Pavel we need to speak kindly about our sponsors

Once this miniature reactor is finished we'll be able to generate

an energy field by converting hydrogen into helium.

woo, it sounds very dangerous

it is

that's why we have the sub-atomic housing set

to counter the intense gravitational field and heat

that'll be generated by the process

for those of you following along at home don't forget your sub-atomic house?

ok, you see here, we got the standard proton pack

ok, we got... little knobs here to adjust stream length

and stream intensity

I don't know what that does

uhm... yes, that's very interesting but could we perhaps get some footage of you firing it for the story?

in here?

why not? you're professional aren't you?

well...

yeah...

yeah...

damn straight I am a professional we can do that, sure why not

alright Gallagher get this

I'm on it

you guys are gonna wanna step back a little

there we go

a little further

yeah... ok. are you guys ready?

oh yeah

alright let's go ahead and switch this thing on

alright

I'll give you guys a little show here we go!

ok...

ok.. uhm...

hum...

ah... yeah...

see I am a professional you see that

the ceiling is now on fire

and I'm not worried

maybe you should

yeah absolutely

hold this

that about does it for the fundamental particle chamber

we should now be able to positively and negatively charge

electrons at a rate similar to that found in small stars

like Gary Coleman or would he be considered a small has-been?

What you talkin' 'bout Pavel?

this here is the protection grid for the ecto containment unit

it's been upgraded from the old system and it is now all digital

So you keep people's souls in a computer.

well.. yeah... I gue... yeah

that's right actually... uhm...

let me just show you if you...

go right here...

just... just a second it's ok uhm...

well... well it's... uhm it's fine it does this all the time

we should step back

coming back in 30 seconds

hello

ED!

quick you've gotta get back here man the containment unit is trying to

p... p.. perjurate

what?

what did you do?

I don't know I was just clicking on somethin...

is that an alarm I hear in the background?

maybe

yes

alright, I'll be there in six and a half minutes

Pavel you're gonna have to take over

what? what should I do?

it'll be easy, just talk to the camera

there is only a few minutes left to the show anyway

ok

Do not touch anything!

hey where the hell are you going?

I got to stop the containment unit from purging

can't you just wait there is ten minutes left to the show

in ten minutes half the city will be vaporized

besides I've got Pavel covering for me

so we've been at this for a few years now so that's pretty good

the boys back in Manhattan they get sued all the time

we've been lucky we've avoided that issue

so I had this dream last night right more like a nightmare

I was trapped in these movies and I couldn't get out

does that ever happen?

what?

you're 30 seconds late man

I got held out coming out of the studio

Neil, I've told you a million times do not mess around with the containment unit

especially the protection grid

will you relax man? it's for a news story

I figured we could use the publicity

Hi, I'm April Hunter from channel 8 news.

Ed Spengler, paranormal elimination and investigation

so...

I suppose you're curious as how the containment unit works

actually yes I am curious

well, it's pretty basic really we are all made up of atoms

which are basically electrical particles vibrating and bouncing around

now the law of conservation states that energy cannot be created or destroyed

so when a person dies, their life energy disperses throughout the galaxy

to heaven or hell or whatever it is you believe in

but sometimes for whatever reasons some of that energy sticks around and

uhm, that's what keeps us in business

harvesting souls

electrical anomalies Miss Hunter

psychokinetic energy

and with the encoder I built we can convert those ghosts into a signal

and from there it's a snap to store 'em in the computer

provided Pavel hasn't crammed the memory full of porn

like I said

it's simply erratic residual energy left over when a person dies

we're not talkin' Dante's inferno here

and who are you to decide the fate of humanity's souls?

first off, we bust ‘bad ghosts'

and frankly, ‘goblins' have killed in the past making it quiet serious

my colleague is right

our clients call us when they have a problem

if our work wasn't satisfactory then we wouldn't get paid

so what it really comes down to IS your money

look, don't make me your “straw man”

we're scientists here

well... I'm a scientist

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be the objective reporter here

get the facts straight

well then get this straight

around here people consider us heroes

we help people in this town and we do damn fine work

believe we have everything we need

that's it

bye

hey

wait a second

wait up

I cannot wait to see the footage on this guys

I think this is gonna make a great story

I think it went really well in there

well, you're in luck hopefully it'll air tonight

very very cool

very cool

you know what, you never thanked me to saving your life in there

he saved my life

you know if I recall correctly it was uhm... Mr. Spengler

that turned off the containment system before it went critical

if anything you almost ended my life

come on

ouch!

hey wait a minute

wait wait wait wait

how about I make it up to you over dinner?

dinner?

- Shut up! - Shut up!

I gotta a 12 pack with your name on it

I'd love to, I really would but I uhm.. I gotta another interview to do

yeah but, is he a celebrity? I mean... come on

yeah he is I'm sure you've heard of him

Klaus Konstantin he's been in the news quite a lot

yeah, rings a bell

so what? you date all your assignments?

no, just the ones that aren't jerks

come on

we're here on location near the ancient Egyptian city

of Cinépolis where Dr. Klaus Konstantin

and his team have made a remarkable discover

tell us about it professor

well sir, it would appear that what we have discovered

is in fact the amulet of Anubis

and what is... what is that?

the amulet of Anubis is an ancient talisman

fabled to carry the powers of Anubis

the most ancient guardian of the under world

according to ancient Egyptian beliefs

sounds very... old

Ed, how many times are we gonna watch this tape?

I'm very worried about this story Neil

all right let's hear it

well, I've been researching this amulet that Konstantin has recovered

Anubis is an incredibly ancient god, the god of the underworld according to ancient Egyptian myth

He was responsible of escorting souls through the after life to their final judgment.

He was also responsible for feeding souls of sinners to Ammit...

the eater of the dead.

so, what? no heaven?

no anything

being fed to Ammit meant the soul would vanish into an oblivion with no further hope of existence

so Konstantin can eat souls with this amulet thingy

well... sort of

if he figured out how to decipher it he can open up a gateway to an alternate dimension

the after life or Hall of Two Truths according to ancient Egyptian mythology

Pavel, you're just in time, Ed is making another apocalypse prediction

and we're going to be studying the find in my lab in Denver later this week

Professor Konstantin!

what? you know him?

I'll tell you what, you stay here and day dream about Konstantin all you want.

I'm hit'n the bar

you down?

you buying?

you driving?

it's a deal comrade let's drink

let's do it

if this talisman actually carries the powers of Anubis

I'll be interested in finding ways to harness 'em

perhaps as a weapon

for the good of mankind of course

what are you up to professor?

here's the crate you asked for professor

excellent

thank you

the amulet of Anubis

something I've been searching for my entire professional life

where are the the rest of the crates from the expedition?

they're on their way to the museum

well I'll need some time with this one

I'll bring it back tomorrow

personally

alright whatever you say sir

oh...

ahhh sir?

I don't know if this is something you'd be interested or not

but a couple of us are gonna go down to Chuck E. Cheese

a little later on try to pick up some MILFS

some what?

yeah, you know there's lots of them that hang out there for some reason

mechanical puppets or something I don't know

but I didn't really wanna tell you, they just asked me to ask you so...

you wanna do it or not?

some other time perhaps

I have a later engagement

wow with a woman?

%$^&*@! of course with a woman

a nice beautiful reporter woman

is it so hard to believe that a man...

that a man like me

can find love

no...

no!

I mean yeah but it's not because your crippled

alright it's because you're not very good looking

and... don't take that the wrong way

you know you're not very good looking just look in the mirror, goddamn it

quiet

I'll see you tomorrow

alright, stay and fondle your little amulet or whatever

have a good time without me

so Pavel, tell me what you know about professor bubble boy

I just don't think he is a nice fellow, that's all

hey look, we're on television 8

ahh... for Christ's sakes can somebody change the channel in here?

I don't wanna see her

hey, I know what's up you're sweet on this reporter girl aren't you?

what? no way man! argh

no... no...

well...

sort of

yeah...

definitely

why don't you just ask her out?

what the hell do you know about women anyway?

women just like confidence, watch this

hello lady

I know someone who wants to beat your ass

oh yeah?! who?

my balls

you're cute

see

you gotta be shitting me man it's the worst line I've ever heard

ah geez! Are these crack pots at it again.

what was that chief?

these Ghostbuster freaks, they're crack pots

idiots like them give the country a bad name

you know what I think,

I think your mouth makes this country look bad

makes it smell bad too

hum

what do we get here? piss?

is this your beverage of choice at this fine establishment?

you smart mouth

hey! you're better watch what you say to me

Stupid face!

I say whatever I want sausage tits

no you won't sausage face

why don't you uh, stop...

repeating my insults and adding the word face to 'em, you moron?

hey, relax comrades, OK?

hey, blow it out your ass your communist pig

hey!

what's up?

Bring it on you butt hole!

what's that thing you're working on?

well... by using miniature micro fusion reactions

it creates quantum leaps in atoms forming super charged electron particles

this in turn causes the protons to be held together at 10,000 times the force in a standard proton pack

sounds complicated

elementary really

it's a prototype of a new pack I'm working on

I call it the neutrino pack

Ghostbusters

hi Annie, it's Neil

IT'S NEIL

Hello

hey Ed

can you come pick me and Pavel up?

what? you guys can't walk home?

not without posting bail

alright, I guess I'll have to TiVO American Idol

that interview... that was a lot of fun

that was a lot of presence

thank you very much

I had a wonderful time tonight April

that's great

well... uhm... this is my place

April it's lovely

April

darling

you've been addressing me as mister all night

Please call me Klaus

Mr. Konstantin

What is it?

I like you a lot I enjoy your company greatly

I just had to do an interview and that's all that I really...

Just one moment please

hello

good evening Mr. Konstantin

can this not wait until morning?

the rest of the board wanted me to call as soon as possible

what information does the Congrie have to send?

they're pulling funding for you project Klaus

What! You can't do this

I've only begun deciphering the...

the board feels the company has already lost enough money on this project

they're not seeing the results you promised

I said the damned amulet would take time to decipher

you're not being fair

we have a dead line to meet we're going to go with another project

you back stabbers!

we had a deal

Lab Rat Enterprises produces weapons for military use, Mr. Konstantin

you're talking about some sort of ‘god stone' that consumes the souls of the living

yes!...

and what greater weapon is there!?

an offer is on the table that we can't refuse

goodbye

sons of bitches

you said the amulet was for educational purposes

you said that it was for the good of mankind

it shows what the hell you know

There isn't enough money in education to pay for a Greyhound ticket to Wichita.

you're two face jerk

listen here you little tootsie roll

I'm a scientist, we don't work for free

live with it

you are just trying to make a quick buck

and it's disgusting, you are disgusting

and what do you know? hum? what do you know?

you're just a media whore probably sleeping you're way to the top

and the only reason you've got this job is because you're so young and pretty

argh!

how dare you strike me, I'm a powerful scholar!

I'll have you, I'm a powerf... arhh sweet harvesty!

Jesus! ED

you look like hell

late night

so... did the ratings come in?

yeahhh

that's what I wanna talk to you about

did we get the new time slot?

look Ed, don't get me wrong, I like you, we all like you

we think you do a good show, but it's just...

you don't really connect with our younger audience

this is a science show

kids aren't gonna be interested in this unless it has some overrated actor playing pranks on other celebrities

or pimping someone's ride

this is an educational show, doesn't the government pay for part of this?

yeah...

but...

we also lost three advertisers last week

so you're canceling the show

no no no no no

definitely not

so what's the problem then do you want me to be funnier?

we're replacing you

what?

we need someone who can connect with the kids, someone cooler

someone street smart

someone...

jive!

like who?

I'm not interrupting anything, am I Robert?

Levar, come on in I like you to meet Ed Spengler

oh... alright, nice to meet you, I heard so much about you

you're a Ghostbuster, right?

how are things?

uhm... couldn't be better

sorry I have to meet you like this but... hey... I'm sure you'll get by

you're soul harvesting business is doing good

what is it with that term?

what else are you supposed to call it?

the same thing we've always called it, busting ghosts

now look Rob, I've been hosting this show for six months

I've got two PhDs, he's not qualified

actually I have a PhD and I'm working on my second

come on he's like fifteen

actually he's the youngest ever to receive a PhD from Cornell

he's like the black Doogie Howser

thank you, and I've written a New York Times best seller

give me a break, anybody who's been published is on that list

Dr. Phil is on that list for a diet book.

a diet book!

well... let's just say he's not exactly in shape himself

I know this is tough to grasp look Ed, Like I said, we like you

we'll keep you in mind for other shows

hey, and why don't you use your ‘talents' to benefit mankind instead of enslaving its afterlife?

maybe I'll save a soul for you

seems like you could use one

ser setam shamzoozoo nerhuntai umpatcha

nah furie shahm shahvin

Ammit sudin je Klaus Konstantin

miri hi ni pertet

I request the power and accept the burden

Anubis, god of the two halls

I request the power and accept the burden

damn it

what's wrong here? I did everything

I deciphered the language

of course

I need to power the amulet

and the only way to do that is with a celestial sacrifice

of course

a human soul

not something I can pick up at the super market

or Seven Eleven

and how long can I contain it for as long as I need it

...trap the ghosts then we can store 'em in this containment facility as long as necessary

actually, indefinitely if need be

Ghostbusters

there, now that's news

April your ratings are up

hardly, I mean that story was nothing

all we had to do was point the camera and that idiot blabbermouth did the rest

they were cool though

yeah... so what's next chief? something a little bit more exciting?

next? this is a gold mine, people can't get enough of this stuff

I want you to go back to these folks

back?

hell yes

this is a gold mine

I wanna week long exposé

I want to show the city what is like to be a Ghostbuster for a week

no! no no no no

you sent Frederic to Egypt you made Adam anchor what do they have that I don't?

April, you'll get your chance yet

now just do your job, go out there, dig up some dirt

so this is all about making them look bad?

no, it's about business

this isn't right

- It's not about right or wrong it's... - I just don't like the idea of making them look bad

hell...

April, I'm trying to do you a favor, this is good stuff, I want you to be out there I want you to...

ok April, if you do this for me, I'll make you anchor by the end of the month

anchor... wow... I just...

now go, go do your job ok?

and show some enthusiasm, will you?

oh, I'm enthused

greetings

oh... hello! may I help you?

yes, I'm here to see the Ghostbusters

ok... well they're on a case right now would you like to make an appointment?

yes, what'd you have at the earliest?

well... ah... let's see here, they're pretty busy

it looks like

the first available would be next Thursday

ssssssssssleeeeep

it's beautiful

he hey! buddy!

do you have any change buddy?

change?

yeah! you know nickels, dimes, quarters... you know, anything like that would be great

oh god! you're repulsive

I'm not picky so...

why you ask a man in crippled, a cripple man for change!?

why don't we see what this thing is?

I have seen one of those, is there money in there?

you should be the first to find out

disgusting man

I have your pathetic soul

my first one

hahahaha

with this offering, I accept the gift and the burden of some of your great power

hahahaha...

Ha Hahahaha!...

hoh, oh Hahahahaha!

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...

wo, wo, wo, whoa

let me try the new pack this time

I don't think so I still to test a bit

come on man, why do you getta have all the fun?

look, I'm taking a big enough risk by bringing it here already with all the press coverage we've been getting

that's such a BS you know what?

just let me try the new pack, I mean what's the worst that could happen?

look, this is not a piece of equipment to toy with if it goes critical it could detonate a 60 gigaton explosion

or worse

collapse on to its self creating matter so dense that it becomes a black hole

why is it that every time we get a new piece of equipment, you dive into the science talk?

all I wanna do is try out the new pack and I don't see what the big deal is

come on Ed, just let him try it

even Pavel!, come on man

alright, alright I just want you to take it seriously

I take everything seriously, you know that

serious is my middle name

thank god you guys are here

how many are there?

uhm, more than one for sure... uhm this isn't too much trouble, is it?

only for your bank account pal

I'm sorry, there is a “no smoking” in here

thanks

my P.K.E. integrated cellphone seems to be malfunctioning

what's the matter? you ran out of minutes there, jack ass?

It definitely is a strong signal

Pavel! use your ecto motion tracker

right

I've got something here

multiple signals, front and behind

what? where man? I don't see anything

look sharp people

they're closing

there

good evening

please forgive me for my intrusion I promise to be brief

yes

damn it, you go that way, I'll go this way

you could just told me, gee

Neil, you wait here

hello, channel 8?

you might wanna send someone down to the Mayan Theater

quickly

the Ghostbusters are attacking the staff

noooo, the Ghostbusters

no the Ghostbusters, they're attacking t...

Ghostbusters

they're taking their god damned souls

Ed, we might have something here

what is it?

a whole bunch of ectoplasm

yeah, I've got some in here as well

yeah, there's a lot here

on the ceiling

well, what's a lot? we've seen loads of this stuff before

it's... bubbling?

is that a question or an observation?

goddamn I'm good

Neil, quick turn down the electron flow

where?

You IDIOT!

what happened?

You just completely destroyed a SOUL!

- destroyed?- I told you to turn it DOWN!

I don't know how to work this goddamned thing

Can you comprehend the implications of what you just did?

You just completely obliterated a soul!

well, it was bad right?

ED!

Ed come on!

an unknown source has claimed that the Ghostbusters are responsible for putting the employees of this theater into comas

however...

comas?

one of our packs malfunctioned and destroyed a ghost

so the Ghostbusters are now murdering spirits

wait a second, that was an accident

April, what the hell are you doing?

I'm doing my job, just like you

Do you know anything about these comas?

look, I don't know what the hell went on out here.

That was the scene downtown tonight when the Ghostbusters started attacking innocent people.

Uh, the new pack wasn't thoroughly tested, and it somehow malfunctioned, and a soul was destroyed.

It was my fault really. I just should have tested it more thoroughly.

Ed Spengler, leader of the Denver Ghostbusters, also built the machine that destroyed the ghost.

Ed and team have been under scrutiny, questioning the ethics behind what they do.

And tonight's instant has caught the attention of the federal government,

Who will reportedly seek to pass legislation on “ghostbusting”, as well as dealings with the afterlife.

Get that camera out of my face!

A cease and desist has already been ordered on the Denver Ghostbusters.

As more coma victims continue to pile up across the city.

April

What's the deal wh.. Why are you trying to make us look bad.

It's nothing personnel Neil, it's just the news.

Yeah, it's just bad news.

Yeah well, bad news is the only type of news that sells OK.

People don't like hearing about happy stories

They like hearing about stories that make their miserable little lives seem a little bit better.

What really happened in there Neil?

I don't know. We came down here. It was a routine bust. come outside, and this

Everybody thinks we're...

bad.

I don't think that you're that bad.

Then why do the story?

I don't... I don't kn... my boss, he just thinks that this will help my career and I jus...

Alright... alright.

Why don't we just...

Why don't we talk about it over...

dinner.

What do we want?... GHOST RIGHTS!

When do we want it?... NOW!

What do we want?... GHOST RIGHTS!

When do we want it?... NOW!

Hey!

You awake?

Oh... uh, I must've dosed off.

You better go home and get some sleep.

Yeah.

Hey!... where are you going?

Ahh.. Can it MacGyver! I don't need anymore of your crap.

I'm taking April to dinner.

Oh, oh, hurts dunn't!

Ohhh!

What, no Jaguar?

It's in the shop.

Oh, OK, thanks.

Sparks in the air tonight.

Dropping off or picking up?

Um, neither...

Uh, good evening ma'am, this is uh, Agent J.

I'm Agent K. We'd like to ask you a few questions.

We found this man behind your establishment.

Did anybody see or hear anything this evening?

No, I was playing video games all night, and earlier I was watching ‘Batman and Robin', and then before...

I'm not looking for an alibi tonight ma'am. I'm just look'n to ask ya a few questions.

Wait, ‘Batman and Robin'? The television show or the crappy George Clooney movie?

I didn't think it was that bad!

Oh please... all the cool, icy, chill, freeze, analogies.

My god, the bat suit had nipples on it!

Ok... First of all, we need to get this man to a hospital.

Second!...

Any movie with Uma Thurman in it is ok in my book man.

We're gonna need an ambulance at 7345 South Seventeenth Street. I got a 10-20...

I got a 10-Fif...

What's the code for comatose?

I got a coma guy!

This is very strange.

I'm getting a zero-point-zero reading on the P.K.E. Meter

What does that mean?

The P.K.E. Meter detects even the slightest amount of psycho kinetic energy.

Every living soul on the planet emits at least some signal.

This man...

He has no soul.

What is he, a politician?

No, it appears that someone or some... thing has stolen this man's soul.

I'd like to get him inside, I could do a few tests.

No can do doc, we got the ambulance on the way right now.

This guy appears to be in the same condition that the other were at the Mayan Theatre.

Are they alright? I haven't heard anything.

They're all down at St. Mary's

- They're still alive but... - Sleep'n it off like this guy.

I'm afraid this doesn't look to good for your company sir.

I swear, I had nothing to do with this.

If I can get him inside, I could run a few tests and I can figure all of this out

Murderers!

Mess'n with ghosts isn't good enough, now you have to mess with the living.

Wait right here.

So, should we take the body inside?

Yep.

Hey well, I had a great time tonight.

I did too. We should get together and do it again sometime.

Definitely, only I pick the place next time. Ok?

- What, no fish tacos? - No, no fish tacos!

Those were good!

Yeah, I'm thinking something a little bit more authentic. Italian maybe... candles?

Yeah, we can do that.

But hey, I'm tired, I'm gonna get to bed.

Yeah I...

I got stuff to do too, so.

Ok

- night - good night

Oh, hey, drive careful

Hey, it's me!

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Bye

Hey I saw that you pussy. Too lame to go in for the kiss?

I.. I'm not lame!

Yeah, whatever. Bet you haven't been laid in years.

kiss my sack!

You don't wait long to get back on the wagon, do you?

How the hell did you get in here?

The window was open.

I'm calling the cops.

I've decided to give you one last chance...

To join me!

Your legs...

Lying about secret weapon contracts is one thing...

Pretending to be in a wheelchair is just desp...

I am offering you one last chance to be my QUEEN!

Forget it! Get out of here, you freak!

Alright...

But first there's something I'd like to show you.

How the hell did you get that!

I'm calling the police.

They cannot help you.

No!... No!... NO!... NO!

Hey, what's going on in here?

Miss Hunter, you ok?

I'm fine! He was just leaving!

Good day

Sorry for interrupting, it sounded like something was going on in here.

No, everything's fine now thank you.

Can you please make sure that that gentleman finds his way out of the building completely.

Will do.

Hey! You!

Sir, I'm gonna hafta ask you to leave the building.

I don't know what the problem is!? I was just trying to show her something.

I don't think she'll wanna see anything you've gotta show her.

Well then perhaps, you'd like to see.

Hey, good morning boys.

April! What are doing here?

Good morning lady. I'm making blintza

Yeah, you wanna stay for breakfast?

Sure.

And this morning my superintendent was unconscious in the hallway.

It's strange, Konstantin is walking now too.

So, your saying that Konstantin has one of our traps?

That's what it looked like, yes.

If Konstantin has one of our traps he may be able to figure out how to use...

Wait wait wait. Ya know, I heard that if you look into that thing while it's closing it can make you impotent.

What, like you can't go when you need to?

That's incontinence.

I think you get that too.

- Is that true? - Ask Ed.

Ed, are you impotent?

Dr. Stantz's theory is that the eyes are a window into the soul.

Therefore if a living person were to look into the trap, as it was closing,...

It could steal their life essence, rendering that person...

What! A flesh craving zombie Ed?

In a comatose state.

Pavel?

What!?

Do you think that Konstantin would ever intentionally steal a person's soul?

Wait a minute, why the hell would he know?

I think he would do anything to unlock his amulet.

I knew it!

I knew you knew more than than you wanted me to know you knew.

What do you know?

Pavel is a former student of Konstantin's

What the hell is going on here Pavel?

Are you working for him?

So what, Ed gets to know about your past, and you keep it a secret from me?

I didn't think it was big deal.

Big deal!? This guy's stealing souls, for Christ's sake.

And as far as I'm concerned, you're an accomplice.

And you! You son of a bitch, you coulda clued me in on this.

- Please, calm down. - No! This is bullshit!

I take enough of Ed's crap, i don't need it from you too.

Neil, there are more important things going on here than you and your ego.

Ego!... you think I have an ego.

Why don't we ask her, do I have an ego?

Well... a... it's... just

Oh that's just great! I guess I'll take me and my ego and get outa here.

You can help them stop Konstantin.

Great... I've ruined everything. Ed, I'm sorry.

No it's not you fault.

Along with the city revoking our business, now, I've driven Neil away.

Did the bureaucrats take all of your equipment?

Well, we still have the neutrino pack and a couple of traps...

And I'm very thankful that for now they haven't touched the containment unit.

Face it Ed, Ghostbusters are finished.

Oh my...

What's happening? He must've opened a portal.

Oh! You're big! You're big! Yeah, alright! Destroy me! Yeah, yeah, destroy me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, give it!

So let me get this straight.

Some madman, with the powers of the underworld has summoned...

Some thing!

That's gonna devour every soul on the planet.

Ammit, the eater of the dead, your honor.

The powers of Anubis.

Forget it! I don't care!

But this... this is not gonna happen in Denver.

This doesn't really happen anywhere, mayor.

And soon it could be everywhere.

Like Starbucks.

Can you stop it?

Possibly

First we need to evacuate this area of the city.

The psycho kinetic readings for these coordinates are off the charts. If we could isolate the threat here...

Done, what else do you need.

Well if it's not too much trouble we'd like our uh... equipment back.

Hello.

Hi.

Why are you sitting there like that?

Look kid, if it's all the same to you, I'd really just prefer not to be bothered right now. Ok?

Allison come on, we're leaving!

Sounds like your mom's calling you anyway, you don't wanna get in trouble.

What's wrong?

I...

I had a fight with some friends, is all.

My father says that fighting builds character.

My parents have a lot of character.

Teh

Maybe they should quit.

Allison!

Well, I havta go. We're leaving the city.

Leaving the city? Why?

Havn't you been paying attention?

Aren't you a Ghostbuster?

Are you going to save us?

You know we're going too, right?

It's much too dangerous.

Well, if you fail the world's going to end anyway.

She's got a point. Alright, let's rock this kasbah

Uh, sir.

Camera 17 is sending us a feed.

It's April

What's she got?

Broadcast that! Interrupt all feeds. Get New York and L.A. On the lines.

Some sort of ghost tornado, erupting from downtown Denver, a “soul-nado” if you will.

Denver at this point has been evacuated, the mayor has sent out another warning...

What!

Denver could be facing Armageddon first hand.

It would seem that the Denver Ghostbusters are the world's only hope at this point as the “soul-nado”...

Nafu shem seti Ammit

Aiki rockto nayga

Ammit shahmsay

Nafu shem seti Ammit

I thought you guys were out of business.

We're here by order of the mayor.

The system is so screwed up these days.

Isn't sort of of cliché that every time that there's a “disaster” you get to meet the mayor?

Klause, you must stop this! This is madness! You don't know what you're doing!

I am a god! And I know exactly what I'm doing.

Ask Pavel.

- Cleansing the earth of evil huh? - Precisely!

You were a better man before, this power has corrupted you.

A better man? A CRIPPLE IN A WHEELCHAIR!

I was never a better man! No!

Being a man is nothing compared to being a god.

And I plan to release this planet from the wickedness of man.

Not everyone is WICKED!

Well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs now can you.

These aren't eggs we're talking about. These are people's souls!

I'll do what it takes to stop you.

Show me your best Ghostbuster.

HAHAHaHahahahahaHA!

Is that all you've got?

Here, let me try.

Ammit nechfnissy city Ammit Meri ey!

Nufair shadam cham sity..

Meri ey!

ha ha ha ha ha ha

They are still in the building and there...

There's a... giant... ghost... dragon thing flying over Denver!

GHOST DRAGON THING!

Holy SHIT!

...giant monster that looks like the ghost of... FALKOR is terrorizing downtown Den...

Ed, You take care of that, I'll stay here.

Pavel...

Ed, I could've taken care of this a long time ago.

This time, he's not gonna get away.

Be careful!

You too.

Lavar?

What are you doing here?

I'm here to put a stop to all this nonsense.

Oh good, we could really use your help right now.

n... I'm here to stop you. What you do is wrong.

I'm placing you under citizens arrest.

Levar, we're trying to save the world here, can't we set aside our differences?

OK, setting aside all of our differences...

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!

I've never seen a ghost that big before.

But you can stop it though, can't you?

I... thought you didn't want us meddling in the affairs of the afterlife.

I.. t-take it back.

I'm glad you've come to your senses Pavel. I could use you.

As we destroy the world, I'll need an assistant.

I don't think so.

You'll be worshiped as a god. money, power, it will all be yours!

What good is money and power when you have no one to share it with.

Well I don't plan to destroy “every” human.

But, those that except me as their god, will be spared.

Join me Pavel.

The proton cannon seems to have no effect on the beast.

Can you go any faster?

Hell yeah!

This is a big ass dragon.

What it is that thing?

I have an idea.

What?

AN IDEA!

No I heard you. What's your idea?

Well we'll... We'll herd it. Like... like cattle.

What will it be Pavel?

You already know my answer.

Your death shall be swift.

ahnas san seda...

WHOOOAA!

...in pursuit.

Ye Haw!

Oooh!

Well that does it for stupid snake...

Face!

You came, You saw,...

You kicked it's Aaasssss!

NICE!

YES! Nice going guys!

Ed!

I failed!

I couldn't stop him.

Let's try this.

Alright, closing trap.

What!

No, this can't be!?

NO! Those souls are MINE!

MINE!

Ha! It's too late!

The portal cannot be stopped!

Blastage!

Now Lavar!

Here goes nothing.

Go full stream

It's hopeless!

Bad dog! No Biscuit

Don't let him get into the portal!

There's enough energy in that alternate dimension to fuel his amulet.

If he gains enough power, he'll be able to keep it open permanently.

eh no. This never ends, so what do we do?

Ed!

Let me think a second!

Ed, there's something wrong with this thing!

Oh No! The pack's gone critical, it's overloading!

What the hell does that mean?

The sub-atomic housing is overheated. The matter is beginning to collapse into the antimatter.

That's BAD, right?!

For THIS dimension.

yes

Yes!

YES!

Unlimited Power!

Unlimited Power!

YES!

Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!

Dy-no-mite!

oh... Oh, this better be on YouTube tomorrow!

It looks like the world will keep it's souls after all.

atta girl! Oh she's goood!

I knew you'd be back Neil.

well...

I guess I couldn't let you steal my limelight, could I!

ahh..

Oh! God! yeah

Hug, precisely what I was thinking. alright

Hell no!

no

Good work Lavar!

Thanks, Ed. You know, I was wrong about you.

Pavel, I'm really glad you're one of the good guys.

Hey man! What do you think happened to Konstantin?

Well...

He's Toast!

There is still no sign of the Ghostbusters who hours ago entered the strange building.

and we have still not... Here they come now.

What was it like in there?

Well I gotta tell ya... that... was a close one!

uh, The threat has been eliminated. all we havta do is return these souls to their rightful owners.

I'm gonna do a special on my show of how Lavar Gorden almost died... twice.

I think I will go to Disneyland. Hi Mother.

Were there any human casualties?

uh, the cripple.

Nobody cares about him.

Ya know, What's important is that we get these souls back to their rightful owners.

and Ed here, is gonna describe the device that's gonna do, just that.

oh um...

yeah I created a device that uh captures psycho kinetic energy and polarizes it so that uh...

you can use the electromagnetic aura that is a residual, um, result tu...

I'm just bullshitting... can you edit this out later?

Ed, we're live.

uh um, as I was saying psycho kinet...

What are your feelings now that you've come out OK?

You know what, that's... that's... that's enough OK.

There's no feelings... and there's no more pictures.

We're going home, we're tired. Guys we're outa here.

I will call you... maybe...

Thought we were getting to be their friends.

And the day is once again saved by the Ghostbusters.

I'm April Hunter from Channel 8 News, reminding you...

Don't be afraid of no ghosts!

Clean up crews will be working around the clock, cleaning up the rubble from last night's epic battle.

Turns out that the Ghostbusters were ALWAYS on our side...

as I pointed out months ago... or weeks...

Depending on what type of calendar you use.

Welcome back to “Science of the Universe”. I'm Ed Spengler.

And I'm Lavar Gordon.

Now today is our Ghostbusters Special.

That's right! we're going to be taking a look at the technology that saved the world.

Ghostbusters!

If there's something strange... in your neighborhood...

Who ya gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

If there's something weird... and it don't look good...

Who ya gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

I ain't fraid a no ghost!

I ain't fraid a no ghost!

If you're seeing things... running through your head...

Who can ya call?

Ghostbusters!

An invisible man... sleeping in your bed...

Oh! Who ya gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

I ain't fraid a no ghost!

I ain't fraid a no ghost!

Who ya gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

If you're all alone... pick up the phone...

and call...

Ghostbusters!

I ain't fraid a no ghost!

I hear it likes the girls.

I ain't fraid a no ghost!

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

Who ya gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

Mm... if you've had a dose... Of a freaky ghost baby...

You better call...

Ghostbusters!

let me tell ya something...

Bustin' makes me feel good!

I ain't fraid a no ghost!

I ain't fraid a no ghost!

Don't get caught alone oh no...

Ghostbusters!

When it comes through your door... Unless you just want some more...

I think you better call...

Ghostbusters!