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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:08,722 --> 00:01:10,349 Excuse us. 2 00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:13,382 Jeez, get a room or something. 3 00:01:13,427 --> 00:01:15,361 All right! 4 00:01:15,395 --> 00:01:17,863 They're getting charged for those. 5 00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:19,991 Those books aren't cheap, either. 6 00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:22,365 What are you looking at? 7 00:01:25,873 --> 00:01:27,864 Hey, Gerry, isn't that your bus? 8 00:01:27,908 --> 00:01:29,637 Great way to start the summer. 9 00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:33,510 Wait! Stop the bus! Stop! 10 00:01:33,547 --> 00:01:36,880 Ha ha ha! Go, fat boy, go! 11 00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:40,717 # Everybody wants to live, and they want to live # 12 00:01:40,754 --> 00:01:45,555 # And everybody wants to love, and they want to love # 13 00:01:45,592 --> 00:01:49,255 # Everybody wants to be # 14 00:01:49,296 --> 00:01:52,891 # Closer to free # 15 00:01:52,933 --> 00:01:55,561 # Yeah, and yeah, yeah # 16 00:01:55,602 --> 00:01:57,900 # Everybody wants respect # 17 00:01:57,938 --> 00:01:59,405 Foul ball! Strike two! 18 00:01:59,439 --> 00:02:01,168 Little help here, son. 19 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,335 Come on. Toss it over. 20 00:02:03,377 --> 00:02:05,140 # Once in a while # 21 00:02:05,178 --> 00:02:06,543 Unh! 22 00:02:08,615 --> 00:02:10,708 Give it another try, son. 23 00:02:10,751 --> 00:02:12,218 Right here! 24 00:02:14,121 --> 00:02:16,555 Over the fence, son! 25 00:02:18,559 --> 00:02:21,221 Here! 26 00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:22,819 Unh! 27 00:02:31,204 --> 00:02:34,605 # Everybody one, everybody two # 28 00:02:34,641 --> 00:02:38,577 # Everybody three # 29 00:02:38,612 --> 00:02:42,878 # Everybody needs to touch, you know, now and then # 30 00:02:42,916 --> 00:02:47,876 # And everybody wants a good, good friend # 31 00:02:47,921 --> 00:02:51,755 # Everybody wants to be closer to free # 32 00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,919 Lemonade, lemonade. 33 00:02:59,766 --> 00:03:01,131 # Everybody wants to live # 34 00:03:01,168 --> 00:03:02,829 # And they want to live # 35 00:03:04,871 --> 00:03:07,169 Mom! 36 00:03:07,207 --> 00:03:11,371 # Everybody wants to be # 37 00:03:11,411 --> 00:03:14,403 # Closer to free # 38 00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:23,020 Hello? 39 00:03:23,056 --> 00:03:24,523 We're in here, honey. 40 00:03:24,558 --> 00:03:25,889 Come on, son. 41 00:03:27,694 --> 00:03:29,594 Why is everybody home? 42 00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:31,723 Did someone die? 43 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,390 Who's this? 44 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:40,296 Hi, Gerry. Roger Johnson. 45 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,365 Islanders fan, huh? 46 00:03:42,409 --> 00:03:44,536 Team of the future, I say. 47 00:03:44,578 --> 00:03:47,547 Yeah. Whatever, I'm out of here. 48 00:03:47,581 --> 00:03:49,549 Hold those horses, cowboy. 49 00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:51,210 Mr. Johnson is your guest... 50 00:03:51,251 --> 00:03:55,711 and he's here to talk to you about a special summer camp. 51 00:03:55,756 --> 00:03:58,316 A camp designed just for you, Gerry. 52 00:03:58,358 --> 00:04:00,223 Summer camp? No way! 53 00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:02,854 I have plans for the summer. I'm gonna hang out! 54 00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:05,558 Come on, honey. He's got a videotape. 55 00:04:05,599 --> 00:04:07,328 Why don't we take a little peek? 56 00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:09,232 Why don't we not? 57 00:04:13,706 --> 00:04:16,266 Greetings, future campers. 58 00:04:16,309 --> 00:04:20,370 I'm Alice Bushkin, and this is Harvey... 59 00:04:20,413 --> 00:04:22,847 and we've been the owners and operators... 60 00:04:22,882 --> 00:04:26,943 of Camp Hope for 32 wonderful summers. 61 00:04:26,986 --> 00:04:30,319 Won't you join us for number 33? 62 00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:39,655 Whoa! 63 00:04:39,699 --> 00:04:41,030 Hmm. 64 00:04:42,902 --> 00:04:44,961 What's that? 65 00:04:45,004 --> 00:04:46,835 This is called "the Blob." 66 00:04:46,873 --> 00:04:48,602 "The Blob," huh? 67 00:04:48,641 --> 00:04:52,042 You can go as high as 15 feet. 68 00:04:52,078 --> 00:04:53,705 Wow. 69 00:04:58,651 --> 00:05:00,949 Wow, go-karts. 70 00:05:00,987 --> 00:05:02,716 How many times can you go on the go-karts? 71 00:05:02,755 --> 00:05:04,655 As much as you want, Gerry. 72 00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:07,955 But be careful. They can be addicting. 73 00:05:10,363 --> 00:05:11,853 I'm only kidding. 74 00:05:11,898 --> 00:05:13,991 Hi, I'm Pat Finley! 75 00:05:14,033 --> 00:05:16,001 I've been coming here since I was 10 years old. 76 00:05:16,035 --> 00:05:17,332 Want to know why? 77 00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:19,838 Because Camp Hope is the fun way to lose weight. 78 00:05:19,872 --> 00:05:21,840 It's a fat camp! 79 00:05:21,874 --> 00:05:25,310 Are you crazy? No way! 80 00:05:25,344 --> 00:05:28,541 I'm not going to a camp with a bunch of fat-loads! 81 00:05:28,581 --> 00:05:31,550 - Gerry! - That's not kind, Gerry. 82 00:05:31,584 --> 00:05:33,552 We are doing this for your own good. 83 00:05:33,586 --> 00:05:35,417 We gotta nip this thing in the bud. 84 00:05:35,454 --> 00:05:40,050 I'm fine. This is a joke, right? 85 00:05:40,092 --> 00:05:42,151 You're fatter than I am. Why don't you go? 86 00:05:42,195 --> 00:05:45,130 You show your father some respect. 87 00:05:45,164 --> 00:05:47,530 I think we should have a little powwow... 88 00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:51,731 and we will call you with our decision later. 89 00:05:51,771 --> 00:05:54,296 I'll give you my decision right now. 90 00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:56,001 I'm not going. 91 00:06:01,247 --> 00:06:03,306 This is Captain Harris speaking... 92 00:06:05,418 --> 00:06:07,818 ...cruising altitude of 29,000 feet. 93 00:06:07,854 --> 00:06:10,118 Those of you on the left side of the aircraft... 94 00:06:10,156 --> 00:06:12,147 have a nice view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. 95 00:06:12,191 --> 00:06:14,216 Hey, there, Mr. Rainy Day. 96 00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,558 I've got a little surprise for you. 97 00:06:16,596 --> 00:06:18,461 Hmm? 98 00:06:18,497 --> 00:06:19,794 Huh? 99 00:06:19,832 --> 00:06:21,231 ...but in your seats... 100 00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:23,827 we request that you keep your seat belts fastened. 101 00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:25,701 Cutie. 102 00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:28,138 Great. 103 00:06:33,646 --> 00:06:36,342 Headed to fat camp? 104 00:06:36,382 --> 00:06:39,317 No. Why do you say that? 105 00:06:39,352 --> 00:06:42,321 Because you're fat. Is that your dad? 106 00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:46,223 No. Why do you say that? 107 00:06:46,259 --> 00:06:49,319 Because he's fat, too. 108 00:06:49,362 --> 00:06:51,023 Well, so are you. 109 00:06:51,063 --> 00:06:52,860 I know. That's why I'm going to fat camp. 110 00:06:52,899 --> 00:06:55,766 - I'm Roy. - I'm Gerry. 111 00:06:57,069 --> 00:06:58,832 I guess I'm going. 112 00:06:58,871 --> 00:07:00,031 I knew it! 113 00:07:00,072 --> 00:07:01,630 And that's your dad, too, isn't it? 114 00:07:01,674 --> 00:07:04,302 - Hell no! - You'll love camp, man. 115 00:07:04,343 --> 00:07:05,503 Camp is awesome. 116 00:07:05,544 --> 00:07:08,479 No one picks on you because you're not the fat kid. 117 00:07:08,514 --> 00:07:10,948 Everybody's the fat kid. 118 00:07:10,983 --> 00:07:14,248 Stick with me, Gerry, because I'm the man. 119 00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:19,815 Mr. Bushkin tells the scariest ghost stories you ever heard. 120 00:07:21,193 --> 00:07:23,821 Yes, have no fear, I have returned. 121 00:07:23,863 --> 00:07:25,990 I got a rookie here, and his name's Gerry... 122 00:07:26,032 --> 00:07:28,023 so show him the same amount of respect... 123 00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:30,592 that you show me--none. 124 00:07:42,882 --> 00:07:44,179 Excuse me! 125 00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:46,184 I'm looking for several portly adolescents. 126 00:07:46,218 --> 00:07:48,311 That's us. You're looking good, Pat. 127 00:07:48,354 --> 00:07:50,845 Tell me something I don't know. 128 00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:53,324 Let's load her up! 129 00:07:53,359 --> 00:07:55,452 Hey, hey! How you doing, guys? 130 00:07:55,494 --> 00:07:58,190 - Phillip, how are you? - This is Gerry. 131 00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:00,027 Hey, Gerry. I'm Pat Finley. 132 00:08:00,066 --> 00:08:01,795 I'm sure you recognize me from my work... 133 00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,632 in the Camp Hope promotional video. 134 00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:06,331 We have a little tradition, Gerry. 135 00:08:06,372 --> 00:08:08,306 The new guy drives to camp. Right, guys? 136 00:08:08,341 --> 00:08:11,367 Keep it under 70. We got some weird local cops. 137 00:08:11,410 --> 00:08:12,843 You drive a stick, right? 138 00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:14,846 No, but I can try. 139 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,814 No, no, no. Sorry, cannot risk it. 140 00:08:16,849 --> 00:08:19,818 Come here a second. I gotta ask you something. 141 00:08:19,852 --> 00:08:21,683 Something very serious. 142 00:08:23,022 --> 00:08:26,150 Are you ready for the best damn summer of your life? 143 00:08:26,192 --> 00:08:28,092 Yeah! 144 00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:30,322 Is everybody gonna behave themselves this summer? 145 00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:33,594 - No! - Good! That's what I expect! 146 00:08:33,632 --> 00:08:37,329 Can't do it. Gotta get back to the camp! 147 00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:39,497 - Pull over, please! - Don't bug me! 148 00:08:39,538 --> 00:08:42,371 - All right! - Yeah! 149 00:08:42,408 --> 00:08:44,672 Ha ha! Psyched you out! 150 00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:47,042 - You stink, Pat! - That's not funny! 151 00:08:47,079 --> 00:08:49,070 I thought that was pretty amusing, myself. 152 00:08:50,549 --> 00:08:52,346 Garner, where you from? 153 00:08:52,385 --> 00:08:55,411 - Long Island. - Never heard of it. 154 00:08:59,892 --> 00:09:02,622 Sam, don't lean your head out the window. 155 00:09:02,661 --> 00:09:04,629 We lost six kids like that last summer. 156 00:09:04,663 --> 00:09:06,460 I'm not going to pick up your head. 157 00:09:06,499 --> 00:09:08,467 I don't need it anyway! 158 00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:12,801 Camp Hope, everybody! Best place on earth! 159 00:09:15,341 --> 00:09:18,708 Camp Hope! Camp Hope! Camp Hope! 160 00:09:18,744 --> 00:09:21,372 Camp Hope! Camp Hope! Camp Hope! 161 00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:41,092 Mm-hmm. 162 00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:45,297 All right, now in a nice, orderly fashion... 163 00:09:45,337 --> 00:09:46,634 get off my bus! 164 00:09:48,307 --> 00:09:49,604 It's stuck! 165 00:09:49,642 --> 00:09:52,338 I don't know what to do! It's stuck! 166 00:10:01,153 --> 00:10:03,849 - Heads up! - Unh! 167 00:10:03,889 --> 00:10:05,447 Here's another one! 168 00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:06,788 Hey, bony butt. 169 00:10:06,825 --> 00:10:08,850 How was your year, chicken legs? 170 00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:10,486 It's not funny, guys. 171 00:10:10,529 --> 00:10:11,928 Why are they teasing him? 172 00:10:11,964 --> 00:10:13,795 That's a counselor named Tim. 173 00:10:13,832 --> 00:10:15,959 He used to be one of us, but then he lost weight... 174 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,628 so we give him a hard time about it. 175 00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:20,195 - He's cool, though. - Let's hear it. 176 00:10:20,239 --> 00:10:22,969 Tim, what happened, did you have a baby? 177 00:10:23,008 --> 00:10:25,499 That's funny. 178 00:10:25,544 --> 00:10:28,741 Just because I got these great, skinny buns of steel. 179 00:10:28,781 --> 00:10:30,373 Whoo! Look at that-- all tight and toned. 180 00:10:30,416 --> 00:10:32,043 Bet you wish they were yours. 181 00:10:32,084 --> 00:10:33,881 Don't you? Take a look, boys! 182 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,716 The envy of the entire camp-- 183 00:10:35,754 --> 00:10:39,918 Up there is the bald eagle, which is a single breed... 184 00:10:42,928 --> 00:10:45,226 - Hi. - Hi. 185 00:10:45,264 --> 00:10:47,858 I'm Julie, the new nurse. 186 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:50,232 Pat. 187 00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:52,134 Pat, I'm a little lost. 188 00:10:52,171 --> 00:10:55,038 Can you tell me where the infirmary is? 189 00:10:59,678 --> 00:11:01,646 Well, let's see... 190 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:05,411 Uh...No. 191 00:11:05,451 --> 00:11:09,979 Oh, well...I'll find it. 192 00:11:10,022 --> 00:11:11,421 Nice to meet you. 193 00:11:17,162 --> 00:11:19,653 Pat, you've been coming here since you were ten... 194 00:11:19,698 --> 00:11:22,360 and you don't know where the infirmary is? 195 00:11:22,401 --> 00:11:24,892 I panicked. 196 00:11:24,937 --> 00:11:27,030 What are we gonna do with you, man? 197 00:11:27,072 --> 00:11:29,199 Help me with these bags, all right? 198 00:11:29,241 --> 00:11:30,708 - Garner. - Yeah? 199 00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:32,370 Let's get working on this trunk. 200 00:11:32,411 --> 00:11:33,708 OK. 201 00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:36,214 - You got a girlfriend? - Oh, no. 202 00:11:36,248 --> 00:11:39,046 So you broke up with her before the summer... 203 00:11:39,084 --> 00:11:40,881 so you could be free to play the field, huh? 204 00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:43,547 Yeah, you gotta play the field. 205 00:11:43,589 --> 00:11:46,387 Yeah, I break up with my girlfriend every summer. 206 00:11:46,425 --> 00:11:47,858 You gotta be free, you know? 207 00:11:47,893 --> 00:11:49,383 All right, put it down. 208 00:11:49,428 --> 00:11:50,986 This is it, Gerry. 209 00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:53,692 I've been the counselor in here for 10 years. 210 00:11:53,732 --> 00:11:55,063 I hope you're ready. 211 00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,898 You'll be hanging with some pretty cool cats. 212 00:12:00,439 --> 00:12:01,804 Josh, how you doing, man? 213 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,171 Roy. 214 00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:07,702 I just saw the new nurse, and she's very attractive. 215 00:12:09,214 --> 00:12:10,545 This pleases me. 216 00:12:12,217 --> 00:12:14,082 Here it is! 217 00:12:14,119 --> 00:12:18,112 Ah, Chez Chipmunk-- my summer home. 218 00:12:18,157 --> 00:12:19,624 What do we got here? 219 00:12:19,658 --> 00:12:23,560 Gerry, this is Josh, camp legend. 220 00:12:23,595 --> 00:12:25,620 Aye-aye, Captain, sir. 221 00:12:25,664 --> 00:12:27,427 All present and accounted for, Captain, sir. 222 00:12:27,466 --> 00:12:29,957 What's the matter? You're not a captain? 223 00:12:30,002 --> 00:12:31,526 No. 224 00:12:31,570 --> 00:12:33,504 Then maybe you should lose the wings. 225 00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:37,475 Welcome to the Chipmunk bunk, Captain-- 226 00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:39,443 the best bunk in the entire camp. 227 00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:40,877 Yep! Sure is. 228 00:12:40,913 --> 00:12:44,280 You guys aren't gonna call me Captain all summer, are you? 229 00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:46,079 Yes, sir, Captain! 230 00:12:46,118 --> 00:12:48,018 Captain, looks like you're all set here. 231 00:12:48,053 --> 00:12:49,486 I gotta take care of some other stuff. 232 00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,352 You're the best, Pat. 233 00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,153 All right, take it easy. 234 00:12:53,192 --> 00:12:56,389 All right, Gerry, over here is your brand-new bunk. 235 00:12:56,428 --> 00:12:57,895 Don't tell anybody... 236 00:12:57,930 --> 00:13:02,833 but I snuck in some Oreos for emergencies. 237 00:13:02,868 --> 00:13:05,336 That was very sneaky of you. 238 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:09,136 Chipmunks! Download, now! 239 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,318 New kid! Yo! 240 00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:25,653 Come on over here! 241 00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:28,854 Get these salamis off my back. They really hurt. 242 00:13:33,732 --> 00:13:35,859 Phillip, look at this. 243 00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:37,528 That's pretty nice, Nicholas... 244 00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:40,561 but look at this. 245 00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:43,271 Yes! 246 00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:54,049 Crikey! 247 00:13:54,086 --> 00:13:56,850 I knew it was too hot in that bus. 248 00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:02,821 This is definitely not sanitary. 249 00:14:02,861 --> 00:14:05,921 Everyone! Grab a taste of England, guys! 250 00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,314 You'll love the Bushkins. 251 00:15:02,353 --> 00:15:03,820 Every year they surprise us... 252 00:15:03,855 --> 00:15:05,322 with something cool for the camp. 253 00:15:05,356 --> 00:15:06,823 Last year they got us the Blob... 254 00:15:06,858 --> 00:15:09,554 and this year I hear they're getting us jet skis. 255 00:15:09,594 --> 00:15:12,358 - Jet skis! - Here they come. 256 00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:19,332 - You'll love these people. - Really? 257 00:15:23,374 --> 00:15:25,342 Greetings, campers. 258 00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:29,540 Hi! Hi! Hiya! 259 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,844 You'll get it. 260 00:15:31,883 --> 00:15:35,341 That's the greatest sound I've heard in a long time. 261 00:15:35,386 --> 00:15:40,517 Harvey and I are saddened and dismayed to announce... 262 00:15:40,558 --> 00:15:44,358 that we are no longer the owners of Camp Hope. 263 00:15:44,395 --> 00:15:46,420 - What? - What's going on? 264 00:15:46,464 --> 00:15:47,863 What are you talking about? 265 00:15:47,899 --> 00:15:50,265 Sometimes in life... 266 00:15:50,301 --> 00:15:53,828 things don't work out the way you planned... 267 00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:57,363 and in those situations, sometimes... 268 00:15:57,408 --> 00:16:01,504 you file Chapter 9 bankruptcy--Jesus! 269 00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:05,915 We worked our whole life, and what do we have to show? 270 00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:08,817 Nothing! Nothing! 271 00:16:08,853 --> 00:16:10,548 Harvey, please stop. 272 00:16:10,588 --> 00:16:12,385 What? 273 00:16:12,423 --> 00:16:17,793 OK, kids, out with the old, and in with the new. 274 00:16:17,828 --> 00:16:21,059 It won't be the same without them. 275 00:16:21,098 --> 00:16:24,898 Your new owner will introduce himself in a minute. 276 00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:27,268 But you know what I would like? 277 00:16:27,305 --> 00:16:31,071 Please, could you give us just one more... 278 00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:36,205 Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"? 279 00:16:36,247 --> 00:16:38,977 Hiya. 280 00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:42,042 God bless all of you. 281 00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:49,423 We love you, Harvey! 282 00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:51,860 He's kidding, guys. He's gotta be. 283 00:16:51,896 --> 00:16:53,955 One word of advice. 284 00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:57,490 Never let anyone sign your checks! 285 00:16:57,535 --> 00:16:58,934 Harvey, please. 286 00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:01,939 You can't leave. We need you. 287 00:17:01,973 --> 00:17:04,567 Come back. 288 00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:06,975 - What are we gonna do? - I don't know, man. 289 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,996 Now, it's time to meet your new owner and operator. 290 00:17:26,030 --> 00:17:28,726 Tony Perkis is a man who believes in you. 291 00:17:28,766 --> 00:17:31,234 His life is dedicated to saying things like... 292 00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:33,396 "Yes!" and "You better believe it!" 293 00:17:33,437 --> 00:17:36,804 Entrepreneur, a motivator, and a new friend... 294 00:17:36,841 --> 00:17:41,039 may I introduce Tony Perkis! 295 00:17:44,882 --> 00:17:48,340 Mm. Can you smell it? 296 00:17:48,386 --> 00:17:49,648 What? No. 297 00:17:49,687 --> 00:17:52,815 There's a life force in here tonight. 298 00:17:52,857 --> 00:17:55,121 Do you feel it? Hmm? 299 00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:58,219 I look around this room... 300 00:17:58,262 --> 00:18:01,698 and I see potential. 301 00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:07,737 I see the future chairman of a Fortune 500 company. 302 00:18:07,772 --> 00:18:09,433 I see a famous rap artist. 303 00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:17,110 I see the president of the United States of America. 304 00:18:17,148 --> 00:18:19,082 He's from England. 305 00:18:19,116 --> 00:18:21,084 Being an only child... 306 00:18:21,118 --> 00:18:24,087 educated entirely by private tutors my whole life... 307 00:18:24,121 --> 00:18:25,884 I'm looking forward to interacting... 308 00:18:25,923 --> 00:18:27,686 with children for the first time. 309 00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:29,556 I'm going to teach you... 310 00:18:29,593 --> 00:18:32,426 and I bet you might teach me a little something, also. 311 00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:36,162 Now, those of you from western Pennsylvania... 312 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,691 probably know my father, Tony Perkis Senior... 313 00:18:38,736 --> 00:18:40,499 the Lighting Fixture King. 314 00:18:40,538 --> 00:18:42,472 All the lights you'll see around this camp... 315 00:18:42,506 --> 00:18:44,440 have been donated by him. 316 00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:52,349 But I'm gonna do old Dad one better. 317 00:18:52,383 --> 00:18:54,908 I'm not gonna give you a light. 318 00:18:54,952 --> 00:18:57,921 I'm gonna show you the light! 319 00:18:57,955 --> 00:18:59,889 And to help me do it... 320 00:18:59,924 --> 00:19:02,154 let's meet the new staff of Camp Hope. 321 00:19:02,193 --> 00:19:04,423 Team Perkis! 322 00:19:04,462 --> 00:19:07,795 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 323 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,626 Ha! Ha! Ha! 324 00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,865 All right! Stand proud, boys! 325 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:17,965 Hey, who wants to be on TV, huh? 326 00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:19,737 That's Kenny the cameraman. 327 00:19:19,777 --> 00:19:21,301 Hey, there, Kenny! 328 00:19:21,345 --> 00:19:23,245 If all goes according to plan... 329 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,475 we're gonna turn this summer into the number-one... 330 00:19:25,516 --> 00:19:27,814 weight-loss infomercial in the country! 331 00:19:27,852 --> 00:19:29,149 You're kidding. 332 00:19:29,186 --> 00:19:31,381 Kids, at age 12... 333 00:19:31,422 --> 00:19:34,823 I weighed 319 pounds. 334 00:19:34,859 --> 00:19:38,590 I had bad skin, low self-esteem... 335 00:19:38,629 --> 00:19:40,893 and no self-respect. 336 00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:46,062 Now...I eat success for breakfast! 337 00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:49,163 - With skim milk. - Ugh. 338 00:19:49,206 --> 00:19:50,673 Pounds are gonna fly... 339 00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:54,838 and fat is outta here, mister! 340 00:19:54,879 --> 00:19:57,746 And we are gonna do it together! 341 00:19:57,782 --> 00:19:59,716 Oh, my God. 342 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:02,810 Ha! Haaa... 343 00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,445 Aah! 344 00:20:06,424 --> 00:20:08,415 I want to go home! 345 00:20:12,897 --> 00:20:15,661 The Bushkins always put me in the Chipmunk bunk. 346 00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:17,132 I've been here for 10 years. 347 00:20:17,168 --> 00:20:18,635 According to my information... 348 00:20:18,669 --> 00:20:20,466 you have been reassigned to the big house. 349 00:20:20,504 --> 00:20:22,734 I don't think Tony would mind if we switched back. 350 00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:26,470 That would make me feel very uncomfortable. 351 00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:28,774 I'm gonna talk to Tony. 352 00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:32,908 Please do. Let me get your bag. 353 00:20:36,787 --> 00:20:38,118 Unh! 354 00:20:43,427 --> 00:20:45,156 Good-bye now. 355 00:20:45,196 --> 00:20:47,664 Enjoy your summer. 356 00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:52,396 Hello! 357 00:20:52,436 --> 00:20:55,098 I am your new friend and counselor! 358 00:20:55,139 --> 00:20:59,098 Please enjoy your new Perkis system uniforms. 359 00:20:59,143 --> 00:21:01,668 Your families will be billed automatically. 360 00:21:01,712 --> 00:21:03,839 Now, let's play the fun game... 361 00:21:03,881 --> 00:21:05,974 that helps us learn each other's names. 362 00:21:06,016 --> 00:21:07,813 We already know each other's names. 363 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:09,614 Silence! 364 00:21:11,989 --> 00:21:15,823 You--please announce everyone's name. 365 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:20,159 OK. That's Roy. That's Josh. 366 00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:23,166 Sam. That's Cody. That's Nicholas. 367 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,792 That's Michael. That's Phil. 368 00:21:24,835 --> 00:21:27,463 And I am Lars. 369 00:21:27,504 --> 00:21:30,940 "Lars"? What kind of name is that? 370 00:21:30,975 --> 00:21:32,602 Where are you from? 371 00:21:36,914 --> 00:21:38,381 Far away. 372 00:21:39,617 --> 00:21:45,283 I must inform you I have a severely deviated septum. 373 00:21:45,322 --> 00:21:46,755 When I sleep at night... 374 00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:48,883 I make a very disturbing sound. 375 00:21:48,926 --> 00:21:51,224 Don't be alarmed. I am fine. 376 00:21:51,262 --> 00:21:54,197 Now, go to sleep. 377 00:22:14,985 --> 00:22:18,853 Oh, no. I'm dead. 378 00:22:18,889 --> 00:22:20,618 I'm in Heaven. 379 00:22:20,658 --> 00:22:22,853 Roy? Roy. 380 00:22:22,893 --> 00:22:24,690 What's going on? 381 00:22:24,728 --> 00:22:26,525 Wake up, campers. 382 00:22:26,563 --> 00:22:28,428 It's a glorious morning. 383 00:22:28,465 --> 00:22:30,524 Today is Evaluation Day. 384 00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:32,865 The key word here is "value." 385 00:22:32,903 --> 00:22:34,871 Do you have any? Not yet. 386 00:22:34,905 --> 00:22:36,372 But by the end of the summer... 387 00:22:36,407 --> 00:22:38,967 this camp will be filled with skinny winners! 388 00:22:39,009 --> 00:22:41,944 "Skinny weiners"? You hear that, guys? 389 00:22:41,979 --> 00:22:43,378 Do you think I'm crazy? 390 00:22:43,414 --> 00:22:45,882 I'm not crazy. I just believe in you. 391 00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:49,374 And I believe in you. Call and order now. 392 00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:53,151 All right, let's go get our hands dirty. 393 00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:54,657 # Ahh, freak out! # 394 00:22:54,692 --> 00:22:59,894 Glide! Stride! 395 00:22:59,930 --> 00:23:02,160 Get your butt off the ground! 396 00:23:02,199 --> 00:23:05,532 Concentrate! Find your center. 397 00:23:05,569 --> 00:23:06,763 # Freak out! # 398 00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:12,832 Stride! Glide! 399 00:23:12,876 --> 00:23:17,677 # Listen to us, I'm sure you'll be amazed # 400 00:23:17,715 --> 00:23:19,706 Stride! 401 00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:22,310 I'm feeling skinny, Tony. 402 00:23:22,353 --> 00:23:24,321 So am I! 403 00:23:24,355 --> 00:23:26,653 Aah! 404 00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:28,521 We keep this up, I see no reason... 405 00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:31,084 why we can't beat Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 406 00:23:31,128 --> 00:23:33,358 What's an Apache Relay? 407 00:23:33,397 --> 00:23:36,992 It's a dumb inter-camp event where those jocks at MVP... 408 00:23:37,034 --> 00:23:40,026 come over here and kick our butts every year. 409 00:23:40,070 --> 00:23:42,595 # Ahh, freak out! # 410 00:23:42,639 --> 00:23:45,870 Only film the ones that are standing, Kenneth. 411 00:23:45,909 --> 00:23:47,638 Glide! 412 00:23:50,981 --> 00:23:53,882 141 pounds, Gerry Garner. 413 00:23:53,917 --> 00:23:56,044 Weight-loss goal, 17 pounds. 414 00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:58,850 Please step down. Next! 415 00:24:00,824 --> 00:24:05,056 Very fat, I see. 160 pounds. 416 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,154 Weight-loss goal, 23 pounds. 417 00:24:08,799 --> 00:24:11,962 Ooh. Oh, my! 418 00:24:12,002 --> 00:24:14,300 Congratulations, Mr. Simms. 419 00:24:14,338 --> 00:24:16,499 You are the fattest boy in camp. 420 00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:19,338 All right, let's hear it for Simms. 421 00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:24,341 Get down! 422 00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:25,848 # Ahh, freak out! # 423 00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:28,647 # All that pressure got you down # 424 00:24:28,685 --> 00:24:30,277 Five and a quarter. 425 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,346 # Has your head spinning all around # 426 00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:35,051 # Feel the rhythm # 427 00:24:35,092 --> 00:24:37,617 # Chant the rhyme, come on along # 428 00:24:37,661 --> 00:24:38,855 Big smile. 429 00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:40,454 # And have a real good time # 430 00:24:40,497 --> 00:24:42,863 Turn around to your side. 431 00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:44,891 Please put your fat finger down! 432 00:24:44,935 --> 00:24:46,129 # Freak out! # 433 00:24:47,704 --> 00:24:49,365 # Ahh, freak out! # 434 00:24:49,406 --> 00:24:51,670 You've broken my camera! 435 00:24:51,708 --> 00:24:53,676 No, no, no, you listen to me. 436 00:24:53,710 --> 00:24:56,008 If I don't get a 50,000 unit pre-sale on this video... 437 00:24:56,046 --> 00:24:57,877 my ass is wheat grass! 438 00:24:57,915 --> 00:24:59,780 Just hang on a second. 439 00:24:59,817 --> 00:25:02,285 Attention campers, tonight's lecture is... 440 00:25:02,319 --> 00:25:05,914 "Liposuction: Option or Obsession." 441 00:25:05,956 --> 00:25:09,221 Watch out for Salami Sam! 442 00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:12,592 Whoa! 443 00:25:12,629 --> 00:25:15,120 Hey, don't pee in the water! 444 00:25:15,165 --> 00:25:18,157 Don't drink the water. He peed in it! 445 00:25:23,574 --> 00:25:26,873 - Nurse Julie! - Whoa! 446 00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:29,572 Excuse me, Nurse Julie. 447 00:25:29,613 --> 00:25:32,343 I'm having a problem with my sciatic nerve. 448 00:25:32,382 --> 00:25:35,977 Perhaps later you could give me a deep-tissue massage. 449 00:25:36,019 --> 00:25:38,146 I'll pencil you in. 450 00:25:38,188 --> 00:25:40,486 Lars, shouldn't you be watching the kids? 451 00:25:40,524 --> 00:25:43,152 Don't worry, I have them on the body system. 452 00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:44,490 "Body system"? 453 00:25:44,528 --> 00:25:46,359 Yeah, have a look. 454 00:25:48,599 --> 00:25:52,969 Body! 455 00:25:53,003 --> 00:25:59,538 - Body! - Body! 456 00:25:59,643 --> 00:26:02,806 "Buddy." Heh heh. 457 00:26:02,846 --> 00:26:06,680 You're obviously a very powerful man, Lars. 458 00:26:06,717 --> 00:26:08,207 Would you excuse me? 459 00:26:11,288 --> 00:26:14,189 Yes, but with much difficulty! 460 00:26:17,361 --> 00:26:21,493 Buddy! 461 00:26:21,532 --> 00:26:24,330 All right, Gerry, it's your bat. 462 00:26:24,368 --> 00:26:26,302 Nicholas, you know what to do. 463 00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:27,997 Is this kind of like cricket? 464 00:26:28,038 --> 00:26:29,505 It's not kind of like cricket. 465 00:26:29,540 --> 00:26:32,338 It is cricket. Just with a different name. 466 00:26:32,376 --> 00:26:34,674 MVPers are almost here. Are the boys ready? 467 00:26:34,711 --> 00:26:37,509 Yeah. Tony, I really need to talk to you about this. 468 00:26:37,548 --> 00:26:39,345 Our kids will get their butts handed to them. 469 00:26:39,383 --> 00:26:40,873 Why don't we hold off on this? 470 00:26:40,918 --> 00:26:44,012 Thank you for telling me how to run my camp. 471 00:26:44,054 --> 00:26:45,521 That I bought. 472 00:26:45,556 --> 00:26:49,287 This won't help those kids get any better at sports! 473 00:26:49,326 --> 00:26:51,021 We're not teaching them about sports! 474 00:26:51,061 --> 00:26:52,995 We're teaching them about life! 475 00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:54,793 Life. 476 00:26:59,136 --> 00:27:00,501 Look! 477 00:27:00,537 --> 00:27:03,472 Come on, let's go! Let's do it! 478 00:27:03,507 --> 00:27:07,204 Go, go, go! 479 00:27:07,244 --> 00:27:09,007 I'm not so good at sports. 480 00:27:09,046 --> 00:27:11,105 Oh, yeah, and I'm Deion Sanders. 481 00:27:11,148 --> 00:27:13,343 We're dead, guys. 482 00:27:14,851 --> 00:27:16,944 All right, I want to see some hustle out there! 483 00:27:16,987 --> 00:27:19,319 - Hey, Chris. - Pat, how you doing? 484 00:27:19,356 --> 00:27:21,153 See you got a promotion. 485 00:27:21,191 --> 00:27:24,319 Yeah. Listen, Chris, over the years... 486 00:27:24,361 --> 00:27:25,828 you guys have whooped us pretty good. 487 00:27:25,862 --> 00:27:27,887 How about taking it easy on my guys this year? 488 00:27:27,931 --> 00:27:30,991 - You know what I mean. - No, I don't. 489 00:27:31,034 --> 00:27:32,661 MVP campers are trained to compete... 490 00:27:32,703 --> 00:27:34,330 at the highest level at all times. 491 00:27:34,371 --> 00:27:36,635 We wouldn't want to confuse them. 492 00:27:36,673 --> 00:27:38,368 Looking good, Pat. 493 00:27:38,408 --> 00:27:40,205 All right, let's work it around! 494 00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:41,505 Come on, men! 495 00:27:41,545 --> 00:27:43,274 Let's hit the field and let the fates decide. 496 00:27:43,313 --> 00:27:44,746 There we go-- good plan, all right! 497 00:27:44,781 --> 00:27:46,510 There you go! Eye of the tiger! 498 00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:48,017 Did you eat your Wheaties today, Phillip? 499 00:27:48,051 --> 00:27:49,678 I hope to God you ate your Wheaties. 500 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,017 Simms, way to hustle. 501 00:27:51,054 --> 00:27:52,544 Like a rocket-- there you go. 502 00:27:53,890 --> 00:27:56,051 Pat Finley, please report... 503 00:27:56,093 --> 00:27:58,857 to the men's toilet immediately. 504 00:27:58,895 --> 00:28:02,854 Bring a mop and a plunger...now! 505 00:28:05,969 --> 00:28:08,665 All right, who's up first? Let's go! 506 00:28:09,906 --> 00:28:11,874 Ohh, my arm! 507 00:28:12,876 --> 00:28:14,173 Oh, my knee! 508 00:28:14,211 --> 00:28:16,179 Ohh, my-- 509 00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:24,015 # Even the best gets beat sometimes, baby # 510 00:28:24,054 --> 00:28:25,646 Come on, lardo! 511 00:28:25,689 --> 00:28:29,216 Tim, take me out, please! 512 00:28:29,259 --> 00:28:32,057 # You got to hang tough # 513 00:28:32,095 --> 00:28:34,393 - Ohh! - Out! 514 00:28:34,431 --> 00:28:35,921 # You got to hang tough # 515 00:28:35,966 --> 00:28:38,526 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 516 00:28:38,568 --> 00:28:40,559 Beautiful! 517 00:28:40,604 --> 00:28:42,595 Can I go to the nurse? 518 00:28:42,639 --> 00:28:44,869 Yeah, OK, Phillip. 519 00:28:44,908 --> 00:28:48,571 Just wait till someone comes back, OK? 520 00:28:50,781 --> 00:28:52,248 Ow, my arm. 521 00:28:53,483 --> 00:28:57,214 Cody, what on earth is going on out there? 522 00:28:57,254 --> 00:28:59,552 We're Perkisizing. 523 00:29:03,593 --> 00:29:04,924 Strike! 524 00:29:04,961 --> 00:29:07,054 Hey, batter, batter, batter. 525 00:29:08,632 --> 00:29:10,964 # Even the experts miss sometimes # 526 00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:12,559 Strike! 527 00:29:12,602 --> 00:29:14,001 Strike three! 528 00:29:15,572 --> 00:29:16,800 Strike! 529 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,502 Nice swing, you fat towboat. Ha! 530 00:29:19,543 --> 00:29:21,534 Is that all you've got? 531 00:29:21,578 --> 00:29:22,738 Uhh! 532 00:29:24,114 --> 00:29:25,513 That's foul! 533 00:29:27,718 --> 00:29:30,118 Doh! 534 00:29:31,822 --> 00:29:34,814 All right, next batter. Let's go, son. 535 00:29:37,127 --> 00:29:38,617 - Uhh! - Look out! 536 00:29:38,662 --> 00:29:41,130 - Ow! - Sorry! 537 00:29:41,164 --> 00:29:42,358 You can do it. 538 00:29:42,399 --> 00:29:43,923 Keep your eyes on the bat... 539 00:29:43,967 --> 00:29:45,730 put it in the pocket... 540 00:29:45,769 --> 00:29:46,929 swing harder... 541 00:29:46,970 --> 00:29:48,904 I have no idea what I'm saying. 542 00:29:49,906 --> 00:29:51,100 Ohh! 543 00:29:51,141 --> 00:29:52,802 You OK? 544 00:29:54,544 --> 00:29:56,978 There goes your perfect game. Come on! 545 00:29:57,013 --> 00:29:58,947 Calm down. 546 00:29:58,982 --> 00:30:00,779 Let's go! Take your base, you big baby! 547 00:30:00,817 --> 00:30:01,977 You're holding up the game! 548 00:30:02,018 --> 00:30:05,010 # You got to hang tough # 549 00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:07,546 He ain't hurt. Suck it up, Gerry! 550 00:30:07,591 --> 00:30:10,151 Aww, look, the poor baby's gonna cry. 551 00:30:10,193 --> 00:30:12,161 Don't blubber, chubber! Ha ha. 552 00:30:12,195 --> 00:30:13,389 Uhh! 553 00:30:17,768 --> 00:30:19,702 Don't mess with us. 554 00:30:19,736 --> 00:30:22,269 No, man, that's my bed! 555 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,702 I don't enjoy this part of the job. 556 00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:32,305 But it's vital to the success of the Perkis system... 557 00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:35,410 that we remove all temptation... 558 00:30:37,219 --> 00:30:38,413 Ohh! 559 00:30:38,454 --> 00:30:41,981 ...from your lives. Here. 560 00:30:42,024 --> 00:30:43,821 Dispose of that, Lars. 561 00:30:45,695 --> 00:30:46,992 What? 562 00:30:47,029 --> 00:30:48,894 I'm still your friend. 563 00:30:48,931 --> 00:30:50,523 Come on, give me a hug. 564 00:30:50,566 --> 00:30:53,499 Hmm? 565 00:30:54,570 --> 00:30:55,832 Hmm. 566 00:30:55,871 --> 00:30:57,566 Come on. 567 00:31:03,012 --> 00:31:05,674 Tony believes in you. 568 00:31:10,353 --> 00:31:12,218 Looks like my man's packing. 569 00:31:20,930 --> 00:31:22,158 Drop back, son. 570 00:31:23,766 --> 00:31:26,894 Oh, Tony. 571 00:31:26,936 --> 00:31:29,336 Sir! I was a Chipmunk last year. 572 00:31:29,372 --> 00:31:31,932 Look. 573 00:31:31,974 --> 00:31:33,134 Dawson, what are you doing, man? 574 00:31:34,777 --> 00:31:37,439 Well, well, well, what have we here? 575 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,914 Who would like to own up to this treasure trove? 576 00:31:39,949 --> 00:31:42,474 Whose wonderful candies are these? 577 00:31:42,518 --> 00:31:45,043 Oh, look. A deli meat. 578 00:31:47,356 --> 00:31:48,948 You...come here. 579 00:31:48,991 --> 00:31:51,824 Yes, you. Come here. 580 00:31:51,861 --> 00:31:53,590 Don't be frightened. Just come here. 581 00:31:53,629 --> 00:31:55,756 - I.D. cards. - Yes, Tony. 582 00:31:55,798 --> 00:31:57,459 Let's see. 583 00:32:00,970 --> 00:32:06,533 "Garner, Gerald. 141 pounds. Age 11." 584 00:32:06,575 --> 00:32:09,976 You didn't have anything to do with this, did you? 585 00:32:10,012 --> 00:32:12,572 Well... 586 00:32:12,615 --> 00:32:15,743 But I bet you might be able to tell me who did? 587 00:32:17,887 --> 00:32:20,287 Anyone who brings candy into this camp... 588 00:32:20,322 --> 00:32:21,914 is not your friend. 589 00:32:21,957 --> 00:32:25,051 He is a destroyer. 590 00:32:25,094 --> 00:32:28,996 Do you understand that, Gerald Garner? 591 00:32:29,031 --> 00:32:31,363 Do you? 592 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,336 I'm sure your father... 593 00:32:35,371 --> 00:32:37,862 Maury Garner, wouldn't want to hear... 594 00:32:37,907 --> 00:32:41,399 that his son is a destroyer, would he? 595 00:32:41,444 --> 00:32:42,672 I don't think so. 596 00:32:42,712 --> 00:32:45,203 Enough. All right. 597 00:32:45,247 --> 00:32:47,374 I'll tell you whose candy it is. 598 00:32:47,416 --> 00:32:49,941 - Don't do it, Josh! - Shh! Let the man speak. 599 00:32:49,985 --> 00:32:52,476 The candy belongs to Seymour Butts. 600 00:32:52,521 --> 00:32:57,515 Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts? 601 00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,221 Who's Seymour Butts?! 602 00:32:59,261 --> 00:33:01,957 Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony! 603 00:33:07,837 --> 00:33:10,397 You picked the wrong man to mess with. 604 00:33:10,439 --> 00:33:13,135 Ooh. 605 00:33:13,175 --> 00:33:15,268 I didn't know I was messing with a man! 606 00:33:18,047 --> 00:33:21,642 Ha ha ha ha ha! We have a comedian! 607 00:33:24,587 --> 00:33:26,487 Hey, I like comedians. 608 00:33:26,522 --> 00:33:29,423 Perhaps I can book you on a tour. 609 00:33:29,458 --> 00:33:31,221 You the man, Josh! 610 00:33:42,104 --> 00:33:43,901 Good morning, campers. 611 00:33:43,939 --> 00:33:46,305 Joshua Birnbaum is no longer with us. 612 00:33:46,342 --> 00:33:47,707 His bed is now available. 613 00:33:47,743 --> 00:33:50,211 Josh is all right, isn't he? 614 00:33:50,246 --> 00:33:53,807 Man, I hope so... wherever he is. 615 00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:58,950 Sam, did you hear about Josh? 616 00:33:58,988 --> 00:34:02,446 Sorry to hear about your little friend Josh. 617 00:34:02,491 --> 00:34:04,891 Hey, Gerry. I found out the truth about Josh. 618 00:34:04,927 --> 00:34:06,588 I heard that they kicked him out... 619 00:34:06,629 --> 00:34:09,223 and his parents were so mad, they wouldn't let him come home. 620 00:34:09,265 --> 00:34:12,393 They left him at a bus stop all alone at midnight. 621 00:34:12,434 --> 00:34:15,494 Well, he's dead. 622 00:34:15,538 --> 00:34:16,732 He pulled a knife on Tony... 623 00:34:16,772 --> 00:34:19,570 and he's locked up in a juvenile delinquent center. 624 00:34:19,608 --> 00:34:21,269 Now he's living in the park in New York... 625 00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,335 with a guy who has no legs. 626 00:34:23,379 --> 00:34:24,539 No way. 627 00:34:24,580 --> 00:34:26,810 I'm just telling you what I heard. 628 00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:29,950 Dear Grandma... 629 00:34:29,985 --> 00:34:33,921 someone once said "War is hell." 630 00:34:33,956 --> 00:34:36,424 They've never been to fat camp. 631 00:34:38,027 --> 00:34:40,154 I knew the food would be bad... 632 00:34:40,196 --> 00:34:41,788 but even worse... 633 00:34:43,566 --> 00:34:46,262 today he killed the Blob. 634 00:34:46,302 --> 00:34:49,567 As for the go-karts... 635 00:34:49,605 --> 00:34:52,267 may they rest in pieces. 636 00:34:52,308 --> 00:34:53,673 I'm writing you... 637 00:34:53,709 --> 00:34:55,700 because nobody else seemed to care. 638 00:34:55,744 --> 00:34:58,645 I did not send you to go-kart camp. 639 00:35:00,816 --> 00:35:02,044 Attention, campers... 640 00:35:02,084 --> 00:35:05,850 lunch has been canceled today due to lack of hustle. 641 00:35:05,888 --> 00:35:07,219 Deal with it. 642 00:35:07,256 --> 00:35:09,451 Tony Perkis tries to lead by example. 643 00:35:09,491 --> 00:35:12,460 This is the eighteenth level of the Perkis system. 644 00:35:12,494 --> 00:35:14,792 You'll all be doing this by Labor Day! 645 00:35:14,830 --> 00:35:17,162 All right, do it to it, Lars! 646 00:35:17,199 --> 00:35:18,962 It's my honor, Tony! 647 00:35:20,336 --> 00:35:22,998 - Ohh! - Crazy! 648 00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:25,734 But we're afraid to follow. 649 00:35:27,910 --> 00:35:31,971 I know each and every one of you because I was you. 650 00:35:32,014 --> 00:35:35,882 Once a day, the kids from Camp MVP drive by... 651 00:35:35,918 --> 00:35:37,249 and make fun of us. 652 00:35:37,286 --> 00:35:41,222 You stink! You stink! You stink! 653 00:35:42,892 --> 00:35:44,792 Good one! 654 00:35:44,827 --> 00:35:49,127 At night, they vandalize our camp. 655 00:35:56,939 --> 00:35:59,567 At least Josh got out... 656 00:35:59,608 --> 00:36:02,304 where there's food. 657 00:36:02,344 --> 00:36:05,575 We have to resort to more desperate measures. 658 00:36:05,614 --> 00:36:07,707 Let's get 'em! 659 00:36:11,053 --> 00:36:12,247 I want meat! 660 00:36:12,288 --> 00:36:14,984 I'll save something for you! 661 00:36:15,024 --> 00:36:17,254 Tony's arranged a dance with the girls' camp... 662 00:36:17,293 --> 00:36:21,320 so he can humiliate us into losing weight. 663 00:36:21,363 --> 00:36:23,092 Pray for me, Grandma. 664 00:36:23,132 --> 00:36:24,622 Love, Gerry. 665 00:36:28,037 --> 00:36:31,302 # S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night # 666 00:36:31,340 --> 00:36:41,911 # S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y, night # 667 00:36:41,951 --> 00:36:45,944 # Gonna keep on dancin' to the rock 'n' roll # 668 00:36:45,988 --> 00:36:47,512 # On Saturday night # 669 00:36:47,556 --> 00:36:49,717 # Saturday night # 670 00:36:49,758 --> 00:36:52,454 # Dancin' to the rhythm in our heart and soul # 671 00:36:52,494 --> 00:36:55,122 # On Saturday night... # 672 00:36:55,164 --> 00:36:57,394 Let's just get out of here. 673 00:36:57,433 --> 00:37:00,300 We can't, man. They're guarding the door. 674 00:37:00,336 --> 00:37:02,930 # I--I--I--I got a date # 675 00:37:02,972 --> 00:37:04,462 Rock 'n' roll. 676 00:37:04,506 --> 00:37:06,736 # At the good old rock 'n' roll road show # 677 00:37:06,775 --> 00:37:10,973 Sugar-free punch. This bites. 678 00:37:11,013 --> 00:37:14,505 How much more are they gonna subject us to? 679 00:37:14,550 --> 00:37:16,415 Why don't those guys just lose weight? 680 00:37:16,452 --> 00:37:19,012 Why don't you show them how to throw up after meals? 681 00:37:19,054 --> 00:37:20,851 - Shut up. - You shut up. 682 00:37:20,889 --> 00:37:22,117 You guys, stop it. 683 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,121 Team Jerkis strikes again, huh? 684 00:37:28,597 --> 00:37:31,293 Do you think he could've possibly planned... 685 00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:33,324 for it to be this bad? 686 00:37:33,369 --> 00:37:34,996 Yes. 687 00:37:35,037 --> 00:37:37,505 I have some friends in Child Welfare. 688 00:37:37,539 --> 00:37:41,134 Tony must be doing something illegal around here. 689 00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:43,474 Maybe I should give them a call. 690 00:37:43,512 --> 00:37:47,039 - Great. - This really bites! 691 00:37:47,082 --> 00:37:51,678 Would you like to have some of this...punch? 692 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,449 Yeah, thanks. 693 00:37:54,823 --> 00:37:57,189 # I believe in miracles # 694 00:37:57,226 --> 00:37:59,524 Did you catch Lars's outfit? 695 00:37:59,561 --> 00:38:00,994 # Since you came along # 696 00:38:01,030 --> 00:38:02,930 # You sexy thing # 697 00:38:08,237 --> 00:38:10,102 Yo, check this out. 698 00:38:12,674 --> 00:38:14,369 Jeez, she's coming over! 699 00:38:14,410 --> 00:38:16,139 I think she's looking at me. 700 00:38:23,385 --> 00:38:26,047 Do you know where the bathroom is? 701 00:38:34,296 --> 00:38:36,696 Ouch. 702 00:38:36,732 --> 00:38:38,927 That was brutal. 703 00:38:38,967 --> 00:38:41,026 They're young, you know? 704 00:38:41,070 --> 00:38:43,038 Still afraid of girls. 705 00:38:43,072 --> 00:38:44,596 Poor guys. 706 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,632 So, do you want to dance? 707 00:38:47,676 --> 00:38:49,667 Um, uh... 708 00:38:49,711 --> 00:38:53,044 No, I have a bad...sprained... 709 00:38:53,082 --> 00:38:55,175 Excuse me. Tim? 710 00:38:55,217 --> 00:38:56,445 # You sexy thing # 711 00:38:56,485 --> 00:38:58,680 OK. 712 00:39:01,723 --> 00:39:03,657 This is really boring. 713 00:39:03,692 --> 00:39:07,389 This has got to end. 714 00:39:10,866 --> 00:39:13,426 # Oh-oh-oh, yeah # 715 00:39:13,469 --> 00:39:15,937 Excuse me, guys. 716 00:39:15,971 --> 00:39:18,201 # I'm just a love machine # 717 00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:21,300 # And I won't work for nobody but you # 718 00:39:21,343 --> 00:39:22,503 # Yeah, baby # 719 00:39:22,544 --> 00:39:25,069 # I'm just a love machine # 720 00:39:27,049 --> 00:39:28,846 Tim's blown a microchip! 721 00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:34,722 Tim! Tim! What are you doing? 722 00:39:34,756 --> 00:39:36,485 Saving the dance. Come on. 723 00:39:36,525 --> 00:39:39,358 The girls will see how much fun we're having... 724 00:39:39,394 --> 00:39:41,157 and then everyone will join in! 725 00:39:41,196 --> 00:39:42,424 That's weird, Tim. 726 00:39:42,464 --> 00:39:44,056 Maybe it is, Reverend No-Fun... 727 00:39:44,099 --> 00:39:45,589 but I am saving the dance. 728 00:39:45,634 --> 00:39:48,660 Stand back and watch the magic! Whoo! 729 00:39:48,704 --> 00:39:51,867 # I-I-I'm just a love machine # 730 00:39:51,907 --> 00:39:54,341 # And I won't work for nobody but you # 731 00:39:54,376 --> 00:39:56,071 # Ohh, yeah # 732 00:39:57,346 --> 00:39:58,608 Yeah! 733 00:39:58,647 --> 00:40:00,706 Oh, yeah! Get down to the funk! 734 00:40:02,417 --> 00:40:04,977 Don't you see how much fun we're having? 735 00:40:05,020 --> 00:40:07,147 Join in! It'll be contagious! 736 00:40:07,189 --> 00:40:08,713 It's called boogie fever! 737 00:40:08,757 --> 00:40:11,123 - Whoo! - That's it! 738 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,094 Nicholas, dance with me. 739 00:40:13,128 --> 00:40:15,323 Oh, yes! 740 00:40:15,364 --> 00:40:18,265 Shake a leg! Let's go! 741 00:40:18,300 --> 00:40:21,861 # And I won't work for nobody but you # 742 00:40:21,904 --> 00:40:25,101 Maybe we should go out there. It's just dancing. 743 00:40:25,140 --> 00:40:27,665 OK. I guess I can stand this song. 744 00:40:27,709 --> 00:40:29,233 # Yeah, baby # 745 00:40:29,278 --> 00:40:31,610 # A huggin' kissin' fiend # 746 00:40:33,015 --> 00:40:34,209 Yes. 747 00:40:34,249 --> 00:40:35,841 Yes! 748 00:40:35,884 --> 00:40:37,977 Excuse me. 749 00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:40,250 May I have the pleasure of this dance? 750 00:40:40,289 --> 00:40:42,223 Yes, you may. 751 00:40:42,257 --> 00:40:45,249 # That you have got to use # 752 00:40:45,294 --> 00:40:48,593 # If you look into my file # 753 00:40:48,630 --> 00:40:51,827 # I am sure you can find out how # 754 00:40:51,867 --> 00:40:55,359 # To turn me on, just set my dial # 755 00:40:55,404 --> 00:40:57,838 # And let me love you for a little while # 756 00:40:57,873 --> 00:41:01,809 # Ooh-ooh, I-I-I'm just a love machine # 757 00:41:01,843 --> 00:41:04,835 # And I won't work for nobody but you # 758 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,177 # Ooh, yeah # 759 00:41:06,215 --> 00:41:07,739 # I'm just a love machine # 760 00:41:07,783 --> 00:41:09,546 # Yeah, baby # 761 00:41:09,585 --> 00:41:11,815 # A huggin' kissin' fiend # 762 00:41:11,853 --> 00:41:14,549 # La la-la-la-la # 763 00:41:14,590 --> 00:41:16,285 # La-la-la-la # 764 00:41:16,325 --> 00:41:17,519 # La-la # 765 00:41:17,559 --> 00:41:18,958 # Ooh-ooh-ooh # 766 00:41:18,994 --> 00:41:20,791 # La la-la-la-la # 767 00:41:20,829 --> 00:41:22,194 # La-la-la-la # 768 00:41:26,702 --> 00:41:29,102 All right, dance is over! 769 00:41:29,137 --> 00:41:31,002 Everybody go home! 770 00:41:31,039 --> 00:41:32,529 Thank you for coming, ladies. 771 00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:33,836 You ruin everything! 772 00:41:33,875 --> 00:41:35,775 Buses are waiting over there. 773 00:41:35,811 --> 00:41:38,473 Thank you. I appreciate your efforts. 774 00:41:38,513 --> 00:41:40,572 I know this hasn't been easy. 775 00:41:45,721 --> 00:41:47,211 He was nice, too. 776 00:41:48,557 --> 00:41:51,117 Put the fruit trays away. 777 00:41:51,159 --> 00:41:53,491 The insects will be out soon. 778 00:42:11,580 --> 00:42:12,945 Hey. 779 00:42:12,981 --> 00:42:15,711 How about a ride out of here? 780 00:42:18,987 --> 00:42:21,922 Did this place always stink this much? 781 00:42:23,792 --> 00:42:25,589 No, Gerry. 782 00:42:25,627 --> 00:42:28,892 This place used to stink very little. 783 00:42:28,930 --> 00:42:31,899 In fact... 784 00:42:31,933 --> 00:42:33,798 it didn't stink at all. 785 00:42:33,835 --> 00:42:35,826 Well, it does now. 786 00:42:38,073 --> 00:42:43,807 I thought at least I'd be able to ride the go-karts. 787 00:42:43,845 --> 00:42:46,336 I've never ridden one. 788 00:42:49,351 --> 00:42:50,784 You really like them? 789 00:42:52,621 --> 00:42:55,488 I'm so slow. 790 00:42:55,524 --> 00:42:57,788 It would've been cool to go fast. 791 00:43:00,696 --> 00:43:03,631 Really fly, you know? 792 00:43:03,665 --> 00:43:06,498 I thought I'd be good at it. 793 00:43:09,204 --> 00:43:10,432 Really? 794 00:43:12,941 --> 00:43:14,272 That's interesting. 795 00:43:16,678 --> 00:43:20,444 Think you'd be able to handle those hairpin turns? 796 00:43:20,482 --> 00:43:22,473 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah? 797 00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:24,849 Think you'd be able to handle That powerful engine? 798 00:43:24,886 --> 00:43:26,786 Let's see what you got, Garner. Come on! 799 00:43:26,822 --> 00:43:28,289 Whoo! 800 00:43:28,323 --> 00:43:30,450 Lean into it! That's right! 801 00:43:34,696 --> 00:43:37,187 So, how did you learn how to drive go-karts? 802 00:43:37,232 --> 00:43:38,722 Mowed a lot of lawns, Gerry! 803 00:43:38,767 --> 00:43:41,065 Avoid the obstacles! Excellent! Sharp turn! 804 00:43:41,103 --> 00:43:42,502 - Whoo! - Yeah! 805 00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,107 Come on, faster! 806 00:43:47,142 --> 00:43:49,804 Faster, faster, yeah. 807 00:43:49,845 --> 00:43:52,279 No problem. 808 00:43:52,314 --> 00:43:54,077 How are you on your jumps, huh? 809 00:43:54,116 --> 00:43:57,051 - These things jump? - They fly, buddy! 810 00:43:57,085 --> 00:43:58,950 Watch out for that oil slick! 811 00:43:58,987 --> 00:44:01,285 Aaah! 812 00:44:02,958 --> 00:44:05,620 Aah! Aaaah! 813 00:44:09,331 --> 00:44:11,799 That was fun. Let's do it again. 814 00:44:13,335 --> 00:44:15,235 - OK. - Yes! 815 00:44:15,270 --> 00:44:17,636 As soon as I catch my breath. 816 00:44:17,672 --> 00:44:19,139 Maybe next summer. 817 00:44:19,174 --> 00:44:21,165 Come on, Pat. 818 00:44:49,537 --> 00:44:51,528 Josh? 819 00:44:54,209 --> 00:44:57,042 Josh? It's Josh. 820 00:44:57,078 --> 00:44:58,443 - Josh is back! - Josh! 821 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,505 Josh! 822 00:45:00,548 --> 00:45:03,676 - Man, good to see you! - I knew you were OK! 823 00:45:03,718 --> 00:45:06,846 Josh, what's wrong? What'd they do to you? 824 00:45:06,888 --> 00:45:09,789 Josh...speak to me. 825 00:45:09,824 --> 00:45:12,725 Were you in jail? The nut house? 826 00:45:12,761 --> 00:45:15,457 Josh, it's me--Gerry. 827 00:45:15,497 --> 00:45:19,661 Gerry. Pbbbbt. 828 00:45:19,701 --> 00:45:21,965 Heh heh. Funny, Josh. 829 00:45:22,003 --> 00:45:23,732 What happened, man? Talk to us. 830 00:45:25,974 --> 00:45:28,841 Josh was bad. 831 00:45:29,878 --> 00:45:31,209 What's he mean? 832 00:45:31,246 --> 00:45:34,443 Oh, man. Oh, jeez. 833 00:45:37,452 --> 00:45:40,148 Josh now good. 834 00:45:40,188 --> 00:45:43,419 Good? What do you mean? 835 00:45:43,458 --> 00:45:47,155 Must be... good to see my big ass again! 836 00:45:49,431 --> 00:45:51,661 I liked you better with the lobotomy. 837 00:45:51,700 --> 00:45:53,258 What really happened, man? 838 00:45:53,301 --> 00:45:54,996 Perkis sent me home without a refund. 839 00:45:55,036 --> 00:45:57,004 However, my dad's a lawyer. 840 00:45:57,105 --> 00:45:59,403 He threatened to sue and Perkis caved... 841 00:45:59,441 --> 00:46:01,807 like the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl. 842 00:46:08,850 --> 00:46:11,978 Hey, Josh, how long have you been shaving? 843 00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:13,351 A couple of years. 844 00:46:15,190 --> 00:46:17,454 What was it like on the outside? 845 00:46:18,693 --> 00:46:23,426 It was incredible. First, I went to the Sizzler! 846 00:46:23,465 --> 00:46:26,366 Got that all-you-can-eat meal. I closed the place. 847 00:46:26,401 --> 00:46:28,699 How are we fixed for supplies on this end? 848 00:46:28,737 --> 00:46:30,364 Perkis wiped us out. 849 00:46:30,405 --> 00:46:33,340 There isn't a Gummi Bear left in this entire camp. 850 00:46:35,877 --> 00:46:38,903 Whew. I am doggin' it this morning. 851 00:46:41,015 --> 00:46:43,779 Ahh. Come on, T. 852 00:46:43,818 --> 00:46:46,309 Now let's do it up. 853 00:46:46,354 --> 00:46:47,616 Whew! 854 00:46:49,557 --> 00:46:51,548 Start me up. 855 00:46:53,895 --> 00:46:55,294 Come on. 856 00:46:55,330 --> 00:46:57,730 Hurry up, guys. We don't have all day. 857 00:46:57,766 --> 00:47:00,166 Lift those legs. 858 00:47:01,269 --> 00:47:03,203 Looks pretty sturdy, guys. 859 00:47:06,441 --> 00:47:09,274 - Hurry up, man. - I'm trying. 860 00:47:10,445 --> 00:47:13,710 Roy, you're up first. Give it a shot. 861 00:47:13,748 --> 00:47:15,739 Simms, you're my lookout man. 862 00:47:15,784 --> 00:47:18,753 Give me a boost. Up, up. 863 00:47:18,787 --> 00:47:19,981 Uhh! 864 00:47:21,523 --> 00:47:22,683 Aah! 865 00:47:32,467 --> 00:47:34,162 All right. Gerry, check this room out. 866 00:47:34,202 --> 00:47:35,726 Roy, Nicholas, you guys come with me... 867 00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:36,998 and be quiet about it. 868 00:47:37,038 --> 00:47:39,336 That candy's gotta be in here somewhere. 869 00:47:39,374 --> 00:47:42,434 I'll find the candy. 870 00:47:42,477 --> 00:47:44,570 Where's the sweets? 871 00:47:47,215 --> 00:47:49,547 - Over here. - What do you got? 872 00:47:55,190 --> 00:47:57,818 Come on, you devil log! 873 00:47:57,859 --> 00:47:59,850 Uhh! 874 00:48:03,398 --> 00:48:04,558 Oh! 875 00:48:04,599 --> 00:48:06,362 - Hurry up. - All right, all right. 876 00:48:09,270 --> 00:48:10,931 "Perkisize with Tony"? 877 00:48:10,972 --> 00:48:12,872 That's me! 878 00:48:14,142 --> 00:48:15,632 I'm skinny. 879 00:48:19,013 --> 00:48:21,311 - Come on, Josh! - I'm trying! 880 00:48:21,349 --> 00:48:22,816 If you can't get it, we need to leave. 881 00:48:24,319 --> 00:48:25,479 Yeah! 882 00:48:27,589 --> 00:48:29,955 Uhh! 883 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,723 Thanks, Captain. 884 00:48:35,830 --> 00:48:38,298 I'm doggin' it, Pat! 885 00:48:40,902 --> 00:48:42,233 Letters? 886 00:48:46,407 --> 00:48:48,671 You guys, these are our letters home. 887 00:48:48,710 --> 00:48:53,044 No way. This guy is sick! 888 00:48:53,081 --> 00:48:55,447 This is the letter I wrote my grandma! 889 00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,154 Oh! 890 00:49:12,300 --> 00:49:15,098 Pack it up, guys. Let's move! 891 00:49:15,136 --> 00:49:17,468 Oh, no. We're dead! 892 00:49:23,578 --> 00:49:26,138 He's coming! He's coming! 893 00:49:26,180 --> 00:49:28,114 He's coming! 894 00:49:31,286 --> 00:49:32,651 Roy, the picture! 895 00:49:32,687 --> 00:49:34,518 Josh, the drawers! 896 00:49:40,395 --> 00:49:42,090 Put the whites away, Gerry. Help me! 897 00:49:42,130 --> 00:49:45,293 - Whites right here. - Just throw it in! 898 00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:48,359 Oooooo-ahhhh! 899 00:49:50,004 --> 00:49:52,632 Wait a sec! Where's Nicholas? 900 00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:57,711 You guys go. I'll get him. 901 00:49:57,745 --> 00:49:59,406 Let's move it, Roy. 902 00:49:59,447 --> 00:50:01,972 Nickie! Nicholas! 903 00:50:05,019 --> 00:50:06,782 Mmm! 904 00:50:06,821 --> 00:50:09,255 What are you doing? He's coming! 905 00:50:13,361 --> 00:50:14,589 Get down. 906 00:50:16,464 --> 00:50:17,726 Gerry, come on! 907 00:50:28,476 --> 00:50:32,105 - Oh, my. I didn't mean to. - Just go! 908 00:50:33,615 --> 00:50:34,877 Uhh! 909 00:50:46,361 --> 00:50:47,555 Oh! 910 00:50:52,133 --> 00:50:54,431 Uhh! 911 00:50:57,739 --> 00:50:59,400 Scatter! 912 00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:31,998 Coast clear? 913 00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:33,530 - That was close. - Clear! 914 00:51:33,574 --> 00:51:36,099 - Whoo! - We did it. 915 00:51:36,144 --> 00:51:39,113 You really showed some guts out there, Cappy. 916 00:51:39,147 --> 00:51:41,672 One of those fish and chips farts there, Nickie? 917 00:51:41,716 --> 00:51:43,240 I extend my deepest apologies-- 918 00:51:43,284 --> 00:51:46,412 Wait! Wrapper. 919 00:51:46,454 --> 00:51:49,582 - What? - Food wrapper. 920 00:51:49,624 --> 00:51:50,955 Come on! 921 00:51:53,795 --> 00:51:55,990 Who's in there? What have you got? 922 00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:59,227 Nothing! No one! Just go away! 923 00:52:03,137 --> 00:52:05,105 Where'd you get that?! 924 00:52:05,139 --> 00:52:06,333 I found it? 925 00:52:06,374 --> 00:52:08,467 You found it. Come here, you little punk! 926 00:52:08,509 --> 00:52:10,477 - Tell us! - Yeah, tell us! 927 00:52:10,511 --> 00:52:12,536 All right! OK! I'll tell you! 928 00:52:12,580 --> 00:52:15,310 You gotta keep it a secret. 929 00:52:19,353 --> 00:52:22,288 # I know a guy who's tough but sweet # 930 00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:26,724 # He's so fine, he can't be beat # 931 00:52:28,296 --> 00:52:31,060 # He's got everything that I desire # 932 00:52:32,734 --> 00:52:35,396 # Sets the summer sun on fire # 933 00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:39,338 # I want candy # 934 00:52:43,611 --> 00:52:46,273 # Go to see him when the sun goes down # 935 00:52:48,049 --> 00:52:50,745 # Ain't no finer boy in town # 936 00:52:51,919 --> 00:52:54,979 # I want candy # 937 00:52:56,824 --> 00:52:59,156 # I want candy # 938 00:53:00,261 --> 00:53:01,489 # Hey! # 939 00:53:04,031 --> 00:53:06,727 OK, everyone. Here we go. 940 00:53:06,768 --> 00:53:08,702 Hey, I'm not rolling yet. 941 00:53:12,406 --> 00:53:14,374 Are you rolling now, Kenneth? 942 00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,876 - Speed. - Does that mean rolling? 943 00:53:16,911 --> 00:53:18,936 Yes, it does. 944 00:53:20,181 --> 00:53:21,944 OK, everyone. Clap your hands! 945 00:53:26,621 --> 00:53:29,988 We've reached the midpoint of our great experiment. 946 00:53:30,024 --> 00:53:32,083 Parents' Day is just around the corner... 947 00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,492 and I think they're gonna be very, very pleased. 948 00:53:34,529 --> 00:53:36,019 Remember to wear your name tags. 949 00:53:36,063 --> 00:53:39,590 I don't think they'll recognize you. 950 00:53:39,634 --> 00:53:41,033 Now it's time to see... 951 00:53:41,068 --> 00:53:43,832 what the Perkis system means in pure loss of poundage. 952 00:53:43,871 --> 00:53:46,863 This is the moment we've all been waiting for. 953 00:53:46,908 --> 00:53:49,308 Phillip Rubinoff, step up, son. 954 00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:53,242 All right, let's see how you're doing... 955 00:53:53,281 --> 00:53:55,215 you little whippersnapper. 956 00:53:58,419 --> 00:54:02,185 You're two pounds heavier than when you came to camp... 957 00:54:02,223 --> 00:54:03,713 but we can fix that. All we have to do... 958 00:54:03,758 --> 00:54:05,316 is decrease his food intake... 959 00:54:05,359 --> 00:54:07,520 and increase his metabolic output. 960 00:54:07,562 --> 00:54:09,553 All right! Step off the scale, son. 961 00:54:09,597 --> 00:54:12,225 Muscle weighs more than fat! 962 00:54:12,266 --> 00:54:14,894 All right! OK! 963 00:54:14,936 --> 00:54:19,032 Gerald Garner. Step on up, Gerald. 964 00:54:20,441 --> 00:54:23,376 - Good luck. - Go get 'em, Captain. 965 00:54:24,545 --> 00:54:27,378 Hello, Gerald. Moment of truth. 966 00:54:30,618 --> 00:54:32,017 Hmm? 967 00:54:39,460 --> 00:54:42,088 You've gained nine pounds. 968 00:54:42,129 --> 00:54:44,620 Have you been cheating? 969 00:54:44,665 --> 00:54:46,394 Turn off the camera. 970 00:54:46,434 --> 00:54:48,402 Let me make something very clear. 971 00:54:48,436 --> 00:54:50,631 The Perkis system does not work... 972 00:54:50,671 --> 00:54:54,437 with cheaters like Gerald Garner, OK? 973 00:54:54,475 --> 00:54:57,876 How can I sell an infomercial about fat kids... 974 00:54:57,979 --> 00:55:01,471 who can't keep their piggy little snouts shut? 975 00:55:01,515 --> 00:55:04,313 Who's gonna buy that? Step off the scale. 976 00:55:07,722 --> 00:55:10,987 OK. Turn on the camera. 977 00:55:11,025 --> 00:55:13,687 Josh Birnbaum, step on up! 978 00:55:13,728 --> 00:55:15,992 Get on the scale, son! All right! 979 00:55:17,865 --> 00:55:19,025 - Get off the scale. - OK, then. 980 00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:22,058 Turn off the camera. All right. 981 00:55:22,103 --> 00:55:25,095 All right, fine. I blame myself. 982 00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,468 You know what? 983 00:55:27,508 --> 00:55:30,602 I don't blame myself. No, not this time, Tony. 984 00:55:30,645 --> 00:55:32,636 Excuse me one second. 985 00:55:37,485 --> 00:55:39,453 How you doin', little Tony? 986 00:55:39,487 --> 00:55:40,784 Bad. 987 00:55:40,821 --> 00:55:42,379 Why do you feel bad? 988 00:55:42,423 --> 00:55:44,152 Because everything's falling apart... 989 00:55:44,191 --> 00:55:45,886 and I can't do anything about it. 990 00:55:45,927 --> 00:55:48,361 It's not your fault. 991 00:55:48,396 --> 00:55:50,330 I know it's not my fault, but whose fault is it... 992 00:55:50,364 --> 00:55:51,626 if it's not my fault? 993 00:55:51,666 --> 00:55:53,964 It's their fault. That's right. 994 00:55:54,001 --> 00:55:55,559 It's their fault! 995 00:55:55,603 --> 00:55:58,231 You have failed, and you will pay! 996 00:55:58,272 --> 00:55:59,933 Tomorrow morning at 0600... 997 00:55:59,974 --> 00:56:02,067 everyone who has not met their weight loss goal... 998 00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:03,838 will join me on a 20-mile hike. 999 00:56:03,878 --> 00:56:07,041 Pack light, boys. The party's over. 1000 00:56:07,081 --> 00:56:10,050 Twenty miles? Tony! 1001 00:56:10,084 --> 00:56:12,552 Tony, sir, with all due respect... 1002 00:56:12,586 --> 00:56:14,884 I don't think it's healthy to subject the-- 1003 00:56:14,922 --> 00:56:16,617 Healthy? Oh, healthy! 1004 00:56:16,657 --> 00:56:19,751 The fat man is gonna tell me what's healthy! 1005 00:56:19,794 --> 00:56:21,853 I'm just saying that-- 1006 00:56:21,896 --> 00:56:23,454 You just--You--I-- 1007 00:56:23,497 --> 00:56:25,488 I think if-- To subject the kids-- 1008 00:56:25,533 --> 00:56:26,864 Know what? It's funny. 1009 00:56:26,901 --> 00:56:30,564 Nobody really cares what you have to say. 1010 00:56:30,604 --> 00:56:32,731 You're a negativity-spreader. 1011 00:56:32,773 --> 00:56:35,264 You're contaminating my well, Finley... 1012 00:56:35,309 --> 00:56:37,573 and I won't have it. 1013 00:56:39,613 --> 00:56:41,945 Let's make the best of this afternoon. 1014 00:56:46,954 --> 00:56:48,444 It's OK, man. 1015 00:56:48,489 --> 00:56:50,457 Forget it, Pat. 1016 00:57:09,142 --> 00:57:11,372 Hey. 1017 00:57:13,780 --> 00:57:17,113 They're having a barbecue over at Camp MVP tonight. 1018 00:57:17,150 --> 00:57:19,084 Carolina ribs. 1019 00:57:19,119 --> 00:57:22,782 The pork, not the beef. 1020 00:57:22,822 --> 00:57:25,848 I wonder what it would feel like to be one of those guys. 1021 00:57:25,892 --> 00:57:29,851 Just once I want to score a winning touchdown. 1022 00:57:29,896 --> 00:57:31,090 In my entire life... 1023 00:57:31,131 --> 00:57:33,964 I've never scored a point in anything. 1024 00:57:37,003 --> 00:57:38,630 Gerry. 1025 00:57:41,208 --> 00:57:43,676 I'm just so tired of being the fat guy. 1026 00:57:45,078 --> 00:57:47,308 I know, Pat... 1027 00:57:47,347 --> 00:57:50,009 but you don't want to be one of those guys. 1028 00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:53,076 They're jerks. 1029 00:57:54,854 --> 00:57:56,082 Forget them. 1030 00:57:56,122 --> 00:57:57,953 Yeah, forget them. 1031 00:57:57,991 --> 00:58:00,016 Yeah. 1032 00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:01,925 Forget you! 1033 00:58:01,962 --> 00:58:04,954 Keep your washboard stomachs and your oily muscles! 1034 00:58:04,998 --> 00:58:07,023 I don't want them! 1035 00:58:10,070 --> 00:58:12,129 I'm still tired of being the fat guy. 1036 00:58:12,172 --> 00:58:13,730 Come on, Pat. You're cool. 1037 00:58:13,773 --> 00:58:15,206 Everybody knows that. 1038 00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:17,733 I feel cool. 1039 00:58:17,777 --> 00:58:21,338 Being humiliated by that psycho today was pretty cool. 1040 00:58:21,381 --> 00:58:23,042 Oh, yeah. 1041 00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:25,381 I've been a lot of help to you guys. 1042 00:58:27,220 --> 00:58:30,155 At least you stood up to him. 1043 00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:35,861 Nobody else had the guts to. 1044 00:58:37,530 --> 00:58:39,327 We should've backed you up. 1045 00:58:41,034 --> 00:58:44,834 When are we going to start sticking up for ourselves? 1046 00:58:48,241 --> 00:58:52,371 Now, Gerry. How about right now? 1047 00:58:52,412 --> 00:58:55,813 Yeah. Let's go get everybody and kick his ass! 1048 00:58:55,849 --> 00:58:58,511 Yeah! Hold it. Whoa, whoa. 1049 00:58:58,551 --> 00:59:00,178 We got to be smart here. 1050 00:59:00,220 --> 00:59:01,881 There's some proper channels to go through... 1051 00:59:01,921 --> 00:59:04,651 but you get those guys through the hike tomorrow. 1052 00:59:04,691 --> 00:59:06,386 I'll do everything I can back here. 1053 00:59:06,426 --> 00:59:07,984 You be the leader now, Captain. 1054 00:59:08,028 --> 00:59:10,724 He is one, we are many. 1055 00:59:10,764 --> 00:59:12,026 His days are numbered. 1056 00:59:12,065 --> 00:59:14,829 - He's not so tough. - Yeah! 1057 00:59:18,004 --> 00:59:21,337 This is the day we separate the men from the boys. 1058 00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:26,211 Hightail it back to camp, Lars. It'll be a rough one. 1059 00:59:26,246 --> 00:59:29,738 I don't want to see any slackers or hear any whiners. 1060 00:59:29,783 --> 00:59:33,014 There'll be no food. This is a cleansing hike. 1061 00:59:33,053 --> 00:59:36,853 Just Father Sky, Mother Earth... 1062 00:59:36,890 --> 00:59:38,915 and your dear old Uncle Tony. 1063 00:59:47,667 --> 00:59:51,364 Use the swatting motion as an isometric exercise. 1064 00:59:52,839 --> 00:59:55,774 My dogs are killing me. 1065 00:59:55,809 --> 00:59:58,300 Gosh, somebody going to die today. 1066 00:59:58,345 --> 00:59:59,710 Call 911. 1067 00:59:59,746 --> 01:00:02,044 Did you ever hear the story of Icarus... 1068 01:00:02,082 --> 01:00:05,210 who continually rolled the ball up the hill? 1069 01:00:05,251 --> 01:00:07,185 But when he got too close... 1070 01:00:07,220 --> 01:00:10,485 the ball melted in the heat of the sun. 1071 01:00:10,523 --> 01:00:12,855 You're all like Icarus. 1072 01:00:16,996 --> 01:00:19,487 Aah! Aah! 1073 01:00:26,906 --> 01:00:28,100 - Whoa! - Aah! 1074 01:00:28,141 --> 01:00:30,109 Thank you, Gerry. 1075 01:00:42,422 --> 01:00:44,822 Uhh! 1076 01:00:46,059 --> 01:00:48,289 Get up, Cody. 1077 01:00:48,328 --> 01:00:51,024 Leave him. He's a straggler. 1078 01:00:51,064 --> 01:00:54,591 Stragglers must be left to fend for themselves. 1079 01:00:54,634 --> 01:00:56,124 I was. 1080 01:00:56,169 --> 01:00:58,069 Get up, Cody. We need to go. 1081 01:01:00,373 --> 01:01:02,102 Did you talk to Child Welfare? 1082 01:01:02,142 --> 01:01:04,975 They'd be glad to come out and investigate... 1083 01:01:05,011 --> 01:01:07,445 but they can't come for two weeks. 1084 01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,210 That's too long. What did your lawyer buddy say? 1085 01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:13,014 It's dicey. We don't have any hard evidence. 1086 01:01:13,052 --> 01:01:15,486 Tony's the hard evidence. Just look at him. 1087 01:01:15,522 --> 01:01:17,285 That's what the lawyer said. 1088 01:01:17,323 --> 01:01:21,259 - So we have nothing. - Basically. 1089 01:01:21,294 --> 01:01:24,889 You guys seen Tony? 1090 01:01:24,931 --> 01:01:29,197 That moron owes me 600 bucks. I'll kill that guy. 1091 01:01:29,235 --> 01:01:32,102 Busting my ass around here for nothing. 1092 01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:42,614 Feel the chi. 1093 01:01:51,224 --> 01:01:53,624 Repulse the monkey. 1094 01:01:58,598 --> 01:02:04,002 Part the wild horse's mane. 1095 01:02:04,037 --> 01:02:05,231 I say we push him. 1096 01:02:05,271 --> 01:02:08,069 No jury in the world could convict us. 1097 01:02:09,409 --> 01:02:10,842 Strike the chi. 1098 01:02:10,877 --> 01:02:15,007 No. Too messy. We can do better. 1099 01:02:21,488 --> 01:02:22,921 Great. 1100 01:02:22,956 --> 01:02:25,948 You've all done much better than expected... 1101 01:02:25,992 --> 01:02:28,085 so I've got a little surprise for you. 1102 01:02:28,127 --> 01:02:30,459 I've decided to extend the hike indefinitely. 1103 01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,124 - What? - That's right. 1104 01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:33,359 You won't return to camp... 1105 01:02:33,399 --> 01:02:34,923 Until you're in the leanest, meanest... 1106 01:02:34,968 --> 01:02:37,459 bestest shape of your short lives... 1107 01:02:37,504 --> 01:02:39,267 with one goal in mind-- 1108 01:02:39,305 --> 01:02:43,571 to defeat Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 1109 01:02:43,610 --> 01:02:45,874 Quite the ending to a late-night infomercial, hmm? 1110 01:02:45,912 --> 01:02:48,745 We don't want to play MVP. We want to have fun. 1111 01:02:48,781 --> 01:02:50,942 Yeah! 1112 01:02:50,984 --> 01:02:53,248 Cody wants to have fun. 1113 01:02:53,286 --> 01:02:56,278 All right, Cody, let's have some fun. 1114 01:02:59,692 --> 01:03:01,489 Whee-ha! 1115 01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:03,359 - Oh, my-- - Whoa! 1116 01:03:03,396 --> 01:03:05,990 I'm on the top of the world! 1117 01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:10,969 Yeah! How's this for fun, Cody? 1118 01:03:11,004 --> 01:03:14,132 Sam? Why don't you come out and join me? 1119 01:03:14,173 --> 01:03:16,266 I'm on my way. 1120 01:03:16,309 --> 01:03:17,970 He's going to get us killed. 1121 01:03:18,011 --> 01:03:20,673 - We got to do something. - Yeah, but what? 1122 01:03:20,713 --> 01:03:22,613 What's that? I missed it. 1123 01:03:22,649 --> 01:03:28,485 I was just saying we need a little rest. 1124 01:03:28,521 --> 01:03:30,011 Good idea. 1125 01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,956 Let's take an hour meditation break. 1126 01:03:31,991 --> 01:03:33,925 Then we're going to climb that 1,000-foot rock face... 1127 01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,588 over there with our bare hands and feet. 1128 01:03:36,629 --> 01:03:38,597 I know you can do it. 1129 01:03:38,631 --> 01:03:42,089 Until then, observe the silence of the chi. 1130 01:03:46,039 --> 01:03:48,473 - Shoot. - Let's do something. 1131 01:03:48,508 --> 01:03:50,135 I don't know. 1132 01:03:50,176 --> 01:03:52,872 Ohmmmm... 1133 01:03:54,447 --> 01:03:56,938 - You're lying. - I don't believe in you. 1134 01:03:56,983 --> 01:04:00,982 You can't do it! 1135 01:04:01,020 --> 01:04:03,853 Hahh! Cripes. 1136 01:04:03,890 --> 01:04:07,519 What is all the commotion? 1137 01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:11,724 We realize we've been lazy, and we want to change. 1138 01:04:11,764 --> 01:04:14,733 It's time we all got our acts together, buddy. 1139 01:04:14,767 --> 01:04:17,201 Good! Good! 1140 01:04:17,236 --> 01:04:19,136 It's amazing what a little food deprivation... 1141 01:04:19,172 --> 01:04:20,969 can do to adjust your attitude, huh? 1142 01:04:21,007 --> 01:04:22,201 Can I ask you a question? 1143 01:04:22,241 --> 01:04:24,732 Go ahead, Roy. Ask away. 1144 01:04:24,777 --> 01:04:27,644 Is it possible to do a sit-up if you can't see or hear? 1145 01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,513 Yes, Roy, it is possible. 1146 01:04:30,550 --> 01:04:33,713 Gerry says it's impossible. 1147 01:04:33,753 --> 01:04:36,483 Why don't we rock Gerry's world? 1148 01:04:36,522 --> 01:04:38,786 Come on. 1149 01:04:38,825 --> 01:04:41,555 Uncle Tony's going to do a little demo. 1150 01:04:43,262 --> 01:04:45,958 There are so many myths about the abdominal muscles. 1151 01:04:45,999 --> 01:04:48,092 I am happy to put this one to rest. 1152 01:04:48,134 --> 01:04:51,160 See, Gerry? I told you. 1153 01:04:51,204 --> 01:04:53,434 Now, remember, Uncle Tony... 1154 01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:54,872 don't get up till the count of three. 1155 01:04:54,907 --> 01:04:58,502 - I know the rules. - OK, good. 1156 01:04:58,544 --> 01:05:00,011 All right, everyone. Ready? 1157 01:05:00,046 --> 01:05:03,174 One, two, three! 1158 01:05:03,216 --> 01:05:04,547 Kiss my butt! 1159 01:05:04,584 --> 01:05:08,918 Oh, my! Oh, my! Haah! 1160 01:05:08,955 --> 01:05:10,445 Uhh! Uhh! 1161 01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:12,424 Pretty impressive stuff, huh, Tony? 1162 01:05:12,458 --> 01:05:14,085 You disgust me. 1163 01:05:14,127 --> 01:05:15,788 Come here! 1164 01:05:15,828 --> 01:05:18,319 Come here! Get out of my way! 1165 01:05:18,364 --> 01:05:19,524 What are we waiting for? 1166 01:05:19,565 --> 01:05:20,964 Come on! 1167 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,695 Run, Josh! 1168 01:05:25,238 --> 01:05:27,365 Halt! 1169 01:05:27,407 --> 01:05:30,069 Run! Run! Go! 1170 01:05:30,109 --> 01:05:33,135 Ow! Ooh! Hamstring! 1171 01:05:33,179 --> 01:05:35,477 Well, congratulations. 1172 01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:37,449 You've just joined the 76% of Americans... 1173 01:05:37,483 --> 01:05:39,417 who forget to stretch before physical activity. 1174 01:05:39,452 --> 01:05:41,443 Aah! 1175 01:05:46,459 --> 01:05:48,051 Let me see. 1176 01:05:48,094 --> 01:05:50,119 Ohh... 1177 01:05:50,163 --> 01:05:53,724 Uhh. Uhh. 1178 01:05:53,766 --> 01:05:55,791 Gentlemen... 1179 01:05:55,835 --> 01:06:00,329 we've reached the point of no return. 1180 01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:01,931 Yeah! 1181 01:06:06,778 --> 01:06:08,939 The only problem is, Kenny wants a lot of money. 1182 01:06:08,981 --> 01:06:10,243 How much? 1183 01:06:10,282 --> 01:06:12,273 Much more than they pay camp counselors. 1184 01:06:12,317 --> 01:06:13,750 Great. Why don't we have a bake sale? 1185 01:06:13,785 --> 01:06:16,049 What are you doing back already? 1186 01:06:16,088 --> 01:06:18,249 Where's the other guys? You OK? 1187 01:06:18,290 --> 01:06:19,621 I'm fine, I'm fine. 1188 01:06:19,658 --> 01:06:23,458 Good. We're still working on a plan to get rid of Tony. 1189 01:06:23,495 --> 01:06:24,689 Wait till you hear what we got. 1190 01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:25,924 That's great, guys... 1191 01:06:25,964 --> 01:06:28,364 but we came up with a plan of our own. 1192 01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,698 That is so cute. 1193 01:06:30,736 --> 01:06:33,796 Whatever. Come with me. 1194 01:06:40,579 --> 01:06:42,740 I have got a bad feeling. 1195 01:06:42,781 --> 01:06:45,579 Just try to stay open-minded. 1196 01:06:49,254 --> 01:06:52,519 - Password, please? - Yankee doodles. 1197 01:06:57,129 --> 01:06:58,892 Oh, good God. 1198 01:06:58,931 --> 01:07:01,456 Ooh! Uhh! 1199 01:07:01,500 --> 01:07:03,127 This is unbelievable. 1200 01:07:03,168 --> 01:07:05,033 So, what was your plan? 1201 01:07:05,070 --> 01:07:07,095 What do you think you're doing? 1202 01:07:07,139 --> 01:07:08,731 Taking over the camp. 1203 01:07:08,774 --> 01:07:11,470 - Oh, good God! - This is insane! 1204 01:07:11,510 --> 01:07:12,875 This is great. 1205 01:07:12,911 --> 01:07:14,879 Pat, you know what? He snapped. 1206 01:07:14,913 --> 01:07:16,540 He was swinging from a branch. 1207 01:07:16,582 --> 01:07:19,278 He was going to make us climb a mountain. 1208 01:07:19,318 --> 01:07:21,115 Guys, you can't kidnap the owner of a camp. 1209 01:07:21,153 --> 01:07:23,314 They give people the chair for this. 1210 01:07:23,355 --> 01:07:25,220 It was self-defense. You got to believe us. 1211 01:07:25,257 --> 01:07:26,849 I believe you. 1212 01:07:26,892 --> 01:07:29,360 This ends right now. 1213 01:07:29,394 --> 01:07:31,862 Get out of my way, Simms. 1214 01:07:31,897 --> 01:07:34,127 Yankee doodles. 1215 01:07:35,867 --> 01:07:38,927 Tony, I'm so sorry. I'll untie you right away. 1216 01:07:38,971 --> 01:07:41,838 Uhh! Thank you. 1217 01:07:41,873 --> 01:07:45,240 When this is all over, I'm going to deliver... 1218 01:07:45,277 --> 01:07:46,767 one well-placed kick to your groin... 1219 01:07:46,812 --> 01:07:48,404 that'll stop you from ever having children... 1220 01:07:48,447 --> 01:07:49,778 you worthless piece of-- 1221 01:07:49,815 --> 01:07:53,717 Are these ropes tight enough? We can get more. 1222 01:07:53,752 --> 01:07:57,518 I was going to help you out, but now... 1223 01:07:57,556 --> 01:07:59,353 I have to take you down. 1224 01:07:59,391 --> 01:08:01,382 - All right! - Yeah! Go! 1225 01:08:01,426 --> 01:08:04,520 I always wanted to say that to somebody. 1226 01:08:04,563 --> 01:08:07,327 Guys, it looks like we have to play this out. 1227 01:08:07,366 --> 01:08:09,926 I think there might be a way out of this... 1228 01:08:09,968 --> 01:08:11,230 but if we're going to succeed... 1229 01:08:11,269 --> 01:08:13,999 we have to stick together and work as a team. 1230 01:08:14,039 --> 01:08:15,700 Uhh! 1231 01:08:17,643 --> 01:08:19,474 I'll see you all in hell! 1232 01:08:19,511 --> 01:08:21,308 Oh! 1233 01:08:21,346 --> 01:08:23,576 With all the bears in these woods, Lars... 1234 01:08:23,615 --> 01:08:27,073 I doubt that you'll be seeing much of anything. 1235 01:08:27,119 --> 01:08:31,112 - Bears love honey. - Honey? 1236 01:08:31,156 --> 01:08:33,624 Chipmunks, move out. 1237 01:08:33,659 --> 01:08:36,924 Lars, have a nice summer. 1238 01:08:36,962 --> 01:08:40,329 - I didn't mean it. - Heh heh heh! 1239 01:08:40,365 --> 01:08:41,889 I'm sorry. I... 1240 01:08:41,933 --> 01:08:44,060 Ow! 1241 01:08:44,102 --> 01:08:46,070 Aah! I hate you! 1242 01:08:46,104 --> 01:08:48,197 You're awful! 1243 01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:50,367 Please help me! 1244 01:08:50,409 --> 01:08:51,967 I have candy. 1245 01:08:52,010 --> 01:08:54,274 Candy. 1246 01:08:54,312 --> 01:08:57,543 Good boy. You've come to free me. 1247 01:08:57,582 --> 01:08:59,106 Ohh! 1248 01:09:02,354 --> 01:09:03,719 Think we're going a little too far here, guys? 1249 01:09:03,755 --> 01:09:07,282 No, man. There are no bears in these woods. 1250 01:09:07,325 --> 01:09:11,193 Aah! Aah! 1251 01:09:11,229 --> 01:09:13,527 No bears, huh? 1252 01:09:13,565 --> 01:09:16,591 Aah! 1253 01:09:20,038 --> 01:09:21,596 Help me! 1254 01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:25,167 Don't you have any decency? Help me! 1255 01:09:29,481 --> 01:09:30,880 Look at the little deer. 1256 01:09:30,916 --> 01:09:34,511 Mr. Deer, I am a vegetarian. 1257 01:10:01,179 --> 01:10:05,047 Yeah! 1258 01:10:08,820 --> 01:10:10,287 Wake up, Tony. 1259 01:10:10,322 --> 01:10:12,381 Tonight is Evaluation Night. 1260 01:10:12,424 --> 01:10:14,517 The key word here is "value." 1261 01:10:14,559 --> 01:10:16,220 Do you have any? 1262 01:10:16,261 --> 01:10:18,559 No way, because you're a loser-- 1263 01:10:18,597 --> 01:10:20,792 a loser with a skinny wiener. 1264 01:10:20,832 --> 01:10:24,063 So, relax... and repeat after me. 1265 01:10:24,102 --> 01:10:25,899 I am a loser. 1266 01:10:25,937 --> 01:10:27,666 I smell. 1267 01:10:27,706 --> 01:10:30,106 I have no friends. 1268 01:10:30,142 --> 01:10:31,336 Now breathe and relax. 1269 01:10:31,376 --> 01:10:34,812 Please, shut that off! 1270 01:10:38,016 --> 01:10:39,449 Ohh! 1271 01:10:39,484 --> 01:10:42,009 - Whoa! - Whoa! 1272 01:10:42,053 --> 01:10:44,112 Wow! 1273 01:10:56,601 --> 01:10:57,795 All right! 1274 01:11:04,242 --> 01:11:06,267 Thank you very much for stopping on by. 1275 01:11:06,311 --> 01:11:08,802 Pass it on by. I'll take one of those. 1276 01:11:08,847 --> 01:11:11,315 Party! Yeah! 1277 01:11:11,349 --> 01:11:15,217 Oh, my gosh. Is that Tim? 1278 01:11:15,253 --> 01:11:17,084 Whoo-hoo! 1279 01:11:18,990 --> 01:11:21,720 He looks like a human s'more. 1280 01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:25,753 Look at that food. I should get down there. 1281 01:11:25,797 --> 01:11:28,095 No, Pat, don't go. 1282 01:11:30,969 --> 01:11:33,335 Stay here with me. 1283 01:11:34,372 --> 01:11:37,830 - Aah! - Shut up. 1284 01:11:37,876 --> 01:11:40,674 Hey, Lars, guess what? We're in charge now. 1285 01:11:40,712 --> 01:11:42,145 Know what we found out? 1286 01:11:42,180 --> 01:11:45,741 If you don't have a job, you get deported... 1287 01:11:45,784 --> 01:11:48,446 so, Lars, buddy, pal... 1288 01:11:48,486 --> 01:11:51,387 you with us, or are you against us? 1289 01:11:51,423 --> 01:11:54,620 I am with you. 1290 01:11:54,659 --> 01:11:56,559 I love you. 1291 01:12:01,733 --> 01:12:03,963 I thought they were supposed to be on diets. 1292 01:12:04,002 --> 01:12:05,162 I think they're cheating. 1293 01:12:36,868 --> 01:12:40,861 Good God! Can anybody hear me? 1294 01:13:10,835 --> 01:13:13,827 Excuse me. 1295 01:13:29,654 --> 01:13:32,555 Time to wake up, children. 1296 01:13:32,590 --> 01:13:33,955 Good morning! 1297 01:13:33,992 --> 01:13:36,756 Huh? Huh? 1298 01:13:39,831 --> 01:13:42,459 Who wants to tell us the lesson we learned here? 1299 01:13:42,500 --> 01:13:45,060 Don't put Twinkies on your pizza. 1300 01:13:45,103 --> 01:13:47,901 No. I think what we learned here... 1301 01:13:47,939 --> 01:13:51,431 is something about personal responsibility. 1302 01:13:51,476 --> 01:13:53,467 From now on, each of us... 1303 01:13:53,511 --> 01:13:55,945 is in charge of their own diets. 1304 01:13:55,981 --> 01:13:58,211 We have to learn some self-control. 1305 01:13:58,249 --> 01:14:01,412 Isn't that right, Tim? 1306 01:14:02,620 --> 01:14:05,487 You got it. I'm ashamed of all of you. 1307 01:14:05,523 --> 01:14:07,115 Come on! 1308 01:14:07,158 --> 01:14:09,718 We got to get healthy for ourselves. 1309 01:14:09,761 --> 01:14:11,729 If we'd start respecting ourselves... 1310 01:14:11,763 --> 01:14:13,424 no one can touch us. 1311 01:14:13,465 --> 01:14:16,127 That's right. You heard me. 1312 01:14:16,167 --> 01:14:17,600 We're as good as anybody... 1313 01:14:17,635 --> 01:14:20,160 and it's about time we started acting that way. 1314 01:14:20,205 --> 01:14:21,365 We got to take control of ourselves... 1315 01:14:21,406 --> 01:14:23,431 before we take control of this camp. 1316 01:14:23,475 --> 01:14:24,942 Who's with me? 1317 01:14:24,976 --> 01:14:27,137 Who wants to do this thing right? 1318 01:14:28,179 --> 01:14:29,578 It's up to you. 1319 01:14:37,322 --> 01:14:38,983 I will. 1320 01:14:55,807 --> 01:14:58,469 - Everybody ready? - Yeah! 1321 01:14:58,510 --> 01:15:01,035 OK, let's go! 1322 01:15:07,018 --> 01:15:10,112 Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? 1323 01:15:10,155 --> 01:15:12,123 - Fruit. - That's right. 1324 01:15:12,157 --> 01:15:16,457 Today, we're going to make pasta primavera. 1325 01:15:41,553 --> 01:15:43,919 Hey, how you doing? 1326 01:15:48,626 --> 01:15:51,595 - There he is. - Hey, I'm over here! 1327 01:15:51,629 --> 01:15:54,393 Gerry! Oh! 1328 01:15:54,432 --> 01:15:58,493 Hey, big guy. Look at you. 1329 01:15:58,536 --> 01:16:01,004 - You look the same. - I feel good. 1330 01:16:01,039 --> 01:16:04,372 That's important, too. 1331 01:16:04,409 --> 01:16:05,808 So? 1332 01:16:05,844 --> 01:16:08,642 Come with me. I'll take you around. 1333 01:16:08,680 --> 01:16:11,672 - He hasn't lost a pound. - Oh, Maury. 1334 01:16:17,956 --> 01:16:20,891 Don't be frightened, Nicholas. 1335 01:16:20,925 --> 01:16:22,916 I'm a beaten man. 1336 01:16:44,382 --> 01:16:46,577 Good afternoon, everyone. 1337 01:16:46,618 --> 01:16:49,314 Good afternoon. I'm Pat Finley. 1338 01:16:49,354 --> 01:16:50,753 You probably recognize me... 1339 01:16:50,788 --> 01:16:52,949 from my work in the Camp Hope promotional video. 1340 01:16:52,991 --> 01:16:56,757 Right now, I'd like to play another video... 1341 01:16:56,794 --> 01:16:59,228 to show you people just what it's been like... 1342 01:16:59,264 --> 01:17:01,061 so far this summer. 1343 01:17:01,099 --> 01:17:03,499 This'll be great. 1344 01:17:03,534 --> 01:17:06,094 Enjoy. 1345 01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:13,302 Aah! 1346 01:17:14,779 --> 01:17:17,304 Die! Yaah! 1347 01:17:19,117 --> 01:17:20,550 As a health care professional... 1348 01:17:20,585 --> 01:17:22,416 I would like to take this opportunity... 1349 01:17:22,453 --> 01:17:24,580 to warn you that Tony Perkis's program... 1350 01:17:24,622 --> 01:17:28,991 is not only ineffective, it's downright dangerous. 1351 01:17:31,696 --> 01:17:36,097 # Everywhere I go, I'm late # 1352 01:17:36,134 --> 01:17:37,829 My grandma runs faster than you... 1353 01:17:37,869 --> 01:17:39,962 and she's only got one leg! 1354 01:17:40,004 --> 01:17:41,835 Say it one more time, because it'll multiply. 1355 01:17:41,873 --> 01:17:44,205 - 40 push-ups? - 60! Down! Now! 1356 01:17:44,242 --> 01:17:45,709 - 80! - I can't-- 1357 01:17:45,743 --> 01:17:48,473 He is strict. 1358 01:18:00,391 --> 01:18:02,859 Kiss the ground, joker boy. 1359 01:18:02,894 --> 01:18:05,863 Would you get your foot off my back? 1360 01:18:05,897 --> 01:18:08,161 Now you see what we've been dealing with. 1361 01:18:08,199 --> 01:18:11,134 Why didn't you tell us about this? 1362 01:18:25,550 --> 01:18:27,575 You've been a good guard, Nicholas-- 1363 01:18:27,618 --> 01:18:29,643 strong and fair. 1364 01:18:29,687 --> 01:18:33,987 Your queen would be proud. 1365 01:18:34,025 --> 01:18:39,122 I'd like to reward you with this chocolate kiss. 1366 01:18:45,703 --> 01:18:47,227 Oh! 1367 01:18:47,271 --> 01:18:48,602 Yeah! 1368 01:18:48,639 --> 01:18:51,699 Where have you been all my life? 1369 01:18:51,743 --> 01:18:53,711 I'm going to love this. 1370 01:18:53,745 --> 01:18:55,872 Oh, my God. I'm going to be sick. 1371 01:18:55,913 --> 01:18:57,073 Nice touch. 1372 01:18:57,115 --> 01:18:59,379 I thought I'd spice it up a little. 1373 01:18:59,417 --> 01:19:02,352 It gives you that warm feeling inside? 1374 01:19:02,387 --> 01:19:04,184 Throw it over. 1375 01:19:04,222 --> 01:19:06,417 But it would smush. 1376 01:19:06,457 --> 01:19:08,618 That wouldn't be good. 1377 01:19:10,762 --> 01:19:13,629 No dinner, no lunch, no breakfast. 1378 01:19:13,664 --> 01:19:16,064 How's that grab you? 1379 01:19:16,100 --> 01:19:18,898 Take the candy. 1380 01:19:20,838 --> 01:19:23,898 Nice and chocolatey. 1381 01:19:23,941 --> 01:19:26,876 Chocolicious. 1382 01:19:26,911 --> 01:19:29,539 Whoops. 1383 01:19:29,580 --> 01:19:31,275 Butterfingers. 1384 01:19:35,253 --> 01:19:36,515 Aah! 1385 01:19:36,554 --> 01:19:38,181 Well, well... 1386 01:19:38,222 --> 01:19:41,157 looks like London bridge is falling down, huh? 1387 01:19:41,192 --> 01:19:42,420 Help! 1388 01:19:42,460 --> 01:19:43,688 How do you like the food here at Camp Hope? 1389 01:19:43,728 --> 01:19:44,922 It's good stuff. 1390 01:19:44,962 --> 01:19:46,987 Wait till I finish asking you the question. 1391 01:19:47,031 --> 01:19:48,555 Just say, "I love the food." 1392 01:19:48,599 --> 01:19:50,226 - I love the food. - Good. Here we go. 1393 01:19:50,268 --> 01:19:51,860 So, Josh, how do you like the food here? 1394 01:19:51,903 --> 01:19:53,097 I love the food. 1395 01:19:53,137 --> 01:19:54,798 Wait until I finish the question! 1396 01:19:54,839 --> 01:19:56,932 Damn! Forget it! 1397 01:19:56,974 --> 01:19:59,101 If he isn't stopped right away... 1398 01:19:59,143 --> 01:20:03,170 somebody's child-- maybe yours-- 1399 01:20:03,214 --> 01:20:05,148 will be hurt. 1400 01:20:05,183 --> 01:20:07,583 Ho ho ho ho ho! Yes! 1401 01:20:07,618 --> 01:20:11,850 That was wonderful! 1402 01:20:11,889 --> 01:20:13,823 Whoo! 1403 01:20:13,858 --> 01:20:16,691 So entertaining. 1404 01:20:16,727 --> 01:20:20,663 The cinematography, the editing techniques. 1405 01:20:20,698 --> 01:20:22,495 Though I must say... 1406 01:20:22,533 --> 01:20:27,470 the villain was a bit over the top. 1407 01:20:30,842 --> 01:20:34,505 Ouch. Everyone having fun? 1408 01:20:34,545 --> 01:20:36,604 Parents! 1409 01:20:36,647 --> 01:20:40,481 You're the cause of all my--their problems! 1410 01:20:40,518 --> 01:20:41,951 He escaped! 1411 01:20:41,986 --> 01:20:44,045 You little British butterball... 1412 01:20:44,088 --> 01:20:45,953 I ought to show you what it means to be an American! 1413 01:20:45,990 --> 01:20:47,981 Now you realize what we've been dealing with. 1414 01:20:48,025 --> 01:20:49,458 He has to be stopped! 1415 01:20:49,494 --> 01:20:52,588 Ho ho! Stop me, hmm? 1416 01:20:55,933 --> 01:20:59,596 Uhh! I'm too strong! 1417 01:20:59,637 --> 01:21:01,798 Uhh! Ah! 1418 01:21:01,839 --> 01:21:05,070 I'm too motivated! 1419 01:21:05,109 --> 01:21:08,408 And you're too weak! 1420 01:21:08,446 --> 01:21:11,574 Aah! Uhh! 1421 01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:13,914 Especially you, Garner, Gerald... 1422 01:21:13,951 --> 01:21:17,387 age 11, 141 pounds! 1423 01:21:17,421 --> 01:21:19,514 So, come on! You want a piece of me, Pops? 1424 01:21:19,557 --> 01:21:22,355 No one's taking this camp away from me! 1425 01:21:22,393 --> 01:21:25,157 Ooh! 1426 01:21:25,196 --> 01:21:28,996 I'm afraid you're wrong. You are through here. 1427 01:21:29,033 --> 01:21:31,900 - Are you OK? - I'm all right. 1428 01:21:31,936 --> 01:21:33,528 You have to take a stand. 1429 01:21:33,571 --> 01:21:36,438 Uhh! Guhh! 1430 01:21:37,675 --> 01:21:38,869 Oh! 1431 01:21:40,411 --> 01:21:44,643 Uhh! Ahh! 1432 01:21:53,190 --> 01:21:56,057 - We did it, Roy. - Yes, we did. 1433 01:21:58,396 --> 01:22:01,559 Sorry to ask you to deal with this, Mr. Perkis. 1434 01:22:01,599 --> 01:22:03,362 That kid was always a little off. 1435 01:22:03,401 --> 01:22:04,698 My parents didn't hug me. 1436 01:22:04,735 --> 01:22:07,203 You don't see me freaking out like a little baby. 1437 01:22:09,006 --> 01:22:10,974 I'm going to take a bath on this. 1438 01:22:11,008 --> 01:22:12,441 Listen, everybody... 1439 01:22:12,476 --> 01:22:14,842 don't freak out, don't call your lawyers. 1440 01:22:14,879 --> 01:22:16,141 We'll get you your money back. 1441 01:22:16,180 --> 01:22:17,909 We make nice, everybody's happy, 1442 01:22:17,949 --> 01:22:19,780 But for now, we close down the camp. 1443 01:22:19,817 --> 01:22:21,250 Everybody go home. 1444 01:22:21,285 --> 01:22:22,980 Have a nice summer. I got to get out of here. 1445 01:22:23,020 --> 01:22:26,649 I'd love to chat. Good luck to all of you. 1446 01:22:26,691 --> 01:22:28,659 - Say something. - Mr. Perkis, sir. 1447 01:22:28,693 --> 01:22:30,058 Papa. 1448 01:22:30,094 --> 01:22:33,723 Papa, we don't want to go home. 1449 01:22:33,764 --> 01:22:34,958 Wait a minute. 1450 01:22:34,999 --> 01:22:36,398 If you kids want to stick it out... 1451 01:22:36,434 --> 01:22:38,561 all I need to do is put an adult in charge-- 1452 01:22:38,603 --> 01:22:43,063 put it on the responsibility clause for the insurance. 1453 01:22:43,107 --> 01:22:45,439 Who's been here the longest? 1454 01:22:45,476 --> 01:22:49,139 - Four years. - One year. 1455 01:22:49,180 --> 01:22:50,374 - Two. - Four years. 1456 01:22:50,414 --> 01:22:51,972 - Three. - Five. 1457 01:22:52,016 --> 01:22:54,416 Eighteen years. 1458 01:22:54,452 --> 01:22:56,181 Eighteen? 1459 01:22:56,220 --> 01:22:58,415 - Whoa. - 18 years. 1460 01:22:58,456 --> 01:23:00,788 What the hell have you been doing with yourself? 1461 01:23:00,825 --> 01:23:03,487 Are you up to it? 1462 01:23:05,763 --> 01:23:07,754 Pat. Pat. 1463 01:23:07,798 --> 01:23:11,199 Pat! Pat! Pat! 1464 01:23:18,075 --> 01:23:19,269 I'll sure try. 1465 01:23:19,310 --> 01:23:21,471 Hooray. Ooh, yeah, OK. 1466 01:23:21,512 --> 01:23:22,877 Congratulations. Here you go. 1467 01:23:22,913 --> 01:23:26,007 Do the hokey-pokey and knock yourself out. 1468 01:23:30,755 --> 01:23:31,915 All right, Pat. 1469 01:23:31,956 --> 01:23:33,753 Enjoy yourselves. You deserve it. 1470 01:23:34,859 --> 01:23:36,121 I'm proud of you. 1471 01:23:41,699 --> 01:23:43,724 Dear Grandma... 1472 01:23:43,767 --> 01:23:45,735 things have really turned around at camp. 1473 01:23:45,836 --> 01:23:48,202 We're finally having a great time. 1474 01:23:48,238 --> 01:23:50,399 Uhh! 1475 01:23:50,441 --> 01:23:52,636 Whoo! 1476 01:23:52,676 --> 01:23:55,907 Yee-haw! 1477 01:23:58,349 --> 01:24:01,250 We're in control, and we like it. 1478 01:24:01,285 --> 01:24:04,083 We're putting things back to the way they were... 1479 01:24:04,121 --> 01:24:06,555 and no one is going to mess it up again. 1480 01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:12,720 Hey, Chris. 1481 01:24:12,763 --> 01:24:15,163 Where's the motor, man? 1482 01:24:15,199 --> 01:24:16,791 With Pat in charge... 1483 01:24:16,834 --> 01:24:19,098 we are united, and we are strong. 1484 01:24:19,136 --> 01:24:20,364 Can I get that wrench, Phillip? 1485 01:24:20,404 --> 01:24:22,804 Thank you. Josh, how we doing? 1486 01:24:22,840 --> 01:24:25,001 Got a bent axle over here. 1487 01:24:25,042 --> 01:24:26,509 We can do anything... 1488 01:24:26,543 --> 01:24:30,604 even take on Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 1489 01:24:30,647 --> 01:24:33,582 And we can win--I think. 1490 01:24:33,617 --> 01:24:35,380 Welcome, everybody... 1491 01:24:35,419 --> 01:24:38,320 to the 33rd Annual Apache Relay games-- 1492 01:24:38,355 --> 01:24:40,721 the favorites, Camp MVP... 1493 01:24:40,758 --> 01:24:43,659 versus the perennial losers, Camp Hope. 1494 01:24:43,694 --> 01:24:46,527 This relay today will consist of three parts-- 1495 01:24:46,563 --> 01:24:49,930 an obstacle course, the Hall of Intelligence... 1496 01:24:49,967 --> 01:24:51,958 and the Grand Prix. 1497 01:24:52,002 --> 01:24:54,300 May the best team win. 1498 01:24:54,338 --> 01:24:56,397 All right, Cody, give it your best shot. 1499 01:24:56,440 --> 01:24:58,135 Put a little pizzazz in it. 1500 01:24:58,175 --> 01:25:01,144 On your mark, get set... 1501 01:25:11,155 --> 01:25:12,986 Get up, get up! 1502 01:25:17,094 --> 01:25:18,493 Uhh! 1503 01:25:18,529 --> 01:25:20,588 Looks like an MVP romp again, folks. 1504 01:25:22,633 --> 01:25:23,895 Uhh! 1505 01:25:25,335 --> 01:25:28,463 Go, go, go! 1506 01:25:46,990 --> 01:25:48,582 Here, take it! 1507 01:25:48,625 --> 01:25:54,586 Whoa! 1508 01:25:54,631 --> 01:25:57,498 Keep going. You got it, man. Yeah. 1509 01:25:57,534 --> 01:25:59,695 It's just a couple more. 1510 01:25:59,736 --> 01:26:01,101 Come on. 1511 01:26:02,673 --> 01:26:04,140 Up. All right, here. 1512 01:26:04,174 --> 01:26:06,369 OK. All right. Ready? 1513 01:26:06,410 --> 01:26:07,775 Uhh! 1514 01:26:13,717 --> 01:26:15,014 Yeah! 1515 01:26:17,387 --> 01:26:20,845 - Aww. - Give me the balloon. 1516 01:26:20,891 --> 01:26:25,624 All right. You can do it. It's easy. 1517 01:26:25,662 --> 01:26:27,994 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1518 01:26:34,371 --> 01:26:35,736 I know you thought we'd get creamed... 1519 01:26:35,772 --> 01:26:39,868 but I don't think you'll get creamed riding this. 1520 01:26:39,910 --> 01:26:41,468 Whoa! 1521 01:26:41,512 --> 01:26:43,776 Did a little work on the motor. 1522 01:26:43,814 --> 01:26:44,974 Whoa. 1523 01:26:45,015 --> 01:26:47,540 You better take that feather off. 1524 01:26:47,584 --> 01:26:50,747 I don't think it'll fit under this. 1525 01:26:53,090 --> 01:26:55,684 Camp MVP is setting a course record... 1526 01:26:55,726 --> 01:26:58,160 as they move into the Hall of Intelligence. 1527 01:27:05,402 --> 01:27:06,835 Solve the equation. 1528 01:27:06,870 --> 01:27:08,394 - 55. - No. 1529 01:27:08,438 --> 01:27:10,338 - 17? - Nein. 1530 01:27:10,374 --> 01:27:11,534 Nine is the answer? 1531 01:27:11,575 --> 01:27:13,600 "Nein" is German for "no." 1532 01:27:17,214 --> 01:27:19,079 Artist and title, please. 1533 01:27:19,116 --> 01:27:20,515 Cher? 1534 01:27:22,186 --> 01:27:23,414 No. 1535 01:27:23,453 --> 01:27:26,013 Solve the equation. 1536 01:27:27,824 --> 01:27:29,018 Eleven. 1537 01:27:29,059 --> 01:27:32,085 Wunderbar. You may advance. 1538 01:27:32,129 --> 01:27:35,360 You must now name five American vice presidents. 1539 01:27:35,399 --> 01:27:37,458 Quayle. 1540 01:27:37,501 --> 01:27:39,628 - George Washington. - No. 1541 01:27:39,670 --> 01:27:43,071 - Quayle. - You said that already. 1542 01:27:43,106 --> 01:27:44,971 Cher? 1543 01:27:45,008 --> 01:27:46,771 Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa." 1544 01:27:46,810 --> 01:27:49,574 Van Gogh's "Houses at Auvers." 1545 01:27:49,613 --> 01:27:53,208 Botticelli's "La Primavera." 1546 01:27:53,250 --> 01:27:54,512 Over at the Hall of Intelligence... 1547 01:27:54,551 --> 01:27:56,917 Camp Hope has almost caught up to Camp MVP. 1548 01:27:56,954 --> 01:27:58,285 Can you believe it? 1549 01:27:58,322 --> 01:28:00,222 This is going to be quite some finish, folks. 1550 01:28:00,257 --> 01:28:02,122 Right is gas, left is brake. 1551 01:28:03,961 --> 01:28:06,293 - Alexander Haig? - Sorry. 1552 01:28:06,330 --> 01:28:09,527 - Caught you. - Shut up. 1553 01:28:09,566 --> 01:28:12,626 Nicholas, name five American vice presidents. 1554 01:28:12,669 --> 01:28:15,467 Levi P. Morton, John Calhoun... 1555 01:28:15,505 --> 01:28:18,235 Hubert Humphrey, Spiro Agnew... 1556 01:28:18,275 --> 01:28:19,799 Walter Mondale. 1557 01:28:19,843 --> 01:28:22,004 That's perfect. You may advance. 1558 01:28:22,045 --> 01:28:25,242 You Americans have no sense of history. 1559 01:28:25,282 --> 01:28:27,614 Home stretch! Go, go! 1560 01:28:27,651 --> 01:28:29,676 Accelerate into the turns. Don't forget. 1561 01:28:29,720 --> 01:28:31,017 Use your weight. Lean into them. 1562 01:28:31,054 --> 01:28:33,989 Be careful. This guy drives dirty. 1563 01:28:34,024 --> 01:28:36,322 - Thanks, Pat. - Go get 'em. 1564 01:28:40,497 --> 01:28:42,829 Nicholas! 1565 01:28:44,968 --> 01:28:46,765 Come on! 1566 01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:51,972 I don't want to put any pressure on you, Big Al... 1567 01:28:52,009 --> 01:28:55,342 but we have never lost this race, all right? 1568 01:28:57,247 --> 01:28:59,408 Don't forget your wings, man. 1569 01:29:02,019 --> 01:29:04,078 Take 'em down, Captain. 1570 01:29:39,756 --> 01:29:42,020 Yeah! Ah ha! 1571 01:29:46,129 --> 01:29:48,893 Hey! Back off! 1572 01:29:50,434 --> 01:29:52,334 Whoa! 1573 01:29:52,369 --> 01:29:54,303 Ha ha! So long, sucker! 1574 01:29:54,338 --> 01:29:56,329 Whoa! Aah! 1575 01:29:58,608 --> 01:30:00,439 Uhh! 1576 01:30:02,446 --> 01:30:04,778 Oh, shoot! 1577 01:30:04,815 --> 01:30:06,612 Come on! 1578 01:30:18,562 --> 01:30:20,587 Oh, no! Oh! 1579 01:30:34,511 --> 01:30:37,275 Go, Gerry. They're coming! 1580 01:30:37,314 --> 01:30:39,111 All right, all right. 1581 01:30:41,852 --> 01:30:43,717 Go! Go, Gerry! 1582 01:30:48,959 --> 01:30:51,427 Hey! Come on! 1583 01:30:51,461 --> 01:30:55,056 - Come on! - No! 1584 01:31:05,442 --> 01:31:06,670 Unh! 1585 01:31:09,479 --> 01:31:10,673 He's still behind! 1586 01:31:12,983 --> 01:31:14,450 He can't pass! 1587 01:31:17,487 --> 01:31:18,954 Come on! Unh! 1588 01:31:18,989 --> 01:31:20,752 No way! 1589 01:31:20,791 --> 01:31:23,021 Come on, Captain! Come on, baby! 1590 01:31:39,943 --> 01:31:41,137 Ohhh. 1591 01:31:46,550 --> 01:31:50,543 Oooooooh! 1592 01:31:55,492 --> 01:31:57,687 Aah! Yeah! 1593 01:31:57,727 --> 01:31:59,024 Oh! 1594 01:32:08,705 --> 01:32:10,730 All right, Gerry! 1595 01:32:10,774 --> 01:32:14,369 - I flew, Pat! - I know! 1596 01:32:14,411 --> 01:32:15,935 Hip-hip hooray! 1597 01:32:15,979 --> 01:32:19,642 Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray! 1598 01:32:25,889 --> 01:32:28,289 - Yeah! - All right! 1599 01:32:30,961 --> 01:32:34,829 You'll be happy to know that we're filing a formal protest. 1600 01:32:34,865 --> 01:32:36,332 That cup belongs to us. 1601 01:32:36,366 --> 01:32:39,028 Oh, the cup? This is what you want? 1602 01:32:39,069 --> 01:32:41,333 This is what your life is all about, Chris? 1603 01:32:41,371 --> 01:32:44,238 I tell you what, I'll airmail it... 1604 01:32:44,274 --> 01:32:45,639 back to camp for you, all right? 1605 01:32:45,675 --> 01:32:47,836 Take care of that, Simms? 1606 01:32:55,118 --> 01:32:57,450 You're crazy! 1607 01:32:57,487 --> 01:32:58,715 You bet I'm crazy. 1608 01:32:58,755 --> 01:33:00,723 Come on! Get that cup! 1609 01:33:00,757 --> 01:33:03,248 - Oh! - Crazy about my gal. 1610 01:33:03,293 --> 01:33:06,387 Whoo! 1611 01:33:14,004 --> 01:33:15,369 Whoo! 1612 01:33:19,476 --> 01:33:21,068 Hey, Pat... 1613 01:33:21,111 --> 01:33:23,443 thanks for the best damn summer of my life! 1614 01:33:23,480 --> 01:33:25,243 Same here, Captain. 1615 01:33:26,683 --> 01:33:28,173 Whoo! 1616 01:33:36,759 --> 01:33:37,919 All right, guys! 1617 01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:40,485 Let's sing the inspiring Camp Hope song! 1618 01:33:41,797 --> 01:33:43,560 Aw, come on! Here we go! 1619 01:33:43,599 --> 01:33:46,329 # Camp Hope, Camp Hope, we sing to thee # 1620 01:33:46,369 --> 01:33:47,529 Come on, guys, sing! 1621 01:33:47,570 --> 01:33:49,162 # The greatest camp in history # 1622 01:33:49,205 --> 01:33:50,365 # A place for boys-- # 1623 01:33:50,406 --> 01:33:52,772 Come on, Tim, that song's boring. 1624 01:33:52,808 --> 01:33:53,968 Sing something cool. 1625 01:33:54,010 --> 01:33:55,773 You want to hear something cool? 1626 01:33:55,811 --> 01:33:58,075 OK, cats, let's rock it. 1627 01:34:01,951 --> 01:34:04,181 Yow...huh! 1628 01:34:06,055 --> 01:34:08,615 # Camp Hope, Camp Hope, the place for boys # 1629 01:34:08,658 --> 01:34:10,319 # We got no girls, we got no toys # 1630 01:34:10,359 --> 01:34:12,623 # The bunks are hard, the cabins hot # 1631 01:34:12,662 --> 01:34:14,789 # Last night, a snake crawled in my cot # 1632 01:34:14,830 --> 01:34:16,991 # Make sure the shower door is shut # 1633 01:34:17,033 --> 01:34:18,933 # Or else the 'squitos bite your butt # 1634 01:34:18,968 --> 01:34:21,129 # And don't swim past when your friends make # 1635 01:34:21,170 --> 01:34:22,933 # A warm spot in the lake # 1636 01:34:22,972 --> 01:34:25,133 All right, guys, you're getting the hang of it! 1637 01:34:25,174 --> 01:34:26,436 Come on! 1638 01:34:26,475 --> 01:34:28,443 # Camp Hope, Camp Hope, please give us food # 1639 01:34:28,477 --> 01:34:30,502 # We're starving in a rotten mood # 1640 01:34:30,546 --> 01:34:32,571 # But still we're hanging with our friends # 1641 01:34:32,615 --> 01:34:35,413 # So we hope summer never ends # 1642 01:34:35,451 --> 01:34:38,750 All right! Sounds good! Here we go! 1643 01:34:38,788 --> 01:34:42,588 # Here's a tip that you should try # 1644 01:34:42,625 --> 01:34:46,755 # If people laugh when you walk by # 1645 01:34:46,796 --> 01:34:50,926 # Just walk right up and proudly state # 1646 01:34:50,966 --> 01:34:55,130 # Hey, back off, Jack, I'm a heavyweight # 1647 01:34:55,171 --> 01:34:58,607 # Back off, Jack, we're all heavyweights # 1648 01:34:58,641 --> 01:35:01,007 All right, guys! Hey, look who's here! 1649 01:35:01,043 --> 01:35:03,170 # My name is Pat, And he's our pal # 1650 01:35:03,212 --> 01:35:05,271 # And I'm Nurse Julie, She's Pat's gal # 1651 01:35:05,314 --> 01:35:07,578 # You know I'm Tim, And we're his band # 1652 01:35:07,616 --> 01:35:10,084 # And I am Kenny the cameraman # 1653 01:35:10,119 --> 01:35:12,053 Stop! Stop that stupid song! 1654 01:35:12,088 --> 01:35:13,350 You call that music? 1655 01:35:13,389 --> 01:35:16,950 # I know you think you're all rock stars # 1656 01:35:16,992 --> 01:35:20,086 # But here's an oompah song from Lars # 1657 01:35:20,129 --> 01:35:22,825 # About my favorite Camp Hope job # 1658 01:35:22,865 --> 01:35:25,527 # The day that I harpooned the Blob # 1659 01:35:25,568 --> 01:35:28,264 # And just to make it very clear # 1660 01:35:28,304 --> 01:35:31,171 # I was not scared of that big deer # 1661 01:35:31,207 --> 01:35:33,835 # And although Tony is not here # 1662 01:35:33,876 --> 01:35:36,310 # I still enjoy Camp Hope # 1663 01:35:36,345 --> 01:35:38,438 Thanks, Lars. That's great. 1664 01:35:38,481 --> 01:35:40,415 All right, guys, you ready to take it home? 1665 01:35:40,449 --> 01:35:42,314 - Yeah! - Let's rock! 1666 01:35:42,351 --> 01:35:44,785 # Camp Hope, Camp Hope, we all had fun # 1667 01:35:44,820 --> 01:35:47,186 # And now our time here's almost done # 1668 01:35:47,223 --> 01:35:49,623 # But we'll come back again next year # 1669 01:35:49,658 --> 01:35:52,126 # Because our friends will all be here # 1670 01:35:52,161 --> 01:35:54,391 # And here's a tip that you should try # 1671 01:35:54,430 --> 01:35:56,796 # If people laugh when you walk by # 1672 01:35:56,832 --> 01:35:59,266 # Just walk right up and proudly state # 1673 01:35:59,301 --> 01:36:01,394 # Back off, Jack # 1674 01:36:01,437 --> 01:36:06,534 # I'm a heavyweight! # 1675 01:36:06,575 --> 01:36:09,942 All right, guys, that sounds great, yeah! 1676 01:36:09,979 --> 01:36:11,742 We got a bunch of heavyweights here? 1677 01:36:11,781 --> 01:36:13,146 Are you guys heavyweights? 1678 01:36:13,182 --> 01:36:16,049 I said, are you guys heavyweights? 1679 01:36:16,085 --> 01:36:17,279 Gerry, are you a heavyweight? 1680 01:36:17,319 --> 01:36:18,946 - Yeah! - All right, Gerry! 1681 01:36:18,988 --> 01:36:20,979 Now the rest of you guys! Are you all heavyweights? 1682 01:36:21,023 --> 01:36:22,183 Yeah! 1683 01:36:22,224 --> 01:36:24,454 Counselors, are we all heavyweights? 1684 01:36:24,493 --> 01:36:25,960 Yeah! We're heavyweights! 1685 01:36:25,995 --> 01:36:28,020 - Pat, are you heavyweight? - I'm a heavyweight! 1686 01:36:28,063 --> 01:36:29,530 Nurse Julie, are you a heavyweight? 1687 01:36:29,565 --> 01:36:30,827 I'm a heavyweight! 1688 01:36:30,866 --> 01:36:33,892 - Lars, are you a heavyweight? - I'm a heavyweight, Tim! 1689 01:36:33,936 --> 01:36:35,995 Kenny the cameraman, are you a heavyweight? 1690 01:36:36,038 --> 01:36:39,565 - Yes, I'm a heavyweight. - We're all heavyweights! 1691 01:36:39,608 --> 01:36:42,577 So, Lars, you think you're coming back next year? 1692 01:36:42,611 --> 01:36:44,806 I don't know, Tim. I live very far away. 1693 01:36:44,847 --> 01:36:46,280 We'll fly you in. 1694 01:36:46,315 --> 01:36:48,510 Kenny the cameraman, think you can make it back? 1695 01:36:48,551 --> 01:36:50,246 I might be able to work something out. 1696 01:36:50,286 --> 01:36:52,516 That'd be very nice. 1697 01:36:52,555 --> 01:36:54,648 What do you say, guys? Does Camp Hope rule? 1698 01:36:56,158 --> 01:36:58,456 Pat, did you hurt yourself on the Blob? 1699 01:36:58,494 --> 01:37:00,587 Yeah. I tore my rotator cuff. 1700 01:37:04,900 --> 01:37:06,834 Good afternoon. 1701 01:37:06,869 --> 01:37:08,063 I know what you're thinking. 1702 01:37:08,103 --> 01:37:10,731 "Another guy hawking healing crystals door-to-door." 1703 01:37:10,773 --> 01:37:12,263 I don't like to call them crystals. 1704 01:37:12,308 --> 01:37:14,833 I like to call them "transformational facilitators." 1705 01:37:14,877 --> 01:37:16,572 Perhaps-- 109087

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