All language subtitles for Heavyweights.1995.1080p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AM]
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:08,722 --> 00:01:10,349
Excuse us.
2
00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:13,382
Jeez, get a room or something.
3
00:01:13,427 --> 00:01:15,361
All right!
4
00:01:15,395 --> 00:01:17,863
They're getting charged
for those.
5
00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:19,991
Those books aren't cheap,
either.
6
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:22,365
What are you looking at?
7
00:01:25,873 --> 00:01:27,864
Hey, Gerry,
isn't that your bus?
8
00:01:27,908 --> 00:01:29,637
Great way
to start the summer.
9
00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:33,510
Wait! Stop the bus! Stop!
10
00:01:33,547 --> 00:01:36,880
Ha ha ha!
Go, fat boy, go!
11
00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:40,717
# Everybody wants to live,
and they want to live #
12
00:01:40,754 --> 00:01:45,555
# And everybody wants to love,
and they want to love #
13
00:01:45,592 --> 00:01:49,255
# Everybody wants to be #
14
00:01:49,296 --> 00:01:52,891
# Closer to free #
15
00:01:52,933 --> 00:01:55,561
# Yeah, and yeah, yeah #
16
00:01:55,602 --> 00:01:57,900
# Everybody wants respect #
17
00:01:57,938 --> 00:01:59,405
Foul ball! Strike two!
18
00:01:59,439 --> 00:02:01,168
Little help here, son.
19
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,335
Come on. Toss it over.
20
00:02:03,377 --> 00:02:05,140
# Once in a while #
21
00:02:05,178 --> 00:02:06,543
Unh!
22
00:02:08,615 --> 00:02:10,708
Give it another try, son.
23
00:02:10,751 --> 00:02:12,218
Right here!
24
00:02:14,121 --> 00:02:16,555
Over the fence, son!
25
00:02:18,559 --> 00:02:21,221
Here!
26
00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:22,819
Unh!
27
00:02:31,204 --> 00:02:34,605
# Everybody one,
everybody two #
28
00:02:34,641 --> 00:02:38,577
# Everybody three #
29
00:02:38,612 --> 00:02:42,878
# Everybody needs to touch,
you know, now and then #
30
00:02:42,916 --> 00:02:47,876
# And everybody wants
a good, good friend #
31
00:02:47,921 --> 00:02:51,755
# Everybody wants to be
closer to free #
32
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,919
Lemonade, lemonade.
33
00:02:59,766 --> 00:03:01,131
# Everybody wants to live #
34
00:03:01,168 --> 00:03:02,829
# And they want to live #
35
00:03:04,871 --> 00:03:07,169
Mom!
36
00:03:07,207 --> 00:03:11,371
# Everybody wants to be #
37
00:03:11,411 --> 00:03:14,403
# Closer to free #
38
00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:23,020
Hello?
39
00:03:23,056 --> 00:03:24,523
We're in here, honey.
40
00:03:24,558 --> 00:03:25,889
Come on, son.
41
00:03:27,694 --> 00:03:29,594
Why is everybody home?
42
00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:31,723
Did someone die?
43
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,390
Who's this?
44
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:40,296
Hi, Gerry. Roger Johnson.
45
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,365
Islanders fan, huh?
46
00:03:42,409 --> 00:03:44,536
Team of the future, I say.
47
00:03:44,578 --> 00:03:47,547
Yeah.
Whatever, I'm out of here.
48
00:03:47,581 --> 00:03:49,549
Hold those horses, cowboy.
49
00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:51,210
Mr. Johnson is your guest...
50
00:03:51,251 --> 00:03:55,711
and he's here to talk to you
about a special summer camp.
51
00:03:55,756 --> 00:03:58,316
A camp designed
just for you, Gerry.
52
00:03:58,358 --> 00:04:00,223
Summer camp? No way!
53
00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:02,854
I have plans for the summer.
I'm gonna hang out!
54
00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:05,558
Come on, honey.
He's got a videotape.
55
00:04:05,599 --> 00:04:07,328
Why don't
we take a little peek?
56
00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:09,232
Why don't we not?
57
00:04:13,706 --> 00:04:16,266
Greetings, future campers.
58
00:04:16,309 --> 00:04:20,370
I'm Alice Bushkin,
and this is Harvey...
59
00:04:20,413 --> 00:04:22,847
and we've been
the owners and operators...
60
00:04:22,882 --> 00:04:26,943
of Camp Hope
for 32 wonderful summers.
61
00:04:26,986 --> 00:04:30,319
Won't you join us for number 33?
62
00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:39,655
Whoa!
63
00:04:39,699 --> 00:04:41,030
Hmm.
64
00:04:42,902 --> 00:04:44,961
What's that?
65
00:04:45,004 --> 00:04:46,835
This is called "the Blob."
66
00:04:46,873 --> 00:04:48,602
"The Blob," huh?
67
00:04:48,641 --> 00:04:52,042
You can go
as high as 15 feet.
68
00:04:52,078 --> 00:04:53,705
Wow.
69
00:04:58,651 --> 00:05:00,949
Wow, go-karts.
70
00:05:00,987 --> 00:05:02,716
How many times
can you go on the go-karts?
71
00:05:02,755 --> 00:05:04,655
As much as you want, Gerry.
72
00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:07,955
But be careful.
They can be addicting.
73
00:05:10,363 --> 00:05:11,853
I'm only kidding.
74
00:05:11,898 --> 00:05:13,991
Hi, I'm Pat Finley!
75
00:05:14,033 --> 00:05:16,001
I've been coming here
since I was 10 years old.
76
00:05:16,035 --> 00:05:17,332
Want to know why?
77
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:19,838
Because Camp Hope
is the fun way to lose weight.
78
00:05:19,872 --> 00:05:21,840
It's a fat camp!
79
00:05:21,874 --> 00:05:25,310
Are you crazy? No way!
80
00:05:25,344 --> 00:05:28,541
I'm not going to a camp
with a bunch of fat-loads!
81
00:05:28,581 --> 00:05:31,550
- Gerry!
- That's not kind, Gerry.
82
00:05:31,584 --> 00:05:33,552
We are doing this
for your own good.
83
00:05:33,586 --> 00:05:35,417
We gotta nip this thing
in the bud.
84
00:05:35,454 --> 00:05:40,050
I'm fine.
This is a joke, right?
85
00:05:40,092 --> 00:05:42,151
You're fatter than I am.
Why don't you go?
86
00:05:42,195 --> 00:05:45,130
You show your father
some respect.
87
00:05:45,164 --> 00:05:47,530
I think we should have
a little powwow...
88
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:51,731
and we will call you
with our decision later.
89
00:05:51,771 --> 00:05:54,296
I'll give you my decision
right now.
90
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:56,001
I'm not going.
91
00:06:01,247 --> 00:06:03,306
This is
Captain Harris speaking...
92
00:06:05,418 --> 00:06:07,818
...cruising altitude
of 29,000 feet.
93
00:06:07,854 --> 00:06:10,118
Those of you on the left side
of the aircraft...
94
00:06:10,156 --> 00:06:12,147
have a nice view of
the Blue Ridge Mountains.
95
00:06:12,191 --> 00:06:14,216
Hey, there, Mr. Rainy Day.
96
00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,558
I've got a little surprise
for you.
97
00:06:16,596 --> 00:06:18,461
Hmm?
98
00:06:18,497 --> 00:06:19,794
Huh?
99
00:06:19,832 --> 00:06:21,231
...but in your seats...
100
00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:23,827
we request that you keep
your seat belts fastened.
101
00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:25,701
Cutie.
102
00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:28,138
Great.
103
00:06:33,646 --> 00:06:36,342
Headed to fat camp?
104
00:06:36,382 --> 00:06:39,317
No. Why do you say that?
105
00:06:39,352 --> 00:06:42,321
Because you're fat.
Is that your dad?
106
00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:46,223
No. Why do you say that?
107
00:06:46,259 --> 00:06:49,319
Because he's fat, too.
108
00:06:49,362 --> 00:06:51,023
Well, so are you.
109
00:06:51,063 --> 00:06:52,860
I know. That's why
I'm going to fat camp.
110
00:06:52,899 --> 00:06:55,766
- I'm Roy.
- I'm Gerry.
111
00:06:57,069 --> 00:06:58,832
I guess I'm going.
112
00:06:58,871 --> 00:07:00,031
I knew it!
113
00:07:00,072 --> 00:07:01,630
And that's your dad, too,
isn't it?
114
00:07:01,674 --> 00:07:04,302
- Hell no!
- You'll love camp, man.
115
00:07:04,343 --> 00:07:05,503
Camp is awesome.
116
00:07:05,544 --> 00:07:08,479
No one picks on you because
you're not the fat kid.
117
00:07:08,514 --> 00:07:10,948
Everybody's the fat kid.
118
00:07:10,983 --> 00:07:14,248
Stick with me, Gerry,
because I'm the man.
119
00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:19,815
Mr. Bushkin tells the scariest
ghost stories you ever heard.
120
00:07:21,193 --> 00:07:23,821
Yes, have no fear,
I have returned.
121
00:07:23,863 --> 00:07:25,990
I got a rookie here,
and his name's Gerry...
122
00:07:26,032 --> 00:07:28,023
so show him
the same amount of respect...
123
00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:30,592
that you show me--none.
124
00:07:42,882 --> 00:07:44,179
Excuse me!
125
00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:46,184
I'm looking for
several portly adolescents.
126
00:07:46,218 --> 00:07:48,311
That's us.
You're looking good, Pat.
127
00:07:48,354 --> 00:07:50,845
Tell me something
I don't know.
128
00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:53,324
Let's load her up!
129
00:07:53,359 --> 00:07:55,452
Hey, hey!
How you doing, guys?
130
00:07:55,494 --> 00:07:58,190
- Phillip, how are you?
- This is Gerry.
131
00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:00,027
Hey, Gerry.
I'm Pat Finley.
132
00:08:00,066 --> 00:08:01,795
I'm sure you recognize me
from my work...
133
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,632
in the Camp Hope
promotional video.
134
00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:06,331
We have
a little tradition, Gerry.
135
00:08:06,372 --> 00:08:08,306
The new guy drives to camp.
Right, guys?
136
00:08:08,341 --> 00:08:11,367
Keep it under 70.
We got some weird local cops.
137
00:08:11,410 --> 00:08:12,843
You drive a stick, right?
138
00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:14,846
No, but I can try.
139
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,814
No, no, no.
Sorry, cannot risk it.
140
00:08:16,849 --> 00:08:19,818
Come here a second.
I gotta ask you something.
141
00:08:19,852 --> 00:08:21,683
Something very serious.
142
00:08:23,022 --> 00:08:26,150
Are you ready for the best
damn summer of your life?
143
00:08:26,192 --> 00:08:28,092
Yeah!
144
00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:30,322
Is everybody gonna
behave themselves this summer?
145
00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:33,594
- No!
- Good! That's what I expect!
146
00:08:33,632 --> 00:08:37,329
Can't do it.
Gotta get back to the camp!
147
00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:39,497
- Pull over, please!
- Don't bug me!
148
00:08:39,538 --> 00:08:42,371
- All right!
- Yeah!
149
00:08:42,408 --> 00:08:44,672
Ha ha!
Psyched you out!
150
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:47,042
- You stink, Pat!
- That's not funny!
151
00:08:47,079 --> 00:08:49,070
I thought that was
pretty amusing, myself.
152
00:08:50,549 --> 00:08:52,346
Garner, where you from?
153
00:08:52,385 --> 00:08:55,411
- Long Island.
- Never heard of it.
154
00:08:59,892 --> 00:09:02,622
Sam, don't lean
your head out the window.
155
00:09:02,661 --> 00:09:04,629
We lost six kids
like that last summer.
156
00:09:04,663 --> 00:09:06,460
I'm not going
to pick up your head.
157
00:09:06,499 --> 00:09:08,467
I don't need it anyway!
158
00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:12,801
Camp Hope, everybody!
Best place on earth!
159
00:09:15,341 --> 00:09:18,708
Camp Hope!
Camp Hope! Camp Hope!
160
00:09:18,744 --> 00:09:21,372
Camp Hope!
Camp Hope! Camp Hope!
161
00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:41,092
Mm-hmm.
162
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:45,297
All right, now in
a nice, orderly fashion...
163
00:09:45,337 --> 00:09:46,634
get off my bus!
164
00:09:48,307 --> 00:09:49,604
It's stuck!
165
00:09:49,642 --> 00:09:52,338
I don't know what to do!
It's stuck!
166
00:10:01,153 --> 00:10:03,849
- Heads up!
- Unh!
167
00:10:03,889 --> 00:10:05,447
Here's another one!
168
00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:06,788
Hey, bony butt.
169
00:10:06,825 --> 00:10:08,850
How was your year,
chicken legs?
170
00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:10,486
It's not funny, guys.
171
00:10:10,529 --> 00:10:11,928
Why are they teasing him?
172
00:10:11,964 --> 00:10:13,795
That's a counselor named Tim.
173
00:10:13,832 --> 00:10:15,959
He used to be one of us,
but then he lost weight...
174
00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,628
so we give him
a hard time about it.
175
00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:20,195
- He's cool, though.
- Let's hear it.
176
00:10:20,239 --> 00:10:22,969
Tim, what happened,
did you have a baby?
177
00:10:23,008 --> 00:10:25,499
That's funny.
178
00:10:25,544 --> 00:10:28,741
Just because I got these
great, skinny buns of steel.
179
00:10:28,781 --> 00:10:30,373
Whoo! Look at that--
all tight and toned.
180
00:10:30,416 --> 00:10:32,043
Bet you wish they were yours.
181
00:10:32,084 --> 00:10:33,881
Don't you?
Take a look, boys!
182
00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,716
The envy of the entire camp--
183
00:10:35,754 --> 00:10:39,918
Up there is the bald eagle,
which is a single breed...
184
00:10:42,928 --> 00:10:45,226
- Hi.
- Hi.
185
00:10:45,264 --> 00:10:47,858
I'm Julie, the new nurse.
186
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:50,232
Pat.
187
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:52,134
Pat, I'm a little lost.
188
00:10:52,171 --> 00:10:55,038
Can you tell me
where the infirmary is?
189
00:10:59,678 --> 00:11:01,646
Well, let's see...
190
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:05,411
Uh...No.
191
00:11:05,451 --> 00:11:09,979
Oh, well...I'll find it.
192
00:11:10,022 --> 00:11:11,421
Nice to meet you.
193
00:11:17,162 --> 00:11:19,653
Pat, you've been coming here
since you were ten...
194
00:11:19,698 --> 00:11:22,360
and you don't know
where the infirmary is?
195
00:11:22,401 --> 00:11:24,892
I panicked.
196
00:11:24,937 --> 00:11:27,030
What are we gonna do
with you, man?
197
00:11:27,072 --> 00:11:29,199
Help me with these bags,
all right?
198
00:11:29,241 --> 00:11:30,708
- Garner.
- Yeah?
199
00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:32,370
Let's get working
on this trunk.
200
00:11:32,411 --> 00:11:33,708
OK.
201
00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:36,214
- You got a girlfriend?
- Oh, no.
202
00:11:36,248 --> 00:11:39,046
So you broke up with her
before the summer...
203
00:11:39,084 --> 00:11:40,881
so you could be free
to play the field, huh?
204
00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:43,547
Yeah,
you gotta play the field.
205
00:11:43,589 --> 00:11:46,387
Yeah, I break up with
my girlfriend every summer.
206
00:11:46,425 --> 00:11:47,858
You gotta be free, you know?
207
00:11:47,893 --> 00:11:49,383
All right, put it down.
208
00:11:49,428 --> 00:11:50,986
This is it, Gerry.
209
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:53,692
I've been the counselor
in here for 10 years.
210
00:11:53,732 --> 00:11:55,063
I hope you're ready.
211
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,898
You'll be hanging with
some pretty cool cats.
212
00:12:00,439 --> 00:12:01,804
Josh, how you doing, man?
213
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,171
Roy.
214
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:07,702
I just saw the new nurse,
and she's very attractive.
215
00:12:09,214 --> 00:12:10,545
This pleases me.
216
00:12:12,217 --> 00:12:14,082
Here it is!
217
00:12:14,119 --> 00:12:18,112
Ah, Chez Chipmunk--
my summer home.
218
00:12:18,157 --> 00:12:19,624
What do we got here?
219
00:12:19,658 --> 00:12:23,560
Gerry, this is Josh,
camp legend.
220
00:12:23,595 --> 00:12:25,620
Aye-aye, Captain, sir.
221
00:12:25,664 --> 00:12:27,427
All present and accounted for,
Captain, sir.
222
00:12:27,466 --> 00:12:29,957
What's the matter?
You're not a captain?
223
00:12:30,002 --> 00:12:31,526
No.
224
00:12:31,570 --> 00:12:33,504
Then maybe you
should lose the wings.
225
00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:37,475
Welcome to
the Chipmunk bunk, Captain--
226
00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:39,443
the best bunk
in the entire camp.
227
00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:40,877
Yep! Sure is.
228
00:12:40,913 --> 00:12:44,280
You guys aren't gonna call me
Captain all summer, are you?
229
00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:46,079
Yes, sir, Captain!
230
00:12:46,118 --> 00:12:48,018
Captain, looks like
you're all set here.
231
00:12:48,053 --> 00:12:49,486
I gotta take care of
some other stuff.
232
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,352
You're the best, Pat.
233
00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,153
All right, take it easy.
234
00:12:53,192 --> 00:12:56,389
All right, Gerry, over here
is your brand-new bunk.
235
00:12:56,428 --> 00:12:57,895
Don't tell anybody...
236
00:12:57,930 --> 00:13:02,833
but I snuck in some Oreos
for emergencies.
237
00:13:02,868 --> 00:13:05,336
That was very sneaky of you.
238
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:09,136
Chipmunks!
Download, now!
239
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,318
New kid! Yo!
240
00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:25,653
Come on over here!
241
00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:28,854
Get these salamis off my back.
They really hurt.
242
00:13:33,732 --> 00:13:35,859
Phillip, look at this.
243
00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:37,528
That's pretty nice, Nicholas...
244
00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:40,561
but look at this.
245
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:43,271
Yes!
246
00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:54,049
Crikey!
247
00:13:54,086 --> 00:13:56,850
I knew it was too hot
in that bus.
248
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:02,821
This is definitely not sanitary.
249
00:14:02,861 --> 00:14:05,921
Everyone!
Grab a taste of England, guys!
250
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,314
You'll love the Bushkins.
251
00:15:02,353 --> 00:15:03,820
Every year
they surprise us...
252
00:15:03,855 --> 00:15:05,322
with something cool
for the camp.
253
00:15:05,356 --> 00:15:06,823
Last year
they got us the Blob...
254
00:15:06,858 --> 00:15:09,554
and this year I hear
they're getting us jet skis.
255
00:15:09,594 --> 00:15:12,358
- Jet skis!
- Here they come.
256
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:19,332
- You'll love these people.
- Really?
257
00:15:23,374 --> 00:15:25,342
Greetings, campers.
258
00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:29,540
Hi! Hi! Hiya!
259
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,844
You'll get it.
260
00:15:31,883 --> 00:15:35,341
That's the greatest sound
I've heard in a long time.
261
00:15:35,386 --> 00:15:40,517
Harvey and I are saddened
and dismayed to announce...
262
00:15:40,558 --> 00:15:44,358
that we are no longer
the owners of Camp Hope.
263
00:15:44,395 --> 00:15:46,420
- What?
- What's going on?
264
00:15:46,464 --> 00:15:47,863
What are you talking about?
265
00:15:47,899 --> 00:15:50,265
Sometimes in life...
266
00:15:50,301 --> 00:15:53,828
things don't work out
the way you planned...
267
00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:57,363
and in those situations,
sometimes...
268
00:15:57,408 --> 00:16:01,504
you file Chapter 9
bankruptcy--Jesus!
269
00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:05,915
We worked our whole life,
and what do we have to show?
270
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:08,817
Nothing! Nothing!
271
00:16:08,853 --> 00:16:10,548
Harvey, please stop.
272
00:16:10,588 --> 00:16:12,385
What?
273
00:16:12,423 --> 00:16:17,793
OK, kids, out with the old,
and in with the new.
274
00:16:17,828 --> 00:16:21,059
It won't be the same
without them.
275
00:16:21,098 --> 00:16:24,898
Your new owner will introduce
himself in a minute.
276
00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:27,268
But you know what I would like?
277
00:16:27,305 --> 00:16:31,071
Please, could you give us
just one more...
278
00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:36,205
Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"?
279
00:16:36,247 --> 00:16:38,977
Hiya.
280
00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:42,042
God bless all of you.
281
00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:49,423
We love you, Harvey!
282
00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:51,860
He's kidding, guys.
He's gotta be.
283
00:16:51,896 --> 00:16:53,955
One word of advice.
284
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:57,490
Never let anyone
sign your checks!
285
00:16:57,535 --> 00:16:58,934
Harvey, please.
286
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:01,939
You can't leave.
We need you.
287
00:17:01,973 --> 00:17:04,567
Come back.
288
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:06,975
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know, man.
289
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,996
Now, it's time to meet
your new owner and operator.
290
00:17:26,030 --> 00:17:28,726
Tony Perkis is a man
who believes in you.
291
00:17:28,766 --> 00:17:31,234
His life is dedicated
to saying things like...
292
00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:33,396
"Yes!" and
"You better believe it!"
293
00:17:33,437 --> 00:17:36,804
Entrepreneur, a motivator,
and a new friend...
294
00:17:36,841 --> 00:17:41,039
may I introduce
Tony Perkis!
295
00:17:44,882 --> 00:17:48,340
Mm. Can you smell it?
296
00:17:48,386 --> 00:17:49,648
What? No.
297
00:17:49,687 --> 00:17:52,815
There's a life force
in here tonight.
298
00:17:52,857 --> 00:17:55,121
Do you feel it? Hmm?
299
00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:58,219
I look around this room...
300
00:17:58,262 --> 00:18:01,698
and I see potential.
301
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:07,737
I see the future chairman
of a Fortune 500 company.
302
00:18:07,772 --> 00:18:09,433
I see a famous rap artist.
303
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:17,110
I see the president of
the United States of America.
304
00:18:17,148 --> 00:18:19,082
He's from England.
305
00:18:19,116 --> 00:18:21,084
Being an only child...
306
00:18:21,118 --> 00:18:24,087
educated entirely by
private tutors my whole life...
307
00:18:24,121 --> 00:18:25,884
I'm looking forward
to interacting...
308
00:18:25,923 --> 00:18:27,686
with children
for the first time.
309
00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:29,556
I'm going to teach you...
310
00:18:29,593 --> 00:18:32,426
and I bet you might teach me
a little something, also.
311
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:36,162
Now, those of you from
western Pennsylvania...
312
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,691
probably know my father,
Tony Perkis Senior...
313
00:18:38,736 --> 00:18:40,499
the Lighting Fixture King.
314
00:18:40,538 --> 00:18:42,472
All the lights you'll see
around this camp...
315
00:18:42,506 --> 00:18:44,440
have been donated by him.
316
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:52,349
But I'm gonna do
old Dad one better.
317
00:18:52,383 --> 00:18:54,908
I'm not gonna give you a light.
318
00:18:54,952 --> 00:18:57,921
I'm gonna show you the light!
319
00:18:57,955 --> 00:18:59,889
And to help me do it...
320
00:18:59,924 --> 00:19:02,154
let's meet the new staff
of Camp Hope.
321
00:19:02,193 --> 00:19:04,423
Team Perkis!
322
00:19:04,462 --> 00:19:07,795
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
323
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,626
Ha! Ha! Ha!
324
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,865
All right!
Stand proud, boys!
325
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:17,965
Hey, who wants to be
on TV, huh?
326
00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:19,737
That's Kenny the cameraman.
327
00:19:19,777 --> 00:19:21,301
Hey, there, Kenny!
328
00:19:21,345 --> 00:19:23,245
If all goes
according to plan...
329
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,475
we're gonna turn this summer
into the number-one...
330
00:19:25,516 --> 00:19:27,814
weight-loss infomercial
in the country!
331
00:19:27,852 --> 00:19:29,149
You're kidding.
332
00:19:29,186 --> 00:19:31,381
Kids, at age 12...
333
00:19:31,422 --> 00:19:34,823
I weighed 319 pounds.
334
00:19:34,859 --> 00:19:38,590
I had bad skin,
low self-esteem...
335
00:19:38,629 --> 00:19:40,893
and no self-respect.
336
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:46,062
Now...I eat success
for breakfast!
337
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:49,163
- With skim milk.
- Ugh.
338
00:19:49,206 --> 00:19:50,673
Pounds are gonna fly...
339
00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:54,838
and fat is
outta here, mister!
340
00:19:54,879 --> 00:19:57,746
And we are gonna do it together!
341
00:19:57,782 --> 00:19:59,716
Oh, my God.
342
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:02,810
Ha! Haaa...
343
00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,445
Aah!
344
00:20:06,424 --> 00:20:08,415
I want to go home!
345
00:20:12,897 --> 00:20:15,661
The Bushkins always put me
in the Chipmunk bunk.
346
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:17,132
I've been here for 10 years.
347
00:20:17,168 --> 00:20:18,635
According
to my information...
348
00:20:18,669 --> 00:20:20,466
you have been reassigned
to the big house.
349
00:20:20,504 --> 00:20:22,734
I don't think Tony would mind
if we switched back.
350
00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:26,470
That would make me
feel very uncomfortable.
351
00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:28,774
I'm gonna talk to Tony.
352
00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:32,908
Please do.
Let me get your bag.
353
00:20:36,787 --> 00:20:38,118
Unh!
354
00:20:43,427 --> 00:20:45,156
Good-bye now.
355
00:20:45,196 --> 00:20:47,664
Enjoy your summer.
356
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:52,396
Hello!
357
00:20:52,436 --> 00:20:55,098
I am your new friend
and counselor!
358
00:20:55,139 --> 00:20:59,098
Please enjoy your new
Perkis system uniforms.
359
00:20:59,143 --> 00:21:01,668
Your families will be
billed automatically.
360
00:21:01,712 --> 00:21:03,839
Now, let's play the fun game...
361
00:21:03,881 --> 00:21:05,974
that helps us learn
each other's names.
362
00:21:06,016 --> 00:21:07,813
We already know
each other's names.
363
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:09,614
Silence!
364
00:21:11,989 --> 00:21:15,823
You--please announce
everyone's name.
365
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:20,159
OK. That's Roy.
That's Josh.
366
00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:23,166
Sam. That's Cody.
That's Nicholas.
367
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,792
That's Michael. That's Phil.
368
00:21:24,835 --> 00:21:27,463
And I am Lars.
369
00:21:27,504 --> 00:21:30,940
"Lars"?
What kind of name is that?
370
00:21:30,975 --> 00:21:32,602
Where are you from?
371
00:21:36,914 --> 00:21:38,381
Far away.
372
00:21:39,617 --> 00:21:45,283
I must inform you I have
a severely deviated septum.
373
00:21:45,322 --> 00:21:46,755
When I sleep at night...
374
00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:48,883
I make
a very disturbing sound.
375
00:21:48,926 --> 00:21:51,224
Don't be alarmed.
I am fine.
376
00:21:51,262 --> 00:21:54,197
Now, go to sleep.
377
00:22:14,985 --> 00:22:18,853
Oh, no. I'm dead.
378
00:22:18,889 --> 00:22:20,618
I'm in Heaven.
379
00:22:20,658 --> 00:22:22,853
Roy? Roy.
380
00:22:22,893 --> 00:22:24,690
What's going on?
381
00:22:24,728 --> 00:22:26,525
Wake up, campers.
382
00:22:26,563 --> 00:22:28,428
It's a glorious morning.
383
00:22:28,465 --> 00:22:30,524
Today is Evaluation Day.
384
00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:32,865
The key word here
is "value."
385
00:22:32,903 --> 00:22:34,871
Do you have any? Not yet.
386
00:22:34,905 --> 00:22:36,372
But by the end of the summer...
387
00:22:36,407 --> 00:22:38,967
this camp will be
filled with skinny winners!
388
00:22:39,009 --> 00:22:41,944
"Skinny weiners"?
You hear that, guys?
389
00:22:41,979 --> 00:22:43,378
Do you think I'm crazy?
390
00:22:43,414 --> 00:22:45,882
I'm not crazy.
I just believe in you.
391
00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:49,374
And I believe in you.
Call and order now.
392
00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:53,151
All right,
let's go get our hands dirty.
393
00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:54,657
# Ahh, freak out! #
394
00:22:54,692 --> 00:22:59,894
Glide! Stride!
395
00:22:59,930 --> 00:23:02,160
Get your butt off the ground!
396
00:23:02,199 --> 00:23:05,532
Concentrate!
Find your center.
397
00:23:05,569 --> 00:23:06,763
# Freak out! #
398
00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:12,832
Stride! Glide!
399
00:23:12,876 --> 00:23:17,677
# Listen to us,
I'm sure you'll be amazed #
400
00:23:17,715 --> 00:23:19,706
Stride!
401
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:22,310
I'm feeling skinny, Tony.
402
00:23:22,353 --> 00:23:24,321
So am I!
403
00:23:24,355 --> 00:23:26,653
Aah!
404
00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:28,521
We keep this up,
I see no reason...
405
00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:31,084
why we can't beat Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.
406
00:23:31,128 --> 00:23:33,358
What's an Apache Relay?
407
00:23:33,397 --> 00:23:36,992
It's a dumb inter-camp event
where those jocks at MVP...
408
00:23:37,034 --> 00:23:40,026
come over here and kick
our butts every year.
409
00:23:40,070 --> 00:23:42,595
# Ahh, freak out! #
410
00:23:42,639 --> 00:23:45,870
Only film the ones
that are standing, Kenneth.
411
00:23:45,909 --> 00:23:47,638
Glide!
412
00:23:50,981 --> 00:23:53,882
141 pounds, Gerry Garner.
413
00:23:53,917 --> 00:23:56,044
Weight-loss goal, 17 pounds.
414
00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:58,850
Please step down. Next!
415
00:24:00,824 --> 00:24:05,056
Very fat, I see. 160 pounds.
416
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,154
Weight-loss goal, 23 pounds.
417
00:24:08,799 --> 00:24:11,962
Ooh. Oh, my!
418
00:24:12,002 --> 00:24:14,300
Congratulations, Mr. Simms.
419
00:24:14,338 --> 00:24:16,499
You are the fattest boy in camp.
420
00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:19,338
All right,
let's hear it for Simms.
421
00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:24,341
Get down!
422
00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:25,848
# Ahh, freak out! #
423
00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:28,647
# All that pressure
got you down #
424
00:24:28,685 --> 00:24:30,277
Five and a quarter.
425
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,346
# Has your head
spinning all around #
426
00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:35,051
# Feel the rhythm #
427
00:24:35,092 --> 00:24:37,617
# Chant the rhyme,
come on along #
428
00:24:37,661 --> 00:24:38,855
Big smile.
429
00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:40,454
# And have a real good time #
430
00:24:40,497 --> 00:24:42,863
Turn around to your side.
431
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:44,891
Please put your fat finger down!
432
00:24:44,935 --> 00:24:46,129
# Freak out! #
433
00:24:47,704 --> 00:24:49,365
# Ahh, freak out! #
434
00:24:49,406 --> 00:24:51,670
You've broken my camera!
435
00:24:51,708 --> 00:24:53,676
No, no, no,
you listen to me.
436
00:24:53,710 --> 00:24:56,008
If I don't get a 50,000 unit
pre-sale on this video...
437
00:24:56,046 --> 00:24:57,877
my ass is wheat grass!
438
00:24:57,915 --> 00:24:59,780
Just hang on a second.
439
00:24:59,817 --> 00:25:02,285
Attention campers,
tonight's lecture is...
440
00:25:02,319 --> 00:25:05,914
"Liposuction:
Option or Obsession."
441
00:25:05,956 --> 00:25:09,221
Watch out for Salami Sam!
442
00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:12,592
Whoa!
443
00:25:12,629 --> 00:25:15,120
Hey, don't pee in the water!
444
00:25:15,165 --> 00:25:18,157
Don't drink the water.
He peed in it!
445
00:25:23,574 --> 00:25:26,873
- Nurse Julie!
- Whoa!
446
00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:29,572
Excuse me, Nurse Julie.
447
00:25:29,613 --> 00:25:32,343
I'm having a problem
with my sciatic nerve.
448
00:25:32,382 --> 00:25:35,977
Perhaps later you could give me
a deep-tissue massage.
449
00:25:36,019 --> 00:25:38,146
I'll pencil you in.
450
00:25:38,188 --> 00:25:40,486
Lars, shouldn't you be
watching the kids?
451
00:25:40,524 --> 00:25:43,152
Don't worry, I have them
on the body system.
452
00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:44,490
"Body system"?
453
00:25:44,528 --> 00:25:46,359
Yeah, have a look.
454
00:25:48,599 --> 00:25:52,969
Body!
455
00:25:53,003 --> 00:25:59,538
- Body!
- Body!
456
00:25:59,643 --> 00:26:02,806
"Buddy." Heh heh.
457
00:26:02,846 --> 00:26:06,680
You're obviously
a very powerful man, Lars.
458
00:26:06,717 --> 00:26:08,207
Would you excuse me?
459
00:26:11,288 --> 00:26:14,189
Yes, but with much difficulty!
460
00:26:17,361 --> 00:26:21,493
Buddy!
461
00:26:21,532 --> 00:26:24,330
All right, Gerry, it's your bat.
462
00:26:24,368 --> 00:26:26,302
Nicholas, you know what to do.
463
00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:27,997
Is this kind of like cricket?
464
00:26:28,038 --> 00:26:29,505
It's not kind of like cricket.
465
00:26:29,540 --> 00:26:32,338
It is cricket.
Just with a different name.
466
00:26:32,376 --> 00:26:34,674
MVPers are almost here.
Are the boys ready?
467
00:26:34,711 --> 00:26:37,509
Yeah. Tony, I really need
to talk to you about this.
468
00:26:37,548 --> 00:26:39,345
Our kids will get
their butts handed to them.
469
00:26:39,383 --> 00:26:40,873
Why don't we hold off on this?
470
00:26:40,918 --> 00:26:44,012
Thank you for telling me
how to run my camp.
471
00:26:44,054 --> 00:26:45,521
That I bought.
472
00:26:45,556 --> 00:26:49,287
This won't help those kids
get any better at sports!
473
00:26:49,326 --> 00:26:51,021
We're not teaching them
about sports!
474
00:26:51,061 --> 00:26:52,995
We're teaching them about life!
475
00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:54,793
Life.
476
00:26:59,136 --> 00:27:00,501
Look!
477
00:27:00,537 --> 00:27:03,472
Come on, let's go!
Let's do it!
478
00:27:03,507 --> 00:27:07,204
Go, go, go!
479
00:27:07,244 --> 00:27:09,007
I'm not so good at sports.
480
00:27:09,046 --> 00:27:11,105
Oh, yeah,
and I'm Deion Sanders.
481
00:27:11,148 --> 00:27:13,343
We're dead, guys.
482
00:27:14,851 --> 00:27:16,944
All right, I want to see
some hustle out there!
483
00:27:16,987 --> 00:27:19,319
- Hey, Chris.
- Pat, how you doing?
484
00:27:19,356 --> 00:27:21,153
See you got a promotion.
485
00:27:21,191 --> 00:27:24,319
Yeah. Listen, Chris,
over the years...
486
00:27:24,361 --> 00:27:25,828
you guys have whooped us
pretty good.
487
00:27:25,862 --> 00:27:27,887
How about taking it easy
on my guys this year?
488
00:27:27,931 --> 00:27:30,991
- You know what I mean.
- No, I don't.
489
00:27:31,034 --> 00:27:32,661
MVP campers
are trained to compete...
490
00:27:32,703 --> 00:27:34,330
at the highest level
at all times.
491
00:27:34,371 --> 00:27:36,635
We wouldn't
want to confuse them.
492
00:27:36,673 --> 00:27:38,368
Looking good, Pat.
493
00:27:38,408 --> 00:27:40,205
All right,
let's work it around!
494
00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:41,505
Come on, men!
495
00:27:41,545 --> 00:27:43,274
Let's hit the field
and let the fates decide.
496
00:27:43,313 --> 00:27:44,746
There we go--
good plan, all right!
497
00:27:44,781 --> 00:27:46,510
There you go!
Eye of the tiger!
498
00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:48,017
Did you eat your
Wheaties today, Phillip?
499
00:27:48,051 --> 00:27:49,678
I hope to God
you ate your Wheaties.
500
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,017
Simms, way to hustle.
501
00:27:51,054 --> 00:27:52,544
Like a rocket--
there you go.
502
00:27:53,890 --> 00:27:56,051
Pat Finley, please report...
503
00:27:56,093 --> 00:27:58,857
to the men's toilet
immediately.
504
00:27:58,895 --> 00:28:02,854
Bring a mop
and a plunger...now!
505
00:28:05,969 --> 00:28:08,665
All right,
who's up first? Let's go!
506
00:28:09,906 --> 00:28:11,874
Ohh, my arm!
507
00:28:12,876 --> 00:28:14,173
Oh, my knee!
508
00:28:14,211 --> 00:28:16,179
Ohh, my--
509
00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:24,015
# Even the best gets beat
sometimes, baby #
510
00:28:24,054 --> 00:28:25,646
Come on, lardo!
511
00:28:25,689 --> 00:28:29,216
Tim, take me out, please!
512
00:28:29,259 --> 00:28:32,057
# You got to hang tough #
513
00:28:32,095 --> 00:28:34,393
- Ohh!
- Out!
514
00:28:34,431 --> 00:28:35,921
# You got to hang tough #
515
00:28:35,966 --> 00:28:38,526
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
516
00:28:38,568 --> 00:28:40,559
Beautiful!
517
00:28:40,604 --> 00:28:42,595
Can I go to the nurse?
518
00:28:42,639 --> 00:28:44,869
Yeah, OK, Phillip.
519
00:28:44,908 --> 00:28:48,571
Just wait till
someone comes back, OK?
520
00:28:50,781 --> 00:28:52,248
Ow, my arm.
521
00:28:53,483 --> 00:28:57,214
Cody, what on earth
is going on out there?
522
00:28:57,254 --> 00:28:59,552
We're Perkisizing.
523
00:29:03,593 --> 00:29:04,924
Strike!
524
00:29:04,961 --> 00:29:07,054
Hey, batter, batter, batter.
525
00:29:08,632 --> 00:29:10,964
# Even the experts miss
sometimes #
526
00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:12,559
Strike!
527
00:29:12,602 --> 00:29:14,001
Strike three!
528
00:29:15,572 --> 00:29:16,800
Strike!
529
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,502
Nice swing,
you fat towboat. Ha!
530
00:29:19,543 --> 00:29:21,534
Is that all you've got?
531
00:29:21,578 --> 00:29:22,738
Uhh!
532
00:29:24,114 --> 00:29:25,513
That's foul!
533
00:29:27,718 --> 00:29:30,118
Doh!
534
00:29:31,822 --> 00:29:34,814
All right, next batter.
Let's go, son.
535
00:29:37,127 --> 00:29:38,617
- Uhh!
- Look out!
536
00:29:38,662 --> 00:29:41,130
- Ow!
- Sorry!
537
00:29:41,164 --> 00:29:42,358
You can do it.
538
00:29:42,399 --> 00:29:43,923
Keep your eyes on the bat...
539
00:29:43,967 --> 00:29:45,730
put it in the pocket...
540
00:29:45,769 --> 00:29:46,929
swing harder...
541
00:29:46,970 --> 00:29:48,904
I have no idea
what I'm saying.
542
00:29:49,906 --> 00:29:51,100
Ohh!
543
00:29:51,141 --> 00:29:52,802
You OK?
544
00:29:54,544 --> 00:29:56,978
There goes your perfect game.
Come on!
545
00:29:57,013 --> 00:29:58,947
Calm down.
546
00:29:58,982 --> 00:30:00,779
Let's go!
Take your base, you big baby!
547
00:30:00,817 --> 00:30:01,977
You're holding up the game!
548
00:30:02,018 --> 00:30:05,010
# You got to hang tough #
549
00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:07,546
He ain't hurt.
Suck it up, Gerry!
550
00:30:07,591 --> 00:30:10,151
Aww, look,
the poor baby's gonna cry.
551
00:30:10,193 --> 00:30:12,161
Don't blubber, chubber!
Ha ha.
552
00:30:12,195 --> 00:30:13,389
Uhh!
553
00:30:17,768 --> 00:30:19,702
Don't mess with us.
554
00:30:19,736 --> 00:30:22,269
No, man, that's my bed!
555
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,702
I don't enjoy
this part of the job.
556
00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:32,305
But it's vital to the success
of the Perkis system...
557
00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:35,410
that we remove all temptation...
558
00:30:37,219 --> 00:30:38,413
Ohh!
559
00:30:38,454 --> 00:30:41,981
...from your lives. Here.
560
00:30:42,024 --> 00:30:43,821
Dispose of that, Lars.
561
00:30:45,695 --> 00:30:46,992
What?
562
00:30:47,029 --> 00:30:48,894
I'm still your friend.
563
00:30:48,931 --> 00:30:50,523
Come on, give me a hug.
564
00:30:50,566 --> 00:30:53,499
Hmm?
565
00:30:54,570 --> 00:30:55,832
Hmm.
566
00:30:55,871 --> 00:30:57,566
Come on.
567
00:31:03,012 --> 00:31:05,674
Tony believes in you.
568
00:31:10,353 --> 00:31:12,218
Looks like my man's packing.
569
00:31:20,930 --> 00:31:22,158
Drop back, son.
570
00:31:23,766 --> 00:31:26,894
Oh, Tony.
571
00:31:26,936 --> 00:31:29,336
Sir!
I was a Chipmunk last year.
572
00:31:29,372 --> 00:31:31,932
Look.
573
00:31:31,974 --> 00:31:33,134
Dawson,
what are you doing, man?
574
00:31:34,777 --> 00:31:37,439
Well, well, well,
what have we here?
575
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,914
Who would like to own up
to this treasure trove?
576
00:31:39,949 --> 00:31:42,474
Whose wonderful candies
are these?
577
00:31:42,518 --> 00:31:45,043
Oh, look. A deli meat.
578
00:31:47,356 --> 00:31:48,948
You...come here.
579
00:31:48,991 --> 00:31:51,824
Yes, you. Come here.
580
00:31:51,861 --> 00:31:53,590
Don't be frightened.
Just come here.
581
00:31:53,629 --> 00:31:55,756
- I.D. cards.
- Yes, Tony.
582
00:31:55,798 --> 00:31:57,459
Let's see.
583
00:32:00,970 --> 00:32:06,533
"Garner, Gerald.
141 pounds. Age 11."
584
00:32:06,575 --> 00:32:09,976
You didn't have anything
to do with this, did you?
585
00:32:10,012 --> 00:32:12,572
Well...
586
00:32:12,615 --> 00:32:15,743
But I bet you might be able
to tell me who did?
587
00:32:17,887 --> 00:32:20,287
Anyone who brings candy
into this camp...
588
00:32:20,322 --> 00:32:21,914
is not your friend.
589
00:32:21,957 --> 00:32:25,051
He is a destroyer.
590
00:32:25,094 --> 00:32:28,996
Do you understand that,
Gerald Garner?
591
00:32:29,031 --> 00:32:31,363
Do you?
592
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,336
I'm sure your father...
593
00:32:35,371 --> 00:32:37,862
Maury Garner,
wouldn't want to hear...
594
00:32:37,907 --> 00:32:41,399
that his son is a destroyer,
would he?
595
00:32:41,444 --> 00:32:42,672
I don't think so.
596
00:32:42,712 --> 00:32:45,203
Enough. All right.
597
00:32:45,247 --> 00:32:47,374
I'll tell you
whose candy it is.
598
00:32:47,416 --> 00:32:49,941
- Don't do it, Josh!
- Shh! Let the man speak.
599
00:32:49,985 --> 00:32:52,476
The candy belongs
to Seymour Butts.
600
00:32:52,521 --> 00:32:57,515
Seymour Butts?
Who's Seymour Butts?
601
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,221
Who's Seymour Butts?!
602
00:32:59,261 --> 00:33:01,957
Nobody's seen more butts
than you, Uncle Tony!
603
00:33:07,837 --> 00:33:10,397
You picked the wrong man
to mess with.
604
00:33:10,439 --> 00:33:13,135
Ooh.
605
00:33:13,175 --> 00:33:15,268
I didn't know
I was messing with a man!
606
00:33:18,047 --> 00:33:21,642
Ha ha ha ha ha!
We have a comedian!
607
00:33:24,587 --> 00:33:26,487
Hey, I like comedians.
608
00:33:26,522 --> 00:33:29,423
Perhaps I can book you
on a tour.
609
00:33:29,458 --> 00:33:31,221
You the man, Josh!
610
00:33:42,104 --> 00:33:43,901
Good morning, campers.
611
00:33:43,939 --> 00:33:46,305
Joshua Birnbaum
is no longer with us.
612
00:33:46,342 --> 00:33:47,707
His bed is now available.
613
00:33:47,743 --> 00:33:50,211
Josh is all right,
isn't he?
614
00:33:50,246 --> 00:33:53,807
Man, I hope so...
wherever he is.
615
00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:58,950
Sam, did you hear about Josh?
616
00:33:58,988 --> 00:34:02,446
Sorry to hear about
your little friend Josh.
617
00:34:02,491 --> 00:34:04,891
Hey, Gerry. I found out
the truth about Josh.
618
00:34:04,927 --> 00:34:06,588
I heard that
they kicked him out...
619
00:34:06,629 --> 00:34:09,223
and his parents were so mad,
they wouldn't let him come home.
620
00:34:09,265 --> 00:34:12,393
They left him at a bus stop
all alone at midnight.
621
00:34:12,434 --> 00:34:15,494
Well, he's dead.
622
00:34:15,538 --> 00:34:16,732
He pulled a knife on Tony...
623
00:34:16,772 --> 00:34:19,570
and he's locked up in
a juvenile delinquent center.
624
00:34:19,608 --> 00:34:21,269
Now he's living
in the park in New York...
625
00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,335
with a guy who has no legs.
626
00:34:23,379 --> 00:34:24,539
No way.
627
00:34:24,580 --> 00:34:26,810
I'm just telling you
what I heard.
628
00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:29,950
Dear Grandma...
629
00:34:29,985 --> 00:34:33,921
someone once said
"War is hell."
630
00:34:33,956 --> 00:34:36,424
They've never been
to fat camp.
631
00:34:38,027 --> 00:34:40,154
I knew
the food would be bad...
632
00:34:40,196 --> 00:34:41,788
but even worse...
633
00:34:43,566 --> 00:34:46,262
today he killed the Blob.
634
00:34:46,302 --> 00:34:49,567
As for the go-karts...
635
00:34:49,605 --> 00:34:52,267
may they rest in pieces.
636
00:34:52,308 --> 00:34:53,673
I'm writing you...
637
00:34:53,709 --> 00:34:55,700
because nobody else
seemed to care.
638
00:34:55,744 --> 00:34:58,645
I did not send you
to go-kart camp.
639
00:35:00,816 --> 00:35:02,044
Attention, campers...
640
00:35:02,084 --> 00:35:05,850
lunch has been canceled today
due to lack of hustle.
641
00:35:05,888 --> 00:35:07,219
Deal with it.
642
00:35:07,256 --> 00:35:09,451
Tony Perkis
tries to lead by example.
643
00:35:09,491 --> 00:35:12,460
This is the eighteenth level
of the Perkis system.
644
00:35:12,494 --> 00:35:14,792
You'll all be doing this
by Labor Day!
645
00:35:14,830 --> 00:35:17,162
All right, do it to it, Lars!
646
00:35:17,199 --> 00:35:18,962
It's my honor, Tony!
647
00:35:20,336 --> 00:35:22,998
- Ohh!
- Crazy!
648
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:25,734
But we're afraid to follow.
649
00:35:27,910 --> 00:35:31,971
I know each and every one of you
because I was you.
650
00:35:32,014 --> 00:35:35,882
Once a day, the kids
from Camp MVP drive by...
651
00:35:35,918 --> 00:35:37,249
and make fun of us.
652
00:35:37,286 --> 00:35:41,222
You stink! You stink!
You stink!
653
00:35:42,892 --> 00:35:44,792
Good one!
654
00:35:44,827 --> 00:35:49,127
At night,
they vandalize our camp.
655
00:35:56,939 --> 00:35:59,567
At least Josh got out...
656
00:35:59,608 --> 00:36:02,304
where there's food.
657
00:36:02,344 --> 00:36:05,575
We have to resort
to more desperate measures.
658
00:36:05,614 --> 00:36:07,707
Let's get 'em!
659
00:36:11,053 --> 00:36:12,247
I want meat!
660
00:36:12,288 --> 00:36:14,984
I'll save something for you!
661
00:36:15,024 --> 00:36:17,254
Tony's arranged a dance
with the girls' camp...
662
00:36:17,293 --> 00:36:21,320
so he can humiliate us
into losing weight.
663
00:36:21,363 --> 00:36:23,092
Pray for me, Grandma.
664
00:36:23,132 --> 00:36:24,622
Love, Gerry.
665
00:36:28,037 --> 00:36:31,302
# S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y
night #
666
00:36:31,340 --> 00:36:41,911
# S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y,
night #
667
00:36:41,951 --> 00:36:45,944
# Gonna keep on dancin'
to the rock 'n' roll #
668
00:36:45,988 --> 00:36:47,512
# On Saturday night #
669
00:36:47,556 --> 00:36:49,717
# Saturday night #
670
00:36:49,758 --> 00:36:52,454
# Dancin' to the rhythm
in our heart and soul #
671
00:36:52,494 --> 00:36:55,122
# On Saturday night... #
672
00:36:55,164 --> 00:36:57,394
Let's just get out of here.
673
00:36:57,433 --> 00:37:00,300
We can't, man.
They're guarding the door.
674
00:37:00,336 --> 00:37:02,930
# I--I--I--I got a date #
675
00:37:02,972 --> 00:37:04,462
Rock 'n' roll.
676
00:37:04,506 --> 00:37:06,736
# At the good old
rock 'n' roll road show #
677
00:37:06,775 --> 00:37:10,973
Sugar-free punch.
This bites.
678
00:37:11,013 --> 00:37:14,505
How much more
are they gonna subject us to?
679
00:37:14,550 --> 00:37:16,415
Why don't those guys
just lose weight?
680
00:37:16,452 --> 00:37:19,012
Why don't you show them
how to throw up after meals?
681
00:37:19,054 --> 00:37:20,851
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
682
00:37:20,889 --> 00:37:22,117
You guys, stop it.
683
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,121
Team Jerkis strikes again, huh?
684
00:37:28,597 --> 00:37:31,293
Do you think he could've
possibly planned...
685
00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:33,324
for it to be this bad?
686
00:37:33,369 --> 00:37:34,996
Yes.
687
00:37:35,037 --> 00:37:37,505
I have some friends
in Child Welfare.
688
00:37:37,539 --> 00:37:41,134
Tony must be doing something
illegal around here.
689
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:43,474
Maybe I should give them a call.
690
00:37:43,512 --> 00:37:47,039
- Great.
- This really bites!
691
00:37:47,082 --> 00:37:51,678
Would you like to have
some of this...punch?
692
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,449
Yeah, thanks.
693
00:37:54,823 --> 00:37:57,189
# I believe in miracles #
694
00:37:57,226 --> 00:37:59,524
Did you catch Lars's outfit?
695
00:37:59,561 --> 00:38:00,994
# Since you came along #
696
00:38:01,030 --> 00:38:02,930
# You sexy thing #
697
00:38:08,237 --> 00:38:10,102
Yo, check this out.
698
00:38:12,674 --> 00:38:14,369
Jeez, she's coming over!
699
00:38:14,410 --> 00:38:16,139
I think she's looking at me.
700
00:38:23,385 --> 00:38:26,047
Do you know
where the bathroom is?
701
00:38:34,296 --> 00:38:36,696
Ouch.
702
00:38:36,732 --> 00:38:38,927
That was brutal.
703
00:38:38,967 --> 00:38:41,026
They're young, you know?
704
00:38:41,070 --> 00:38:43,038
Still afraid of girls.
705
00:38:43,072 --> 00:38:44,596
Poor guys.
706
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,632
So, do you want to dance?
707
00:38:47,676 --> 00:38:49,667
Um, uh...
708
00:38:49,711 --> 00:38:53,044
No, I have
a bad...sprained...
709
00:38:53,082 --> 00:38:55,175
Excuse me. Tim?
710
00:38:55,217 --> 00:38:56,445
# You sexy thing #
711
00:38:56,485 --> 00:38:58,680
OK.
712
00:39:01,723 --> 00:39:03,657
This is really boring.
713
00:39:03,692 --> 00:39:07,389
This has got to end.
714
00:39:10,866 --> 00:39:13,426
# Oh-oh-oh, yeah #
715
00:39:13,469 --> 00:39:15,937
Excuse me, guys.
716
00:39:15,971 --> 00:39:18,201
# I'm just a love machine #
717
00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:21,300
# And I won't work
for nobody but you #
718
00:39:21,343 --> 00:39:22,503
# Yeah, baby #
719
00:39:22,544 --> 00:39:25,069
# I'm just a love machine #
720
00:39:27,049 --> 00:39:28,846
Tim's blown a microchip!
721
00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:34,722
Tim! Tim!
What are you doing?
722
00:39:34,756 --> 00:39:36,485
Saving the dance. Come on.
723
00:39:36,525 --> 00:39:39,358
The girls will see
how much fun we're having...
724
00:39:39,394 --> 00:39:41,157
and then everyone will join in!
725
00:39:41,196 --> 00:39:42,424
That's weird, Tim.
726
00:39:42,464 --> 00:39:44,056
Maybe it is,
Reverend No-Fun...
727
00:39:44,099 --> 00:39:45,589
but I am saving the dance.
728
00:39:45,634 --> 00:39:48,660
Stand back and watch the magic!
Whoo!
729
00:39:48,704 --> 00:39:51,867
# I-I-I'm just
a love machine #
730
00:39:51,907 --> 00:39:54,341
# And I won't work
for nobody but you #
731
00:39:54,376 --> 00:39:56,071
# Ohh, yeah #
732
00:39:57,346 --> 00:39:58,608
Yeah!
733
00:39:58,647 --> 00:40:00,706
Oh, yeah!
Get down to the funk!
734
00:40:02,417 --> 00:40:04,977
Don't you see how much fun
we're having?
735
00:40:05,020 --> 00:40:07,147
Join in!
It'll be contagious!
736
00:40:07,189 --> 00:40:08,713
It's called boogie fever!
737
00:40:08,757 --> 00:40:11,123
- Whoo!
- That's it!
738
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,094
Nicholas, dance with me.
739
00:40:13,128 --> 00:40:15,323
Oh, yes!
740
00:40:15,364 --> 00:40:18,265
Shake a leg!
Let's go!
741
00:40:18,300 --> 00:40:21,861
# And I won't work
for nobody but you #
742
00:40:21,904 --> 00:40:25,101
Maybe we should go out there.
It's just dancing.
743
00:40:25,140 --> 00:40:27,665
OK. I guess
I can stand this song.
744
00:40:27,709 --> 00:40:29,233
# Yeah, baby #
745
00:40:29,278 --> 00:40:31,610
# A huggin' kissin' fiend #
746
00:40:33,015 --> 00:40:34,209
Yes.
747
00:40:34,249 --> 00:40:35,841
Yes!
748
00:40:35,884 --> 00:40:37,977
Excuse me.
749
00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:40,250
May I have the pleasure
of this dance?
750
00:40:40,289 --> 00:40:42,223
Yes, you may.
751
00:40:42,257 --> 00:40:45,249
# That you have got to use #
752
00:40:45,294 --> 00:40:48,593
# If you look into my file #
753
00:40:48,630 --> 00:40:51,827
# I am sure
you can find out how #
754
00:40:51,867 --> 00:40:55,359
# To turn me on,
just set my dial #
755
00:40:55,404 --> 00:40:57,838
# And let me love you
for a little while #
756
00:40:57,873 --> 00:41:01,809
# Ooh-ooh, I-I-I'm just
a love machine #
757
00:41:01,843 --> 00:41:04,835
# And I won't work
for nobody but you #
758
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,177
# Ooh, yeah #
759
00:41:06,215 --> 00:41:07,739
# I'm just a love machine #
760
00:41:07,783 --> 00:41:09,546
# Yeah, baby #
761
00:41:09,585 --> 00:41:11,815
# A huggin' kissin' fiend #
762
00:41:11,853 --> 00:41:14,549
# La la-la-la-la #
763
00:41:14,590 --> 00:41:16,285
# La-la-la-la #
764
00:41:16,325 --> 00:41:17,519
# La-la #
765
00:41:17,559 --> 00:41:18,958
# Ooh-ooh-ooh #
766
00:41:18,994 --> 00:41:20,791
# La la-la-la-la #
767
00:41:20,829 --> 00:41:22,194
# La-la-la-la #
768
00:41:26,702 --> 00:41:29,102
All right, dance is over!
769
00:41:29,137 --> 00:41:31,002
Everybody go home!
770
00:41:31,039 --> 00:41:32,529
Thank you for coming,
ladies.
771
00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:33,836
You ruin everything!
772
00:41:33,875 --> 00:41:35,775
Buses are waiting
over there.
773
00:41:35,811 --> 00:41:38,473
Thank you.
I appreciate your efforts.
774
00:41:38,513 --> 00:41:40,572
I know this hasn't been easy.
775
00:41:45,721 --> 00:41:47,211
He was nice, too.
776
00:41:48,557 --> 00:41:51,117
Put the fruit trays away.
777
00:41:51,159 --> 00:41:53,491
The insects will be out soon.
778
00:42:11,580 --> 00:42:12,945
Hey.
779
00:42:12,981 --> 00:42:15,711
How about a ride out of here?
780
00:42:18,987 --> 00:42:21,922
Did this place
always stink this much?
781
00:42:23,792 --> 00:42:25,589
No, Gerry.
782
00:42:25,627 --> 00:42:28,892
This place used to stink
very little.
783
00:42:28,930 --> 00:42:31,899
In fact...
784
00:42:31,933 --> 00:42:33,798
it didn't stink at all.
785
00:42:33,835 --> 00:42:35,826
Well, it does now.
786
00:42:38,073 --> 00:42:43,807
I thought at least I'd be able
to ride the go-karts.
787
00:42:43,845 --> 00:42:46,336
I've never ridden one.
788
00:42:49,351 --> 00:42:50,784
You really like them?
789
00:42:52,621 --> 00:42:55,488
I'm so slow.
790
00:42:55,524 --> 00:42:57,788
It would've been cool
to go fast.
791
00:43:00,696 --> 00:43:03,631
Really fly, you know?
792
00:43:03,665 --> 00:43:06,498
I thought I'd be good at it.
793
00:43:09,204 --> 00:43:10,432
Really?
794
00:43:12,941 --> 00:43:14,272
That's interesting.
795
00:43:16,678 --> 00:43:20,444
Think you'd be able to handle
those hairpin turns?
796
00:43:20,482 --> 00:43:22,473
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah?
797
00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:24,849
Think you'd be able to handle
That powerful engine?
798
00:43:24,886 --> 00:43:26,786
Let's see what you got, Garner.
Come on!
799
00:43:26,822 --> 00:43:28,289
Whoo!
800
00:43:28,323 --> 00:43:30,450
Lean into it!
That's right!
801
00:43:34,696 --> 00:43:37,187
So, how did you learn
how to drive go-karts?
802
00:43:37,232 --> 00:43:38,722
Mowed a lot of lawns, Gerry!
803
00:43:38,767 --> 00:43:41,065
Avoid the obstacles!
Excellent! Sharp turn!
804
00:43:41,103 --> 00:43:42,502
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
805
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,107
Come on, faster!
806
00:43:47,142 --> 00:43:49,804
Faster, faster, yeah.
807
00:43:49,845 --> 00:43:52,279
No problem.
808
00:43:52,314 --> 00:43:54,077
How are you
on your jumps, huh?
809
00:43:54,116 --> 00:43:57,051
- These things jump?
- They fly, buddy!
810
00:43:57,085 --> 00:43:58,950
Watch out for that oil slick!
811
00:43:58,987 --> 00:44:01,285
Aaah!
812
00:44:02,958 --> 00:44:05,620
Aah! Aaaah!
813
00:44:09,331 --> 00:44:11,799
That was fun.
Let's do it again.
814
00:44:13,335 --> 00:44:15,235
- OK.
- Yes!
815
00:44:15,270 --> 00:44:17,636
As soon as I catch my breath.
816
00:44:17,672 --> 00:44:19,139
Maybe next summer.
817
00:44:19,174 --> 00:44:21,165
Come on, Pat.
818
00:44:49,537 --> 00:44:51,528
Josh?
819
00:44:54,209 --> 00:44:57,042
Josh? It's Josh.
820
00:44:57,078 --> 00:44:58,443
- Josh is back!
- Josh!
821
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,505
Josh!
822
00:45:00,548 --> 00:45:03,676
- Man, good to see you!
- I knew you were OK!
823
00:45:03,718 --> 00:45:06,846
Josh, what's wrong?
What'd they do to you?
824
00:45:06,888 --> 00:45:09,789
Josh...speak to me.
825
00:45:09,824 --> 00:45:12,725
Were you in jail?
The nut house?
826
00:45:12,761 --> 00:45:15,457
Josh, it's me--Gerry.
827
00:45:15,497 --> 00:45:19,661
Gerry. Pbbbbt.
828
00:45:19,701 --> 00:45:21,965
Heh heh. Funny, Josh.
829
00:45:22,003 --> 00:45:23,732
What happened, man?
Talk to us.
830
00:45:25,974 --> 00:45:28,841
Josh was bad.
831
00:45:29,878 --> 00:45:31,209
What's he mean?
832
00:45:31,246 --> 00:45:34,443
Oh, man. Oh, jeez.
833
00:45:37,452 --> 00:45:40,148
Josh now good.
834
00:45:40,188 --> 00:45:43,419
Good? What do you mean?
835
00:45:43,458 --> 00:45:47,155
Must be...
good to see my big ass again!
836
00:45:49,431 --> 00:45:51,661
I liked you better
with the lobotomy.
837
00:45:51,700 --> 00:45:53,258
What really happened, man?
838
00:45:53,301 --> 00:45:54,996
Perkis sent me home
without a refund.
839
00:45:55,036 --> 00:45:57,004
However, my dad's a lawyer.
840
00:45:57,105 --> 00:45:59,403
He threatened to sue
and Perkis caved...
841
00:45:59,441 --> 00:46:01,807
like the Buffalo Bills
in the Super Bowl.
842
00:46:08,850 --> 00:46:11,978
Hey, Josh, how long
have you been shaving?
843
00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:13,351
A couple of years.
844
00:46:15,190 --> 00:46:17,454
What was it like on the outside?
845
00:46:18,693 --> 00:46:23,426
It was incredible.
First, I went to the Sizzler!
846
00:46:23,465 --> 00:46:26,366
Got that all-you-can-eat meal.
I closed the place.
847
00:46:26,401 --> 00:46:28,699
How are we fixed
for supplies on this end?
848
00:46:28,737 --> 00:46:30,364
Perkis wiped us out.
849
00:46:30,405 --> 00:46:33,340
There isn't a Gummi Bear
left in this entire camp.
850
00:46:35,877 --> 00:46:38,903
Whew. I am doggin' it
this morning.
851
00:46:41,015 --> 00:46:43,779
Ahh. Come on, T.
852
00:46:43,818 --> 00:46:46,309
Now let's do it up.
853
00:46:46,354 --> 00:46:47,616
Whew!
854
00:46:49,557 --> 00:46:51,548
Start me up.
855
00:46:53,895 --> 00:46:55,294
Come on.
856
00:46:55,330 --> 00:46:57,730
Hurry up, guys.
We don't have all day.
857
00:46:57,766 --> 00:47:00,166
Lift those legs.
858
00:47:01,269 --> 00:47:03,203
Looks pretty sturdy, guys.
859
00:47:06,441 --> 00:47:09,274
- Hurry up, man.
- I'm trying.
860
00:47:10,445 --> 00:47:13,710
Roy, you're up first.
Give it a shot.
861
00:47:13,748 --> 00:47:15,739
Simms,
you're my lookout man.
862
00:47:15,784 --> 00:47:18,753
Give me a boost. Up, up.
863
00:47:18,787 --> 00:47:19,981
Uhh!
864
00:47:21,523 --> 00:47:22,683
Aah!
865
00:47:32,467 --> 00:47:34,162
All right.
Gerry, check this room out.
866
00:47:34,202 --> 00:47:35,726
Roy, Nicholas,
you guys come with me...
867
00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:36,998
and be quiet about it.
868
00:47:37,038 --> 00:47:39,336
That candy's gotta be
in here somewhere.
869
00:47:39,374 --> 00:47:42,434
I'll find the candy.
870
00:47:42,477 --> 00:47:44,570
Where's the sweets?
871
00:47:47,215 --> 00:47:49,547
- Over here.
- What do you got?
872
00:47:55,190 --> 00:47:57,818
Come on, you devil log!
873
00:47:57,859 --> 00:47:59,850
Uhh!
874
00:48:03,398 --> 00:48:04,558
Oh!
875
00:48:04,599 --> 00:48:06,362
- Hurry up.
- All right, all right.
876
00:48:09,270 --> 00:48:10,931
"Perkisize with Tony"?
877
00:48:10,972 --> 00:48:12,872
That's me!
878
00:48:14,142 --> 00:48:15,632
I'm skinny.
879
00:48:19,013 --> 00:48:21,311
- Come on, Josh!
- I'm trying!
880
00:48:21,349 --> 00:48:22,816
If you can't get it,
we need to leave.
881
00:48:24,319 --> 00:48:25,479
Yeah!
882
00:48:27,589 --> 00:48:29,955
Uhh!
883
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,723
Thanks, Captain.
884
00:48:35,830 --> 00:48:38,298
I'm doggin' it, Pat!
885
00:48:40,902 --> 00:48:42,233
Letters?
886
00:48:46,407 --> 00:48:48,671
You guys,
these are our letters home.
887
00:48:48,710 --> 00:48:53,044
No way. This guy is sick!
888
00:48:53,081 --> 00:48:55,447
This is the letter
I wrote my grandma!
889
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,154
Oh!
890
00:49:12,300 --> 00:49:15,098
Pack it up, guys.
Let's move!
891
00:49:15,136 --> 00:49:17,468
Oh, no. We're dead!
892
00:49:23,578 --> 00:49:26,138
He's coming! He's coming!
893
00:49:26,180 --> 00:49:28,114
He's coming!
894
00:49:31,286 --> 00:49:32,651
Roy, the picture!
895
00:49:32,687 --> 00:49:34,518
Josh, the drawers!
896
00:49:40,395 --> 00:49:42,090
Put the whites away, Gerry.
Help me!
897
00:49:42,130 --> 00:49:45,293
- Whites right here.
- Just throw it in!
898
00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:48,359
Oooooo-ahhhh!
899
00:49:50,004 --> 00:49:52,632
Wait a sec!
Where's Nicholas?
900
00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:57,711
You guys go. I'll get him.
901
00:49:57,745 --> 00:49:59,406
Let's move it, Roy.
902
00:49:59,447 --> 00:50:01,972
Nickie! Nicholas!
903
00:50:05,019 --> 00:50:06,782
Mmm!
904
00:50:06,821 --> 00:50:09,255
What are you doing?
He's coming!
905
00:50:13,361 --> 00:50:14,589
Get down.
906
00:50:16,464 --> 00:50:17,726
Gerry, come on!
907
00:50:28,476 --> 00:50:32,105
- Oh, my. I didn't mean to.
- Just go!
908
00:50:33,615 --> 00:50:34,877
Uhh!
909
00:50:46,361 --> 00:50:47,555
Oh!
910
00:50:52,133 --> 00:50:54,431
Uhh!
911
00:50:57,739 --> 00:50:59,400
Scatter!
912
00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:31,998
Coast clear?
913
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:33,530
- That was close.
- Clear!
914
00:51:33,574 --> 00:51:36,099
- Whoo!
- We did it.
915
00:51:36,144 --> 00:51:39,113
You really showed
some guts out there, Cappy.
916
00:51:39,147 --> 00:51:41,672
One of those fish and chips
farts there, Nickie?
917
00:51:41,716 --> 00:51:43,240
I extend my deepest apologies--
918
00:51:43,284 --> 00:51:46,412
Wait! Wrapper.
919
00:51:46,454 --> 00:51:49,582
- What?
- Food wrapper.
920
00:51:49,624 --> 00:51:50,955
Come on!
921
00:51:53,795 --> 00:51:55,990
Who's in there?
What have you got?
922
00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:59,227
Nothing! No one!
Just go away!
923
00:52:03,137 --> 00:52:05,105
Where'd you get that?!
924
00:52:05,139 --> 00:52:06,333
I found it?
925
00:52:06,374 --> 00:52:08,467
You found it.
Come here, you little punk!
926
00:52:08,509 --> 00:52:10,477
- Tell us!
- Yeah, tell us!
927
00:52:10,511 --> 00:52:12,536
All right!
OK! I'll tell you!
928
00:52:12,580 --> 00:52:15,310
You gotta keep it a secret.
929
00:52:19,353 --> 00:52:22,288
# I know a guy
who's tough but sweet #
930
00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:26,724
# He's so fine,
he can't be beat #
931
00:52:28,296 --> 00:52:31,060
# He's got everything
that I desire #
932
00:52:32,734 --> 00:52:35,396
# Sets the summer sun
on fire #
933
00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:39,338
# I want candy #
934
00:52:43,611 --> 00:52:46,273
# Go to see him
when the sun goes down #
935
00:52:48,049 --> 00:52:50,745
# Ain't no finer boy
in town #
936
00:52:51,919 --> 00:52:54,979
# I want candy #
937
00:52:56,824 --> 00:52:59,156
# I want candy #
938
00:53:00,261 --> 00:53:01,489
# Hey! #
939
00:53:04,031 --> 00:53:06,727
OK, everyone.
Here we go.
940
00:53:06,768 --> 00:53:08,702
Hey, I'm not rolling yet.
941
00:53:12,406 --> 00:53:14,374
Are you rolling now, Kenneth?
942
00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,876
- Speed.
- Does that mean rolling?
943
00:53:16,911 --> 00:53:18,936
Yes, it does.
944
00:53:20,181 --> 00:53:21,944
OK, everyone.
Clap your hands!
945
00:53:26,621 --> 00:53:29,988
We've reached the midpoint
of our great experiment.
946
00:53:30,024 --> 00:53:32,083
Parents' Day
is just around the corner...
947
00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,492
and I think they're gonna be
very, very pleased.
948
00:53:34,529 --> 00:53:36,019
Remember to wear
your name tags.
949
00:53:36,063 --> 00:53:39,590
I don't think
they'll recognize you.
950
00:53:39,634 --> 00:53:41,033
Now it's time to see...
951
00:53:41,068 --> 00:53:43,832
what the Perkis system means
in pure loss of poundage.
952
00:53:43,871 --> 00:53:46,863
This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
953
00:53:46,908 --> 00:53:49,308
Phillip Rubinoff,
step up, son.
954
00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:53,242
All right,
let's see how you're doing...
955
00:53:53,281 --> 00:53:55,215
you little whippersnapper.
956
00:53:58,419 --> 00:54:02,185
You're two pounds heavier
than when you came to camp...
957
00:54:02,223 --> 00:54:03,713
but we can fix that.
All we have to do...
958
00:54:03,758 --> 00:54:05,316
is decrease his food intake...
959
00:54:05,359 --> 00:54:07,520
and increase
his metabolic output.
960
00:54:07,562 --> 00:54:09,553
All right!
Step off the scale, son.
961
00:54:09,597 --> 00:54:12,225
Muscle weighs more than fat!
962
00:54:12,266 --> 00:54:14,894
All right! OK!
963
00:54:14,936 --> 00:54:19,032
Gerald Garner.
Step on up, Gerald.
964
00:54:20,441 --> 00:54:23,376
- Good luck.
- Go get 'em, Captain.
965
00:54:24,545 --> 00:54:27,378
Hello, Gerald.
Moment of truth.
966
00:54:30,618 --> 00:54:32,017
Hmm?
967
00:54:39,460 --> 00:54:42,088
You've gained nine pounds.
968
00:54:42,129 --> 00:54:44,620
Have you been cheating?
969
00:54:44,665 --> 00:54:46,394
Turn off the camera.
970
00:54:46,434 --> 00:54:48,402
Let me make something
very clear.
971
00:54:48,436 --> 00:54:50,631
The Perkis system
does not work...
972
00:54:50,671 --> 00:54:54,437
with cheaters
like Gerald Garner, OK?
973
00:54:54,475 --> 00:54:57,876
How can I sell an infomercial
about fat kids...
974
00:54:57,979 --> 00:55:01,471
who can't keep their
piggy little snouts shut?
975
00:55:01,515 --> 00:55:04,313
Who's gonna buy that?
Step off the scale.
976
00:55:07,722 --> 00:55:10,987
OK. Turn on the camera.
977
00:55:11,025 --> 00:55:13,687
Josh Birnbaum, step on up!
978
00:55:13,728 --> 00:55:15,992
Get on the scale, son!
All right!
979
00:55:17,865 --> 00:55:19,025
- Get off the scale.
- OK, then.
980
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:22,058
Turn off the camera.
All right.
981
00:55:22,103 --> 00:55:25,095
All right, fine.
I blame myself.
982
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,468
You know what?
983
00:55:27,508 --> 00:55:30,602
I don't blame myself.
No, not this time, Tony.
984
00:55:30,645 --> 00:55:32,636
Excuse me one second.
985
00:55:37,485 --> 00:55:39,453
How you doin', little Tony?
986
00:55:39,487 --> 00:55:40,784
Bad.
987
00:55:40,821 --> 00:55:42,379
Why do you feel bad?
988
00:55:42,423 --> 00:55:44,152
Because everything's
falling apart...
989
00:55:44,191 --> 00:55:45,886
and I can't do anything
about it.
990
00:55:45,927 --> 00:55:48,361
It's not your fault.
991
00:55:48,396 --> 00:55:50,330
I know it's not my fault,
but whose fault is it...
992
00:55:50,364 --> 00:55:51,626
if it's not my fault?
993
00:55:51,666 --> 00:55:53,964
It's their fault.
That's right.
994
00:55:54,001 --> 00:55:55,559
It's their fault!
995
00:55:55,603 --> 00:55:58,231
You have failed,
and you will pay!
996
00:55:58,272 --> 00:55:59,933
Tomorrow morning at 0600...
997
00:55:59,974 --> 00:56:02,067
everyone who has not met
their weight loss goal...
998
00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:03,838
will join me
on a 20-mile hike.
999
00:56:03,878 --> 00:56:07,041
Pack light, boys.
The party's over.
1000
00:56:07,081 --> 00:56:10,050
Twenty miles? Tony!
1001
00:56:10,084 --> 00:56:12,552
Tony, sir,
with all due respect...
1002
00:56:12,586 --> 00:56:14,884
I don't think it's healthy
to subject the--
1003
00:56:14,922 --> 00:56:16,617
Healthy? Oh, healthy!
1004
00:56:16,657 --> 00:56:19,751
The fat man is gonna tell me
what's healthy!
1005
00:56:19,794 --> 00:56:21,853
I'm just saying that--
1006
00:56:21,896 --> 00:56:23,454
You just--You--I--
1007
00:56:23,497 --> 00:56:25,488
I think if--
To subject the kids--
1008
00:56:25,533 --> 00:56:26,864
Know what? It's funny.
1009
00:56:26,901 --> 00:56:30,564
Nobody really cares
what you have to say.
1010
00:56:30,604 --> 00:56:32,731
You're a negativity-spreader.
1011
00:56:32,773 --> 00:56:35,264
You're contaminating my well,
Finley...
1012
00:56:35,309 --> 00:56:37,573
and I won't have it.
1013
00:56:39,613 --> 00:56:41,945
Let's make the best
of this afternoon.
1014
00:56:46,954 --> 00:56:48,444
It's OK, man.
1015
00:56:48,489 --> 00:56:50,457
Forget it, Pat.
1016
00:57:09,142 --> 00:57:11,372
Hey.
1017
00:57:13,780 --> 00:57:17,113
They're having a barbecue
over at Camp MVP tonight.
1018
00:57:17,150 --> 00:57:19,084
Carolina ribs.
1019
00:57:19,119 --> 00:57:22,782
The pork, not the beef.
1020
00:57:22,822 --> 00:57:25,848
I wonder what it would feel like
to be one of those guys.
1021
00:57:25,892 --> 00:57:29,851
Just once I want to score
a winning touchdown.
1022
00:57:29,896 --> 00:57:31,090
In my entire life...
1023
00:57:31,131 --> 00:57:33,964
I've never scored a point
in anything.
1024
00:57:37,003 --> 00:57:38,630
Gerry.
1025
00:57:41,208 --> 00:57:43,676
I'm just so tired
of being the fat guy.
1026
00:57:45,078 --> 00:57:47,308
I know, Pat...
1027
00:57:47,347 --> 00:57:50,009
but you don't want to be
one of those guys.
1028
00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:53,076
They're jerks.
1029
00:57:54,854 --> 00:57:56,082
Forget them.
1030
00:57:56,122 --> 00:57:57,953
Yeah, forget them.
1031
00:57:57,991 --> 00:58:00,016
Yeah.
1032
00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:01,925
Forget you!
1033
00:58:01,962 --> 00:58:04,954
Keep your washboard stomachs
and your oily muscles!
1034
00:58:04,998 --> 00:58:07,023
I don't want them!
1035
00:58:10,070 --> 00:58:12,129
I'm still tired
of being the fat guy.
1036
00:58:12,172 --> 00:58:13,730
Come on, Pat.
You're cool.
1037
00:58:13,773 --> 00:58:15,206
Everybody knows that.
1038
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:17,733
I feel cool.
1039
00:58:17,777 --> 00:58:21,338
Being humiliated by that psycho
today was pretty cool.
1040
00:58:21,381 --> 00:58:23,042
Oh, yeah.
1041
00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:25,381
I've been
a lot of help to you guys.
1042
00:58:27,220 --> 00:58:30,155
At least you stood up to him.
1043
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:35,861
Nobody else had the guts to.
1044
00:58:37,530 --> 00:58:39,327
We should've backed you up.
1045
00:58:41,034 --> 00:58:44,834
When are we going to start
sticking up for ourselves?
1046
00:58:48,241 --> 00:58:52,371
Now, Gerry.
How about right now?
1047
00:58:52,412 --> 00:58:55,813
Yeah. Let's go get everybody
and kick his ass!
1048
00:58:55,849 --> 00:58:58,511
Yeah! Hold it. Whoa, whoa.
1049
00:58:58,551 --> 00:59:00,178
We got to be smart here.
1050
00:59:00,220 --> 00:59:01,881
There's some proper channels
to go through...
1051
00:59:01,921 --> 00:59:04,651
but you get those guys
through the hike tomorrow.
1052
00:59:04,691 --> 00:59:06,386
I'll do everything
I can back here.
1053
00:59:06,426 --> 00:59:07,984
You be the leader now, Captain.
1054
00:59:08,028 --> 00:59:10,724
He is one, we are many.
1055
00:59:10,764 --> 00:59:12,026
His days are numbered.
1056
00:59:12,065 --> 00:59:14,829
- He's not so tough.
- Yeah!
1057
00:59:18,004 --> 00:59:21,337
This is the day we separate
the men from the boys.
1058
00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:26,211
Hightail it back to camp, Lars.
It'll be a rough one.
1059
00:59:26,246 --> 00:59:29,738
I don't want to see any slackers
or hear any whiners.
1060
00:59:29,783 --> 00:59:33,014
There'll be no food.
This is a cleansing hike.
1061
00:59:33,053 --> 00:59:36,853
Just Father Sky, Mother Earth...
1062
00:59:36,890 --> 00:59:38,915
and your dear old Uncle Tony.
1063
00:59:47,667 --> 00:59:51,364
Use the swatting motion
as an isometric exercise.
1064
00:59:52,839 --> 00:59:55,774
My dogs are killing me.
1065
00:59:55,809 --> 00:59:58,300
Gosh, somebody
going to die today.
1066
00:59:58,345 --> 00:59:59,710
Call 911.
1067
00:59:59,746 --> 01:00:02,044
Did you ever hear
the story of Icarus...
1068
01:00:02,082 --> 01:00:05,210
who continually rolled
the ball up the hill?
1069
01:00:05,251 --> 01:00:07,185
But when he got too close...
1070
01:00:07,220 --> 01:00:10,485
the ball melted
in the heat of the sun.
1071
01:00:10,523 --> 01:00:12,855
You're all like Icarus.
1072
01:00:16,996 --> 01:00:19,487
Aah! Aah!
1073
01:00:26,906 --> 01:00:28,100
- Whoa!
- Aah!
1074
01:00:28,141 --> 01:00:30,109
Thank you, Gerry.
1075
01:00:42,422 --> 01:00:44,822
Uhh!
1076
01:00:46,059 --> 01:00:48,289
Get up, Cody.
1077
01:00:48,328 --> 01:00:51,024
Leave him.
He's a straggler.
1078
01:00:51,064 --> 01:00:54,591
Stragglers must be left
to fend for themselves.
1079
01:00:54,634 --> 01:00:56,124
I was.
1080
01:00:56,169 --> 01:00:58,069
Get up, Cody.
We need to go.
1081
01:01:00,373 --> 01:01:02,102
Did you talk to Child Welfare?
1082
01:01:02,142 --> 01:01:04,975
They'd be glad to
come out and investigate...
1083
01:01:05,011 --> 01:01:07,445
but they can't come
for two weeks.
1084
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,210
That's too long.
What did your lawyer buddy say?
1085
01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:13,014
It's dicey. We don't
have any hard evidence.
1086
01:01:13,052 --> 01:01:15,486
Tony's the hard evidence.
Just look at him.
1087
01:01:15,522 --> 01:01:17,285
That's what the lawyer said.
1088
01:01:17,323 --> 01:01:21,259
- So we have nothing.
- Basically.
1089
01:01:21,294 --> 01:01:24,889
You guys seen Tony?
1090
01:01:24,931 --> 01:01:29,197
That moron owes me 600 bucks.
I'll kill that guy.
1091
01:01:29,235 --> 01:01:32,102
Busting my ass
around here for nothing.
1092
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:42,614
Feel the chi.
1093
01:01:51,224 --> 01:01:53,624
Repulse the monkey.
1094
01:01:58,598 --> 01:02:04,002
Part the wild horse's mane.
1095
01:02:04,037 --> 01:02:05,231
I say we push him.
1096
01:02:05,271 --> 01:02:08,069
No jury in the world
could convict us.
1097
01:02:09,409 --> 01:02:10,842
Strike the chi.
1098
01:02:10,877 --> 01:02:15,007
No. Too messy.
We can do better.
1099
01:02:21,488 --> 01:02:22,921
Great.
1100
01:02:22,956 --> 01:02:25,948
You've all done
much better than expected...
1101
01:02:25,992 --> 01:02:28,085
so I've got
a little surprise for you.
1102
01:02:28,127 --> 01:02:30,459
I've decided to extend
the hike indefinitely.
1103
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,124
- What?
- That's right.
1104
01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:33,359
You won't return to camp...
1105
01:02:33,399 --> 01:02:34,923
Until you're
in the leanest, meanest...
1106
01:02:34,968 --> 01:02:37,459
bestest shape
of your short lives...
1107
01:02:37,504 --> 01:02:39,267
with one goal in mind--
1108
01:02:39,305 --> 01:02:43,571
to defeat Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.
1109
01:02:43,610 --> 01:02:45,874
Quite the ending to
a late-night infomercial, hmm?
1110
01:02:45,912 --> 01:02:48,745
We don't want to play MVP.
We want to have fun.
1111
01:02:48,781 --> 01:02:50,942
Yeah!
1112
01:02:50,984 --> 01:02:53,248
Cody wants to have fun.
1113
01:02:53,286 --> 01:02:56,278
All right, Cody,
let's have some fun.
1114
01:02:59,692 --> 01:03:01,489
Whee-ha!
1115
01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:03,359
- Oh, my--
- Whoa!
1116
01:03:03,396 --> 01:03:05,990
I'm on the top of the world!
1117
01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:10,969
Yeah!
How's this for fun, Cody?
1118
01:03:11,004 --> 01:03:14,132
Sam? Why don't you
come out and join me?
1119
01:03:14,173 --> 01:03:16,266
I'm on my way.
1120
01:03:16,309 --> 01:03:17,970
He's going to get us killed.
1121
01:03:18,011 --> 01:03:20,673
- We got to do something.
- Yeah, but what?
1122
01:03:20,713 --> 01:03:22,613
What's that? I missed it.
1123
01:03:22,649 --> 01:03:28,485
I was just saying
we need a little rest.
1124
01:03:28,521 --> 01:03:30,011
Good idea.
1125
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,956
Let's take an hour
meditation break.
1126
01:03:31,991 --> 01:03:33,925
Then we're going to climb
that 1,000-foot rock face...
1127
01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,588
over there with
our bare hands and feet.
1128
01:03:36,629 --> 01:03:38,597
I know you can do it.
1129
01:03:38,631 --> 01:03:42,089
Until then, observe
the silence of the chi.
1130
01:03:46,039 --> 01:03:48,473
- Shoot.
- Let's do something.
1131
01:03:48,508 --> 01:03:50,135
I don't know.
1132
01:03:50,176 --> 01:03:52,872
Ohmmmm...
1133
01:03:54,447 --> 01:03:56,938
- You're lying.
- I don't believe in you.
1134
01:03:56,983 --> 01:04:00,982
You can't do it!
1135
01:04:01,020 --> 01:04:03,853
Hahh! Cripes.
1136
01:04:03,890 --> 01:04:07,519
What is all the commotion?
1137
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:11,724
We realize we've been lazy,
and we want to change.
1138
01:04:11,764 --> 01:04:14,733
It's time we all got
our acts together, buddy.
1139
01:04:14,767 --> 01:04:17,201
Good! Good!
1140
01:04:17,236 --> 01:04:19,136
It's amazing what
a little food deprivation...
1141
01:04:19,172 --> 01:04:20,969
can do to adjust
your attitude, huh?
1142
01:04:21,007 --> 01:04:22,201
Can I ask you a question?
1143
01:04:22,241 --> 01:04:24,732
Go ahead, Roy. Ask away.
1144
01:04:24,777 --> 01:04:27,644
Is it possible to do a sit-up
if you can't see or hear?
1145
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,513
Yes, Roy, it is possible.
1146
01:04:30,550 --> 01:04:33,713
Gerry says it's impossible.
1147
01:04:33,753 --> 01:04:36,483
Why don't we rock Gerry's world?
1148
01:04:36,522 --> 01:04:38,786
Come on.
1149
01:04:38,825 --> 01:04:41,555
Uncle Tony's going
to do a little demo.
1150
01:04:43,262 --> 01:04:45,958
There are so many myths
about the abdominal muscles.
1151
01:04:45,999 --> 01:04:48,092
I am happy to put
this one to rest.
1152
01:04:48,134 --> 01:04:51,160
See, Gerry? I told you.
1153
01:04:51,204 --> 01:04:53,434
Now, remember, Uncle Tony...
1154
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:54,872
don't get up till
the count of three.
1155
01:04:54,907 --> 01:04:58,502
- I know the rules.
- OK, good.
1156
01:04:58,544 --> 01:05:00,011
All right, everyone.
Ready?
1157
01:05:00,046 --> 01:05:03,174
One, two, three!
1158
01:05:03,216 --> 01:05:04,547
Kiss my butt!
1159
01:05:04,584 --> 01:05:08,918
Oh, my! Oh, my! Haah!
1160
01:05:08,955 --> 01:05:10,445
Uhh! Uhh!
1161
01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:12,424
Pretty impressive stuff,
huh, Tony?
1162
01:05:12,458 --> 01:05:14,085
You disgust me.
1163
01:05:14,127 --> 01:05:15,788
Come here!
1164
01:05:15,828 --> 01:05:18,319
Come here!
Get out of my way!
1165
01:05:18,364 --> 01:05:19,524
What are we waiting for?
1166
01:05:19,565 --> 01:05:20,964
Come on!
1167
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,695
Run, Josh!
1168
01:05:25,238 --> 01:05:27,365
Halt!
1169
01:05:27,407 --> 01:05:30,069
Run! Run! Go!
1170
01:05:30,109 --> 01:05:33,135
Ow! Ooh! Hamstring!
1171
01:05:33,179 --> 01:05:35,477
Well, congratulations.
1172
01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:37,449
You've just joined
the 76% of Americans...
1173
01:05:37,483 --> 01:05:39,417
who forget to stretch
before physical activity.
1174
01:05:39,452 --> 01:05:41,443
Aah!
1175
01:05:46,459 --> 01:05:48,051
Let me see.
1176
01:05:48,094 --> 01:05:50,119
Ohh...
1177
01:05:50,163 --> 01:05:53,724
Uhh. Uhh.
1178
01:05:53,766 --> 01:05:55,791
Gentlemen...
1179
01:05:55,835 --> 01:06:00,329
we've reached
the point of no return.
1180
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:01,931
Yeah!
1181
01:06:06,778 --> 01:06:08,939
The only problem is,
Kenny wants a lot of money.
1182
01:06:08,981 --> 01:06:10,243
How much?
1183
01:06:10,282 --> 01:06:12,273
Much more than
they pay camp counselors.
1184
01:06:12,317 --> 01:06:13,750
Great. Why don't
we have a bake sale?
1185
01:06:13,785 --> 01:06:16,049
What are you doing back
already?
1186
01:06:16,088 --> 01:06:18,249
Where's the other guys?
You OK?
1187
01:06:18,290 --> 01:06:19,621
I'm fine, I'm fine.
1188
01:06:19,658 --> 01:06:23,458
Good. We're still working on
a plan to get rid of Tony.
1189
01:06:23,495 --> 01:06:24,689
Wait till
you hear what we got.
1190
01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:25,924
That's great, guys...
1191
01:06:25,964 --> 01:06:28,364
but we came up
with a plan of our own.
1192
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,698
That is so cute.
1193
01:06:30,736 --> 01:06:33,796
Whatever. Come with me.
1194
01:06:40,579 --> 01:06:42,740
I have got a bad feeling.
1195
01:06:42,781 --> 01:06:45,579
Just try to stay open-minded.
1196
01:06:49,254 --> 01:06:52,519
- Password, please?
- Yankee doodles.
1197
01:06:57,129 --> 01:06:58,892
Oh, good God.
1198
01:06:58,931 --> 01:07:01,456
Ooh! Uhh!
1199
01:07:01,500 --> 01:07:03,127
This is unbelievable.
1200
01:07:03,168 --> 01:07:05,033
So, what was your plan?
1201
01:07:05,070 --> 01:07:07,095
What do you think
you're doing?
1202
01:07:07,139 --> 01:07:08,731
Taking over the camp.
1203
01:07:08,774 --> 01:07:11,470
- Oh, good God!
- This is insane!
1204
01:07:11,510 --> 01:07:12,875
This is great.
1205
01:07:12,911 --> 01:07:14,879
Pat, you know what?
He snapped.
1206
01:07:14,913 --> 01:07:16,540
He was swinging
from a branch.
1207
01:07:16,582 --> 01:07:19,278
He was going to make us
climb a mountain.
1208
01:07:19,318 --> 01:07:21,115
Guys, you can't kidnap
the owner of a camp.
1209
01:07:21,153 --> 01:07:23,314
They give people
the chair for this.
1210
01:07:23,355 --> 01:07:25,220
It was self-defense.
You got to believe us.
1211
01:07:25,257 --> 01:07:26,849
I believe you.
1212
01:07:26,892 --> 01:07:29,360
This ends right now.
1213
01:07:29,394 --> 01:07:31,862
Get out of my way, Simms.
1214
01:07:31,897 --> 01:07:34,127
Yankee doodles.
1215
01:07:35,867 --> 01:07:38,927
Tony, I'm so sorry.
I'll untie you right away.
1216
01:07:38,971 --> 01:07:41,838
Uhh! Thank you.
1217
01:07:41,873 --> 01:07:45,240
When this is all over,
I'm going to deliver...
1218
01:07:45,277 --> 01:07:46,767
one well-placed kick
to your groin...
1219
01:07:46,812 --> 01:07:48,404
that'll stop you from
ever having children...
1220
01:07:48,447 --> 01:07:49,778
you worthless piece of--
1221
01:07:49,815 --> 01:07:53,717
Are these ropes tight enough?
We can get more.
1222
01:07:53,752 --> 01:07:57,518
I was going to help you out,
but now...
1223
01:07:57,556 --> 01:07:59,353
I have to take you down.
1224
01:07:59,391 --> 01:08:01,382
- All right!
- Yeah! Go!
1225
01:08:01,426 --> 01:08:04,520
I always wanted
to say that to somebody.
1226
01:08:04,563 --> 01:08:07,327
Guys, it looks like
we have to play this out.
1227
01:08:07,366 --> 01:08:09,926
I think there might be
a way out of this...
1228
01:08:09,968 --> 01:08:11,230
but if we're going
to succeed...
1229
01:08:11,269 --> 01:08:13,999
we have to stick together
and work as a team.
1230
01:08:14,039 --> 01:08:15,700
Uhh!
1231
01:08:17,643 --> 01:08:19,474
I'll see you all in hell!
1232
01:08:19,511 --> 01:08:21,308
Oh!
1233
01:08:21,346 --> 01:08:23,576
With all the bears
in these woods, Lars...
1234
01:08:23,615 --> 01:08:27,073
I doubt that you'll be
seeing much of anything.
1235
01:08:27,119 --> 01:08:31,112
- Bears love honey.
- Honey?
1236
01:08:31,156 --> 01:08:33,624
Chipmunks, move out.
1237
01:08:33,659 --> 01:08:36,924
Lars, have a nice summer.
1238
01:08:36,962 --> 01:08:40,329
- I didn't mean it.
- Heh heh heh!
1239
01:08:40,365 --> 01:08:41,889
I'm sorry. I...
1240
01:08:41,933 --> 01:08:44,060
Ow!
1241
01:08:44,102 --> 01:08:46,070
Aah! I hate you!
1242
01:08:46,104 --> 01:08:48,197
You're awful!
1243
01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:50,367
Please help me!
1244
01:08:50,409 --> 01:08:51,967
I have candy.
1245
01:08:52,010 --> 01:08:54,274
Candy.
1246
01:08:54,312 --> 01:08:57,543
Good boy.
You've come to free me.
1247
01:08:57,582 --> 01:08:59,106
Ohh!
1248
01:09:02,354 --> 01:09:03,719
Think we're going
a little too far here, guys?
1249
01:09:03,755 --> 01:09:07,282
No, man. There are no bears
in these woods.
1250
01:09:07,325 --> 01:09:11,193
Aah! Aah!
1251
01:09:11,229 --> 01:09:13,527
No bears, huh?
1252
01:09:13,565 --> 01:09:16,591
Aah!
1253
01:09:20,038 --> 01:09:21,596
Help me!
1254
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:25,167
Don't you have any decency?
Help me!
1255
01:09:29,481 --> 01:09:30,880
Look at the little deer.
1256
01:09:30,916 --> 01:09:34,511
Mr. Deer,
I am a vegetarian.
1257
01:10:01,179 --> 01:10:05,047
Yeah!
1258
01:10:08,820 --> 01:10:10,287
Wake up, Tony.
1259
01:10:10,322 --> 01:10:12,381
Tonight is Evaluation Night.
1260
01:10:12,424 --> 01:10:14,517
The key word here is "value."
1261
01:10:14,559 --> 01:10:16,220
Do you have any?
1262
01:10:16,261 --> 01:10:18,559
No way,
because you're a loser--
1263
01:10:18,597 --> 01:10:20,792
a loser
with a skinny wiener.
1264
01:10:20,832 --> 01:10:24,063
So, relax...
and repeat after me.
1265
01:10:24,102 --> 01:10:25,899
I am a loser.
1266
01:10:25,937 --> 01:10:27,666
I smell.
1267
01:10:27,706 --> 01:10:30,106
I have no friends.
1268
01:10:30,142 --> 01:10:31,336
Now breathe and relax.
1269
01:10:31,376 --> 01:10:34,812
Please, shut that off!
1270
01:10:38,016 --> 01:10:39,449
Ohh!
1271
01:10:39,484 --> 01:10:42,009
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
1272
01:10:42,053 --> 01:10:44,112
Wow!
1273
01:10:56,601 --> 01:10:57,795
All right!
1274
01:11:04,242 --> 01:11:06,267
Thank you very much
for stopping on by.
1275
01:11:06,311 --> 01:11:08,802
Pass it on by.
I'll take one of those.
1276
01:11:08,847 --> 01:11:11,315
Party! Yeah!
1277
01:11:11,349 --> 01:11:15,217
Oh, my gosh. Is that Tim?
1278
01:11:15,253 --> 01:11:17,084
Whoo-hoo!
1279
01:11:18,990 --> 01:11:21,720
He looks like a human s'more.
1280
01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:25,753
Look at that food.
I should get down there.
1281
01:11:25,797 --> 01:11:28,095
No, Pat, don't go.
1282
01:11:30,969 --> 01:11:33,335
Stay here with me.
1283
01:11:34,372 --> 01:11:37,830
- Aah!
- Shut up.
1284
01:11:37,876 --> 01:11:40,674
Hey, Lars, guess what?
We're in charge now.
1285
01:11:40,712 --> 01:11:42,145
Know what we found out?
1286
01:11:42,180 --> 01:11:45,741
If you don't have a job,
you get deported...
1287
01:11:45,784 --> 01:11:48,446
so, Lars, buddy, pal...
1288
01:11:48,486 --> 01:11:51,387
you with us,
or are you against us?
1289
01:11:51,423 --> 01:11:54,620
I am with you.
1290
01:11:54,659 --> 01:11:56,559
I love you.
1291
01:12:01,733 --> 01:12:03,963
I thought they were
supposed to be on diets.
1292
01:12:04,002 --> 01:12:05,162
I think they're cheating.
1293
01:12:36,868 --> 01:12:40,861
Good God!
Can anybody hear me?
1294
01:13:10,835 --> 01:13:13,827
Excuse me.
1295
01:13:29,654 --> 01:13:32,555
Time to wake up, children.
1296
01:13:32,590 --> 01:13:33,955
Good morning!
1297
01:13:33,992 --> 01:13:36,756
Huh? Huh?
1298
01:13:39,831 --> 01:13:42,459
Who wants to tell us
the lesson we learned here?
1299
01:13:42,500 --> 01:13:45,060
Don't put Twinkies
on your pizza.
1300
01:13:45,103 --> 01:13:47,901
No. I think
what we learned here...
1301
01:13:47,939 --> 01:13:51,431
is something about
personal responsibility.
1302
01:13:51,476 --> 01:13:53,467
From now on, each of us...
1303
01:13:53,511 --> 01:13:55,945
is in charge of
their own diets.
1304
01:13:55,981 --> 01:13:58,211
We have to learn
some self-control.
1305
01:13:58,249 --> 01:14:01,412
Isn't that right, Tim?
1306
01:14:02,620 --> 01:14:05,487
You got it.
I'm ashamed of all of you.
1307
01:14:05,523 --> 01:14:07,115
Come on!
1308
01:14:07,158 --> 01:14:09,718
We got to get healthy
for ourselves.
1309
01:14:09,761 --> 01:14:11,729
If we'd start
respecting ourselves...
1310
01:14:11,763 --> 01:14:13,424
no one can touch us.
1311
01:14:13,465 --> 01:14:16,127
That's right.
You heard me.
1312
01:14:16,167 --> 01:14:17,600
We're as good as anybody...
1313
01:14:17,635 --> 01:14:20,160
and it's about time
we started acting that way.
1314
01:14:20,205 --> 01:14:21,365
We got to take control
of ourselves...
1315
01:14:21,406 --> 01:14:23,431
before we take control
of this camp.
1316
01:14:23,475 --> 01:14:24,942
Who's with me?
1317
01:14:24,976 --> 01:14:27,137
Who wants to do
this thing right?
1318
01:14:28,179 --> 01:14:29,578
It's up to you.
1319
01:14:37,322 --> 01:14:38,983
I will.
1320
01:14:55,807 --> 01:14:58,469
- Everybody ready?
- Yeah!
1321
01:14:58,510 --> 01:15:01,035
OK, let's go!
1322
01:15:07,018 --> 01:15:10,112
Is a tomato
a fruit or a vegetable?
1323
01:15:10,155 --> 01:15:12,123
- Fruit.
- That's right.
1324
01:15:12,157 --> 01:15:16,457
Today, we're going to make
pasta primavera.
1325
01:15:41,553 --> 01:15:43,919
Hey, how you doing?
1326
01:15:48,626 --> 01:15:51,595
- There he is.
- Hey, I'm over here!
1327
01:15:51,629 --> 01:15:54,393
Gerry! Oh!
1328
01:15:54,432 --> 01:15:58,493
Hey, big guy. Look at you.
1329
01:15:58,536 --> 01:16:01,004
- You look the same.
- I feel good.
1330
01:16:01,039 --> 01:16:04,372
That's important, too.
1331
01:16:04,409 --> 01:16:05,808
So?
1332
01:16:05,844 --> 01:16:08,642
Come with me.
I'll take you around.
1333
01:16:08,680 --> 01:16:11,672
- He hasn't lost a pound.
- Oh, Maury.
1334
01:16:17,956 --> 01:16:20,891
Don't be frightened, Nicholas.
1335
01:16:20,925 --> 01:16:22,916
I'm a beaten man.
1336
01:16:44,382 --> 01:16:46,577
Good afternoon, everyone.
1337
01:16:46,618 --> 01:16:49,314
Good afternoon.
I'm Pat Finley.
1338
01:16:49,354 --> 01:16:50,753
You probably recognize me...
1339
01:16:50,788 --> 01:16:52,949
from my work in the Camp Hope
promotional video.
1340
01:16:52,991 --> 01:16:56,757
Right now, I'd like to play
another video...
1341
01:16:56,794 --> 01:16:59,228
to show you people
just what it's been like...
1342
01:16:59,264 --> 01:17:01,061
so far this summer.
1343
01:17:01,099 --> 01:17:03,499
This'll be great.
1344
01:17:03,534 --> 01:17:06,094
Enjoy.
1345
01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:13,302
Aah!
1346
01:17:14,779 --> 01:17:17,304
Die! Yaah!
1347
01:17:19,117 --> 01:17:20,550
As a health care
professional...
1348
01:17:20,585 --> 01:17:22,416
I would like to take
this opportunity...
1349
01:17:22,453 --> 01:17:24,580
to warn you that
Tony Perkis's program...
1350
01:17:24,622 --> 01:17:28,991
is not only ineffective,
it's downright dangerous.
1351
01:17:31,696 --> 01:17:36,097
# Everywhere I go,
I'm late #
1352
01:17:36,134 --> 01:17:37,829
My grandma
runs faster than you...
1353
01:17:37,869 --> 01:17:39,962
and she's only got one leg!
1354
01:17:40,004 --> 01:17:41,835
Say it one more time,
because it'll multiply.
1355
01:17:41,873 --> 01:17:44,205
- 40 push-ups?
- 60! Down! Now!
1356
01:17:44,242 --> 01:17:45,709
- 80!
- I can't--
1357
01:17:45,743 --> 01:17:48,473
He is strict.
1358
01:18:00,391 --> 01:18:02,859
Kiss the ground, joker boy.
1359
01:18:02,894 --> 01:18:05,863
Would you get
your foot off my back?
1360
01:18:05,897 --> 01:18:08,161
Now you see what
we've been dealing with.
1361
01:18:08,199 --> 01:18:11,134
Why didn't you tell us
about this?
1362
01:18:25,550 --> 01:18:27,575
You've been
a good guard, Nicholas--
1363
01:18:27,618 --> 01:18:29,643
strong and fair.
1364
01:18:29,687 --> 01:18:33,987
Your queen would be proud.
1365
01:18:34,025 --> 01:18:39,122
I'd like to reward you
with this chocolate kiss.
1366
01:18:45,703 --> 01:18:47,227
Oh!
1367
01:18:47,271 --> 01:18:48,602
Yeah!
1368
01:18:48,639 --> 01:18:51,699
Where have you been
all my life?
1369
01:18:51,743 --> 01:18:53,711
I'm going to love this.
1370
01:18:53,745 --> 01:18:55,872
Oh, my God.
I'm going to be sick.
1371
01:18:55,913 --> 01:18:57,073
Nice touch.
1372
01:18:57,115 --> 01:18:59,379
I thought
I'd spice it up a little.
1373
01:18:59,417 --> 01:19:02,352
It gives you
that warm feeling inside?
1374
01:19:02,387 --> 01:19:04,184
Throw it over.
1375
01:19:04,222 --> 01:19:06,417
But it would smush.
1376
01:19:06,457 --> 01:19:08,618
That wouldn't be good.
1377
01:19:10,762 --> 01:19:13,629
No dinner, no lunch,
no breakfast.
1378
01:19:13,664 --> 01:19:16,064
How's that grab you?
1379
01:19:16,100 --> 01:19:18,898
Take the candy.
1380
01:19:20,838 --> 01:19:23,898
Nice and chocolatey.
1381
01:19:23,941 --> 01:19:26,876
Chocolicious.
1382
01:19:26,911 --> 01:19:29,539
Whoops.
1383
01:19:29,580 --> 01:19:31,275
Butterfingers.
1384
01:19:35,253 --> 01:19:36,515
Aah!
1385
01:19:36,554 --> 01:19:38,181
Well, well...
1386
01:19:38,222 --> 01:19:41,157
looks like London bridge
is falling down, huh?
1387
01:19:41,192 --> 01:19:42,420
Help!
1388
01:19:42,460 --> 01:19:43,688
How do you like the food
here at Camp Hope?
1389
01:19:43,728 --> 01:19:44,922
It's good stuff.
1390
01:19:44,962 --> 01:19:46,987
Wait till I finish
asking you the question.
1391
01:19:47,031 --> 01:19:48,555
Just say,
"I love the food."
1392
01:19:48,599 --> 01:19:50,226
- I love the food.
- Good. Here we go.
1393
01:19:50,268 --> 01:19:51,860
So, Josh, how do you
like the food here?
1394
01:19:51,903 --> 01:19:53,097
I love the food.
1395
01:19:53,137 --> 01:19:54,798
Wait until
I finish the question!
1396
01:19:54,839 --> 01:19:56,932
Damn! Forget it!
1397
01:19:56,974 --> 01:19:59,101
If he isn't stopped
right away...
1398
01:19:59,143 --> 01:20:03,170
somebody's child--
maybe yours--
1399
01:20:03,214 --> 01:20:05,148
will be hurt.
1400
01:20:05,183 --> 01:20:07,583
Ho ho ho ho ho! Yes!
1401
01:20:07,618 --> 01:20:11,850
That was wonderful!
1402
01:20:11,889 --> 01:20:13,823
Whoo!
1403
01:20:13,858 --> 01:20:16,691
So entertaining.
1404
01:20:16,727 --> 01:20:20,663
The cinematography,
the editing techniques.
1405
01:20:20,698 --> 01:20:22,495
Though I must say...
1406
01:20:22,533 --> 01:20:27,470
the villain
was a bit over the top.
1407
01:20:30,842 --> 01:20:34,505
Ouch.
Everyone having fun?
1408
01:20:34,545 --> 01:20:36,604
Parents!
1409
01:20:36,647 --> 01:20:40,481
You're the cause of
all my--their problems!
1410
01:20:40,518 --> 01:20:41,951
He escaped!
1411
01:20:41,986 --> 01:20:44,045
You little
British butterball...
1412
01:20:44,088 --> 01:20:45,953
I ought to show you what
it means to be an American!
1413
01:20:45,990 --> 01:20:47,981
Now you realize what
we've been dealing with.
1414
01:20:48,025 --> 01:20:49,458
He has to be stopped!
1415
01:20:49,494 --> 01:20:52,588
Ho ho! Stop me, hmm?
1416
01:20:55,933 --> 01:20:59,596
Uhh! I'm too strong!
1417
01:20:59,637 --> 01:21:01,798
Uhh! Ah!
1418
01:21:01,839 --> 01:21:05,070
I'm too motivated!
1419
01:21:05,109 --> 01:21:08,408
And you're too weak!
1420
01:21:08,446 --> 01:21:11,574
Aah! Uhh!
1421
01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:13,914
Especially you,
Garner, Gerald...
1422
01:21:13,951 --> 01:21:17,387
age 11, 141 pounds!
1423
01:21:17,421 --> 01:21:19,514
So, come on!
You want a piece of me, Pops?
1424
01:21:19,557 --> 01:21:22,355
No one's taking
this camp away from me!
1425
01:21:22,393 --> 01:21:25,157
Ooh!
1426
01:21:25,196 --> 01:21:28,996
I'm afraid you're wrong.
You are through here.
1427
01:21:29,033 --> 01:21:31,900
- Are you OK?
- I'm all right.
1428
01:21:31,936 --> 01:21:33,528
You have to take a stand.
1429
01:21:33,571 --> 01:21:36,438
Uhh! Guhh!
1430
01:21:37,675 --> 01:21:38,869
Oh!
1431
01:21:40,411 --> 01:21:44,643
Uhh! Ahh!
1432
01:21:53,190 --> 01:21:56,057
- We did it, Roy.
- Yes, we did.
1433
01:21:58,396 --> 01:22:01,559
Sorry to ask you to deal
with this, Mr. Perkis.
1434
01:22:01,599 --> 01:22:03,362
That kid was always
a little off.
1435
01:22:03,401 --> 01:22:04,698
My parents didn't hug me.
1436
01:22:04,735 --> 01:22:07,203
You don't see me freaking out
like a little baby.
1437
01:22:09,006 --> 01:22:10,974
I'm going to take a bath
on this.
1438
01:22:11,008 --> 01:22:12,441
Listen, everybody...
1439
01:22:12,476 --> 01:22:14,842
don't freak out,
don't call your lawyers.
1440
01:22:14,879 --> 01:22:16,141
We'll get you your money back.
1441
01:22:16,180 --> 01:22:17,909
We make nice,
everybody's happy,
1442
01:22:17,949 --> 01:22:19,780
But for now,
we close down the camp.
1443
01:22:19,817 --> 01:22:21,250
Everybody go home.
1444
01:22:21,285 --> 01:22:22,980
Have a nice summer.
I got to get out of here.
1445
01:22:23,020 --> 01:22:26,649
I'd love to chat.
Good luck to all of you.
1446
01:22:26,691 --> 01:22:28,659
- Say something.
- Mr. Perkis, sir.
1447
01:22:28,693 --> 01:22:30,058
Papa.
1448
01:22:30,094 --> 01:22:33,723
Papa, we don't want to go home.
1449
01:22:33,764 --> 01:22:34,958
Wait a minute.
1450
01:22:34,999 --> 01:22:36,398
If you kids
want to stick it out...
1451
01:22:36,434 --> 01:22:38,561
all I need to do is
put an adult in charge--
1452
01:22:38,603 --> 01:22:43,063
put it on the responsibility
clause for the insurance.
1453
01:22:43,107 --> 01:22:45,439
Who's been here the longest?
1454
01:22:45,476 --> 01:22:49,139
- Four years.
- One year.
1455
01:22:49,180 --> 01:22:50,374
- Two.
- Four years.
1456
01:22:50,414 --> 01:22:51,972
- Three.
- Five.
1457
01:22:52,016 --> 01:22:54,416
Eighteen years.
1458
01:22:54,452 --> 01:22:56,181
Eighteen?
1459
01:22:56,220 --> 01:22:58,415
- Whoa.
- 18 years.
1460
01:22:58,456 --> 01:23:00,788
What the hell have you
been doing with yourself?
1461
01:23:00,825 --> 01:23:03,487
Are you up to it?
1462
01:23:05,763 --> 01:23:07,754
Pat. Pat.
1463
01:23:07,798 --> 01:23:11,199
Pat! Pat! Pat!
1464
01:23:18,075 --> 01:23:19,269
I'll sure try.
1465
01:23:19,310 --> 01:23:21,471
Hooray.
Ooh, yeah, OK.
1466
01:23:21,512 --> 01:23:22,877
Congratulations.
Here you go.
1467
01:23:22,913 --> 01:23:26,007
Do the hokey-pokey
and knock yourself out.
1468
01:23:30,755 --> 01:23:31,915
All right, Pat.
1469
01:23:31,956 --> 01:23:33,753
Enjoy yourselves.
You deserve it.
1470
01:23:34,859 --> 01:23:36,121
I'm proud of you.
1471
01:23:41,699 --> 01:23:43,724
Dear Grandma...
1472
01:23:43,767 --> 01:23:45,735
things have really
turned around at camp.
1473
01:23:45,836 --> 01:23:48,202
We're finally having
a great time.
1474
01:23:48,238 --> 01:23:50,399
Uhh!
1475
01:23:50,441 --> 01:23:52,636
Whoo!
1476
01:23:52,676 --> 01:23:55,907
Yee-haw!
1477
01:23:58,349 --> 01:24:01,250
We're in control,
and we like it.
1478
01:24:01,285 --> 01:24:04,083
We're putting things back
to the way they were...
1479
01:24:04,121 --> 01:24:06,555
and no one is going
to mess it up again.
1480
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:12,720
Hey, Chris.
1481
01:24:12,763 --> 01:24:15,163
Where's the motor, man?
1482
01:24:15,199 --> 01:24:16,791
With Pat in charge...
1483
01:24:16,834 --> 01:24:19,098
we are united,
and we are strong.
1484
01:24:19,136 --> 01:24:20,364
Can I get that wrench,
Phillip?
1485
01:24:20,404 --> 01:24:22,804
Thank you.
Josh, how we doing?
1486
01:24:22,840 --> 01:24:25,001
Got a bent axle over here.
1487
01:24:25,042 --> 01:24:26,509
We can do anything...
1488
01:24:26,543 --> 01:24:30,604
even take on Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.
1489
01:24:30,647 --> 01:24:33,582
And we can win--I think.
1490
01:24:33,617 --> 01:24:35,380
Welcome, everybody...
1491
01:24:35,419 --> 01:24:38,320
to the 33rd Annual
Apache Relay games--
1492
01:24:38,355 --> 01:24:40,721
the favorites, Camp MVP...
1493
01:24:40,758 --> 01:24:43,659
versus the perennial losers,
Camp Hope.
1494
01:24:43,694 --> 01:24:46,527
This relay today
will consist of three parts--
1495
01:24:46,563 --> 01:24:49,930
an obstacle course,
the Hall of Intelligence...
1496
01:24:49,967 --> 01:24:51,958
and the Grand Prix.
1497
01:24:52,002 --> 01:24:54,300
May the best team win.
1498
01:24:54,338 --> 01:24:56,397
All right, Cody,
give it your best shot.
1499
01:24:56,440 --> 01:24:58,135
Put a little pizzazz in it.
1500
01:24:58,175 --> 01:25:01,144
On your mark, get set...
1501
01:25:11,155 --> 01:25:12,986
Get up, get up!
1502
01:25:17,094 --> 01:25:18,493
Uhh!
1503
01:25:18,529 --> 01:25:20,588
Looks like
an MVP romp again, folks.
1504
01:25:22,633 --> 01:25:23,895
Uhh!
1505
01:25:25,335 --> 01:25:28,463
Go, go, go!
1506
01:25:46,990 --> 01:25:48,582
Here, take it!
1507
01:25:48,625 --> 01:25:54,586
Whoa!
1508
01:25:54,631 --> 01:25:57,498
Keep going.
You got it, man. Yeah.
1509
01:25:57,534 --> 01:25:59,695
It's just a couple more.
1510
01:25:59,736 --> 01:26:01,101
Come on.
1511
01:26:02,673 --> 01:26:04,140
Up. All right, here.
1512
01:26:04,174 --> 01:26:06,369
OK. All right. Ready?
1513
01:26:06,410 --> 01:26:07,775
Uhh!
1514
01:26:13,717 --> 01:26:15,014
Yeah!
1515
01:26:17,387 --> 01:26:20,845
- Aww.
- Give me the balloon.
1516
01:26:20,891 --> 01:26:25,624
All right.
You can do it. It's easy.
1517
01:26:25,662 --> 01:26:27,994
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1518
01:26:34,371 --> 01:26:35,736
I know you thought
we'd get creamed...
1519
01:26:35,772 --> 01:26:39,868
but I don't think
you'll get creamed riding this.
1520
01:26:39,910 --> 01:26:41,468
Whoa!
1521
01:26:41,512 --> 01:26:43,776
Did a little work on the motor.
1522
01:26:43,814 --> 01:26:44,974
Whoa.
1523
01:26:45,015 --> 01:26:47,540
You better
take that feather off.
1524
01:26:47,584 --> 01:26:50,747
I don't think
it'll fit under this.
1525
01:26:53,090 --> 01:26:55,684
Camp MVP is
setting a course record...
1526
01:26:55,726 --> 01:26:58,160
as they move into
the Hall of Intelligence.
1527
01:27:05,402 --> 01:27:06,835
Solve the equation.
1528
01:27:06,870 --> 01:27:08,394
- 55.
- No.
1529
01:27:08,438 --> 01:27:10,338
- 17?
- Nein.
1530
01:27:10,374 --> 01:27:11,534
Nine is the answer?
1531
01:27:11,575 --> 01:27:13,600
"Nein" is German for "no."
1532
01:27:17,214 --> 01:27:19,079
Artist and title, please.
1533
01:27:19,116 --> 01:27:20,515
Cher?
1534
01:27:22,186 --> 01:27:23,414
No.
1535
01:27:23,453 --> 01:27:26,013
Solve the equation.
1536
01:27:27,824 --> 01:27:29,018
Eleven.
1537
01:27:29,059 --> 01:27:32,085
Wunderbar. You may advance.
1538
01:27:32,129 --> 01:27:35,360
You must now name
five American vice presidents.
1539
01:27:35,399 --> 01:27:37,458
Quayle.
1540
01:27:37,501 --> 01:27:39,628
- George Washington.
- No.
1541
01:27:39,670 --> 01:27:43,071
- Quayle.
- You said that already.
1542
01:27:43,106 --> 01:27:44,971
Cher?
1543
01:27:45,008 --> 01:27:46,771
Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa."
1544
01:27:46,810 --> 01:27:49,574
Van Gogh's
"Houses at Auvers."
1545
01:27:49,613 --> 01:27:53,208
Botticelli's "La Primavera."
1546
01:27:53,250 --> 01:27:54,512
Over at
the Hall of Intelligence...
1547
01:27:54,551 --> 01:27:56,917
Camp Hope has almost
caught up to Camp MVP.
1548
01:27:56,954 --> 01:27:58,285
Can you believe it?
1549
01:27:58,322 --> 01:28:00,222
This is going to be
quite some finish, folks.
1550
01:28:00,257 --> 01:28:02,122
Right is gas,
left is brake.
1551
01:28:03,961 --> 01:28:06,293
- Alexander Haig?
- Sorry.
1552
01:28:06,330 --> 01:28:09,527
- Caught you.
- Shut up.
1553
01:28:09,566 --> 01:28:12,626
Nicholas, name five
American vice presidents.
1554
01:28:12,669 --> 01:28:15,467
Levi P. Morton,
John Calhoun...
1555
01:28:15,505 --> 01:28:18,235
Hubert Humphrey,
Spiro Agnew...
1556
01:28:18,275 --> 01:28:19,799
Walter Mondale.
1557
01:28:19,843 --> 01:28:22,004
That's perfect.
You may advance.
1558
01:28:22,045 --> 01:28:25,242
You Americans
have no sense of history.
1559
01:28:25,282 --> 01:28:27,614
Home stretch! Go, go!
1560
01:28:27,651 --> 01:28:29,676
Accelerate into the turns.
Don't forget.
1561
01:28:29,720 --> 01:28:31,017
Use your weight.
Lean into them.
1562
01:28:31,054 --> 01:28:33,989
Be careful.
This guy drives dirty.
1563
01:28:34,024 --> 01:28:36,322
- Thanks, Pat.
- Go get 'em.
1564
01:28:40,497 --> 01:28:42,829
Nicholas!
1565
01:28:44,968 --> 01:28:46,765
Come on!
1566
01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:51,972
I don't want to put
any pressure on you, Big Al...
1567
01:28:52,009 --> 01:28:55,342
but we have never lost
this race, all right?
1568
01:28:57,247 --> 01:28:59,408
Don't forget your wings, man.
1569
01:29:02,019 --> 01:29:04,078
Take 'em down, Captain.
1570
01:29:39,756 --> 01:29:42,020
Yeah! Ah ha!
1571
01:29:46,129 --> 01:29:48,893
Hey! Back off!
1572
01:29:50,434 --> 01:29:52,334
Whoa!
1573
01:29:52,369 --> 01:29:54,303
Ha ha!
So long, sucker!
1574
01:29:54,338 --> 01:29:56,329
Whoa! Aah!
1575
01:29:58,608 --> 01:30:00,439
Uhh!
1576
01:30:02,446 --> 01:30:04,778
Oh, shoot!
1577
01:30:04,815 --> 01:30:06,612
Come on!
1578
01:30:18,562 --> 01:30:20,587
Oh, no! Oh!
1579
01:30:34,511 --> 01:30:37,275
Go, Gerry.
They're coming!
1580
01:30:37,314 --> 01:30:39,111
All right, all right.
1581
01:30:41,852 --> 01:30:43,717
Go! Go, Gerry!
1582
01:30:48,959 --> 01:30:51,427
Hey! Come on!
1583
01:30:51,461 --> 01:30:55,056
- Come on!
- No!
1584
01:31:05,442 --> 01:31:06,670
Unh!
1585
01:31:09,479 --> 01:31:10,673
He's still behind!
1586
01:31:12,983 --> 01:31:14,450
He can't pass!
1587
01:31:17,487 --> 01:31:18,954
Come on! Unh!
1588
01:31:18,989 --> 01:31:20,752
No way!
1589
01:31:20,791 --> 01:31:23,021
Come on, Captain!
Come on, baby!
1590
01:31:39,943 --> 01:31:41,137
Ohhh.
1591
01:31:46,550 --> 01:31:50,543
Oooooooh!
1592
01:31:55,492 --> 01:31:57,687
Aah! Yeah!
1593
01:31:57,727 --> 01:31:59,024
Oh!
1594
01:32:08,705 --> 01:32:10,730
All right, Gerry!
1595
01:32:10,774 --> 01:32:14,369
- I flew, Pat!
- I know!
1596
01:32:14,411 --> 01:32:15,935
Hip-hip hooray!
1597
01:32:15,979 --> 01:32:19,642
Hip-hip hooray!
Hip-hip hooray!
1598
01:32:25,889 --> 01:32:28,289
- Yeah!
- All right!
1599
01:32:30,961 --> 01:32:34,829
You'll be happy to know that
we're filing a formal protest.
1600
01:32:34,865 --> 01:32:36,332
That cup belongs to us.
1601
01:32:36,366 --> 01:32:39,028
Oh, the cup?
This is what you want?
1602
01:32:39,069 --> 01:32:41,333
This is what your life
is all about, Chris?
1603
01:32:41,371 --> 01:32:44,238
I tell you what,
I'll airmail it...
1604
01:32:44,274 --> 01:32:45,639
back to camp for you,
all right?
1605
01:32:45,675 --> 01:32:47,836
Take care of that, Simms?
1606
01:32:55,118 --> 01:32:57,450
You're crazy!
1607
01:32:57,487 --> 01:32:58,715
You bet I'm crazy.
1608
01:32:58,755 --> 01:33:00,723
Come on! Get that cup!
1609
01:33:00,757 --> 01:33:03,248
- Oh!
- Crazy about my gal.
1610
01:33:03,293 --> 01:33:06,387
Whoo!
1611
01:33:14,004 --> 01:33:15,369
Whoo!
1612
01:33:19,476 --> 01:33:21,068
Hey, Pat...
1613
01:33:21,111 --> 01:33:23,443
thanks for the best
damn summer of my life!
1614
01:33:23,480 --> 01:33:25,243
Same here, Captain.
1615
01:33:26,683 --> 01:33:28,173
Whoo!
1616
01:33:36,759 --> 01:33:37,919
All right, guys!
1617
01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:40,485
Let's sing the inspiring
Camp Hope song!
1618
01:33:41,797 --> 01:33:43,560
Aw, come on! Here we go!
1619
01:33:43,599 --> 01:33:46,329
# Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
we sing to thee #
1620
01:33:46,369 --> 01:33:47,529
Come on, guys, sing!
1621
01:33:47,570 --> 01:33:49,162
# The greatest camp
in history #
1622
01:33:49,205 --> 01:33:50,365
# A place for boys-- #
1623
01:33:50,406 --> 01:33:52,772
Come on, Tim,
that song's boring.
1624
01:33:52,808 --> 01:33:53,968
Sing something cool.
1625
01:33:54,010 --> 01:33:55,773
You want to hear
something cool?
1626
01:33:55,811 --> 01:33:58,075
OK, cats, let's rock it.
1627
01:34:01,951 --> 01:34:04,181
Yow...huh!
1628
01:34:06,055 --> 01:34:08,615
# Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
the place for boys #
1629
01:34:08,658 --> 01:34:10,319
# We got no girls,
we got no toys #
1630
01:34:10,359 --> 01:34:12,623
# The bunks are hard,
the cabins hot #
1631
01:34:12,662 --> 01:34:14,789
# Last night,
a snake crawled in my cot #
1632
01:34:14,830 --> 01:34:16,991
# Make sure
the shower door is shut #
1633
01:34:17,033 --> 01:34:18,933
# Or else the 'squitos
bite your butt #
1634
01:34:18,968 --> 01:34:21,129
# And don't swim past
when your friends make #
1635
01:34:21,170 --> 01:34:22,933
# A warm spot in the lake #
1636
01:34:22,972 --> 01:34:25,133
All right, guys,
you're getting the hang of it!
1637
01:34:25,174 --> 01:34:26,436
Come on!
1638
01:34:26,475 --> 01:34:28,443
# Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
please give us food #
1639
01:34:28,477 --> 01:34:30,502
# We're starving in
a rotten mood #
1640
01:34:30,546 --> 01:34:32,571
# But still we're hanging
with our friends #
1641
01:34:32,615 --> 01:34:35,413
# So we hope
summer never ends #
1642
01:34:35,451 --> 01:34:38,750
All right!
Sounds good! Here we go!
1643
01:34:38,788 --> 01:34:42,588
# Here's a tip
that you should try #
1644
01:34:42,625 --> 01:34:46,755
# If people laugh
when you walk by #
1645
01:34:46,796 --> 01:34:50,926
# Just walk right up
and proudly state #
1646
01:34:50,966 --> 01:34:55,130
# Hey, back off, Jack,
I'm a heavyweight #
1647
01:34:55,171 --> 01:34:58,607
# Back off, Jack,
we're all heavyweights #
1648
01:34:58,641 --> 01:35:01,007
All right, guys!
Hey, look who's here!
1649
01:35:01,043 --> 01:35:03,170
# My name is Pat,
And he's our pal #
1650
01:35:03,212 --> 01:35:05,271
# And I'm Nurse Julie,
She's Pat's gal #
1651
01:35:05,314 --> 01:35:07,578
# You know I'm Tim,
And we're his band #
1652
01:35:07,616 --> 01:35:10,084
# And I am
Kenny the cameraman #
1653
01:35:10,119 --> 01:35:12,053
Stop!
Stop that stupid song!
1654
01:35:12,088 --> 01:35:13,350
You call that music?
1655
01:35:13,389 --> 01:35:16,950
# I know you think
you're all rock stars #
1656
01:35:16,992 --> 01:35:20,086
# But here's
an oompah song from Lars #
1657
01:35:20,129 --> 01:35:22,825
# About my favorite
Camp Hope job #
1658
01:35:22,865 --> 01:35:25,527
# The day that
I harpooned the Blob #
1659
01:35:25,568 --> 01:35:28,264
# And just
to make it very clear #
1660
01:35:28,304 --> 01:35:31,171
# I was not scared of
that big deer #
1661
01:35:31,207 --> 01:35:33,835
# And although
Tony is not here #
1662
01:35:33,876 --> 01:35:36,310
# I still enjoy Camp Hope #
1663
01:35:36,345 --> 01:35:38,438
Thanks, Lars.
That's great.
1664
01:35:38,481 --> 01:35:40,415
All right, guys,
you ready to take it home?
1665
01:35:40,449 --> 01:35:42,314
- Yeah!
- Let's rock!
1666
01:35:42,351 --> 01:35:44,785
# Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
we all had fun #
1667
01:35:44,820 --> 01:35:47,186
# And now our time
here's almost done #
1668
01:35:47,223 --> 01:35:49,623
# But we'll come back
again next year #
1669
01:35:49,658 --> 01:35:52,126
# Because our friends
will all be here #
1670
01:35:52,161 --> 01:35:54,391
# And here's a tip
that you should try #
1671
01:35:54,430 --> 01:35:56,796
# If people laugh
when you walk by #
1672
01:35:56,832 --> 01:35:59,266
# Just walk right up
and proudly state #
1673
01:35:59,301 --> 01:36:01,394
# Back off, Jack #
1674
01:36:01,437 --> 01:36:06,534
# I'm a heavyweight! #
1675
01:36:06,575 --> 01:36:09,942
All right, guys,
that sounds great, yeah!
1676
01:36:09,979 --> 01:36:11,742
We got a bunch of
heavyweights here?
1677
01:36:11,781 --> 01:36:13,146
Are you guys heavyweights?
1678
01:36:13,182 --> 01:36:16,049
I said, are you
guys heavyweights?
1679
01:36:16,085 --> 01:36:17,279
Gerry,
are you a heavyweight?
1680
01:36:17,319 --> 01:36:18,946
- Yeah!
- All right, Gerry!
1681
01:36:18,988 --> 01:36:20,979
Now the rest of you guys!
Are you all heavyweights?
1682
01:36:21,023 --> 01:36:22,183
Yeah!
1683
01:36:22,224 --> 01:36:24,454
Counselors,
are we all heavyweights?
1684
01:36:24,493 --> 01:36:25,960
Yeah!
We're heavyweights!
1685
01:36:25,995 --> 01:36:28,020
- Pat, are you heavyweight?
- I'm a heavyweight!
1686
01:36:28,063 --> 01:36:29,530
Nurse Julie,
are you a heavyweight?
1687
01:36:29,565 --> 01:36:30,827
I'm a heavyweight!
1688
01:36:30,866 --> 01:36:33,892
- Lars, are you a heavyweight?
- I'm a heavyweight, Tim!
1689
01:36:33,936 --> 01:36:35,995
Kenny the cameraman,
are you a heavyweight?
1690
01:36:36,038 --> 01:36:39,565
- Yes, I'm a heavyweight.
- We're all heavyweights!
1691
01:36:39,608 --> 01:36:42,577
So, Lars, you think
you're coming back next year?
1692
01:36:42,611 --> 01:36:44,806
I don't know, Tim.
I live very far away.
1693
01:36:44,847 --> 01:36:46,280
We'll fly you in.
1694
01:36:46,315 --> 01:36:48,510
Kenny the cameraman,
think you can make it back?
1695
01:36:48,551 --> 01:36:50,246
I might be able
to work something out.
1696
01:36:50,286 --> 01:36:52,516
That'd be very nice.
1697
01:36:52,555 --> 01:36:54,648
What do you say, guys?
Does Camp Hope rule?
1698
01:36:56,158 --> 01:36:58,456
Pat, did you hurt
yourself on the Blob?
1699
01:36:58,494 --> 01:37:00,587
Yeah.
I tore my rotator cuff.
1700
01:37:04,900 --> 01:37:06,834
Good afternoon.
1701
01:37:06,869 --> 01:37:08,063
I know what you're thinking.
1702
01:37:08,103 --> 01:37:10,731
"Another guy hawking healing
crystals door-to-door."
1703
01:37:10,773 --> 01:37:12,263
I don't like
to call them crystals.
1704
01:37:12,308 --> 01:37:14,833
I like to call them
"transformational facilitators."
1705
01:37:14,877 --> 01:37:16,572
Perhaps--
109087
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.