Original subtitles

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

we come now to one of the rarer delights

to be found in our study of English

literature Hamlet's soliloquy as

envisioned by Shakespeare Denham Reid

[Music]

ham to be or not to denim the word ham

is not to be read neither as part of the

soliloquy nor as a self condemnation of

your own performance it is an

abbreviation of Hamlet the character who

is speaking again yes sir

to be or not to be that is the question

whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer

the stings of slings and arrows of

outrageous fortune or to take arms

against a sea of troubles and by

opposing end them to die and them to die

enough ladies and gentlemen I identified

Hamlet's soliloquy as one of the rarer

delights to be found in our study of

English literature I cannot permit you

to leave this classroom with denhams

unthinking desecration echoing in your

ears I shall attempt to convey to you

the torment that existed in Hamlet's

mind when he said to be or not to be

that is the question whether tis nobler

in the mind to suffer the slings and

arrows of outrageous fortune or to take

arms against a sea of troubles and by

opposing end

[Music]

Oh Lionheart we salute you may your

luncheon remain forever in your throat

still boning for that thesis on Greek

legend I think our challenge the

existence of homer as an individual what

will be your contention no one man could

write that much trash aren't you being a

bit rough on the poor fella

no more than you would be Dan several

people have mentioned lately that you're

becoming a sort of Professor Sayer jr.

I'm delighted to hear that are you

actually

soon you'll be teaching and it's a very

unusual person who can be happy as a

teacher why you can't deny we're

peculiar are your digestive pills oh

thanks

hello yes who shall I say is calling

it's for you miss Carol me me she

calling me they prefer it even nod to me

hello Carol

the girls have asked me to invite you to

the try you house tonight for something

very important I'm sorry but I'm working

on a thesis what's it all about

all I can tell you is that there is

something very special we have to show

you and you must be here by 8 o'clock

that's all I can tell you except it'll

be a night you'll never forget fine

remember no later than 8:00 bye

Oh Carol I'm so glad you come why did

you want me you'll see hi Carol now

we've been waiting for you here you are

rock the center our guest of honor this

your idea of a joke having me drop work

and walk halfway across town to watch

this this idiot's delight

it's no joke this is something the whole

campus is arguing about and you're here

to settle that argument once and for all

hey Hank turn on the set why all the

mystery you'll see you'll see now settle

down everybody

whoo nectar what you need is brew nectar

the luscious Royal nectar just savor the

flavor you do yourself a favor if you

drink through nectar morning I didn't

it's fortified with vitamins to give you

energy it's guaranteed to magnetize your

personality nectar whoo nectar what you

need is brew nectar delicious Royal

nectar of the prune skull if you wanna

be

better get directors

[Music]

hello I'm Gloria Marlowe the one you're

about to see opposite Bruce Blair just

think our pictures were made more than

20 years ago and their stories are still

as romantic and timeless is these exotic

perfumes here before me our secret my

five sins double passion

well more about the product later

tonight I give you Bruce Blair the

original dreamboat in for the return of

El Toro

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I knew it I told you so Oh learn how it

is dreamboat Carol I'm in here hello ooh

dreamboat is it a person you want no

you're mistaken there's no dreamboat

here you must have a wrong number

hello double passion no I don't have any

for sale I don't even know what it is

what do you mean our secret who is this

hello hello

Carol Carol open the door

dream open this door open it immediately

hell you're behaving like an asterick

'el chapo something is wrong let's

discuss it calmly and intelligently if

something is wrong uh your own daughter

had to find out your horrible secret

from almost total strangers my my

horrible secret you know what I'm

talking about

you you Bruce Blair oh so you know

how did you find out you're on

television tonight at the trying new

house television that's impossible I've

been here Olli it doesn't matter where

you are it's your past I'm talking about

they were showing an old movie no yes

the room was jammed with idiots howling

of a shameful way you were making love

to Gloria Marlowe it was ghastly this is

vicious those pictures were maybe before

you were born it's like excuse me a man

from his grave dad why didn't you tell

me because I chose to forget that I've

ever been in Hollywood after all it's

not like a criminal trying to conceal

his record imagine the shock to me here

I'd always thought of you as a dignified

intellectual person I've done everything

I can to be like you then Oh wants to

find out the truth you don't know the

truth I was a teacher before I became an

actor the same as I am now the Hollywood

interval happened when I when I met

Gloria Marlowe you're married to mother

then of course not

anyway against my better judgment I

consented to be Miss Marlowe's leading

man were you in love with her

the only woman I ever loved from the day

I met her till the day she died with

your mother I'm sorry dear but how can

we face people now that they know that

Gloria Marlowe called you dreamboat so

that's the reason for that was college

she's advertising perfumes with terrible

names like double passion and my five

sins five the way the kids made fun of

you will never live this down never my

dear I admit this is shocking news to me

but it's only momentary all right there

they are so the students will make their

S&I little jokes about Bruce Blair and

then they'll forget it do you think so I

know so you make it seem so simple

that's only one of the duties of a

competent father good night idea good

night

Bruce Blair dream

we don't want to be narrow-minded about

your sudden er notoriety but naturally

we must preserve the dignity of the

school I understand doctor the students

are a bit out of hand at the moment but

I'm sure they'll settle down not as long

as you're appearing on their television

screens as Bruce Blair the dreamboat

ladies and gentlemen in as much as

spring vacation starts tomorrow I'll be

able to go to New York and secure an

injunction against the televising of

these films do you expect the television

industry to assume responsibility for

your past indiscretions mr. Cerra if you

should decide to submit your resignation

we shall accept it

reluctantly of course I have no

intention of resigning I have been

completely happy in my work devoted to

the ideals of Education and well I I

guess some of the Ivy on these walls has

attached itself to me with the board

choose to reach a decision now Oh would

it prefer to receive my considered

recommendation at a later date I think

we should leave it up to you Mathilda in

that case I think we may consider the

meeting adjourned

please wait in my office mr. Sayre yes

[Applause]

well this is an unpleasant myth mr.

Sayre you're putting it mildly laughter

how does my must make I realize how

importantly this may affect your future

as a teacher this is the only work that

means anything to me any consideration

you give will be deeply appreciated I

wonder you know thought I've liked you

ever since you first came here I've

liked you very much thank you doctor

I've admired you too you're a very

brilliant person I never occurred to you

that I'm also a woman yes right now as a

matter of fact I'll tell you a secret

Tony

there are many years ago I was a devoted

fan of Bruce Blair's I hate it Gloria

Marlowe every time he took her in his

arms I adored his handsomeness his

devil-may-care attitude its wickedness

and when you came here I never actually

realized who you were

except I felt a strange attraction to

you the same as I'd felt for Bruce Blair

now finally I know why

dr. github is coming you rang for me

doctor

yes the doctor rang I had a thinking

spell would you bring me some water

please

oh of course

as I said before thanks for everything

[Music]

some fighter you are you've been dozing

ever since we started I want to be in

good shape tomorrow morning our time is

short

turn off the road at that diner we'll

have coffee I don't want you to fall

asleep at the wheel

[Music]

hi whoa Haley Oh hamburger and a cup of

coffee the coffee for me only for sure

phenomenon television it encourages

people who dwell under the same roof to

ignore each other completely

[Applause]

Oh No

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

but uninhibited :

you do win don't you we're nauseating

regularity

[Music]

[Music]

you

[Music]

why did you do that young lady as a

picture of this so-called cafe I have

the right to take my coffee with or

without television you sure those

pictures were meant to be shown to the

public times and moral standards have

changed my child

wait just the way she reacted to your

kiss I felt as if I were peeping through

a keyhole naturally those pictures were

designed to capitalize on a vicarious

cravings a middle-aged glandular cases

dad yes

did you realize at the time what a bad

actor you were my child at the time

those films were made I was recognized

as one of the few real talents in

Hollywood furthermore I ranked second in

a nationwide popularity poll who was

first I'm stupid police dog I forgotten

his name but I'll have you know that my

salary was three times more than his

it's where you're going

[Music]

good morning I'd like to speak to mr.

Levitt please I'm afraid he's not in yet

who's calling

fountain Sayer and the elevator operator

told me arrived at a little after 9:00

what is the nature of your business I'm

here to see mr. levad about Bruce Blair

you're Bruce Blair kindly announce me to

mr. Levesque Lee's yes sir mr. Bruce

Blair does mr. Ledet there the man

outside said his Bruce Blair Bruce Bruce

Blair come in no Bruce I've been looking

for you all over I thought you were dead

that's my intention you hear all this

talk it's about you Bruce you're hotter

than a firecracker the name is Thornton

Sayer oh yeah slip of the lip this is my

daughter Carol where are Carol you must

be pretty proud of the old man are Carol

yes he's a great educator oh right you

are if you don't make love like Bruce

Blair these days you're a dead duck I

can't we have a little privacy oh sure

sure I can office full of it come on in

please stop handling me in that familiar

manner ha ha looks great dony Dorothy I

mean when we get you fixed up a little

you can see it's Bruce Blair all right

honey if you know it my dear lady

your rudeness is exceeded only by that

of your employer I am what I am and I'm

not submitting to any fixing up we were

only talking the way everybody always

talks in show business Bruce I mean

Thornton you'll remember sit down right

over there Carol Bruce over here face ha

ha you have you been in New York before

Carol no I haven't uh Dorothy send in

bill Ainsley nice boy bill the women

love it and what could I possibly have

to do with me hey you want to talk

business don't you we don't want to bore

your daughter over here Joey

yeah bill I got some nice work for you

want you to show miss Blair I mean mr.

Ron time I'd be pleased to this is

entirely mr. Levitz idea you know this

is bill I heard outside I'm very happy

to know you mr. Blair

young man the name is Sara furthermore

you don't know me and when you do you

won't be particularly happy yes sir

shall we go miss Sara perhaps you'll

leave me here dead no thanks dear I can

handle this

we're staying at the Savoy Armas young

man I should expect my daughter to be

returned at a reasonable hour yes sir

see you later dear no no boys like you

step right out of a grave wait'll I tell

you what's happened

well like their 20000 fan letters I got

stacked up in my filing room why haven't

you burned them

it's a wonder that some of them haven't

burnt themselves up you know this is the

craziest thing that's ever happened in

all the years I've been in show business

the correct word is catastrophic Thanks

who saw fit to resurrect those old films

I did I bought the negatives for peanuts

I was strictly out of sentiment for you

and glory of course and I dubbed in the

music and the sound effects then this

perfume company came along looking for a

way to sell their junk on television

Wham

look at these things I have on the desk

do you realize you can have your pick as

a guest on any of the live television

shows four top hi don't we endorsements

that you can collect that vitamins

bourbon canned oysters underwear I go

and this will really kill you after all

these years three nibbles from Hollywood

mr. Lovett apparently you have no idea

why I came here dreamboat Dorothy told

me about it I couldn't believe my ears

but you look wonderful

now Blair if we can just get another one

yeah this time with your arms around her

and gentlemen I was known as the

impression that I am in a private office

booze fanatic darling this is wonderful

publicity I'm in conference with mr.

Levitin I insist upon privacy well I'll

see you later boys will straighten this

thing out where did they come from

good newspaper men are always where

there's a good story what do you think

of our pal here crawling out of his hole

well I think it's wonderful did you ever

think this would happen to us again

washed up for so many years and then all

at once we're right back on top again I

was telling you my ball the office

waiting for it it's nothing compared to

what we can do together

of course I've done very well

but people do think of us as a team and

all show business is open to us again oh

darling thanks for coming back

mr. Levitt may I tell you once and for

all why I'm here

I have come to stop the showing of those

incredible pictures but you so

ghoulishly plucked from their grave

you've come to stop them you mean after

all they've done for glory and now what

they can do for you you want to stop

them the sooner the better

where have you been all of these years

in a cage

you wouldn't understand but I have been

engaged in a profession who I actually

am permitted to use my mind I am a

teacher of lesson and English literature

at under Hill College you mean you quit

the big dough in Hollywood to go back to

that no wonder we couldn't find him

who'd ever think you'd be so stupid I

told you you wouldn't understand

at least you can appreciate but the

showing of those old pictures makes it

impossible for me to maintain a

dignified and respected position as an

educator wait just a minute this is my

television show you're talking about

what makes you think you can stop it

a fair knowledge of my rights as a

citizen and an individual reviving these

films is a rank invasion of my privacy

you gotta think of Gloria

after all she gave you your first break

in Hollywood how well I remember now I

was lecturing at the University of

Southern California minding my own

business

and she saw me on the campus before I

realized what was happening I was in

full makeup wearing a pair of silk

tights and brandishing a rubber sword at

a former real estate agent from

Cleveland I have thought of you often

and bitterly why you ungrateful world

mr. Levitt I've you withdraw those

pictures from television oh I'll secure

an injunction just a minute it's not as

easy as all that

this contracts I signed you gotta give

me time to think Sam I warn you if you

take those pictures off of television

I'll sue you for breach of contract and

collect you see what I mean from all

sides I'm getting it that's your problem

I've told you what I expect from you and

you better get busy immediately

good day

[Music]

well here we are a reasonable hour your

father demand it's a very educational

afternoon Tommy do you entertain

out-of-town visitors often almost every

day doesn't it get monopolist I mean

seeing things like the zoo and the

Statue of Liberty and the Metropolitan

Museum and Grant's Tomb so often you

forgot the top of the Empire State

Building no I've never seen any of them

before in my life where do you usually

take visitors 21 colony Matt may have

called me madam whatever I think I'd

like so you decided I'd enjoy the places

we visited today didn't you

what influences your decision as to how

you shall entertain visitors oh I don't

know first impressions I guess

personality mainly so after one look at

me you decided I was the museum type I

wouldn't put it that way places that we

saw the places people say you should see

I've never seen it and the reason I've

never seen it mr. BAE

never been asked to entertain anyone who

might enjoy saying no matter what you

say still comes out the same I'm

definitely the museum type alright so

you're the museum type mr. Ainsley may I

thank you for the most boring afternoon

I've ever spent in my entire life good

night okay I was beginning to worry

about you

there's no need I'm the museum type

you're what were you going

Sam Liberty has invited us to dine he's

under the delusion that he and I can

come to an agreement about those

pictures a little I know of him all he

wants is a chance to talk you out of

getting that injunction My dear girl

never could talk to me until he's blue

in the face and all I'd have to show for

it would be a blue face you better touch

up a little no thanks I'd rather have

dinner here all right Oh dine here no

you keep your date please I'll just have

knurling dinner and go right to bed

he'll is anything wrong

no well you seem upset about something

did you have any trouble with a young

upstart from the agency

are you kidding how could I possibly

have trouble with any men

keep the change thank you mr. Leonard or

coffee gentlemen no thank you

bring us two brandies your best yes not

too bad at dinner a pal best I've had in

years

cigar no like a little brandy with the

coffee or mellow everything yeah

you're wasting your time limit it's not

my nature to be mellow with or without

brandy you may ask me now or you may ask

me later the answer is still the same

believe me fair I didn't even think of

it this is for old times sake you know

and the days when you and Gloria

[Applause]

ladies gentlemen this is the moment

you've all been waiting for

here she is queen of the silent cinema

queen of television and now queen of the

night clubs I give you miss Gloria

Marlowe but at each heavy trick why

didn't you tell me she was here I

brought you here because it's the best

food in town you don't have to listen to

her come on sit down

finish your car

you'll never know just how much

I miss you

you will never know just how much I came

my dream

tried I still couldn't hide

[Music]

haven't I told you so

[Music]

you went away and my

and with

never

I speak your name in my age

[Music]

that I love you I swear that I don't

know how

you'll never know if you don't

[Music]

you never know just how much I care

[Music]

there is some other way

I love you I swear that I don't know how

I know

you'll never know if you don't

[Music]

thank you thank you very much ladies and

gentlemen this is a great thrill for me

after so many years away from the

spotlight but even a greater thrill is

the fact that someone is here tonight

who is very dear to me

this man the same as I was brought back

to his public through the miracle of

television there's a reason for his

great popularity after so many years and

that years because he's one of the

finest actors the screen has ever known

his artistry will endure as long as

motion pictures are shown ladies and

gentlemen may I present your all-time

favorite Bruce player she shouldn't have

done that

you're strangling three

[Applause]

thank you ladies and gentlemen I would

like another coincidence in an evening

filled with subtle touches ladies and

gentlemen miss Marlowe has asked the

orchestra to play Evelyn

a song which at one time held a

particular significance for both of us

Evelyn is a resort of sorts off the

coast of Southern California and I would

be most happy to learn that an

earthquake had sent it to the bottom of

the sea as a man long since returned to

private life I am NOT happy about being

called upon to appear before you but

your reception has been most kind and I

believe sincere for that I am deeply

grateful

[Music]

what am I doing here what a shabby trick

you played on me I should have stayed at

my table and let you stew in your own

double passion come inside please I had

no idea you'd be here tonight nothing

was planned I I merely saved and did

what was in my heart won't you sit down

I would like to apologize for my

rudeness this afternoon perhaps if you

knew all the circumstances you'd

understand why I blew up when I found

out why you were in New York

I need this work darling I need it

desperately I am NOT interfering with

this engagement I'm merely fighting what

you're doing with our pictures on

television how long do you think

there'll be other engagements if these

pictures are stopped

come in mr. Levin left a message he's

sorry but he had to go to his office to

take a call from London thank you oh

dear Sam was going to take me home would

you

I'll drop you off

well that's all I meant after all

there's no reason why we can't be

friends you wait outside and I'll be

dressed in just one minute

[Music]

I realized Laurie and what I'm going to

do hurt you a professional career but

there's no other choice for me if I

don't stop your showing of our older

pictures on television all the years

I've worked to maintain my standing as

an educator my question I understand

quite a situation isn't it one of us

must lose everything he's ever lived for

and I guess I'm it just as if I thrown

you into the street you have money

I

I have no penny

close those owes your jewels or rented

rented to keep up a front I don't

understand

you're dying a salary on television the

bare minimum the real salary was to come

later what about the nightclub

well to be perfectly frank with you

darling up until a few months ago I was

almost hopelessly in debt now I'm paying

off getting ready for the big breaks

[Music]

why is it stopped here because this is

where I live

[Music]

[Applause]

that way this is all sort of pressing I

had no idea oh it's all right after you

get accustomed to it you may think this

is silly after so many years but in

memory of uh yet that that uh good night

[Music]

and they're going

[Music]

well lady you sure you got the right

address oh dear there must be some

mistake would you be kind enough to call

a cab

[Music]

and evening McFarlane hello Frank

there you are keep you chained

oh man good morning dad I would have

bought a breakfast for you but I didn't

know what time you'd awaken you were out

rather late yes well what happened

haven't was I recall you were gonna tell

mr. Levin he was wasting his time I did

but now we can get down to business

business yeah what's wrong well have you

forgotten why we're here no no of course

not

what is it what's bothering you dad tell

me it's Gloria I miss Marla what about

her

did you see her last night and what if I

did that vulgar woman I supposed to do

everything possible to play on your

sympathies she's not vulgar and she

didn't play on my sympathies the facts

were there for me to see Carol come here

if I stop the showing of those pictures

her career is ruined if you stop them

you know she's deeply in debt hasn't got

a penny to her name you should see where

she lives

well what about are you gonna give up

your job your career as a teacher so she

can go on ridiculing you in public as

dreamboat I don't know what to do well I

do I've made an appointment for you with

mr. Harrington DW Harrington the lawyer

you wanted to see remember of course I

remember and if you don't mind I'll make

my own appointments you'll see you at

one o'clock you'll see me when I'm ready

to see him and if you can't treat your

father with respect at least you can

permit him to settle his own problem is

without interference Oh

once you're acting like a child that

woman's making a fool of you I'll hold

you to account for those remarks later

young lady hello oh it's you I've been

thinking a lot about yesterday I'm

calling to apologize apologize for what

I'd say everything was extremely proper

I'd like another chance to do right by

you this evening this is here mr. Levitt

idea no doubt ask my father you think

I'm an infant well he didn't seem to

think very much of me and I thought

maybe if you what he thinks of you as

his affair I'll do as I please

I'd be delighted have dinner with you

mr. Ainsley for hive

I'll call for you for dinner at 7:00 and

and anything you'd like to do later oh

thanks thanks a lot

goodbye goodbye ask my father

you really clean my room with everybody

I'm telling you you don't get the key

till you pay for your room boo sure you

got enough dough for booze but when it

comes to a place to flop announce me to

miss Marlowe please

now scram Oh miss Gloria Marlowe aren't

you familiar with your own guest list

we ain't got it Claud wait are you

talking about Gloria Marlowe the Dame on

television crudely put the true

now what would she be doing it hey that

was her last night what do you mean the

dish in a fur coat of course I brought

her here she walked in and I asked her

what she was doing and she said I think

I made a mistake would you call me a cab

just like that you Eden she actually

doesn't live here

are you kidding don't you read the fan

magazines that Dame was saved that those

since she was 18 and she made it before

taxes Hey

sure Dorothy send her right in

come in honey I'm sorry I had to leave

you and Sarah last night I'll bet you

are you framed me you knew I'd do

anything on earth to keep those films on

television how'd you make out I can't be

sure yet but I have a hunch the dream

Bowl is going through a change of mine

wonderful wonderful how do you work it

oh there's certain things a woman

doesn't like to talk about excuse me yes

tell the girl to send him right in

I don't care what you did honey it

worked oh maybe you better let me wait

outside while you talk to him stay right

where you are we three you got deals to

talk over big deals come here my boy

come in I'm sorry I had to run out hunt

yes all right all right I understand

good morning I'm delighted you're here

now we can get everything settled at one

time ha ha you're a smart man my boy I

knew you'd see the light yes finally I

saw the light first concerning my

original desire to have my motion

pictures with drawn from tellus Oh what

everybody goes off half-cocked sometimes

half hour ago I instructed my attorney

to secure a restraining injunction

you're filing suit no yes my boy

definitely yes

but last night last night miss Marlowe

you gave one of the poorest performances

of your entire career which is quite an

achievement

now Justin yours was even worse do you

think that for one moment I was taken in

by that overripe rendition of Bertha the

sewing machine girl or that shabby hotel

routine or that bilious display of

sentimentality now yo dude

Oh No I beg your pardon

I'll see you two charming characters in

court what a job of fixing you did

something's happened to him it wasn't

like this last night well Sam you've got

to stop him he's going to ruin us

you think you're giving me information I

don't know sorry they give me my lawyer

you'd better get your lawyers lawyer

hell yes come here

what is the meaning of all listen what's

your baby from your television fans if

that's what you want to call the

lecherous type of middle-aged she-wolves

you seem to attract septum the one who's

willing to make herself available by

drowning her husband no the one with the

island this is the most brazen display

of female emotionalism I've ever seen

hello hello give me the desk tech he

didn't have his picture in the paper

with Gloria Marlowe's arm around him you

can't blame him I'm not blaming him

hello yes Clerk this is Thornton Sayer I

want no further deliveries of any

flowers whatsoever to my room and

furthermore I want all the flowers

already delivered to be called for

immediately and sent to the nearest

funeral parlor

thank you did you make up your mind

about Gloria Marlowe naturally did you

see her again I saw her and mr. Levitt

and mr. Harrington the attorney and I

informed Miss Marlowe and mr. levy that

as of now I'm suing for an injunction to

restrain the show of my films

permanently dad I'm so happy for you for

a moment this morning I was afraid she

was gonna make a fool of you that

transparent faker you underestimate your

father my child now I'll freshen up and

we'll have dinner together how about the

hotel dining room I'm sorry dad but I

didn't know when you'd be back

besides you were pretty rude when you

left this morning meaning a lot I have a

dinner engagement but with whom the only

person you've met is that impossible be

Elaine say I'm having dinner was that

impossible to answer

are you out of your mind he's not the

type of man for you why did he say he

was dead but what type is for me

well it's one part of my education you

can reflect it completely as a result

some people might come to the conclusion

that I'm the museum type well perhaps I

am but I'm gonna find out for myself the

way you do that

what's all this gibberish about being

the museum type I'll let you know when I

find out hello no this is not dreamboat

he is not here nor do I expect him he

sailed for for Borneo why does anyone go

to Borneo to hunt heads hello bill hi

Steve

hi Belle hello one

mr. Ainsley I imagine you suffered even

more than I shall we sit down I was

enjoying it very much good you wish

[Music]

good night Caroline well it's still

early is your any other place you'd like

to go yes to your apartment my apartment

you enjoyed your dinner mr. player I

enjoy nothing when I am addressed as mr.

Blair tonight

it's not a perfume company is happy to

present another dream much do you - a

fee a dollar - attacks - in love with

the cabaret girl what play by - thank

you what would be sir

Dubonnet

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

oh what a man

you mean what I have what your tongue

said what you say about I think nothing

at all

[Music]

is your room satisfactory dr. Carly yes

thank you could you tell me where I

might find mr. Sayre ace thanks I beg

your pardon

make my pardon what did you do

[Music]

isn't he wonderful

eeeh went from me every time I come home

from work I should slobber over here

like that drip

[Music]

look at her I could lick that drink of

water with both hands tied to my feet do

you think so well let me tell you that

when I finish with that brute he wound

up in the hospital hey dreamboat the

other guy is my method of my life by out

of punch your teeth down your throat you

promise I promise

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

it worked

sorry let's go alright everybody stand

where you are

[Music]

well this is it

nice may I have a drink please a drink

well is that an unusual request from a

lady well from you yes what's happened

to you why did you want to come here

well you've brought women here before

haven't you

oh yes but I'd like that drink please

[Music]

[Music]

it's warm in here yes I've been looking

at your trophies I guess it's always

warm in here

I barely know those women that we

grabbed pictures are a dime a dozen in

show business well now that we're here

what are you gonna drive on do well I

didn't you guessed I was a museum time

let's find out

[Music]

right there liked it very much

so did I you know that's the first time

I've ever been kissed

[Music]

nothing better take you back to the

hotel to find out something

am I the museum times or a sex lavatory

kid taking you back to your father now

you're calling me a child Orson gets

overdoing it a bit look you're a very

nice young lady and I'm trying to be a

gentleman I slip into your coat don't

look at me

I said slip into your coat why I don't

trust my own willpower still haven't

told me am I the museum time if you are

I've been spending an awful lot of time

in the wrong places that Detective Adair

to arrest me out of taking the case in

the highest court he had no choice even

the man's wife said as her husband's

fault the woman seemed quite infatuated

with you bothered me with that idiotic

character Bruce Blair what brings you to

New York Bruce Blair come in I must talk

to you why this room was right next to

mine yes a coincidence step inside

please why did you say Bruce Blair

brought you here the board of trustees

at under Hill is getting restless they

want you discharged immediately why I'm

doing that I came here to do I've

already filed a petition for an

injunction restraining the showing of my

films publicity you've been receiving

thornton particularly that picture

showing you embracing Gloria Marlowe

when you arrived in New York the board

is beginning to feel it as far as you're

concerned you still are Bruce Blair this

is ridiculous I'm devoting every waking

hour

consigning Bruce Blair to oblivion I've

been sent here to have a heart-to-heart

talk with you Thornton and to find out

if you really wish to return to your job

as Thornton Sayer the teacher of course

I do

then what primitive emotion prompted you

to into a barroom tonight and become

involved in a brawl you're distorting

effects no though despite the fact that

I am representing the Board of Trustees

I am here to help you no matter what you

tell me I'm going to recommend that you

not be discharged thank you doctor but

in return for that favor I want the

truth from you I want you to confess to

me that despite every valiant effort on

your part you cannot destroy the fact

that basically you are Bruce Blair I

want you to remove it the pose

there is a screen behind which hides the

real man that is you this will be our

secret

and no one else shall ever know what

you're saying is fantastic you have

tried to put an utterly false confession

in my mouth no you listen to me oh yeah

oh yeah my name is in Bruce and I can

take over so much of this tommyrot I

know

then the real you comes will you can get

this nonsense and listen watch me you

you Beast

good night doctor I'll talk to you when

you're not so tired

now what stay where you are don't come

one step nearer but I have moved as you

who follow me in here to find out the

truth about you no matter what may

happen to me poor man you tried so hard

to live a decent honorable life don't

you

and then there's something inside you

breaks loose and you become a man

without conscience or scruples a man in

search of a woman in code and when this

happens to you nothing else in the world

matters only this great burning desire

this torch was craving for love that's

the real you isn't it Bruce tell me

darling you have her doctor bidding me

believe me or no condition to discuss

anything now you've had a long trip you

you're worn out thousand times no I'll

take you to your room thanks for

everything it's been a wonderful evening

it was more than that it was a

revelation okay

even Bill well I better say good night

okay I don't know what came over dr.

coffee she fought me like a madwoman

maybe a rush things

that's the rest thing are you

insinuating that I was making advances

to that neurotic spinster never mind dad

I understand now

I guess there's nothing we can do about

it dad it's in our blood

good night dreamboat

[Music]

[Applause]

I think that would be the best

[Music]

you may proceed mr. Harrington Your

Honor it is our intent to prove that

there should be granted a permanent

injunction against the showing of my

clients motion pictures on television

consider this man's plight your honor

here you see a man who has not performed

in a motion picture for many years a man

who left Hollywood at the height of his

career to devote his life to the

honorable and dignified profession of

teaching then now suddenly this man's

privacy is invaded by merciless

commercial interests who are wantedly

destroying his teaching career by

reviving his old motion pictures on

television and identifying him as

dreamboat give this man the right to

live the lawful and commendable life of

his own choosing Your Honor we asked

that you return to him one of the most

priceless possessions of every American

citizen his rights of privacy thank you

your honor

you overdid it I'm not an unwed mother

lost in a snowstorm is counsel for the

respondent ready well if it pleases your

honor I shall dispense with the

theatrical emotionalism displayed by a

counsel for the petitioner and recite

plain facts number one is that Thornton

Sarah's Bruce Blair appeared in a series

of motion pictures of his own free will

and was paid for those appearances

number two is that these pictures were

made to be shown to the public and mr.

Sayre was well aware of that fact number

three the medium of television in

showing these motion pictures to the

public conforms exactly to the purpose

for which they were made

what strange thiking lose the petitioner

to claim an invasion of his rights of

privacy when he performed in these

pictures for public exhibition and

beyond that doesn't he know that motion

pictures are the bread and butter of

television today and that a selfish

restraint against their showing would

endanger the jobs of thousands of our

most loyal Americans now employed by the

television industry is this what you

call dispensing with theatrical

emotionalism well I I submit your honor

that these are facts and in conclusion I

offer for your consideration the paradox

of a self-professed educators seeking to

destroy the greatest educational medium

in the world today television Your Honor

I resent this windbags contention that I

am seeking to destroy television mr.

Sayre you are represented by counsel and

are not to speak for yourself at random

i order you to observe proper court

procedure but your honor

[Music]

does counsel for the petitioner

understand that he's been asked to call

his first witness Your Honor my client

has asked that this television set which

we offer as petitioners Exhibit A be his

first witness

how can a television set be a witness

may I be permitted to speak your honor

why have you engaged counsel if you

don't use him go ahead

Your Honor I contend that anyone or

anything that can speak with authority

in my behalf is my witness Jason this is

not a witness it's merely an exhibit I

submit that the petitioner is out of

order

unfortunately I have no purse didn't

Laura guide me but obviously the thing

can speak therefore I accept it

objection overruled

let's examine Your Honor the counsel for

the respondent has criticized me for not

wanting to be exploited on what he calls

the greatest educational medium in the

world today I ask my witness to speak

for itself now folks I'm not hinting to

you that crazy Sam is the square a

shootin used-car dealer in the world

today I'm telling you when you come to

crazy Sam you're coming to a friend a

man who will give you twice what your

old beat-up jalopy is worth and sell you

unbelievable bargains like these before

half of what they're worth all you got

to do is to open your heart to crazy Sam

tell them what you got in the bank and

he'll find a car for you it'll give you

double value right down to your very

last dollar brother and you will get the

surprise of your life

and that is what the respondents hope

may someday replace the public school

system that's all you are as counsel for

the respondent wish to cross-examine the

witness no questions your honor

but we must protest the to prejudice the

court the petitioner has deliberately

selected a program which would indicate

a low standard of quality for television

and we charge that that selection was

premeditated with the court can select a

channel any channels six six now here is

what happens when you use an ordinary

hair tonic the ordinary hair tonic

having no penetrating power whatsoever

rolls down the hair and lies helplessly

on your scalp until it evaporates

leaving dry scaly irritating particles

on the skin now watch penetrate am in

action panettone 'im the hair tonic with

the three magic ingredients first

Anatolians magic Electrify bro

ingredient which instantly brings each

dull and drooping hair to life next

Anatolians magic penetrating agent

plasmatron

auras its way to the food sack at the

base of each hair and finally Anatolians

magic vital life ingredient which

nourishes the hair back turbulent must

restrain

petroleum electro Liam will make you

also kissable women everywhere will find

you irresistible

ravishing embraceable dangerous inserts

where the head they love to touch whoa

[Music]

Your Honor I submit that the petitioner

is seeking to evade a specific issue by

showing programs which are entirely

foreign to the one under discussion I

would like to answer that charge your

honor by questioning miss Marlowe all of

it this must I remind you again that

you've engaged constantly speak for you

lady be questioned the witness but he

doesn't know what to ask permission

granted for the last time Thank You

y'all miss Marlowe you said that no

attempt was made to have me appear

ridiculous in your presentation of our

old pictures that is correct

yet despite the actual plot content of

these pictures don't you indicate in

your commercials that if you hadn't dust

yourself with exotic perfume companies

double passion I would never have fallen

in love with you in the pictures I mean

that is a small Liberty we're taking

television commercials it doesn't harm

you it doesn't harm me to state that the

moment a woman steeps herself in some

foul odor I am at her mercy Your Honor I

ask you don't ask me anything until I

know what you're talking about I asked

the counsel for the respondent make

available to this court immediately a

kinescopes sample of the television

program on the discussion for projection

in the courtroom your honor

yes your honor may I select the program

yes your honor

in order not to bore Your Honor I have

selected the last few hundred feet of

what is intended to be the next

television program for exotic perfumes

never mind let you start the picture yes

you are close the blinds please

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

what happened I stopped the film your

honor to explain what is about to happen

I've told you until I'm blue in the face

such explanations must be made by your

counsel but this is a technical point of

which my attorney is totally ignorant

Your Honor I object to the statement of

my client that I'm my client what you

have seen up to now your honor is a

motion picture as it was originally

filmed what you will see next is a

continuation of the same picture

deliberately ordered for television

thereby turning me into the world's

foremost nincompoop Oh see

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Carroll is that you I missed you in

court today I read about it in the

papers congratulations it's quite a

victory if I do say so but I believed in

what I was fighting for that's why I won

what actually were you fighting for day

why you know as well as I you encouraged

me all the way even gave me a good

old-fashioned pep talk when you thought

I was weakening you know why I acted

that way because you brought me up with

a half-baked idea about life and what

it's all about I was blind it's your

fault Carol I don't understand you and I

can't understand you

you're a very talented man they have the

idol of millions of people and yet you

say all you want to do is to go back to

Underhill College we are completely

unappreciated and try to pound knowledge

into the heads of students who live only

for holidays you know what they call you

it on the hill behind your back I don't

care what they call me but I'm amazed at

your attitude Carol what's happened to

you since we came to New York these

clothes and your constant dates with

bill I found out a little about living

dead and I like it I like it very much

that's something you've kept from me

Kelly are you infatuated with this this

adolescent theatrical character Bill's a

man all man

yeah well you'll forget him as soon as

we get back to Underhill you better

start packing right away we're leaving

tonight I'm not going back there

bill asked me to marry him are you out

of your mind

he's not the kind of person for you I

think he is but you're a brilliant young

moon with a wonderful career ahead of

you as a teacher well what's that got to

do with marriage does every female

teacher have to be like dr. coffee Carol

I say that you're coming back to

Underhill with me tonight and I say I'm

not you've kept me cooped up there all

my life while you pose as a teacher and

hid from an outside world that you just

didn't happen to like well I like it and

I'm staying in it where are you going

back to bill I forbid it dad you forget

despite how much you try to prevent it

I'm of age now Elle

if you marry me Ainsley I'll have

nothing further to do with you as a

father that's the way it should be when

a girl gets a man of her all

I wish we had your blessing but you're

acting just with the kids back at

Underhill would expect from a Lionheart

Oh

ironheart yes don't worry I'll not make

a fool of myself again sit down doctor

you're leaving yes I'm going back to

Underhill tonight without consulting me

but I've done what I promised the board

to do my pictures off television for

good but I have not made my decision yet

and the board has entrusted this matter

to me but aren't you satisfied with what

I've done this situation has become very

embarrassing to myth on you're well

aware that I love you very much I

appreciate your feelings doctor no you

don't you have no idea what it means to

a woman to be hopelessly in love a woman

scorned I couldn't bear to have you

returned to and a hill associating with

me and yet despising me I don't despise

you I'm really very fond of you would

you be willing to prove that now no no

[Laughter]

no doctor you Mouse you're fired

[Music]

now at you yes I came there one last

good look at the idiot who wrecked his

own life just for the satisfaction of

ruining mine there's the most incredible

performance in your pitiful repertoire

you are entirely responsible for every

miserable thing that has happened to

both of us the order is nothing thank

you or you are grateful untalented

hypocrite you've never been anything

without me what were you when I found

you on that California campus a

third-rate professor with a fourth-rate

future discovered by a fifth-rate

actress with the mentality that defies

classification and what were you when I

co-starred you in my pictures and

obscure ham riding on my ability and you

knew it that's why you quit Hollywood

before you were thrown out there's one

little mistake my dear

I quit Hollywood before you were thrown

out and why do you think you were so

popular in those films on television

because I made you a star again by

deceiving all of those nice little women

into believing that you were the

greatest lover since Casanova ha ha ha

what a lot you've got a heart as cold as

a frozen halibut and you couldn't act

your way out of a wet paper thing

apparently my Juliet your opinion of my

acting ability is not shared by

Hollywood I have here a contract

awaiting my signature the terms of which

would turn your green eyes red with envy

notice it contains no mention of you

whatsoever what you're making pictures

in Hollywood today why not

Hollywood learn to talk after you left

there's an increasing demand for people

with something to say well this is

fantastic you'll be the biggest flop in

the history of show business we are see

David about whatever happens will be a

pleasure because it will happen without

interference from you

good evening or more important Oh

goodbye

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

don't do that again

[Laughter]

you'll remain sitting now eat your

breakfast and chew each mouthful 28

times not 20 mind you or 26 or 28 times

[Music]

mrs. King this grisly meal your son has

been peddling even cereal I have taught

him an object list wonderful thank you

mother and you miss more any comment

well I think you're terrific you've

changed your opinion considerably

haven't you

we're going to do wonderful things

together thoughtfulness we yes I bought

your contract from say I'm livid

[Music]