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00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,540
k Yeah
4
00:00:20,977 --> 00:00:21,673
- Hey, y'all!
5
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,240
It's me, Reverend Paid.
6
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,851
You know, Kwanzaa's just around
the corner and guess what?
7
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,810
I'm about to drop my new CD.
8
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:30,987
It's called, Hey Man, It's Me,
Jesus.
9
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,381
Let me kick you down a little
something from my single.
10
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:36,079
k Hey man it's me
11
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,821
k Jes-us
12
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,302
k Hey man it's me
13
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:44,174
k Jes-us
14
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:46,655
k Hey man it's me
15
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,310
k Je-sus
16
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:50,615
k Open up
17
00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:52,052
k Open up
18
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,271
k And let me in k
19
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:04,064
k Yeah yeah yeah
20
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:10,940
k Hustle
21
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:17,251
k I know everything's gonna be
all right
22
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,689
k Hustle hustle
23
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:25,433
k From the sunrise through the
late night
24
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,787
k I gotta make it
25
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,447
k Hustle
26
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,405
k Hustle hustle
27
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:46,280
k I know everything's gonna be
all right
28
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:50,153
k Hustle hustle
29
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:53,852
k From the sunrise through the
late night
30
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,898
k Late night, yeah
31
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,860
k I gotta make it out the hood
32
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:05,125
k I gotta find a way out
33
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,172
k Some say that I'm
misunderstood
34
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,217
k But
35
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:13,263
k I gotta get mine somehow
36
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,178
k I wanna live my life
37
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,876
k Right on that cloud nine
38
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:21,010
k I made up my mind
39
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:26,102
k See it's my time to take what
is mine
40
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,278
k I want it all k
41
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:38,027
- Seems like there ain't
nobody here but the roaches.
42
00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:40,334
- Roach Stompers!
43
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:41,726
- Good morning guys,
you're here for the trash?
44
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:42,858
- Trash?
45
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,860
Man you better show her your
wings.
46
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:48,298
- We're from Roach Stompers.
47
00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:50,213
We're here to stomp out
some roaches and some ants.
48
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,823
- The ants, that was a one time
problem.
49
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,477
I will call right now, I will
cancel the monthly service--
50
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:54,696
- Wait, wait, one second.
51
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,785
We drove a long distance to get
out here.
52
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,003
- You better let her know
something.
53
00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:00,005
- All right? And we gonna kill
some bugs.
54
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:00,919
- Tell her! Tell her!
55
00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:02,573
- Roaches, ants,
- Tell her!
56
00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:06,708
- Caterpillars, wasps, horse
flies, crabs, tapeworms--
57
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,231
- Shh! Please come in. Hurry up!
58
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:09,319
- This stuff works.
59
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,886
- Get it, get it, go on and get
it.
60
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,670
Get it, go on and get it.
61
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:18,459
- Okay, upstairs to your right
we've got all the bedrooms,
62
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,417
to your left the formal dining
room.
63
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,723
Come here, come, come, come,
come.
64
00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,768
And here, my living room.
65
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,425
- Nice place.
66
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:29,426
- Uh-huh.
67
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:30,427
- You got a boyfriend?
68
00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,428
I'm just playing.
- Excuse me?
69
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:32,908
- Do you? Nah. I'm just playing.
70
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:35,563
- Listen lady, you are in
denial.
71
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,608
See, all homes got bugs.
72
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,262
- Yeah, it's always something
different.
73
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,090
Like right now, we're
looking for the G-Roach.
74
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,004
- G-Roach? What's that?
75
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,440
- It's a roach that a real G.
76
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,963
Like Tupac and 50.
77
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,661
Yeah, you can shoot 'em
with spray nine times
78
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,664
and it just won't die.
79
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,492
They can eat through anything.
80
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,105
- You can smell it too?
81
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:58,194
- Lady, it's not a game.
We're professionals.
82
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,109
Junior, stay in here. I'm
going to check upstairs.
83
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,415
- I got you, man.
84
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,460
- Sir, straight ahead
to your left, upstairs.
85
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:04,505
You got 20 minutes.
86
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:05,897
- Okay.
87
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,072
- Yeah, 20 minutes.
- And that goes for you too.
88
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:08,030
- 20 minutes, in 20 minutes.
89
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,249
20 minutes is all I need.
90
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,728
In fact, that's more than enough
time.
91
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:11,729
- You got it. And wipe off that
junk.
92
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,731
- I know all about roaches, see.
93
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,481
- Damn!
94
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,095
Oh yeah.
95
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:33,229
Mother-of-pearl gonna rock my
world.
96
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,839
- Stop that!
97
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,798
- I wasn't going to do
anything--
98
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,930
- I am talking to
you!
99
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,455
You! You!
100
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:44,153
Have you been hanging out with
Britney?
101
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:47,983
Have you got pit bulls
fighting in your backyard?
102
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:51,508
Is your woman a woman gone buck
wild?
103
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:56,426
If so, you need to get Satan
104
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,341
out yo life!
105
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,561
The Lord is the answer.
106
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,390
- No, my brother, this is the
answer.
107
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:05,609
Cute.
108
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,961
- Join me, Rev. Paid, every
Sunday at my House of Worship,
109
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:11,528
five services start at 6 am.
110
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:14,139
- That's roach dookie.
111
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:14,923
- No, it's not.
112
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,403
- That's roach dookie.
113
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,405
- I'm telling you that is dust,
okay.
114
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,363
Yeah, that's it.
115
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,233
- Freddy.
116
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,060
- What, Junior?
117
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:23,148
- Come on down here, man.
118
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,149
I done found the mother lode,
man.
119
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,326
A whole big ol' pile of roach
dookie.
120
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:27,892
- You can fix it.
121
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:29,459
- That's roach dookie.
122
00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:30,417
- No, it's not.
123
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,896
- Ma'am,
- Can you press on--
124
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,115
it's probably where they
converged after a large meal.
125
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,377
Look how much it is.
126
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,422
That's roach dookie.
127
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:36,379
- It's not.
128
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:37,511
- You don't believe me, huh?
129
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:38,816
- No, I don't.
130
00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:42,429
- What's that?
131
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:43,343
- I don't know. It's dust.
132
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,605
- Smell it.
133
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,476
- You smell it! How dare you?
134
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:54,397
- Fancy food, fancy wine, fancy
talk,
135
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,051
doo-doo on the floor.
136
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:06,017
- You fancy this! Got that?
137
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,063
Now you clean up and you get
out!
138
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,499
- Hey, Freddy,
you get you ass down here!
139
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,371
Get your ass down here right
now!
140
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:12,894
- Dammit, Junior!
141
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:39,964
- God damn!
142
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:44,055
Freddy, get your ass down here!
143
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,535
Freddy!
144
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:47,494
Mother lode.
145
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:54,892
Freddy, get your ass down here!
146
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:56,981
- Man, we got to go.
147
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:57,808
A mouse almost bit my damn face
off.
148
00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:58,635
We gotta go.
149
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,071
- Look behind the couch.
150
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,986
That's where all the roaches
from Harlem
151
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,119
done went on vacation, they
behind this couch right now.
152
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:06,948
- Damn!
153
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,515
Man, it's like a roach
racetrack!
154
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:09,994
- Yeah, what's up now bitch?
155
00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:11,605
Huh? What's up, huh?
156
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:12,736
Look at me, what I'm doing!
157
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,390
This is Junior doing this to
you.
158
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,522
- Junior,
159
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,393
don't look down.
160
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,311
No, no, no, no, no, no!
161
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:23,617
I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get it.
162
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,445
I got it, I got it, I
got! Come on, calm down.
163
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,664
- Get out!
164
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:29,449
- Come on, Junior, we gotta go,
let's go.
165
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,059
- Hey, hold, hold, hold on.
What'd you do?
166
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,147
- What? What do you mean, what'd
I do?
167
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,409
- What'd you do?
I ain't do nothing.
168
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,323
What you talking about?
I ain't do nothing.
169
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,455
- You done stole something, huh?
170
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:36,543
- What you mean? I ain't steal
nothing.
171
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:37,326
What you talking about,
I ain't steal nothing.
172
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,632
You stole something.
173
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:39,763
- I ain't steal nothing,
what you talking about?
174
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:40,982
- You know how I you stole
something?
175
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,374
Because I'm a kleptomaniac just
like you.
176
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:43,158
And just like you, I was
at the meeting last night
177
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,290
seeing you raise your hand up.
178
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,118
"Yes, I'm Freddy the
kleptomaniac,
179
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,511
"and I'm ashamed of what I do."
180
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:49,686
- Are you done,
Martin Luther King?
181
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:50,513
Are you done now?
182
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,123
You got problems yourself.
183
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,429
- I'm not going back to jail,
because you in denial, okay?
184
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:56,214
- I'm hurt, really hurt by it.
185
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:59,174
- "My name is Freddy, I'm a
kleptomaniac."
186
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,219
- Stop projecting on me,
fight your own demon.
187
00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,831
- From the rich white woman
with the the big ass titties,
188
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:04,745
tonight.
189
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,007
- You know what your problem is?
190
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,312
- Hey, I'm
not going back to jail!
191
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:08,357
- You need counseling,
that's what you need.
192
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,794
- My goddamn job ain't worth
shit.
193
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:15,669
So what you get anyway, was it
Rolex?
194
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,366
- A pearl necklace.
- Pearl necklace?
195
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:18,933
- Real pearl,
you see how these shining?
196
00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:21,413
Look, when they catch the
light, think a thousand dollars.
197
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,851
k Don't let nobody tell
you what you can't do
198
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,635
k Shake it off, you move
199
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,724
k Don't let it stop you
200
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,639
k If you want it, go get it
201
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:32,729
k Don't put limits on yourself k
202
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,738
- Man, I hate this. Roach
Stompers is ruining my life.
203
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,045
Look at us, man. We look
ridiculous.
204
00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:45,220
This is embarrassing.
205
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,526
You got an antenna on your head,
206
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:47,962
I got an antenna on my head.
207
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,311
We 30 years old.
208
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,314
Well actually, I'm 30, you're
a little bit older than 30.
209
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,534
I can see, because you got
little lines on your eyes.
210
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,710
You see how they did Raul?
211
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,712
When he retired, what did they
give him?
212
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,018
A fake gold roach watch.
213
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,151
What the hell is he gonna do
with a fake gold roach watch?
214
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,024
- Freddy, first of all,
you need to stop tripping
215
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,070
about the Roach Stompers thing.
216
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:11,115
That's our job, it's an honest
living.
217
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,509
Because of Roach Stompers, we
gone eat.
218
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,251
And far as the fake gold
roach watch is concerned,
219
00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:18,166
that watch was fly.
220
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,255
- Are you serious?
- That's right.
221
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:23,737
- Roach Scout
number 1! This is Ali Babba!
222
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,914
Roach Scout number 1!
Come in Roach Scout--
223
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,134
- Roaches live off men.
224
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:33,050
But we live off roaches.
225
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:36,053
- Right, I was tripping. I was
tripping.
226
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,533
I was about to quit just now.
227
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,056
But you know what, you
just reeled me back in,
228
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,231
you brilliant, man.
229
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:41,406
You deep.
230
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,495
Get your ass out the truck,
right now.
231
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,237
- I know you hear
me, Roach Scout number 1!
232
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,762
Hey, dumb-dumbs, get your radio!
233
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:52,853
- Man, you sure we
ain't gonna get a ticket
234
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,245
parked over here?
235
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,638
- Man, stop
tripping, we gonna be okay.
236
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,641
- Indeed we are blessed.
237
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:02,340
Now before we pick up in
here correctly, today.
238
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,125
I have a few announcements.
239
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,823
I would like to thank
Brother Jay for the gift.
240
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:09,304
- Oh, damn. That's some mess.
241
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:10,653
- Breath. That's his breath.
242
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,220
Smell like he got bodies up in
here.
243
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,743
- I never noticed that before,
man.
244
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,310
- Biggie Charles!
245
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,313
Hey, Biggie!
246
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,794
- I hear, I hear, you fried
chicken looking mothers.
247
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,274
- Hey, Keebler. What
you doing out your tree?
248
00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:25,712
- My man, Biggie Charles. Give
me five.
249
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,584
- You got the same lips
as a German shepherd.
250
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,107
- Well give me two and a half
then.
251
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:31,935
- I ain't giving you shit,
darkness.
252
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:34,416
- Well, you just gonna leave
me hanging, now Biggie?
253
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,374
We was just gonna bring
your ass a happy meal.
254
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:39,639
- Y'all finished with the
jokes? Black and blacker.
255
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:41,641
Where's my hooker at, you punks?
256
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,120
- Oh the hookers!
257
00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:45,383
See, the hookers were all
within a 500 mile radius.
258
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:47,864
They heard about your breath
and they ain't with it.
259
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:51,215
- How about if I bust a
cap in your ass, punk?
260
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,913
Would you like that, huh?
261
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,915
- Before you even get to your
gun,
262
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,787
I'll go bowling with your ass.
263
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,136
- Calm down.
- Let him go!
264
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:00,485
Let him go, man!
265
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,400
- Come on, man!
266
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,706
- You ain't felt no pressure
like this,
267
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,229
not since the shot your
ass out the cannon.
268
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,361
- Bring it.
- Calm down, calm down.
269
00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:07,797
Junior, go ahead, man. Go to the
car.
270
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,451
- Get on your knees, I'll whoop
you so bad
271
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:10,887
just like you stole something.
272
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,715
- Soccer kick your ass across
the street.
273
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,456
- Do it, come on!
274
00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:17,894
- Sorry about that, man. He
suffers from dark syndrome.
275
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:19,722
You know black people always
mad.
276
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,376
- I don't like your boy there,
you know.
277
00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,117
He's like a evil Eddie Murphy.
278
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,771
What's wrong with him?
279
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:25,859
- Check it out, though, we're
just trying to make this money
280
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,382
so we can live the American
Dream.
281
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:29,732
- There's the guy who
gets the American Dream.
282
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:32,779
- The devil ain't gonna call
you and make a reservation!
283
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:36,260
The devil ain't gonna send you
no email!
284
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,306
Send you a text!
285
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,788
The devil ain't gonna
knock on your front door!
286
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:44,225
- Tax-free dollars going
straight in his pocket.
287
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,052
- Man, come on.
288
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:48,664
- Walking! To your! House!
289
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,711
Walking! To your house!
290
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:54,148
- Everybody pays taxes, even
that fool.
291
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:56,106
- The devil slides in.
292
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,239
- Man, how you be from
the hood and not know
293
00:11:58,282 --> 00:11:59,849
that churches don't pay taxes?
294
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:02,025
- Slide--Oh Lord, ooh.
295
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,940
- You guys are more stupid than
you look.
296
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,073
- Aw, damn man,
we're getting a ticket
297
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,291
on the roach truck.
298
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:09,206
I told you not to park there,
man!
299
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,861
- Cut the camera,
they can't see all this.
300
00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:14,298
- Today, you're gonna
have to dig deep, Yoda.
301
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:15,778
- Yeah man, come on with it.
302
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:16,648
- Sla-dow!
303
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:18,433
- Oh Wow! Yeah.
304
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:19,913
- You like that?
305
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,698
- Where did you get this
from some rich white woman?
306
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,047
- Don't worry
about where I got that from.
307
00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,440
Give me $300 for it.
308
00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:28,878
- Now that your friend is
gone, are you bisexual?
309
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:31,359
- Fuck all that, cut the goddamn
camera.
310
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,581
- Hey, that ain't even
necessary.
311
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,540
- All right, if you
could read the sign says,
312
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:42,718
"No parking, Monday through
Friday, 8 to 6, 9 to 12, 2 to 4,
313
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,025
"midnight to 4, Saturdays
excluded."
314
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,679
- Go on and put it on then,
I'm just gonna tear it up.
315
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:49,943
- You're gonna do what?
316
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,248
- Tear it up.
317
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,863
- Tear it up, then, with your
bad ass.
318
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:03,086
- Like I said, I'm gone tear
it in itty-bitty, tiny pieces.
319
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,049
- Oh snap.
320
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:11,051
I know you didn't do
throw that in my face!
321
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,053
This ain't no plaything for me.
322
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,271
- What's your number, ma?
323
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,447
- Hey! What's going on here?
324
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,667
- No problem, sandwich man.
325
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,495
- This is my block.
326
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:21,888
And we don't want your kind
of trouble around here.
327
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,585
So why don't you just take
it to the hood, homey.
328
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:26,022
Say, why don't you bite my bun?
329
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:31,375
- Hey, you don't want
no beef with me, okay?
330
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:32,681
- I promise
you, I get more chicks
331
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,291
dressed like a burger
than you do as a roach.
332
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,597
- Hey!
333
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,424
- You want me to poke
you with your antenna?
334
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,643
- You a veggie burger, bitch!
335
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,129
- I wanna go now!
336
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,787
- I need some
backup.
337
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:54,355
Hamburger and a bug,
they're having a fight!
338
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,620
- Get out of here, get out of
here!
339
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:01,666
- Hit me with that broom one
more time,
340
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:02,842
I'm gonna solve all your
problems!
341
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,495
- Fuck with me, then! Shut up!
342
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,847
Man, get up!
- Mayday, Mayday!
343
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,152
- Get out of here!
344
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,459
- We got robbed again.
345
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,721
- Probably getting his
little ass whooped right now
346
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:14,679
by a hooker that's doing
him for his pearls.
347
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,641
- I already canceled my service!
348
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,121
- Wax on, wax off.
What's up?
349
00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:23,036
- Oh, no, no, no, no! No bug
spray today.
350
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,037
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
351
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,692
It's gonna take us ten minutes.
352
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:28,432
We'll be out of here in ten
minutes.
353
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:29,564
- I cancelled service!
354
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:30,695
- Ten minutes is all it's gonna
take.
355
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:31,783
I'll see you in a little bit,
okay.
356
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:32,959
- Please don't spray
food!
357
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:35,613
Last time you here, you broke my
bottles.
358
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:37,267
- Hey, nobody broke no bottles,
man.
359
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:38,486
We professionals, okay?
360
00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:42,098
- I hate Roach Stompers! Bad for
business.
361
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,777
- No more bug spray, please,
please!
362
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:11,475
You ruin my business. Leave my
store.
363
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:19,701
- Freddy.
364
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:24,793
Freddy.
365
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,697
- Roach, Roach Stompers, stop.
366
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,047
Roach Stompers, stop.
367
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:07,967
- Everything all right?
368
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,147
I got some family in the Wu-Tang
Clan.
369
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,584
Wu-Tang! Wu-Tang!
370
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,068
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to
fuck with.
371
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:25,854
I'll be out in the car.
372
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,291
- Junior.
373
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,555
- Y'all like the Four
Tops, I'm gonna call y'all
374
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:33,209
the Four Chops, y'all
just need another member.
375
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:34,645
Okay, don't even worry about it.
376
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,256
Go ahead and sign this right
here.
377
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,779
Number One, number two,
and number three, please.
378
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:38,910
Just go ahead.
379
00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:40,869
You're not gonna sign it.
380
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:41,739
We're gonna send the
bill out to your house.
381
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,002
Don't even worry about that,
382
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:43,567
I'm just gonna go and head up
out of here.
383
00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:44,220
- Roach Stomper.
384
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,744
Give him the money.
385
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,266
- It's about to jump off right
now!
386
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,312
- Would you like to buy
some brownies, mister?
387
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,314
- Do I smell like I got any
money?
388
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:38,840
- Eww, we're never gonna get
enough money to go camping.
389
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:51,461
k Faster, faster, I need to go
faster
390
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:55,030
k Faster and faster, I need to
go faster
391
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:57,424
k I gotta get away
392
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,385
k I gotta get away
393
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,000
k I gotta get away
394
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:11,307
k I'm moving full speed
395
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,135
k Y'all ain't gonna catch me
396
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,356
k I gotta get away now, get
away, yeah
397
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,879
k They're chasing me
398
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,794
k But they ain't gonna catch me
399
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:22,971
k I gotta get away, get away,
yeah
400
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,800
k Come on k
401
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,216
- Junior, stop the van!
402
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,178
Yo Junior, stop the van, man!
Come on!
403
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,919
It was an accident, man.
404
00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,399
I'm your best friend, Junior.
405
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:00,922
Junior, stop the van. They're
gonna kill me, Junior.
406
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,315
- It's best friends all over the
place.
407
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:03,664
- I've been your best
friend since kindergarten.
408
00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,361
Junior, it wasn't my fault,
Junior.
409
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,536
- It's always your fault.
410
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:07,624
- Junior, they're gonna kill me.
411
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,496
- They're gonna kill you, not
me.
412
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:10,888
- Stop the van,
they're gonna kill me, Junior.
413
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:13,064
- All I gotta worry
about is renting a tuxedo
414
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:14,370
to wear to the funeral.
415
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,502
- Junior, stop playing,
Junior!
416
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:18,200
- You got you a nice little
workout.
417
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:19,810
Get your ass in the truck,
bitch.
418
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:20,681
Where the money at?
419
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:21,551
- I lost it.
420
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:23,423
- No.
- Go!
421
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:24,946
- You lost the money?
422
00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:26,556
- It wasn't my fault, Junior.
423
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,820
- You lost the money which means
now we in all this trouble.
424
00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:32,649
- If I would've kept it
though. But I didn't lose it.
425
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,651
You'd been all on my jock,
Junior.
426
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:37,654
- Whenever I hang out with
you, I end up in trouble.
427
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:41,049
- Can't catch me. I'm the
Gingerbread Man!
428
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,398
- You're an asshole!
429
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:45,184
- It's healing time.
430
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:52,321
Man infected with devil sadness,
evil racing in his head.
431
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:53,540
Heal!
432
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:54,976
- Yes, Lord.
- God!
433
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,370
- Thank you. Mm-hmm.
434
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:58,632
- Hey, mama.
435
00:19:58,675 --> 00:20:00,416
- Don't "Hey, mama,"
me, boy. Where you been?
436
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,374
- Working.
437
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:02,723
- And where is your shoe?
438
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,290
- They just put a new sole in--
439
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,596
- Freddy, I hope you ain't
still selling them fake Jordans.
440
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,424
- Ain't nobody sold no fake
Jordans. We good, how you been?
441
00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:09,730
- Don't you get too comfortable,
now.
442
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,427
I need you go on back
there and check on Zoey.
443
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:13,168
She been waiting on you all day,
alright?
444
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,343
- You got your hair done, huh?
445
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:15,475
- Get on out of here, now.
446
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:16,780
- I like your robe, mama, it's
nice.
447
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:17,825
- Freddy, if you don't
your ass out of here!
448
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,043
- Anybody call me today?
449
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,480
- No, ain't nobody call you.
450
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,438
If you don't go, I'm coming
to help you get there.
451
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:23,483
Now.
452
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:24,658
- That's one crazy rascal.
453
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:25,485
- Yes, he is.
454
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:26,268
- How you doing, mama?
455
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,574
- I'm doing good.
456
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:28,836
How you doing, Junior?
Staying out of trouble?
457
00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,359
- You know that.
458
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,405
- All right, now. You keep
up with the good work, okay?
459
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,798
Cute old smile of
yours.
460
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,496
Go on over there and sit down.
461
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,673
- Out devil! Go on get up out of
here.
462
00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:41,283
- Boy, if you don't get
your foot off my table.
463
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,633
- This broadcast
to bring you a special report.
464
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,245
Listen, bitch, just get my
money.
465
00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:49,726
We're on?
466
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,902
We interrupt the Reverend Paid
Gospel Hour
467
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:53,643
with a breaking story.
468
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:56,342
Money rained over downtown
streets today
469
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:59,649
as lucky passers-by
snatched thousands in cash.
470
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:02,435
- I sure wished I've been
downtown today.
471
00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:05,786
Sweetheart, why your lips
so ashy? You all right?
472
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,353
- Well you know, mama,
I ain't been drinking
473
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:08,571
a lot of water lately.
474
00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:09,964
- You know you should never let
your lips
475
00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:12,401
get that ashy, honey, you
can get sick like that.
476
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:13,837
I'll get you some Vaseline for
your lips.
477
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:15,491
- Okay, mama.
478
00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:16,275
- All right, I'm gonna
get it for you. I'll be back.
479
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,189
- You got your nerve,
480
00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:20,366
talking about my lips.
481
00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:23,630
How about your two pound
breakfast?
482
00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:25,719
- Junior if you don't get
your foot
483
00:21:25,762 --> 00:21:26,807
off my damn table!
484
00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:30,332
- $5,000 in prayer.
485
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,249
- Daddy, you get my piano yet?
486
00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:37,557
How am I supposed to be Alicia
Keys if I can't practice?
487
00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:38,993
- You have a keyboard.
488
00:21:39,036 --> 00:21:40,299
- Look at it.
489
00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:42,431
- Do you ever see Stevie Wonder
complain about his keyboard?
490
00:21:42,475 --> 00:21:44,041
- He's blind.
491
00:21:44,085 --> 00:21:45,739
- Okay, I'm working on it. I'm
gonna make it happen, okay?
492
00:21:45,782 --> 00:21:47,349
Right now, you get some sleep,
it's late.
493
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:48,655
You got school tomorrow, okay?
494
00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:49,960
- Daddy, you bio-sexual?
495
00:21:50,004 --> 00:21:51,048
- Am I what?
496
00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:51,962
- Are you bio-sexual?
497
00:21:52,006 --> 00:21:53,616
- Do I look bisexual?
498
00:21:54,443 --> 00:21:55,401
- A little.
499
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:56,445
- Who told you I'm bisexual?
500
00:21:56,489 --> 00:21:57,664
- Ms. Clara did.
501
00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:59,274
- Ms. Clara said I'm bisexual?
- Mm-hmm.
502
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,493
- I paid all that money to get
them to teach you something,
503
00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:01,798
and she told you I'm bisexual.
504
00:22:01,842 --> 00:22:03,017
- Yep.
505
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:04,018
- I'm not bisexual, I'm gonna
kill her.
506
00:22:04,061 --> 00:22:05,193
- Am I?
507
00:22:05,236 --> 00:22:06,760
- You don't even know what
bisexual is.
508
00:22:06,803 --> 00:22:08,196
- Then who is?
509
00:22:08,718 --> 00:22:10,154
- I'll tell you who's bisexual,
510
00:22:10,198 --> 00:22:11,939
your Uncle Junior's bisexual.
511
00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:15,377
- You need to get paid in
prayer.
512
00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:18,467
- I knew there was
something fishy about him.
513
00:22:18,511 --> 00:22:19,555
- There's a little bisexual boy
waiting
514
00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:20,817
to just bust out of him.
515
00:22:20,861 --> 00:22:22,558
Just, "Ahh!" okay?
516
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,125
But it's a secret
between me and you, okay?
517
00:22:24,168 --> 00:22:25,387
Off the books, pinky promise.
518
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:26,649
- Pinky promise.
519
00:22:26,693 --> 00:22:28,216
- Okay, give me some
brown sugar.
520
00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:31,350
Okay, night Miles.
521
00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:33,961
- That's not Miles, this is
Miles.
522
00:22:34,004 --> 00:22:35,179
This is Mist.
523
00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:37,225
Miles, Mist.
524
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:40,010
- All right, you guys get
some sleep. Night, night.
525
00:22:40,054 --> 00:22:40,924
- Goodnight, daddy.
526
00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:42,230
- Goodnight, baby.
527
00:22:50,107 --> 00:22:51,500
- You listen to me, nigga.
528
00:22:51,544 --> 00:22:54,198
I brought you in this
world, I will take you out.
529
00:22:54,242 --> 00:22:55,591
Do you hear me, Freddy?
530
00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:57,027
You gotta do better than
what you're doing, Freddy.
531
00:22:57,071 --> 00:22:57,941
- Mama, I'm trying--
532
00:22:57,985 --> 00:22:58,812
- I taught you better than that.
533
00:22:58,855 --> 00:22:59,552
- I can't breathe.
534
00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:00,640
You lost in bingo again.
535
00:23:00,683 --> 00:23:01,815
- Boy, shut up.
- Why you so angry?
536
00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:04,295
- Shut up and listen to me.
537
00:23:04,339 --> 00:23:06,297
You got a little girl
in there that loves you
538
00:23:06,341 --> 00:23:07,908
very much, Freddy.
539
00:23:07,951 --> 00:23:09,605
And yes, she's my granddaughter,
540
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:11,085
and I don't mind taking care of
her.
541
00:23:11,128 --> 00:23:13,827
But Zoey is your responsibility,
Freddy, not mine.
542
00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:14,741
- Mama, I'm try--
543
00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:16,395
- You're a smart man, Freddy.
544
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:19,441
I know that because I raised
you that way, do you hear me?
545
00:23:19,485 --> 00:23:23,663
And now it's time for you to
make a life for you and Zoey.
546
00:23:23,706 --> 00:23:25,752
Because I'm not gonna be
around here forever, Freddy.
547
00:23:25,795 --> 00:23:26,883
- How can you talk like that--
548
00:23:26,927 --> 00:23:28,711
- Stop and listen, I am serious,
Freddy.
549
00:23:28,755 --> 00:23:29,886
Do you hear what I'm saying?
550
00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:30,539
- Okay.
551
00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:31,671
- I'm serious.
552
00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:32,585
- Mama, you ain't brushed this
morning.
553
00:23:32,628 --> 00:23:33,368
- Boy, I will beat your behind.
554
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,456
- Okay, okay.
555
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,805
- I'm getting old, baby.
556
00:23:36,371 --> 00:23:39,983
Now listen, what you need
to do is put God first,
557
00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:42,943
and then get your life
together, do you hear me?
558
00:23:42,986 --> 00:23:44,597
- Okay.
559
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,077
- Because I found some bikini
drawers in your dresser, boy,
560
00:23:47,121 --> 00:23:48,470
with dookie stains all in them.
561
00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:50,559
Like you've been flossing
your behind with them.
562
00:23:50,603 --> 00:23:52,779
You know what, you know men
don't wear drawers like that
563
00:23:52,822 --> 00:23:54,476
and I'm not gonna be
washing no drawers of yours
564
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,130
that's got doo-doo stains in
them.
565
00:23:56,173 --> 00:23:57,827
Because you got it all up in
your ass.
566
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,308
If you are into something
and I find out about it,
567
00:24:00,351 --> 00:24:02,310
Freddy, you know I will hurt
you.
568
00:24:02,353 --> 00:24:03,833
I will hurt you, because we
don't do that kind of stuff
569
00:24:03,877 --> 00:24:04,573
in this house.
570
00:24:04,617 --> 00:24:05,705
- Okay, okay, okay.
571
00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:06,880
- Because I know I raised you
right.
572
00:24:06,923 --> 00:24:08,055
- Okay.
573
00:24:08,098 --> 00:24:08,969
- All right?
- All right, mama.
574
00:24:09,012 --> 00:24:09,796
- Now get on in there.
575
00:24:11,362 --> 00:24:12,886
- Freddy!
576
00:24:12,929 --> 00:24:14,540
- For these ladies, their
cookie pushing days are through.
577
00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:16,106
What happened here?
578
00:24:16,150 --> 00:24:19,066
- A black man with a roach
outfit bought all our cookies.
579
00:24:19,806 --> 00:24:21,416
- Can you tell me what happened
here?
580
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,505
- Well you see, it's
like this, I think it was
581
00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:25,638
some kind of a bug man
superhero.
582
00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:27,509
I've seen him at night on
some of these high-rises--
583
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:28,641
Hey, let go of my money!
584
00:24:28,684 --> 00:24:30,033
- Sir, what is your
name?
585
00:24:30,077 --> 00:24:31,295
- Key-Flo.
586
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:32,471
- Okay, and you just
caught a bunch of money
587
00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:33,559
out of the sky?
588
00:24:33,602 --> 00:24:34,995
- Looks like somebody had a good
day.
589
00:24:35,517 --> 00:24:36,736
- Man, can you believe it?
590
00:24:37,345 --> 00:24:39,652
- A big ass roach just ran
through here.
591
00:24:39,695 --> 00:24:41,915
- And then the money came
flying out of the roach?
592
00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:42,785
- Hey.
593
00:24:43,873 --> 00:24:45,658
You think the cops know who we
are?
594
00:24:46,093 --> 00:24:47,268
I'm serious, man.
595
00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:49,313
- I don't know, maybe it was a
pimp god.
596
00:24:49,357 --> 00:24:51,185
- I don't know, man, this don't
look good.
597
00:24:51,228 --> 00:24:52,534
- The roach somehow made it rain
money.
598
00:24:52,578 --> 00:24:53,753
You don't think the pimp god's
gonna want
599
00:24:53,796 --> 00:24:54,797
all of this money back?
600
00:24:54,841 --> 00:24:55,668
- Aww, he sho.
601
00:24:55,711 --> 00:24:57,104
- The Asians gonna get us.
602
00:24:57,147 --> 00:24:58,714
They gonna moo-goo gai pan us,
Junior!
603
00:24:58,758 --> 00:25:00,020
- With your newfound
fortune,
604
00:25:00,063 --> 00:25:01,238
are you gonna spend it,
are you gonna keep it,
605
00:25:01,282 --> 00:25:02,849
are you gonna save it?
606
00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:04,807
- I'ma fold it like this and
I'm gonna put it in my pocket.
607
00:25:04,851 --> 00:25:06,417
- Blessings from the
pimp god.
608
00:25:06,461 --> 00:25:09,159
Police remain tight-lipped
about today's alleged heist,
609
00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:11,248
but they are telling the
public to be on the look out
610
00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:12,598
for this man.
611
00:25:13,294 --> 00:25:14,164
- Who the hell is that?
612
00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:14,948
- It ain't you.
613
00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:17,559
We ain't got nothing to worry
about.
614
00:25:17,603 --> 00:25:18,604
Trust me, we have nothing to
worry about.
615
00:25:18,647 --> 00:25:19,909
- Our uniforms, they gotta go.
616
00:25:19,953 --> 00:25:21,432
And don't sell me out, man.
617
00:25:21,476 --> 00:25:23,260
- Relax, man. You know you
ain't got a head like that.
618
00:25:24,827 --> 00:25:28,178
- You need to get paid in
prayer.
619
00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:32,618
I'm talking to you, Mr. Man.
620
00:25:33,053 --> 00:25:35,229
Is the devil your agent?
621
00:25:35,272 --> 00:25:37,710
Is Satan your manager?
622
00:25:38,232 --> 00:25:40,190
Is Beelzebub your lawyer?
623
00:25:40,626 --> 00:25:42,366
I'm talking to you!
624
00:25:56,990 --> 00:25:58,165
- Hello?
625
00:25:58,905 --> 00:26:00,167
Roach Stompers.
626
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:04,911
The address is right here.
627
00:26:04,954 --> 00:26:06,477
Is this the right place or what?
628
00:26:07,304 --> 00:26:08,654
Hello mother--
629
00:26:08,697 --> 00:26:09,698
- Hey Junior! You can't
say that in a church, man.
630
00:26:09,742 --> 00:26:10,830
What's wrong with you?
631
00:26:10,873 --> 00:26:12,048
- Ain't nobody coming out.
632
00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:15,095
Hello?
633
00:26:17,445 --> 00:26:18,577
Hello?
634
00:26:23,669 --> 00:26:24,974
Hello?
635
00:26:30,719 --> 00:26:32,155
- Man, what's the hell wrong
with you?
636
00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:36,682
- Oh, I'm
sorry. I didn't hear you.
637
00:26:37,073 --> 00:26:41,861
You must be the men they
sent as replacements.
638
00:26:41,904 --> 00:26:44,385
Oh, praise the Lord.
639
00:26:44,646 --> 00:26:46,213
- We Roach Stompers,
exterminators.
640
00:26:46,256 --> 00:26:47,214
We kill bugs.
641
00:26:48,868 --> 00:26:50,130
- Let's see.
642
00:26:50,957 --> 00:26:53,655
Oh, I'm sorry.
643
00:26:54,264 --> 00:26:57,877
Oh yeah, look at the
little and the
644
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:58,965
- What you laughing at?
645
00:26:59,008 --> 00:27:01,228
- They're getting cute these
days.
646
00:27:01,271 --> 00:27:03,273
We got a huge bug problem here.
647
00:27:03,317 --> 00:27:05,536
We got roaches crawling
all through the aisle,
648
00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:07,582
they're crawling up on the
pulpit,
649
00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,149
trying to sing with the choir.
650
00:27:09,192 --> 00:27:12,152
Even jumping into the baptismal
like it's a swimming pool
651
00:27:12,195 --> 00:27:13,327
at Holiday Inn.
652
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:14,633
Scratching, scratching.
653
00:27:14,676 --> 00:27:17,157
How long will it take
you to get rid of them?
654
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,028
- We'll be out of here in
half an hour, 30 minutes tops.
655
00:27:19,072 --> 00:27:19,942
- Tops.
656
00:27:20,508 --> 00:27:21,814
You get some cough syrup, okay?
657
00:27:21,857 --> 00:27:24,381
- Thank you, son.
658
00:27:24,730 --> 00:27:26,079
- I'ma start working over here.
659
00:27:26,122 --> 00:27:26,949
- You sure you don't want
to work at the podium?
660
00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:28,211
Where all the good ones are.
661
00:27:28,255 --> 00:27:29,691
- You handle the podium,
I got it over here.
662
00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:30,605
I got this on lock.
663
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:31,737
- All right.
664
00:27:31,780 --> 00:27:33,303
- Never in my wildest
dreams
665
00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:35,871
did I think I would find a
church infested with roaches.
666
00:27:36,959 --> 00:27:39,005
- Well you know,
they got the holy ghost,
667
00:27:39,048 --> 00:27:40,789
they got the holy roach.
668
00:27:43,792 --> 00:27:45,751
Man, you see this robe,
man? Look at this, man.
669
00:27:46,490 --> 00:27:48,492
It's nice, I wonder if
those are real sequins.
670
00:27:49,711 --> 00:27:50,712
Try this thing on.
671
00:27:50,756 --> 00:27:52,845
Never had on real sequins
before.
672
00:27:53,497 --> 00:27:54,542
- There's roaches all
over, we're gonna have to
673
00:27:54,585 --> 00:27:55,891
really get thorough over here,
man.
674
00:27:55,935 --> 00:27:57,110
- Go on and get
thorough with it.
675
00:27:57,153 --> 00:27:58,372
Show me what you got.
676
00:27:59,547 --> 00:28:00,679
Show me what you got.
677
00:28:02,768 --> 00:28:04,030
Look at this.
678
00:28:04,073 --> 00:28:05,161
- Freddy, take
the man robe off, man.
679
00:28:05,205 --> 00:28:06,467
- He ain't gonna catch me with
this on.
680
00:28:06,510 --> 00:28:07,076
Look at this, boy, I'm
looking good in this.
681
00:28:08,774 --> 00:28:11,124
k Joyful, joyful, Lord is
joyful-- k
682
00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:12,342
- Freddy.
683
00:28:13,561 --> 00:28:14,562
You gotta help me with this
drum.
684
00:28:14,605 --> 00:28:15,694
Help me with this drum, man.
685
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:17,347
- It look good on me, man. Look
at this.
686
00:28:17,826 --> 00:28:20,263
Sequin man.
687
00:28:21,787 --> 00:28:22,831
- Back.
688
00:28:24,659 --> 00:28:26,052
- Man, again?
- Yeah.
689
00:28:26,443 --> 00:28:27,749
- Why your back always doing
that?
690
00:28:27,793 --> 00:28:29,316
- Too much karaoke last
night.
691
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:30,752
- Okay, don't move, stay there.
692
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:32,580
I'ma get your hat first, okay?
693
00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:34,538
- Get the roach, get the roach
pack off.
694
00:28:34,582 --> 00:28:36,062
- I got you, stop moving.
695
00:28:36,105 --> 00:28:37,759
All right, don't move. I got
you.
696
00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:40,066
All right, this how you was in
jail?
697
00:28:40,109 --> 00:28:41,371
Give me that soap, boy!
698
00:28:41,415 --> 00:28:43,547
- Hey look, man, this
ain't time for no jokes.
699
00:28:44,070 --> 00:28:47,508
- Thelma now, come on.
Put some pep in your step.
700
00:28:48,074 --> 00:28:49,597
Getting old.
701
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,555
- What you talking about, my
clothes don't even get old.
702
00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:53,340
- Wait a minute, who is that?
703
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:00,695
- It looks like a healing to me.
704
00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:02,828
- Those must be the replacement
ministers.
705
00:29:02,871 --> 00:29:03,785
- They are!
706
00:29:10,052 --> 00:29:11,010
- Wonderful!
707
00:29:14,143 --> 00:29:18,582
- Oh my heavens, brother.
That's something to behold.
708
00:29:18,626 --> 00:29:21,890
A real healing right here in our
church!
709
00:29:21,934 --> 00:29:23,979
Praise the Lord! It's a miracle.
710
00:29:24,023 --> 00:29:25,633
- Praise be to God!
711
00:29:26,112 --> 00:29:27,374
- I'm Freddy, this is Junior.
712
00:29:27,417 --> 00:29:29,550
- Oh yes, we know the
replacement ministers!
713
00:29:29,593 --> 00:29:33,815
- We're a small congregation,
but we're full of the spirit.
714
00:29:33,859 --> 00:29:34,860
- Oh yes!
715
00:29:36,122 --> 00:29:38,907
- That's Thelma, I'm Louise,
she's Evelyn,
716
00:29:38,951 --> 00:29:41,257
and that's Delores, be
careful of that one.
717
00:29:41,301 --> 00:29:44,695
- Oh she's just jealous,
sugar. I'm harmless.
718
00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:47,611
Most of the time.
719
00:29:47,916 --> 00:29:50,310
- This isn't a proper welcoming,
pastor.
720
00:29:50,353 --> 00:29:51,398
We'll be back.
721
00:29:51,441 --> 00:29:52,573
- Yes, yes, we'll be back.
722
00:29:52,616 --> 00:29:53,922
- I'm not a pastor--
723
00:29:54,401 --> 00:29:56,359
- I'm a Scorpio with a Gemini
rising.
724
00:29:56,403 --> 00:29:57,273
- Oh Evelyn!
725
00:29:57,317 --> 00:29:58,274
- I've got a bad back.
726
00:29:58,318 --> 00:29:59,798
- I've got good hands.
727
00:30:00,276 --> 00:30:01,234
- You see that? They was
trippin'.
728
00:30:01,277 --> 00:30:02,626
What's wrong with them?
729
00:30:03,236 --> 00:30:05,847
- I forgot--Eh, what are you
doing?
730
00:30:05,891 --> 00:30:06,674
- No, no, I was--
731
00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:08,763
- Get that robe off, now!
732
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:09,677
- I was just cleaning
it.
733
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,287
- That robe got the power!
734
00:30:11,331 --> 00:30:12,201
- I told you, Freddy!
735
00:30:12,245 --> 00:30:13,768
- Take it off!
736
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:17,032
How dare you come into the
house of the Lord and mock him?
737
00:30:20,427 --> 00:30:21,254
- Take it easy, man.
738
00:30:21,297 --> 00:30:22,516
- Easy?
739
00:30:23,778 --> 00:30:25,388
- No, no, no, no.
740
00:30:25,780 --> 00:30:27,129
No, no.
741
00:30:27,173 --> 00:30:31,830
No! No, no, no. No, no,
no, no, I'm on probation!
742
00:30:33,483 --> 00:30:34,397
Freddy, do something!
743
00:30:34,441 --> 00:30:35,616
Give him mouth to mouth.
744
00:30:35,659 --> 00:30:36,747
- Okay.
745
00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:40,882
- Do something quick!
746
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:41,840
Freddy, do something!
747
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:42,928
- What's going on here?
748
00:30:42,971 --> 00:30:44,103
What did you do the the Pastor?
749
00:30:44,146 --> 00:30:45,234
- Call 911!
750
00:30:45,278 --> 00:30:46,801
Oh man, this is bad.
751
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,237
- You give him the mouth to
mouth,
752
00:30:48,281 --> 00:30:49,412
it look like he been eating
Miracle Whip sandwiches,
753
00:30:49,456 --> 00:30:51,066
like he got a mouth full of
mayonnaise.
754
00:30:51,110 --> 00:30:52,546
You was in jail, you do it.
755
00:30:52,589 --> 00:30:54,635
- Man, he done went to the
waffle house in the sky.
756
00:30:55,027 --> 00:30:56,158
We in trouble, Freddy!
757
00:30:58,030 --> 00:30:59,335
Give him mouth to mouth.
758
00:31:02,730 --> 00:31:04,036
- It ain't working!
759
00:31:04,471 --> 00:31:05,951
- You played yourself, Freddy.
760
00:31:06,429 --> 00:31:08,605
Don't you ever ask me for
no more sip of my soda.
761
00:31:09,693 --> 00:31:11,434
- On three. 1, 2, 3.
762
00:31:12,827 --> 00:31:14,307
This guy is heavy as shit.
763
00:31:17,527 --> 00:31:19,094
Hey, what'd you guys do to him
anyway?
764
00:31:19,138 --> 00:31:21,749
- Nothing, he started coughing
and then it was just like--
765
00:31:22,663 --> 00:31:24,752
- Are you even certified to do
CPR?
766
00:31:25,753 --> 00:31:26,928
I just hope they didn't crack
his sternum.
767
00:31:26,972 --> 00:31:27,668
- Yeah.
768
00:31:27,711 --> 00:31:28,538
- Crack his sternum?
769
00:31:28,582 --> 00:31:30,149
- Yeah, his chest bone.
770
00:31:30,192 --> 00:31:32,194
- Hey we gotta roll anyway,
it's not like he's dead, right?
771
00:31:32,238 --> 00:31:34,196
- Big Mac will bring him back.
772
00:31:34,980 --> 00:31:37,330
- I don't believe we've
officially met.
773
00:31:37,373 --> 00:31:39,245
Brother Efrom, Associate Pastor
here.
774
00:31:39,288 --> 00:31:40,550
- Associate?
775
00:31:40,594 --> 00:31:42,378
- Yeah, you know, when
Pastor Hacker retires,
776
00:31:42,422 --> 00:31:43,814
I'm next in line.
777
00:31:43,858 --> 00:31:45,120
I'm the brother that's
gonna take over this church.
778
00:31:45,164 --> 00:31:47,296
- So why did they call
for replacement ministers?
779
00:31:47,340 --> 00:31:48,645
- Well you know, sometimes
the church can be
780
00:31:48,689 --> 00:31:50,125
a complicated place.
781
00:31:50,169 --> 00:31:51,387
You brothers just getting into
town?
782
00:31:51,431 --> 00:31:52,171
- Yeah.
783
00:31:52,214 --> 00:31:53,389
- Nah.
784
00:31:53,433 --> 00:31:54,608
- Must've been a long trip from
New York.
785
00:31:54,651 --> 00:31:56,218
- New York? We ain't come from
New York.
786
00:31:56,262 --> 00:31:57,916
- I'm just messing
with you.
787
00:31:57,959 --> 00:32:00,048
Look, we'll figure all
this out tomorrow, okay?
788
00:32:00,092 --> 00:32:01,006
- Can I have a word with you?
789
00:32:01,049 --> 00:32:02,311
- Come on.
790
00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:24,638
k Hey baby, I've been thinking
791
00:32:25,030 --> 00:32:29,599
k You should come over for the
weekend
792
00:32:30,644 --> 00:32:34,909
k 'Cause I've been fiending
for computer love k
793
00:32:36,084 --> 00:32:37,433
- They say if he's gonna be all
right?
794
00:32:37,477 --> 00:32:38,739
Is he gonna be all right?
795
00:32:38,782 --> 00:32:39,827
- He's in some kind of
a coma or something.
796
00:32:39,870 --> 00:32:40,784
- Coma?
797
00:32:42,438 --> 00:32:44,788
- It's no wonder, all these
troubles and all this infighting
798
00:32:44,832 --> 00:32:46,225
and the bills.
799
00:32:46,268 --> 00:32:47,574
- What really happened?
800
00:32:47,617 --> 00:32:48,879
What did you guys do to him?
801
00:32:48,923 --> 00:32:52,622
- Nikki, these young men
are ministers of God.
802
00:32:52,666 --> 00:32:56,713
Besides, the paramedic
said he's saved his life.
803
00:32:56,757 --> 00:32:58,802
- Ministers of God, huh?
804
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:01,718
- Can I have a word with you?
805
00:33:01,762 --> 00:33:03,068
You boys new around here?
806
00:33:03,851 --> 00:33:04,678
- Yeah.
807
00:33:04,721 --> 00:33:06,375
Just got to town today.
808
00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:08,247
- Have I seen you guys before?
809
00:33:08,290 --> 00:33:09,596
- You never seen me nowhere.
810
00:33:09,639 --> 00:33:12,120
- They are replacement
ministers.
811
00:33:12,164 --> 00:33:13,643
- That's right.
812
00:33:13,687 --> 00:33:16,168
- I heard you two ministers
saved Rev. Hacker's life.
813
00:33:16,211 --> 00:33:17,865
- He's still got his DNA
in his mouth right now.
814
00:33:17,908 --> 00:33:19,127
Gave him mouth to mouth.
815
00:33:19,171 --> 00:33:20,781
- All right, welcome to the
neighborhood.
816
00:33:20,824 --> 00:33:24,437
- Inspire us, pastor! We know
you will!
817
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,395
Praise us Jesus! Ooh!
818
00:33:26,439 --> 00:33:28,832
- Okay Thelma, now you did it.
Now get on.
819
00:33:28,876 --> 00:33:30,225
Bye, Pastor.
820
00:33:31,357 --> 00:33:32,793
- I'll be talking to you later.
821
00:33:35,709 --> 00:33:36,797
- Call me.
822
00:33:37,363 --> 00:33:39,234
You see her, man? You see that?
823
00:33:39,887 --> 00:33:41,628
- I just got one question.
824
00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:45,066
When your lips first pressed
with another man's lips,
825
00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:46,154
how did it feel?
826
00:33:46,589 --> 00:33:48,852
- Man, I don't wanna talk about
it.
827
00:33:49,418 --> 00:33:50,550
Where's the van at?
828
00:33:50,593 --> 00:33:51,681
- The van was right here.
829
00:33:51,725 --> 00:33:53,118
- Man, how you lose the van?
830
00:33:53,161 --> 00:33:54,684
- I ain't lose the van.
831
00:33:54,728 --> 00:33:55,816
If the van was right here,
somebody must've stole it, man.
832
00:33:55,859 --> 00:33:57,470
It was right here.
833
00:33:57,513 --> 00:33:58,906
- It was probably that ticket
lady you got in trouble with,
834
00:33:58,949 --> 00:33:59,820
that's who was it.
835
00:33:59,863 --> 00:34:00,560
- The ticket lady liked me, man.
836
00:34:00,603 --> 00:34:01,300
- That's how--
837
00:34:01,343 --> 00:34:02,344
Eh man, that's our van!
838
00:34:05,478 --> 00:34:08,481
- You guys spit my lemon
face! Fat nose and dumb-dumb!
839
00:34:08,524 --> 00:34:10,135
Guess what? You're fired.
840
00:34:10,178 --> 00:34:11,527
- Why?
841
00:34:11,571 --> 00:34:13,094
- No more do you work for
Roach Stompers, no more!
842
00:34:13,138 --> 00:34:15,749
- Ali Babba, we worked hard
for you for three years, man.
843
00:34:15,792 --> 00:34:18,404
- You no work hard for Ali
Babba! You sit on your ass!
844
00:34:18,447 --> 00:34:20,884
You make up story, you
lie, you break thing!
845
00:34:20,928 --> 00:34:22,277
You're idiots! Imbecile!
846
00:34:22,321 --> 00:34:23,800
- Man, they be lying about
that, man, they lying.
847
00:34:23,844 --> 00:34:24,975
You didn't leave the office, how
you know?
848
00:34:26,281 --> 00:34:27,456
- Ali Babba from
Backtacklackbaba see everything!
849
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,415
- Fuck you, Ali Babba!
850
00:34:29,458 --> 00:34:30,503
- Fuck me, Ali Babba?
851
00:34:30,546 --> 00:34:31,895
- Fuck you, why don't you go eat
you
852
00:34:31,939 --> 00:34:34,202
a nice, big camel shit sandwich.
853
00:34:34,246 --> 00:34:35,073
- With sand.
854
00:34:35,116 --> 00:34:36,378
- Yeah, with mayo.
855
00:34:36,422 --> 00:34:37,640
A camel shit sandwich.
856
00:34:37,684 --> 00:34:39,512
- You say these mean things to
me?
857
00:34:39,903 --> 00:34:40,991
You say this?
858
00:34:45,300 --> 00:34:47,650
How could you do this to me?
859
00:34:47,694 --> 00:34:50,392
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Come, give
me hug.
860
00:34:50,436 --> 00:34:51,611
- Go give him a hug.
861
00:34:51,654 --> 00:34:53,134
- You give him a hug.
862
00:34:53,178 --> 00:34:54,483
- Job back, I'm sorry.
863
00:34:54,527 --> 00:34:55,789
- Man, don't be like
that, man.
864
00:34:55,832 --> 00:34:58,487
- Come on, it's okay,
we family, we family.
865
00:34:58,531 --> 00:35:00,402
Brother, come, come.
866
00:35:14,460 --> 00:35:15,722
- Oh shit!
867
00:35:24,426 --> 00:35:25,862
- I'm telling you right
now, we're gonna be here
868
00:35:25,906 --> 00:35:27,255
in five minutes, okay?
869
00:35:27,299 --> 00:35:29,649
I got places to go, people
to see, things to do.
870
00:35:29,692 --> 00:35:30,867
I can't be here but five
minutes.
871
00:35:30,911 --> 00:35:32,652
- What was that, man?
872
00:35:33,957 --> 00:35:35,263
- I seen every
karate movie, Jackie Chan,
873
00:35:35,307 --> 00:35:36,830
Jet Li, Bruce Lee.
874
00:35:36,873 --> 00:35:38,310
You got five minutes, we gotta
get up out of here, okay?
875
00:35:38,353 --> 00:35:39,093
Five minutes.
876
00:35:41,356 --> 00:35:42,923
- What you say about my mama?
877
00:35:42,966 --> 00:35:44,359
- Wait here.
878
00:35:46,056 --> 00:35:47,667
- That's what I thought you
said.
879
00:35:57,938 --> 00:35:59,461
- Welcome to Karate World.
880
00:35:59,505 --> 00:36:00,549
- Hey.
881
00:36:01,898 --> 00:36:06,773
- I am Han. Mr. Toshiba
Ohara's first daughter,
882
00:36:06,816 --> 00:36:08,601
we've been expecting you.
883
00:36:08,644 --> 00:36:11,343
- My name is Junior,
I'm my mama's first son,
884
00:36:11,386 --> 00:36:14,215
and I've been expecting you all
my life.
885
00:36:14,259 --> 00:36:16,609
You a dancer, baby? Where's the
pole at?
886
00:36:16,652 --> 00:36:21,657
- Mr. Junior, do I look like I
am nothing?
887
00:36:23,442 --> 00:36:26,401
There's no time for joke,
my father is waiting.
888
00:36:26,706 --> 00:36:27,707
Take your clothes off!
889
00:36:30,797 --> 00:36:33,147
- Ain't nobody taking
no clothes off, okay?
890
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:35,105
You trippin', man. Ain't
nobody taking nothing off.
891
00:36:35,149 --> 00:36:36,150
- Nothing off.
892
00:36:36,759 --> 00:36:37,978
- Take your clothes off.
893
00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:41,111
- Look mama, me too boo-koo.
894
00:36:41,155 --> 00:36:42,678
You don't wanna mess with this.
895
00:36:43,766 --> 00:36:45,072
- What the hell was that?
896
00:36:45,638 --> 00:36:46,726
Okay, okay.
897
00:36:48,380 --> 00:36:49,207
- What was that?
898
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:50,120
- It's a ninja in here, man.
899
00:36:50,164 --> 00:36:51,383
- Come with me.
900
00:36:52,384 --> 00:36:53,820
- Hurry up.
901
00:36:53,863 --> 00:36:55,343
- Eh man, what's up with
them drawers you got on, man?
902
00:36:55,387 --> 00:36:56,866
You a bisexual?
903
00:36:56,910 --> 00:36:58,607
- No, I ain't bisexual! Man,
these bikini briefs, man.
904
00:36:58,651 --> 00:37:00,218
- Why y'all doing this
to us!
905
00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:02,220
Why we in our drawers?
906
00:37:03,308 --> 00:37:07,050
- You butt cute. You two
black birds are a flying mess.
907
00:37:07,703 --> 00:37:08,704
You disappointed us.
908
00:37:08,748 --> 00:37:09,879
- What?
909
00:37:10,924 --> 00:37:12,882
- Do you know why you're here?
910
00:37:12,926 --> 00:37:13,535
- No.
- No.
911
00:37:13,579 --> 00:37:14,493
- Are you idiot?
912
00:37:17,626 --> 00:37:19,846
- See I told you, look, look.
It's one of them places.
913
00:37:19,889 --> 00:37:20,934
- Turn around.
914
00:37:23,806 --> 00:37:25,112
- What the hell is that?
915
00:37:27,288 --> 00:37:28,724
He just ate a fly!
916
00:37:29,334 --> 00:37:30,857
- This must be the ugliest
motherfucker
917
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:32,467
I've ever seen in my life.
918
00:37:36,210 --> 00:37:37,255
- You go down.
919
00:37:38,865 --> 00:37:40,040
- Eh man, why are we in our
drawers? What's this all about?
920
00:37:42,782 --> 00:37:44,349
- Hey man, this is a real nice
place, man.
921
00:37:44,392 --> 00:37:45,654
You hooked this place up, man.
922
00:37:46,655 --> 00:37:48,266
Lights right there,
that's hot right there.
923
00:37:48,309 --> 00:37:49,702
Little Rick James--
924
00:37:49,745 --> 00:37:51,094
- Ha!
925
00:37:51,138 --> 00:37:54,794
The overturned nest
produces many cracked eggs,
926
00:37:54,837 --> 00:37:57,318
but the squirrel must eat the
dandelion.
927
00:37:57,362 --> 00:37:59,015
- What's that a recipe or
something?
928
00:38:01,583 --> 00:38:04,978
- Do you know who we are?
929
00:38:05,326 --> 00:38:06,632
- A group of hairstylists?
930
00:38:08,155 --> 00:38:09,374
- Do you know who we are?
931
00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:10,897
- Katt Williams daddy?
932
00:38:12,246 --> 00:38:14,683
- Do you know who we are?
933
00:38:15,118 --> 00:38:16,294
- A gay wizard?
934
00:38:18,513 --> 00:38:22,082
- It is better to be a chicken's
head than an ox's rump.
935
00:38:23,518 --> 00:38:24,606
- What?
936
00:38:24,650 --> 00:38:27,043
- The bumblebee swims at night.
937
00:38:27,087 --> 00:38:29,002
- Hey, hey!
938
00:38:29,045 --> 00:38:33,223
- You boys owe me a lot of
money.
939
00:38:33,267 --> 00:38:34,181
- What money?
940
00:38:34,224 --> 00:38:35,313
- We don't got no money.
941
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:37,663
- This one, when even faced with
danger,
942
00:38:37,706 --> 00:38:39,708
he continues to lie.
943
00:38:42,537 --> 00:38:44,887
- In the Japanese
culture,
944
00:38:45,497 --> 00:38:49,936
you steal from one store,
you steal from all my stores.
945
00:38:52,591 --> 00:38:54,332
We have you on the camera.
946
00:38:54,375 --> 00:38:56,943
- Camera my idea, new
generation.
947
00:38:56,986 --> 00:39:00,642
- You owe me 10,000 big one.
948
00:39:00,686 --> 00:39:02,078
- 10,000 big ones?
949
00:39:02,122 --> 00:39:03,515
Oh come on, man, it wasn't no
10,000--
950
00:39:06,082 --> 00:39:09,347
- Show them
what we do with liars.
951
00:39:10,043 --> 00:39:11,044
- Hai!
952
00:39:17,572 --> 00:39:19,313
- Mr. Ohara, we ain't take your
money.
953
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:20,793
I ain't take your money.
954
00:39:20,836 --> 00:39:22,664
You know y'all got small eyes.
955
00:39:22,708 --> 00:39:23,839
Somebody that look just like
me--
956
00:39:23,883 --> 00:39:25,972
We all look alike! We all look
alike!
957
00:39:26,407 --> 00:39:30,933
- You have seven days to return
my money.
958
00:39:30,977 --> 00:39:32,239
Seven days.
959
00:39:32,718 --> 00:39:33,762
- This ain't Roots.
960
00:39:33,806 --> 00:39:36,722
- Then, we do the final blow.
961
00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:42,554
- Seven days, if not, two
black birds fall from sky,
962
00:39:42,597 --> 00:39:45,339
hit the rock and end their
journey.
963
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:50,388
- Don't forget, we know where
you are.
964
00:40:16,065 --> 00:40:18,198
- You better back up
before you get smacked up.
965
00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:23,029
- Man what the hell you
done got me into now?
966
00:40:23,072 --> 00:40:24,639
I'm on probation, Freddy.
967
00:40:24,683 --> 00:40:26,598
- That ain't my fault, they
came and got both of us, man.
968
00:40:27,381 --> 00:40:28,687
You and me.
969
00:40:28,730 --> 00:40:30,863
If we'd both got the
money and kept the money,
970
00:40:30,906 --> 00:40:33,039
both of us would've spent the
money.
971
00:40:33,082 --> 00:40:34,475
- 10,000 dollars!
- Come on, man.
972
00:40:35,215 --> 00:40:39,175
- You ain't got $10,000.
I ain't got $10,000.
973
00:40:40,394 --> 00:40:42,396
We in trouble and it's your
fault.
974
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:43,571
- Man, come on, man.
975
00:40:43,615 --> 00:40:44,485
- You know what you deserve
right now?
976
00:40:44,529 --> 00:40:47,270
A $10,000 ass whipping.
977
00:40:47,314 --> 00:40:49,272
Those people gonna kill us, man.
978
00:40:49,316 --> 00:40:50,752
- Man, they ain't gonna kill us,
man.
979
00:40:50,796 --> 00:40:52,928
- Come on, man, get out my face,
man.
980
00:40:53,276 --> 00:40:54,974
- You really mad at me, man?
981
00:40:55,017 --> 00:40:56,323
- I am really mad at you.
982
00:40:56,366 --> 00:40:58,281
If I wasn't on probation, hey
trust me,
983
00:40:58,325 --> 00:41:00,153
they'd be pulling me off you
right now.
984
00:41:00,196 --> 00:41:01,676
So get the stepping.
985
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,286
- You feeling froggish, Junior?
986
00:41:03,722 --> 00:41:05,419
Then leap, Junior! Step up,
Junior!
987
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:06,812
Get some of this, Junior.
988
00:41:06,855 --> 00:41:07,682
I'll be waiting for you
to give me the invitation
989
00:41:07,726 --> 00:41:09,249
to smack this blackness.
990
00:41:09,292 --> 00:41:11,469
When we was in the dojo, and
Jet Li was smacking your ass
991
00:41:11,512 --> 00:41:13,906
with them sticks, your ass
didn't say a damn thing, Junior.
992
00:41:13,949 --> 00:41:15,211
You ain't say nothing, Junior.
993
00:41:15,255 --> 00:41:16,517
The bitch just dripped
out your bloodstream,
994
00:41:16,561 --> 00:41:17,997
you didn't say nothing to them--
995
00:41:22,175 --> 00:41:23,698
Eh man, time out, time out.
996
00:41:23,742 --> 00:41:27,093
- You got what they call a
short memory, you can't beat me.
997
00:41:28,311 --> 00:41:29,051
Remember?
998
00:41:29,095 --> 00:41:30,183
- All right, okay.
999
00:41:30,226 --> 00:41:31,750
- Get your ass up.
1000
00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:38,452
- That's it.
1001
00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:40,106
- Like magic!
1002
00:41:40,846 --> 00:41:42,195
- I got it.
1003
00:41:43,283 --> 00:41:44,806
We going back to church.
1004
00:41:44,850 --> 00:41:46,112
Remember the church they
thought we was preachers?
1005
00:41:46,155 --> 00:41:46,982
Come on.
- You sound crazy man.
1006
00:41:47,026 --> 00:41:48,288
We're not preachers.
1007
00:41:48,331 --> 00:41:49,463
- Tomorrow's gonna be
200 people in the church
1008
00:41:49,942 --> 00:41:51,421
waiting to hear us preach.
1009
00:41:51,465 --> 00:41:53,293
Waiting to give us their money.
1010
00:41:53,336 --> 00:41:55,164
Man, church is the
world's greatest hustle.
1011
00:41:55,208 --> 00:41:58,037
If that fool can get my mama
to send him $50 every month,
1012
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,560
we can con a church once.
1013
00:41:59,604 --> 00:42:01,562
Come on, them churches
make thousands of dollars
1014
00:42:01,606 --> 00:42:03,172
every Sunday.
1015
00:42:03,608 --> 00:42:04,478
You got a suit?
1016
00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:05,653
- Yeah, I got a suit, why?
1017
00:42:05,697 --> 00:42:06,785
- That's all you need.
1018
00:42:09,004 --> 00:42:10,310
- Your plan better work.
1019
00:42:10,353 --> 00:42:11,616
It better work.
1020
00:42:12,094 --> 00:42:13,008
- It'll work, man.
1021
00:42:13,052 --> 00:42:14,314
- It'd better work.
1022
00:42:14,357 --> 00:42:16,751
Bust your ass down to the white
meat.
1023
00:42:17,317 --> 00:42:20,625
- To the white
meat? Come on, man.
1024
00:42:22,627 --> 00:42:23,845
Me and you, Junior.
1025
00:42:34,203 --> 00:42:35,596
- Oh, hi Pastor.
1026
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:36,989
- Good morning, Sister.
1027
00:42:37,337 --> 00:42:38,207
- Good morning.
1028
00:42:38,251 --> 00:42:40,253
What is that, your prom suit?
1029
00:42:40,296 --> 00:42:41,994
- What you talking
about, this a throwback.
1030
00:42:42,037 --> 00:42:43,865
It's tight, because it's
couture.
1031
00:42:43,909 --> 00:42:45,519
Diddy got the same jacket.
1032
00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,739
- Look, I want to apologize for
yesterday,
1033
00:42:47,782 --> 00:42:50,611
we weren't properly
introduced, I'm Nikki Stevens.
1034
00:42:54,049 --> 00:42:55,137
And you are?
1035
00:42:55,181 --> 00:42:58,532
- I'm a pastor. Pastor Don
Cornelius,
1036
00:42:58,576 --> 00:42:59,794
but people call me Freddy.
1037
00:42:59,838 --> 00:43:02,797
- Don Cornelius, like the Soul
Train dude?
1038
00:43:03,276 --> 00:43:04,625
- Or Freddy.
1039
00:43:04,669 --> 00:43:06,105
- I came a little bit
early to show you around.
1040
00:43:06,148 --> 00:43:07,759
In the mornings, I usually
unlock.
1041
00:43:07,802 --> 00:43:09,804
And the office is back there.
1042
00:43:10,370 --> 00:43:13,547
And today's reading is on
Ezekiel 37.
1043
00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:16,594
You know, the one about God's
promise to restore his people.
1044
00:43:16,637 --> 00:43:19,553
Like dry bones coming to life.
1045
00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:21,207
You might want to throw
that in your sermon.
1046
00:43:22,991 --> 00:43:24,166
- Ezekiel?
- Yes.
1047
00:43:24,210 --> 00:43:25,211
- The guy that works down at the
car wash?
1048
00:43:25,254 --> 00:43:26,647
Charges you detaling?
1049
00:43:26,691 --> 00:43:30,651
Down on--you don't mean
that Ezekiel, do you?
1050
00:43:30,695 --> 00:43:32,131
You talking about somebody
different?
1051
00:43:32,174 --> 00:43:33,828
- Yeah, the one in the Bible.
1052
00:43:34,437 --> 00:43:36,614
- Ezekiel? Oh!
1053
00:43:36,657 --> 00:43:37,876
You mean Zekiel?
1054
00:43:37,919 --> 00:43:40,443
It's pronounced Zekiel,
because the E, you see,
1055
00:43:40,487 --> 00:43:42,402
has the accent over it,
E-zekiel, it's pronounced.
1056
00:43:42,445 --> 00:43:43,838
- Are you really a minister?
1057
00:43:43,882 --> 00:43:44,970
- Ordained.
1058
00:43:45,013 --> 00:43:47,320
I went to school down in
Mississippi.
1059
00:43:47,363 --> 00:43:50,540
Great Baptist University of
Moses.
1060
00:43:50,584 --> 00:43:52,064
- I've never heard of that one.
1061
00:43:52,107 --> 00:43:53,282
- It's real small though.
1062
00:43:53,326 --> 00:43:54,370
- I see.
1063
00:43:55,676 --> 00:43:57,896
Brother Efrom, have you
met Pastor Cornelius?
1064
00:43:57,939 --> 00:43:59,549
- Good morning, Brother.
1065
00:43:59,593 --> 00:44:01,073
- Good morning.
1066
00:44:02,857 --> 00:44:05,338
- Cornelius, yeah you
look like you would know
1067
00:44:05,381 --> 00:44:06,992
the latest dance steps.
1068
00:44:07,035 --> 00:44:09,472
We met yesterday with Pastor
Hacker.
1069
00:44:09,516 --> 00:44:11,039
- And the deacon, where is he?
1070
00:44:15,043 --> 00:44:17,698
- The deacon? Oh! Deacon Jones.
1071
00:44:17,742 --> 00:44:19,744
Yeah, he's running a little
bit late this morning,
1072
00:44:19,787 --> 00:44:21,615
he was up all night long
praying.
1073
00:44:23,008 --> 00:44:25,924
You know, God is like a
crack house, always open.
1074
00:44:25,967 --> 00:44:27,186
- Crack house?
1075
00:44:29,754 --> 00:44:31,843
k Yeah, I'm a G
1076
00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:36,282
k Them revenues and that
bologna, hey
1077
00:44:38,371 --> 00:44:39,633
k What you feel, what you want
1078
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:42,331
k Do you want my body
1079
00:44:42,375 --> 00:44:45,204
k When you know when
you really want somebody
1080
00:44:46,248 --> 00:44:47,554
k Hey, you
1081
00:44:47,859 --> 00:44:49,208
k I'm super hot
1082
00:44:50,078 --> 00:44:51,645
k Let me spin one time
1083
00:44:53,038 --> 00:44:54,996
k I'm super hot, girl k
1084
00:44:57,651 --> 00:44:59,087
- Something wrong?
1085
00:44:59,784 --> 00:45:01,786
Nigga, you said wear a
suit, right? This is a suit.
1086
00:45:01,829 --> 00:45:03,396
- Excuse me, just give me a
second.
1087
00:45:03,439 --> 00:45:04,919
I gotta go meet with my
disciples.
1088
00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:08,531
- I'm not gonna be getting
embarrassed by you, okay?
1089
00:45:08,575 --> 00:45:10,011
What you pushing me back here
for?
1090
00:45:10,577 --> 00:45:11,752
- What was that?
1091
00:45:12,144 --> 00:45:14,537
- I don't know.
1092
00:45:15,147 --> 00:45:16,975
- You look very pretty today,
Nikki.
1093
00:45:17,018 --> 00:45:20,761
No, I take that back. You
are looking beautiful today.
1094
00:45:20,805 --> 00:45:22,371
- Thanks, Efrom.
1095
00:45:24,199 --> 00:45:26,767
- You won't be acting like that
when I takeover this church.
1096
00:45:26,811 --> 00:45:28,334
- What you say?
1097
00:45:28,377 --> 00:45:31,772
- Remember, to be blessed,
one must first be a blessing.
1098
00:45:37,822 --> 00:45:39,737
- Man, what is wrong with you?
1099
00:45:39,780 --> 00:45:40,955
What is you supposed to be?
1100
00:45:40,999 --> 00:45:41,956
- What do you mean, "be"?
1101
00:45:43,566 --> 00:45:47,222
This is fly, okay? Me, I'm
looking like a black Don
Johnson.
1102
00:45:47,266 --> 00:45:48,310
You got a problem with that?
1103
00:45:48,354 --> 00:45:49,616
- That's exactly right, Junior.
1104
00:45:49,659 --> 00:45:52,401
And Miami Vice been off
the air for 25 years.
1105
00:45:52,445 --> 00:45:53,576
- I ain't come here for that.
1106
00:45:54,926 --> 00:45:56,492
Go out there and preach.
1107
00:45:56,536 --> 00:45:57,842
Get that money.
1108
00:45:57,885 --> 00:46:00,801
We gonna go back, pay
these people, and go home.
1109
00:46:00,845 --> 00:46:01,715
Okay?
1110
00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:03,021
- That's it, that's the plan.
1111
00:46:05,850 --> 00:46:07,242
What's it look like? We good?
1112
00:46:07,286 --> 00:46:09,592
- Oh yeah, we gonna be
rolling in it, rolling.
1113
00:46:10,028 --> 00:46:12,770
- Get ready, today. Get
ready for the new pastor.
1114
00:46:15,598 --> 00:46:16,817
- God's pastor.
1115
00:46:16,861 --> 00:46:18,079
- Let him stay there
for a while.
1116
00:46:18,123 --> 00:46:19,385
- One, two, three!
1117
00:46:24,390 --> 00:46:25,695
- Something's wrong.
1118
00:46:26,522 --> 00:46:27,828
- They dead, that's
what it is.
1119
00:46:27,872 --> 00:46:29,395
- What's that he has
on?
1120
00:46:29,438 --> 00:46:32,093
- I don't know, but I
need to take him shopping.
1121
00:46:32,137 --> 00:46:33,094
- You sure do.
1122
00:46:33,138 --> 00:46:33,834
- Amen.
1123
00:46:33,878 --> 00:46:34,835
- Amen!
1124
00:46:34,879 --> 00:46:35,793
- Ma?
- Mm-hmm.
1125
00:46:35,836 --> 00:46:37,098
- Is Pastor Hacker dead?
1126
00:46:37,142 --> 00:46:39,274
- No, fool, these are
replacement ministers.
1127
00:46:39,318 --> 00:46:41,233
- I'm just asking. Why
you always getting mad?
1128
00:46:41,276 --> 00:46:43,104
- If you don't shut up, if I
didn't need this welfare money,
1129
00:46:43,148 --> 00:46:44,540
I swear I'll kill you.
1130
00:46:44,584 --> 00:46:47,065
- I said, can I get an Amen?
1131
00:46:47,108 --> 00:46:48,327
- Amen!
1132
00:46:48,370 --> 00:46:50,851
- That's better. Come on, let me
hear you.
1133
00:46:50,895 --> 00:46:52,418
I mean come on, this is a
church.
1134
00:46:52,853 --> 00:46:54,855
- Them pants is way too tight,
mama.
1135
00:46:54,899 --> 00:46:58,467
- Church full up with love,
love just floating all around.
1136
00:46:58,511 --> 00:47:00,426
- I can see an imprint of his
balls, mama.
1137
00:47:02,776 --> 00:47:04,647
- Baby, I think that was for me
to say.
1138
00:47:04,691 --> 00:47:06,736
I don't think you're supposed
to be looking at balls.
1139
00:47:06,780 --> 00:47:09,174
- Like turn to your
neighbor, give 'em a hug.
1140
00:47:11,567 --> 00:47:14,396
Now turn and do the same
thing to your other neighbor.
1141
00:47:16,659 --> 00:47:18,923
Now I want everybody in the
church to say,
1142
00:47:18,966 --> 00:47:21,447
"Deacon Jones's suit is the
defecation."
1143
00:47:21,490 --> 00:47:22,404
- Huh?
- What?
1144
00:47:22,448 --> 00:47:24,319
- Looks like a Temptations suit.
1145
00:47:24,624 --> 00:47:25,799
- The defecation.
1146
00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:26,582
- What?
1147
00:47:26,626 --> 00:47:28,106
- What is he, a pimp?
1148
00:47:30,195 --> 00:47:33,198
- Well, without further
ado, I'm gonna bring on
1149
00:47:33,241 --> 00:47:34,068
Brother Efrom.
1150
00:47:39,682 --> 00:47:41,206
- Praise the Lord, church.
1151
00:47:41,249 --> 00:47:42,468
- Praise the Lord!
1152
00:47:42,511 --> 00:47:43,948
- This week is a special
week in the church,
1153
00:47:43,991 --> 00:47:46,298
giving that next week is Easter
Sunday.
1154
00:47:46,341 --> 00:47:48,474
And you can purchase lilies for
the alter
1155
00:47:48,517 --> 00:47:50,911
through our beautiful
decorating committee.
1156
00:47:50,955 --> 00:47:53,696
And a prayer group for
Pastor Hacker will be meeting
1157
00:47:53,740 --> 00:47:55,176
after the service.
1158
00:47:55,220 --> 00:47:57,396
Now I was all set to give the
word today.
1159
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:02,183
I said, I was all set
to give the word today!
1160
00:48:02,227 --> 00:48:03,706
- Come on, Efrom, sit on down
1161
00:48:03,750 --> 00:48:05,273
and bring the new ministers out.
1162
00:48:05,317 --> 00:48:07,493
- Who wants to hear the word
today?
1163
00:48:07,841 --> 00:48:10,626
Somebody. Anybody! Everybody!
1164
00:48:10,670 --> 00:48:12,019
Want to hear the word today.
1165
00:48:12,063 --> 00:48:13,020
- Man
this ain't Stomp the Yard,
1166
00:48:13,064 --> 00:48:14,587
stomp on off the stage.
1167
00:48:15,544 --> 00:48:17,285
- Okay, if that's how you feel.
1168
00:48:17,329 --> 00:48:22,334
It is my pleasure to introduce
Pastor Don Cornelius,
1169
00:48:23,944 --> 00:48:24,902
come on up, brother.
1170
00:48:31,082 --> 00:48:32,605
- God damn, he need a sandwich.
1171
00:48:32,648 --> 00:48:34,215
- Morning, congregation.
1172
00:48:35,869 --> 00:48:36,739
You look lovely.
1173
00:48:36,783 --> 00:48:38,045
- Yes.
1174
00:48:38,089 --> 00:48:39,046
- Yes, this is our house.
- Especially you.
1175
00:48:40,395 --> 00:48:42,876
- They call me Reverend
Pastor Doctor Good God!
1176
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:43,616
- Good God.
1177
00:48:43,659 --> 00:48:45,183
- Good God!
1178
00:48:45,661 --> 00:48:47,054
- They both got a lot of teeth.
1179
00:48:47,098 --> 00:48:48,751
- 'Cause I'm filled with the
holy spirit.
1180
00:48:49,274 --> 00:48:50,362
Can you hear it?
1181
00:48:50,405 --> 00:48:51,102
- Amen.
1182
00:48:51,145 --> 00:48:52,625
- Amen!
1183
00:48:54,714 --> 00:48:57,543
- We're gonna talk about
Jesus who's sippin',
1184
00:48:57,586 --> 00:48:58,979
Kobe snitchin'.
1185
00:48:59,023 --> 00:49:00,111
- Go on, Preacher.
1186
00:49:00,154 --> 00:49:02,243
- I'm gonna talk about Bobby and
Whitney.
1187
00:49:02,287 --> 00:49:03,201
- Bobby and Whitney.
1188
00:49:03,244 --> 00:49:04,680
- And bald-headed Britney.
1189
00:49:04,724 --> 00:49:06,117
- Bald-headed.
1190
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,511
- I'ma talk about Barack
Obama, and your baby's mama.
1191
00:49:09,555 --> 00:49:10,469
- Should've used a condom.
1192
00:49:10,512 --> 00:49:12,166
- Say it, deacon. Say it!
1193
00:49:12,210 --> 00:49:14,777
- What is this, Reverend Run
DMC?
1194
00:49:14,821 --> 00:49:17,128
- I don't know what you've
heard, but this is how we
1195
00:49:17,171 --> 00:49:18,477
preach the word.
1196
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:19,695
- I like his style.
1197
00:49:19,739 --> 00:49:21,697
- You all out there misbehaving,
1198
00:49:21,741 --> 00:49:23,786
but in this church,
you'll find your saving.
1199
00:49:23,830 --> 00:49:25,484
- Lord, yes it is!
1200
00:49:25,527 --> 00:49:26,615
- Preach, Preacher.
1201
00:49:26,659 --> 00:49:28,487
- It's good, because God spoke
to me.
1202
00:49:29,053 --> 00:49:30,184
He spoke to me.
1203
00:49:30,228 --> 00:49:31,446
- What did God
say?
1204
00:49:31,490 --> 00:49:33,927
- What he say? He said,
"Today is your day!"
1205
00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:35,146
- Your day.
1206
00:49:35,189 --> 00:49:37,670
- And your day, your day, and
your day.
1207
00:49:37,931 --> 00:49:39,106
- Amen.
1208
00:49:39,846 --> 00:49:41,021
- That's how Reverend Paid do.
1209
00:49:41,065 --> 00:49:42,980
- So let me ask you a question,
1210
00:49:44,068 --> 00:49:45,460
what do you do for the church?
1211
00:49:45,504 --> 00:49:46,896
Yeah, you right here.
1212
00:49:46,940 --> 00:49:50,422
- Me? Oh, well I want
to cook for the church.
1213
00:49:50,465 --> 00:49:53,207
But Pastor Hacker, he said
the congregation is too small.
1214
00:49:53,251 --> 00:49:54,861
And I can cook anything.
1215
00:49:54,904 --> 00:49:55,993
- She can cook.
1216
00:49:56,036 --> 00:49:58,299
- Mm-hmm, fried chicken, candied
yams,
1217
00:49:58,343 --> 00:49:59,474
- Yams the shit.
- greens.
1218
00:50:00,954 --> 00:50:04,175
I can cook anything you
like, especially for him.
1219
00:50:04,740 --> 00:50:07,047
I'm Miss Tanya. I like that
suit.
1220
00:50:07,091 --> 00:50:10,790
- Deacon Jones!
Give that dog a bone.
1221
00:50:10,833 --> 00:50:14,098
- And what about you, brother,
in the Fonzerelli jacket?
1222
00:50:14,141 --> 00:50:17,840
- My name's Derrick. I got
some musical abilities.
1223
00:50:18,537 --> 00:50:20,365
Let's face it, man, this band
sucks.
1224
00:50:20,408 --> 00:50:21,975
No offense guys, but I mean you
know,
1225
00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:23,411
with a little effort we could
really
1226
00:50:23,455 --> 00:50:24,978
drop it like it's hot in here.
1227
00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,327
- Can you rev it for the
Reverend?
1228
00:50:26,371 --> 00:50:27,459
- I can rev it.
1229
00:50:27,502 --> 00:50:29,765
- Can you, lean
with it?
1230
00:50:29,809 --> 00:50:31,637
Can you bop-bop-bop with it?
1231
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:32,986
- I can rev it for the Rev!
1232
00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:34,901
- And what about you, Junior
Jamie?
1233
00:50:34,944 --> 00:50:36,772
On any given Sunday can you
bring it?
1234
00:50:36,816 --> 00:50:39,297
Good goobly-goo, you gonna
make it do what it do?
1235
00:50:39,340 --> 00:50:41,777
Huh? Evil Jamie?
1236
00:50:43,649 --> 00:50:45,520
It may be time to take an
offering.
1237
00:50:45,564 --> 00:50:46,565
All right, are you gonna reach
for me?
1238
00:50:46,608 --> 00:50:48,349
- Be fruitful and multiply.
1239
00:50:50,003 --> 00:50:52,614
- Sorry, I don't have any
money, maybe next Sunday.
1240
00:50:52,658 --> 00:50:55,095
- Reach deep, but don't
be cheap!
1241
00:50:55,139 --> 00:50:56,227
- Don't be cheap.
1242
00:50:56,270 --> 00:50:58,055
- Oh I got something big for the
church.
1243
00:50:58,098 --> 00:51:00,100
- Reach deep!
- Down to your ankles
1244
00:51:00,144 --> 00:51:01,145
- Don't be cheap, now.
1245
00:51:01,188 --> 00:51:02,102
- I got something for the
church.
1246
00:51:02,146 --> 00:51:03,582
- Go on and put the money.
1247
00:51:03,625 --> 00:51:05,236
Put the money in the basket.
1248
00:51:05,932 --> 00:51:07,368
There you go.
1249
00:51:07,412 --> 00:51:09,457
- So thank you, that's the
conclusion of our service,
1250
00:51:09,501 --> 00:51:11,242
and I've given you the holy
spirit,
1251
00:51:11,285 --> 00:51:12,939
and I was glad you was here to
hear it.
1252
00:51:12,982 --> 00:51:15,246
And I'd like to take a
moment for Pastor Hacker,
1253
00:51:15,289 --> 00:51:16,812
a moment of silence.
1254
00:51:18,466 --> 00:51:19,728
That's enough.
1255
00:51:19,772 --> 00:51:21,121
Everybody gather around.
1256
00:51:22,818 --> 00:51:24,211
They feeling us, Junior,
they're feeling us.
1257
00:51:24,255 --> 00:51:25,430
What did I tell you? What I tell
you?
1258
00:51:25,473 --> 00:51:26,431
- There's only about four or
five dollars
1259
00:51:26,474 --> 00:51:27,562
in the collection plate.
1260
00:51:27,606 --> 00:51:29,042
- That was wonderful, pastor.
1261
00:51:29,086 --> 00:51:33,046
- You're like a tall glass
of water, and I'm thirsty.
1262
00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:35,135
- You did a wonderful job up
there today,
1263
00:51:35,179 --> 00:51:36,745
and you wait till next week.
1264
00:51:36,789 --> 00:51:39,226
Easter, a lot of people gonna
be here to hear you preach.
1265
00:51:39,270 --> 00:51:41,794
- We gonna raise $10,000 in
seven days.
1266
00:51:42,490 --> 00:51:44,971
Now I know I've only been here
for a week,
1267
00:51:45,014 --> 00:51:46,581
and y'all thinking, "He's
crazy."
1268
00:51:47,104 --> 00:51:48,757
Well I am crazy.
1269
00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:50,281
Crazy for the Lord.
1270
00:51:51,978 --> 00:51:53,153
We're gonna fix the ceiling.
1271
00:51:53,197 --> 00:51:54,023
- Yes!
1272
00:51:54,067 --> 00:51:55,286
- Paint the pews.
1273
00:51:55,329 --> 00:51:56,461
Lighten Deacon Jones.
1274
00:51:57,766 --> 00:51:59,072
I'm just playing now, you know.
1275
00:51:59,116 --> 00:52:00,943
So we're gonna return here
tomorrow night,
1276
00:52:00,987 --> 00:52:03,685
each and every one of you
with five to ten people
1277
00:52:04,686 --> 00:52:07,036
for a special night of healing.
1278
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,127
- Wait a minute? You gonna heal
someone?
1279
00:52:10,170 --> 00:52:11,954
- That's right, little brother,
we're gonna heal someone
1280
00:52:11,998 --> 00:52:13,260
tomorrow night.
1281
00:52:20,746 --> 00:52:21,616
- You're something.
1282
00:52:21,660 --> 00:52:23,314
I've been around a long time,
1283
00:52:23,357 --> 00:52:25,229
ain't never heard no preacher
like that.
1284
00:52:25,272 --> 00:52:28,188
I want to join the
church. I want to belong.
1285
00:52:28,232 --> 00:52:29,581
Name's Benny.
1286
00:52:30,016 --> 00:52:31,409
- Welcome, brother Benny.
1287
00:52:31,452 --> 00:52:33,237
Let the church say Amen.
1288
00:52:33,802 --> 00:52:34,977
- Amen.
1289
00:52:36,718 --> 00:52:38,590
- What's all this talking
about healing somebody, man?
1290
00:52:38,633 --> 00:52:39,982
We can't heal nobody.
1291
00:52:40,026 --> 00:52:41,419
- Just come to the back,
come on, you trippin',
1292
00:52:41,462 --> 00:52:43,203
just come on to the back.
1293
00:52:46,772 --> 00:52:50,341
You got some water to cool
me off, because I'm on fire.
1294
00:52:50,384 --> 00:52:52,212
- Look, this done went too far.
1295
00:52:52,256 --> 00:52:53,082
I mean, we ought to be thinking
about
1296
00:52:53,126 --> 00:52:54,432
trying to get out of here.
1297
00:52:54,475 --> 00:52:56,085
You talking about coming back
tomorrow?
1298
00:52:56,129 --> 00:52:57,304
- Man, will you just chill out?
1299
00:52:57,348 --> 00:52:58,697
Where's the money we collected
today?
1300
00:52:58,740 --> 00:53:02,179
- Gave it all to that
Nikki woman, about 150.
1301
00:53:02,222 --> 00:53:03,441
- That's it?
1302
00:53:03,484 --> 00:53:05,225
- That's what I'm trying
to tell you, stupid.
1303
00:53:05,269 --> 00:53:06,531
- Today was only the first day.
1304
00:53:06,574 --> 00:53:08,837
And next Sunday, well
next Sunday is Easter,
1305
00:53:08,881 --> 00:53:11,013
we're gonna be rolling in the
dough, baby.
1306
00:53:11,492 --> 00:53:16,497
- Apparently, there have been
several of our VIP memberships
1307
00:53:16,889 --> 00:53:20,719
bootleg in nature, that
were purchased online.
1308
00:53:21,415 --> 00:53:23,504
These are platinum memberships,
1309
00:53:23,548 --> 00:53:25,985
so y'all six in the
front row is gonna have
1310
00:53:26,028 --> 00:53:27,987
to vacate immediately, okay?
1311
00:53:28,030 --> 00:53:30,207
Please don't cause a fuss.
1312
00:53:39,868 --> 00:53:41,827
- It's healing time. Okay.
1313
00:53:44,090 --> 00:53:46,919
Let me guess where the
devil is.
1314
00:53:50,314 --> 00:53:52,185
- All I can think about
ever since you put out
1315
00:53:52,229 --> 00:53:54,709
the building fund
challenge is all the stuff
1316
00:53:54,753 --> 00:53:58,235
that the church needs, you
know, like new song books,
1317
00:53:58,278 --> 00:54:00,019
half the robes are moth-eaten.
1318
00:54:00,062 --> 00:54:02,151
In the kitchen, the
refrigerator,
and the stove don't work.
1319
00:54:02,195 --> 00:54:03,501
- Damn!
1320
00:54:03,979 --> 00:54:05,590
I'm sorry, Sister.
1321
00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:08,375
Y'all don't need Jesus,
y'all need a genie.
1322
00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:11,813
- You're just so different.
1323
00:54:11,857 --> 00:54:13,467
- Different, like how? Like kind
of--
1324
00:54:13,511 --> 00:54:15,382
- Well I mean you're funny, you
know.
1325
00:54:15,426 --> 00:54:19,473
You're loose, and most
pastors are uptight, stuffy.
1326
00:54:19,517 --> 00:54:20,735
- Like Brother Efrom?
1327
00:54:20,779 --> 00:54:22,694
- Enough about him, that guy
right there--
1328
00:54:23,085 --> 00:54:24,348
Oh!
1329
00:54:24,391 --> 00:54:26,611
- Oh it's just a little
a little itsy fly. Bug.
1330
00:54:26,654 --> 00:54:29,962
I used to deal with bugs
back in the day, long story.
1331
00:54:30,441 --> 00:54:31,268
- So--
1332
00:54:31,311 --> 00:54:32,834
- Everything okay over here?
1333
00:54:32,878 --> 00:54:34,096
- Fantastic and sensational,
thank you very much.
1334
00:54:34,140 --> 00:54:35,489
- Hallelujah.
1335
00:54:35,533 --> 00:54:36,360
- I'd like to
see you on Sunday, sister.
1336
00:54:37,970 --> 00:54:41,103
- Okay so why don't you tell
me a little bit about yourself,
1337
00:54:41,147 --> 00:54:43,845
what did you do before
this, where is your family?
1338
00:54:43,889 --> 00:54:45,499
Like, who are you?
1339
00:54:45,543 --> 00:54:48,328
- I used to be in sales, then
my family moved to Jerusalem.
1340
00:54:48,372 --> 00:54:52,245
- Family? So there's a Mrs.
Cornelius?
1341
00:54:52,289 --> 00:54:53,725
- No, there's a daughter.
1342
00:54:53,768 --> 00:54:54,726
- A daughter?
1343
00:54:54,769 --> 00:54:55,901
- She's with my mama right now.
1344
00:54:57,424 --> 00:55:00,384
- And her mother? And please
don't tell me she's dead.
1345
00:55:00,427 --> 00:55:01,689
- She is dead.
1346
00:55:02,168 --> 00:55:02,951
Cancer.
1347
00:55:02,995 --> 00:55:04,213
- Oh.
1348
00:55:04,910 --> 00:55:06,999
- But it was a long time
ago, we're over it now.
1349
00:55:07,042 --> 00:55:09,393
It's just me and my little girl
now.
1350
00:55:10,742 --> 00:55:12,787
- So, what's your daughter like?
1351
00:55:12,831 --> 00:55:14,876
- My daughter, like any other
crazy kid,
1352
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:16,225
always hitting me up for stuff.
1353
00:55:17,836 --> 00:55:19,446
Right now, she wants a piano,
she wants to be Alicia Keys.
1354
00:55:19,490 --> 00:55:20,534
I told her, "You can't be Janet,
1355
00:55:20,578 --> 00:55:21,883
"because Janet just be popping
out.
1356
00:55:21,927 --> 00:55:23,450
"I don't want you popping
out 'til you're 35."
1357
00:55:23,494 --> 00:55:24,843
Jesus don't like 'em out.
1358
00:55:24,886 --> 00:55:26,932
So Alicia Keys is what we ended
up with.
1359
00:55:26,975 --> 00:55:28,368
- No, it's a shame she's not
with you,
1360
00:55:28,412 --> 00:55:30,805
because we have a piano
and I'm sure she'd love it.
1361
00:55:30,849 --> 00:55:32,590
- I'm just not sure you
guys would love her playing.
1362
00:55:35,984 --> 00:55:38,509
So, let's get back to the list.
1363
00:55:39,031 --> 00:55:40,946
If you can have one thing on
the list, what would it be?
1364
00:55:40,989 --> 00:55:42,077
- One thing?
1365
00:55:42,121 --> 00:55:43,470
- One thing, but
anything.
1366
00:55:43,514 --> 00:55:44,602
- That's hard.
1367
00:55:44,645 --> 00:55:45,385
- It sha'll is.
1368
00:55:45,429 --> 00:55:46,908
- Okay, I got it.
1369
00:55:46,952 --> 00:55:48,736
- Maybe you should talk to your
boyfriend!
1370
00:55:48,780 --> 00:55:50,956
- Maybe you should back up.
- He's talking to me.
1371
00:55:51,391 --> 00:55:52,784
- Delia, girls out here
trying to beat up Keisha.
1372
00:55:52,827 --> 00:55:53,654
One of them's got a gun.
1373
00:55:53,698 --> 00:55:54,655
- What?
1374
00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:01,923
- I'll beat your ass again!
1375
00:56:01,967 --> 00:56:03,577
- What the hell's going on here?
1376
00:56:03,621 --> 00:56:05,318
- We about to whoop her
ass, that's what's going on.
1377
00:56:05,362 --> 00:56:06,537
- Whatever!
1378
00:56:06,580 --> 00:56:07,668
- You know what? Don't I know
your mama?
1379
00:56:07,712 --> 00:56:08,365
- No you don't.
1380
00:56:08,408 --> 00:56:09,757
- I do so.
1381
00:56:09,801 --> 00:56:12,281
Mary Jane Price. I've been
knowing her for years.
1382
00:56:12,325 --> 00:56:13,979
So maybe won't I just give her a
call,
1383
00:56:14,022 --> 00:56:16,721
and let her know what
the hell's going on here.
1384
00:56:17,548 --> 00:56:19,419
And who out here has a gun?
1385
00:56:19,463 --> 00:56:21,116
- She ain't gonna call nobody.
1386
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,945
- Excuse me? You don't
even live around here.
1387
00:56:23,989 --> 00:56:27,558
You need to shut your mouth
when grown folks are talking!
1388
00:56:29,255 --> 00:56:30,735
And don't bring it back around
here
1389
00:56:30,778 --> 00:56:32,911
at Delia's Place no more.
1390
00:56:33,694 --> 00:56:35,957
And you, stop fighting
in front of my place,
1391
00:56:36,001 --> 00:56:37,524
you understand that?
1392
00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:40,832
- Can I talk to you--
- Get your hands off me!
1393
00:56:40,875 --> 00:56:42,877
- What you out here fighting for
anyway?
1394
00:56:42,921 --> 00:56:44,401
- She thinks I want her
boyfriend
1395
00:56:44,444 --> 00:56:45,967
when he be the one
calling me all the time.
1396
00:56:46,011 --> 00:56:47,186
- Listen, don't nobody want you.
1397
00:56:47,229 --> 00:56:48,753
- Honey, we're just trying to
help you.
1398
00:56:48,796 --> 00:56:50,450
One of those girls had a gun,
you're gonna get yourself
1399
00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:51,669
killed out here.
1400
00:56:51,712 --> 00:56:52,800
- What's it to you?
1401
00:56:52,844 --> 00:56:54,149
- Little girl, you got a big ass
mouth.
1402
00:56:54,933 --> 00:56:56,369
- Who are y'all anyway?
1403
00:56:56,413 --> 00:56:59,198
Some kind of police or
teen workers or something?
1404
00:56:59,241 --> 00:57:00,460
She Ren, you Stimpy?
1405
00:57:00,504 --> 00:57:01,418
- What you say?
1406
00:57:01,461 --> 00:57:02,549
- You heard me.
- No,
1407
00:57:04,116 --> 00:57:05,465
we're just regular people
from New Birth Baptist Church.
1408
00:57:05,509 --> 00:57:07,772
- Church people, it figures.
1409
00:57:07,815 --> 00:57:09,164
Like you know my shit, right?
1410
00:57:09,208 --> 00:57:11,471
- Sweetheart, I've been
where you're at and back
1411
00:57:11,515 --> 00:57:14,039
with my sister, so save your
lecture.
1412
00:57:14,082 --> 00:57:16,128
You need to come to
church and take a break
1413
00:57:16,171 --> 00:57:17,782
from hanging with these kids.
1414
00:57:17,825 --> 00:57:18,957
- Maybe I'll think about it.
1415
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,045
- Well you better think about it
fast
1416
00:57:20,088 --> 00:57:21,133
before these girls whoop your
ass.
1417
00:57:21,176 --> 00:57:21,960
Don't you know light skin ain't
in?
1418
00:57:22,003 --> 00:57:22,308
- Pastor!
- I'm sorry.
1419
00:57:23,527 --> 00:57:25,311
Lord Jesus, forgive me, I wasn't
thinking.
1420
00:57:25,354 --> 00:57:26,443
I was just sinking.
1421
00:57:26,486 --> 00:57:27,661
- What kind of church people are
y'all?
1422
00:57:27,705 --> 00:57:29,271
- What's your name anyway,
little bitty?
1423
00:57:29,315 --> 00:57:30,490
- None of your business.
1424
00:57:32,144 --> 00:57:35,277
- New Birth Baptist Church
right down the street.
1425
00:57:35,321 --> 00:57:38,367
- I'll see you Sunday, and
no more fighting, Tiny Tyson,
1426
00:57:38,411 --> 00:57:39,847
I'll whoop you.
1427
00:57:39,891 --> 00:57:43,677
- Pastor, I'm a little
concerned about your behavior.
1428
00:57:43,721 --> 00:57:47,507
"Tiny Tyson," and "I'm
gonna whoop your A-S-S."
1429
00:57:47,551 --> 00:57:49,596
- Jesus will forgive me,
ain't no doubt about it,
1430
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:50,989
God will allow it.
1431
00:57:52,947 --> 00:57:54,166
- Okay.
1432
00:57:54,209 --> 00:57:57,865
- Are you thievin'?
Backsliding? Dirt doing?
1433
00:57:57,909 --> 00:58:01,347
Are you living in a vortex of
evil-ration?
1434
00:58:02,696 --> 00:58:03,871
- Daddy!
1435
00:58:03,915 --> 00:58:05,743
- Hey baby doll, I
missed you.
1436
00:58:06,308 --> 00:58:08,180
- You're in trouble.
1437
00:58:08,223 --> 00:58:09,050
- Why?
1438
00:58:09,094 --> 00:58:10,530
- Grandma's real mad at you.
1439
00:58:10,574 --> 00:58:12,184
- What I do now?
1440
00:58:12,837 --> 00:58:14,491
- Grandma! Daddy's home!
1441
00:58:15,579 --> 00:58:16,536
- Freddy! Boy--
1442
00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:18,582
- Hi mama, how you doing, mama?
1443
00:58:19,104 --> 00:58:20,845
- Have you lost your mind?
1444
00:58:20,888 --> 00:58:23,195
Some Asian people came
here looking for you
1445
00:58:23,238 --> 00:58:24,326
this afternoon.
1446
00:58:24,370 --> 00:58:25,719
- What?
- You heard what I said
1447
00:58:25,763 --> 00:58:27,460
I said some Asian people
came here looking for you.
1448
00:58:27,504 --> 00:58:28,940
Now don't you play no
games with me, Freddy.
1449
00:58:28,983 --> 00:58:30,376
You got some explaining to do.
1450
00:58:30,419 --> 00:58:31,508
- Mama, it--
1451
00:58:31,551 --> 00:58:32,421
- Freddy, honey, tell me what
have you
1452
00:58:32,465 --> 00:58:33,205
gotten yourself into now, huh?
1453
00:58:34,467 --> 00:58:36,425
- Oh that's Han and
them, you remember Han?
1454
00:58:36,469 --> 00:58:38,558
We went to high school together,
little Han, like this big.
1455
00:58:38,602 --> 00:58:40,386
Han? Got this video store now,
right?
1456
00:58:40,429 --> 00:58:41,996
And I had rented some karate
videos,
1457
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:43,998
they must want 'em back, that's
all it is, little problem--
1458
00:58:44,042 --> 00:58:45,913
- Nah-uh, but it didn't
look like a little problem
1459
00:58:45,957 --> 00:58:47,175
to me, Freddy.
1460
00:58:47,219 --> 00:58:49,613
And it happened, of all
days, today, Sunday.
1461
00:58:49,656 --> 00:58:51,092
The Lord's day, Freddy.
1462
00:58:51,136 --> 00:58:52,485
- Mama, I got it under
control.
1463
00:58:52,529 --> 00:58:54,095
- No you don't, you know
what, listen here, Freddy.
1464
00:58:54,139 --> 00:58:57,751
Solve your problems, or you get
out. Okay?
1465
00:58:57,795 --> 00:59:00,058
And don't think I don't know
about you losing your job
1466
00:59:00,101 --> 00:59:01,799
down there at Bug Stompers.
1467
00:59:01,842 --> 00:59:02,887
- It's Roach Stompers.
1468
00:59:02,930 --> 00:59:04,410
- Wait a minute.
1469
00:59:04,453 --> 00:59:07,108
And another thing, are you
bisexual?
1470
00:59:07,152 --> 00:59:09,067
- No, I'm not bisexual,
why you say I'm bisexual?
1471
00:59:09,110 --> 00:59:10,938
- Because Ms. Clara down
there at Zoey's school
1472
00:59:10,982 --> 00:59:12,505
told me that you bisexual.
1473
00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:13,854
She said you came down there
1474
00:59:13,898 --> 00:59:15,769
in these itty-bitty little
short, short, shorts
1475
00:59:15,813 --> 00:59:17,423
all up in your behind.
1476
00:59:17,466 --> 00:59:18,816
She said don't nobody
wear that kind of stuff
1477
00:59:18,859 --> 00:59:20,426
but bisexual men.
1478
00:59:20,469 --> 00:59:22,428
Now you know, Freddy, we don't
deal with that kind of stuff
1479
00:59:22,471 --> 00:59:23,429
around here, you hear me?
1480
00:59:23,472 --> 00:59:24,952
- I'm metrosexual.
- What?
1481
00:59:24,996 --> 00:59:27,476
- Metrosexual, they just mad
because I can wear mediums.
1482
00:59:27,955 --> 00:59:30,262
Kanye West metrosexual, Puffy
metrosexual,
1483
00:59:30,305 --> 00:59:31,568
Russell Simmons metrosexual.
1484
00:59:31,611 --> 00:59:33,744
- You know what, I got
your metrosexual, here.
1485
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:38,096
Don't play with me,
boy. Don't play with me.
1486
00:59:43,754 --> 00:59:46,539
- What do you think Pastor's
surprise is, Thelma?
1487
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:50,499
- Hard to say, sister.
I really have no idea.
1488
00:59:51,413 --> 00:59:52,937
- It ain't nothing, this
is a trick to get us here
1489
00:59:52,980 --> 00:59:54,286
on a Monday night.
1490
00:59:54,329 --> 00:59:55,504
- You're probably right.
1491
00:59:57,028 --> 00:59:58,551
- You know what, baby, you
need to have a little faith.
1492
00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:00,684
- Yeah right, ma, like churches
ever did anything for me.
1493
01:00:00,727 --> 01:00:02,903
He's messing with my Halo
minutes now.
1494
01:00:02,947 --> 01:00:04,688
- You need to hush up
before I knock your teeth
1495
01:00:04,731 --> 01:00:05,993
in the back of your mouth.
1496
01:00:13,697 --> 01:00:15,524
- What's up, y'all? What's up?
1497
01:00:15,568 --> 01:00:17,570
- I sure better get my
money after this stunt.
1498
01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:20,094
- We're back, Deacon
Jones and I, as I promised
1499
01:00:20,138 --> 01:00:22,575
we would be here to do a
healing.
1500
01:00:22,923 --> 01:00:23,968
- Yes!
1501
01:00:24,011 --> 01:00:25,273
- I don't believe you believe
me.
1502
01:00:25,317 --> 01:00:28,755
I said tonight, somebody's
gonna get healed.
1503
01:00:31,105 --> 01:00:33,455
The church has the
spirit and I can feel it.
1504
01:00:34,152 --> 01:00:36,807
So I'll promise you
this, by Easter Sunday,
1505
01:00:36,850 --> 01:00:38,547
you'll witness three miracles.
1506
01:00:40,898 --> 01:00:43,291
God is good, God is the answer.
1507
01:00:43,988 --> 01:00:47,469
So, with that, I need a
volunteer from the audience.
1508
01:00:51,212 --> 01:00:52,344
You in the back.
1509
01:00:53,737 --> 01:00:54,825
- Me?
1510
01:00:54,868 --> 01:00:56,261
- Yes, you brother. What's your
name?
1511
01:00:56,304 --> 01:00:57,784
- Frank.
1512
01:00:57,828 --> 01:00:58,829
- I'm sorry, speak up, I
couldn't hear your name,
brother.
1513
01:00:58,872 --> 01:00:59,960
- Frank.
1514
01:01:00,004 --> 01:01:01,483
- Come up here, brother, come up
here.
1515
01:01:05,836 --> 01:01:07,098
- Did you pass gas?
1516
01:01:07,141 --> 01:01:08,839
- I told you I got gas.
1517
01:01:09,622 --> 01:01:10,884
- Jesus.
1518
01:01:11,842 --> 01:01:13,626
- What's the story,
brother?
1519
01:01:14,888 --> 01:01:16,716
I see. That's incredible.
1520
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,326
It's incredible, ladies and
gentlemen.
1521
01:01:18,370 --> 01:01:19,980
This man's name is Frank.
1522
01:01:20,024 --> 01:01:22,504
Now Frank had his vocal
cords severed by an alligator
1523
01:01:22,548 --> 01:01:25,159
on a vacation to Florida in
2004.
1524
01:01:25,203 --> 01:01:27,074
- Oh my Lord!
1525
01:01:27,118 --> 01:01:29,729
- What's worse, he walks
like this, all bent over,
1526
01:01:29,773 --> 01:01:31,992
because the gator got a
piece of his tailbone.
1527
01:01:32,036 --> 01:01:33,298
- Oh, Jesus!
1528
01:01:33,341 --> 01:01:34,473
- And his leg is messed up.
1529
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,520
But God is good, and he's
feeling like doing healing.
1530
01:01:39,217 --> 01:01:40,653
- Heal him, Lord.
1531
01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:43,700
- Over three nights, tonight,
Wednesday, and Friday,
1532
01:01:43,743 --> 01:01:45,092
we're gonna heal this man.
1533
01:01:45,136 --> 01:01:46,964
But tonight, he's going to sing.
1534
01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:51,185
Do you believe, Frank?
1535
01:01:51,925 --> 01:01:54,101
I said, Frank, do you believe?
1536
01:01:54,536 --> 01:01:55,624
- I believe.
1537
01:01:55,668 --> 01:01:56,756
- Praise him.
1538
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,236
- Deacon Jones, if you can
assist me.
1539
01:01:58,279 --> 01:02:00,542
Deacon Jackson, if I have
you come up here, brother.
1540
01:02:02,370 --> 01:02:03,807
Now hold on to him, now.
1541
01:02:03,850 --> 01:02:06,374
Grab him in a bear hug and don't
let go,
1542
01:02:06,418 --> 01:02:08,986
because letting go is
like letting go of God.
1543
01:02:11,466 --> 01:02:13,077
Let me just anoint him.
1544
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:14,948
Just anoint him, anoint him!
1545
01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:16,515
- Holy shower.
1546
01:02:16,558 --> 01:02:17,255
- Give him a holy shower.
1547
01:02:17,298 --> 01:02:18,996
- Healing water, yes!
1548
01:02:19,039 --> 01:02:20,301
- Anoint him!
1549
01:02:22,173 --> 01:02:23,130
Calling God's holy serpent.
1550
01:02:23,174 --> 01:02:24,001
- Here it goes.
1551
01:02:24,044 --> 01:02:25,176
- Strike! Strike!
1552
01:02:25,219 --> 01:02:26,786
- Strike him, serpent. Strike
him.
1553
01:02:26,830 --> 01:02:28,440
- Take out the demon,
show us your baby teeth.
1554
01:02:28,483 --> 01:02:30,007
Baby teeth, baby teeth.
1555
01:02:30,050 --> 01:02:32,096
- Get that demon out of there.
1556
01:02:38,363 --> 01:02:40,104
- Leave it, leave it, Brother.
1557
01:02:40,147 --> 01:02:42,715
He's healing you,
Brother. He's healing you.
1558
01:02:44,195 --> 01:02:45,762
- How you feeling, Frank?
1559
01:02:46,414 --> 01:02:47,764
I said, how you feeling, Frank?
1560
01:02:47,807 --> 01:02:49,983
- I feel like singing.
1561
01:02:53,378 --> 01:02:54,596
- Sing!
1562
01:02:58,644 --> 01:03:00,211
k I sing
1563
01:03:01,212 --> 01:03:06,217
k Because,
1564
01:03:08,132 --> 01:03:10,830
k I'm happy
1565
01:03:10,874 --> 01:03:11,831
- Oh my god!
1566
01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:14,007
k And I sing,
1567
01:03:14,312 --> 01:03:19,317
k Because
1568
01:03:21,406 --> 01:03:22,711
k I'm free k
1569
01:03:28,152 --> 01:03:30,067
- Be sure to join, Deacon Jones
and myself
1570
01:03:30,110 --> 01:03:32,112
back here Wednesday
night, bring your friends
1571
01:03:32,156 --> 01:03:34,636
and your family for another
great feeling the spirit
1572
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:35,899
through healing.
1573
01:03:35,942 --> 01:03:38,597
That's Wednesday night,
I'll see you there.
1574
01:03:40,425 --> 01:03:42,949
- Hi, this is Brother Efrom from
Bethel.
1575
01:03:43,428 --> 01:03:45,647
Yeah, this is the council
office, right?
1576
01:03:46,953 --> 01:03:50,478
I'd like to check on two
replacement ministers you sent
us.
1577
01:03:52,350 --> 01:03:56,093
Cornelius, yes like Soul Train.
1578
01:03:57,224 --> 01:03:58,835
And Jones.
1579
01:04:02,490 --> 01:04:04,710
- Come on, man, that healing
stuff ain't gonna work again.
1580
01:04:04,753 --> 01:04:06,364
- Man, we raised $1,300 last
night.
1581
01:04:06,407 --> 01:04:07,887
- Yeah, last night.
1582
01:04:07,931 --> 01:04:10,107
- You don't know, people love
healing.
1583
01:04:10,150 --> 01:04:12,936
- Hey, hey, hey pastor. Hey
deacon.
1584
01:04:12,979 --> 01:04:14,894
- Hello sister, God breast
you, I mean, bless you.
1585
01:04:14,938 --> 01:04:16,678
- Praise the Lord.
1586
01:04:17,070 --> 01:04:20,421
Look at you looking like a
little dark-skin Gingerbread
Man.
1587
01:04:22,119 --> 01:04:23,294
Kept you in the oven a little
too long.
1588
01:04:23,337 --> 01:04:24,817
Pastor, I've been thinking and
thinking,
1589
01:04:24,861 --> 01:04:27,254
and I came up with an idea
straight from heaven above.
1590
01:04:27,298 --> 01:04:29,343
- Well if it's from heaven,
sister, then it must be good.
1591
01:04:29,387 --> 01:04:30,127
- Oh yes.
1592
01:04:30,170 --> 01:04:31,519
- Praise him.
1593
01:04:31,563 --> 01:04:34,218
- Praise him, back in the
day my grandmother used
1594
01:04:34,261 --> 01:04:35,523
to cook for everybody.
1595
01:04:35,567 --> 01:04:38,700
And so I love to cook,
and do you love to eat?
1596
01:04:38,744 --> 01:04:39,527
- Oh I love to eat.
1597
01:04:39,571 --> 01:04:40,746
- You love to eat, okay.
1598
01:04:40,789 --> 01:04:41,486
- Oh yeah.
1599
01:04:41,529 --> 01:04:42,617
- You like breast meat?
1600
01:04:42,661 --> 01:04:43,618
- Oh I love breast meat.
1601
01:04:43,662 --> 01:04:45,490
- Ooh. Smothered breast?
1602
01:04:45,533 --> 01:04:46,795
- Smothered breast? Oh
yes.
1603
01:04:46,839 --> 01:04:47,666
- Ooh.
1604
01:04:47,709 --> 01:04:48,710
- Put a little gravy on it.
1605
01:04:48,754 --> 01:04:49,973
- Gravy on it?
- Yeah.
1606
01:04:50,016 --> 01:04:51,713
- Oh my goodness, what about
thigh meat?
1607
01:04:51,757 --> 01:04:53,106
- Thigh meat? I love
thigh meat.
1608
01:04:53,150 --> 01:04:54,238
- You like thigh meat?
1609
01:04:54,281 --> 01:04:55,239
- I lick 'em first and then I
eat 'em.
1610
01:04:55,282 --> 01:04:57,154
- Oh, praise the Lord.
1611
01:04:57,719 --> 01:04:59,939
What we can do is have a
Friday or Saturday night
1612
01:04:59,983 --> 01:05:01,419
cooking thing.
1613
01:05:01,462 --> 01:05:02,899
And that would encourage
people to come back on Sunday.
1614
01:05:02,942 --> 01:05:04,204
- So what do you need from me?
1615
01:05:04,248 --> 01:05:05,553
- I just need your blessing.
1616
01:05:05,597 --> 01:05:06,685
- Oh you got that, sister.
1617
01:05:06,728 --> 01:05:09,166
- Oh! Well, thank you. Woo! I
feel it.
1618
01:05:09,731 --> 01:05:11,429
Woo! That got my nipples hard.
1619
01:05:11,472 --> 01:05:14,432
You know, one more thing,
the after school program.
1620
01:05:14,475 --> 01:05:15,650
- After school program?
1621
01:05:15,694 --> 01:05:17,435
- Yes, yes, I've been taking
care of it,
1622
01:05:17,478 --> 01:05:19,828
me and the other girls, we
just need a man to help us.
1623
01:05:19,872 --> 01:05:22,962
My son, Dee, needs a father--I
mean, a father figure.
1624
01:05:23,006 --> 01:05:24,572
So it'll be here today at three.
1625
01:05:24,616 --> 01:05:25,704
- Today at three?
1626
01:05:25,747 --> 01:05:26,835
- Today at three.
1627
01:05:27,097 --> 01:05:28,533
You can handle that, can't you?
1628
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:31,144
- Yeah, I can handle it.
1629
01:05:33,233 --> 01:05:34,713
Very funny.
1630
01:05:36,584 --> 01:05:39,370
Today's topic is lying.
1631
01:05:39,979 --> 01:05:40,937
Any liars out there?
1632
01:05:40,980 --> 01:05:43,026
- Everybody lies sometimes.
1633
01:05:43,069 --> 01:05:44,201
- Do you lie?
1634
01:05:44,244 --> 01:05:47,421
- Do I lie? Oh, no Deacon Jones.
1635
01:05:47,465 --> 01:05:49,206
And I love being here too,
brother.
1636
01:05:49,249 --> 01:05:51,556
- I can see you're very
influenced by that singer,
1637
01:05:51,991 --> 01:05:53,427
Chris Brown?
1638
01:05:53,471 --> 01:05:56,778
But you can't sing, you
can't dance, you can't dress,
1639
01:05:56,822 --> 01:05:58,041
and you don't wear deodorant.
1640
01:06:00,304 --> 01:06:01,914
The Lord don't like lies.
1641
01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:05,135
There's only two lies that you
can tell and be forgiven for.
1642
01:06:05,178 --> 01:06:08,747
The first one, is if let's
say you're being chased
1643
01:06:08,790 --> 01:06:10,357
by an Asian gang.
1644
01:06:10,401 --> 01:06:11,968
- What?
1645
01:06:12,011 --> 01:06:16,276
- Just remember now, the Asians
created dynamite and karate.
1646
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:17,799
Which means that if they chasing
you,
1647
01:06:17,843 --> 01:06:19,236
they gonna mess you up.
1648
01:06:19,279 --> 01:06:21,542
Another situation is if
you're what they call,
1649
01:06:21,586 --> 01:06:23,327
a kleptomaniac.
1650
01:06:23,370 --> 01:06:26,504
The Lord forgives them because
they can't help themselves.
1651
01:06:26,547 --> 01:06:27,984
- Do you know any kleptomaniacs?
1652
01:06:28,506 --> 01:06:31,465
- Of course not. I'm a deacon!
1653
01:06:31,900 --> 01:06:33,859
- What kind of deacon are you?
1654
01:06:34,164 --> 01:06:36,166
- I'm a deacon with an attitude,
okay.
1655
01:06:37,906 --> 01:06:41,214
- God wants you to be
prosperous.
1656
01:06:41,258 --> 01:06:44,696
And in your prosperity, kick us
down some.
1657
01:06:45,131 --> 01:06:49,788
For each $1,000 tax-deductible
donation to our institution,
1658
01:06:49,831 --> 01:06:54,836
you get back $5,000 in prayer.
1659
01:06:56,447 --> 01:06:57,665
God bless you.
1660
01:06:59,841 --> 01:07:02,888
- I want to be smooth as a
baby's butt, you got me old man?
1661
01:07:02,931 --> 01:07:05,325
- I got you, big fella.
You new in the area, huh?
1662
01:07:05,369 --> 01:07:07,632
Boy, you got some good hair.
1663
01:07:07,675 --> 01:07:09,590
You might have a little Indian
in you, let me fluff it up
1664
01:07:09,634 --> 01:07:11,114
a little bit there, boy.
1665
01:07:12,115 --> 01:07:13,942
What tribe you from,
the bald-headed tribe?
1666
01:07:14,291 --> 01:07:14,987
- He's in there.
1667
01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:16,249
- You see my Chee-chee?
1668
01:07:17,294 --> 01:07:18,991
- I say we can take
him.
1669
01:07:19,035 --> 01:07:20,384
- I'll sit on him,
that's what.
1670
01:07:21,472 --> 01:07:22,516
- What's going on over here?
1671
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:24,605
- Oh, Deacon.
1672
01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:26,129
- Thank you for coming, Pastor.
1673
01:07:26,172 --> 01:07:27,869
My Chee-chee's been missing for
days.
1674
01:07:27,913 --> 01:07:28,783
- Chee-chee? What's that?
1675
01:07:28,827 --> 01:07:29,567
- My dog.
1676
01:07:30,959 --> 01:07:32,135
- You know, I was just in
the adult video store--
1677
01:07:32,700 --> 01:07:34,267
Chee-chee's a dog, yeah, yeah.
1678
01:07:34,311 --> 01:07:35,703
- That man is
always stealing dogs
1679
01:07:35,747 --> 01:07:36,661
in this neighborhood.
1680
01:07:36,704 --> 01:07:37,618
- Sister, we're here now.
1681
01:07:38,750 --> 01:07:40,143
- See what our problem is over
here.
1682
01:07:43,276 --> 01:07:44,669
I see ugliness.
1683
01:07:45,235 --> 01:07:48,673
And as we know, the
Lord does not like ugly.
1684
01:07:49,021 --> 01:07:51,023
Take a look at the
ugliness yourself, brother.
1685
01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:52,981
You see that beast of iniquity.
1686
01:07:53,025 --> 01:07:54,853
- Yes, praise God.
1687
01:07:55,462 --> 01:07:57,116
- Deacon, you've heard
of David and Goliath?
1688
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:58,248
- Oh yes, brother.
1689
01:07:58,291 --> 01:07:59,510
- Well, I'm not fixin' to try
that.
1690
01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:01,251
Mrs. Evelyn, why won't
we get you another dog?
1691
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:05,429
- No, no, Sister Evelyn, no.
1692
01:08:05,472 --> 01:08:07,387
Why would you tell her
something like that, man?
1693
01:08:08,258 --> 01:08:09,824
- Old man, I'm not playing with
you.
1694
01:08:09,868 --> 01:08:10,695
Hey man, what you doing!
1695
01:08:10,738 --> 01:08:11,783
- I'm sorry there big fella.
1696
01:08:11,826 --> 01:08:13,176
A little butter take care of
that.
1697
01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:16,353
You think the Lone
Ranger and Tonto are gay?
1698
01:08:16,396 --> 01:08:19,921
Anyone in that tight suit
and mask on, "Kemo Sabe."
1699
01:08:19,965 --> 01:08:22,663
You know something was
going on in that big tee.
1700
01:08:23,490 --> 01:08:25,013
- Shave my head, fool.
1701
01:08:26,841 --> 01:08:28,800
- You mind if we have
a word with you, sir?
1702
01:08:28,843 --> 01:08:29,888
- P.D.
1703
01:08:31,063 --> 01:08:31,716
- Police?
1704
01:08:31,759 --> 01:08:33,021
- Pet detectives.
1705
01:08:33,065 --> 01:08:35,285
I'm Officer Fetchums,
this is Officer Canine.
1706
01:08:35,850 --> 01:08:36,851
- Woof!
1707
01:08:38,462 --> 01:08:39,463
- Yeah, we got word you're in
possession of a stolen dog.
1708
01:08:39,506 --> 01:08:40,768
- Who says?
1709
01:08:40,812 --> 01:08:42,292
- Officer Canine, you
want to respond to that?
1710
01:08:42,335 --> 01:08:44,163
- Hey, society's got a place for
you.
1711
01:08:44,207 --> 01:08:45,556
You going down.
1712
01:08:45,947 --> 01:08:47,166
- Watch what you say, big fella.
1713
01:08:47,210 --> 01:08:48,950
Remember what happened to
Michael Vick.
1714
01:08:49,473 --> 01:08:50,865
No more touchdowns.
1715
01:08:51,301 --> 01:08:52,737
- I ain't stole no dog.
1716
01:08:52,780 --> 01:08:53,955
- Oh you stole it.
1717
01:08:53,999 --> 01:08:55,566
- This is my dog.
1718
01:08:55,609 --> 01:08:56,958
- Man, look at that
dog's little glittery collar,
1719
01:08:57,002 --> 01:08:58,003
that ain't your dog.
1720
01:08:58,046 --> 01:08:58,917
What's his name?
1721
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,048
- Booty.
1722
01:09:00,092 --> 01:09:01,615
- We didn't ask for your hero's
name.
1723
01:09:01,659 --> 01:09:03,182
What's the dog name?
1724
01:09:04,488 --> 01:09:06,403
- Man, you slapped me?
1725
01:09:06,446 --> 01:09:08,231
- Got bugs in here, I'm sorry
big dog.
1726
01:09:08,274 --> 01:09:09,797
- Booty? Booty?
1727
01:09:09,841 --> 01:09:11,321
- That's a dumb dog.
1728
01:09:11,364 --> 01:09:12,496
- You think I'm playing with
you?
1729
01:09:12,539 --> 01:09:13,366
- Ouch!
1730
01:09:13,410 --> 01:09:14,672
- Sorry, big fella.
1731
01:09:14,715 --> 01:09:16,152
- Man you cut me again,
I will choke you out.
1732
01:09:16,195 --> 01:09:16,891
- Call it in.
1733
01:09:16,935 --> 01:09:17,501
- Right now.
1734
01:09:17,544 --> 01:09:18,241
- Calling po-po?
1735
01:09:18,284 --> 01:09:19,546
- Call it in.
1736
01:09:19,590 --> 01:09:20,939
- Hello? Yeah, we found
the perp with the pooch.
1737
01:09:21,635 --> 01:09:22,984
We found the dog, too.
1738
01:09:23,333 --> 01:09:24,769
It's like a dusty tarantula.
1739
01:09:24,812 --> 01:09:26,205
Eh Junior, keep your eyes
on his eye, look like he's
1740
01:09:26,249 --> 01:09:27,293
reaching for something.
1741
01:09:27,337 --> 01:09:28,381
- You talking about my eye?
1742
01:09:28,425 --> 01:09:30,035
- We talking about your eye,
what.
1743
01:09:30,078 --> 01:09:32,211
- Nobody talks about my eye.
1744
01:09:32,255 --> 01:09:33,821
- Yeah, we talking about your
eye.
1745
01:09:33,865 --> 01:09:36,781
You think because you got a
big ass head and a wide neck,
1746
01:09:36,824 --> 01:09:38,435
we supposed to be intimidated.
1747
01:09:40,088 --> 01:09:43,788
Let me tell you something,
player. The dog is stolen.
1748
01:09:44,832 --> 01:09:49,489
You stole it, see, we know
that's Mrs. Evelyn's dog.
1749
01:09:49,533 --> 01:09:53,189
You stole it, she sent us
over here to get it back.
1750
01:09:53,493 --> 01:09:55,452
So give me that goddamn dog!
1751
01:09:56,409 --> 01:09:57,410
- Uh-oh.
1752
01:09:57,802 --> 01:09:59,804
- You hit me in the head.
1753
01:10:00,457 --> 01:10:01,849
- I'll be outside, man.
1754
01:10:02,807 --> 01:10:03,851
- We done done it
now.
1755
01:10:03,895 --> 01:10:04,896
There's no going back--
1756
01:10:06,289 --> 01:10:07,855
- You slapped me?
1757
01:10:08,987 --> 01:10:12,382
If you wanna slap me, slap me!
1758
01:10:12,817 --> 01:10:14,601
Slap me! Slap me!
1759
01:10:17,952 --> 01:10:19,215
Now who's soft!
1760
01:10:21,913 --> 01:10:24,437
Now everybody pay for
my haircut! Give it up!
1761
01:10:26,526 --> 01:10:27,919
Give me your money!
1762
01:10:30,095 --> 01:10:32,445
- Do you love, love, love the
Lord?
1763
01:10:32,489 --> 01:10:35,753
Because he love, love, love,
you!
1764
01:10:35,796 --> 01:10:40,801
And he can change your life,
like magic!
1765
01:10:41,976 --> 01:10:43,021
She-bow!
1766
01:10:44,588 --> 01:10:46,111
- Okay now, I brought y'all
here to get y'all in shape.
1767
01:10:46,154 --> 01:10:48,244
Y'all soldiers in God's army,
okay. You gotta shake it.
1768
01:10:48,287 --> 01:10:49,680
Let's go, here we go.
1769
01:10:50,028 --> 01:10:52,204
Hear that? It's a joyful noise!
1770
01:11:04,564 --> 01:11:06,218
Bring it around, bring it
around.
1771
01:11:08,481 --> 01:11:09,700
- Booty shake?
1772
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:13,094
- Action Jackson! Deacon
Jackson, give it to 'em!
1773
01:11:13,530 --> 01:11:16,010
Lord Jesus in the house, he's
here.
1774
01:11:16,359 --> 01:11:18,839
- Deacon Jones done
did his homework, okay.
1775
01:11:18,883 --> 01:11:21,712
Now we gonna see how good
y'all know your stuff.
1776
01:11:22,365 --> 01:11:23,496
- Deacon Jones, I got a question
to ask,
1777
01:11:23,540 --> 01:11:24,758
but I don't want to get in
trouble.
1778
01:11:25,977 --> 01:11:27,631
Is Pastor bisexual?
1779
01:11:28,371 --> 01:11:29,763
Because everybody keep saying
that.
1780
01:11:29,807 --> 01:11:31,722
- How dare you say something
like that.
1781
01:11:32,592 --> 01:11:34,333
- You're not holding a
tune. We're trying to,
1782
01:11:39,817 --> 01:11:44,822
- O-ha-ra! O-ha-ra!
Everybody, O-ha-ra! O-ha-ra!
1783
01:11:47,868 --> 01:11:49,914
- I'm what they call a
modern-day hero,
1784
01:11:49,957 --> 01:11:51,307
you know what I mean?
1785
01:11:51,350 --> 01:11:55,049
- Oh, you're touching me. Ooh!
That's--
1786
01:11:55,572 --> 01:11:57,051
Ooh, Jesus.
1787
01:11:57,356 --> 01:11:59,793
- Okay, that's better,
Sam. Just feel that beat!
1788
01:11:59,837 --> 01:12:01,142
Feel that beat.
1789
01:12:01,491 --> 01:12:02,970
- I'll know a beat when I hear
it.
1790
01:12:03,493 --> 01:12:05,799
- Well, when is you gonna hear
it?
1791
01:12:07,148 --> 01:12:08,193
- Can I help you?
1792
01:12:08,236 --> 01:12:09,673
- Just looking for the Pastor.
1793
01:12:09,716 --> 01:12:11,631
- He's not here right now.
He'll be back soon though.
1794
01:12:11,675 --> 01:12:13,024
You can sit and wait.
1795
01:12:13,067 --> 01:12:14,591
- You don't know what you're
doing,
1796
01:12:14,634 --> 01:12:16,375
and you ain't even black.
1797
01:12:17,724 --> 01:12:18,682
- Something funny?
1798
01:12:18,725 --> 01:12:20,423
- Y'all sound horrible.
1799
01:12:21,032 --> 01:12:23,034
- Let's try this one more time,
okay guys.
1800
01:12:23,077 --> 01:12:26,516
One, two, one, two, three, go
and.
1801
01:12:38,658 --> 01:12:39,877
- Where's Frank at?
1802
01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:42,445
- I don't know.
1803
01:12:42,488 --> 01:12:44,055
- Man, he should've been here by
now.
1804
01:12:44,098 --> 01:12:46,362
It's at least 200 people out
there waiting for the healing.
1805
01:12:46,405 --> 01:12:49,016
People expecting a show,
we gotta give it to them.
1806
01:12:49,060 --> 01:12:51,367
- I said he's gonna be
here, he's gonna be here.
1807
01:12:51,410 --> 01:12:53,934
- Should've been here before
now.
1808
01:12:54,500 --> 01:12:55,980
If Frank's not here, it's over
with.
1809
01:12:56,023 --> 01:12:57,416
Might as well leave right now.
1810
01:12:57,460 --> 01:12:59,418
- Pastor, Frank can't make it
tonight.
1811
01:12:59,462 --> 01:13:00,985
He got into one of them rehab
centers--
1812
01:13:01,028 --> 01:13:02,378
- Rehab? He ain't even--
1813
01:13:02,421 --> 01:13:03,727
- Well anyway, seeing this
change of circumstances,
1814
01:13:03,770 --> 01:13:05,816
I volunteer myself to be healed.
1815
01:13:05,859 --> 01:13:07,078
- Benny, you don't need to be
healed.
1816
01:13:07,121 --> 01:13:09,080
- Yeah I do, look at my leg, I
walk funny.
1817
01:13:09,123 --> 01:13:10,429
- Did you hear that?
1818
01:13:10,473 --> 01:13:14,085
Hey everybody! We're gonna heal
Benny.
1819
01:13:14,128 --> 01:13:15,565
- No, no, no, no!
1820
01:13:18,350 --> 01:13:20,439
- Preacher, it gives me so much
pain.
1821
01:13:20,483 --> 01:13:22,398
- Man, you don't need no healing
man.
1822
01:13:22,441 --> 01:13:23,790
- Yes, I do.
1823
01:13:23,834 --> 01:13:25,139
- Man, that's from wearing
clogs back in the 60's.
1824
01:13:25,705 --> 01:13:27,968
- You can do it, Reverend,
you got the power!
1825
01:13:28,012 --> 01:13:30,275
- If you can heal Stanky
Franky, why can't you heal me?
1826
01:13:30,318 --> 01:13:31,537
- Come on. Come on!
1827
01:13:45,551 --> 01:13:48,467
Benny, we all know God loves
you.
1828
01:13:48,511 --> 01:13:51,427
I love you, they love you Benny.
1829
01:13:53,733 --> 01:13:57,345
Do you love, Benny?
1830
01:14:00,305 --> 01:14:02,176
You're one of God's greatest
workers.
1831
01:14:02,220 --> 01:14:04,657
I want to call God, I'm calling
you God.
1832
01:14:04,701 --> 01:14:07,181
Don't check the caller
ID, it's just me trying
1833
01:14:07,225 --> 01:14:08,444
to heal Benny.
1834
01:14:09,706 --> 01:14:10,794
You ready?
1835
01:14:17,975 --> 01:14:19,019
Heal!
1836
01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:24,808
- I feel better.
1837
01:14:33,251 --> 01:14:34,557
- What you done did, man?
1838
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:36,341
- I ain't do nothing. You see
that?
1839
01:14:46,351 --> 01:14:48,309
- Very entertaining show,
Pastor.
1840
01:14:48,353 --> 01:14:49,528
- You like that, huh?
1841
01:14:49,572 --> 01:14:51,530
- Too bad both of you are fakes.
1842
01:14:51,574 --> 01:14:52,400
- What?
1843
01:14:52,444 --> 01:14:54,011
- I know what you're doing.
1844
01:14:54,054 --> 01:14:55,839
You're bamboozling the people,
you're leading them astray,
1845
01:14:55,882 --> 01:14:58,015
you're tying them to
balloons and letting them go.
1846
01:14:58,058 --> 01:15:00,583
I'm watching you, I'm
watching both of you.
1847
01:15:05,805 --> 01:15:07,851
k Do you trust me
1848
01:15:08,416 --> 01:15:10,767
k When I'm out here on the
streets
1849
01:15:10,810 --> 01:15:12,856
k Out here hustling
1850
01:15:13,639 --> 01:15:16,250
k Baby yet do you run from me k
1851
01:15:16,599 --> 01:15:20,341
- Hello, I'm Reverend Paid,
please join us in our annual
1852
01:15:20,385 --> 01:15:22,866
couples-only counseling cruise.
1853
01:15:22,909 --> 01:15:25,564
This year, we've got a bigger
boat, and a better cook.
1854
01:15:25,608 --> 01:15:27,348
No more food poisoning.
1855
01:15:27,740 --> 01:15:29,786
And I'm ready to get my hands
dirty.
1856
01:15:29,829 --> 01:15:34,051
God wants you and your
beloved to be blessed.
1857
01:15:34,094 --> 01:15:37,620
Remember, it's Adam and
Eve not Adam and Steve.
1858
01:15:49,719 --> 01:15:50,807
- Bethel.
1859
01:15:51,547 --> 01:15:53,070
Yes, this is Brother Efrom.
1860
01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:57,335
Wait, wait, wait, say that
again?
1861
01:16:01,731 --> 01:16:03,167
Thank you.
1862
01:16:08,389 --> 01:16:11,915
Roach Stompers, okay.
1863
01:16:12,829 --> 01:16:16,136
You want to play? We'll play.
1864
01:16:20,271 --> 01:16:21,489
- Hello?
1865
01:16:22,621 --> 01:16:23,753
- You look good.
1866
01:16:23,796 --> 01:16:25,102
- Pastor?
1867
01:16:26,190 --> 01:16:28,540
- Hey, Miss Tanya, what's
up girl how you doing?
1868
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:30,237
- Good, good to see you.
1869
01:16:30,281 --> 01:16:31,238
- Always a pleasure.
1870
01:16:31,282 --> 01:16:32,675
- You're doing such a good job.
1871
01:16:33,763 --> 01:16:34,764
- I'm doing great.
1872
01:16:34,807 --> 01:16:36,243
- I've got it right here for
you.
1873
01:16:36,635 --> 01:16:39,159
- Just a lot of work around
this area for roaches.
1874
01:16:41,248 --> 01:16:42,119
Yeah.
1875
01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:43,729
- I appreciate it.
1876
01:16:45,426 --> 01:16:46,602
I gotta go now, I'ma talk to you
soon.
1877
01:16:46,645 --> 01:16:47,733
- Freddy?
1878
01:16:48,734 --> 01:16:49,996
Freddy?
1879
01:16:50,649 --> 01:16:51,998
Yo, what's up man?
1880
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:54,218
This the dude I've been
telling you about, right here.
1881
01:16:54,261 --> 01:16:55,741
- Oh man I heard so much about
you,
1882
01:16:55,785 --> 01:16:57,047
you're like a Roach Stomping
guru.
1883
01:16:57,090 --> 01:16:58,309
- So what's up, man, how you
holding up?
1884
01:16:58,352 --> 01:17:00,267
Man, since you lost
your job and everything?
1885
01:17:00,311 --> 01:17:01,399
- Bring that down.
1886
01:17:01,442 --> 01:17:02,618
- Oh, let me talk to you real
quick.
1887
01:17:02,661 --> 01:17:04,315
Did you and Junior steal some
money?
1888
01:17:04,358 --> 01:17:05,621
- We ain't steal nothing, nigga.
1889
01:17:05,664 --> 01:17:06,752
- It's cool, you know,
but you look good, man,
1890
01:17:06,796 --> 01:17:08,145
the suit, dressed down.
1891
01:17:08,188 --> 01:17:10,103
That's crazy, because, you
know, I'm so used to you
1892
01:17:10,147 --> 01:17:12,062
wearing that bug outfit.
1893
01:17:12,105 --> 01:17:14,412
This dude was so
dedicated, he used to sleep
1894
01:17:14,455 --> 01:17:15,718
in that uniform.
1895
01:17:15,761 --> 01:17:17,676
Hey, tell him about the
time with them girls.
1896
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:19,939
We ran that Amtrak on them hos!
1897
01:17:21,506 --> 01:17:24,727
Okay, next stop, Monkeyville. Up
high.
1898
01:17:26,772 --> 01:17:28,339
Oh wait, hold on. Roach
Stompers.
1899
01:17:28,774 --> 01:17:29,645
Okay, we around the corner, man.
1900
01:17:29,688 --> 01:17:30,689
- Roach Stompers?
1901
01:17:31,690 --> 01:17:33,126
- Yo, we gotta get out of here,
man,
1902
01:17:33,170 --> 01:17:34,562
we gotta kill some more
roaches, you know about that.
1903
01:17:35,738 --> 01:17:37,783
You changed. You really changed.
1904
01:17:37,827 --> 01:17:39,872
You know what, let's go. Like
this dude is so Hollywood.
1905
01:17:40,307 --> 01:17:41,482
You know what I'm saying,
he got the suit on
1906
01:17:41,526 --> 01:17:43,354
with no job, you just got fired.
1907
01:17:45,486 --> 01:17:46,705
- Mm-hmm.
- Let me--
1908
01:17:46,749 --> 01:17:49,577
- No, no, no, no. Pastor, right?
1909
01:17:50,143 --> 01:17:52,058
Now, I don't know what all that
was about.
1910
01:17:52,102 --> 01:17:53,625
Little Amtrak train?
1911
01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:54,800
I don't know if those were
your little boyfriends or not.
1912
01:17:56,454 --> 01:17:58,369
I know how things go, all right?
1913
01:17:58,412 --> 01:18:00,153
Sometimes, life puts us in a
situation
1914
01:18:00,197 --> 01:18:01,894
that we can't get out of.
1915
01:18:04,505 --> 01:18:08,205
But I like you, Pastor.
Don't disappoint me.
1916
01:18:10,250 --> 01:18:11,730
I got my eye on you.
1917
01:18:15,081 --> 01:18:16,517
Buenas Noches.
1918
01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:29,617
- Okay, time to go, time to go.
1919
01:18:29,661 --> 01:18:30,357
- Freddy?
1920
01:18:30,401 --> 01:18:31,619
- Yeah?
1921
01:18:31,663 --> 01:18:32,925
- You need to calm down.
1922
01:18:32,969 --> 01:18:34,100
- I'm calm, what do you mean
calm down?
1923
01:18:34,144 --> 01:18:35,449
- You ain't calm, man.
1924
01:18:36,537 --> 01:18:38,888
- I'm calm, cool, and
collected, man. I'm calm.
1925
01:18:38,931 --> 01:18:40,280
- They gonna see--
- Ready Reverend?
1926
01:18:41,194 --> 01:18:42,587
- How you doing, boy?
1927
01:18:42,630 --> 01:18:44,023
I see you got the little
Steve Harvey hairline going.
1928
01:18:44,067 --> 01:18:47,766
- Yeah, Big Ben is back, baby.
1929
01:18:47,810 --> 01:18:49,463
But Reverend, there's
a big crowd out there.
1930
01:18:49,507 --> 01:18:50,726
You know, Easter and all.
1931
01:18:50,769 --> 01:18:51,552
- Good crowd?
1932
01:18:51,596 --> 01:18:52,815
- Yeah, see you later.
1933
01:18:52,858 --> 01:18:54,294
- Go on ahead with your
bad self, all right.
1934
01:18:54,338 --> 01:18:55,731
Take care, Benny.
1935
01:18:55,774 --> 01:18:58,472
- Reverend, a lot of people
depending on you guys,
1936
01:18:59,256 --> 01:19:00,648
doing a great thing here.
1937
01:19:00,692 --> 01:19:02,172
And thank you for giving me this
chance.
1938
01:19:02,215 --> 01:19:04,087
- No Benny, thank you.
1939
01:19:08,352 --> 01:19:10,920
- That's the last time,
okay? The last time.
1940
01:19:10,963 --> 01:19:12,008
- Man, what you talking about?
1941
01:19:12,051 --> 01:19:13,749
- That man believes in you.
1942
01:19:13,792 --> 01:19:15,054
- Man, that man ain't believe in
me.
1943
01:19:15,098 --> 01:19:16,490
- This the last time,
all right? Get serious.
1944
01:19:16,534 --> 01:19:18,014
- I'm serious.
- All right.
1945
01:19:18,536 --> 01:19:19,189
- Let's go.
1946
01:19:19,232 --> 01:19:20,756
- Stop showing off.
1947
01:19:20,799 --> 01:19:21,669
- You too damn serious,
that's who's too serious.
1948
01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:27,763
That's a nice crowd right there,
boy.
1949
01:19:28,764 --> 01:19:29,939
- He sneaky.
1950
01:19:30,330 --> 01:19:31,767
- Come on, come on, get inside.
1951
01:19:35,901 --> 01:19:37,207
I got something to tell you.
1952
01:19:38,469 --> 01:19:39,513
Promise not to get mad.
1953
01:19:39,557 --> 01:19:41,037
- What you done did now?
1954
01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:44,257
- Okay look, Miss Tanya know
about us.
1955
01:19:44,301 --> 01:19:46,216
She know about you and she know
about me.
1956
01:19:47,608 --> 01:19:49,872
She know we not, she
knows you're not a deacon,
1957
01:19:49,915 --> 01:19:51,308
and I'm not a preacher.
1958
01:19:51,351 --> 01:19:52,831
She know we used to
work at Roach Stompers,
1959
01:19:52,875 --> 01:19:54,180
she know everything.
1960
01:19:54,224 --> 01:19:56,443
It's not my fault. Junior,
it's not my fault--
1961
01:19:56,487 --> 01:19:57,575
- Shut up!
1962
01:19:58,924 --> 01:20:00,926
Okay, that's first of all. Just
shut up.
1963
01:20:00,970 --> 01:20:03,102
Okay, second of all, I
want you to know something,
1964
01:20:03,146 --> 01:20:05,975
I like Miss Tanya, okay? She
like me.
1965
01:20:06,018 --> 01:20:09,239
Things was going well smooth,
but that's besides the point.
1966
01:20:09,282 --> 01:20:10,980
We got a much bigger problem.
1967
01:20:11,023 --> 01:20:13,634
Our much bigger problem is
there's a gang after us,
1968
01:20:13,678 --> 01:20:16,855
they beat us with bamboo sticks,
remember?
1969
01:20:16,899 --> 01:20:20,467
Now, there's $8,000 out
there, and you got to get it.
1970
01:20:20,511 --> 01:20:22,905
Okay, because you said you had
the plan.
1971
01:20:22,948 --> 01:20:24,254
And what did I tell you I was
going to do
1972
01:20:24,297 --> 01:20:26,822
if the plan didn't work?
1973
01:20:28,171 --> 01:20:28,954
- No, no--
1974
01:20:28,998 --> 01:20:30,956
- I'ma bust your ass.
1975
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:33,567
It ain't gonna be $10,000 ass
whooping,
1976
01:20:33,611 --> 01:20:35,700
because that was seven days ago.
1977
01:20:35,743 --> 01:20:37,571
Now, we got compounded interest.
1978
01:20:37,615 --> 01:20:40,009
That's $10,000 with seven days
interest.
1979
01:20:40,052 --> 01:20:44,317
That adds up to, a big ass
whooping!
1980
01:20:44,361 --> 01:20:47,407
I don't even know if you got
enough ass to pay that bill.
1981
01:20:47,451 --> 01:20:49,235
Okay, let's get out of here
and get this money, right?
1982
01:20:49,279 --> 01:20:51,020
- I'ma come right behind you,
okay?
1983
01:20:51,063 --> 01:20:52,282
Right after you, okay?
1984
01:20:57,461 --> 01:21:00,899
k Out of glory, Lord up high
1985
01:21:02,901 --> 01:21:04,337
- Bring your ass out here!
1986
01:21:04,381 --> 01:21:05,686
- I was right behind
you, the door got stuck.
1987
01:21:26,055 --> 01:21:27,186
- You think the Oharas are bad.
1988
01:21:27,230 --> 01:21:28,318
Man, your mama's out there, man.
1989
01:21:28,361 --> 01:21:30,059
- I know, I just saw her. I saw
that.
1990
01:21:30,102 --> 01:21:31,712
- Now hurry, we need that
$2,000 and we out of here.
1991
01:21:31,756 --> 01:21:32,931
- Hey daddy.
1992
01:21:36,108 --> 01:21:38,458
- Brothers and Sisters,
what an amazing week.
1993
01:21:43,115 --> 01:21:44,943
Amazing.
- Amazing.
1994
01:21:46,336 --> 01:21:47,990
- But I stand before you
humbled.
1995
01:21:48,729 --> 01:21:49,774
- Humbled.
1996
01:21:50,601 --> 01:21:52,908
- See, I messed up this week.
1997
01:21:53,125 --> 01:21:54,039
- Messed up.
1998
01:21:54,083 --> 01:21:54,997
- Screwed up bad.
1999
01:21:55,258 --> 01:21:56,476
- Screwed up bad.
2000
01:21:58,087 --> 01:21:59,566
- Never meant to hurt nobody.
2001
01:22:00,002 --> 01:22:01,351
- Never meant it.
2002
01:22:01,394 --> 01:22:03,092
- But I gotta come clean.
2003
01:22:04,615 --> 01:22:07,183
You see, I ain't a Preacher.
2004
01:22:08,575 --> 01:22:10,795
- Oh my Lord!
2005
01:22:10,838 --> 01:22:12,971
- I told you babe, they're
phonies.
2006
01:22:13,015 --> 01:22:14,494
- She ain't your babe.
2007
01:22:15,974 --> 01:22:17,410
- Just wait till you get home.
2008
01:22:18,629 --> 01:22:20,283
- This whole thing was a hustle.
2009
01:22:21,110 --> 01:22:23,808
Because I owed the karate kids
the money.
2010
01:22:24,417 --> 01:22:28,160
What I really want to
say is y'all good people
2011
01:22:28,204 --> 01:22:30,380
and I never set out to hurt
anyone.
2012
01:22:32,034 --> 01:22:35,167
I did lie, but it all
sort of just happened.
2013
01:22:35,211 --> 01:22:38,083
See, this money dropped and
then there was this chase
2014
01:22:38,127 --> 01:22:39,955
and then we were mistaken
for replacement ministers
2015
01:22:39,998 --> 01:22:41,043
here at the church.
2016
01:22:41,086 --> 01:22:42,827
- How could you do that to me?
2017
01:22:43,349 --> 01:22:46,004
- Then I fell in love
with this beautiful woman.
2018
01:22:46,787 --> 01:22:49,225
A woman I could never in
this life hope to deserve.
2019
01:22:51,314 --> 01:22:52,880
We bug exterminators.
2020
01:22:53,490 --> 01:22:54,882
Roach Stompers.
2021
01:22:55,666 --> 01:22:56,841
- Look at his feet, we should've
known
2022
01:22:56,884 --> 01:22:58,147
he was stomping something.
2023
01:22:58,538 --> 01:22:59,670
- Shyster!
2024
01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:03,152
- Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
2025
01:23:03,195 --> 01:23:08,200
- Get off the stage! That's
holy ground you're standing on!
2026
01:23:10,550 --> 01:23:12,988
- Y'all missing the
big picture here, okay.
2027
01:23:13,031 --> 01:23:17,731
Think about it, even though
Freddy wasn't no real minister,
2028
01:23:18,863 --> 01:23:20,343
he was a pretty good one.
2029
01:23:20,386 --> 01:23:21,779
- He was all
right.
2030
01:23:24,651 --> 01:23:27,002
- What about the clothes
closet, huh? Reopened.
2031
01:23:27,915 --> 01:23:29,700
Mrs. Evelyn, she got her dog
back.
2032
01:23:30,701 --> 01:23:31,963
- I got my dog back!
2033
01:23:34,052 --> 01:23:35,967
- I know that because I got
knocked out getting him.
2034
01:23:36,011 --> 01:23:38,187
- That man did knock him out.
2035
01:23:38,230 --> 01:23:40,624
- Miss Tanya, you got
a whole new ministry.
2036
01:23:42,800 --> 01:23:45,933
And Benny, Benny was healed.
2037
01:23:50,590 --> 01:23:53,158
Oh yeah, a lot of good
things have taken place
2038
01:23:53,202 --> 01:23:55,291
in this church this week.
2039
01:23:55,639 --> 01:24:00,296
And lo and behold, Pastor
Freddy's greatest work,
2040
01:24:02,167 --> 01:24:04,430
is what y'all looking at right
now,
2041
01:24:04,474 --> 01:24:07,216
is a diagnosed kleptomaniac.
2042
01:24:09,218 --> 01:24:13,048
But after getting knocked
out cold, after getting beat
2043
01:24:13,874 --> 01:24:16,529
with bamboo sticks all about
the head, face and neck,
2044
01:24:17,269 --> 01:24:19,010
I decided I would never steal
again.
2045
01:24:21,795 --> 01:24:24,363
That's all because of Pastor.
2046
01:24:28,367 --> 01:24:29,847
Can I get an Amen?
2047
01:24:30,761 --> 01:24:32,980
And in closing, I'd just
like to say, y'all should
2048
01:24:33,024 --> 01:24:34,547
thank Pastor for that.
2049
01:24:34,591 --> 01:24:36,245
If it wasn't for Pastor Freddy,
2050
01:24:36,288 --> 01:24:39,117
Junior been done robbed all of
y'all
2051
01:24:39,161 --> 01:24:41,076
about four, five times already.
2052
01:24:42,599 --> 01:24:44,079
- Excuse me, young man.
2053
01:24:46,690 --> 01:24:51,173
- I think I have a right
to say something here.
2054
01:25:07,450 --> 01:25:09,582
This here is my church.
2055
01:25:10,322 --> 01:25:14,152
And young Freddy has said that
he admits
2056
01:25:14,196 --> 01:25:15,588
to hustling us.
2057
01:25:17,199 --> 01:25:18,852
Well I won't have it!
2058
01:25:22,029 --> 01:25:26,599
I think you two have it
all wrong, the both of you.
2059
01:25:27,731 --> 01:25:30,864
I hear what you're saying,
Junior, about good deeds,
2060
01:25:30,908 --> 01:25:32,431
and I agree with you.
2061
01:25:32,475 --> 01:25:36,348
But what I can't agree
with is the contention
2062
01:25:36,392 --> 01:25:39,308
that Freddy hustled us.
2063
01:25:43,094 --> 01:25:45,314
You think you hustled these
people?
2064
01:25:46,924 --> 01:25:49,796
Well I think God hustled you.
2065
01:25:53,974 --> 01:25:57,761
Hustled you into holding my
church down
2066
01:25:57,804 --> 01:25:59,589
until I could return.
2067
01:26:00,981 --> 01:26:04,115
Look at all the good, you
think you did that on your own.
2068
01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:06,335
That was God's work.
2069
01:26:10,556 --> 01:26:14,560
And when God speaks to you
like that directly, son,
2070
01:26:14,604 --> 01:26:16,823
you must listen.
2071
01:26:18,521 --> 01:26:20,087
- This is my church!
2072
01:26:21,306 --> 01:26:23,743
I'm next in line, you was
supposed to hack your way
2073
01:26:23,787 --> 01:26:25,963
all the way to the
hospital for the last time.
2074
01:26:26,006 --> 01:26:27,443
You was supposed to be dead.
2075
01:26:28,183 --> 01:26:32,230
And you, you fake Don
Cornelius, Soul Train dancing,
2076
01:26:32,274 --> 01:26:33,666
pop-locking and you ain't
nothing
2077
01:26:33,710 --> 01:26:35,755
but a wolf in pimp's clothing.
2078
01:26:35,799 --> 01:26:37,540
And all y'all his hos!
2079
01:26:39,150 --> 01:26:41,805
And you, I was gonna make
you the future Mrs. Efrom.
2080
01:26:41,848 --> 01:26:43,546
- And look it here, you
better get on out this church
2081
01:26:43,589 --> 01:26:44,895
before I put a whipping on you.
2082
01:26:44,938 --> 01:26:45,983
- What?
2083
01:26:46,026 --> 01:26:47,245
- I'll give you a front row
seat!
2084
01:26:47,289 --> 01:26:48,638
- You ain't nothing!
2085
01:26:54,252 --> 01:26:57,995
- Freddy, you have raised
8 of the $10,000 you need,
2086
01:26:58,038 --> 01:26:59,126
is that correct?
2087
01:26:59,170 --> 01:27:00,258
- That's correct.
2088
01:27:00,302 --> 01:27:02,086
- Well I thank the congregation.
2089
01:27:03,435 --> 01:27:04,784
We have to help them out.
2090
01:27:05,785 --> 01:27:08,614
I think we should make a
collection.
2091
01:27:10,268 --> 01:27:13,358
The church is supposed
to help souls in trouble.
2092
01:27:14,272 --> 01:27:17,536
And we have to help young
Freddy,
2093
01:27:17,580 --> 01:27:20,235
because he held this church down
2094
01:27:20,800 --> 01:27:22,062
for the past week.
2095
01:27:22,106 --> 01:27:23,760
Now we gotta help him
through this trouble.
2096
01:27:24,543 --> 01:27:25,849
Music?
2097
01:27:28,286 --> 01:27:29,374
- Jesus!
2098
01:27:33,639 --> 01:27:35,119
- I wish I could dress like
that.
2099
01:27:41,647 --> 01:27:43,258
- Where is my money?
2100
01:27:43,780 --> 01:27:45,085
- He got it.
2101
01:27:47,392 --> 01:27:48,654
- He got it.
2102
01:27:49,829 --> 01:27:51,744
- I think it's time for a
collection.
2103
01:28:03,887 --> 01:28:05,280
- Move a little faster!
2104
01:28:12,199 --> 01:28:15,115
- Now
get out of my church.
2105
01:28:15,986 --> 01:28:17,901
- That's right, get your ass out
of here!
2106
01:28:19,206 --> 01:28:20,904
- I hope you
choke on an egg roll!
2107
01:28:22,949 --> 01:28:24,255
- Can we have some music?
2108
01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:25,648
- My pleasure, Rev.
2109
01:28:30,305 --> 01:28:32,132
- Come on baby, go and play the
piano.
2110
01:28:32,176 --> 01:28:33,525
That's my baby.
2111
01:28:37,224 --> 01:28:39,662
k Lay awake at night
2112
01:28:39,705 --> 01:28:42,099
k Right beneath the street
2113
01:28:42,142 --> 01:28:43,492
- Do you believe this happened?
2114
01:28:43,535 --> 01:28:45,494
They really stood up for us.
2115
01:28:45,537 --> 01:28:47,452
- Nobody ever did that for me
before.
2116
01:28:47,496 --> 01:28:48,888
We got to change.
2117
01:28:50,237 --> 01:28:52,370
- You gotta stop stealing,
that's what it is.
2118
01:28:52,936 --> 01:28:53,763
- Yeah.
2119
01:28:53,806 --> 01:28:55,330
- And be nice.
2120
01:28:55,852 --> 01:28:56,940
- Yeah.
2121
01:28:56,983 --> 01:28:57,680
- You like the black
Grinch,
2122
01:28:57,723 --> 01:28:58,507
you need to be nice now.
2123
01:28:59,812 --> 01:29:01,205
- What you mean, Black Grinch?
2124
01:29:02,728 --> 01:29:04,121
- You don't like nobody.
2125
01:29:05,688 --> 01:29:07,211
You take everything like the
Grinch, don't give it back,
2126
01:29:07,254 --> 01:29:08,778
I borrow my stuff.
2127
01:29:09,648 --> 01:29:11,171
All my stuff makes it to the
pawn shop,
2128
01:29:11,215 --> 01:29:13,260
and somebody else gets it,
so really I'm giving it back.
2129
01:29:13,304 --> 01:29:14,392
- Okay--
2130
01:29:14,436 --> 01:29:15,654
- Kind of like Robin
Hood.
2131
01:29:16,089 --> 01:29:17,613
- That's my part, you
know.
2132
01:29:19,049 --> 01:29:20,398
You gonna be having a real hard
problem,
2133
01:29:20,442 --> 01:29:23,314
because your problem is that
you're dumb.
2134
01:29:23,575 --> 01:29:25,490
So I don't see how you can
change that,
2135
01:29:26,099 --> 01:29:27,492
you was born like that, right?
2136
01:29:29,538 --> 01:29:31,975
I would think that anybody
that's dumb,
2137
01:29:32,932 --> 01:29:34,369
it's not really their fault.
2138
01:29:34,847 --> 01:29:36,109
- But God likes me more than he
likes you,
2139
01:29:36,153 --> 01:29:37,372
because he made me lighter.
2140
01:29:40,462 --> 01:29:41,724
- Is that so?
2141
01:29:41,767 --> 01:29:42,942
- See how I got on white
and you got on black?
2142
01:29:43,726 --> 01:29:45,684
Not by accident, because God.
2143
01:29:46,337 --> 01:29:51,342
- Well maybe it's time that you
got Satan
2144
01:29:53,083 --> 01:29:54,345
out your life!
2145
01:29:54,389 --> 01:29:57,087
Join me, Reverend Paid
in my house of worship,
2146
01:29:57,130 --> 01:29:58,871
five services every Sunday.
2147
01:29:58,915 --> 01:30:02,309
We have a three-tiered
membership plan, 500; 1500,
2148
01:30:02,353 --> 01:30:05,008
and our gold plan $2,000.
2149
01:30:08,490 --> 01:30:10,143
- Calm down, I got you, I got
you. Come on, relax, relax.
2150
01:30:10,187 --> 01:30:12,450
Relax, open your breathing,
open your breathing.
2151
01:30:12,494 --> 01:30:15,192
You ain't got your pacifier
with you, slow down, breathe.
2152
01:30:15,235 --> 01:30:17,890
Breathe, pretend you light skin.
2153
01:30:17,934 --> 01:30:18,935
You light skin.
2154
01:30:18,978 --> 01:30:20,240
Yeah, light skin.
2155
01:30:20,850 --> 01:30:22,155
- I don't like roaches.
2156
01:30:23,679 --> 01:30:25,507
Let him go, let him go, man!
2157
01:30:25,550 --> 01:30:26,464
You feeling stronger?
2158
01:30:26,508 --> 01:30:27,813
- Hey, come on man!
2159
01:30:28,205 --> 01:30:29,554
Come on, come on.
2160
01:30:29,598 --> 01:30:30,947
- You ain't felt
no pressure like this!
2161
01:30:30,990 --> 01:30:32,339
- You see who he holding!
You see who he holding?
2162
01:30:32,383 --> 01:30:33,471
- You ain't felt
no pressure like this
2163
01:30:33,515 --> 01:30:34,646
since they shot your ass out the
cannon!
2164
01:30:34,690 --> 01:30:36,431
- Bring it! Bring it!
2165
01:30:39,042 --> 01:30:40,217
Better chill him.
2166
01:30:40,260 --> 01:30:41,610
- What's your phone
number, ma?
2167
01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:45,004
You know, the Short Stay
right around the corner,
2168
01:30:45,048 --> 01:30:46,266
I got thirty dollars.
2169
01:30:47,746 --> 01:30:48,704
- You guys see a girl
dressed as a cheeseburger
2170
01:30:48,747 --> 01:30:50,053
come by here?
2171
01:30:53,317 --> 01:30:54,623
- A girl dressed as a--
2172
01:30:54,971 --> 01:30:56,059
- You get outta here.
2173
01:30:57,364 --> 01:30:59,192
Get this burger out of
here! Get out of here!
2174
01:30:59,236 --> 01:31:01,456
Get out of here! I don't
want you on my property!
2175
01:31:01,499 --> 01:31:02,413
Get out of here!
2176
01:31:06,373 --> 01:31:07,940
- What y'all doing now?
2177
01:31:07,984 --> 01:31:09,202
What, y'all got some raw meat?
2178
01:31:09,246 --> 01:31:10,552
No, I don't want no more raw
meat.
2179
01:31:10,595 --> 01:31:13,076
That tri-tip y'all sold
me last week stuffed me.
2180
01:31:13,119 --> 01:31:15,557
I had to get some Ex-lax
and sat on the toilet
2181
01:31:15,600 --> 01:31:18,168
for about ten days to get
that stuff out of my body.
2182
01:31:18,211 --> 01:31:19,822
Now what y'all doing with
these trench coats on?
2183
01:31:19,865 --> 01:31:21,606
What is this? It's too hot
outside.
2184
01:31:21,650 --> 01:31:23,086
Trench coats and gym shoes.
2185
01:31:23,913 --> 01:31:25,915
Look at you. What's wrong with
you?
2186
01:31:25,958 --> 01:31:27,307
- You ain't never seen that man
before?
2187
01:31:27,351 --> 01:31:28,047
- What man?
2188
01:31:28,091 --> 01:31:29,484
- That man right there.
2189
01:31:32,356 --> 01:31:34,358
- Ain't no dogs allowed in here!
2190
01:31:35,228 --> 01:31:36,752
What church y'all from?
2191
01:31:37,317 --> 01:31:38,971
- Bethel, down the street, you
know what.
2192
01:31:39,015 --> 01:31:40,190
- Down the street?
2193
01:31:40,233 --> 01:31:41,670
- Right around the
corner, down the street.
2194
01:31:41,713 --> 01:31:42,888
- I ain't seen no church
member with some gym shoes on,
2195
01:31:42,932 --> 01:31:43,846
and a trench coat.
2196
01:31:43,889 --> 01:31:44,934
What kind of church?
2197
01:31:46,196 --> 01:31:47,980
The New Church of Trench
Coats and Gym Shoes?
2198
01:31:48,024 --> 01:31:49,242
And a headband?
2199
01:31:49,286 --> 01:31:51,201
- We a new congregation. Go
along with it.
2200
01:31:51,244 --> 01:31:52,115
Just go along with it.
2201
01:31:54,421 --> 01:31:56,685
Just go over there and
pretend like we pet detectives
2202
01:31:56,728 --> 01:31:57,816
and get the dog back.
2203
01:31:57,860 --> 01:31:59,165
Just go along with it, just play
it easy
2204
01:31:59,209 --> 01:32:00,471
and go along with it, we got
this.
2205
01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:01,559
- Tell you one thing,
if some shit go down,
2206
01:32:01,603 --> 01:32:02,821
that's your ass, I ain't messing
2207
01:32:02,865 --> 01:32:04,780
with that big nigga over there.
2208
01:32:06,042 --> 01:32:09,262
- You want it right to camera?
Right to cambra--camera.
2209
01:32:27,846 --> 01:32:31,633
Maybe you need to get Sa-tan
2210
01:32:32,808 --> 01:32:34,113
out your life.
2211
01:32:37,639 --> 01:32:38,988
- Don't disappoint me.
2212
01:32:41,164 --> 01:32:42,687
I got my eye on you.
2213
01:32:44,428 --> 01:32:46,561
All of you, .
2214
01:32:48,998 --> 01:32:50,260
La cucaracha.
2215
01:33:02,315 --> 01:33:04,013
I don't know why I hit you.
2216
01:33:06,711 --> 01:33:08,974
I slapped you, because the joke
went dead,
2217
01:33:09,018 --> 01:33:10,976
and I was messing up
and I just slapped you?
2218
01:33:11,020 --> 01:33:12,282
What is that?
2219
01:33:18,375 --> 01:33:19,768
k Trying to tell y'all something
2220
01:33:20,725 --> 01:33:21,900
k Checkmate
2221
01:33:22,727 --> 01:33:24,599
k One, two, with amazing raps
2222
01:33:24,642 --> 01:33:26,688
k Bring the track back with
amazing tracks
2223
01:33:26,731 --> 01:33:28,603
k 15's in the trunk with amazing
slaps
2224
01:33:28,646 --> 01:33:30,822
k I'm so damn hot, I take
amazing craps
2225
01:33:30,866 --> 01:33:32,650
k Ooh-wee, you know that the boy
is gifted
2226
01:33:32,694 --> 01:33:34,696
k Roll down the window
when I smoke a spliff then
2227
01:33:34,739 --> 01:33:36,654
k I ought to be a player
I'm so damn swifty
2228
01:33:36,698 --> 01:33:37,568
k Got your mama in the whip
2229
01:33:37,612 --> 01:33:38,700
k Because she so damn freaky
2230
01:33:38,743 --> 01:33:40,615
k Boosie, Boosie, that's all I
hear
2231
01:33:40,658 --> 01:33:42,878
k Whisper in my ear tickling my
rear k
2232
01:33:49,188 --> 01:33:52,670
k I wanna know you, you wanna
know me
2233
01:33:52,714 --> 01:33:55,847
k In reality
2234
01:33:56,152 --> 01:33:59,677
k Me and you
2235
01:34:00,069 --> 01:34:03,333
k You and me, a scene
2236
01:34:03,638 --> 01:34:07,859
k Me and you
2237
01:34:08,730 --> 01:34:10,862
k Yeah
2238
01:34:24,833 --> 01:34:29,185
k Felt like this, the way
I'm feeling right now k
2239
01:34:50,946 --> 01:34:52,643
k Certainly
2240
01:34:53,688 --> 01:34:56,125
k You're hot and horny
2241
01:34:57,561 --> 01:34:59,041
k Oh baby
2242
01:35:01,696 --> 01:35:04,263
k I know that you want it too
2243
01:35:04,786 --> 01:35:06,918
k So baby, I'm gonna
2244
01:35:08,137 --> 01:35:11,618
k Take your clothes off
2245
01:35:12,228 --> 01:35:15,405
k I'm gonna do it to you baby
2246
01:35:16,188 --> 01:35:20,453
k I'm gonna make some
love all night to you baby
2247
01:35:20,802 --> 01:35:23,761
k I'm gonna love you my way
2248
01:35:24,631 --> 01:35:28,505
k Because you got me feenin' for
your
2249
01:35:28,897 --> 01:35:32,161
k Your body k
2250
01:35:39,603 --> 01:35:40,778
k Hustle
2251
01:35:40,822 --> 01:35:43,041
k Hustle, hustle
2252
01:35:43,476 --> 01:35:47,611
k I know everything's gonna be
all right
2253
01:35:49,178 --> 01:35:51,223
k Hustle, hustle
2254
01:35:51,789 --> 01:35:55,793
k From the sunrise to the late
night
2255
01:36:00,145 --> 01:36:03,322
k I gotta make it out the hood
2256
01:36:03,366 --> 01:36:06,238
k I gotta find a way out
2257
01:36:07,849 --> 01:36:10,721
k Some say that I'm
misunderstood
2258
01:36:10,765 --> 01:36:14,769
k But I gotta get by somehow
2259
01:36:14,812 --> 01:36:19,251
k I wanna live my life
wide awake all night
2260
01:36:20,035 --> 01:36:22,646
k I've made up my mind
2261
01:36:23,081 --> 01:36:27,607
k See it's my time to take what
is mine
2262
01:36:28,086 --> 01:36:29,958
k I want it all
2263
01:36:30,001 --> 01:36:32,787
k So I just gotta hustle
2264
01:36:33,744 --> 01:36:37,661
k I know everything is gonna be
all right
2265
01:36:38,183 --> 01:36:41,099
k Hustle,
2266
01:36:41,926 --> 01:36:45,756
k From the sunrise to the late
night
2267
01:36:47,714 --> 01:36:49,542
k Hustle, hustle
2268
01:36:50,326 --> 01:36:54,199
k I know everything's gonna be
all right
2269
01:36:55,984 --> 01:36:57,855
k Hustle, hustle
2270
01:36:58,725 --> 01:37:02,686
k From the sunrise to the late
night
2271
01:37:04,427 --> 01:37:06,821
k 'Cause I hustle k
154019
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