Original subtitles

[elegant music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Cory.

- Hi, Frank, what can I do for you?

- Donny's trying to go to McDonald's by himself.

- Donny, get in here.

Frankie says you're going to McDonald's by yourself?

- You...

You fucking snitch.

- Donny, you know if you're gonna go to McDonald's,

you got to take a burger buddy.

- Yeah.

Why do we got to take a burger buddy, anyways?

- Because.

When you eat by yourself,

it looks lonely.

And it makes other people feel lonely

to have to look at you.

- I know.

- How come Frank can't go with you?

He's going to his cousin's quinceañera.

- [sighs] Well, I'll tell you what.

You know, I...

I really appreciate you doing my taxes this year.

Why don't I be your burger buddy?

We can go tonight for dinner, how does that sound?

- Okay. - Now, don't you have something

you want to say to Frankie?

- Sorry I called you a snitch, Frank.

- It's okay.

- Hey, Cory. - Yeah?

- Do you know where the headphones are?

- Yeah, they're in the bathroom upstairs.

- You think it'd be okay if...

if I borrowed 'em?

- Oh, I'd rather keep 'em where they are.

I like to listen to music when I use the toilet.

- Oh.

You know how they're...

mine?

- Yeah.

- You know how that is?

- Yeah...

- Well, seeing as that they're mine and all,

and you know how that is...

I was just thinking... - Look, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you use your headphones,

and, well, if I need to use

the toilet, I'll... I'll just come

and take 'em from you?

- Okay. Thanks, Cory.

[buzzing]

[Genesis's "I Can't Dance"]

♪ ♪

[reflective music]

♪ ♪

- So, Christian, uh, what brings you by?

- Is there somewhere we could talk privately?

- Oh, he's got his headphones on.

He's pretty busy doing my taxes.

What's on your mind?

- Okay.

So, I was coming home from the grocery store today,

and I walked into the courtyard,

and I saw Donny.

And, uh...

he was, uh...

- He was what?

- He was dancing.

- Jesus.

- Right out in front.

In public.

- I wonder if this is just some sort of a...

a one-time thing.

- Oh. Could be.

Could be a one-time thing.

Or maybe it's a new thing.

- [sighs]

I mean, he knows better.

I wonder if something just came over him.

- I don't know.

Seemed pretty well-rehearsed to me.

- [sighs heavily]

- Hey, Donny.

[wind rustling]

♪ ♪

[knocks softly]

- Oh, what's up, burger buddy?

I'm almost done with your taxes; I'm just taking a quick break.

Anyway, when we rip up McDonald's tonight,

do you want to go to the one on Western

or the one on Sunset? - Sport, we need to talk.

Were you dancing outside earlier?

- [snorts] No.

- In the courtyard, earlier today,

you were not dancing?

- What? No.

- Donny?

- Did Christian tell you that?

- He did.

- Man, what a snitch. Christian can suck my ding.

- Okay. Now, if you're gonna be dancing outside,

you're darn right he's gonna tell me.

- But I wasn't dancing.

- Donny... - I wasn't dancing.

- Donny? - I wasn't dancing.

- All right, that's it.

No McDonald's. - What?!

We were supposed to be burger buddies, dude.

- Yeah, well, burger buddies don't lie to each other, dude.

- [sighs]

Man, you trust Christian more than you trust me.

- Donny, he's a professor at the junior college.

- Professor at what, snitching and ding-sucking?

Just forget it.

I wasn't dancing, Cory.

I was just walking.

- ♪ ...wants to do is rub my face in the dirt ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't dance ♪

♪ I can't talk ♪

♪ Only thing about me is the way I walk ♪

[sad whistling]

- What's up with you?

- Oh, I'm just starving to death; what about you?

- Thought you knew. I'm walkin'.

- Oh, better not let the neighbors see.

- Look, I'm sorry I didn't believe you.

Christian's just easy to trust 'cause he's taller than me.

I know he's an adulterer.

Anyway, just gonna go for a walk.

You want to come?

- No.

I'm just gonna stay home and make a salad.

- All right. Just thinking maybe I'd go down

to McDonald's.

Thought maybe you'd want to come.

Anyway, see you later.

♪ Royksopp's "Daddy's Groove" ♪

♪ ♪

- You know, you're not even doing it right.

♪ ♪

You got to move your arms and legs

in the same direction.

- Maybe you could teach me how.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Dinner's in the oven ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Kids are in your face ♪

♪ ♪

- What the fuck are you guys doing?

♪ ♪

- We're walkin'.

- ♪ Son is in my head ♪

- We're going to McDonald's.

- ♪ Daddy's groove ♪

You coming?

♪ ♪

[wind rustling]

♪ ["I Can't Dance"] ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey, where you guys going?

- We're going to McDonald's.

Want to come?

- Oh, hell yeah!

- ♪ ...beating down ♪

♪ Burning my feet ♪

♪ Just walking around ♪

♪ Hot sun making me sweat ♪

♪ 'Gators getting close, hasn't got me yet ♪

♪ I can't dance ♪

♪ I can't talk ♪

♪ Only thing about me is the way I walk ♪

♪ I can't dance ♪

♪ I can't sing ♪

♪ I'm just standing here ♪

♪ Selling everything ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Blue jeans sitting on the beach ♪

♪ Her dog's talking to me, but she's out of reach ♪

♪ She's got a body under that shirt ♪

♪ But all she wants to do ♪

♪ Is rub my face in the dirt ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't dance ♪

♪ I can't talk ♪

♪ Only thing about me is the way I walk ♪

♪ I... ♪

[elegant music]

♪ ♪

[lounge music]

♪ ♪

- Oh. Hey, Christian. - Hey, Cory.

- Hey, if you're free later, you should stop by.

We're having a potluck for New Look Day.

- What's New Look Day?

- Well, once a year, me and the guys get together,

and we sort of create a safe space

where we can try out a new look...

Something outside of our normal style

that we're not really sure we can pull off,

like a puka shell necklace or a cool cowboy hat.

Anyway, we just give it a trial run

and see how it feels before we wear it out in public.

- That's a great idea.

- Then she put her foot up here,

and she had zebra print toenail polish.

It was driving me crazy, man.

So, uh, what are you gonna wear for New Look Day?

- Oh...

well, Cory says we're not supposed to talk about

our new looks before the party.

Says it taints our first impression.

- Oh, come on.

- Tell you this much, though...

I'm going big this year, Frank.

- [sighs]

- Man, I still don't know what I'm gonna wear.

- I know just what I'm gonna wear.

Hey, if you don't mind, maybe I'll bring my mistress along?

- Well, nothing against Rachel,

but Donny gets a little uncomfortable when

you bring around the women with whom you're

cheating on your wife with.

- Totally understandable.

Hey, Donny.

[Carl Anderson's "Silver Lining"]

- ♪ I saw you in a picture ♪

♪ A couple days ago ♪

♪ Oh, my sister ♪

♪ And she was two years old ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Well, it must've been... ♪

[Kossisko's "Across the Room"]

- ♪ Saw come across the room ♪

♪ When I saw you come across the ♪

♪ Saw you come across the ♪

♪ When I saw you come across the room ♪

♪ Saw you come across the ♪

- Donny, you keep playing that song,

you're gonna wear it out. - No duh, thanks.

[laid-back music]

♪ ♪

- Look, don't... Don't get me wrong,

the Walgreens on Highland is slappin',

but the one on Sunset is slappin'.

- I agree. - Cheers to that.

- So tell me about these dancing lessons.

- Oh, so I take these lessons... - Uh-huh.

- You know, private lessons.

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

- Oh, that's a double cheeseburger right there,

my boy. - Taco cheers?

All: Cheers to that.

- The burger, see, 'cause it's diverse.

- We're not cheersing to that.

- Is that Andie MacDowell?

- Yeah, she lives in the courtyard.

- You never saw "Sex, Lies, and Videotape"?

- No. - Oh, that movie is slappin'.

- To New Look Day? - All right.

- New Look Day. - Thank you, Frank.

- What's up, man?

- Carne asada is real thin, you know what I mean?

[indistinct chatter]

- Wow, this is an incredible spread you guys got here.

- Oh, thank you. You know he's married, right?

- ♪ So tonight, I'm gonna give my love ♪

♪ To a strange, strange, stranger ♪

♪ Give my love ♪

♪ When I saw you come across the room ♪

♪ Saw you come across the ♪

♪ When I saw you come across the room ♪

♪ Saw you come across the ♪

♪ Across the room ♪

- All right, everybody, listen up.

I think we've had enough time to mingle,

so why don't we all grab a chair, and we can start voting?

If you want any food, grab it now,

'cause I'm gonna throw all this shit away.

- So I tried wearing the earring.

- And you also tried not wearing your wedding ring?

- Oh, that's... That's not a new look.

- Well, Christian,

other than Donny's vote, it's pretty much a slam dunk.

With your confidence and your height,

I think you can pretty much pull off anything you want to.

- Even adultery.

- Okay, Rachel, you're up.

- I actually don't feel comfortable being judged

by a room full of men and Andie MacDowell,

so I'm not gonna go up, actually.

- Okay. Andie, you're up.

- Okay, I have this, uh, new look necklace

that I got at Chanel to wear to the Emmys,

and I thought I could just wear it every day.

- Andie, do you mind if we just touch the necklace?

- No, you can... here.

- How much is the necklace worth?

- $4,000. - This necklace is thick.

It's got some back on it; I like that.

It's got a petite chain, though.

I like that, too. It's cute.

- Andie, the necklace was shiny, dense, heavy,

and it looked very expensive.

But unfortunately,

you didn't pull it off.

- Aww. Really?

- It's just a bit much.

- You already sparkle.

- Rachel, I'm gonna give it to you.

Here you go, baby.

- Oh, my God.

- So, um, I don't know if I'm breaking the rules.

Like, I might be being a bad boy right now,

but I didn't try a new look.

I tried a new word.

I don't know if you guys noticed earlier,

but...

I've been saying slappin'.

I try to use it organically in conversation

at least once with each of you.

And every one of you... - He did.

- I can give you an example, too, if you like.

Uh, like, um, ask me what I think of that tapestry.

- What do you think of that tapestry?

- It's slappin'.

- Brent, your new word, slappin',

was slappin'.

You pulled it off.

- Slappin'!

- Okay, Kevin, you're up next.

- So, uh, I just tried the name... Eric.

I don't know, it's...

- I didn't know him before, so I just assumed

his name was Eric.

So I'm just not really sure how to vote.

- I haven't really been counting your votes

anyway, sweetheart.

- [softly] Easy. She doesn't know she wasn't invited.

- Kevin, you pulled it off.

Congratulations, Eric.

- Oh, fuck.

Oh, come on.

You're fucking with me.

Oh, fuck. Fuck!

Yeah! Oh, fuck!

- Come on, Eric. Sit back down.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, guys. Thank you.

- Frank, is this a new... look?

Or a new... identity?

- I don't know.

- Okay, well, I mean,

I'm sure I speak for us all when we say,

just, you know, do you.

Uh...

but I think we can judge the dress.

- You didn't pull off the dress.

- Ugh!

- Somebody wrote, "The accessories

don't match the pattern."

- I wrote that.

- It's all good.

- Okay, so, I tried the mustache and the cowboy hat.

- And can you please turn for me?

- That chin ain't that thick, though.

[sad music]

♪ ♪

- Cory, well, first off,

I just wanted to say,

you've been crashing on my couch for a while now,

and I know how that can make someone feel like

it's their personal space.

And in a way, you've let us into your living room,

and hell, you hosted us tonight,

and, I don't know, I just think that's really cool.

- No problem. It was absolutely my pleasure.

- So anyways, I tallied the votes, and...

read the comments, and...

the mustache,

you didn't pull it off.

♪ ♪

[sighs] So the mustache goes.

Well, the mustache stays until the rest of the beard

grows back and fastens itself back to the rest of it.

And the cowboy hat...

you didn't pull it off, either.

Sorry, big guy.

♪ ♪

- Okay.

Hey, that's what New Look Day's for.

I appreciate all your honesty, everybody.

♪ ♪

Cory...

hat.

♪ ♪

So, I tried the straight hair,

this Burberry scarf here, and...

just this Hustle tattoo on my neck.

- [gasps] - [whispers] Slappin'.

- Some of the guys at the tennis court gave it to me

because they always say I hustle.

And it is permanent, but don't let that sway your vote.

I could easily hide it or get it removed.

Sorry if my straight hair's a little shocking.

I realize it does change my essence a bit.

- Okay, let's tally these up.

"I liked your curls better."

"Look like a character from 'Fraggle Rock'."

"I live with you, and I can't stand to look at it, so no."

Well, I'm sorry, sport.

You didn't pull off the straight hair.

Or the Burberry scarf.

And dang it, Donny, you know I don't like you hanging out

with those guys at the tennis courts.

But... I think I speak for us all when I say,

they did one hell of job with that tattoo.

You pulled it off, pal.

Congratulations. - That's enough, Frank.

- You need to get the curls popping, my boy.

- I think I'm gonna change my name back to Kevin.

- Oh, Andie, thanks for the necklace.

- Oh, no problem. - It's so pretty.

- [sighs softly]

Hey, Cory.

- Oh. Hey, pal.

- Hey, you want to watch a movie or something?

- Oh, I don't think so.

I just took a sleeping pill a few minutes ago.

Probably just hit the sack.

- I took one too, if you want to stay up

and fight it together.

Maybe we can trip out.

- I don't think I got that kind of fight in me

tonight, pal.

- Okay.

Good night, Cory.

[brushing] [spits]

["Daddy's Groove"]

Hey, Cory, I found this in the bathroom.

Is this your...

♪ ♪

- ♪ Wife is in the shower ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Song is in my head ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Daddy's groove ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Daddy's groove ♪

♪ ♪

- My boy.