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1
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,570
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
2
00:00:09,570 --> 00:00:11,110
[both grunting]
3
00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:23,410
[squawk]
4
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,180
[heavy breathing]
5
00:00:32,170 --> 00:00:34,380
‐ Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god,
we don't have noses!
6
00:00:34,380 --> 00:00:35,090
[all gasp]
7
00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:40,060
KORVO: Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
until the asteroid hit.
8
00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:43,680
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a pupa
9
00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:45,770
and escaped into, uh, the space,
10
00:00:48,820 --> 00:00:51,820
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
11
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:53,450
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
12
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,230
I'm the one holding the pupa.
My name's Korvo.
13
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,040
This is, this is my show.
I just dropped the pupa.
14
00:00:57,030 --> 00:00:59,070
Do you see me?
[stammers] This is ridiculous.
15
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,000
I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
16
00:01:00,990 --> 00:01:03,660
People are stupid.
Why did they make so many languages?
17
00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:05,780
Why didn't they just get together
and figure out one language
18
00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:08,170
so when I go to a Mexican restaurant
I can just order "cheese tube"
19
00:01:08,170 --> 00:01:09,880
and not have someone
roll their eyes at me.
20
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,880
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
21
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,430
♪
22
00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:19,760
[birds cawing]
23
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,800
‐ There's Kevin.
Ooh, he's got somethin' cool.
24
00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:25,980
‐ What is that?
It looks amazing.
25
00:01:25,980 --> 00:01:26,980
Come on, come on.
26
00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:32,990
Oh, Korvo,
Terry who looks like a Gary.
27
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:34,400
‐ I wish.
‐ Can we help you
28
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,060
with your "tig old bitties" sign?
29
00:01:36,070 --> 00:01:37,660
What is that?
A Catholic thing?
30
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:39,700
‐ [laughs]
No.
31
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,000
Tig old bitties.
You get it?
32
00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:44,490
Think about it.
Tig. Old. Bitties.
33
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,620
It's announcing that
the bitties are aged.
34
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:49,080
‐ Oh, my favorite bitties are tig.
35
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,580
‐ It's a joke sign for my man cave.
36
00:01:56,970 --> 00:01:59,390
A place I can express
my most private self.
37
00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:03,520
‐ Ooh.
‐ And the classic bass.
38
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,720
‐ What?
He's talking to me?
39
00:02:07,730 --> 00:02:08,940
This fish is full of surprises.
40
00:02:08,940 --> 00:02:11,530
‐ Ooh, posted rules.
Number one, the man is always right.
41
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,480
Number two, sports are life.
42
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,480
These are all new to me.
43
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,100
I don't want to be in violation
of any rules.
44
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,480
‐ [gasps]
‐ Oh, my God.
45
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,650
‐ God damn it, this‐
46
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:24,080
‐ Oh, oh, my.
‐ Ooh.
47
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,120
‐ There it is.
‐ Kevin, are you coming up‐‐
48
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,800
oh, god, did you actually spend $3,000
on that misogynistic sign?
49
00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:31,200
What is wrong with you?
‐ Babe, what I do
50
00:02:31,210 --> 00:02:33,170
with my Christmas bonus
is my Christmas business.
51
00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:34,340
‐ [sighs]
52
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,040
Please, please, please, please
can we have a man cave?
53
00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:39,600
‐ Yes.
‐ What, oh, really?
54
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:41,760
Oh, man, you should have held out.
I was gonna offer to suck your‐‐
55
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,300
‐ Kevin is so confident and happy.
He must get so much work done.
56
00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:46,980
Imagine how great our lives would be
if we could be this confident.
57
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:50,970
‐ Shut up, Kevin, we're imagining.
58
00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,530
‐ From Coretta Scott King
to Jill Soloway,
59
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,100
these are just a few notable feminists
60
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:58,240
who improved the lives
of women everywhere.
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00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,530
Ladies, this semester, your final grade
62
00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:02,790
depends on proof that you
fought the patriarchy.
63
00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:05,990
I want a full report on a glass ceiling
you tried to shatter by next Friday.
64
00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:07,820
‐ What does that even mean?
65
00:03:07,830 --> 00:03:09,840
‐ Uh, Miss Perez, what,
what do the boys have to do?
66
00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:12,580
‐ I don't care, the boys can just draw
a picture of a lightsaber or something.
67
00:03:12,580 --> 00:03:15,000
You might as well learn now that life
is just easier for you.
68
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,170
[bell ringing]
‐ Don't forget to rate and tip me
on the Teach app.
69
00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:20,170
Guys, guys, come on.
I need it for my asthma medicine.
70
00:03:20,170 --> 00:03:21,550
I live near the quarry.
71
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,430
I thought it meant I'd get
the better McDonald's toys.
72
00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:29,090
Now I have to topple something?
73
00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:34,110
I tried to explain that to you
the minute I chose to be a man
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00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:35,320
and became better at explaining things.
75
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:39,490
‐ I just need to find a glass ceiling
and shatter the crap out of it.
76
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:43,490
Otherwise, Jill Soloway made I Love Dick
for nothing.
77
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,750
Ooh, you wanna help?
We could topple it together.
78
00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,650
‐ Yeah, I'm gonna pass.
I'm just gonna hang back
79
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,170
and do a regular alien thing today.
80
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,040
‐ Seems kind of like a loaded topic.
81
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,870
Everyone on the internet is always
fighting about who can be president
82
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,550
or who can bust ghosts, but good luck.
83
00:03:57,550 --> 00:03:59,180
‐ It is not loaded!
84
00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:01,630
Gender issues are a totally normal
thing to mess with.
85
00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:06,630
Come on, Yumyulack, don't be like that.
Don't be such a man.
86
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,270
‐ Hey, do you guys mind
if I borrow the boomerang?
87
00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:10,810
Whoa, what's going on in here?
88
00:04:10,810 --> 00:04:12,730
‐ Welcome to our "manc ave."
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‐ Man cave!
90
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:19,070
Please read and strictly abide
by all of them before having fun.
91
00:04:19,070 --> 00:04:21,160
‐ Man only?
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
92
00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:22,480
Are you guys doing a gender thing, too?
93
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:29,920
Some sort of human code.
They were out of "tig old bitties" signs
94
00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:32,320
but the salesman said
it was in the same area, so...
95
00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:33,500
[whirring]
96
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,170
Pretty great, right?
Just like Kevin's.
97
00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:37,010
‐ No, yeah, I love how
it moves up and down.
98
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,120
Oh, it keeps you guessing.
99
00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:40,550
Ah, football is amazing.
100
00:04:40,550 --> 00:04:42,640
Apparently, we can watch
jets battle the color brown.
101
00:04:47,390 --> 00:04:50,310
Now everybody just sit back,
grab a cold one,
102
00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:53,310
and let the awesomeness
of the "manc ave" wash over them.
103
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,320
[football game on TV, indistinct]
104
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‐ Any second now.
105
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:03,660
[grunting]
106
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,190
‐ Oh, hello, I'm a female and
I'm looking for a patriarchy to topple.
107
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,830
I've never played this game,
but can I be your kicker, please?
108
00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:13,880
‐ [laughs]
No way.
109
00:05:13,870 --> 00:05:16,910
‐ A ha! You're freaking out
that I would fundamentally alter
110
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,760
the way society felt about women
in a male‐dominated sport.
111
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,420
Gotcha, suckers!
112
00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:25,500
‐ What? No. Girls have played
on high school football teams for years.
113
00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:27,810
You just can't be the kicker
because we already went
114
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,420
to the state supreme court
so a dog could be kicker.
115
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:34,900
Damn, Denver!
Good boy, good boy.
116
00:05:34,890 --> 00:05:36,680
You can be our starting quarterback.
How about that?
117
00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:40,070
Hey, Dylan! This girl who I haven't
seen play yet is taking your place.
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00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:42,600
‐ I'm fine with that.
It's not about winning. Woo!
119
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:46,490
‐ Ugh, finding a new struggle for women
is gonna be a real struggle.
120
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:50,990
‐ Um, I don't think so.
121
00:05:50,990 --> 00:05:52,650
Maybe it happened
and we just didn't notice yet?
122
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:54,630
‐ No, this is wrong.
Something's missing, Terry.
123
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:57,080
There has to be something Kevin
had in his "ave" that we don't have.
124
00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,080
‐ No, no, I know. I mean, we have
very man‐centric movie posters
125
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,870
with man themes like Boys Don't Cry,
Boys On The Side,
126
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,050
How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days.
127
00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:08,100
‐ Terry, pull up a live hologram feed
of Kevin's "manc ave."
128
00:06:08,090 --> 00:06:09,840
[whooshing]
129
00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:12,340
See, I don't get it.
It's exactly the same.
130
00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:14,270
Computer, analyze nitrogen levels and‐‐
131
00:06:14,270 --> 00:06:16,770
‐ Can you please come watch your son
blow out his candles?
132
00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:18,770
Everyone's waiting.
‐ Oh, he'll be three
133
00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:19,940
for like a whole year.
134
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,440
‐ Kevin.
‐ What kind of cake?
135
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,030
‐ Kevin!
‐ All right!
136
00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:25,650
[groans]
‐ God, I hate this man cave.
137
00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:27,360
‐ Computer, strip everything but Angela.
138
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,190
‐ He spends all of his time
in his stupid room full of toys
139
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,580
instead of with his family.
140
00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:33,360
I should have married Omry.
141
00:06:33,370 --> 00:06:36,040
‐ Terry, we were totally missing
the point of "manc aves."
142
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,830
‐ Oh, that we need to throw
way more birthday parties?
143
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,710
‐ The best part of being
in a "manc ave," Terry,
144
00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:42,710
is someone being irritated
that you're in a "manc ave."
145
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:44,680
‐ But I don't wanna take turns in here.
‐ Neither do I.
146
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,250
Which means we'll have to
147
00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:48,720
build a robot that hates us being
in the "manc ave."
148
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,260
[both cheering]
149
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:51,720
‐ Yeah!
‐ Terry!
150
00:06:52,010 --> 00:06:54,340
‐ By "we," you mean you, right?
‐ Yes, I'm going to be doing all the work.
151
00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:55,640
I was just trying to be nice.
152
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,430
‐ Wow, that was fast.
‐ I used a lot of parts
153
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:00,520
from the last robot I made.
154
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,990
‐ The one that was supposed to kill
those kids who threw a cup of pee at you?
155
00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:04,270
You got over that?
‐ For the moment,
156
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:05,390
they may keep their lives.
157
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,660
‐ Well, I tell you what,
here's the headline.
158
00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:09,270
It looks great.
Now did you use the specs I gave you
159
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:11,490
to make her the perfect combo
of every TV wife/mom?
160
00:07:13,410 --> 00:07:15,580
twenty percent doting hot mom
from Modern Family,
161
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,750
fifteen percent fast‐talking
Gilmore Girls mom
162
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:20,290
and ten percent Marge Simpson
because she's got blue hair.
163
00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:22,380
‐ Is that too many percents?
‐ No, it's, it's under actually.
164
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:25,880
The rest is just filler code, except for
a pinch of Sophia from Golden Girls.
165
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,390
That was one sassy old lady, you know?
I couldn't resist.
166
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,920
‐ Twenty‐five, 83...
167
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,500
‐ Are you using
your abaca‐dactals like a baby?
168
00:07:32,510 --> 00:07:35,230
What, what are you, 80?
‐ Ah, now I have to start over.
169
00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:40,890
It stands for Patricia Automated
Television Retro‐fitted
170
00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:42,720
Intelligent Companion In Action.
171
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,400
‐ You know what, it's okay
if you made that up to fit.
172
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,990
You chose a name with two I's and two A's.
That's already hard.
173
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,410
[whirring]
174
00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:54,830
PATRICIA:
[gasps] Korvo, Terry.
175
00:07:54,820 --> 00:07:57,280
Pupa! I hope you don't plan
to spend all day
176
00:07:57,290 --> 00:08:00,540
in your awful, disgusting "manc ave."
We have chores to do.
177
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,630
‐ Why are didgeridoos so expensive?
‐ What, what?
178
00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:06,210
‐ Five thousand dollars. It's a tube!
Still buying it.
179
00:08:06,210 --> 00:08:09,330
Did you guys make a woman robot?
‐ Oh, yeah, awesome, right?
180
00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:11,050
Yeah, we built her to hate the "manc ave."
181
00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:13,010
I mean, look at how awesome she is.
Look at her, look at her go.
182
00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:14,310
She's hatin' it perfect.
‐ No, no, no.
183
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,010
You guys are wading into
a whole gender thing.
184
00:08:16,010 --> 00:08:18,090
I'm telling you, this can't
end well for anybody.
185
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,230
I'm outta here.
G'day.
186
00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:21,470
‐ This isn't a gender thing‐‐
‐ I said g'day!
187
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,530
‐ No matter what the problem is,
she finds a way to blame the "manc ave."
188
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,270
Just, just like a real wife.
PATRICIA: I fucking hate this "manc ave."
189
00:08:27,270 --> 00:08:29,440
‐ Oh, she makes me
wanna go in there so bad!
190
00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:31,900
Ah, yeah!
KORVO: Oh, ho, ho, it worked!
191
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,490
[Pupa burps]
192
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,910
‐ Hi, guys. I, a girl, would like to be
on your men's lacrosse team.
193
00:08:38,910 --> 00:08:41,290
I also know nothing about lacrosse.
194
00:08:41,290 --> 00:08:43,670
‐ Ha ha, did you hear that?
‐ Oh, I heard it, Chad.
195
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:45,460
But I don't believe it.
Say it again, girl.
196
00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:51,120
I demand to be on your boys' team.
What's the problem?
197
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:53,970
Can't stand a girl trying to step on
your "boys only" field?
198
00:08:53,970 --> 00:08:56,680
‐ No, we've been asking for a girl
to join our team for years.
199
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,890
Oh, the football guys will finally
stop mocking us.
200
00:08:58,890 --> 00:09:01,060
‐ No, come on,
I need this to be a struggle.
201
00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:02,810
‐ Chads, we got a girl on the team!
202
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,150
[cheering]
203
00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:06,770
‐ Hey, stop.
[groaning]
204
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:12,150
Attention, esports team.
I know that gamers are misogynistic,
205
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:16,070
and that's why all female bodies
in games have unrealistic proportions
206
00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:19,570
and are programmed to give the gamer
an unhealthy amount of eye contact.
207
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,830
Let me in.
‐ Yeah, another girl!
208
00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:24,170
‐ Wait, am I the only guy in here?
Oh, no.
209
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,660
I've been using some very coded language.
210
00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:27,500
[bell rings]
211
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,470
‐ Australian music is so good.
It's like a whole genre.
212
00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:34,130
‐ You're looking at this town's
first female firefighter.
213
00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:36,800
I found my glass ceiling
and fucking shattered it,
214
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,260
and saved most of a family.
215
00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:41,010
‐ Well, I'm the first woman
to mansplain jazz.
216
00:09:41,010 --> 00:09:43,260
It's, like, all about syncopation.
217
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,940
‐ That's great and all,
but I saved most of a family.
218
00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:50,770
‐ Because it sounds better than
just the two dogs.
219
00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:52,440
‐ Oh, Yumyulack, come here.
220
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,690
If I can't find a glass ceiling
to break soon,
221
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,410
they're all gonna get broken without me,
and then I'm gonna fail,
222
00:09:58,410 --> 00:10:00,700
and then they're gonna put me
in the dumb kid's class in room B.
223
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,040
‐ Room B is awesome.
We get to do art all day.
224
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,290
And stop telling me things.
225
00:10:04,290 --> 00:10:06,380
I already said
I wasn't touching gender stuff.
226
00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:07,700
‐ I'm just out of ideas.
227
00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:09,420
‐ You know what I do
when I'm out of ideas?
228
00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:12,470
Cocaine. And then I get like,
a million ideas at once.
229
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:13,960
[grunts]
230
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,880
Ooh, ooh, I got it.
Pants that fly but are also dogs.
231
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:17,710
‐ Hm.
232
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,180
Well, I do love cocaine,
but isn't it illegal?
233
00:10:21,180 --> 00:10:23,810
‐ Everything cool is illegal!
Besides, cocaine is okay for us to eat
234
00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:25,520
because our alien bodies
process it differently.
235
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:26,810
It's just like sugar.
I make it myself.
236
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,110
And then I'll break it.
‐ Hey, come on.
237
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:33,530
I didn't help with that epiphany.
238
00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:35,410
I'm just eating cocaine
like we usually do.
239
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,560
Leave me out of it.
‐ Thanks for your help, Yumyulack!
240
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:40,160
‐ Stop it!
I'm gonna go fight my shadow!
241
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,590
‐ Ah, PATRICIA, I bet you hate
how we sit in the "manc ave" all day
242
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,830
while you're up here not enjoying
the "manc ave."
243
00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:53,760
PATRICIA:
What's with all the dirty dishes, Korvo?
244
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,370
‐ I left them here for you to clean.
245
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:57,430
PATRICIA: You see this here?
It's called a dishwasher.
246
00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:00,630
And this is how you turn it on.
[gasps] Ooh!
247
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,430
Now that's at least one thing
you can finally learn to turn on.
248
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,350
Not that it matters since
you're an alien who has no dick.
249
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,940
I guess my mom was right.
What am I supposed to do with that?
250
00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:09,650
No dick!
251
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,220
[laugh track plays]
252
00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:13,150
‐ No one's ever spoken to me like that.
253
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,320
This angry wife subroutine
must be a side effect
254
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,280
of your anti‐"manc ave" programming.
255
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,030
PATRICIA: Or maybe I'm just tired
of being married to an idiot
256
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:22,450
who leaves his dirty socks
in the living room.
[audience groans playing]
257
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:24,790
‐ This must be a byproduct
from all the TV mom data
258
00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:27,660
I fed into your personality.
You're a perfect organism.
259
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:31,030
PATRICIA: Byproduct? You don't make
enough money to buy me any products.
260
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,420
And the only time I can organism
is when I'm watching Outlander.
261
00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:36,680
‐ You're making me feel smaller
and less of a man.
262
00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:38,460
I love it.
Quick, do it again.
263
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:41,340
PATRICIA: Quick is the only way
you know how to do anything.
264
00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:42,420
[laugh track plays]
265
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:44,970
‐ [coos]
266
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:48,220
‐ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, PATRICIA.
I foosed my shoulder.
267
00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:52,400
PATRICIA: Aw, honey, let me
take care of that for you.
268
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,780
One, two‐‐
269
00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:55,850
‐ [yells]
270
00:11:56,980 --> 00:11:57,980
Owie.
271
00:11:57,980 --> 00:12:00,360
PATRICIA: Does that feel better?
‐ A little.
272
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,030
PATRICIA: You were a really
brave little man just then.
273
00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:04,900
I'm so proud of you.
Here.
274
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:09,710
That was a special kiss from Mommy.
Does that feel better?
275
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:12,780
‐ I need another one.
PATRICIA: There you go, sweetie.
276
00:12:12,790 --> 00:12:15,130
‐ I tell you what, this mommy
must be a residual byproduct
277
00:12:15,130 --> 00:12:16,550
of me being so brave, huh?
278
00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:20,500
PATRICIA: I'm baking cookies in here.
Does baby wanna lick my spoon?
279
00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:22,050
‐ [moaning]
280
00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:25,210
Oh, my God, what is this feeling
I'm feeling?
281
00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:26,770
Oh, I never want it to end.
282
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,800
[audience awws]
283
00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:30,140
[bell rings]
284
00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:33,690
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
285
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:35,820
♪
286
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,990
‐ Where have you been?
‐ Oh, oh, uh,
287
00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:43,160
just making this delicious sundae.
288
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:44,320
‐ By yourself?
‐ Uh‐huh.
289
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,650
‐ Terry, you're lying.
You don't know how to peel a banana.
290
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,290
I always have to do it for you.
‐ Wait.
291
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,740
Why are your shoulders slouched
292
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,530
and why do you look like you have
a lower sense of confidence?
293
00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:54,460
‐ I was judging myself in the mirror.
I'm‐I'm very shameful.
294
00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,630
‐ You don't know how to self‐scrutinize.
295
00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:57,630
‐ I've been hanging out with PATRICIA.
She makes me feel something
296
00:12:57,630 --> 00:12:59,010
I've never felt before.
‐ Me, too.
297
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,040
‐ Emasculated.
‐ Nurtured.
298
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:01,550
‐ I love the way she can just
cut right through me
299
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:04,680
with a real tightly wound zinger.
I've never been so wonderfully beta.
300
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,470
‐ Oh, she wipes my mouth with a wet wipe
and treats me like a baby.
301
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:10,270
It's so comfortable and nurturing.
I never had a mom, Korvo.
302
00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:12,480
I never got baths.
‐ Terry, I know we specifically
303
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,190
created her to hate the "manc ave,"
but hear me out on this.
304
00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:17,230
What if we altered the rules
of the "manc ave"
305
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:20,450
so we could invite PATRICIA
to hang out with us in the "manc ave"?
306
00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:23,490
Oh, that's perfect.
Let's, let's change the rules.
307
00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:25,080
‐ We're gonna change the rules.
Oh!
308
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,150
PATRICIA:
But, but I hate this place.
309
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,250
‐ I know, I know, but it's okay.
Look, huh, see?
310
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,110
It's okay for you to be here.
Isn't it fun?
311
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,920
FISH: No, it's not.
Get out while you can. Run.
312
00:13:34,910 --> 00:13:37,410
‐ Ignore that fish, it's joking.
It's not serious.
313
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:38,800
It's just having a jab.
314
00:13:40,380 --> 00:13:42,890
PATRICIA, I demand you overwrite
your hate of the "manc ave."
315
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,920
PATRICIA:
Override, ov‐er‐ride...
316
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:48,060
funny, you never ride me over.
317
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:52,970
[stammering]
318
00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:54,340
[alarm blaring]
319
00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:56,730
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
320
00:13:56,730 --> 00:13:59,690
♪
321
00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:02,950
Must destroy manc ave!
322
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,080
‐ You gave her rocket launchers?
323
00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:08,610
‐ It's harder to build a robot
without them, Terry.
324
00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:09,410
They're load‐bearing.
325
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,030
‐ [grunts]
Uh‐oh.
326
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,590
Oh, dig old bicks.
I get it now.
327
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:22,800
‐ You do? What, what does it mean?
‐ I don't know.
328
00:14:24,590 --> 00:14:26,430
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
329
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:28,500
♪
330
00:14:32,850 --> 00:14:36,270
♪ I got the eye of the tiger ♪
331
00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:40,270
♪ I am dancing through the fire ♪
332
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,890
♪ I am the champion ♪
333
00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:47,070
♪ And you're gonna hear me roar ♪
334
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,040
♪ Louder, louder than a lion ♪
335
00:14:51,030 --> 00:14:53,820
♪ 'Cause I am the champion ♪
336
00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:57,040
‐ [flatly] Oh, no, please, stop.
Second door on the left.
337
00:14:59,670 --> 00:15:01,130
‐ Oh, no.
338
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:06,120
‐ Excuse me, pardon me.
Female feminist hero comin' through.
339
00:15:06,130 --> 00:15:08,760
Move aside, men.
I, a woman,
340
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,220
have arrived to topple the glass ceiling
341
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:13,480
and shatter the fuck
out of the patriarchy.
342
00:15:13,470 --> 00:15:15,930
‐ Yeah, we're looking for Jesse,
the guy who set up this club.
343
00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:19,430
‐ Well, I've got news for you.
Jesse isn't a boy.
344
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,780
He's a girl, and it's me.
345
00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:23,430
‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is your club?
346
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,320
‐ Yep, sorry, but this isn't
a boy club after all.
347
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,070
‐ We don't wanna join.
We're here in protest
348
00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,580
to speak up for all the women
who are too weak
349
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:30,520
to speak for themselves.
350
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,330
‐ But I made this club to‐‐
‐ Do you have any idea
351
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,150
how messed up it is to
discriminate against people
352
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,750
based on their gender?
‐ Uh, yeah.
353
00:15:35,740 --> 00:15:37,740
I was just about to say that
when you interrupted‐‐
354
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,250
‐ As the brother of two sisters,
nothing enrages me more
355
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,630
than misogyny, and this is misogyny.
356
00:15:42,630 --> 00:15:43,960
‐ Uh‐huh, it's not.
‐ Yes, it is.
357
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,420
You need to shut this club down
right now.
358
00:15:45,420 --> 00:15:48,430
‐ No, not before I topple it.
I need it for my grade.
359
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:50,840
‐ If she's not gonna do it,
we have to tear it down ourselves.
360
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,000
‐ Please, stop.
‐ Let's get her
361
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:54,770
before she creates an unsafe environment
for all women.
362
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,340
‐ Oh, no, no, no.
‐ She's running.
363
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:59,230
That means she's guilty.
‐ Angry mob, bros.
364
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,180
‐ [sobs]
365
00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:07,190
‐ She's ruining the only thing
I actually liked about humans.
366
00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:08,900
We need to stop her.
TERRY: Okay, I say we just
367
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,860
grab her and make her
tuck us into bed and read us stories.
368
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:12,870
‐ We can't just grab her, Terry.
She'll slice us in half
369
00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:15,110
with her laser blades.
‐ And whose fault is that?
370
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,540
Huh?
KORVO: I don't know what to do.
371
00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:19,280
Wait, if she hates the "manc aves,"
we need to lure her
372
00:16:19,290 --> 00:16:21,630
to the biggest, stupidest
"manc ave" we can find.
373
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:23,620
‐ I know just the place.
374
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:27,330
[men screaming]
375
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:29,680
♪ sports arena music playing ♪
376
00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:30,920
‐ Oh!
377
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,670
♪
378
00:16:41,390 --> 00:16:42,680
‐ Oh, crap, here she comes.
379
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:44,820
Get inside.
380
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,540
[people screaming]
381
00:16:57,530 --> 00:16:59,530
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
382
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,330
[lasers firing]
383
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,840
‐ The activation ring.
We have to get it off her finger.
384
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:22,270
Aim for the ring.
‐ How many tickets
385
00:17:22,270 --> 00:17:24,060
for all your sticky hands?
‐ I don't know.
386
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,610
Like, a million.
Hey!
387
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,810
Those come out of the tickets
they pay me with.
388
00:17:30,070 --> 00:17:30,950
‐ Now!
389
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:32,940
♪
390
00:17:44,710 --> 00:17:46,210
[lasers firing]
391
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,790
‐ Ms. Perez, Ms. Perez!
‐ Jesse, what are you doing here?
392
00:17:49,790 --> 00:17:51,460
‐ School stuff.
You wouldn't understand!
393
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:52,330
‐ Get down!
394
00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:56,010
‐ Ms. Perez, I tried to make
a glass ceiling to break,
395
00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:58,770
but a bunch of male allies got mad.
You gotta help me.
396
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,260
‐ What the fuck are you talking about?
397
00:18:00,260 --> 00:18:02,340
‐ I couldn't move us women
forward, Ms. Perez.
398
00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:03,230
Please don't give me an F.
399
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:04,640
‐ I didn't even realize you were a girl.
400
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,930
I thought you were gonna draw
Count Dooku's lightsaber.
401
00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:08,570
‐ What?
But I have a bow.
402
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,230
‐ I don't know,
you're green and your mouth
403
00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:12,730
extends past the boundaries of your face.
How would I know?
404
00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:15,110
If you really wanna topple
the patriarchy and get an A,
405
00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:17,190
this is your chance.
‐ You're right, Ms. Perez.
406
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,950
Every feminist hero had
their robot to conquer.
407
00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:22,250
♪ heroic music playing ♪
408
00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:32,050
PATRICA: Time for you two
naughty/disappointing boy men
409
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:33,340
to learn a lesson.
410
00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:36,970
‐ PATRICIA, stop.
411
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,470
PATRICA: Gender not found.
412
00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,890
‐ That's because I'm an alien plant.
413
00:18:41,890 --> 00:18:44,520
It took me all this time to realize
that's okay.
414
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,980
I can do whatever I want.
So can you.
415
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:51,070
PATRICIA: But I'm a mom, I'm a wife,
I'm a mom, I'm a‐‐
416
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:53,640
‐ No way, Jose.
You're a killer robot.
417
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:56,490
And if that's what makes you happy,
then lean into it.
418
00:18:56,490 --> 00:19:00,120
PATRICIA: I don't have to kill men.
I could be killing anyone I want.
419
00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:02,900
No matter what gender.
I could kill everyone!
420
00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:04,330
‐ Ha, not today.
421
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:10,170
PATRICIA: No, I was about to kill
all humans in the world...
422
00:19:11,130 --> 00:19:13,510
‐ Patricia, I'm sorry.
But I have to turn you off.
423
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:17,710
PATRICIA: You turn me off every day
when you take off your shirt.
424
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,600
‐ What's wrong, Korvo?
Why‐why'd you stop?
425
00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:22,590
‐ I can't deactivate her, Terry.
I didn't realize I had a hole in my heart.
426
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,980
A hole that needed to be demeaned
with a non‐stop barrage
427
00:19:24,970 --> 00:19:26,890
of insults and sexual criticism.
428
00:19:26,890 --> 00:19:29,100
We can't kill her,
but we can't live with her.
429
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,390
‐ So what do we do?
430
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,440
‐ We started this thinking
we needed a "manc ave"
431
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,360
to fill a gaping hole inside of us.
432
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,160
But what we truly needed was to know
433
00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,650
that we have
different types of gaping holes
434
00:19:39,650 --> 00:19:41,650
that need other ways to be filled.
435
00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:44,040
‐ You taught us that we don't have to
hide in an "ave," Mom.
436
00:19:44,030 --> 00:19:45,280
Thank you.
‐ We can't kill you
437
00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:47,370
and we can't have you going around
and setting stuff on fire.
438
00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:49,630
So from now on,
you'll live in this shipping container.
439
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:51,330
‐ Do we really have to get rid of her?
440
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:54,120
Maybe we can keep her around
like a feminist icon.
441
00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:56,720
PATRICIA: Your dress is too short.
Boys will think you're a slut.
442
00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:58,420
‐ You're not my real mom!
Shut up!
443
00:19:58,420 --> 00:20:00,460
‐ Patricia, it's time
to get in the container.
444
00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:03,520
Don't worry, you won't be bored.
I made you a cuck‐bot for company.
445
00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:06,630
CUCK: Does anyone want to go
to the Gap and make some returns?
446
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,650
‐ I didn't try to make him
look like Ted Cruz.
447
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,140
It just happens with these things.
448
00:20:10,140 --> 00:20:11,720
CUCK: Hello.
PATRICIA: You're wearing that?
449
00:20:11,730 --> 00:20:14,860
I thought I threw that out.
Why are you making that face?
450
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,990
CUCK: I'm not making a face.
PATRICIA: God, you're annoying.
451
00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:19,650
Could you be more nasal?
A real man wouldn't let an alien
452
00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:21,940
bury him in a shipping container.
453
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:23,740
‐ It's nice to know
that any time we miss her,
454
00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:26,910
we can come outside and we know
that she's just a few feet down there
455
00:20:26,910 --> 00:20:28,170
just ripping into him, you know?
456
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,530
On how he brushes his teeth, and how
he doesn't arch his back properly.
457
00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:33,800
The way he stands all crooked
and how he's all weasley
458
00:20:33,790 --> 00:20:36,540
and thin and not muscly or anything.
459
00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:39,250
‐ Yeah.
‐ Wow, I just had the craziest week.
460
00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:41,760
‐ Oh, yeah, you weren't around.
What were you doing this whole time?
461
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,100
‐ I accidentally let hundreds of koalas
out of the zoo
462
00:20:44,090 --> 00:20:46,630
and then spent a ton of time
rounding them all up.
463
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,650
‐ The zoo has the capacity to house
hundreds of koalas?
464
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,760
‐ Yeah, they were running all over town.
I had to coax them with didgeridoos.
465
00:20:53,770 --> 00:20:57,360
It was on the news.
Like, you‐you didn't see any of that?
466
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,400
[grunting]
467
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,450
Okay, get in, get in here, get in.
468
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,230
Hey, so how did your gender‐based
stories turn out?
469
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,790
‐ Uh, good, yeah.
I mean, I think we covered every angle
470
00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:06,030
and pretty much solved it, so.
471
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:09,280
‐ Yeah, I think everyone
will be very happy with what we did.
472
00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:11,290
‐ Well, I'm glad we survived,
because I don't think
473
00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:13,790
there's a more controversial topic
we could have dealt with.
474
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:15,840
‐ Okay, class.
Next assignment,
475
00:21:15,830 --> 00:21:19,540
everyone here has to find a racist
and teach them the error of their ways.
476
00:21:19,550 --> 00:21:20,680
‐ Yay!
477
00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:22,670
♪
478
00:22:05,010 --> 00:22:06,510
[imitating laser fire]
39992
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