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1
00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:14,764
God dammit.
They're not coming. Again.
2
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,184
Computer, turn off
the mariachi simulación.
3
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:22,021
I should hope that you're all going out
to get more Miller L‐I‐I‐lights
4
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,565
for Tuesday Taco Night Thing.
5
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:26,192
Oh wait, that was tonight?
Aw, I could've sworn that was on Monday.
6
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:29,112
It's always on Tuesdays,
and you've missed the last tres.
7
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,114
We know you're just trying to trick us
into hanging out with you.
8
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,616
No! I'm trying to trick you
into learning about ship repair.
9
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,660
How many times do we have
to ghost on you
10
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,871
before you stop with the taco thing?
11
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:39,038
- Oh, you're coming.
- Nuh‐uh.
12
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,291
Oh, you're gonna come so hard
you're gonna beg me to stop.
13
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,084
Yeah, you wish.
14
00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:43,710
We're going to Conner Miller's
birthday party.
15
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:46,379
His mom is rich,
and his dad's trying to be a novelist,
16
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,672
so I bet they get in a big fight.
17
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:48,757
There's gonna be a magician.
18
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:52,385
It'll be my first autograph in my awesome
Magician Autograph Journal!
19
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,386
Magic is stupid.
20
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,972
Maybe I'll tag along just so I can explain
how he's doing his tricks.
21
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,141
Please don't come.
You know, I don't think you'd like it.
22
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,726
It has nothing to do
with chores or yelling.
23
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:03,062
Um, Korvo, you don't really do well
in a social setting.
24
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,272
It's kinda like your thing.
25
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,316
Hm, your reverse psychology
has worked, Terry.
26
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,985
Nothing will stop me from joining you
at this child's birthday party.
27
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,154
- Ahh!
- Yay, Korvo!
28
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,454
What a waste of paper.
29
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,956
The only good ceremony
involving children is the Jewish one
30
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,208
where they cut off the penis.
31
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,001
Am I right?
32
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,085
Slow down!
33
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,756
Just a slow‐down ray. No big deal.
34
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:34,344
Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic.
35
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,137
On the nose much?
36
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,473
Magic! Magic!
37
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,517
Rabbit was hidden
under the table. Dumb.
38
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,685
Fake thumb.
39
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,521
Foam ball in the armpit.
40
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,064
Mouth full of flags.
41
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,108
This is so stupid, anyone could do this.
42
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,109
I could do this.
43
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,655
I could do this.
44
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,783
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
45
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,952
Until the asteroid hit.
46
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,205
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
47
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,249
and escaped into, uh, the space,
48
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,919
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
49
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,338
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
50
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,090
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
51
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:13,842
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
52
00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:16,261
This is... this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
53
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,637
This is ridiculous.
54
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,639
I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
55
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,640
People are stupid.
56
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,183
They're always talking
about how they love their family,
57
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,102
but they're never making
their family gigantic.
58
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,353
They're all normal sized.
59
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,480
If you like something, you should be
trying to make it gigantic.
60
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,430
*SOLAR OPPOSITES*
61
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,837
Season 01 Episode 03
Episode Title: "The Quantum Ring"
62
00:02:35,509 --> 00:02:37,823
All right, be sure to share.
63
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:41,453
Make sure the lower levels get Reese's
and don't hog the Skittles.
64
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:42,745
Yumyulack, I'm heading out.
65
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,122
I like to get to school early
66
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,332
so I can watch the teachers
drink in the parking lot.
67
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,251
Oh hold on. I just want
to put my latest victim,
68
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,294
I mean specimen, in there too.
69
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:50,879
Wait, I know her.
70
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:53,339
Is that the lady who puts
her dog's poop in the mailbox?
71
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,507
Ugh, I wish.
72
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,010
It's just the waitress from the Benihana
over by the strip club.
73
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,053
Why is she going in the wall?
I thought she was a nice one.
74
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,638
I said I didn't want shrimp!
75
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,224
If I was allergic, I could have died!
Is that what you want?
76
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,561
Of course not. I wish everything
lived forever. You know that.
77
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,775
Oh my god.
78
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,067
Where the fuck am I?
79
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,945
Welcome, citizen.
80
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,362
Hey, hey,
81
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,989
get away from me...
Ahh!
82
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,991
Whatever you got
in your pockets is ours!
83
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,785
Wallet, gum, key metal...
84
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,871
She's got Tums! Ow!
85
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,915
We could do this the easy way
86
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,291
or the toothpick way.
87
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,085
Your choice.
This isn't over.
88
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:33,005
Everyone runs out
of fancy toothpicks at some point.
89
00:03:35,546 --> 00:03:37,204
Come with me if you want to live.
90
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,511
That's from Predator.
It's from the Terminator.
91
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,888
Oh, crap, really? 'Cause I've been
saying that for weeks.
92
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,057
Are you sure?
I've seen that movie a hundred times.
93
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,310
We should go. Ugh, I'm such an idiot.
94
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:49,145
What's up, Korvo?
Do you want to resume, um,
95
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,607
correcting any inaccuracies
in the cross‐galactic navigation matrix?
96
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:53,983
No, I don't have time to relax.
97
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,319
Today we need to find out
how I can be a magician.
98
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,654
Isn't magic... lame?
99
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,199
If magic is lame, then why do you have
a quarter in your hologram?
100
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,827
What? Get the fuck out of here. Wow.
101
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:07,330
Exactly. Okay, I need to be the
best magician I can as fast as possible.
102
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,541
Is this some sort of emotional arc?
103
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,735
A magician never reveals
his motivations.
104
00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:12,586
Let's get started.
105
00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,254
Calculating wonder.
106
00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:17,590
Done. I'll teach in the form
of Earth's greatest illusionists.
107
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,802
Houdini, Copperfield, and Mystery,
108
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,346
the pickup artist from The Game.
109
00:04:22,961 --> 00:04:25,557
I can escape anything and neg anyone.
110
00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:26,599
You're not as hot as your friend.
111
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,017
Which part is Copperfield?
112
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,311
The other
two personalities ate him.
113
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,313
Can I please just get
a regular tutorial?
114
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,065
Fine. Processing.
115
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,859
It seems like you
should combine simple tricks
116
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:36,943
with what you're already great at.
117
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,153
- Cooking salmon?
- Ugh.
118
00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:41,406
Computer, lower impatience expression
by 25 percent.
119
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,908
You should incorporate
advanced technology into your act.
120
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,869
Combine alien technology
with sleight of hand,
121
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,745
a show like that
would blow people's minds!
122
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,123
Especially if we served salmon
at intermission.
123
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,501
The Duke says you're late
on our Skittle tax.
124
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,629
All I could find was a Junior Mint.
125
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,256
- Keep walking, don't get involved.
- What the hell is this place?
126
00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,468
This whole world is a prison
created by alien kids.
127
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:04,137
It's made up of a system
of connected terrariums.
128
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,764
Those guys are enforcers.
129
00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:09,058
They're part of a martial police
formed by the ruler of the wall.
130
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,643
I'm guessing that's The Duke?
131
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,853
It's pretty complicated.
132
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,980
Is he like The Duke of New York
from Escape from New York?
133
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,815
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah,
it's exactly like that.
134
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,318
Oh, I forgot about that movie.
Yeah. It's exactly the same.
135
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:21,237
Jesse, the girl alien,
gives us candy and little gifts.
136
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,198
And then The Duke hoards
and distributes that,
137
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,200
and that's just, you know,
that's how he keeps control.
138
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:26,367
Yeah, you got it.
139
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:27,869
Why is this rope so minty?
140
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,704
Because it's floss.
We use what we have!
141
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,082
My pants are from a Polly Pocket.
142
00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:34,891
Go ahead, pick a card.
143
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,274
I will now turn these cards
into 56 different extinct animals.
144
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,468
I believe this... is your card.
145
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,388
Korvo, that was amazing!
146
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,349
When did you become a magician?
147
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,643
I've been secretly learning
so you guys would love me!
148
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:52,478
Well, it worked!
149
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:54,979
We should go out for pizza
and talk about how great you are.
150
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,481
Hm, no.
151
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,608
You know, I thought I learned magic
to get your attention,
152
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,110
but that's just not enough anymore.
153
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,153
You're all too provincial
and lame for me now.
154
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,364
You're intoxicated with fame
off one performance?
155
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:05,324
Yes.
156
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,867
But we're not like even, like,
a little provincial.
157
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,327
Where's he getting this bullshit?
158
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,787
Now that I'm better than you,
I'm going to become
159
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,622
the greatest magician of all time,
160
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,999
and you will collectively be portrayed
as the first wife
161
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,751
who didn't believe in me in my biopic.
162
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,002
I always stop the movie at that point,
163
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,629
so I assume it goes great
for the protagonist
164
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,381
after he cuts ties
with his friends and family.
165
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:23,592
Enjoy being left behind!
166
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,886
This is just like the time
when I married Ansel Elgort.
167
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,805
The little scamp.
He's lucky he got away.
168
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,975
I loved him so much.
Ugh, why can't I call him?
169
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,103
I got you a meeting
with the biggest magician talent scout
170
00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,187
in the world.
171
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:39,732
Ha! She lives in a one‐bedroom apartment
above the Wendy's by the train tracks.
172
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,903
I'm not ready, I‐I don't have
a wand o‐or an assistant...
173
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,905
I really only needed one of each.
174
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,366
How about your next trick
is not complaining for once?
175
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,577
Fuck you, computer.
Words can hurt.
176
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,289
This is the marketplace.
177
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,374
If there's something you need,
you can barter for it here.
178
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,375
What do people trade with?
179
00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:00,170
Well, mostly whatever they had
in their pockets when they got shrunk.
180
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,672
If you had cargo shorts on,
you're basically rich.
181
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,468
Suburban dads and lesbian dog walkers
live like kings in here.
182
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,094
You know, your hair is pretty valuable.
183
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,472
We could probably trade
those bangs in for some Mikes,
184
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,766
maybe even an Ike if they're in season.
185
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:16,619
Enrique? Don't eat that.
186
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,187
You know it gives you the sugar shakes.
187
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:18,876
Sugar shakes?
188
00:07:18,961 --> 00:07:20,813
Yeah, we don't know
the word for diabetes.
189
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,107
It's diabetes.
190
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,235
Oh yeah. S... I'm sorry.
I'm losing my mind.
191
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,904
I haven't had a vegetable in months.
192
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:27,530
Dad, come on, just a sip.
193
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,574
Did you find any insulin?
Down at the drop zone?
194
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:32,243
Sorry, man. Everyone who came in
only had breath mints and Chapsticks.
195
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,329
Damn. We've got Chapsticks for days!
196
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:36,247
Look, we're gonna make it work.
I promise.
197
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,416
Your dad is gonna be okay.
198
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,710
If this man is diabetic,
why does he keep eating chocolate?
199
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,587
Well, the only food
they give us is candy.
200
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,131
Sometimes they'll drop in
an apple or a cocktail onion,
201
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,174
but it's very rare.
202
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:48,593
We have to figure out how to barter
for insulin from The Duke.
203
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,095
He can get anything in here.
204
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,763
Man, he is really going to town.
205
00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:54,891
Dad, stop! You're not even hungry!
206
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,310
If you thought I was any old magician,
207
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,229
I hate to burst your balloon.
208
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:04,943
End of trick.
209
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,832
The real magic was in you the whole time.
210
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:19,916
Now, now clap.
211
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,461
- Pass.
- What? W‐why?
212
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,131
You're less "abra cadabra"
and more "average cadaver."
213
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:27,799
You got no personality, kid.
214
00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:31,136
I‐I‐I could try to build a device
that steals other people's charisma
215
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,138
and then inject it into my body
like chemotherapy.
216
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:35,807
You're a sad blue creep with no hair.
217
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,183
It's not gonna happen.
218
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,394
You're a sad blue creep!
219
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,062
What are you, crying?
220
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,940
I‐I'm not crying, you're crying!
221
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,281
Well, this is creepy.
222
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,950
Yeah, this level is run
by the Bowinian church.
223
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,077
It's the religion that worships Jesse,
224
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,371
the girl alien who gives us
food and medicine.
225
00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,497
She's the one with the bow...
226
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,250
yeah, oh, hey now, that's why
they call it the "Bowinian Church."
227
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,085
Okay, I just got that.
228
00:09:03,169 --> 00:09:04,836
There's already a whole religion?
229
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,629
How long have you people been in here?
230
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,299
Time moves differently in the wall.
It changes a man.
231
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,301
Wait, the aliens can control time?
232
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,844
No, no. It's more like a metaphor.
233
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,763
Just, look, we eat a lot of candy,
234
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:15,972
and that makes everything weird.
235
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,349
Plus, there's no calendar or clocks.
236
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,560
Think of it like Vegas.
Okay, could you just go with it?
237
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,145
Okay, geez. It tracks.
238
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,814
I'm afraid we have nothing to spare.
239
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,651
Our insulin is derived from the mold
we grow on old Twizzlers.
240
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,153
We only have enough for the flock.
241
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,113
That's bullshit!
242
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:33,990
You're afraid The Duke will be pissed
if he thinks you're competing with him!
243
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,074
We should just take it.
244
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,327
I'll pray for your father.
245
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,912
I knew they wouldn't help us.
246
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,789
Religion's such bullshit.
Wait!
247
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:41,998
Take this.
What is it?
248
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,249
It's a Slim Jim.
249
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:46,252
It's barely two snaps long,
but it's gotta be worth something.
250
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,254
Use it to trade for what you seek.
251
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:51,299
Oh, I‐I shouldn't be here.
May the bow be with you.
252
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,301
Protein is like gold in here.
253
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:54,969
But is this enough for The Duke?
254
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,472
No, but I know
what we can trade it for.
255
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,601
Tricks aren't enough,
I have to be likable?
256
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:02,561
That's impossible!
257
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,312
I wish I'd never learned magic!
258
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:08,525
Ta‐dah!
Yo! Check it out: trash magic!
259
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,735
And the bouquet that turns into doves!
260
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,612
That then turn into pterodactyls!
261
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:15,323
Ta‐dah!
Ta‐dah!
262
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:16,449
Ta‐dah!
263
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,536
I‐I usually only post
breastfeeding reaction videos,
264
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,037
but this is sick.
265
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,206
Ta‐dah!
266
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,667
Ta‐dah!
Ta‐dah!
267
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:26,877
Ta‐dah!
268
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,254
Ta‐dah!
Ta‐dah!
269
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:31,089
Ta‐dah! Ta‐dah!
270
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,424
Ta‐dah!
271
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,181
Okay, this is so amazing,
I can't believe it.
272
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:43,017
Our next guest is,
he's so great, he's so great,
273
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:46,855
please welcome "The Incredible
Burn Victim Trash Man!"
274
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,027
I wanted to be on Kimmel.
275
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,662
Tomorrow night,
the Vegas Vegas Casino is proud
276
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:07,208
to present The Incredible
Burn Victim Trash Man!
277
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:11,379
Featuring the most dangerous trick
anyone has ever attempted:
278
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:14,424
leaping through a black hole!
279
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:17,552
How will he survive
the gravimetric forces
280
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,430
as they rip his atomic structure asunder?
281
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:24,309
We're going to Vegas tomorrow
to see Korvo do tricks!
282
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:27,771
I'll finally see the city
of sin! Yay, sin!
283
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,898
I'm gonna bet it all at Circus Circus!
284
00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,399
And I'm gonna rescue a sex worker!
285
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,193
Aw, she's never gonna have sex again.
286
00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:34,736
Or he!
287
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:35,863
Greetings.
288
00:11:35,947 --> 00:11:39,616
I am world renowned magician
Wilkins Micawber.
289
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,493
I'm as famous as a magician can get,
290
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:45,580
think the third Hemsworth brother,
as are my mysterious compatriots.
291
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:49,042
We are here to parlay with
The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man.
292
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:51,169
Where hence ye?
He's practicing his act upstairs.
293
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,921
Nobody's supposed to interrupt him.
294
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:55,590
I thought I smelled the stench
of lesser magicians.
295
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:58,843
Listen, listen, listen.
You can't do this black hole trick.
296
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,261
It's too amazing!
297
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,555
If you survive, our careers die.
298
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,141
I do what I want, leave me alone!
299
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,353
I didn't get their autographs!
300
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:11,564
The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man
left us no choice.
301
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,983
Now I know murder is frowned upon
by magic law,
302
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,027
but I love weed and prostitutes.
303
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:17,529
So I need that money.
304
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:21,616
We'll make sure this is
his grand finale. Of life.
305
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,205
Oh, now I'll never get their autographs.
306
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:28,790
And they're gonna kill Korvo!
307
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,709
Pretty convenient I came out here.
308
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:34,588
What is your deal today, Pupa?
309
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:40,718
Eh, you don't toss around a Slim Jim
like this unless you mean business.
310
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,554
We need your Playboy.
We know you have it.
311
00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:44,305
Have you lost your mind?
312
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,766
It's the Girls of the Pac 10.
313
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,853
That would cost at least,
uh, 20 snaps per Pac.
314
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,646
Come on, man!
315
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,982
Hey, I'm sorry,
but I can't make the trade.
316
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:56,359
It's one of the only pieces
of reading material
317
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,444
that made it in here.
318
00:12:57,528 --> 00:12:58,862
Plus titties, you know.
319
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,198
Sorry, dude, but I need that Playboy!
320
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,199
- Pedro! What the hell?
- I got it.
321
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,034
Go!
322
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:06,161
Help! I'm being robbed!
323
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,500
Ahh!
324
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:14,837
Ahh!
325
00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,883
Benihana, bitch.
326
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:25,430
Mr. Korvo,
could you explain exactly
327
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:26,389
what we're looking at here?
328
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,349
It's a Quantum Ring,
329
00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:29,976
a black hole I built out of pieces
from my space cruiser.
330
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,061
You kind of have to know a lot
about physics to understand...
331
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,022
- Looks like a Stargate.
- What's a Stargate?
332
00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:36,232
It's what this is,
and the fourth best Kurt Russell movie.
333
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,486
Then today I will be Kurt Russell,
by diving through the black hole.
334
00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:42,489
If I hit it at just the right angle,
I should pass through unharmed.
335
00:13:42,573 --> 00:13:45,992
If I'm even a millimeter off,
I die and maybe time implodes,
336
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,160
I'm not sure about that last part.
337
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:50,664
So either it's a great show
or I no longer have to pay my alimony.
338
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:52,999
I hate that woman.
339
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,001
This is Ted Johnson,
reporting from backstage
340
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,128
at a magic show.
341
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:58,088
Yeah, definitely a Stargate.
342
00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,423
Oh, oh, oh...
343
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,967
Korvo, you're in trouble!
A‐and we came to warn you!
344
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,385
But you stopped to get t‐shirts.
345
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,387
It was in case
we got separated in the crowd!
346
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,349
Magicians are gonna kill you
before you do your big trick!
347
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,392
Oh, hm, I see what this is.
348
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,603
You got jealous and now you want
to be part of my show.
349
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,814
You all had your chance
to show me you appreciated me
350
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,857
by coming to my Tuesday Night Taco Thing,
351
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,026
but instead I had to throw
all the tacos away.
352
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,654
Remember that? From earlier?
No, that was like a million years ago.
353
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:23,780
You can't still be mad at that.
354
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,741
Security, I don't know these people.
Get them out of here!
355
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,451
They're gonna do a murder on you!
356
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,287
I don't need you! This is my arc!
357
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,789
Wow, what did you do?
358
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:35,125
I don't know, I kicked him
in that thing people have.
359
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,209
We gotta split up
and find those magic murderers.
360
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,839
And where did all those cards go?
361
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:43,049
I think you'll all be pleasantly surprised
362
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,218
during your first bowel movement tomorrow.
363
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,387
Oh.
364
00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:50,474
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
my final trick of the night!
365
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,101
I will be the first magician in history
366
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:55,812
to jump through a black hole!
367
00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,149
There they are!
368
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:11,578
Uhh...
369
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,789
Oh my god, wow, Yumyulack,
370
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,416
you just cut those guys' throats.
371
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,544
You just ended two human lives.
That's crazy.
372
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:22,130
But you were doing it to save
Korvo's life, man. So it's okay.
373
00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:23,590
Yeah, it's okay. We're good, we're good.
374
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,685
Oh god, he's dead! My Korvy!
375
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:41,775
No!
376
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,571
No!
377
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,664
Welcome to my humble abode.
378
00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,750
I'm The Duke. The ruler of shadows.
379
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,419
The main vein. The big boy.
The top puppy.
380
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,590
My guards tell me you're interested
in a swap of some kind?
381
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,635
Girls of the Pac 10!
382
00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:09,803
What can I trade you for?
383
00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:12,097
We need insulin. My dad is dying.
384
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:14,682
I'd be crazy not to take that deal.
385
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:17,143
Hey, get some sugar shots
for my friends here!
386
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,520
Thank you so much!
387
00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:21,940
Oh, I heard about the riot
you caused on level two.
388
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,650
You know, it spread to three levels?
389
00:16:23,734 --> 00:16:26,277
I lost an enforcer trying to shut it down.
390
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,196
A lot of lives lost for that stunt.
391
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,365
It's not easy keeping the peace
in a place like this.
392
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:32,992
Even if we weren't the prisoners
of two alien children,
393
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:36,079
it would be hard being this close
to each other all the time.
394
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,789
It's a daily struggle.
395
00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:39,874
Please. sir. I beg you to be generous.
396
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,042
My dad is dying.
397
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,837
Oh kid,
I'm not a monster.
398
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:45,839
Of course your dad can have his insulin.
399
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:47,466
Our job is to survive.
400
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:51,970
You didn't have to do that!
401
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,012
Get them out of here.
402
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,390
It's starting to smell like low wall.
403
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:01,062
Oh, an interview with Mark Cuban! Score!
404
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:06,526
Today, we give Korvo back
to the great all tree,
405
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:09,237
in the traditional way
as he would have wanted:
406
00:17:09,321 --> 00:17:12,491
ripped apart by noble birds.
407
00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:17,412
What can I say about Korvo?
408
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:20,790
Korvo was easily
the least popular person in the house
409
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,876
and he smelled like whole milk,
410
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,670
but we're still gonna miss him.
411
00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:27,380
I'm sorry, I‐I didn't want
to do it right here.
412
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,549
I wanted to do it later. In a bathroom.
413
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,802
Korvo was mean,
and being mean is tight.
414
00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:34,555
That was beautiful.
415
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:40,602
- You only got one bird?
- Yeah, they're hard to catch. Geez.
416
00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:46,149
♪ Playing Time Of Your Life ♪
417
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:49,194
Man, I just wish we had gone
to one of these stupid parties
418
00:17:49,278 --> 00:17:50,945
when Korvo was alive, you know.
419
00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:52,947
We could've told him
how boring this was to his face.
420
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:55,200
Yeah, even though it was clear
that he just wanted to trick us
421
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,118
into listening to boring
ship repair stuff,
422
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,661
it would have been nice
to have him around.
423
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,372
That's why, in his honor,
I have brought down his manuals,
424
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,500
and we are gonna read about the work
he did on the ship
425
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:05,085
and start doing it ourselves.
426
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,086
For Korvo.
427
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,337
I guess we have to do that now.
428
00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:08,881
Ta‐daaaa!
429
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,049
You have to stop kicking there.
430
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,301
You're alive! Oh, Korvo,
y‐you're alive! You're...
431
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:14,552
Alive like a fox!
432
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:17,597
And you all fell for it!
I Now You See Me'd you!!
433
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,891
Now You See Me? The movie?
With Jesse Eisenberg? Ugh.
434
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,309
It taught me two important things.
435
00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:24,270
One: the best part of any magic trick
is spending a ton of time and money
436
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,480
setting up an elaborate lie.
437
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:27,440
- And the other: family.
- Family?
438
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,859
It all happened
when I ditched you guys for Vegas...
439
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,695
Yeah, you know,
we were just four lonely magicians.
440
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,072
And then presto.
441
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,615
Now we're abraca‐family.
442
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:38,493
I realized I'd gone too far
and I needed you guys.
443
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:41,371
We're not just a space team,
we're also a family team.
444
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:44,165
Which is why I had to hire
those magicians to pretend to kill me!
445
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,458
They're all out‐of‐work actors.
446
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,877
Don't say that!
I love those magicians!
447
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,338
That's because in the middle
of the night, I planted false memories
448
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:51,631
of them in all of your heads!
449
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,299
Terry, we killed two of those guys.
450
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:54,717
I‐I'm sure that was just
part of the trick.
451
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,428
But wait, how did you fake your death?
452
00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,388
After I was finished
with Now You See Me 2,
453
00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,849
I read the novelization
of The Prestige.
454
00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:03,435
The Korvo you saw die was a clone.
A really good one too.
455
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:07,272
He thought he was me, and I made sure
he could feel pain and‐and all that stuff.
456
00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:10,316
And it worked! You all totally thought
I was dead and came to my party!
457
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,400
Good trick, right?
458
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,864
- Oh yeah.
- Amazing.
459
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:18,450
Korvo, that was the best trick ever!
460
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:20,494
Was anyone else doing a trick?
461
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:26,416
The Pupa was a cardboard cutout all day?
462
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,709
Who even are you?
463
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:29,377
- Ta‐da!
- Bravo, Pupa! Amazing!
464
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,755
Best day of tricks ever!
465
00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:34,090
Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!
466
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,092
Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!
467
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,094
Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!
468
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,387
All right, enough!
469
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:42,307
Now, there are 78 parts
of the lavatic reactor.
470
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:44,017
The first is the Pahoehoe funnel.
471
00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:45,518
It has 72 shunts.
472
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:49,355
Each shunt must be gently jostled
before you can proceed...
473
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:50,439
Well, this sucks.
474
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:53,860
Enrique, I'm so sorry,
I don't know how this happened.
475
00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:55,320
You saved me, Tim.
476
00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:57,655
But I don't know how I'll go on
without my boy.
477
00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,199
I‐I‐I just don't know.
478
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:01,493
Do you go to heaven if you die small?
479
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:04,037
He died small!
480
00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:08,374
It doesn't have to be this way.
481
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,502
Pedro didn't have to die.
482
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:13,296
I have to fix this place.
483
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,632
How can one person change the world?
484
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,646
By tearing it down.
485
00:20:19,731 --> 00:20:21,007
Come on! Come on,
hippo. Eat, eat!
486
00:20:21,092 --> 00:20:22,162
Come on, eat it, hippo
487
00:20:22,247 --> 00:20:23,098
Fuck you, Jesse.
488
00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:24,933
- I love this game.
- Hippos!
38188
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