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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,179 --> 00:00:10,023 Whoa, hey. Oh, what is that thing? 2 00:00:10,108 --> 00:00:11,993 Oh, don't throw that out. I can sell that on eBay. 3 00:00:12,077 --> 00:00:14,015 It has an unstable gray hole inside. 4 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,515 You're an unstable gray hole. 5 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,100 - Nice. - It's too big for the trash. 6 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,768 I'm gonna dump it behind the Burger King. 7 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,438 Don't, no, I can sell it and then buy a chocolate fountain 8 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,148 so I can stop making a mess in the microwave 9 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:24,399 and you won't have to yell at me anymore! 10 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:26,734 Look at the Pupa. I told you to stop giving the Pupa candy. 11 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,069 He can't eat candy, it gets him sick! 12 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,612 I didn't... I don't give him candy anymore. 13 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,613 Well, he's getting it from someone! 14 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,614 God, one time. 15 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,950 Oh great, now what. 16 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,370 The homeowners association is updating the rules again. 17 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,414 "Gardeners need to have marked trucks. 18 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,374 "No RV parking in the driveway. 19 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:44,961 All spaceships sticking out of houses need to be painted to match the trim." 20 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,838 Are you hearing this? Ooh, we should totally get an RV. 21 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,966 It looks fine the way it is. I don't want it to blend into the house. 22 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,261 It's my whole thing, I'm the spaceship guy! 23 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,096 Damn it! There's a gray hole, Terry! A gray hole in the house! 24 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,140 If we had an RV, that probably wouldn't even be a big deal. 25 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,224 'Cause we could just live in an RV. 26 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,268 Stupid HOA, singling us out. 27 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,854 You know, Terry, this proves that everyone in the neighborhood hates us. 28 00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:05,774 Oh, speak for yourself, man. I am extremely likable. 29 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:08,359 I mean, why do you think everybody gives me more room when I'm walking down the street? 30 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,028 - They're avoiding us! - They love us. 31 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,739 I think there's only one way to find out who's right. 32 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:13,865 Nanobots. Buy an RV. 33 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:14,949 Nan... Nanobots. 34 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,911 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia. 35 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,163 Until the asteroid hit. 36 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,416 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 37 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,291 and escaped into, uh, the space, 38 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:27,879 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 39 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,466 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 40 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,218 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 41 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,928 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 42 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,430 This is... this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 43 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,807 This is ridiculous. 44 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,767 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 45 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:41,768 People are stupid. 46 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,312 I don't understand why people have so many outfit choices 47 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,356 when you could just wear a thick, coarse robe. 48 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,691 It's the perfect garment. Boots and a robe. Easy. 49 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,541 *SOLAR OPPOSITES* 50 00:01:50,782 --> 00:01:53,126 Season 01 Episode 02 Title: "The Unstable Grey Hole" 51 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,203 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you weren't shrinking kids down anymore? 52 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,996 These are adults. 53 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,498 I got a couple litterbugs, 54 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:06,042 a lady who had 15 items in the 12‐item lane, 55 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,253 and a guy who pronounces schedule like "shed‐jewel." 56 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,588 That's not wall worthy, that's you being a jerk. 57 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,465 Relax, they love it. 58 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:15,885 Ha ha ha, look at 'em. 59 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,597 Seems like somebody needs to learn a lesson. 60 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,599 Hey, little guy! 61 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,897 That's the alarm! Lucky for you, I've been teaching myself to hack at night 62 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,607 while you've been wasting your time sleeping. 63 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,526 Alexa, turn off alarm. 64 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,694 Alarm deactivated. 65 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,238 Stupid Alexa. Always listening. 66 00:02:34,323 --> 00:02:35,512 Hold it right there! I'm armed! 67 00:02:35,597 --> 00:02:36,823 Lethal force! Zap him with the bone zapper. 68 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,158 Crap, now it's out of charge! 69 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,451 Bite down on your poison teeth! 70 00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:40,452 Terry? 71 00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:41,661 Gordon? 72 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:42,871 Wait, you‐you work here? 73 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,622 Yup, yeah, man, it's my third job. 74 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,249 I got three jobs, one, two, three. 75 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,084 Got the three banger jobs, you know. Oh, man, well, that's good news. 76 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,712 You guys just here to jump in and splash around the water pools? 77 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,214 Yeah, duh, but we also want to dump microscopic robots 78 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,300 in the town water supply so we can find out if people like us. 79 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,843 - Wait, what? - No, it's not what you think. 80 00:02:56,927 --> 00:03:00,346 Everyone will unknowingly drink water contaminated with our nanobots, 81 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,890 which will harvest all their memories, 82 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,100 and then they'll pee them out and they'll end up back here. 83 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,603 I think that sounds like a lot of fun, guys. 84 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,979 Hey, the room with the big pool of water 85 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,314 that everyone drinks from is right over here. 86 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,940 Come on. How do you, uh, know this guy? 87 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,024 He sold me a gun. 88 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:16,112 Be sure to break up the clumps or they might become sentient. 89 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,447 Hey, man, are you sure this is gonna work? 90 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,283 Well, it better, each one of these nanobot cost me 24 cents. 91 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,466 Each Mortal Kombat movie is better than the last. 92 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,300 I mean, they should reboot them. 93 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,677 Honestly, can you imagine how boffo the box office would be? 94 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,262 We forgot to check the nanobots! 95 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,414 Oww! 96 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:13,878 Yah! 97 00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:25,944 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it. 98 00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:28,860 How can you be sure you're gonna get all of those things out of there? 99 00:04:28,988 --> 00:04:31,062 I'm just kidding, I don't care. 100 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,189 I work at the water treatment plant, I'm not a cop. 101 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,318 Oh, hey, by the way, I got some heroin. You guys wanna do heroin? 102 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,531 It worked. We have pee‐data on everyone in the neighborhood! 103 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,491 I can finally reduce people to statistics! 104 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:46,744 Blood type, what their favorite song is, what percentage gay they are... 105 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,329 Ooh! This is how much people like us! 106 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,582 What the hell? Trent from around the block doesn't like 107 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,208 that I let Pupa go number two on his lawn? 108 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,376 Where the heck is he supposed to go? 109 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,921 Brooke and Diane both think I ask too many questions at the grocery store. 110 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,214 I'm from outer space! 111 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,258 It's not clear to me why you have to cook bread twice. 112 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:01,384 Mitchell thinks I'm too loud! 113 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,344 I knew it! We're unlikable, aren't we? 114 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,847 Is it the sci‐fi stuff? Do I smell bad? What is it? 115 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,557 Looks like people just generally don't like us! 116 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:08,725 One guy hates you. 117 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,310 - Who? - This, uh... some dude Tyler. 118 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:11,936 I don't even know anyone named Tyler. 119 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,521 Ugh, it feels like I'm covered in bees! 120 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,523 Fuck this Tyler guy. What did I ever do to him? 121 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,984 We‐we‐we can act different, Korvo. I mean, we can make people like us. 122 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,986 I need to repair this godforsaken ship. 123 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,405 And if people don't like us, that will make that job 124 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,073 so much harder in so many ways. 125 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,700 So to be clear: I don't need to be liked, 126 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,743 it's strictly a work necessity. 127 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,203 Well, I need to be liked! 128 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,079 Dang it, have you seen my shrink ray anywhere? 129 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,039 I'm hoping it didn't shrink. 130 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,332 How ironic would that be. 131 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,625 - I hid it. - Give it back! 132 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:35,919 I will, but first I want to prove to you 133 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,671 that humans are mostly basically good life forms. 134 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:42,008 For the last couple months, you've been putting way too many people in the wall. 135 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,384 You need to pump the brakes, mister. 136 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:46,846 All I have to do is follow you around? Fine. Easy. 137 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,682 And you have to do all my homework and laundry for a week. 138 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,811 Hmmm... let me think. Uh, laundry's not my strong suit. 139 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:55,355 Um, dang it, did you hide my gun that makes people do what I want? 140 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,065 Yeah, I hid all your guns. 141 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,692 All the blue areas are pockets where people don't like us 142 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:00,735 as much as they should. 143 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,278 And over here in this green area, 144 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,948 that marks which houses give out the biggest candy bars on Halloween. 145 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:08,201 With a little extra effort, I think we can up our likability fast. 146 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,744 Are you ready to do what it takes? 147 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,037 You mean sex stuff? 148 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,372 - It's possible. Yeah. - Then yes. 149 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,374 Then let's aggressively make people like us! 150 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,210 Shauna, the complete McNugget buddy collection. 151 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,379 Here you go. Jeremiah, here's a gold bar. 152 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:20,755 You can put it up your butt. 153 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,173 Carson, it's your son. 154 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,593 He's alive again. There you go. Have fun. 155 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,804 Courtesy of Korvo! 156 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,723 Oh my god, I can feel my legs! 157 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,225 I have legs! 158 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,352 These are kind of hard to control. 159 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,521 No, no, no, no, no, no! 160 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:38,773 No traffic, no traffic! You're all gonna be early. 161 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:39,774 Keep moving. You're welcome. 162 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:40,775 Everybody's welcome. You're getting there early! 163 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,278 You're getting there early! No traffic today. 164 00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:45,029 Terry and Korvo. All right, Terry, that's enough. 165 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,323 L‐L‐let's go. 166 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,951 No, no, no, no, no! 167 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,333 I don't wanna talk to Mr. Dutch, he's a dick. 168 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,086 He always eats lunch alone in his office. 169 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,297 Let's find out why, shall we? 170 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,465 Hey! Get outta here. 171 00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:06,009 I had an extra pudding cup today, Mr. Dutch. 172 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,552 I thought you might want it. 173 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,721 I don't want any stupid pudding. I... 174 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,223 My ex‐wife used to pack my lunch. 175 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,726 Ever since we separated, I've been doing it on my own. 176 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,662 I'm sorry if I've been kind of a dick this year. 177 00:07:16,747 --> 00:07:17,645 I've... I've been going through a lot. 178 00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:20,523 Everyone has shit to deal with, Mr. Dutch. You hang in there. 179 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:21,691 Thank you, Jesse. 180 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:25,153 You know what? Neither of you need to run the mile in next week's fitness test. 181 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,322 I'll just say you both got six minutes. 182 00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:29,491 See? We were nice to someone who was mean, 183 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:31,242 and now we don't have to run the mile. 184 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,660 That's true. That's how it panned out. 185 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:35,121 Yeah, that might work on a sad, old, lonely gym teacher, but... 186 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,582 What about those mean surfer guys at Fourth Beach? 187 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,876 Ugh, I hate them. They're always mean to me. 188 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,339 Something tells me that today might be a little different. Wink. 189 00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,549 Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Are you seeing this, Terry? 190 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,510 It's working! We're tricking people into being our friends! 191 00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:50,595 Ah, this feels so good, I feel so whole! 192 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,805 We're popular! 193 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:54,432 Solar Opposites will be right back after these set of... 194 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,434 this set of subsequent advertisements. 195 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,772 And now, back to Solar Opposites. 196 00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:04,025 Unless you spring for expensive Hulu, then there was no commercial break 197 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,945 and this doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is probably quite jarring. 198 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,404 Good for you, Mr. Moneybags. 199 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,032 Phil, I've got a brat with your name on it. 200 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,784 It's laser engraved right there in the middle, see? 201 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:15,120 How's that amicable divorce, A‐A‐Angie? 202 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:16,621 Phil, try the potato salad: 203 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,582 your stomach acid will break it down, and then you'll poop it out in a few days. 204 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,127 Look, this is the best town I've ever lived in, 205 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:23,586 and I'm from space. 206 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,880 I should know a good town when I see one 'cause I've been to the moon. 207 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:28,133 Oh, oh, hey, hey. Don't hide from me over there, Delvin. 208 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:30,593 I wanna hear about that dental thing. Show me those chompers! 209 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,471 You and Korvo have gotten pretty popular around here, Ter. 210 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,932 Yeah, some people are just natural unifiers, I guess. 211 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,976 We have the juice. It's like a little charisma thing. 212 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:38,852 Charisma action going on. 213 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,729 You guys should run for the president of the HOA. 214 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,606 Ruth, the old lady who runs it now? 215 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,900 We would be so happy to see that bitch go. 216 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,735 Some weird guy with a ponytail just told me 217 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,571 that if we ran for president of the HOA, we'd win! 218 00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,197 Oh my, Terry, do you know what that means? 219 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,449 We could park an RV in the driveway. 220 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,950 We could make all the rules around here. 221 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,493 No more "paint the ship." 222 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,620 No more "don't build a giant hole 223 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,956 in the middle of the road to capture children in." 224 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,542 I‐I‐I could do some crazy Disney's Blank Check style stuff, 225 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:05,378 like build a water slide that goes down under the ground with a window 226 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,464 and you can see the dinosaur diorama we built down there 227 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:08,506 and, oh my god, it would be so awesome. 228 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,092 Everyone would have to like us, by HOA law. 229 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,052 Which means they would have to like me digging up dead bodies 230 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,721 at the cemetery and fucking them. 231 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:18,850 And the only person who can get in the way is the old lady president. Ruth. 232 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,310 - Ruth. - Ruth. 233 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,312 Ruuuuth. 234 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,231 Terry, no. Let's just go spy. 235 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,984 I don't get it, she's been sitting on her porch for seven hours. 236 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,695 - Doesn't seem that tough. - It's called stamina. She's flexing. 237 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,323 I'm freaking out. She's the incumbent, Korvo. They never lose! 238 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,492 You boys want some peanut butter cookies? 239 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:36,576 Oh, she's threatening us! 240 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,788 Can you help me get a blanket down from my shelf? 241 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:42,123 She's a million years old, man, she probably knows everything. 242 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,625 How do we compete with that? We need an edge! 243 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:44,834 I can update the nanobots, 244 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,753 make them bigger so they can gather more information. 245 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:48,171 You're going down, bitch. 246 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,634 Sorry about the razzing, Yumyulack. 247 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:56,471 I guess, like, we were so focused on nicknaming and mocking your nipples 248 00:09:56,555 --> 00:10:00,308 because our buddy JT got mondo chomped shredding the nar 249 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,268 and had to have his totes bummer jammed. 250 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,895 I totally understand. 251 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:07,398 See? They were projecting their own insecurities onto your nipples. 252 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:10,360 I would have done the same thing if you'd been mondo chomped. 253 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:13,322 Ugh, why are we being nice? I want to kill this little blue... 254 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,115 Yumyulack rules! 255 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,699 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 256 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,368 Jesse, I can't believe I'm saying this, 257 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,745 but I'm actually glad you hid my shrink ray, 258 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:24,624 because today I learned that people are only jerks when you're a jerk to them. 259 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,751 Wait a minute, you're not just pretending to like humans 260 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,586 so you get the shrink ray back, right? 261 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:29,587 I'm no schmuck. 262 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:32,841 No way, I genuinely want to make friends with every jerk in town. 263 00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:34,926 - Yes! - And I know the perfect place to go next! 264 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,177 Hmm, let me guess. 265 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,762 The guys who work at GameGrape, 266 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,014 the used game store in the mall. 267 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,684 They're always so mean to you, but I think today... 268 00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,144 No, way better. Come on! 269 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:47,939 What? Um, okay, uh, wait, ooh, uh, oh boy... 270 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,447 A‐actually, you know what? We've done enough for today! 271 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:57,240 You've grown so much and I think... No way. 272 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,701 I need to find out why these guys are so mean. 273 00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,911 I bet it's the ex‐wife lonely lunch thing again. 274 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,080 Oh man. 275 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,166 Hey, do we have any scissors? I'm in a little over my head here. 276 00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,168 Shut the fuck up, Terry. I'm upgrading the nanobots. 277 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,128 Smarter nanobots means more information, 278 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,672 and more information means there's no way we lose the debate. 279 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:16,134 Such a good idea. Nothing ever goes wrong when you make robots too smart! 280 00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,604 Well, I'm sure that's the last I'll see of that. 281 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,995 Hello? If anyone is in here, the police are on their way... Ohh! 282 00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,914 Oh, oh, ow! 283 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:58,968 We know everything there is to know about everyone in town. 284 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,678 What they want, what their secrets are. 285 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,056 I know things about people they don't even know about themselves. 286 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:06,351 Like Todd? His favorite color isn't red. It's orange. 287 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,269 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who cares, who cares. What about Ruth? 288 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,605 What is she afraid of? Does she have any allergies? 289 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,982 What is gonna take her down? That's my one blind spot. 290 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,819 That old withered bag refuses to drink water. 291 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,321 Of course! Old people only drink Coke and they never shower. 292 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,406 It doesn't matter. The only thing we have to know about her is that 293 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,368 she's about to be the ex head of the HOA. 294 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,619 Nothing can stop us! 295 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,247 Ha ha ha ha, Terry, ha ha ha ha ha ha. 296 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,545 Okay, look, you all know us. 297 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,964 Me and Korvo, we give you what you want. 298 00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,258 If you vote for us, we've got you covered. 299 00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,051 You want big speed bumps that launch your car 300 00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,803 in the air like Dukes of Hazzard? Done. 301 00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,347 You want a ski‐lift? I already crayoned up the plans. 302 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,307 We can break ground today. 303 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:50,145 Two words: Internet. Fiber. Not in that order. 304 00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:51,104 You're getting it! 305 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,481 You're all gonna have super‐fast interneeeet! 306 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,525 You know what? I kinda feel bad for Ruth. 307 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,360 I bet she dies right in that chair when we win. 308 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,070 I can't believe we're going to be presidents. 309 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,157 This is amazing. President Korvo. Mister Korvo. 310 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:03,742 Wait. 311 00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:05,452 Wait, what the hell is that? 312 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,495 Oh my god, no, the nanobots! 313 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,456 I must speak. 314 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,666 Hey, hey, no, no, no, no. Don't listen to this guy. 315 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,252 He isn't even really a guy, he's just a‐a pile of robots. 316 00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,545 It's true. 317 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:20,216 I am composed of a trillion microscopic, self‐replicating robots, 318 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,634 but I know... 319 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:24,638 That all humans require... 320 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,098 require... 321 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,976 a stop sign at the corner of Oak and Main. 322 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,479 People speed through there like they're street racing. 323 00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,522 It's got to stop, and I can make it happen. 324 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,899 - No. What? - No, no, no, no, no. 325 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,776 I‐I‐I don't think so, stop the clock. 326 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,111 We already had the debate. Everyone has to vote right now. 327 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:41,780 Where did you get that suit? Take it off. 328 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:46,910 - Uh, it's my suit. - Gordon, what the hell? 329 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:50,330 I too thought at first that this Nanobot Man was some kind of frightening 330 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,957 X‐Files type, you know, monster creature. 331 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,918 But then, he took me to a nice steak dinner. 332 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:55,960 That's all it takes? 333 00:13:56,044 --> 00:14:00,131 Folks, last thing I want to do is drag this boring HOA election out any longer, 334 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:03,051 but I think if you listen for a moment, I could... 335 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,969 whoa, flip your vote. 336 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,846 I‐I command you to leave this place! 337 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,265 Let's hear him out! 338 00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:15,271 Hey, guys, we got pudding over here! 339 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,941 Anybody want chocolate‐vanilla swirl? 340 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,862 Man, these guys are real wound up. 341 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,280 This might take more than a pudding cup. 342 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,657 I know, we should probably just go, right? 343 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,659 You're gonna have to sing them your friendship song! 344 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,410 I don't know if that's a good idea... 345 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:32,372 What the fuck? 346 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,207 Hey, guys, if you think that's punk rock, 347 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,917 wait till you hear my sister's song. 348 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:43,216 ♪ Interracial love friendship... ♪ 349 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,300 Ah! 350 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,095 Ah! Ohh! Ah! 351 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,723 Look, I do think humans are generally nice, 352 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,100 but to prove that point to you today 353 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,352 I installed microchips in all of your enemies' heads 354 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,813 that made them nice when I clicked this button. 355 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,648 But I didn't know about these neo‐Nazis, 356 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,900 so it's not gonna work and I think we're gonna die. 357 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:02,735 Ah, I told you some people are bad! 358 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,113 You're right! Some people are really, really bad! 359 00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:06,656 This is just like the movie Green Room! 360 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,578 Darnell, your lawnmower broke, 361 00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,329 and they don't make the gear anymore, am I right? 362 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,709 There you go, 3D printed on the spot. 363 00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:20,003 And little Elizabeth, born blind. 364 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,588 Let's see what we can do about that. 365 00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:24,174 There you go. 366 00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:26,760 I can see all the smells and sounds! It's amazing! 367 00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:29,262 Seems like your choice is clear: 368 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:32,182 a vote for Nanobot Man is a vote for happiness. 369 00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:34,768 The only reason he knows what you want is because he's been inside your pee. 370 00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:38,313 That's right, Nanobot Man has been spying on you this whole time. 371 00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:40,815 Do you really want to elect a man who's been inside your balls 372 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,233 or, or the other stuff? 373 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,569 It's true, I can see it! I can see everything! 374 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,362 Hah! 375 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,907 It's true, I have been in all your pee. 376 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:52,535 I didn't want to bring this up, but they've forced my hand. 377 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:56,080 Korvo is my dad, and he built my nanobot bodies. 378 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,416 And he and Terry put me in the water 379 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,419 so they could read your minds and give you presents. 380 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,004 You can't elect these two liars. 381 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,507 You're not their customer, you are their product. 382 00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:07,717 We harvest the data for the good of the community! 383 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,552 How else would we know that Dave needs a new shed 384 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:10,678 for all his sex dolls? 385 00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:12,013 We can give him that shed! 386 00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:14,891 That's not true! I have sex with living, human beings! 387 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,935 I love the feeling of being pressed up against... 388 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,479 a warm bag of bones and blood that can give consent. 389 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:21,481 I know you better than these guys. 390 00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:24,734 I know that Becky buried her Guatemalan housekeeper in the back yard. 391 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,569 How 'bout that? That's a big secret right there. 392 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,488 I'm sorry, what? You killed Lupe! 393 00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:30,824 Uh, uh, Jeremy's poisoning his wife for insurance. 394 00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:34,160 Uh, Lesley Donovan teaches class while wearing a hidden vibrator. 395 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:35,495 Samantha is cheating on Michael with Joey! 396 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:36,871 What the fuck? 397 00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:39,499 Phyllis spent all her kid's cancer medicine money on a purse. 398 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,584 Bobby snuck shit in a pie at the pie place. 399 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,253 Everyone should be mad about that. 400 00:16:43,337 --> 00:16:45,588 - Gary has a cactus fetish. - Robert keyed Leslie's car. 401 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,549 This is all your fault. You're making everyone fight! 402 00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:48,341 Fuck you, Terry! 403 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,217 Ow! 404 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,886 - Give me the shrink ray back! - It's in my dollhouse! 405 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,805 What? You know what's going to happen right now 406 00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:55,265 because you did that? ‐Yeah. 407 00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:57,600 Now I have to take these guys out with lethal force! 408 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,686 I'm going to stick my knife up your... Ahh! 409 00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,982 ♪ The Blue Danube Waltz playing ♪ 410 00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:10,071 - I don't like doing this! - I said I was sorry! 411 00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:12,533 It's the suit, not me, it's the suit. 412 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,451 The suit's on auto pilot. 413 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,038 It just does this, sorry. 414 00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:21,082 Maybe, uh, I don't know, maybe be tolerant next time. 415 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,126 Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 416 00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:24,795 Sorry about that eye. 417 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:28,381 Ugh! 418 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:29,674 - Damn you, nanobots! - Me? 419 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,760 This is all your fault! Nobody likes you! 420 00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:32,844 Take that back! 421 00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:55,200 Ah! 422 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:06,711 Ah! Ahhh! 423 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,963 Okay, stop! Everyone stop. 424 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,590 Everyone just shut the fuck up. 425 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:13,301 Look at yourselves. T‐this is fucked. 426 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:14,886 I've been living here for 30 years 427 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,597 and we never had any sci‐fi bullshit. 428 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,599 You want things normal and regular. 429 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:23,561 Don't vote for these stupid ugly Alf‐lookin' motherfuckers. 430 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,563 I've had enough. Fuck these guys. 431 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:26,606 You tell 'em, Ruth! 432 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,525 You're goddamn right I'll tell 'em. 433 00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:30,110 It's fucking bullshit. 434 00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:32,153 I just want to fucking live in peace. 435 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,489 Vote for me, that's all I got to say. 436 00:18:34,573 --> 00:18:36,116 Ruth! Ruth! Ruth! Ruth! 437 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,826 But I can make free electricity 438 00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,911 by harnessing the temperature change in the air! 439 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:43,039 It solves global warming! Come on! 440 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:46,084 A‐and I have big ideas for a video game library that we can all use! 441 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,628 Shut up and go back to your home in the Abyss! 442 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,630 Not all aliens are from the Abyss! 443 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,215 I don't even know you, who are you? 444 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,467 I'm Tyler, and I think you suck. 445 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,052 I knew it! I knew that was Tyler! 446 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,846 Fuck you! I've always hated you! 447 00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,222 Why would we even be from the Abyss? 448 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,767 We have a spaceship sticking out of the top of our house. 449 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,477 I guess sometimes when you gain sentience 450 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,438 and you're full of data about a neighborhood, 451 00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:07,814 you can overreach. 452 00:19:07,898 --> 00:19:09,441 I was just trying to help, 453 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,693 and I ended up hurting the people I love the most. 454 00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:13,111 I'm sorry, guys. Truly. 455 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,737 I hope you still like me after all this. 456 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,198 Yes, I still like you, Mr. Nanobots. 457 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,908 But you know what? I'm starting to think 458 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:21,035 I have to stop worrying about who likes me. 459 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,455 I guess some humans are unevolved bigots 460 00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,123 who don't know a good thing when they see one. 461 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,292 Us sci‐fi folks need to stick together. 462 00:19:27,376 --> 00:19:29,794 To be honest, I'm proud that I made such good nanobots 463 00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,379 that they tried to take over the neighborhood. 464 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:33,715 Now all of you: back in the bag. We've got work to do on the ship. 465 00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:35,675 But I want to live in a house and fall in love 466 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:37,051 and build a recipe folder. 467 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,846 Well, tough. I need to spray you on a navigation panel. 468 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,681 You know you have to listen to me, right? 469 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:42,932 Get back here! 470 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,517 You can't just be free! Damn it! 471 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:45,894 Man, they grow up so fast. 472 00:19:45,978 --> 00:19:47,645 Well, since we lost the election 473 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,898 and everyone's all crazy high‐concept racist now, 474 00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:52,317 I guess that means we better paint the ship to match the roof, huh? 475 00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:54,611 I'll be painting it even more silver than before. 476 00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:58,114 I'm going to light it up at night so Ruth can see it from a mile away. 477 00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,909 - But the rules... - It's a $50 fine. I'll eat it. 478 00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:02,593 Yeah, but then people won't like us... 479 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,663 - Did you give him candy again? - No! 480 00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:07,248 Damn it, Terry! He's getting it from somewhere 481 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:09,292 and if he's not getting it from me, he has to be getting it from you! 482 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,086 I don't know, man. I‐I would remember if I did, but... 483 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,045 What do you mean you would remember? 484 00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:13,421 If he's not getting it from you, where is he getting it? 485 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:14,547 - I don't know okay! - Where? 486 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,466 - Stop yelling at me! - I'll yell at you as much as I want. 487 00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,635 I shouldn't have lied to you. 488 00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:21,846 Humans are complicated, but I didn't think they were so complicated 489 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,306 that they would try to kill us. 490 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,308 After today, I can tell it's important to you 491 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,060 that I be careful who I put in the wall. 492 00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:30,522 So from now on, I'll make sure that everyone in the wall deserves to be... 493 00:20:30,606 --> 00:20:32,274 Ooh, a guy in a red shirt! 494 00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:35,090 - Wait, but... - Look, I had people in shirts 495 00:20:35,174 --> 00:20:36,231 of all the other colors. 496 00:20:36,316 --> 00:20:39,197 I promise we'll use due process on the next one. 497 00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,156 Don't yell at me. 498 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,034 Eh, he was probably a Nazi. 499 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:45,578 I like humans, but I hate shoes. 500 00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:47,872 Like, how are we supposed to taste the ground? 501 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:49,833 I don't know, they don't flavor their ground either. 502 00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,584 Pff! Weird, right? 503 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:52,919 Oh! 504 00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:54,879 Hey, hey. What's going on here? Where are we? 505 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:56,047 W‐what is this? What is this? 506 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,257 What the hell is happening? 507 00:21:03,055 --> 00:21:05,432 Oh my god. What is this place? 508 00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:09,227 Wait, why... w... where are you going? 509 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:10,521 Anywhere but here! 510 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,374 - D‐don't hurt me, don't hurt me. - Empty your pockets. 511 00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:33,501 Ugh! Hey wait, wait, wait, hey. 512 00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:34,627 I don't belong here! 513 00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:37,297 Two little aliens just shrank me down for no reason. 514 00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:39,466 I'm just a regular guy. I didn't do anything to anybody. 515 00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:41,259 More Taffy bandits will be arriving soon, 516 00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:42,886 and the gum boys move south at night. 517 00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,888 We don't want to be anywhere near here when they meet. 518 00:21:44,972 --> 00:21:46,598 Why are they called gum boys? 519 00:21:47,224 --> 00:21:48,516 They love gum. 520 00:21:56,859 --> 00:21:58,568 Did they make a True Lies 2? 521 00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:00,153 The Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. 522 00:22:00,237 --> 00:22:01,863 Is there a sequel to that? 42640

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