Original subtitles

This way, please

Okay

This way

Master

Well, what would you both like to drink?

No, thanks...

We've had a bit too much on the flight

This thing we were going to see, is it ready?

Yes, it's ready

Let's watch it right away

Okay

Ah San, if you could please guard the door

No one should come in this room

We have a very important meeting here

Secretary Huang,

we would like to watch the Book of Rites

It's the original version

Master, it's ready

Good, let's move to the next room

Madam, Miss

Where is master?

Having a meeting

With whom?

With some three aged gentlemen

One of them is Mr. Qian

Mr. Qian from India

About what?

Abalones

They are huge

Like a pair of huge Abalones

They look delicious

These are nothing

I like fresh Abalones

They taste much better

Right

Mr. Qian is well-experienced

He knows what tastes better

He is gluttonous

Ah San, if they stay for dinner,

tell the cook to have some Abalones

Okay

Mum, I like Abalones

Okay

Oh boy, some position that is!

It really is

Very enjoyable

When I was young, I knew of a position too

I used it on so many girls

What is it?

It is awesome

Mr. Qian knows a lot

He knows of an unfathomable posture

I know a position too

What is it?

It is called rear-entry

I didn't know papa is versed in martial arts

He's talking nonsense. Don't listen to him

We are old men now

We can't sleep alone with our cold feet

Don't worry, Mr. Qian

I've already told Secretary Huang...

to find 3 pretty...

young girls for you...

to warm your feet at night

So very thoughtful of you!

You are lucky to arrive today, because...

I'm going to leave for Denmark the day after

For what?

The agent contract is going to expire

It has got to be renewed

How could you?

Our wives won't let us come to HK often

Mr. Qian comes from afar

I certainly ought to entertain you well

I can ask my son Kwok-chuen...

to go to Denmark on behalf of me

Father, this is too important

I... I am afraid...

Don't be afraid. I'm sending you there...

because I trust you can do it

You are twenty something now

You should have more confidence in yourself

I began working when I was 14

Men are meant to experience more, to see more,

or how else would you mature?

You are right

Say...

wasn't it hard to work when you were 14?

Yes, it was miserable

Sometimes, I had not enough to eat

See...

...how great your father is

He worked hard to build up his business,

so you can live comfortably

But he is sort ofjealous. He is a sick man

He can't stand that you live comfortably

He wants you to work hard like him

Begin working when you're in your teens

He wants you to live miserably like him

Listen to me, honey

You were born in a poor family

Kwok-chuen was not

Your father was poor

But Kwok-chuen's is rich

Your mother didn't give you a damn

She is howling again

Kwok-chuen's mother loves him dearly

How can I...

Why are you laughing?

It's nothing

What you say does make sense

Please continue...

I won't let Kwok-chuen...

go to Denmark, which is far away

You...

What?

Father, mother, stop this

Father sends me there only because...

he wants me to broaden my horizon

Going to Denmark is not miserable at all

I am just afraid I can't finish the job...

and might let father down

Don't worry

The three agencies we are going to meet...

...all have their own strong points

You just choose the one which has most to offer

And sign with them

Father, I want to go with brother

You? Look at yourself

What? I look quite grown-up with the moustache

Nonsense

Your father doesn't keep a moustache...

How dare you keep one? Let me tell you

If you don't shave off your moustache...

One day,

I will pull them out one by one

Yeah...

one fine day your mom will pull it out

Kwok-chuen

Mum

When you are in Denmark,

Eat every meal on time

and don't catch a cold in your sleep

Don't worry, Mum

I understand

I am not a little boy now

I will take care of myself

And...

Enough of it

He is not a little boy now

He is my son

He is an outstanding young man

Outstanding?

Just like you,

short, fat and clumsy

What? Am I wrong?

No, you are right

What are you doing?

You, in this house,

...are like her

And I am like her

The whole family listens to you

Sweetie, don't be cross

Or you'll have a stomachache

Kwok-chuen, would you go to Denmark?

Yes, father

Then I'll telegraph and let them know

Sit down

Thank you

Right

The management of Hong Kong Universal...

is sending a representative here to look us over

According to our contacts...

we know their product is in big demand

And now that our agency contract is up for renewal...

we should expect severe competition for sure

Now this is a golden opportunity

We'll have to obtain this valuable agency

Although we are not sure...

...if we can acquire the agency

But we have to try our best

Right

Do you have...

First, we have to draft a proposal

Now I understand that...

Mr. Fung, the boss of Universal, likes girls.

So, we'll play on his weakness to get that contract

Wait. I think it's his son Fung Kwok-chuen...

who is coming

That's the problem

As they say, "Like father like son"

And with a really sexy girl to help us out

That contract is in the bag

And here she is now

Great, huh?

Perfect. So all we need is an attractive blonde

And the agency is ours

I got it. Ann Charlotte

Mr Fung Kwok-chuen

Please go to the information desk

Mr Fung Kwok-chuen

Please go to the information desk

Mr Fung Kwok-chuen

Please go to the information desk

Excuse me. Are you Mr Fung?

Yes

My Card

How do you do?

And this is my private secretary, Ms. Kjoller

How do you do?

I am very happy to meet you

Well, if there is anything at all you need...

you just ask me, anything at all

Thank you, thank you very much

I think Mr Fung is very tired, so I suggest...

you talk to him at the Royal Hotel, alright?

Mr Fung, this is your room here

It is beautiful

So do you like it?

Yes

I hope you find it comfortable

Yes

And this is your bedroom

Thank you

I hope you like it here

Don't you think Copenhagen is beautiful?

Let me see

It is beautiful

And am I beautiful too?

Yeah, you are very beautiful

Am I?

Oh, it is cold!

I know how to warm you up

Baby, has some heat

Are you all right?

Yes, thank you

I want to take a bath

Jeez, why're the girls here so hot?

Shall I wash your back?

Mr Fung

Mr Fung

Am I so ugly...

...that I scare you off?

No, you are beautiful

Thank you

Is there anything I can help you with?

I bring you a proposal

If you have time, I...

Darling, where are you going to?

Hello

Hello

Mr Fung

Hello

Mr Fung, why the big hurry?

Nothing. Would you like a cup of coffee with me?

Yes, all right

Come on

Mr Fung, what's wrong with you?

I am scared of that dame

She is a lot too hot to me

Really?

In fact, I'd like to change rooms,

just to get away from her

That's easy. All you have to do...

...is to phone her company...

to ask them to take her away. That's all

I can't. That would be impolite

Oh, no, it wouldn't be

All right, I will go and phone. Right

All fixed up?

Everything is okay

Good, by the way,

would you like to come to a party?

Oh, sure. Yes, yes...

Hey, look at him

This is my friend, George. This is Peter

He is cute

Let's go over there. Come on

This is Anna

How do you do?

Hi, good looking, care to dance?

Why is she holding me so tight?

I can't control myself!

Oh, I'm sorry

Thank you

Have you got a torch in your pocket?

No

Thank you

Where is the toilet?

Toilet? It is right there

Thank you

H, her... must be Ladies

Then D must mean man's

Sorry...

No one would come

I can't hold it. I don't care

Hey, you

Make love not war

It's real cute

Be careful. It is a gun

Hands up!

Mother, don't worry about me

I have breakfast here everyday

Your brother has breakfast everyday...

...even in Denmark

You're so unfair,

mom just because he has breakfast everyday

We too have breakfast everyday

But you never praise us for that

It's different

You eat because I am here watching you

Your brother listens to me even in Denmark

He is a good kid

You must learn from him

Good morning

By the way, what's your name?

My name is Kwok-chuen

Kwok-chuen?

Yes, and what's your name?

Ann Charlotte

Ensaw...

No, Ann Charlotte

Ensaw...

Oh, no, Ann Charlotte

Enswa... oh, forget it

I will call you Wawa instead

Wawa?

Yeah

What does Wawa mean?

It means a beautiful doll

That is sweet

Would you teach me a bit of Chinese?

Yes, of course I will

- What is this? - Yanjing

- Yanjing - Yes

- And this? - Bizi

- Bizi? - Yes

- And this? - Zuiba

- Zuiba? - Yeah

- And this? - Nainai

- Nainai? - Yes

- And this? - Duqi

- Duqi? - Yes

And this?

Okay, I will tell you

Bi? Bi... Oh no. Do Chinese have 2 noses?

This is Bi. That is B. Different tones

I saw your little B

This thing is no Bi

Tell me

All right, I tell you

Chipan?

Yeah

Yanjing, yanjing

Bizi, Zuiba

Nainai, nainai

Duqi, Chipan

You are so clever

I am going to teach you a song

Chinese song?

I am not going home tonight

Those lonely hearts

And those hesitant men

Don't you forget...

...the sweetness of family

...of family

I am not going home tonight

La...

Don't you forget the sweetness of family

I am not going home tonight

I must go

George, it's too late.

I have to go to the studio

Studio?

Yes

Catch him...

Quick, don't let him run away...

What are you doing?

Don't let him run away

What are you doing?

Come sit down

Hold him

Okay

Mum, please don't shave off my moustache

You're lucky I don't pull it out by its roots

Mum, it doesn't feel cool without one

I don't care

You look awful with it

What are you doing?

The shaver

Mum

Mum, please don't...

No, Mum

Mum, please don't...

Hurry, Mum

Mum, please don't

Madam...

Letter

Master Kwok-chuen's letter

Master Kwok-chuen's letter

Mum, read it to us

Mother

I have a good news for you

When you come to know,

you could react in two ways

You will either be happy or angry

I hope you will feel happy for me

If you feel angry,

please be understanding and don't stop me

I've met a beautiful girl here in Denmark

She is a movie star

Her name is Wawa

Wawa?

We'll come back to Hong Kong to get married

Enclosed please find her photograph

Mother, I do hope you'll like her

I will have a daughter-in-law. Great!

Angry

Old man

Yes

You want to frighten me

Your son is marrying a Danish girl

It's good

Beg your pardon?

I said it's good

No, I won't allow Kwok-chuen...

...to marry a Denmark girl

What difference does it make,

marrying a Denmark girl

and a Chinese girl?

She is his wife, not yours or mine

We have different cultures and lifestyles

And besides, I don't speak English

What are you afraid of?

You can learn it from your grandchildren

They will call me grandpa...

and you... grandma

Grandpa, grandma

I don't like it

Come on, don't be stubborn

It's the 20th century

The important thing is they love each other

They will spend their lives together

We cannot take care of them all the time

Yeah, right...

Don't be mad. Let them be

Look

She's almost wearing nothing!

Kwok-chuen wants us to take a closer look

Let me see

She has a great body

They are huge

Yeah

You moron

Kwok-chuen knows how to pick his wife

What? She has a pointed nose...

...and a big mouth

You don't understand. It's sexy

I don't give it a damn

She looks familiar

It's really her

I won't let Kwok-chuen marry this girl

No, not that girl

Hey, why the sudden change?

Father, you're going back on your words

A while back you said yes and now 'No'?

Yeah. Papa, you can't contradict yourself

You don't understand

Do you all know what she does?

She's a Movie star

Movie star, my foot

She is a porno actress

Father, you can stop brother marrying her

But you can't insult her

I am not insulting her

It's true

You have proof?

Proof? I saw her porno movie before

You saw it before?

I not only saw it,

but also own a copy

Since when did you have such a dirty mind?

My dear

We are not talking about me

The most important thing now is...

...to stop Kwok-chuen from marrying her

That's simple

You go there and bring him home right now

We can't do this

If we take him home by force,

it will reflect badly on our relationship

Let me think

Jingyi, you go there

Tell him the truth and dissuade him

What if brother won't listen to me?

Then you phone me immediately

I will bring him home myself

Put me down

Jingyi, it's you?

You thought I was that Denmark girl

Why didn't you tell me you are coming?

You see, I've been given a task

Take a seat

Where are you staying?

Next door to you

Did you receive my letter?

What did father say?

He told me to come here to take you home

Why?

Because your fiancee...

...is a porno actress

What?

I said, your fiancee...

...is a porno actress

Nonsense

It is true

Father has a copy of her movie

What?

I don't believe it

Go ask her

Hello? Hold the line, please

Hello. Ann Charlotte, please

Yes

Yeah

Yes, thank you

What?

She has gone to the studio

Where are you going?

To find her

No

No

No...

Cut

Camera here

All right, we will take it again

Ready

Action

Easy

Ah, cool it, baby

Camera roll

No, let me go

Help...

Help

No

See?

Cut that out. Stop it

I insist you must stop this

Come home with me right away

You must be out of your mind

Now get off the set

Now listen, you get out of this

This is between Wawa and me

You get out or I'll have you thrown out

Brother

Okay. Listen, I will give you anything...

if only you agree to release Wawa from this film

But why?

Have you gone crazy?

I don't want to be released

I love this job. I do

Now you listen to me...

Out

Before I knock you out

Let's go

Are you coming with me?

No, of course not

I am sorry. Let's get back to work, huh

Brother

She isn't worth it

Let me tell you

Don't insult her...

...in front of me

Where are you going?

I'm going to meet her

Darling

Who's that?

George. Pleased to see you

Hi

This is my sister, Jane

Sit down, have a drink?

Thank you. Thank you very much

A drink?

No, thank you

All right

Listen, I am sorry about this afternoon

It's just...

Oh, forget it

But you don't understand. I behaved badly

You must be angry with me

Angry? What about?

How can I expect you to come away with me...

...when I upset you?

Tell me that?

Away with you?

Darling, I'm serious

Please give up this life of movie-making

I have so much to offer

Money, beautiful house, all you can wish for

Yeah, all I can wish for, except what I want

How can you want more than I can offer?

You can't offer anything better than I have

I like it here. Why should I go to Hong Kong?

Why? So that we can marry

Marry?

I told my parents

They object because of yourjob

But still we must get married

We must get married? You pregnant?

Anyway, I don't love you

But you must

Otherwise, why did you go to bed with me?

Do you think you are the only man in my life?

Do you think you are the big romance...

...I dream about

Listen, I won't be tied down now

I want to come and go exactly as it pleases me

...including going to bed if I want to

It's as simple as that

No... it isn't true

You can't go to bed unless you are in love!

Darling, what the hell is keeping you so long?

Oh, you?

You, get out before I smash you

Brother, let's go

Darling

George, you are always welcome. Good Luck

Where to go I don't know

I just want to forget myself

I find you nowhere

Why? Why would I fall in love with you

Why? Why can't I forget you

I won't take you back, I swear

You are lovable

You are damnable

No, I don't want to think of you

The romance we had

The sweetness we shared

All turned into heart-breaking memories

It becomes a landscape in the dream

Why? Why would I fall in love with you

Why? Why can't I forget you

I won't take you back, I swear

You are lovable

You are damnable

No, I don't want to think of you

The wanderer always moves around

Stands alone at the crossroads

Once again you seem to be in my arms

I remember only your charm

Why? Why would I fall in love with you

Why? Why can't I forget you

I won't take you back, I swear

You are lovable

You are damnable

No, I don't want to think of you

Get out...

Miss

Can you leave me alone?

Can you?

I am talking to you

Do you hear me?

You don't have to yell at me

Dad told me to keep an eye on you

Dad? Are you trying to intimidate me?

Don't you dare say it again

Say it again

Say it again

I won't say it, Okay?

Why are you so angry?

Jingyi, go back to your room

I beg of you

Go back to your room, please

I won't annoy you here

Get out

Please, don't cry...

Listen, don't cry

You go there and have a sauna

I will wait for you here. Go on

I promise I will wait for you. Go now

It's at the corner

You can't go in. Take a shower first

I am sorry?

Come with me

This is the shower

Let me have your towel. I'll keep it for you

There's nothing to worry about

We are all girls

No...

Hey, guy, are you Chinese?

What do you think?

I am sorry

I'm really sorry

I don't like drinking with a Chinese...

who doesn't care to speak Chinese

I am glad to hear that

I am sorry. My name is Daniu

What's your name?

Fung

Brother Fung, let's have a drink

Where are you from?

Hong Kong

How long have you been here?

More than 20 days

Got any girlfriends?

Let's drink

Women and wine are inseparable

Do you like any of those girls? My treat

Say, which one do you fancy?

This one

...and that one

Okay, I will ask them out

Brother Fung, let's go

Where to?

Come on. Let's go

Thank you

Oh, yes

More

Come on

Which one do you prefer?

Tell me

I am not picky

Come on

Why did they take off their pants...

...but not their shirts?

Your shirts?

More money

All right...

Why did you give them money?

They won't take off their shirts if not

Some chicks charge you for that

Come on

We do it in the same room?

Yeah

They are roommates

Don't be shy. Come on...

Come on

Where are you going?

I am not used to...

Don't be shy

No, I can't...

Then wait for me outside

Okay...

You will have to wait for quite a while

Okay

Brother Fung

Don't worry

I promise you I will wait

I am here

Are you done?

Yeah

I haven't finished my cigar

I took care of them both, you know

Let me tell you

Girls here are easy

Some will throw themselves at you

Throw themselves at you?

Come in

Mr Fung

Hello

Throw themselves at you!

You are...

My name is Yang

Thank you. Ms Yang, how do you do?

Mr Fung, how do you do?

Please take a seat. Please sit

Mr Fung, have you looked at...

...the proposal I gave you last time

Proposal?

Oh, yes

I haven't made my decision yet

She also wears a long coat. Would she...

It's cold

Taking shower

Mr Fung, come

Put on the coat

I have been here for some days,

but haven't had any chance to do sightseeing

If you have time,

would you show me around?

All right

This is my sister Jingyi

This is Ms Yang

Ms Yang

Are you going out?

Yes. Would you like to come?

Yes

So you are the God of Fertility?

If I was the God of Fertility,

...you would be very busy

How come?

You will bear many children

You have many brothers and sisters

It must be fun

It must not be easy for you and your brother

...to get a firm foothold...

...in a foreign country

Let's not talk about this issue

The day after tomorrow is Christmas

Do you have any plans?

Will I have any plans?

I am asking you

I am asking you too

Why?

I've given everything to you

Really?

Yes

Then I will sell you to someone

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

I got some wine here

Let's light up some candles

...and turn off the lights

What is it?

Nothing. You can't see it

Let me see it

Let me see it

No, you can't

I must see it. Let me see it

You can't see it. You really can't

Let me see it

Let me... Let me see it...

Let me

The candles are so cute

They are like two feet

Why didn't you want me to see them?

Why?

What are you hiding?

Oh, I was just kidding

I won't listen

You have so many good things

It's cute

I got dizzy

Go to the bed and lie down

Don't touch me

He must have planned it

No wonder he kept telling me to drink

Why am I so stupid

I can tell with his look

It's like he wants to swallow me

Be careful. Don't let him come close

You think all girls are loose

They will go to bed with you

...when you ask them

I tell you I won't

Women... women are all the same

Don... Don't touch me

I won't touch you

Morning

Brother Fung

Sorry, can you wait for me at the restaurant

I'll get dressed and meet you there

I have had my breakfast

Then...

I got a friend in there

Is she your girlfriend?

Yes

She threw herself at you?

You are such a Casanova

Let me take you to lunch then

Thanks

Drink?

Anything will do

Brother, you...

How about you?

Nothing...

Your brother?

So it is...

What's wrong?

It's all your fault

What have I done?

How dare you?

Why was my brother here?

He...

Sorry, lady

Sorry

Where are you going in such a hurry?

Just taking a stroll

Where are you from?

I'm from Hong Kong

Let me be your guide?

Why not?

Brother

Brother

Jingyi, why are you with my brother?

We just met

I need to talk to you

I need to talk to you too

Great. Then tell them to leave first

Ask them to wait for us in the restaurant

Good

They are really good friends

You wait for us in the restaurant

Okay

I need to talk to your brother

You go first

Okay

We will wait for you there

Okay

Let's go

You are good

We can't fight in a public area

Come with me if you want to fight

If you don't mind

Go ahead

You are such a disgraceful jerk

God, how could you be so spiteful?

Let me tell you...

...my sister is not a loose girl

jWhat? My sister isn't a cheapy either

I told you to play with foreign girls...

How dare you frolic with my sister...

...and accuse me of being disgraceful

I am not playing. I want to marry her

I...

What?

I will tell you if you win

So?

I bumped into your sister this morning

And I didn't know she is your sister

I am sorry. I was wrong

It's late

They are waiting for us

Let's go

Are you impressed with Chinese kung fu?

What is it?

Want to fight with me?

Okay

Let me

What is taking them so long?

Where are they?

They must be fighting

Fighting?

My brother likes fighting

Why didn't you stop them?

They like fighting, so let them be

Here they come

Sorry

Brother

Where were you?

Your brother and I had a chat

Chat?

A Fight

No, it's just for fun

Right

Then you should treat us to a meal

No problem

And I'll take you to a night club

Okay

Look at those beautiful black hair chicks over there

Come on

They dance well

Yeah

Hi girls, why don't we dance? Come on

What are they doing?

Don't be afraid. They do this...

even if you come with your boyfriend

They will ask you to dance

I don't want to dance

Then you say Naich

Naicha

Niach

Naicha

How could two beautiful girls like you...

...refuse to dance with us?

Come on

Stop

Get off, you son of a bitch

You want a fight?

All right, but not here

Outside the forest

All right, outside

Hey fellows, am I glad to see you!

You see those two guys here

They tried to pick a fight with us just now

We're fighting them back

Let's go this way. Come on

Brother, you fight with them

Don't worry, I can handle them

Don't worry, he can handle them

You see?

Brother

Move aside

I'll kill you

Stop it

Hold it

Hold it

Let's stop fighting and be friends

Yes, you are right

All men are brothers

Kwok-chuen

Brother

Mr Fung, how do you do?

This is my elder brother

Nice to meet you

How do you do? Please sit...

What would you like to drink?

Whisky

Brother?

The same

Me too

Mr Fung, have you looked at the proposal?

I have read it

It's perfect. We can sign the contract any time

That's great

There is no problem on my side

I look forward to working with you

Same here

Mr Yang

I have to ask for your permission

I would like...

To marry Jiaojiao?

Thank you

Brother, would you...

It is okay with me...

...if it is okay with Jiaojiao

Of course she's okay with it

If Jiaojiao didn't want to marry him,

she wouldn't bring him here

You...

Go after her...

Excuse me

Why are you laughing?

You learn from your travels

It's so true

I have seen a lot here...

...and have learnt a lot

And I will marry a beautiful girl

You've had your wild days

I didn't

You didn't?

You forgot

I saw a beautiful and sexy girl

when I went to see you the first time

She was in your room

Why was that?

It was a business meeting

You paid her

Or was it the other way around?

Oh, c'mon now, don't try to be funny!

Hey wait...

Tell me the truth

No, I did nothing like that

I swear

No? Really?

No

Made no Danish girlfriends here?

There was one though

Tell me, who was she?

I won't tell you. You will be cross

I won't. Let bygones be bygones

I won't be mad at you

Good. That's good

Then let's put our past behind us

Did you hurt yourself?

Got you

It hurts

You're not my wife yet

And you're acting like one

Because you are not honest

Tell me. Who was she?

You promise you won't be pissed

Her name is Ann Charlotte

I give her a Chinese name

Wawa

The beautiful women of Copenhagen

The handsome Chinese men

Yanjing, bizi and zuiba

Nainai, duqi, and the B

Do you think you are the only man in my life?

Do you think you are the big romance...

...I dream about

Listen, I won't be tied down now

I want to come and go exactly as it pleases me

...including going to bed if I want to

It's as simple as that

We had some happy moments

From her I learned that...

we think and see things differently

I liked her a lot

I want to meet her

Let's have a party and invite her

This is Jiaojiao... meet Wawa

How do you do? Nice to see you

- This is Peter - Hello

Oh, of course you've met

But you haven't met Jiaojiao yet, now have you?

Shall we dance?

Brother

Here they come

C'mon, let's go over there

Meet my parents

Auntie

THE END Subtitles by: Reklame11