Original subtitles

Subtitles: Lu�s Filipe Bernardes

We want Marlo! We want Marlo!

We want Marlo! We want Marlo!

Hello to you, this is Regis Philbin...

your on-the-spot international reporter...

speaking to you from London's historic St. Martin's Church,

an appropriate setting for one of the most historic events...

ever to happen in this city since the last coronation.

For here, today at this time in this beautiful church...

a major event is being enacted.

The wedding of a world-famous figure,

and surely this figure is famous the world over.

Hollywood's all-time superstar,

the greatest sex symbol the screen has ever known.

The famous, the unique, the one and the only...

Marlo Manners.

# Marlo, the female answer to Apollo #

# As lovely as Venus de Milo #

# A living dream #

# Marlo, you hold the promise of tomorrow #

# For you're the rainbow that we follow #

# Across the silver screen #

# A living dream #

# Across the silver screen #

# Marlo #

# Some vital instinct and your heart goes #

# You sort of chase away sorrow #

# With some whimsical line #

# Marlo #

# I'd sell my soul for you to borrow #

# If I could only make you mine #

# Make you mine, make you mine #

# Make you mine #

Roger Burton. I'm speaking to you from the foyer...

of London's most exclusive hotel, the Sussex Court.

Where by one of those curious quirks of time and fate...

two events of momentous, possibly historic significance,

are about to take place.

Tonight, in the luxurious bridal suite, here at Sussex Court,

the year's most romantic newlyweds will spend their wedding night.

But as the crowds in the streets eagerly await the arrival...

of the legendary Marlo Manners, now Lady Barrington,

and her groom, Sir Michael Barrington...

high above us, away from the world of glamour and fantasy,

a world of reality.

Behind closed doors, in secret session, the leaders of the world's great powers...

are locked together in a determined effort to resolve the tensions and crisis...

which threaten the world's survival.

For these men, no time for a world of fantasy and romance.

Gentlemen! Gentlemen, please!

Hey, fellas, she's coming!

But as these men of destiny ponder over the future of the world,

we have time for a brief glimpse into the bridal chamber...

where every preparation is being made to welcome the happy couple.

And so, it's over to you, Gil Stratton.

Hello, there, sports fans. It's time to call 'em as we see 'em.

And we certainly see 'em.

We're here to cover one of the key events of the entire season.

Now, that is Dan Turner,

Miss Manner's personal representative for many, many years.

Mr. Turner, pardon me, sir. Could we have a few words for the television audience?

Uh... hello!

Uh, that's perfect, dear, thank you so much. I appreciate that.

Red carnations? This is a wedding, not a bullfight. White!

- White. - Get out.

Those are perfect. Right there. Perfect.

In the bedroom, thank you so much. Hey, you!

- Me, sir? - Yes, you. What the hell is that?

- It's a eucalyptus. - Now listen, you.

Calyptus plants eat up a lot of oxygen. And tonight, of all nights...

Miss Manners is gonna need as much oxygen as she can get.

- So take eulyptus... - Out!

Oh, you catch on fast. Thanks. For the kids.

Okay... Eulyptus!

And now we're in the inner sanctum, the bedroom,

where the focal point is the magnificent and famous...

golden swan bed, which has been flown in especially...

from Hollywood for this very special night.

- Oh, if this bed could only talk. - Hey, bite your tongue.

Let me see those. Those towels are too rough. Out!

Mr. Turner, let me ask this question, I think you know the answer.

How many times has Miss Manners taken the marriage vows?

- Hundreds. - Hundreds?

That's right. And each time she vowed never again.

What do you know about her groom, Sir Michael Barrington?

Actually, nothing. What do you know about him?

- He's rich. - Rich.

- He's titled. - Titled.

- And he's a bit of a diplomat. - Oh, he'd better be.

All I know is that Marlo is madly in love with him...

- and it's really too bad. - Too bad?

Yes. You see, this marriage comes at a very inconvenient time.

Marlo is supposed to start a new picture at Empire Studios...

Ah, the white chocolate! Perfect!

Marlo loves short marriages and very long honeymoons.

We're doing a new picture. A satyre on Washington.

By the time she gets out of bed there may be a new administration.

Hello? She is. Um, thank you very much.

She's coming! Everybody out!

You! Back, out! Get out! Thank you very much.

- Can I ask you one more question, please. - No, you can't.

- One more question. - Look at my lips. No!

- All right. Well, thank you very much, sir. - Thank YOU very much.

You can leave out this way... Thank you... very, very much.

Thank you, thank you very much. I appreciate it... Get out...

This is Gill Stratton, returning you to Roger Berbert in the lobby.

Thank you, Gil.

I have just recieved word that the wedding party is at this moment...

only a few hundred yards from the hotel. And so...

we take you to our outside cameras...

and bid a sincere and warm welcome to the bride and groom.

They're here! They're here!

Marlo, Marlo! Do your fans like you better single or married?

Oh, they like me any way they can get me.

Do you get a lot of proposals from your male fans?

Yeah, and what they propose is nobody's business.

Lady Barrington, may I welcome you to the Sussex Court...

and say that I and my entire staff are at your disposal day and night.

If it wasn't my wedding night, you'd have a deal.

Miss Manners, would you be kind enough to tell us...

where you're spending your honeymoon?

With my husband, of course.

Marlo Manners, does getting married mean you're giving up Hollywood?

Me give up Hollywood, are you kidding?

Hooray for Hollywood!

Hooray!

# Hooray for Hollywood! #

# Hollywood!

Yeah.

How do you like Big Ben, Marlo?

I don't know. I never met the gentleman.

# Hooray for Hollywood! #

Hooray, hooray!

Hooray, hooray!

Hooray, hooray!

Hooray, hooray!

How do you like it in London, Marlo?

Oh, I like it anywhere.

Sir Michael...

Lady Barrington.

# Hooray, Hollywood #

# Hooray, Hollywood #

# Hooray for Hollywood! #

Hooray!

Hold on to your hats, sirs. We're going up.

Sir Michael, Lady Barrington, welcome to the bridal suite.

Oh, kinda cozy.

Should you require anything, Your Ladyship,

please don't hesitate to call me.

I'll keep you in mind.

I can hardly believe this. I feel like the first man who landed on the moon.

In a few minutes, you're gonna be the first man who landed on Venus.

I wanted to carry you across the threshold.

Save your strength, honey.

Ah... Hi!

- Go away. - This won't take a minute.

What do you want?

Unfortunately it's not what I want, it's what the studio wants.

Oh, we understand each other.

I know that you and Marlo were very much in love.

And I want to help you out as much as I can, you know that.

Okay.

The studio has given you five glorious days for a honeymoon. Enjoy yourself.

But Marlo's supposed to shoot a screen test with a new leading man.

She's also supposed to be fitted for new clothes.

Well, I'm her new leading man now.

And she certainly won't be needing many clothes for the next few days.

So, if you don't mind, Mister, er... Turner.

Now wait a minute. You don't understand something. You haven't married a wife.

You've married Marlo Manners. An American institution.

Don't you understand? She has things to do.

She has an image to maintain.

Please, take my advice. Don't make waves.

I've arranged for everything to happen this afternoon!

- Absolutely not. - Wait!

So you can enjoy your honeymoon, don't you see?

I can have the whole thing wrapped up in a couple of hours. Hey!

The beauty part is Marlo doesn't even have to leave the suite.

- What do you say? - Under no circumstances.

Oh, that's fabulous! I knew you'd come through for us.

You're beautiful! You're a prince!

Here, prince.

I told you this morning the answer is no!

She has to do it, Dan, just one more time.

Dockweiler, you're asking a hell of a lot. She just got married today.

It can't be helped. Everything depends on it. You can't let her refuse.

Dan, you've always come through for us before and so has Marlo.

You can make her go along with anything.

I don't know... She's really fallen for this guy.

Remember, she's doing this for Uncle Sam.

- She'll listen to you. - I hope so.

- Got the signs now? - Yes, I think so.

- This means your hearts suit is weak. - Right.

- This means ask for aces. - Aces, that's right.

- What does this mean? - This means that you ain't deaf,

you ain't so dumb, you both cheat.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Chapter 33 of the Marlo Manners Story.

Dear autobiography,

I've got another man in my life.

I don't know how many that makes, but as I always say,

it's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men.

This one's got it all. At least that's what he keeps telling me.

But I'll let you know after tonight

Now let me tell you about another guy.

I think he was husband number two... or was it three?

He was born and raised on a Russian farm.

A real farmer. He spent his childhood in the wheat...

and his marriage in the hay.

They called him Sexy Alexei.

Niet!

Then there was Laszlo, husband number four, I think,

He claimed he was stolen by gypsies as a child.

It had a lasting effect on him.

The first thing he did was steal a kiss. Then he stole my heart.

In fact, he'd steal anything that wasn't nailed down.

My name is Laszlo Karolny. My suite is ready?

Yes, sir. Please register.

But I forgave him everything. He was such a wonderful director.

Very much like Lubitsch. In fact, they called him Son of Lubitsch.

At least that's what it sounded like.

- Don't you ever knock? - I'm so sorry.

- Thank you. Now get out! - Not till you've seen this.

I think I have something rather better to be doing than watching television.

All London is agog.

Ol' Marlo has done it again and for the umpteenth time.

Only this time, a title comes with it.

Marlo Manners, sex siren of the silver screen is now Lady Barrington.

- Who is this woman? - What? That's Rona Barrett.

- She's a very powerful lady. - "But how many times Marlo has been married?"

Unfortunately nobody knows.

Because Marlo has always been so secretive about her husbands.

So is Sir Michael, the fifth,

or the sixth...

or the six and seven-eighths?

Cheeky, I say. If she were a chap, I'd punch her right on the nose.

Perhaps he is Sir Michael, the seventh, who could be sure?

All I can tell you is that the gal who played Limehouse Lil and Chicago Rose...

is now playing Lady Barrington, which may prove to be her toughest role of all.

Damned cheek!

Hey, this is a live show. She's broadcasting from the lobby.

If I were you, I'd go down there and give her a piece of your mind.

- You know, I think I jolly well shall. - I think you jolly well should.

- I will. - Good!

Oh, and while you're at it, would you put in a word for Marlo's new movie?

Kazenwood's Great.

It's in Technicolor!

" ...loved and adored Marlo all these years."

"...have no fear that she will not be able to handle being Lady Barrington."

"The question we are asking is,"

"How will Sir Michael handle being Lord Marlo Manners?"

Sixth earl of Hollywood.

Right on, Rona.

- Oh, you look great! - Where's Michael?

He's downstairs trying to save your reputation.

He oughta be up here trying to ruin it.

- What are you doing? - Listening to my memoirs.

I didn't know you were still doing your memoirs.

That tape is loaded. Listen, Dockweiler just got hold of me.

- Dockweiler? - Yeah.

There's a lot going on in this hotel.

Not around here there isn't.

Marlo, Uncle Sam wants you.

You're joking. That's all in the past.

- But Dockweiler's desperate. - Forget it.

He says you are the only one who can save the situation.

I don't want to hear about it. This is my wedding night.

I know it's your wedding night, but what am I gonna do?

When I came to work for you that was the deal.

- Any time they needed you. - I don't know how I got into this.

Marlo, you know very well.

Yeah.

In the beginning, the studio asked me to go out with some important people.

Politicians, financiers, VIPs.

Sure. They wanted to be seen with the fabulous Marlo Manners...

and it was good for the studio.

The next thing I knew, the State Department got in on it.

You showed up.

The greatest day of my life.

You said it would be helpful to our interests abroad...

if I were to go out with Ambassador so-and-so...

or stay home with His Highness Prince whatsisname.

Talk about shuttle-diplomacy, I woke up in more strange places than Kissinger.

I even married some of them.

And you did it for old glory. You should be proud.

I should be tired, but I'm not.

- Marlo, do you know what you are? - Watch it!

You're America's secret weapon.

Well, enough is enough. I finally met a guy that I really go for...

and nothing's gonna louse that up.

Marlo...

There's a top-level summit meeting going on in this very hotel at this very moment.

And the key to that whole meeting is Alexei Andreiev Kerenski.

- Oh, Sexy Alexei. - And he won't budge.

Well, you gotta know how to make 'em budge.

And you're the only one who can do it.

According to Dockweiler, Alexei has never really gotten over his marriage to you.

He was over like that.

With Alexei, everything was over like that.

Alexei told Dockweiler that for one more night with you,

for one romantic champagne supper with candlelight and violins,

he would be willing to make some vitally important concessions...

to the United States.

Is that all he wants?

- Candlelight and violins? - That's all he wants.

And you wouldn't be betraying Sir Michael, you would be doing a good deed.

- For your country! - And what about Sir Michael?

I'll keep him so busy going from one television show to another...

he won't know what's happening. What do you say? For Uncle Sam.

- For Uncle Sam, I'll do it. - Ah, you're wonderful!

Oh... give me the tape.

- My memoirs? - I'm gonna shred it.

My memoirs?

Marlo, you're on it, I'm on it, your country's on it.

Anything you've ever done is on it.

Everyone you've ever done it with is on that tape.

If the news media gets a hold of it, the country goes...

the summit goes, Sir Michael goes.

Shred it!

Madam, I consider the remarks you've just made on television to be utterly outrageous.

And I would like to protest most strongly.

My wife has nothing at all in common with the women she plays...

Lady Barrington is as pure as the brittle snow.

- Well, let's not talk about Miss Marlo... - Er, Lady Barrington.

Uh, excuse me... I mean, Lady Barrington.

Why don't we talk about you?

I mean, like... Have you ever been married before?

No. Uh... No, I never found my ideal woman until now.

But you have had other relationships.

Relationships?

You know, I mean, when you're fond of someone.

- A relationship. - Oh, yes, of course.

Um, Harrow, and on the playing fields of Eton.

But, er... they're boy schools, aren't they?

- I mean, all boys? - Indeed they are.

You mean you've had relationships with other boys?

My goodness, yes, of course!

The rugby team, the football team.

The whole team?

- I'm a team player. - I say you are!

The camaraderie on the field,

the good-natured byplay in the locker room,

the jolly give-and-take in the shower.

Oh, we all pulled together at Eton, you know.

Sir Michael, are you gay?

- Gay? - Yes, gay.

Hm, yes, I would say so. Of course I'm gay.

Always gay, never depressed, happy and gay, that's my motto.

We'll be right back after this message.

Wow! Hey, what're you doing later?

Hey, I heard Marlo Manners is staying in this hotel.

All right, cool it fellows, cool it.

- Mr. Foreman? - That's right.

On behalf of the Sussex Court Hotel,

may I welcome you and the members of the United States Athletic team.

- Sign here, please, sir. - Sure.

We understand you broke quite a few records at the Olympics.

Yeah! Yeah.

Well, in which case, would you please sign this form, sir?

- Sure. What does it say? - That you will pay...

for anything you break around here.

Break? What are you talking about? We didn't break any...

- Enjoy your stay, gentlemen. - Let's go, boys.

- Hurry up! - Why is it always me?

As long as you're living in here you ought to get some furniture.

- A box, some curtains, a little lump seat. - What about Marlo?

- She's gonna do it. - Great!

What's our next move?

The most important thing for us to remember is...

Are you gentlemen coming out?

Oh, no, we live here.

Hey, coach! Coach, how about the night off?

Hey, you guys are here to train.

If there's gonna be any broad jumping, it'll be at the track, not in the bedroom.

4th floor, gentlemen. Here we are! Everybody out.

Excuse me! Quit pushing!

Come on, let's go...

Sorry. I seem to have gotten carried away.

Dockweiler, you don't need those. We're alone.

Uh, yes... Right.

What's the scam?

You get in touch with Alexei, I'll let him know when everything's set up.

- His room, or Marlo's? - His room. It's her wedding night.

- What about Sir Michael? - I'll take care of everything.

- Ten four. - A-okay.

- All systems go. - Over and out.

Oh, pardon me. Is the shredding machine in there?

Good God, I hope not.

There must be some place.

Oh...

Voil�.

Ochichornia, ochichornia

- Ochichornia... - Here I am, darling.

- Did you miss me? - No, I caught your whole act.

You sure told Rona a thing or two.

I told her and the world about the real Marlo Manners.

Oh, it's real, honey, it's all real.

I suppose you're getitng ready.

The things you have to go through. Your manager told me all about it.

He told you?

- Yes, he did. - And you don't mind?

Of course I mind, but what can I do about it?

Anyway, it won't take all that long.

- Oh, you know him too, huh? The word sure gets around.

All these people clutching at you.

Always wanting something.

And as for your manager, he really rubs me the wrong way.

Don't worry, honey, I'll rub you the right way.

Love.

Love will keep us together.

Think of me, babe, whenever...

some sweet-talking guy comes along.

# Singing his song, don't mess around # # You gotta be strong #

# Stop # # But I really love you #

# Mmm, stop # # I'll be thinking of you #

# Look in my heart and let love # # Keep us together #

# Whatever #

# You #

# You belong to me now #

# Ain't gonna set you free now #

# When those guys start hanging around # # Talking me down #

# Hear with your heart # # And you won't hear a sound #

# Stop # # But I really love you #

# Mmm, stop # # I'll be thinking of you #

# Look in my heart and let love # # Keep us together #

# Whatever #

# Young and beautiful #

# Your looks will never be gone #

# When the others turn you off #

# Who'll be turning you on? # # You will, you will, you will #

# I will be there to share forever #

# Love will keep us together #

# Said if before # # And I'll say it again #

# While others pretend #

# I need you now and I'll need you then #

# Stop, cause I really love you #

# Stop, I'll be thinking of you #

# Look in my heart and let love # # Keep us together #

# Whatever #

# Whenever... well ever #

# Oh, stop... Oh, stop... #

# Oh, go ahead, honey #

What is that?

- Yes? - Wardrobe!

Come on in, ladies.

What the devil do you think you're doing? Pick that dress up!

- Sorry, sir. - Marlo!

You're looking even more magnificent than usual.

Wait till you see what Roger has created for you.

Lovely, lovely.

The pink, the pink you silly!

- Wild silk, wild silk! - How beautiful!

- Wild, wild silk. - Beautiful.

How long is this going to take?

How long will it take you to undress?

Oh, you're looking at the world's champion.

That dress is so fantastic that even I would wear it!

In fact, I have.

Mmm, when I'm good I'm very good,

but when I'm bad I'm better.

The gold! Bring me the gold.

Gold! Yes, gold! Real gold, solid gold, oh, yes!

Absolute gold here, here's the real stuff here. No messing about here.

Aztec gold, absolute real Spanish gold.

You know something? You gotta get up early in the morning...

to catch a fox.

But you gotta stay up late at night...

to get a mink.

One of my finest creations, those lines, those lines!

They said I couldn't do it because I was b�te.

But, hey, look at that! I'm a genius! Absolute genius!

No wonder, no wonder! They all gave it all up and went into perfumes.

I'm the girl that works at Paramount all day...

and Fox all night.

Oh, no, you don't! Enough is enough!

I've had all I can stand.

This is my kitchen and I'll defend it to death!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

- What country are you from? - The United States.

- Oh, thank God! Someone to talk to. - Oh, sure.

Oh, you don't know what I've been through!

This summit conference. They've taken over my kitchen.

They've all come bringing their own cooks.

Look! Turks, Ethiopians, Orientals, Arabs.

They're using goat's milk, and curry, and sheep's eyeballs.

- God knows what else. - Disgusting!

- Oh, God. - Give me a good American hamburger any day.

- A what? - With relish and...

What? Out! Out, out, out!

Philistine!

Out, out, out, damn yankee.

Shut up! I'm sick of the lot of you!

Wops, huns, chinks! Out of my way!

Now let's take the vote once more.

Se�or Fernando Alvarado de Mendoza.

S�.

Monsieur Romain de Tr�ves.

Oui.

Baron Wilhelm Von Clausemeyer.

Yavol.

Alexei Andreiev Kerensky.

(Niet)

Niet.

Perhaps we should take another look at statistics.

All right, if you will, Miss Brigit, please.

The grain output from the Soviet Union during the '75-'76 period...

amounted to 2 million bushels a year,

which in indirect terms correlates with the 20 million barrels of oil...

from the oil-producing countries.

Therefore, over 20%... No, I'm wrong there.

Over 22% of all natural resources...

Da!

Comrade Kerensky...

Do I understand that you have reconsidered your position in this matter?

There's very old, very old Russian proverb.

In other words?

I go for a quicky.

The caviar is on its way.

Don't worry, darling, I'll have all these dresses ready in time for the picture.

Have a wonderful honeymoon.

- I always do. - Who's the lucky man this time?

- Me. - Oh... I'm awfully sorry.

Congratulations, dear boy. I say...

Saville Row. The North side.

Ghastly!

Well, goodbye and er... pip pip, foodle-pip. All the best.

Cheers then.

Mmm, goodbye.

How many honeymoons have you had?

I don't know and I don't care.

Everything up to now has been a rehearsal for you.

Well, I suppose practice makes perfect.

Oh, come on, honey. You have nothing to be jealous about.

Yet.

Am I really the sixth? Sir Michael the sixth?

Henry was the eighth and they still remember him.

Collecting husbands seems to be a hobby of yours, like collecting stamps.

- Or books. - Well, marriage is like a book.

The whole story takes place between the covers.

You are incorrigible.

Well, I'll look that word up, and if I like what it means,

I'll forgive you.

It means...

that I must accept you as you are. And I do, with all my heart.

Anyway, I shouldn't be showing my emotions this way. After all, I am British.

- Stiff upper lip. - Mmm, you gotta start somewhere.

Oh, God!

- What are you doing here? - What are YOU doing here?

- What do you mean what am I doing here? - Yes, I thought you'd be on television...

- ...denying it. - Denying what?

Denying this.

Has Marlo married a gay caba...?

- What is all this... what...? - Your interview with Rona Barrett.

Somehow you managed to give the impression that you were a little bit, er...

I still don't understand, I mean... what are they talking about?

- It seems queer to me. - That's what they're talking about.

You mean that... they think...

They think that I'm...

Yes, they think that you're a big...

Well, somebody had better set them straight.

You're the one that has to be straight, honey.

You know what this could do to Marlo's image, don't you?

I'll go right down and sort them out.

Go get them tiger!

- Are you trying to get rid of me? - Oh, no...

You're on.

The Russians are coming.

You really want me to go through with this?

Marlo, you know how I feel about you.

Every time another man looks at you I get heartburn.

Never mind, honey. Marlo loves ya.

Marlo loves ya.

- Wait! Unload that box too. - Hey, wait a minute.

What are you d... Oh, no! What's going on?

Mr. Turner, that's the cutout, and we brought some wardrobe there.

And I've got these publicity pictures I must get Miss Manner's approval.

Wait a minute! This is Miss Manner's wedding night, it's her honeymoon.

- I know, I know, I know... - Thanks, very much. Out!

- Wait a minute. What about the studio? - What about the studio?

- Move! - Look, it's my responsibility.

- Dan, I've got to get your okay on this. - I'm a real busy man.

I'll give you the "o" now, come back later for the "kay".

# Honey pie #

# You're making me crazy #

# I'm in love but I'm hazy #

# So can we please go back home #

# Ho-ho-ho-honey pie #

# My position is tragic #

# Come and show me the magic #

# Of your Hollywood song #

# You became a legend of the silver screen #

# And now the thought of losing you # # Makes me weak in the knees #

# What a tease! # # Oh, honey pie #

# You are driving me frantic #

# Sailed across the Atlantic #

# Just to be here with you #

# Oh, you became a legend # # Of the silver screen #

# But now the thought of losing you # # Makes me week in the knees #

# What a tease! # # Oh, honey pie #

# You are driving me frantic #

# Sailed across the Atlantic #

# Just to be here with you # # It makes me happy! #

# Honey pie, just to be here #

# With you #

Ohhh...

Look out, Alexei. I'm going down.

Oh, hiya, George.

Why, Marlo, you look terrific.

I haven't seen you in two years. What have you been doing?

Two years.

Say, I just heard you got married. Congratulations.

Thank you.

Now you let me know if this dude gives you a hard time.

Oh, that's what I'm hoping he'll do.

Well, so long baby, and you take it easy.

I always do.

Well, sports fans, it appears that the Marlo Manners-Michael Barrington...

ball game has been stopped at the goal line.

What the fans are asking is...

is Sir Michael what Marlo thinks he is, or is he a sheep in wolf's clothing?

A gay caballero is the way a London evening paper has put it...

- Ahem! - Oh, uh...

Sir Michael, er... Your ears must be burning.

Do you mind telling me who is responsible for this?

- I'm not a newspaper editor... - Where's the young lady I spoke to earlier?

Oh, she's not here right now, but I'm Gill Stratton,

- I'm a sports sportscaster for CBN. - Oh, how do you do?

How do you do, nice meeting you.

Well, there's obviously one or two things that have to be straightened out.

After reading your interview this morning I can understand.

Yes, an evident misunderstanding.

- You could say that. - You see, I'm a sportsman.

- An athlete. - Oh, that's my bag.

Good! You know, a man's... man.

And a lady's man, too.

- Both? - Certainly.

In fact, you know, at Oxford I was considered to be...

quite a coxswain.

- I beg your pardon? - In '69.

I coxed the entire crew.

- You did? - Hm. First with four oars.

- Four? - And then, later, I coxed with...

- eight oars. - Eight?

Well, it was a bit of a strain but... Yes... I did.

Sir Michael, for our American viewers,

When you say 'oars', do you mean oars...

or whores?

Oars.

An oar is an oar, isn't it?

- Ninotchka, darling. - Mmm... Sexy Alexei.

That's me. Come in, my dear.

- Kinda dark in here. - Just to remind you of those long...

- ...Russian nights. - Mmm.

Well, so much for the candles.

Where are the violins?

Excuse me, my darling. Of course, I'm so nervous. Violins...

I'll say one thing for you, Alexei.

You've got a lot of style.

For you, bubalichki, anything, anything!

You know, Marlo, darling, that I...

can't wait to take you in my arms again.

Uncle Sam is counting on it.

Uncle... Oh, you have an uncle. How nice for you.

What does he do, this uncle?

- Oh, he's a tax collector. - Oh, how nice for him.

- Na zdarovje - And the same to you.

Excuse me.

Here we are, sir. May I come in, sir?

- Thank you. What is your name? - Keith, sir.

- Keith, are you Russian? - No, sir.

Well, perhaps one day you will be.

There will be a few rubles on the bill for you.

Dobryj dyen!

My darling...

Champagne, caviar and cake.

- Terrific. - Marlo, my darling...

Tonight... we relive the past.

You remember that Volga night we spent on the river?

What?

I mean... that night we spent on the river Volga.

Oh, that night.

My bubalichki, my latka.

Marlo, darling, I thirst for your kisses.

I hunger for your caresses.

- I... - Well, then you'd better eat something.

Yes, cake... of course.

As the great Soviet poet Shakespeare said,

If hunger be the music of love, eat it.

Which part you like? The whipped cream?

Cake?

On second thought...

I don't think you should eat that.

Why?

Well, you're a good-looking guy and you don't want to get flabby.

Never! For you, Marlo, anything.

You don't want cake, I don't want cake.

- I get rid of the cake. - Yeah.

Though I love cake, I get rid of it.

The czarina Marie Antoinette said once

Let them eat cake!

Now, Marlo, darling, I'm ready for anything.

Anything!

And I'm coming to get it.

Take your time, honey. Take your time.

Oh, just the man I'm looking for. How did it go?

Actually it went rather well.

Oh, good, good... Now there's someone very special I want you to see.

I happen to have someone rather special that I want to see.

Sir Michael, trust me.

Sir Michael, you know that I would never bring you out here unless it was important.

And this is truly...

Sir Michael, if you'll just step in front of the camera, please.

- No more interviews. - But our viewers are most interested...

to know your plans for your honeymoon.

- I haven't even had my wedding night. - Please, Sir Michael, just 2 minutes.

- That's my wife! - So it is.

- Dan, bring him over here. - She's with another man!

Yeah, how about that. Listen, this interview is going to be broadcast in 300 stations.

Okay, focus on me, go to him. Now, he's ready... just sit down.

Okay, shoot. Now, Sir Michael, er...

our viewers are most anxious to know...

what your plans are for yourself and Miss Manners.

- Er, Lady Barrington. - Lady Barrington, I'm sorry.

Um, what are your plans for your honeymoon?

A little better, Jim. What we need is a little more snap of the wrist.

Okay? I little stretch further back, okay? A little more height, let's go, let's see.

Good, that's good.

Alright, you guys, let's wrap it up. We'll finish up back in the gym.

My darling, Marlo, I'll remember this afternoon forever.

You better had,

because that's all you're gonna get.

- Oh, I gotta go. - But, Marlo, my darling...

Please, wait one minute. Marlo.

- The party's over. - But, please, we've only just begun.

Marlo, darling, sing to me like you used to, please.

We had a deal and I stuck to it.

Oh, Marlo, darling. Wait.

I sing to you, you sing to me, a duet together.

Wer'e not going to duet together.

But, my darling, what will I do after you're gone?

# After I'm gone and left you cryin' #

# After I'm gone there's no denyin' #

# You'll feel blue and you'll feel sad #

# You'll miss the best gal you ever had #

# There'll come a time, # # And don't forget it #

# There'll come a time # # You'll regret it #

# Oh, boy, think what you're doing #

# You know my love for you # # Will drive you to ruin #

# After I'm gone # # After I'm gone away #

# After I'm gone and left you cryin' #

# After I'm gone there's no denyin' #

# You'll feel blue. you'll feel sad #

You'll miss the best gal you ever had #

# There'll come a time, # # Now don't forget it #

# There'll come a time # # You'll regret it #

# Oh, boy, think what you're doing #

# You know my love for you # # Will drive you to ruin #

# After I'm gone # # After I'm gone away #

What a woman!

What the hell is this?

Wow! I've never seen that position before.

Guys, it's Marlo Manners. Hey!

Hey, Marlo! Hey! Hey!

Oh, up to my neck in muscles.

Miss Manners, I'm coach Foreman.

On behalf of the United States Athletic Team...

may I say it's a great honor to have you here.

The pleasure is all mine.

All right, fellows, we got a meet tomorrow. Let's get back to work.

Now, Miss Manners, maybe you'd like to meet the team.

Wow! What do we have here?

That looks heavy.

I lifted twice as much in the Olympics, Miss Manners.

- Did you get a medal? - No, I got a hernia.

Oh, that's too bad. Better give that a rest.

Did you hear that, Ricky?

- What do you do? - I'm a pole vault.

Oh, aren't we all?

Which one of you guys throw the spear?

- You mean the javelin, Miss Manners? - Yeah, the javelin.

- That's me. - Mmm, I'd sure like to see your javelin.

Sure, I'll go get it.

Oh...

Excuse me, Miss Manners, would you mind stepping over here for a minute?

I'd like to get another shot with you and the boys.

That's perfect, Miss Manners.

Wow, all this meat and no potatoes.

What are you trying to do, give me competition?

All right, boys, hold the pose. Right!

Thank you!

Hey, Miss Manners, this is or mascot, this is Ricky.

- Hiya, Ricky. - Hi, Miss Manners, pleasure to meet you.

Hey, guess what, today's his birthday. He's 21, how about that?

- Oh, you're a big boy now. - Well, not as big as the others.

It's not the size that counts, it's the quality.

Miss Manners, I've always been a fan of yours.

Oh, thank you.

# Tonight's the night #

# I've waited for #

# Because you're not just my fan anymore #

# You've grown into the biggest boy # # Beneath the sun #

# Happy birthday 21 #

# What happened to that baby life #

# That made you blush when you asked # # For my autograph #

# You're old enough to get my key # # And have some fun #

# Happy birthday 21 #

# When you were only 12 #

# You wrote me a letter #

# When you were sweet sixteen # # I liked you even better #

# When you were twenty # # I only had to wait one year #

# But now you've grown up # # Your future is sewn up #

# You can do more than bloat # # And drink beer #

# If I should smile # # With sweet surprise #

# It's just that you've grown up # # Before my very eyes #

# You've turned into the biggest boy # # Beneath the sun #

# Happy birthday 21 #

Oh...

Well, everything goes up for Marlo.

Goodbye, Miss Manners. I'ts been great. Thank you.

Oh, Marlo. Where've you been?

- Oh, working out with the boys. - You got a date upstairs.

- Yeah, with my husband. - No, no, no. With Laszlo.

- Oh, that husband. - Yeah, he's waiting to do the screen test.

- On my wedding night? - That's show business.

Guess so.

How did it go with Alexei?

- A piece of cake. - Good!

- With a cassette in it. - A cassette? You don't mean your memoirs?

- Right in the lion's mouth. - The lion's mouth? I don't understand.

Well, I'll tell you, but you're not gonna believe it.

Would you mind telling me in simple language...

just what the hell I'm supposed to be doing here?

Sir Michael, you gave the impression you were a little ah-ha-ha, we've got to change that.

When I'm finally allowed to be with my wife I will change ah-ha-ha...

into hm-hm-hm-hmm!

You know it but the public doesn't know it.

This is a private matter between Marlo and myself.

No, it's a public matter between Marlo and 50 million fans.

You're just the man I want to see.

Listen. The American Athletic Team is in here.

We'll get some shots, in the morning paper the problem is solved.

Bring your camera. Hello boys!

Well, wall to wall men.

Marlo, darling, you look so exquisite!

My idol! The divine Marlo Manners.

Rise, Cartwright, rise.

Miss Manners, I once had the pleasure of working with you on one of your films.

- The pleasure was a pleasure. - Good, you two know each other.

Yes, I had a small role in one of Miss Manner's pictures.

Oh, you had a big role as I recall.

Well, it was a small role, but as the movie went along...

thanks to Miss Manners it got bigger and bigger.

- When was this? - Oh, by the time you and I were separated.

Marlo, you little devil. Now I find out who it is. It was you!

That's okay, Danny.

Now we start the scene with a big close-up on the back of your head...

Hey, that's terrific. How do you do that?

It's... it's all in the jerk.

Wow, that's some jerk.

He must be doing this on his wedding night.

Cartwright test, take 12. Action!

My darling, I want you. I must have you.

I followed you all the way here to your secret apartment.

- Limehouse. - Cut! Cut!

Look at her, not the camera, you fool!

The way you got the camera doesn't show my best feature!

We can't get the camera inside your pants!

Move the camera! Don't give me an argument!

- Camera! - Rolling!

- Cartwright test, take 13. - Action!

I followed you all the way here to your secret apartment in Limehouse.

Cut! I feel no strength, no emotion!

Let's pick it up from "It means my life."

And it does! Sound!

- Camera! - Rolling!

Cartwright test, take 14.

I'm terribly sorry, old boy. What's next?

I don't give a damn about my life, or my soul.

- Only my career! - Cut! Cut! Cut!

- Why don't you shoot him with a 35? - I'd like to shoot him with a 38.

- Who found this idiot? - You did, sir!

- Okay, let's go again. Roll it! - Cartwright test, take 15.

- What's the word? - What word, sir?

- The word, what's the word? - Action?

Action! Action!

It means my life! I had to find you!

My records stood for a short time in the long jump.

And rather longer in the shorter events.

Better watch it, sir, or you'll wind up bouncing right out that window.

- Yeah, like that cassette. - What cassette?

I don't know. It was here when Miss Manners came down.

She seemed pretty interested in it. And it went scooting right out that window.

- Oh, really? - Straight into the lion's mouth.

That's better? Let it go! All right!

Now think of yourselves as two lovers lost on a desert island...

in the middle of nowhere.

Just the two of you alone.

And you take her in your arms and you whisper passionately.

If there's no one around, why does he whisper?

Marlo, darling, I'm just trying to help the boy.

Okay, this time I'll show you.

- You are giving me a reading? - No, I am giving you a job.

Out.

Darling, I know you belong to another.

But your husband can never love you the way I love you.

And you'll never love your husband the way you love me.

That's how it should be done!

- I don't feel it that way! - I don't care how you feel it...

just feel it any way you can, but do it!

That was my wife.

Oh, I kiss your hands, your arms, your eyes, your mouth.

I bury my face in your soft, snowy bosom...

and melt away the snow with the fire of my...

lips.

You're not the same chap who was here a minute ago.

- Michael! - Darlng, I do wish you'd make up your mind.

Who are... you?

I happen to be this lady's husband.

I cannot make love to a woman while her husband is in the room!

No, of course you can't.

How terribly foolish of me, do forgive me.

We'll soon take care of that.

Bravo!

This is just a test scene. We're only playacting.

- It seems rather realistic to me. - How can you say that?

This man, he has no fantasy, no poetry.

In fact, he acts like an opera singer.

And that's no way to make love to Miss Marlo Manners.

- And who the hell are you? - Sir, I'm Laszlo Karolny.

Husband number six, meet husband number four.

A pleasure!

Right, the test is over. Get this out of here!

Well, my darling, I must leave you.

As ever, it's been a pleasure.

And you'll always have a place in my heart.

And you, you are a lucky man. And I should know.

Forgive I should mention it.

Do you know, when your wife was my wife?

Your wife was some wife.

I only hope my wife is your wife...

like your wife was my wife.

You know what I mean?

Do you think it's possible we might really be alone, at last?

I'll just slip out of this costume.

I say, darling, I don't want to seem fussy.

But this is our wedding night and I am the groom.

Now, why is it that every time I see you you're with another man?

Oh, that was just a test. Now it's the real thing.

What about the man I saw you with on the balcony?

Who was that?

Alexei. He was one of my ex-husbands.

Is that what I'm to become? Another ex-husband?

That depends on how you shape up, honey.

The night is still young.

Oh, dear. I really have had a good workout.

That gymnasium has the most wonderful equipment.

Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Darling, I...

I think I've pulled a muscle.

Don't worry, honey. I'll straighten it out for you.

Oh, bed!

At last!

Now, let's take the vote once more.

Se�or Fernando Alvarado de Mendoza.

S�.

Monsieur Romain de Tr�ves.

Oui.

Alexei Andreiev Kerenski.

Da.

Dan!

That is great. I'll tell Marlo. Ten-four.

Ohh!

Flower shop. Yes, sir?

Two dozen... yes.

Uh, red or white?

Can I help you, sir?

- Miss Manner's suite. - And who shall I say is calling?

Give me the number to Miss Manner's suite.

I'm afraid we're not allowed to give that information out. I...

The bridal suite, sir.

Uh-huh... That'll be 12 pounds please.

I'll have them sent up right away.

Brown! Boys, porter, anyone!

- Mr. Johnson, what's the matter? - Look!

Oh, get some rest, honey, 'cause you're gonna need all your strength.

- Who is it? - It's me, Dan. I got to talk to you.

- Oh, you gotta be kidding. - Marlo, this is urgent.

What do you think this is, chopped liver?

Marlo, please!

- What do you want? - Marlo, I've got bad news.

- Bad news? Get lost! - No, it's Vance.

What about him?

Remember the week and a half you were a widow?

- Yes. - You weren't.

- What are you getting at? - Vance Norton is still alive.

- What? - Yeah!

You're crazy. He's six foot under.

Six hundred feet, you mean. He's in the lobby.

- Oh, no! - Yes!

- What are we gonna do? - Well, er... start worrying.

What's that?

It ain't opportunity.

- Shall I let him in? - Yeah, you better let him in...

or he'll kick it in.

- I'll let him in. - Let him in.

Hello, Vance.

Hello, crumb.

Hello, baby.

Long time no grab.

Mmm, it's like seeing a ghost, only you're dressed better.

Mmm, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

You're looking great, sweetheart.

Am I glad to see you.

Why did you wait so long, Vance?

- Why didn't you let me know before? - I couldn't, sweetheart.

There was too much heat. Couldn't take the chance.

Everybody thought I went bye-bye.

- I was better off dead. - You still are.

You I am not glad to see.

You know, when I read you were gonna marry this limy I sent you a telegram...

- One word. Don't. - I never got a telegram.

- With the wedding there were so many telegrams... - What's the difference?

I'm here now.

I really go for this guy, Vance.

I'll break every bone in his body.

I'll still go for him.

Sweetheart, you're still my wife.

I never heard nothing about no divorce.

Well, when I heard you were dead...

I don't think I went through with it.

Sure, you were too broken up.

I sure was.

I went around in black for two whole weeks.

And when I played the piano, I only played on the black keys.

Marlo, are you sure that you didn't go through with the divorce?

- I don't know. - Oh, please!

- I don't remember. - Oh, please try to remember.

It's very important. Marlo, it's very important.

Marlo, you mean to say you don't remember if you divorced me?

Listen, I remember buying a new gown, but I don't remember sending it to the cleaner's.

- Wait a minute. Your memoirs! - Right!

- Your life is on that tape. - And it's in the lion's mouth.

- I'll get the tape. - Hold it. What's all this talk about tape?

Look, do you want to find out whether you're the husband or the deceased?

If anybody's gonna be deceased, it ain't gonna be me.

Vance, maybe you're wrong. Have you ever thought of that?

Uh... okay, okay, you're right.

But in order to prove you're right we've got to get the tape.

- So we get the tape. - That's what I said.

Tonight, baby...

we're gonna make up for a lot of lost time.

Don't hold your breath.

It's this way, superman.

- Where's, uh, this here lion? - Down here.

- You mean them? - Yeah.

- Which one? - He didn't say.

I think maybe you oughta take a little look-see.

Okay.

I... wait a minute. Why me?

I ain't messing up these studs.

Oh... oh, it's very high. I don't like heights.

- If I wear elevated shoes, I get dizzy. - Don't worry. I'll hold on to you.

That's what's worrying me.

Ugh... Oh, my goo... no, no... No, I can't reach it from here.

- You want that tape, don't you? - Yes!

No, ahhh!

- Can you find it? - No! I'm looking, I'm looking!

Don't let me... Oh, it's later than I thought!

- Ooohhh! - Hey!

Yes? I'm... Can I help you?

Hey! This is all I need!

You remember the day Marlo and I got married?

- What about it? - You borrowed 100 bucks to tip the preacher.

- 100 bucks, what are you talking about? - You never paid me back.

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't remember no 100 bucks!

I remember! Pull me up! Watch where your hands are going!

What about them other lions?

Let them feed themselves. I've had enough.

- So am I married to Marlo or ain't I? - Anything you say, Vance.

Anything you say.

- Good evening, milord. - Christopher, how are you?

And has the Secret Service given any thought to the Conference menu?

I thought perhaps oysters.

- With cassette? - Of course.

- And the delicate's dish? - I don't know. Something light.

And for dessert, how about g�teau � la tape Napol�on?

- Splendid! - We'll put it in the filling.

- How about this? - Excellent.

- I knew you'd like it. - Always at your service, Sir Michael.

Always willing to oblige.

Good evening, Fredric Ambrose here, outside the Conference room.

The historic state dinner has just begun.

And now, at last, our television cameras...

have been allowed into the top secret conference,

where, it would seem, the exchange of native dishes is going swimmingly.

Gott! Pig's feet!

- With my compliments! - This is not kosher.

- Cow. I don't like. - Hey, please, may I ask, what is this?

- Octopus. - Octopus! Oh...

- For this you can stick your oil! - And you can stick your wheat!

Zbigniew was right. These people are nuts.

Would you like to try some guefilte fish, sir?

No, thanks, I'm doing fine.

Gentlemen. Gentlemen, please!

We're losing the whole spirit of this dinner.

Now, let's show our appreciation...

for the beauty that can be found in other cultures and other ways of life.

Oh, waiter, this is simply delicious. What is it?

Monkey rump, sir.

You stick with your French food!

From harmony and accord,

it would seem that the summit conference has completely collapsed in chaos.

- Well? - No.

We couldn't find it.

Marlo, we just couldn't find it.

Are you kidding? I saw it go up there myself.

Well, it's not up there now. In fact...

I'm very lucky to be here. I need a drink.

What is this, some sort of gag?

Of course it's a gag! That's what I do every night.

I crawl around on the roof tops...

to get my exercise. That's how I keep in shape.

Will you stop already!

Then there's no way of proving whether I'm married to him or to him.

Right.

Is him in there?

Yeah.

- Oh, what's him doing? - Sleeping.

On your wedding night?

What happened, the ceremony a little too much for him he had to take a little lie down?

I think I'll throw this joker out the window.

And then you and I can get on with the ball game.

Oh, how do you do?

This I don't believe.

I'm sorry, darling. I must have dropped off.

Still, nothing like a little nap to freshen one up, so I'm all fit...

- ...and ready to go. - Terrific!

Not with my wife.

Of course not, old boy. With mine.

Take your arm off her. Or I'll take it off at the elbow.

Oh, don't tell me! Not another.

Husband number six, meet husband number five.

Five.

You're no number six, you're zero.

I'm sorry, honey, I thought he was dead.

He seems to have made a remarkable recovery.

But my dear fellow, Marlo and I were married this afternoon.

- I hereby declare that marriage annulled. - I'll have my lawyers take care of that.

Well, I'll have my boys take care of your lawyers.

- Well, what do we have here? - My own creation, sir.

I call it the cake of peace.

I do think it would take more than that to hold this conference together.

On the contrary, sir. As we British say, a piece of cake.

A piece of cake.

Happy birthday to you.

Gentlemen, a piece of dove.

And what is this tape doing here?

Holy cow! Look at this!

- Hey, my tape. - Hey, my job.

- What's it doing there? - I can't imagine. Very odd.

- Is that the tape? - Yeah, that's it.

Vance! Oh, Vance!

Vance, where are you going?

Vance, what are you gonna do? Marlo, we better get down there.

Vance. Hey, Vance, wait up!

Excuse me. Marlo... Gentlemen.

Relax, boys, he's with me.

Marlo Manners!

Hiya, boys.

Hiya, Marlo!

- How are you, Alexei? - Magnificent.

- How are you doing, Fernando? - Great, Marlo, great.

- Romain, you're looking good. - Thank you very much, Marlo.

Now, you guys have got something that belongs to me.

So if you don't mind, I'll take that tape.

Miss Manners, if this tape is so vital,

I think this conference should be given an opportunity to hear it.

Hear it! Hear it! We all want to hear it!

Order, order, gentlemen, please.

I think it's unanimous that we agree to hear the tape.

Unanimous! Unanimous!

If the lady don't want the tape played, the tape don't get played.

Freeze! Hold it! Don't move!

Drop!

I'm sticking up the world.

Stick 'em up, world!

Okay, let's have the tape. Move it along.

- Move! - Thank you.

- Come on, baby. - Hold it, Vance.

Il capo di tutti capi.

Con permisso.

Godfather...

amico di tutti poverini...

Un amico per tutta la mia vita.

Senti, per piaccere, per tutta la famiglia...

per mi sorella, mi bambini, mi...

mi padre, mi mamma.

Io non voglio sentire questa tape.

Per Mario, per Irving!

Per mozzarella marinara.

Senti per la pi�...

pi� importante cosa del mondo.

Per Sicilia.

Il capuccino.

Io sono finito...

Uh?

The tape... it will be played.

Grazie.

Ecco.

Here you are, Mr. Chairman.

Fernando Mendoza, Minister of Finance,

he was getting so many kickbacks he developed a pain in his hussy end.

Wilhelm Von Clausemeyer.

He was in the arms racket,

first my arms, then the arms of the police.

He bribed his way up by selling Poland secret plans of the Swiss Navy.

And then there was Romain. He did so many deals under the table...

nobody knew what his hands looked like.

And finally Vance, my fifth husband.

I was in Reno and I had just gotten my divorce when I heard he had been killed.

You see, Vance, I divorced you before you were killed.

Okay.

Boys, I don't know much about politics...

but I do know a good party man when I see one.

I got enough on you guys to start a war.

So, if you don't get together, I may have to take over.

# Remember, all of you used to tell me #

# Baby face # # You got the cutest little baby face #

# There's not another one # # Could take your place #

# Baby face #

# My poor heart is jumpin' # # Remember, Alexei? #

# I remember # # Baby face #

# I'm up in heaven when I'm in # # Your fond embrace #

# I didn't need a shove #

# I just fell for your oh... oh... face #

# You've got the cutest little baby face #

# Oh # # You've got the cutest little baby face #

# You've got the cutest little baby face #

# Mmm # # You've got the cutest little baby face #

# It's all on the tape, fellas #

# Baby face #

# I'm up in heaven when I'm in # # Your fond embrace #

# I didn't need a shove #

# I just fell for your oh... oh... face #

# You've got the cutest little baby face #

# You've got the cutest little baby face #

# You've got the cutest little baby face #

# You got a baby face # # You've got the cutest little baby face #

# You have got a baby face #

# You've got the cutest little # # You've got the cutest little #

# You've got the cutest little #

# Mmm, come up and see me some time #

# The sooner the better #

# Baby face #

Michael, everything's okay.

I'm not married to Vance, I'm married to you.

- Michael. - Miss Manners.

Sir Michael left about 5 minutes ago.

He ordered you this champagne and left you this note.

Oh, thank you.

My dearest Marlo,

by the time you read this I shall be on my yacht...

sailing on our honeymoon without you.

I have the feeling that I'm one husband too many for you...

so perhaps it's just as well if I bow out gracefully.

I just want you to know that I wish you every happiness...

and leave you with my love.

Ever yours, Michael.

Look, whatever it says, Miss Manners, I wouldn't worry about it.

This is Lady Barrington. I'm checking out.

Would you have someone come up to help me pack, please?

Thank you.

# Next # # He blew his chance with you #

# Next # # Lost you to someone new #

# Next # # There goes his plans for two #

# Right down the drain # # His loss is someone's gain #

# Like a cake of dynamite #

# He blew up Miss Marlo's wedding night #

# He was too proud to play a part #

# Of a sextette playing love in your heart #

# So let him sail on with the show #

# 'Cause through your life, Marlo, # # Men come and go #

# Marlo, he only hurt himself #

# Just like you found him # # You'll find someone else #

# He blew his chance with you #

# Lost you to someone new #

# There goes his plans for two #

# Right down the drain # # His loss is someone's gain #

# Another day, another scene #

# Another moment on the silver screen #

# Another love has come and gone #

# Another change of cast # # While life goes on #

# Life's too short for looking back #

# The curtain's rising on the seventh act #

# 'Cause new love awaits # # Right around the bend #

# Another story with a happy ending #

# It's someone else's turn # # Next, next #

# Too late to show concern # # Next, next #

# He had to lose to learn #

# Chances go by # # His loss is someone's find #

Mmm!

Lady Barrington, bon voyage.

Mmm, likewise, I'm sure.

Marlo... Oh, hello, Alice.

Marlo! Marlo, you did it. You're gonna be woman of the year.

They just signed the peace pact. You just saved the world.

Yeah? Well now I'm gonna save my marriage.

Where are you going? Where's Sir Michael?

- On his yacht. - Oh!

And I gotta get there before it sails.

Uh, Marlo, listen, I've got something very important to tell you.

Sir Michael is one of England's top secret agents.

He's bigger than OO7.

I never got a chance to take his measurements.

Marlo, he's the one who planted your tape in the conference meeting.

Don't you understand? Marlo, he's a big undercover man.

I wouldn't know. I never had him under the covers.

- But you will. - I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Love can keep us together...

Think of me, babe...

Whenever...

This is Marlo Manners...

aboard the honeymoon yacht of Sir Michael Barrington.

Husband number six.

When the others turn you off...

Who'll be turning you on?

You will, you will, you will!

Hi.

You are incorrigible.

You're wrong. I looked it up. It means incapable of being corrected.

And there's nothing between us that can't be straightened out.

Well, I certainly take my hat off to you.

Mmm, you'll have to take off more than that, honey.

You know, darling, you've done more for your country...

than Paul Revere.

Well, I'm looking forward to saying the same thing he said.

Mmmm...

The British are coming, mmm.

Subtitles: Lu�s Filipe Bernardes

# Marlo, the female answer to Apollo #

# As lovely as Venus de Milo #

# A living dream #

# Marlo, you hold the promise of tomorrow #

# For you're the rainbow that we follow #

# Across the silver screen #

# Marlo #

# Some vital instinct and your heart goes #

# You sort of chase away sorrow #

# With some whimsical line #

# Marlo #

# I'd sell my soul for you to borrow #

# If I could only make you mine # # Make you mine, make you mine #

# Make you mine #