Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:23,322
[Man] Mars surface ops,
this is Houston. We're go for data.
3
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:27,693
[Man #2] Copy, Houston. Base pedal
temp good. Remote pedal actuator good.
4
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:32,264
Probe primary and auxiliary
transponders a-okay.
5
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:34,867
Shunt voltage three zero.
6
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:39,938
[Man #1]
D.S.N. uplink rate is now 61.101.
7
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:42,107
Copy. We'll see if we
can better that for you.
8
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:44,309
This is the probe's
9
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,645
We need all the data we can get.
10
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:51,750
Uh, standby.
We're getting a low current level here.
11
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:55,421
Voltage is down to, uh, 185.
12
00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:59,224
[Man #2]
Here's our rock, fellas. One-one-niner.
13
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,493
- Beautiful.
- There it is again. There it is again.
14
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,797
Voltage down to 113.
15
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,965
- Can you repo the solar arrays?
- [Man #2] Uh, negative.
16
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:09,301
M.P.C. load is critical.
17
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:11,570
- [Beeping]
- Mars surface ops, we're losing the signal.
18
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:14,740
- We're losing the signal here!
- [Crackling]
19
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:19,812
Roger that.
Transmission terminated.
20
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:22,848
- Well, people, congratulations.
- [Smattering Of Applause]
21
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:26,285
We collected data
on over a dozen new rocks.
22
00:01:26,352 --> 00:01:31,423
I'd say this was five years
and three trillion dollars well spent!
23
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:35,494
[Cheering]
24
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:39,832
[Brakes Screeching]
25
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,534
[Horn Honking]
26
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:55,714
[Tires Squealing]
27
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:10,629
[Grunts]
28
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:15,267
[Grunts]
29
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:20,339
Come on, gentlemen, keep up with me.
I want an exclusive...
30
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:22,508
with that policeman who was
in the Santa Barbara shootout.
31
00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:24,576
- I'll take it.
- Glad you could make it, O'Hara.
32
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,212
Prescott, it's yours.
Take Harrison and camera car five.
33
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,548
I want it for the 6:00.
It's no good at 10:00. You got that?
34
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:32,584
- It's no good at 10:00.
- What are you, a parrot? Get movin'.
35
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:36,188
I want footage of that 1st Monument Bank
that got knocked off down in Oxnard.
36
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,257
- I'm all over it.
- Van Gundy?
37
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,492
- Sir! - And get that security camera's videotape,
you got that?
38
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,728
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- No tape, no story.
39
00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:45,497
You got it, boss.
Whatever you say, boss.
40
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:49,935
I like Van Gundy. I need something on
that shuttle launch tonight at Vandenberg.
41
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,437
- Well, that's me. I know Vandenberg, chief.
- Chief?
42
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,040
Who are you, Clark Kent?
FFelix, it's yours.
43
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,576
Get interviews
with all the top brass involved.
44
00:02:57,644 --> 00:03:00,846
Oh, take Brace with you. It's a good
story for her to cut her teeth on.
45
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,750
Brace? Are you sure? Because I usually
produce Brace's on-camera segments.
46
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:08,587
We're a team. I mean, we're more
than a team. Brace and I are--
47
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,356
You and my daughter are what?
48
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:19,364
- Um, nothing.
- That's right.
49
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:22,267
I didn't send Brace to all those
fancy English boarding schools...
50
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:25,737
to wind up with the likes of you.
51
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:29,975
Oh, O'Hara, I've got something here
that's right up your alley.
52
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,312
A senior citizens' tanning contest
being held tomorrow at Sunset Pier.
53
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:36,415
The Hawaiian Tropic Senior
Cocoa Butter Classic.
54
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,984
- Huh?
- [Reporters Laughing]
55
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,220
I want footage
of all the old farts baking,
56
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:45,757
an interview with the doctor on
the dangers of sunbathing, yadda, yadda.
57
00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:50,629
Something to fill time
if my idiot weatherman runs short.
58
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,934
Mr. Channing? Mr. Channing?
Excuse me. Sir?
59
00:03:56,002 --> 00:04:01,006
You hired me because I had ten years'
experience as a newspaper reporter.
60
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,977
Now, I will go to the ends of the Earth
to bring you a great story.
61
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:08,180
But I need the chance.
62
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:13,252
You know, Tim, when I look at you,
I see myself at your age.
63
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:16,188
- Really?
- And I was a moron!
64
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,658
- Huh.
- But you got a lot of nerve, O'Hara, and I like that.
65
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,327
Sometimes.
Okay, it's yours.
66
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,796
- B-B-B-But you said--
- Shut up, Felix.
67
00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:27,132
You won't-- You won't regret this, sir.
You really won't.
68
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,603
O'Hara! You screw up this Vandenberg
thing, you're fired. Is that clear?
69
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,940
Yeah.
Crystal.
70
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,009
[Man Over Loudspeaker]
Attention, all personnel.
71
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,311
We are T minus five minutes
and counting.
72
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:42,214
We're here at the Vandenberg Air Force
Base, where for the first time,
73
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,783
- Cut. Brace?
- The shuttle Atlantis will be launched...
74
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,686
- Sweetie, could we lose the gum?
- Billy!
75
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,788
Excuse me, Sergeant.
76
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,890
- [Spits]
- I love show business.
77
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,226
Yeah, okay. Everybody back
to one, please. Here we go.
78
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:59,331
Same thing.
In five, four, three, two--
79
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,400
We're here at Vandenberg Air Force Base.
80
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,802
- We're here at Vandenberg Air Force Base,
- Where just minutes from now,
81
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:07,806
where just minutes from now,
the shuttle Atlantis will be launching for the first time...
82
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,908
- on the west coast.
- I understand that Project Deadhead...
83
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:14,212
I understand that Project Deadhead
is carrying a sophisticated satellite...
84
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,983
- to study the Fiona comet.
- To study the Fiona comet.
85
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,053
Yes, the satellite has
a specialized guidance system...
86
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,523
which will allow it to pass
closer to the comet than ever before.
87
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:26,591
Yeah, yeah.
Is Jerry Garcia on board?
88
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,860
What?
89
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:32,164
Is Jerry Garcia on board?
90
00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:35,867
Is Jerry Garcia on board?
91
00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:39,171
- Well, yes, actually.
- Yes!
92
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:41,907
Project Deadhead
gets its name from the fact...
93
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:45,610
that its payload includes
the ashes of famous rocker...
94
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,746
Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead.
95
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,915
How in the world
did you know that?
96
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,784
- It's my job to know that.
- It's my job to know these things.
97
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,487
Well.
98
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:04,029
[Cheering, Applause]
99
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:17,409
- Okay, Lizzie, go to Brace.
- [Cheering Continues]
100
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:20,112
All right, Brace, here we go.
The big wrap-up.
101
00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:23,382
- And so, on this the night of the Fiona Comet,
- And so, on this,
102
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:26,118
the night of the Fiona Comet,
our thoughts turn...
103
00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:29,654
to that satellite's only passenger--
Jerry Garcia.
104
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:33,925
- I'm Brace Channing--
- I'm Brace Channing for KGSC.
105
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:36,261
- Thank you, Captain Dalton.
- Thank you.
106
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:40,799
- God, you're beautiful.
- God, you're beautiful.
107
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:45,437
- [Gasps]
- Thank you. So are you.
108
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,606
[Exhales]
And we're out.
109
00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:51,877
- Tim, I'd like a word with you.
- And I'm dead.
110
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:56,648
- Colonel?
- Yes?
111
00:06:56,716 --> 00:07:00,185
- You might want to take a look at this, sir.
- The Fiona Comet?
112
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,321
- So what?
- It's changing direction, sir.
113
00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:06,491
That's impossible. Are you sure it's not
the trajectory of our own satellite?
114
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:10,162
Yes, sir. Uh, the comet's
just changed direction again, sir.
115
00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:12,597
- It's gotta be the equipment.
- I've got down line confirmation.
116
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:15,767
No, sir. Our backup computers
verify all systems go.
117
00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:18,670
It's-- It's coming down, sir.
118
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:22,674
- The satellite?
- No, sir. The comet.
119
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,843
Okay, let's go to general alert.
120
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,945
- Major, scramble the F-16s.
- Yes, sir!
121
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,114
- Sergeant, get SETI group on the line.
- Copy that.
122
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,284
Showtime, boys.
We got ourselves a U.F.O.
123
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:35,987
Excuse me.
124
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:39,458
- What's this?
- It's Capt. Dalton's telephone number.
125
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:42,561
Well, he's not really my type, but--
126
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,230
- You made me look such an idiot.
- Brace, come on.
127
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,400
- Let me explain.
- Just wait until I tell my daddy.
128
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,036
- No, Br-- Brace, come on!
- Billy!
129
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:53,138
- Wait a minute! Look, I--
- Nice knowin' ya.
130
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,841
Ooh-hoo.
Let us know where you end up.
131
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:58,510
- [Sighs]
- It wasn't a complete disaster.
132
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,846
Oh, compared to what?
133
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,914
- The Hindenburg?
- [Chuckles]
134
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,750
Titanic.
I'm sorry, pal.
135
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,153
[Chuckles]
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
136
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,455
Sorry.
137
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,868
The blues kept knockin'
upon my door
138
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,870
- [Radio Stations Changing]
- [Voice On Radio] Get your nose up! Pull up!
139
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:27,939
I said up, not out of joint!
140
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,243
We're goin' down!
141
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:34,579
- Mayday! Mayday!
- Oh, not another ticket.
142
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,781
[Engine Roaring]
143
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:47,592
- Whoa!
- [Tires Squealing]
144
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:51,997
[Electronic Bleeping]
145
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,542
[Breathing Heavily]
146
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,480
[Gasps]
147
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,815
- [Tires Screeching]
- Aaah!
148
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,618
Are you crazy?
You could have totalled my car!
149
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,720
- Did you see it? Did you see it?
- See what?
150
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:17,889
[Stammering]
There was a crash. A plane or some--
151
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,958
It was like a stealth fighter!
I don't know!
152
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:23,828
- It happened so fast!
- Oh, my God, a plane crash!
153
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:27,299
Well, that's terrible!
We don't even have any video!
154
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:30,068
Good! It's over here.
155
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,804
- [Brace] Tim, wait for me!
- Humans.
156
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:37,242
- Wait, not so fast! It's my story too, remember?
- [Electronic Beeping]
157
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:46,017
- [Tim] What was that?
- [Brace] Hmm? What was what?
158
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,587
It was this flicker, this--
this light that--
159
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:51,590
- Never mind.
- What, Tim?
160
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:54,659
Tim, wait!
Oh, my heel!
161
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:57,662
These are really expensive shoes,
you know!
162
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:03,034
- [Gasps]
- [Breathing]
163
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,203
Come on, Tim, where is it?
164
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,440
It was this huge thing!
It was this--
165
00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:12,177
You know, it's really creepy out here.
166
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:15,580
[Grunting]
Ow!
167
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,318
Tim?
168
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:24,289
- You've got 30 seconds and I'm leaving!
- Hmm.
169
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,359
[Mumbling]
170
00:10:29,595 --> 00:10:32,063
[Groans]
171
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,299
- Look at this.
- [Screams] What's that?
172
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,002
I don't know.
I-I-- I don't know.
173
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:40,972
- Is this your idea of a joke? - No, I swear to
you-- look at-- I mean, this thing was huge.
174
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,976
Oh, really? And I thought
you were one of the normal ones!
175
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:48,079
- [Alien Breathing Heavily]
- I am one of the normal ones, normally.
176
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,515
[Scoffs]
Ha ha ha.
177
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:54,219
[Scoffs]
Nice try, Tim.
178
00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:58,356
You and me, alone on the beach, on
the night of a lunar eclipse, no less.
179
00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:01,393
- I didn't make this up!
- Keep this as a memento of our last date.
180
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:04,095
Last date?
We haven't even had our first date!
181
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:06,731
- [Engine Starting]
- Well, consider this both.
182
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,634
- Brace? Brace!
- [Tires Screeching]
183
00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:14,172
[Grunting]
184
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,042
[Grunting]
Ahh.
185
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:21,179
Nurplex.
Ay-yi-yi-yi mmm!
186
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:31,690
[Car Sputtering]
187
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:39,898
[Inhales Deeply]
Humans.
188
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:42,967
- Come on, come on, come on.
- [Engine Sputtering]
189
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:51,476
- Savages!
- [Car Sputters, Turns Over]
190
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:11,796
[Backfires]
191
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:19,337
[Car Sputtering, Backfiring]
192
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,419
- Tim!
- Aaah! Mrs. Brown.
193
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:37,255
- Too much lipstick?
- Uh, well,
194
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,858
no, no, no, no.
195
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:43,128
No, it's just that you, uh...
196
00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,330
kind of appeared, that's all.
197
00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:47,665
I saved you some
of my special brownies.
198
00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:50,001
Mrs. Brown, brownies. Get it?
[Chuckles]
199
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,103
- Yes! That's good.
- There you go.
200
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:54,706
- Thank you very much.
- [Chuckles] Did you see the eclipse?
201
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,642
Wasn't it tr�s magnifique?
202
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,011
- Those French tapes are really paying off, aren't they?
- Oh, you noticed.
203
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,380
- [Chuckles] Thanks for the brownies, Mrs. Brown.
- [Chuckles]
204
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,984
Oh, Tim.
I wanted to remind you...
205
00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:08,686
about the charity rummage sale
this weekend.
206
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:11,556
If you have anything you want to donate,
leave it in the garage and I'll pick it up.
207
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,992
Well, trust me, this will be
right on top of the pile.
208
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:17,662
- Ahh.
- Good night, Mrs. Brown.
209
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:22,000
One more thing I wanted to tell you,
Tim! Oh, good night, Tim!
210
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,636
[Sighs]
211
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,651
I'm havin' a bad night.
212
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:42,520
I couldn't agree with ya
more completely.
213
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:45,990
- Shut up.
- How do you do it?
214
00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:49,227
- [Answering Machine Beeps]
- O'Hara here. Please leave a message. Make it short.
215
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:53,998
- [Answering Machine Beeps]
- Channing here. You're fired.
216
00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:56,367
- Short enough for ya?
- [Receiver Clicks]
217
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:59,737
What more can I say?
When you're right, you're right!
218
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,274
[Wheezing]
219
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:08,413
[Coughing]
220
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:22,260
[Electronic Whirring]
221
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:28,199
[Gasps]
Hmm.
222
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:41,279
[Groans]
223
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:50,221
[Gasps]
Stay where you are, little Earth man,
224
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:52,423
and no harm will come to you.
225
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:55,994
Say, I wish I'd thought of that!
226
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:59,797
- [Tim] Hello?
- What more can I say? When you're right, you're right!
227
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:02,433
- Be silent.
- How do you do it?
228
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:05,103
I thought I told you to shut up.
229
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:07,739
I couldn't agree with you more--
[Muffled]
230
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:10,341
You leave me no choice.
231
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:13,711
Who's there?
I got a gun!
232
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:30,828
Static.
[Groans]
233
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:51,482
- Hey, buddy. Hey. Hey.
- [Moans Softly]
234
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,851
- Hey! [Grunts]
- That's it, Earthling!
235
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:58,556
- [Grunting]
- It's alive!
236
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,826
Hyah!
237
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:05,330
Okay, you wanna play games?
238
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:09,400
- Slide through.
- I must be going... [Grunts] nuts.
239
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:13,137
[Laughs]
One strike, no balls.
240
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:16,374
Over here, Tiger Woods.
[Chuckling]
241
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,676
[Blows Raspberry]
Aaah!
242
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:23,848
- Hey, look-- Jimmy Hoffa.
- Leisure suit from hell!
243
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,718
[Whimpering]
244
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:31,189
- I'm gonna...
- Ohh!
245
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:33,424
Mutilate you!
246
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:40,431
Come on!
Show your face... if you have one.
247
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,904
Where-- Where'd he go?
248
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:54,412
What the heck
was in those brownies?
249
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,081
When dealing with primitive life-forms,
250
00:16:57,149 --> 00:17:00,051
sometimes one must
resort to primitive acts.
251
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:03,054
- Are you okay, Zoot?
- [Coughing]
252
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:06,457
If you don't mind my asking, where were you?
This alien was trying to kill me!
253
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,226
Don't be such a wet blanket.
254
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:11,396
Wait a minute.
Leave my mother out of this!
255
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,564
It's your fault we ended up
on this no-good, carbon-based,
256
00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:16,701
- over-oxygenated, miserable excuse of a--
- [Knock On Door]
257
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,970
- [Woman] Tim?
- Oh, no. It's another one!
258
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,773
I know you're not asleep yet.
259
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,075
Tim, it's Lizzie!
260
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,444
[Gasps]
Blotz! It's Lizzie!
261
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:28,546
What's a Lizzie?
262
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,482
I would say a Model T Ford,
but this one has better tires.
263
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:35,119
- Ah-ooga! Ah-ooga!
- I know what a woman is, but what do I do with it?
264
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:38,756
Help, Mr. Lifeguard, I'm drowning.
I need mouth-to-mouth.
265
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:41,225
Ugh, saliva exchange.
266
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:43,961
I would never partake
in such an unsanitary interaction.
267
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:46,431
There must be some other way
to greet a female and then be rid of it.
268
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:48,499
- [Knock On Door]
- Tim! - [Gasps]
269
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,902
If it was me, I'd be he.
270
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:54,172
- Tim, please.
- Good thinking, Zoot.
271
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:15,993
Okay, Tim,
I'm picking up the hide-a-key.
272
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:21,933
- Gonna open the door.
- [Key Turning]
273
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:26,270
- Tim?
- Lizzie!
274
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:28,473
My dear friend or family member.
275
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,975
Uh, oh, my gosh.
276
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,978
Oh, inappropriate.
277
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:39,150
- Oh, boy.
- [Zoot] I told you they cover their flingdat here.
278
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:42,286
Lizzie, my dear friend
or family member.
279
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:44,555
You sound funny.
Are you catching a cold?
280
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,858
A cold, a virus?
[Deep Voice] Yes.
281
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:49,393
[Voice Changing] A contagious
bubonic plague. You better leave.
282
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,196
What? What in the world--
283
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:55,333
Are-- Are you a Trekkie?
284
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,469
Uh, yes, I am.
285
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:01,005
Okay, what's going on?
286
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,908
- What's going on?
- Tim, are you okay?
287
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,310
- You don't seem like yourself.
- Oh, I'm Tim, all right.
288
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:09,547
- Tim O'Hara, no reason to doubt it.
- Uh, what's going on?
289
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:12,083
Lots.
290
00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:19,824
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
291
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:27,565
- Lizzie.
- Yeah?
292
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,668
If you're my sister,
an explanation is in order.
293
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,938
[Chuckles]
Yeah.
294
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,674
- Does this mean that you and I are--
- Indeed.
295
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:40,511
- Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do, and you...
- What?
296
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,747
- Need... to go.
- Huh?
297
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:45,983
Wha--
298
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,956
- Human emotions.
- Crazy monkeys.
299
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:58,296
[Humming]
300
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:03,100
[Siren]
301
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:16,280
- [Beeping]
- [Chattering]
302
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,851
Welcome, sir.
303
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,589
Where's Coleye?
304
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:28,993
Examining mucus-type protoplasm.
305
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,731
Hmm. It's saline-based.
306
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:37,001
Good God, Coleye,
put that on a slide next time.
307
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,471
I want this stuff analyzed
and the cigarette dusted for prints.
308
00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:44,709
- I want to know whose this was.
- There's more, sir.
309
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:49,780
[Coleye]
Quadroped becomes... biped?
310
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:52,783
It must have taken human form!
311
00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:55,286
The footprints stop at the road.
312
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:57,421
We think someone
may have picked them up.
313
00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:59,924
Evidence of a crash,
314
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:02,526
no spaceship and alien
in human form?
315
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,129
It's just like the incident of '64!
316
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,765
Keep your mouth shut, you idiot.
317
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,134
That incident is not only classified,
318
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:12,870
but it never happened, you got it?
319
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:16,774
- Yes, sir.
- Once again, we have no alien, no U.F.O.
320
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:19,143
If you can't get me either one,
321
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:21,279
then you'd better start
looking for another job.
322
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:24,048
Well, you heard him! Move it!
It's out there somewhere!
323
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,150
- So, move it! Go! Move!
- Yes, sir!
324
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:30,354
And God help the poor soul...
325
00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:32,857
who picked him up.
326
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,835
[Screams]
327
00:21:44,903 --> 00:21:46,904
Silence, subculturer!
328
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:51,175
- Let me down!
- Look what you did to me. Barbarian!
329
00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:53,544
- Let me down!
- As you wish!
330
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,314
- [Electronic Buzz]
- [Screams, Crashes]
331
00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:58,549
[Grunts]
332
00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:03,754
For a thief,
you are extremely clumsy.
333
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:07,358
- Thief? I'm not a thief.
- So I see.
334
00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:10,394
Tim O'Hara.
You are a reporter.
335
00:22:10,462 --> 00:22:13,064
Reporter? No.
I'm a producer, pal!
336
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:16,434
- Let me tell ya, I-- Aaah!
- [Electronic Buzzing]
337
00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:20,404
Look, I didn't steal anything, okay?
I don't know what you're talking about.
338
00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:23,074
- All right, all right.
- [Electronic Buzzing]
339
00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:26,210
No! No!
[Coughing]
340
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:29,380
Warning, Tim O'Hara. Any attempt
to expose me will be useless.
341
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:33,384
Martians use 100 % of their brain
capacity, humans less than 10.
342
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:38,255
- I think we use more than ten.
- Your astronauts pee in their space suits.
343
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:41,425
Case closed.
344
00:22:43,161 --> 00:22:45,296
[Grunting]
345
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,798
Okay. Okay, just--
346
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:52,136
[Electronic Whirring]
347
00:22:55,006 --> 00:22:58,642
Whoa!
348
00:23:04,349 --> 00:23:08,285
Okay, it's just a dream.
It's a very bad dream.
349
00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:13,391
[Panting] Just-- Come on.
Wake up. Wake up!
350
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:15,993
What's with that?
351
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:20,264
- I believe it's called a nervous breakdown.
- Last night did not happen.
352
00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:23,567
- I don't believe in aliens.
- I heard that!
353
00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:27,304
To us, you are the alien.
354
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:30,141
If you must know,
I am from the planet you call Mars.
355
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:34,278
- And what, I'm from Uranus? I never--
- I was getting to you!
356
00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:36,514
Don't get a crease in your Sputnik.
357
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:38,783
[Zoot] Please,
just introduce me to monkey boy.
358
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:42,953
This is my Zoot.
359
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:46,657
- A polymorphous Zootenex 3,000.
- Just look, don't touch.
360
00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:50,127
- Your suit talks?
- [Scoffs] Incessantly.
361
00:23:50,195 --> 00:23:52,196
Corduroys talk,
nobody gives them grief.
362
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:54,298
- [Zoot] Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
- Mars? Wait a minute.
363
00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:58,269
[Stuttering] There's no life on Mars.
We've sent probes.
364
00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:01,939
I'd try to explain it, but you people
still think "E" equals "MC" squared.
365
00:24:02,007 --> 00:24:06,143
- You're still trying to analyze our rocks. Ha-ha!
- [Hydraulic Hissing]
366
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:09,847
Oh! Blasted sand particles.
367
00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:13,117
They've completely crystallized
the vortex generator.
368
00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:15,653
- Hey, do you mind? - [Knock On Door]
- [Mrs. Brown] Tim!
369
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,488
- [Gasps]
- Now what?
370
00:24:17,556 --> 00:24:19,957
- Thank God, an eyewitness.
- Eyewitness? Negative.
371
00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:24,195
- You must tell no one. - No offence,
but your ship is double-parked in my living room.
372
00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:26,730
You're the biggest story
in the history of mankind!
373
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,500
There is intelligent life
out there in the universe!
374
00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:31,335
I hope you're not including yourself
in that statement!
375
00:24:31,403 --> 00:24:34,171
Tim, listen, I'm sorry to bother you
so early in the morning,
376
00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:36,240
but I got a hold of your mail,
and I wanted--
377
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:39,910
Could you just-- please, come here.
Take a look at that!
378
00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:42,913
[Tim]
Aaah!
379
00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:47,918
Tim, you definitely need a maid!
Oh, hello!
380
00:24:50,121 --> 00:24:54,992
- Greetings.
- Oh, I'm sorry to catch you in your... pyjamas.
381
00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:58,762
- Pyjamas? [Muffled]
- [Stammering] Where's the spaceship?
382
00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:01,398
- [Mrs. Brown] Spaceship?
- Right here.
383
00:25:01,466 --> 00:25:04,435
Oh, for the rummage sale!
Does it come with an action figure?
384
00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:07,438
- You're looking at him.
- [Chuckles] Oh. I don't believe we've met.
385
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:10,541
- No, don't touch him! He's a Martian.
- Tim, what's going on?
386
00:25:10,609 --> 00:25:12,610
- [Stuttering]
- I beg your-- Mart-- Martin?
387
00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:15,246
- Yes. Martin.
- No, no, no, no!
388
00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:17,715
- He's a-- uh--
- Uncle!
389
00:25:17,782 --> 00:25:21,051
- Martin.
- Oh.
390
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,221
- Well, it's a pleasure to meet you.
- He turns invisible, okay?
391
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:26,290
His suit talks--
he's got a talking suit.
392
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,392
He's got these things that
pop out of his head-- You just--
393
00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:30,928
- Show her. Go ahead. Come on, give her the finger.
- Tim!
394
00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:35,399
No, I didn't mean that.
I don't know what I mean. Forget it.
395
00:25:35,467 --> 00:25:38,469
You'll have to forgive Tim, Mrs. Brown.
He lost his job last night,
396
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,571
and he's experiencing
a nervous breakdown.
397
00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:42,806
Oh, poor dear.
398
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:44,909
- I hope it doesn't affect the rent.
- [Laughing Hysterically]
399
00:25:44,976 --> 00:25:47,945
- Don't worry, I'm here to look after him.
- Ha!
400
00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:51,882
He's very lucky to have
an uncle like you in his life, Martin.
401
00:25:51,950 --> 00:25:55,753
And you, Mrs. Brown, are like a brilliant
quasar in the black hole of my day.
402
00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:59,056
Oh! Call me Lorelei.
403
00:25:59,124 --> 00:26:01,992
Lorelei.
The sound of...
404
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:06,096
pure mountain spring water
from the centre of the Earth.
405
00:26:06,164 --> 00:26:08,899
Oh, my.
[Chuckles]
406
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:16,006
- [Slurping]
- [Stammering]
407
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:19,009
Oh!
[Chuckles]
408
00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:22,680
I obviously misconstrued a custom.
I apologize.
409
00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:26,116
I'm from... New York.
410
00:26:26,184 --> 00:26:29,086
No, actually, it's--
[Stuttering] It's fine.
411
00:26:29,154 --> 00:26:32,823
[Stuttering]
It's perfect. [Sighs]
412
00:26:32,891 --> 00:26:35,759
- Oh, brother.
- Oh, Martin?
413
00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:37,828
Yes, Lorelei?
414
00:26:37,896 --> 00:26:43,801
Um, Mr. Brown... passed away
several years ago.
415
00:26:43,868 --> 00:26:48,806
- I thought you might like to know that.
- Hmm.
416
00:26:48,873 --> 00:26:52,610
Au revoir.
[Chuckles]
417
00:26:52,677 --> 00:26:54,645
Hmm?
418
00:26:54,713 --> 00:26:57,214
Just for the record,
a handshake will do for me.
419
00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:59,316
[Scoffs]
You think that I actually enjoyed...
420
00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:01,518
tasting that female's exoskeleton?
421
00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:05,489
[Shudders] I merely used my data on
your primitive species to determine...
422
00:27:05,557 --> 00:27:07,958
the optimum way
to avoid suspicion.
423
00:27:08,026 --> 00:27:11,629
- Yeah, but what's the optimum way to get home?
- [Scoffs] Blotz!
424
00:27:11,696 --> 00:27:16,133
I don't know, Zoot. Where on this
barbaric swamp of a planet...
425
00:27:16,201 --> 00:27:19,470
can we find the makings
of an electron accelerator?
426
00:27:19,537 --> 00:27:22,539
- [Zoot] Maybe your new girlfriend has one.
- Oh, that's very funny.
427
00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:25,976
Excuse me. Fellas,
I don't mean to interrupt, but...
428
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:31,181
I-I, you know, I think I might be able
to help you find that electron thing.
429
00:27:31,249 --> 00:27:32,983
We're toast.
430
00:27:33,051 --> 00:27:35,819
I don't believe this.
You really think you can...
431
00:27:35,887 --> 00:27:37,888
repair your ship
with all this junk?
432
00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:40,257
Everything has been carefully chosen
for its potential to fashion...
433
00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:42,893
a crude vortex electron accelerator.
434
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:45,929
Except for this.
A pooper scooper.
435
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:48,732
I have no idea what it does,
but it's fascinating.
436
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:53,337
Excuse me. Where are your
nuclear implosion couplers?
437
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,839
For a garden hose?
438
00:27:57,642 --> 00:28:00,577
I'm never going to get off
this infernal planet.
439
00:28:00,645 --> 00:28:02,846
[Zoot]
The I.Q. of a pancake.
440
00:28:02,914 --> 00:28:04,948
You're right. Humans are truly
the amoebas of the universe!
441
00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:07,618
Yeah, this from a guy
who talks to his tin foil suit.
442
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:10,788
- Hey, what was that for?
- It wasn't me, it was Zoot.
443
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:14,958
- [Zoot Laughing]
- Come here a sec.
444
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:17,761
Listen, you've been on Earth,
what, all of ten minutes?
445
00:28:17,829 --> 00:28:20,264
- It's not so bad here.
- [Chuckles] That's what Neenurt said.
446
00:28:20,331 --> 00:28:24,234
- Who?
- Exactly. One of my planet's most gifted scientists,
447
00:28:24,302 --> 00:28:26,904
and now he's gone without a trace.
448
00:28:26,971 --> 00:28:30,774
He arrived on Earth in 1964, and, I presume,
was abducted by your government.
449
00:28:30,842 --> 00:28:32,976
I shudder to think what they did to him
in the name of science.
450
00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:37,314
- What are they laughing at?
- [Laughing] Hey, space man!
451
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:40,451
- I've been discovered!
- [Electronic Buzz] - [Gasps]
452
00:28:40,518 --> 00:28:43,053
- [Grunting]
- Sorry about that.
453
00:28:43,121 --> 00:28:44,822
- Oh, my--
- What happened?
454
00:28:44,889 --> 00:28:47,157
They don't know anything.
They were just making fun of your--
455
00:28:47,225 --> 00:28:50,661
Making fun. I'm one of
the best-dressed beings on my planet.
456
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:52,763
[Man]
Yo, Elvis! Nice suit.
457
00:28:52,831 --> 00:28:57,101
Well, Dorothy, I hate to tell you this,
but you're not in Kansas any more.
458
00:28:57,168 --> 00:28:59,269
[Zoot] That's great.
The minute I turn my back,
459
00:28:59,337 --> 00:29:01,772
you're getting into
someone else's pants!
460
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,908
[Martin] I need to blend in, and you stand
out like a putt stick at a blackbell convention.
461
00:29:04,976 --> 00:29:06,977
[Zoot] I should have known
by the way you've been gawking...
462
00:29:07,045 --> 00:29:09,113
at every T-shirt
and sweat pant we pass.
463
00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:12,516
- Don't come apart at the seams!
- Why is Zoot always the last to know?
464
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:14,952
- All right, all right, all right!
- [Zoot Sobbing]
465
00:29:15,019 --> 00:29:18,856
- Martian footage, take one.
- Zoot, this is tearing me apart too.
466
00:29:18,923 --> 00:29:21,759
[Zoot]
I know I'm not what I used to be.
467
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:24,661
I mean, a stretch mark here,
a line stain there.
468
00:29:24,729 --> 00:29:27,030
[Zoot Sobbing]
469
00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:30,701
[Screams]
470
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,504
- Hey!
- Pervert!
471
00:29:33,571 --> 00:29:36,607
It's not safe
for a woman around here!
472
00:29:36,674 --> 00:29:38,742
I'm ready to blend in now.
473
00:29:43,281 --> 00:29:46,617
- Outstanding.
- Martin, that outfit looks ridic--
474
00:29:46,684 --> 00:29:49,386
- Stylin', bro!
- Thanks, bro.
475
00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:51,488
[Chuckles]
Real cool.
476
00:29:51,556 --> 00:29:53,557
I've got the touch on two planets.
477
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:55,959
I gotta get out more.
How did your Zoot take the--
478
00:29:56,027 --> 00:29:58,328
Zoot, he's highly intelligent.
He understands.
479
00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:01,865
Aaaah!
You used me, you buttonhole!
480
00:30:01,933 --> 00:30:06,036
- Go and have your fling. Colours fade! You'll see!
- [Knock On Door]
481
00:30:06,104 --> 00:30:08,472
- Hello?
- Huh? Oh, incoming.
482
00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:11,275
Hello?
Man.
483
00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:14,711
Oh, geez!
484
00:30:14,779 --> 00:30:17,514
Talk about a tacky suit!
485
00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:19,583
- [Chuckles]
- Tacky, huh?
486
00:30:21,586 --> 00:30:24,454
Hey! Hey! What?
487
00:30:26,758 --> 00:30:29,927
- Now turn the other cheek.
- [Slapping Sound] - Ow! Hey!
488
00:30:29,994 --> 00:30:33,630
- [Shudders, Exhales]
- Catch you later, Spanky.
489
00:30:35,466 --> 00:30:37,835
[Exhales]
490
00:30:37,902 --> 00:30:40,170
All right, I'm bustin' out!
491
00:30:40,238 --> 00:30:42,272
- There.
- Go ahead, try 'em all on.
492
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:45,742
See if I care.
Whoa!
493
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:49,413
If love is a crime, lock me up!
494
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,517
I'm guilty.
Look at her.
495
00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:56,186
A perfect size six,
496
00:30:56,254 --> 00:30:59,857
and never been worn!
497
00:30:59,924 --> 00:31:04,228
Darling, don't speak.
Just come to me. [Chuckles]
498
00:31:04,295 --> 00:31:08,065
Oh, this is crazy.
I'm a polymorph, and you're a polyester.
499
00:31:08,132 --> 00:31:11,134
Yes, you're synthetic,
but I like that in a girl!
500
00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:13,871
Give me some thread, baby!
[Kissing Sounds]
501
00:31:13,938 --> 00:31:17,274
- Oh, what's this, Velcro? Ohh!
- Zoot!
502
00:31:17,342 --> 00:31:20,110
Ah! No, thank you, little girl,
I don't want to buy any cookies!
503
00:31:20,178 --> 00:31:23,547
You lecherous leotard!
Have you no shame?
504
00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:26,750
Look who's talking,
Mr. Clothes Horse!
505
00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:30,821
Now, in you go, or you'll take
a long walk on a short hanger.
506
00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:32,923
Coming in for a landing!
Flaps down!
507
00:31:32,991 --> 00:31:36,894
- [Flatulent Sound]
- I said bag it, mister!
508
00:31:36,961 --> 00:31:40,397
All right, all right, you don't
have to throw me in the hamper.
509
00:31:40,465 --> 00:31:43,967
[Grunting, Speaking Gibberish]
510
00:31:44,035 --> 00:31:46,236
Dork.
511
00:31:48,673 --> 00:31:51,608
- Next time, the dry cleaner.
- Bite these.
512
00:31:51,676 --> 00:31:54,645
[Gasps]
You-- Blasted nurplex!
513
00:31:54,712 --> 00:31:59,182
Oh, Venus, Neptune!
514
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:01,818
- Help me, Tim!
- Mm-hmm.
515
00:32:01,886 --> 00:32:04,621
Tim, it's a little blue one!
516
00:32:04,689 --> 00:32:07,357
No!
Give me that,
517
00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:10,027
you age-impaired little blotz.
518
00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:12,129
Mine! Gum!
519
00:32:12,196 --> 00:32:15,499
- Mine! Nurplex!
- [Blows Raspberry]
520
00:32:15,566 --> 00:32:19,703
- [Roars]
- [Screams]
521
00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:23,373
[Screaming Continues]
522
00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:26,043
Why wouldn't you give
the kid a piece of gum?
523
00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:29,613
[Scoffs] Okay, sure, right.
Here, have one.
524
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:31,949
- Come on, let's go. No, no, come on.
- What are you doing?
525
00:32:32,016 --> 00:32:34,184
- What are you doing?
- Trust me.
526
00:32:34,252 --> 00:32:36,119
- Not the finger! Don't do the finger!
- Try some.
527
00:32:36,187 --> 00:32:38,555
- Why?
- You don't want to try Martian gum?
528
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:42,859
- No, not particularly.
- Afraid, Earthling?
529
00:32:49,901 --> 00:32:52,536
You know what, that is not bad.
530
00:32:52,603 --> 00:32:57,507
- The centre's got a nice little zing to it.
- Notice anything different?
531
00:32:57,575 --> 00:33:00,377
Hmm, no.
No, not really.
532
00:33:00,445 --> 00:33:03,647
What time do you have?
533
00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:05,716
Aaaah!
534
00:33:05,783 --> 00:33:08,819
[Gasps]
Aaaah!
535
00:33:08,886 --> 00:33:12,055
- [Gasps]
- Spit, spit, spit.
536
00:33:12,123 --> 00:33:14,758
[Groaning]
537
00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:20,364
- [Groaning Continues]
- Everything okay in there?
538
00:33:20,431 --> 00:33:24,267
- Zipper trouble.
- Yeeow.
539
00:33:24,335 --> 00:33:26,937
[Breathing Heavily]
540
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:30,240
This "gum", as you call, allows me to take on
the outward appearance of a human being.
541
00:33:30,308 --> 00:33:32,342
On you, it has the reverse effect.
542
00:33:32,410 --> 00:33:35,445
Oh, so that's what you
really look like.
543
00:33:35,513 --> 00:33:38,548
Don't be disgusting.
That was Fluvian Nurplex.
544
00:33:38,616 --> 00:33:41,585
- Oh.
- We carry many different planets.
545
00:33:41,652 --> 00:33:46,723
If you think that was bad,
this is Veenox Seven.
546
00:33:46,791 --> 00:33:50,861
- Oh, well, that's--
- Don't ever mess with a Veenox Seven.
547
00:33:50,928 --> 00:33:54,698
When it comes to Veenox Seven,
just say no.
548
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,071
Me man got fire
549
00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:03,907
Me so on fire
feeling hot, hot, hot
550
00:34:03,975 --> 00:34:06,810
All right, come on, the rest of you,
come on up on stage!
551
00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:10,313
The sun, while you can get it.
The sand, the surf.
552
00:34:10,381 --> 00:34:13,383
Usually, the beach conjures up
images of our youth,
553
00:34:13,451 --> 00:34:17,721
but come on down to Sunset Pier today,
and your contraceptions of--
554
00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:19,956
- Preconceptions!
- Contraceptions.
555
00:34:20,024 --> 00:34:21,892
- Preconceptions!
- Felix!
556
00:34:21,959 --> 00:34:24,327
I said preconceptions!
I swear, preconceptions!
557
00:34:24,395 --> 00:34:27,964
- Billy! Billy!
- Preconceptions! I know I said preconceptions!
558
00:34:28,032 --> 00:34:31,134
I should listen to my parents
and be a doctor. I hate this!
559
00:34:31,202 --> 00:34:33,770
- Ooh!
- [Gasps]
560
00:34:33,838 --> 00:34:36,606
- Are we still rolling?
- Nobody said "cut."
561
00:34:36,674 --> 00:34:39,509
- Feeling hot, hot, hot
- What do you think?
562
00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:41,611
I think your bathing suit
should have a top.
563
00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:44,247
[Stammering]
Cut! Cut! Cut!
564
00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:47,851
- [Grunting]
- Felix!
565
00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:50,287
[Sighs]
Felix is toast.
566
00:34:50,354 --> 00:34:53,090
If Tim doesn't get here soon,
we could all be looking for work.
567
00:34:53,157 --> 00:34:58,528
[Chattering, Indistinct]
568
00:34:58,596 --> 00:35:02,265
Wait here.
569
00:35:02,333 --> 00:35:04,334
What is the meaning
of this divergence?
570
00:35:04,402 --> 00:35:07,370
- I gotta see some friends.
- Negative! Exclamation point.
571
00:35:07,438 --> 00:35:10,207
We're wasting valuable time.
My ship must--
572
00:35:10,274 --> 00:35:13,944
Look at that!
573
00:35:14,011 --> 00:35:16,179
Do you have any idea
how fortunate you are?
574
00:35:16,247 --> 00:35:19,382
The only water we get back on Mars
has to be squeezed from rocks.
575
00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:22,786
- Well, surf's up, dude.
- Tim, I'm so glad you came.
576
00:35:22,854 --> 00:35:25,489
- Hurricane Brace hit again.
- Oh, okay. Uh, Martin?
577
00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:27,858
- I gotta go. I'll be right--
- Lizzie!
578
00:35:27,925 --> 00:35:30,327
How nice to see you again.
579
00:35:30,394 --> 00:35:33,396
- Have we met?
- Of course!
580
00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:36,666
Not. How nice to see you again
for the first time.
581
00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:39,402
I'm Tim's Uncle Martin.
582
00:35:39,470 --> 00:35:44,608
- Oh, I--
- [Rumbling]
583
00:35:46,277 --> 00:35:48,812
- I, uh--
- [Rumbling Continues]
584
00:35:51,949 --> 00:35:56,052
- What was that?
- I must find nourishment.
585
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,889
- That came from your stomach?
- Stomachs.
586
00:35:58,956 --> 00:36:02,225
Oh, he is-- [Chuckles]
He is such a kidder.
587
00:36:02,293 --> 00:36:04,561
Listen, I'll be with you
in couple minutes, okay?
588
00:36:04,629 --> 00:36:07,230
You just-- I'll be right over.
Tell her to--
589
00:36:07,298 --> 00:36:10,066
We gotta get you-- ah!
590
00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:13,170
[Stomach Rumbling]
591
00:36:14,438 --> 00:36:16,606
Excuse me, could I have
a double dip--
592
00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:19,109
actually, make that a triple dip,
chocolate chip, please.
593
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:22,946
- Yes, sir. - Tim, I need nourishment,
not coloured buckets of frozen lard.
594
00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:26,216
Look, this is very nutritious food here on Earth.
We eat this for breakfast.
595
00:36:26,284 --> 00:36:29,853
Tim, you don't need to try poison
to know that it kills.
596
00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:33,023
Here, take this.
597
00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:35,725
Give me five minutes, okay?
I have to go to the news van.
598
00:36:35,793 --> 00:36:38,862
[Groans]
Blecch!
599
00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:42,432
- [Brace] Felix!
- I said "preconceptions", I swear! Preconceptions!
600
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:46,469
You unprofessional little man! All you have
to do is come up with the dumb things I say!
601
00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:48,939
[Felix Groaning]
602
00:36:49,006 --> 00:36:54,077
- Billy!
- Brace! Brace!
603
00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:57,914
- You'd rate this tantrum?
- About a seven-five on the Brace scale.
604
00:36:57,982 --> 00:37:02,819
- I'll talk to Felix.
- You never told me about your uncle.
605
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:05,488
Are you--
606
00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:09,426
Look, I'm glad you beeped me. We really
need to talk. This is really big.
607
00:37:09,493 --> 00:37:11,995
- I know.
- You do?
608
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:14,464
Yes. Look, I've been thinking, and...
609
00:37:14,532 --> 00:37:18,401
our friendship really means a lot to me,
and I don't want to screw that up.
610
00:37:18,469 --> 00:37:20,770
- Okay.
- So I think it would be better...
611
00:37:20,838 --> 00:37:24,941
if we just pretended that nothing
ever happened between us last night.
612
00:37:25,009 --> 00:37:27,911
- What happened last night?
- Exactly!
613
00:37:27,979 --> 00:37:30,313
I'm not sure I understand what--
614
00:37:30,381 --> 00:37:32,482
Me either.
615
00:37:37,488 --> 00:37:40,724
I guess we're both a little confused,
huh, Tim?
616
00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:47,530
- [Gasps]
- Easy, easy.
617
00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:51,368
I thought you were her. She's terrible,
Tim. How did you last so long?
618
00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:53,470
She's a little high-maintenance,
but she's okay.
619
00:37:53,537 --> 00:37:58,308
- Oh, lust is blind.
- Do we still have that hidden camera stuff somewhere?
620
00:37:58,376 --> 00:38:02,779
You're sitting on it.
Why?
621
00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:05,482
- Here, let me help you with this.
- Would you please?
622
00:38:05,549 --> 00:38:08,518
- These words are way too big.
- Huh? Humidity?
623
00:38:08,586 --> 00:38:11,221
- Hot.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
624
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,623
[Announcer]
Wave for everybody!
625
00:38:13,691 --> 00:38:18,695
By God, if I were only 40 years older,
I'd be right there with 'em!
626
00:38:18,763 --> 00:38:21,331
[Muttering, Indistinct]
627
00:38:21,399 --> 00:38:23,400
- [Man] Miss Channing?
- Hmm?
628
00:38:23,467 --> 00:38:27,137
- Could I have a word with you, please?
- Okay.
629
00:38:29,073 --> 00:38:32,309
I've already signed it.
630
00:38:33,644 --> 00:38:36,012
Come on, who are you guys, huh?
631
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:40,216
[Gasps, Muffled Screams]
632
00:38:47,925 --> 00:38:49,926
Okay, guys, you're all set.
633
00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:52,028
- Where's Brace?
- I don't know. She took off.
634
00:38:52,096 --> 00:38:54,564
She quit!
And her dad gonna blame me!
635
00:38:54,632 --> 00:38:56,900
Hey, what's going on
over there?
636
00:38:56,967 --> 00:39:00,870
- [Crowd Clamouring]
- Uh, Billy, put that in my car.
637
00:39:00,938 --> 00:39:03,173
- I gotta go.
- Call me!
638
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,442
Martin!
639
00:39:09,914 --> 00:39:12,716
[Gulping]
640
00:39:12,783 --> 00:39:16,052
- [Gasps]
- [Martin Shouting]
641
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,122
- I like it!
- Martin!
642
00:39:22,927 --> 00:39:27,197
Tim, you're here!
You've got to save me from myself!
643
00:39:27,264 --> 00:39:32,736
It's intoxicating.
Ooh, cookie dough!
644
00:39:32,803 --> 00:39:36,773
- I need to get you back to the home!
- [Gurgling]
645
00:39:36,841 --> 00:39:39,576
All they give him there is Jell-O.
There we go.
646
00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:43,747
[Muttering, Indistinct]
647
00:39:43,814 --> 00:39:46,216
Cookie dough!
648
00:39:46,283 --> 00:39:50,387
[Crowd Clamouring]
649
00:39:56,327 --> 00:40:00,497
[Beeps]
650
00:40:00,564 --> 00:40:03,066
Martian footage, take two.
651
00:40:05,503 --> 00:40:07,670
[Groaning]
652
00:40:08,706 --> 00:40:12,108
[Groaning Continues]
653
00:40:12,176 --> 00:40:14,744
- Chubby Hubby hangover, huh?
- [Groans]
654
00:40:14,812 --> 00:40:17,013
[Tools Clattering]
655
00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:19,816
I swear, I'll never
touch that stuff again.
656
00:40:19,884 --> 00:40:22,786
One scoop's too many,
and a million aren't enough!
657
00:40:22,853 --> 00:40:26,156
So, how's it coming, anyway?
658
00:40:26,223 --> 00:40:28,425
Oh, I converted a blow dryer,
two elastic bands...
659
00:40:28,492 --> 00:40:31,594
and an Acme Bug-Away insect bomb...
660
00:40:31,662 --> 00:40:33,663
into a temporary electron accelerator.
661
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:36,166
- Is it working?
- Not at all, but on the positive side,
662
00:40:36,233 --> 00:40:38,301
your garage is now cockroach-free.
663
00:40:38,369 --> 00:40:41,037
Blasted rental!
664
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,540
- This is a rental, is it?
- My regular ship is in the shop...
665
00:40:43,607 --> 00:40:46,176
for its mid-millennium tune-up.
666
00:40:46,243 --> 00:40:48,778
Where's your, uh, you know,
your suit, Zoot... thing.
667
00:40:48,846 --> 00:40:52,182
Oh ho, washing up.
668
00:40:52,249 --> 00:40:54,851
- Owwww! Spin me, mama!
- ["I Feel Good"]
669
00:40:54,919 --> 00:40:57,720
So nice, so good
670
00:40:57,788 --> 00:41:00,156
Five more minutes, Zoot,
then into the dryer.
671
00:41:00,224 --> 00:41:03,493
You're bringing me down, man!
672
00:41:03,561 --> 00:41:07,964
[Groans] What I wouldn't give
to shed this grotesque human facade...
673
00:41:08,032 --> 00:41:12,035
and let the cool Earth waters
caress my Martian skin.
674
00:41:12,102 --> 00:41:15,472
- Oh!
- So why don't you?
675
00:41:15,539 --> 00:41:18,007
Why not, indeed?
676
00:41:18,075 --> 00:41:21,044
- ["I Feel Good"] - Move over, Zoot!
- Martin, I meant--
677
00:41:21,111 --> 00:41:24,147
I meant out in the hot tub, out back.
It would be private, by yourself.
678
00:41:24,215 --> 00:41:27,350
You mean spit out my Nurplex...
679
00:41:27,418 --> 00:41:29,886
and revert to Martian form
right outside your domicile?
680
00:41:29,954 --> 00:41:33,556
- Exactly.
- Oh, do you think that's safe?
681
00:41:33,624 --> 00:41:36,059
Oh, yes, of course it's safe.
682
00:41:36,126 --> 00:41:38,761
- I'll do it!
- Good. Let's go.
683
00:41:38,829 --> 00:41:40,830
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
684
00:41:40,898 --> 00:41:43,199
- Tim? Thanks.
- Yeah?
685
00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:45,268
It's just a hot tub, Martin.
No big deal.
686
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:47,370
I don't mean just that.
I know I must have...
687
00:41:47,438 --> 00:41:50,673
created complete havoc with your
simple life since the moment I arrived.
688
00:41:50,741 --> 00:41:54,310
Anyway, I just wanted to say...
thank you.
689
00:41:57,281 --> 00:41:59,082
[Whooping Excitedly]
690
00:41:59,149 --> 00:42:01,784
Hello!
691
00:42:01,852 --> 00:42:04,687
Hello!
Would somebody please...
692
00:42:04,755 --> 00:42:06,856
come and tell me
what's going on here?
693
00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:12,462
All right, Miss Channing.
694
00:42:13,497 --> 00:42:16,232
Do you know what this is?
695
00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:18,301
This has been
positively identified...
696
00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:20,904
by my team of experts
as your cigarette.
697
00:42:20,971 --> 00:42:24,874
It was discovered
at the site of a U.F.O. crash!
698
00:42:24,942 --> 00:42:27,744
- What?
- And on it are trace elements...
699
00:42:27,811 --> 00:42:31,814
of what we believe
to be alien DNA.
700
00:42:31,882 --> 00:42:35,718
- Alien?
- Oh, don't play dumb with me!
701
00:42:35,786 --> 00:42:38,755
You are an alien...
702
00:42:38,822 --> 00:42:41,724
inhabiting the body of a woman!
703
00:42:43,894 --> 00:42:47,297
A very, very attractive woman.
704
00:42:47,364 --> 00:42:49,299
Oh, please.
705
00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:52,235
Dr Coleye, we've run the tests
on the other cigarette.
706
00:42:52,303 --> 00:42:54,304
It's human DNA.
707
00:42:54,371 --> 00:42:57,607
Oh.
So sorry.
708
00:42:57,675 --> 00:43:02,312
An honest mistake.
So, Miss Channing,
709
00:43:02,379 --> 00:43:04,781
do you have any idea
how alien DNA...
710
00:43:04,848 --> 00:43:07,250
ended up on your cigarette?
711
00:43:07,318 --> 00:43:11,788
I might. First of all,
let's talk about what's in this for me.
712
00:43:11,855 --> 00:43:17,193
The safety of this entire planet
may depend on what you say to me.
713
00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:20,430
There's nothing in it for you!
714
00:43:20,497 --> 00:43:24,033
- [Frustrated Scream]
- Dr Coleye.
715
00:43:24,101 --> 00:43:27,670
May I call you... Doctor?
716
00:43:27,738 --> 00:43:30,673
Think about it.
When this story breaks,
717
00:43:30,741 --> 00:43:35,178
you will be the most
famous scientist in history.
718
00:43:35,245 --> 00:43:39,816
You will be on the cover
of Scientific... whatever.
719
00:43:39,883 --> 00:43:45,188
You will be the man
that proves that aliens exist.
720
00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:50,526
And I will be the woman
who tells the world your story.
721
00:43:52,529 --> 00:43:54,831
We'll do it together.
722
00:43:54,898 --> 00:43:57,834
Okay.
723
00:43:57,901 --> 00:44:04,073
- [Opera]
- [Singing Along]
724
00:44:19,823 --> 00:44:23,593
[Singing Opera]
725
00:44:27,264 --> 00:44:30,867
- Tim?
- [Gasps]
726
00:44:30,934 --> 00:44:33,102
What are you doing up there?
727
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:35,705
[Whispering]
My Uncle Martin's in the hot tub,
728
00:44:35,773 --> 00:44:38,107
and I'm... watching.
729
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:43,012
Oh.
730
00:44:44,248 --> 00:44:47,183
What a strange family.
731
00:44:47,251 --> 00:44:50,887
You can, uh--
You can sleep here.
732
00:44:50,954 --> 00:44:53,623
- You guys do sleep, don't you?
- Oh, most definitely.
733
00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:56,893
Oh, great.
We have something in common.
734
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,062
You're very kind, Tim O'Hara.
735
00:44:59,129 --> 00:45:03,900
- No, just very tired.
- Ohh, enjoy your rest cycle.
736
00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:06,569
- [Electronic Buzz]
- I'll do the same.
737
00:45:06,637 --> 00:45:08,938
I could use a little shut-eye.
738
00:45:09,006 --> 00:45:11,441
- [Sighs] So could I.
- [Light Switch Clicks]
739
00:45:11,508 --> 00:45:14,143
[Yawns]
740
00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:16,913
- Rise and shine!
- Yeah, yeah right.
741
00:45:16,980 --> 00:45:18,981
What's on tap for today, Tim O'Hara?
742
00:45:19,049 --> 00:45:21,150
I feel like a million radix.
743
00:45:21,218 --> 00:45:23,453
Hey, it's still tonight.
You've been asleep for 30 seconds.
744
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:27,090
Thirty seconds?
Wow, I really was tired.
745
00:45:27,157 --> 00:45:29,926
[Martin]
What are we waiting for?
746
00:45:29,993 --> 00:45:33,596
There's a whole metropolis out there
just waiting to be discovered!
747
00:45:33,664 --> 00:45:35,665
[Tim] No, not in the middle
of the night, there isn't.
748
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:38,301
[Martin] I feel like ice cream,
and there's no time like the present.
749
00:45:38,368 --> 00:45:42,739
[Martin]
Hello? Why aren't they open?
750
00:45:42,806 --> 00:45:46,776
- What's wrong with this planet?
- I told you they don't open till 10:00.
751
00:45:46,844 --> 00:45:50,012
- I could be first in line.
- They aren't gonna let you in when they do open,
752
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,249
not after that little stunt
you pulled yesterday.
753
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,754
[Electronic Buzz]
754
00:45:57,821 --> 00:46:02,325
- We call that breaking and entering.
- [Electronic Buzz]
755
00:46:02,392 --> 00:46:06,863
Ah, the smell of moist air.
756
00:46:06,930 --> 00:46:10,800
I'll never forget this.
Your ocean!
757
00:46:10,868 --> 00:46:13,603
Ice cream!
758
00:46:13,670 --> 00:46:16,038
This primitive planet
may not compare to Mars,
759
00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:18,341
but it's not the rotten rock
I thought it was.
760
00:46:18,408 --> 00:46:20,643
Don't look now,
but I think we're being followed.
761
00:46:20,711 --> 00:46:22,812
Impossible.
My acute sensory perception...
762
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:24,881
would have detected that immediately.
763
00:46:24,948 --> 00:46:28,050
[Electronic Whirring]
Now it's working.
764
00:46:28,118 --> 00:46:30,052
Hey! Hey, buddy!
765
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,388
- What are you doing?
- I've been discovered!
766
00:46:32,456 --> 00:46:34,657
- I'm doomed!
- No, no, no, just calm down.
767
00:46:34,725 --> 00:46:36,726
It's probably
just some tourist or something.
768
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:40,329
Besides, even if you did get caught,
you'd probably be, you know, welcomed.
769
00:46:40,397 --> 00:46:43,132
Welcomed?
Tim, where do Earthlings put...
770
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,235
their most beautiful
and rare animals?
771
00:46:46,303 --> 00:46:48,337
If I don't get that spaceship fixed,
I'm finished,
772
00:46:48,405 --> 00:46:50,473
just like Neenurt.
773
00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:53,242
[Zoot] Can you fix it?
'Cause I'm dyin' here.
774
00:46:53,310 --> 00:46:56,045
I need a drink, is what I need.
775
00:46:56,113 --> 00:46:58,181
[Humming]
776
00:46:58,248 --> 00:47:01,050
Yeah.
Downy the hatch.
777
00:47:01,118 --> 00:47:04,921
[Zoot Coughing]
778
00:47:04,988 --> 00:47:08,324
- What was that?
- What in blazes?
779
00:47:08,392 --> 00:47:11,227
- What is it?
- [Beeps]
780
00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:14,263
Oh, blotz!
781
00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:17,366
Zoot, an I.S.S.!
782
00:47:17,434 --> 00:47:19,769
[Screams]
783
00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:23,206
[Screams]
784
00:47:23,273 --> 00:47:25,274
[Tape Rewinding]
785
00:47:25,342 --> 00:47:28,945
- Blasted rental!
- [Tape Rewinding]
786
00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:32,882
- [Tape Rewinding]
- Owww! Spin me, mama!
787
00:47:32,950 --> 00:47:36,519
- So nice, so good
- [Tape Rewinding]
788
00:47:36,587 --> 00:47:42,592
- [Tape Playing At Fast Speed]
- [Opera]
789
00:47:42,659 --> 00:47:45,928
[Chuckles]
Uncle Martin, what are you--
790
00:47:52,436 --> 00:47:54,804
[Phone Ringing]
791
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:57,039
- Tech department.
- [Tim] Hi, it's me.
792
00:47:57,107 --> 00:48:00,142
- Oh, hi.
- What are you doin'?
793
00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:02,879
Uh, research.
794
00:48:02,946 --> 00:48:06,415
Have you ever got into your head how--
how you felt about somebody,
795
00:48:06,483 --> 00:48:10,786
and then something they said or did
just suddenly changed your mind?
796
00:48:10,854 --> 00:48:13,489
Well, yeah, I--
797
00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:15,825
Could you come over?
798
00:48:15,893 --> 00:48:19,128
Please, I really need to see you.
It's important.
799
00:48:19,196 --> 00:48:22,565
Sure. Could you give me
like a half an hour?
800
00:48:22,633 --> 00:48:26,736
- [Sighs] You're the best, Lizzie.
- Okay, see ya!
801
00:48:26,803 --> 00:48:28,804
Oh, my gosh.
802
00:48:28,872 --> 00:48:32,675
[Exhales]
803
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:34,777
[Martin Shouting]
804
00:48:34,845 --> 00:48:38,114
- [Shouts]
- Martin?
805
00:48:38,181 --> 00:48:40,783
- [Growling]
- I'm not like you.
806
00:48:40,851 --> 00:48:43,586
I need more than
twelve seconds of sleep.
807
00:48:43,654 --> 00:48:47,957
All I need is one lousy
electron accelerator...
808
00:48:48,025 --> 00:48:50,026
for a vortex generator.
809
00:48:50,093 --> 00:48:52,795
But can I build it?
No.
810
00:48:52,863 --> 00:48:55,798
You'll do it. You just gotta
give yourself a little time, that's all.
811
00:48:55,866 --> 00:48:59,468
Time! I have no time!
812
00:48:59,536 --> 00:49:01,604
I just discovered
that this blasted rental...
813
00:49:01,672 --> 00:49:04,106
is equipped with an I.S.S.!
814
00:49:04,174 --> 00:49:07,043
- Yeah, what's that?
- Interstellar Safety System.
815
00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:09,979
A detonation mechanism
designed to prevent...
816
00:49:10,047 --> 00:49:13,449
advanced technology
from falling into the wrong hands.
817
00:49:13,517 --> 00:49:17,019
It's timer activates automatically
at the point of a crash.
818
00:49:17,087 --> 00:49:19,689
Okay, wait,
I heard "detonation" somewhere in there.
819
00:49:19,756 --> 00:49:23,492
If I don't take off by 9:00 tonight,
you'll hear a lot more than that.
820
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:27,630
- Uh, how much more?
- [Makes Explosion Sound]
821
00:49:27,698 --> 00:49:30,833
- Uh-huh.
- Lublick.
822
00:49:30,901 --> 00:49:36,038
- Uh, you b--
- [Gulping]
823
00:49:42,112 --> 00:49:44,747
[Belches]
Ahhh!
824
00:49:48,051 --> 00:49:52,088
I know you've done your best
to help me, but it's no use.
825
00:49:52,155 --> 00:49:55,591
[Gasps]
Oh, no.
826
00:49:55,659 --> 00:49:59,562
I'm sinking into
a Martian depression.
827
00:49:59,629 --> 00:50:02,098
Sinking? No, no sinking.
Come on, we gotta go fix this thing.
828
00:50:02,165 --> 00:50:04,333
I'm falling apart, Tim.
829
00:50:04,401 --> 00:50:06,402
Oh, no, you're not.
830
00:50:06,470 --> 00:50:09,772
- [Sobbing]
- Come on.
831
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:13,175
- Yes you are.
- On Mars, when we get depressed,
832
00:50:13,243 --> 00:50:17,546
we literally fall apart!
833
00:50:17,614 --> 00:50:20,182
- [Screams]
- Okay, no problem.
834
00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:22,752
Don't move, don't make it
any worse than it already is.
835
00:50:22,819 --> 00:50:25,755
- What we're gonna do is we're gonna
put you back together. - [Screams]
836
00:50:25,822 --> 00:50:28,891
Does it screw in?
It's not--
837
00:50:28,959 --> 00:50:33,396
- Okay, just---aaah! No!
- I wanna go home!
838
00:50:33,463 --> 00:50:35,965
- We're gonna put our heads together--
- [Gasps]
839
00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:38,534
- Aaaah!
- [Knock On Door]
840
00:50:38,602 --> 00:50:40,403
- Coming!
- Who's that?
841
00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:42,705
- It's Lizzie!
- Lizzie? Oh, no.
842
00:50:44,107 --> 00:50:46,108
You wait here.
843
00:50:46,176 --> 00:50:48,444
- Where are you going with those?
- Just tidying up!
844
00:50:48,512 --> 00:50:51,414
Give 'em back! Give me back my arms!
Give me back--
845
00:50:51,481 --> 00:50:54,450
Why do I have to die here?
[Groaning]
846
00:50:55,485 --> 00:50:57,453
Hello?
847
00:50:57,521 --> 00:50:59,922
- Yoo-hoo!
- Don't move.
848
00:50:59,990 --> 00:51:01,824
Tim!
849
00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:04,293
Does anything in this room
strike you as odd?
850
00:51:04,361 --> 00:51:06,395
- Tim?
- [Gasps]
851
00:51:06,463 --> 00:51:08,564
[Martin]
Just a minute!
852
00:51:08,632 --> 00:51:10,466
- Aaah!
- Would you just be quiet?
853
00:51:10,534 --> 00:51:13,803
Coming! Lizzie!
Oh, Br-Br-Brace!
854
00:51:13,870 --> 00:51:16,272
Tim!
Are you decent?
855
00:51:16,339 --> 00:51:20,076
Oh, yeah! Yes, I am.
[Stuttering] What a surprise!
856
00:51:20,143 --> 00:51:22,611
- Yes, now get lost!
- What did you say?
857
00:51:22,679 --> 00:51:25,981
Uh, I'm lost.
I mean, [Chuckles]
858
00:51:26,049 --> 00:51:28,150
I'm at a loss
for how beautiful you look.
859
00:51:30,253 --> 00:51:32,555
Hey, hey, hey, hey--
[Screams]
860
00:51:34,991 --> 00:51:37,259
Now, Tim, I hope you're gonna
let me make it up to you.
861
00:51:37,327 --> 00:51:39,462
Oh, no, you don't have to do that.
I mean, that--
862
00:51:39,529 --> 00:51:45,201
Well, you know, that's up to you.
I mean, if that's--
863
00:51:47,671 --> 00:51:50,172
I brought a little peace offering.
864
00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:52,374
- Where are your wine glasses?
- No, no, no--
865
00:51:52,442 --> 00:51:55,377
That's the bedroom.
No glasses up there.
866
00:51:55,445 --> 00:51:57,480
Oh, well,
maybe I'll get a little tour later.
867
00:51:57,547 --> 00:51:59,849
- [Martin] Don't miss the bathroom!
- I'm sorry?
868
00:51:59,916 --> 00:52:01,984
I have to go to the bathroom later.
Later.
869
00:52:02,052 --> 00:52:04,820
Um, glasses are in the kitchen.
870
00:52:04,888 --> 00:52:07,022
Why don't I go get them,
and you just...
871
00:52:07,090 --> 00:52:09,225
kind of make yourself at home.
872
00:52:09,292 --> 00:52:11,794
Okay.
873
00:52:13,864 --> 00:52:16,832
- Fantastic apartment, Tim.
- Thank you very much.
874
00:52:16,900 --> 00:52:19,135
- [Cork Pops]
- Ah, yeah, there we go.
875
00:52:19,202 --> 00:52:22,872
Oh! What a slob!
876
00:52:22,939 --> 00:52:28,043
[Humming]
877
00:52:29,312 --> 00:52:32,014
[Martin Grunting]
Cut it out!
878
00:52:32,082 --> 00:52:36,085
- Hey!
- Yes, let's fall in love
879
00:52:36,153 --> 00:52:38,254
- Ooh!
- Why shouldn't we
880
00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:41,657
- Fall in love
- Mmm, that's the spot.
881
00:52:41,725 --> 00:52:44,527
Let's take a chance
882
00:52:44,594 --> 00:52:48,664
- Ooh, yeah. Mmm.
- Why be afraid of it, ba-ba-doo-day
883
00:52:48,732 --> 00:52:51,100
- Let's close our eyes
- [Moaning]
884
00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:54,103
And make our own paradise
885
00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:59,275
- Little we know
- Oh, oh, no, harder, like before.
886
00:52:59,342 --> 00:53:02,444
- Ahhh.
- Oh, baby
887
00:53:02,512 --> 00:53:05,214
- Where's the wine?
- Uh, uh--
888
00:53:05,282 --> 00:53:09,118
Why shouldn't
we fall in love
889
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:11,787
- I'll get it.
- Now is the time for it While we are young
890
00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:14,523
Let's fall in love
891
00:53:14,591 --> 00:53:16,625
You know, I asked Daddy
about giving you another chance.
892
00:53:16,693 --> 00:53:18,961
Oh, oh, good!
893
00:53:21,765 --> 00:53:25,668
- Here we go.
- Oh, lovely. Thanks.
894
00:53:28,305 --> 00:53:31,240
Hmm. You know, I thought
that crash of yours...
895
00:53:31,308 --> 00:53:33,576
might make a kind of
cute little story.
896
00:53:33,643 --> 00:53:36,745
- Oh, really? Good. That's--
- Mm-hmm.
897
00:53:36,813 --> 00:53:38,881
[Grunts]
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
898
00:53:38,949 --> 00:53:41,617
Cut it out!
899
00:53:41,685 --> 00:53:43,919
- What was that?
- Uh, I didn't hear anything.
900
00:53:43,987 --> 00:53:47,423
Tim, get rid of--
[Groaning]
901
00:53:47,490 --> 00:53:49,825
Are you all right?
902
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:53,429
Yes, I just--
I really have to go to the bathroom.
903
00:53:53,496 --> 00:53:58,100
- Well, hurry back.
- [Chuckles]
904
00:53:58,168 --> 00:54:01,337
- Why shouldn't we fall in love
- Be a minute.
905
00:54:01,404 --> 00:54:04,106
- Now's the time while we're young
- [Sighs]
906
00:54:04,174 --> 00:54:07,910
Tim!
Get me outta here!
907
00:54:07,978 --> 00:54:10,746
Stop making all that noise!
908
00:54:10,814 --> 00:54:13,816
Tell her to stop punching me!
Besides, what are you doing...
909
00:54:13,883 --> 00:54:15,918
letting that female
in your apartment?
910
00:54:15,986 --> 00:54:19,188
I've been waiting a long time
to get Brace Channing into my apartment.
911
00:54:19,256 --> 00:54:22,124
But you like Lizzie! I could tell
through your saliva exchange.
912
00:54:22,192 --> 00:54:24,960
- Excuse me?
- Look, Tim, the other night,
913
00:54:25,028 --> 00:54:27,096
when you were unconscious,
Lizzie came here.
914
00:54:27,163 --> 00:54:29,798
- And you what, you kissed her?
- Yes-- No, no--
915
00:54:29,866 --> 00:54:32,101
Well, you did.
916
00:54:32,168 --> 00:54:34,203
I did a molecular
identiclone of your body.
917
00:54:34,271 --> 00:54:36,805
- What? You what?
- You'd never understand.
918
00:54:36,873 --> 00:54:38,874
You people think E-mail is amazing.
919
00:54:38,942 --> 00:54:41,644
The point is, while I was you,
920
00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:44,113
I tapped into your subconscious,
and trust me, you like Lizzie.
921
00:54:44,180 --> 00:54:47,483
That's why I thought it was okay
for you to kiss her.
922
00:54:47,550 --> 00:54:49,918
I-I-I didn't kiss her, you did!
923
00:54:57,294 --> 00:55:00,562
[Gasps]
Bingo!
924
00:55:00,630 --> 00:55:05,801
Tim? I let myself
in the back door.
925
00:55:05,869 --> 00:55:08,704
Hello?
926
00:55:08,772 --> 00:55:13,008
- Oh, isn't this nice?
- Lizzie, is that you?
927
00:55:13,076 --> 00:55:16,745
Oh, you look, um, nice.
928
00:55:16,813 --> 00:55:19,181
He's in the bathroom,
929
00:55:19,249 --> 00:55:21,717
and he's all yours.
930
00:55:21,785 --> 00:55:24,053
I got what I came for.
931
00:55:28,191 --> 00:55:31,393
- Oh, this is great.
- Tim!
932
00:55:31,461 --> 00:55:34,697
- We don't have a lot of time here!
- I'm confused, all right?
933
00:55:34,764 --> 00:55:37,566
- Everything was going along fine until you came along.
- Don't kid yourself.
934
00:55:37,634 --> 00:55:40,569
Even a substandard species
such as yours has feelings.
935
00:55:40,637 --> 00:55:44,773
Just slow down for one millisecond
and look into your heart.
936
00:55:44,841 --> 00:55:47,309
Whose face do you see?
937
00:55:54,150 --> 00:55:57,019
Look, Brace, I think--
Lizzie!
938
00:55:58,188 --> 00:56:01,290
Whoa!
Lizzie, no, wait, wait--
939
00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:04,560
- No, please!
- This better be good.
940
00:56:04,627 --> 00:56:06,328
Oh, it is. It is.
941
00:56:06,396 --> 00:56:09,231
Uh, remember that guy
I was with at the pier yesterday?
942
00:56:09,299 --> 00:56:12,468
- Your Uncle Martin.
- He's not my uncle.
943
00:56:12,535 --> 00:56:14,570
He's a Martian!
944
00:56:14,637 --> 00:56:16,505
- [Chuckles]
- Yeah.
945
00:56:16,573 --> 00:56:20,242
- You are such a jerk!
- No, no, no. He's a Martian!
946
00:56:20,310 --> 00:56:23,412
It's the truth. In fact,
he's the one who kissed you, not me.
947
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:25,280
- Really?
- Yeah.
948
00:56:25,348 --> 00:56:27,850
His head's in my sink right now.
949
00:56:27,917 --> 00:56:30,819
- [Grunts]
- Get some sleep. You look awful.
950
00:56:30,887 --> 00:56:34,089
- Lizzie--
- And if there was anything kinky on that videotape,
951
00:56:34,157 --> 00:56:37,693
you better get Brace to give it back.
952
00:56:41,898 --> 00:56:45,934
[Zoot Grunts] Fine!
Since when did I become a mechanic?
953
00:56:46,002 --> 00:56:49,671
- [Drill Whirring]
- Do I look like overalls?
954
00:56:52,942 --> 00:56:54,977
Uncle Martin!
955
00:56:55,044 --> 00:56:57,880
- [Scissors Snipping]
- [Zoot] Okay. Don't cut the red one.
956
00:56:57,947 --> 00:57:00,549
- Or was it the blue one? [Mumbling]
- Ooh!
957
00:57:00,617 --> 00:57:03,719
I can't see a thing down here!
958
00:57:03,787 --> 00:57:05,888
Oh, thanks.
959
00:57:08,925 --> 00:57:11,160
- [Electricity Zapping]
- Ow! Geez, that hurt!
960
00:57:11,227 --> 00:57:13,395
- [Screams]
- No! - [Screams]
961
00:57:13,463 --> 00:57:15,998
Lady, please!
Put a sock in it! Quiet!
962
00:57:16,065 --> 00:57:18,066
The baby's sleeping!
963
00:57:18,134 --> 00:57:20,536
Martin, I told you.
We gotta get to the...
964
00:57:20,603 --> 00:57:22,638
TV station before Brace does.
965
00:57:22,705 --> 00:57:24,973
- [Martin] Open the bag!
- Okay, okay.
966
00:57:25,041 --> 00:57:27,342
- [Gasping] I can't breathe!
- I'm sorry.
967
00:57:27,410 --> 00:57:30,245
- Where is that confounded Zoot?
- Zoot? Uh--
968
00:57:30,313 --> 00:57:34,016
Zoot! Zoot! I think he's
in the middle of a spin cycle.
969
00:57:34,083 --> 00:57:37,920
Leave him! Quick, Tim!
Get my arm out of the other bag!
970
00:57:37,987 --> 00:57:40,522
- All right. Okay, okay, okay.
- Okay.
971
00:57:40,590 --> 00:57:44,026
- Okay.
- Yes! Excellent! Toward the ship!
972
00:57:44,093 --> 00:57:45,994
- Huh? What?
- Higher! Higher! Okay, here!
973
00:57:46,062 --> 00:57:48,931
Here we go!
[Grunts] Yes!
974
00:57:48,998 --> 00:57:51,600
- [Whimpering]
- [Martin] Easy. Oh, no!
975
00:57:51,668 --> 00:57:55,337
- [Screaming]
- Oh, no! Don't send me to the shrink!
976
00:57:55,405 --> 00:57:57,206
- [Whimpering]
- Ohh!
977
00:57:57,273 --> 00:58:00,242
- What was that?
- Uh-oh.
978
00:58:02,245 --> 00:58:04,279
Sweetie-pie,
979
00:58:04,347 --> 00:58:06,415
this is the most amazing footage
I've ever seen.
980
00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:08,851
Felix!
O'Hara's tapes are going on the 6:00.
981
00:58:08,918 --> 00:58:11,053
- Van Gundy, call the network.
- Yeah?
982
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,956
Brace is going out live
with the story of the century!
983
00:58:16,593 --> 00:58:18,627
[Martin]
I'm feeling a little carsick!
984
00:58:18,695 --> 00:58:20,729
- Oh!
- Sorry.
985
00:58:20,797 --> 00:58:23,432
[Martin Grunting]
986
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:27,069
I can't take it any more.
I can't take it any more!
987
00:58:27,136 --> 00:58:31,206
- We're running out of time. Try and pull yourself
together. - Why? We're all doomed anyway.
988
00:58:31,274 --> 00:58:34,810
Without my blasted electron accelerator,
the I.S.S. will blow!
989
00:58:34,878 --> 00:58:37,112
I feel like a hacksaw murderer.
990
00:58:37,180 --> 00:58:39,615
What the heck is
an electron accelerator anyway?
991
00:58:39,682 --> 00:58:42,751
It's a simple low-amperage power source
that activates the main thrusters.
992
00:58:42,819 --> 00:58:46,622
- Oh. Kind of like an alternator?
- What's an alternator?
993
00:58:46,689 --> 00:58:49,725
- It, uh, turns over the engine in a car.
- [Gasps] A car?
994
00:58:49,792 --> 00:58:52,461
That's it! That should work!
We're saved!
995
00:58:52,529 --> 00:58:54,563
- Not quite.
- Yes, we are.
996
00:58:54,631 --> 00:58:57,332
- Whoo-hoo! Ha, ha, ha.
- Listen, I've been--
997
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,269
I've been videotaping you.
I've got everything. I got the ship.
998
00:59:00,336 --> 00:59:03,505
I got Zoot.
I even got you in your Martian form.
999
00:59:03,573 --> 00:59:06,308
I was putting together a story,
and I was gonna get it on the air,
1000
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:08,477
- but I couldn't do it.
- Why not?
1001
00:59:08,545 --> 00:59:10,279
Because I like you, Martin.
1002
00:59:10,346 --> 00:59:12,481
I like you. I--
1003
00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:14,516
And I'm sorry.
I-I just-- I'm sorry.
1004
00:59:14,584 --> 00:59:18,020
I I-- I apologize.
I shouldn't have lied to you.
1005
00:59:18,087 --> 00:59:20,923
- You're a good human, Tim O'Hara.
- Oh, oh, yeah. I'm a terrific--
1006
00:59:20,990 --> 00:59:23,091
Martin!
You're back!
1007
00:59:23,159 --> 00:59:25,360
And I like you too.
1008
00:59:25,428 --> 00:59:28,096
- Oh-ho!
- I've never had feelings before!
1009
00:59:28,164 --> 00:59:30,132
- Oh.
- [Chuckles]
1010
00:59:30,199 --> 00:59:33,201
Now, let's go fix my ship.
1011
00:59:33,269 --> 00:59:35,370
Yeah, okay-- No!
No, we got a problem-- the tapes.
1012
00:59:35,438 --> 00:59:38,974
- Brace goes on with the Martian story in five minutes.
- Oh, blotz.
1013
00:59:39,042 --> 00:59:42,778
Yeah, and I got to get these tapes and
get to Brace before she gets on the air.
1014
00:59:42,845 --> 00:59:45,480
But there's not enough time.
You can't be in two places at once.
1015
00:59:45,548 --> 00:59:48,984
Yeah. Wait a minute!
Come on!
1016
00:59:49,052 --> 00:59:51,520
Is there an alien amongst us?
1017
00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:55,490
Is there an alien amongst us?
1018
00:59:55,558 --> 00:59:57,993
- Is there an alien among--
- [Knocking]
1019
00:59:58,061 --> 01:00:01,663
Billy, now what?
1020
01:00:01,731 --> 01:00:04,399
I want to be Brace Channing.
1021
01:00:04,467 --> 01:00:06,902
Yeah, well, get in line.
I'm sorry.
1022
01:00:06,970 --> 01:00:08,570
I really don't have time
to do any auto--
1023
01:00:10,206 --> 01:00:13,408
- [Gasps]
- Quaint, aren't they?
1024
01:00:13,476 --> 01:00:16,144
These days, most of our young
are born cable-ready.
1025
01:00:16,212 --> 01:00:18,180
You're the--
[Gasps]
1026
01:00:18,247 --> 01:00:21,450
[Gasps] Daddy!
[Screams]
1027
01:00:22,885 --> 01:00:24,820
[Director]
Heads up. Four minutes to air.
1028
01:00:24,887 --> 01:00:28,156
First positions, everyone.
1029
01:00:28,224 --> 01:00:32,094
Tim! What are you doing here?
You look, uh, tired.
1030
01:00:32,161 --> 01:00:35,364
Oh, yeah. I was up all night with Brace
working on the alien story.
1031
01:00:35,431 --> 01:00:38,900
I made a couple of mistakes in tape number two,
but that's the corrected version.
1032
01:00:38,968 --> 01:00:43,705
Now if I could just get through this
without having to look in a mirror.
1033
01:00:43,773 --> 01:00:47,309
- Hmm.
- [Director] Coming up on three minutes to air.
1034
01:00:50,179 --> 01:00:52,280
[Grunts]
1035
01:00:58,821 --> 01:01:00,922
Tim!
1036
01:01:00,990 --> 01:01:04,192
- Martin, is that you?
- Does a wild bear blotz in the woods?
1037
01:01:04,260 --> 01:01:08,196
Good, good. Okay. Just--
Just read the copy as written. Go.
1038
01:01:10,099 --> 01:01:12,100
- Hi, Brace.
- [Chuckling Nervously]
1039
01:01:12,168 --> 01:01:15,203
- Congratulations, Brace.
- Yes, I'm Brace Channing.
1040
01:01:15,271 --> 01:01:17,806
[Man]
Let's hear it for Brace!
1041
01:01:17,874 --> 01:01:21,376
[Whistling, Applauding]
1042
01:01:21,444 --> 01:01:25,414
- Dr Coleye, you're going to become a very famous man.
- Thirty I.D. and open.
1043
01:01:25,481 --> 01:01:27,582
- [Announcer] KGSC.
- Ready camera one live.
1044
01:01:27,650 --> 01:01:29,785
- The news for southern California...
- [Grunting]
1045
01:01:29,852 --> 01:01:34,656
with anchor Howard Greenly and
on special assignment, Brace Channing.
1046
01:01:34,724 --> 01:01:37,159
- What the hell is she wearing?
- You know Brace.
1047
01:01:37,226 --> 01:01:41,229
- Yeah. Must be trendy.
- [Director] Fifteen seconds, people.
1048
01:01:41,297 --> 01:01:46,268
[Mr. Channing]
Sweetie-pie, get rid of the gum.
1049
01:01:46,335 --> 01:01:49,504
- Billy! - Come on, Brace!
- Leave the gum, Billy!
1050
01:01:49,572 --> 01:01:53,075
- Get the gum, Billy!
- [Man] Brace, ten seconds. - No.
1051
01:01:53,142 --> 01:01:55,277
Ready?
Camera two live in five--
1052
01:01:55,344 --> 01:01:56,945
- Give me the gum, Brace!
- No! No! No!
1053
01:01:57,013 --> 01:01:59,281
- Four-- - No!
- Leave it! Leave it!
1054
01:01:59,348 --> 01:02:01,950
- Three--
- Get the damn gum!
1055
01:02:02,018 --> 01:02:05,320
- [Roars]
- [Announcer] Are there aliens amongst us?
1056
01:02:05,388 --> 01:02:07,823
This report is being broadcast live.
1057
01:02:07,890 --> 01:02:10,592
- The gum is out.
- Oh, good. Thanks to you, Felix.
1058
01:02:10,660 --> 01:02:14,529
[Announcer]
And now, Howard Greenly...
1059
01:02:14,597 --> 01:02:16,865
- And cue Howard.
- And Brace Channing!
1060
01:02:16,933 --> 01:02:19,267
- Good evening. I'm Howard Greenly.
- [Groaning]
1061
01:02:19,335 --> 01:02:22,003
- What's up with her?
- I don't know.
1062
01:02:22,071 --> 01:02:27,375
...a story developing throughout the day
right here in southern California.
1063
01:02:27,443 --> 01:02:32,147
Our own Brace Channing has been
following the events as they take place.
1064
01:02:32,215 --> 01:02:34,549
- Brace?
- [Groans]
1065
01:02:34,617 --> 01:02:37,052
- What is she doing?
- Howard--
1066
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:39,187
- Camera two go.
- No!
1067
01:02:39,255 --> 01:02:41,890
[Greenly]
Brace?
1068
01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:44,159
- Brace!
- Just read the copy!
1069
01:02:44,227 --> 01:02:47,162
[Groans]
Just get the nurplex.
1070
01:02:47,230 --> 01:02:49,531
What's going on here?
1071
01:02:49,599 --> 01:02:51,633
Is there an alien amongst us?
1072
01:02:51,701 --> 01:02:54,636
- Oh. It's all right.
- According to Dr Elliot Coleye,
1073
01:02:54,704 --> 01:02:58,173
chief biologist and head researcher
for the SETI group,
1074
01:02:58,241 --> 01:03:00,575
the answer is--
1075
01:03:00,643 --> 01:03:03,411
- [Gasping]
- Yes.
1076
01:03:03,479 --> 01:03:06,982
- She's an alien!
- She's not an alien. She's my daughter!
1077
01:03:07,049 --> 01:03:09,417
[Voice Tonality Wavering] What you're
about to see is that evidence...
1078
01:03:09,485 --> 01:03:12,187
[Squawks]
of the actual footage of the alien.
1079
01:03:12,255 --> 01:03:14,823
But I warn you--
it's appearance is unlike...
1080
01:03:14,891 --> 01:03:17,526
[Gasps] anything you are
likely to have seen before.
1081
01:03:17,593 --> 01:03:20,762
She's going under the table.
She's going under the table!
1082
01:03:20,830 --> 01:03:23,665
- [Continues, Voice Wavering]
- And go.
1083
01:03:23,733 --> 01:03:27,035
- Feelin' hot, hot, hot
- What the hell is this?
1084
01:03:27,103 --> 01:03:30,505
- Somebody mislabelled the tapes!
- Come on. Got it!
1085
01:03:30,573 --> 01:03:33,074
- I don't know. Let's go back live.
- Tim!
1086
01:03:33,142 --> 01:03:35,510
What is O'Hara doing with my daughter?
1087
01:03:35,578 --> 01:03:38,446
- I-I-I don't know. I--
- Get me out of here!
1088
01:03:38,514 --> 01:03:40,949
- [Chattering]
- [Muffled Screaming]
1089
01:03:41,017 --> 01:03:43,852
- [Shouting]
- Get me the network!
1090
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,388
- You're a dead man, O'Hara!
- Come on!
1091
01:03:46,455 --> 01:03:50,058
I think that went pretty well,
don't you?
1092
01:03:50,126 --> 01:03:52,761
- [Muffled Shouting]
- [Martin] All right. Calm down.
1093
01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:55,297
Search everywhere!
1094
01:03:55,364 --> 01:03:58,433
Boy, her head was dark and empty.
1095
01:03:58,501 --> 01:04:00,936
- There they are! There they are!
- [Muffled Shouting]
1096
01:04:01,003 --> 01:04:03,205
Wait!
1097
01:04:05,107 --> 01:04:08,076
I think Miss Channing might have been
contaminated by the alien.
1098
01:04:08,144 --> 01:04:11,112
- Hmm?
- I'm just going to give her a quick examination.
1099
01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:13,381
[Muffled Shout]
No!
1100
01:04:13,449 --> 01:04:15,584
I'll just be a moment.
1101
01:04:15,651 --> 01:04:17,752
Ah.
There we go.
1102
01:04:17,820 --> 01:04:19,888
Let's see.
Am I forgetting something?
1103
01:04:19,956 --> 01:04:22,891
Oh.
[Humming]
1104
01:04:22,959 --> 01:04:25,760
There it is.
1105
01:04:25,828 --> 01:04:27,829
[Humming Resumes]
1106
01:04:27,897 --> 01:04:29,898
- Mrs. Brown! Down here!
- [Martin] Lady, please.
1107
01:04:29,966 --> 01:04:33,468
- [Both Shouting]
- Oh, this is darling.
1108
01:04:33,536 --> 01:04:35,937
- I'm gonna hurl!
- [Shouting]
1109
01:04:36,005 --> 01:04:39,507
This will make some child very happy...
if he's got a buck or two.
1110
01:04:45,381 --> 01:04:48,583
- Hey, Mrs. B. How are you?
- Hello, fellows.
1111
01:04:50,319 --> 01:04:53,688
Zoot!
Blotz!
1112
01:04:53,756 --> 01:04:55,957
My ship! Where's my ship?
1113
01:04:56,025 --> 01:04:58,627
- We only have two hours before it explodes!
- I'll check upstairs.
1114
01:04:58,694 --> 01:05:00,762
Hurry!
Zoot!
1115
01:05:01,831 --> 01:05:03,965
Zoot?
Where are you?
1116
01:05:04,033 --> 01:05:07,202
Blotz! You're not Zoot.
Where could he be?
1117
01:05:07,270 --> 01:05:10,138
I'm not leaving this planet
without Zoot. Tim!
1118
01:05:10,206 --> 01:05:12,807
Not upstairs.
1119
01:05:12,875 --> 01:05:15,644
- What's a "rummaggie" sale?
- "Rummaggie" sale?
1120
01:05:15,711 --> 01:05:19,080
R-- Rummaggie--
Rummage. Mrs. Brown.
1121
01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:26,288
- [Tires Squealing]
- [Siren Wailing]
1122
01:05:26,355 --> 01:05:28,657
- Looks like we got company.
- Blotz!
1123
01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:32,160
It's them!
After them!
1124
01:05:32,228 --> 01:05:37,799
- [Sirens Wailing] - Hang on.
- [Horns Honking]
1125
01:05:37,867 --> 01:05:40,068
- Ooh.
- I repeat, Gilford and Third.
1126
01:05:40,136 --> 01:05:44,306
Give me that thing.
I want a roadblock!
1127
01:05:44,373 --> 01:05:48,710
- We're never gonna lose 'em!
- Can't you drive any faster, you pinhead?
1128
01:05:53,115 --> 01:05:55,250
- Uh-oh, we're in trouble.
- [Martin] Maximum thrust!
1129
01:05:55,318 --> 01:05:57,752
- What?
- Stand on it, Stan!
1130
01:05:59,155 --> 01:06:01,489
- We're gonna crash!
- [Triggers Cocking]
1131
01:06:01,557 --> 01:06:03,992
- I think not!
- [Device Beeps]
1132
01:06:04,060 --> 01:06:07,896
[Tires Squealing]
1133
01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,098
- [Tires Squealing]
- Aah!
1134
01:06:11,233 --> 01:06:13,768
- Oh!
- Shoot it! Come on!
1135
01:06:15,838 --> 01:06:18,239
- They're shooting at us!
- Duck in that garage.
1136
01:06:18,307 --> 01:06:20,842
- What garage?
- There! - Hang on!
1137
01:06:22,144 --> 01:06:24,579
[Both Screaming]
1138
01:06:24,647 --> 01:06:27,816
Oh. Tim, why are we stopping?
1139
01:06:29,618 --> 01:06:32,721
- [Car Ignition Grinding]
- They're right there.
1140
01:06:32,788 --> 01:06:36,458
God!
1141
01:06:36,525 --> 01:06:39,861
- Get me that thing over there!
We're gonna flush 'em out! - Yes, sir.
1142
01:06:39,929 --> 01:06:42,397
- I dropped it!
- What? Dropped what?
1143
01:06:42,465 --> 01:06:45,133
- My molecular compressor!
- Here.
1144
01:06:45,201 --> 01:06:47,369
Use this.
1145
01:06:47,436 --> 01:06:51,439
- This won't work!
- No, use it to find it.
1146
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:56,244
That'll do very nicely.
Now, get it in there!
1147
01:06:56,312 --> 01:06:58,313
Uh! Uh!
Nuts!
1148
01:06:58,381 --> 01:07:00,415
Ahh! I found it!
1149
01:07:00,483 --> 01:07:02,717
[Coleye]
We've got you now!
1150
01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:06,054
- Tim!
- I see it!
1151
01:07:08,624 --> 01:07:11,326
- [Martin Groans]
- [Tim] Sorry.
1152
01:07:12,795 --> 01:07:16,398
[Shouting]
1153
01:07:20,970 --> 01:07:24,572
- Faster. Faster.
- It's getting closer!
1154
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:28,276
- I'm going as fast as I can!
- That's not fast enough!
1155
01:07:28,344 --> 01:07:31,513
[Screaming]
1156
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:41,723
Martin! Martin, up ahead!
We're trapped! Quick, make us smaller.
1157
01:07:46,095 --> 01:07:49,030
We're not gonna make it!
1158
01:07:49,098 --> 01:07:51,933
Hang on!
1159
01:07:55,104 --> 01:07:59,441
- Are we clear?
- [Martin] Whoa-ho, I think we did it!
1160
01:07:59,508 --> 01:08:02,310
- I see light ahead!
- Oh. Whoa, whoa-ooh!
1161
01:08:02,378 --> 01:08:05,213
[Both Screaming]
1162
01:08:15,691 --> 01:08:19,994
- Where the heck are we?
- [Man] Hey, Elma, where's my new Field and Stream?
1163
01:08:20,062 --> 01:08:23,131
[Woman] It's in the bathroom,
right where you left it.
1164
01:08:23,199 --> 01:08:25,700
Oh, yeah.
I see it now.
1165
01:08:25,768 --> 01:08:28,670
By the way,
where's my tuna sandwich?
1166
01:08:28,737 --> 01:08:31,973
- You want it in there?
- Ha-ha. Ohh!
1167
01:08:32,041 --> 01:08:35,410
Why'd I eat that fourth burrito?
[Grunting]
1168
01:08:35,478 --> 01:08:38,580
- Uh-oh.
- [Grunting Continues]
1169
01:08:41,917 --> 01:08:44,886
[Flatulent Sounds]
1170
01:08:46,288 --> 01:08:50,091
- Do it. Do it now.
- [Device Beeping]
1171
01:08:50,159 --> 01:08:52,760
Uh! Uh, uh, uh--
[Screaming]
1172
01:09:02,505 --> 01:09:04,839
- Sorry, buddy.
- I'll get you, you son of a b--
1173
01:09:04,907 --> 01:09:08,743
- No!
- Sir, the police just had a crank call.
1174
01:09:08,811 --> 01:09:11,846
- A '62 Plymouth just came out of a toilet on Woodlawn.
- Aah!
1175
01:09:15,484 --> 01:09:17,552
[Martin]
Stop! Pull over! Pull over!
1176
01:09:17,620 --> 01:09:19,621
We need to talk!
Pull over!
1177
01:09:19,688 --> 01:09:21,856
[Brakes Squealing]
1178
01:09:21,924 --> 01:09:23,925
- Pull over there.
- Where? Oh.
1179
01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:26,761
- Get the alternator. I'll get the ship!
- Okay.
1180
01:09:26,829 --> 01:09:31,132
Oh, my goodness! Martin!
What's wrong?
1181
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,234
Forgive me, Lorelei,
but this is urgent.
1182
01:09:33,302 --> 01:09:35,737
- You have something I need desperately.
- Oh, wow.
1183
01:09:35,804 --> 01:09:39,240
- Martin, don't say that unless you mean it.
- You don't know the half of it.
1184
01:09:39,308 --> 01:09:44,445
- I'm from another world.
- Oh, well, I could have told you that.
1185
01:09:50,519 --> 01:09:53,621
- [Grunts]
- Oh! Mmm!
1186
01:09:53,689 --> 01:09:56,491
Mar-- Martin?
1187
01:09:56,559 --> 01:09:58,960
Martin, come on!
1188
01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:03,631
When you look at the stars,
think of me.
1189
01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:06,401
- Oh. [Giggles]
- [Barks]
1190
01:10:06,468 --> 01:10:10,805
[Gasps]
Oh! Whew!
1191
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,441
Feelings for an Earth woman--
I've gotta get off this planet.
1192
01:10:13,509 --> 01:10:15,510
I've got it!
1193
01:10:15,578 --> 01:10:18,012
I don't have the right tools,
so I'm having trouble getting--
1194
01:10:18,080 --> 01:10:21,749
Oh!
Or we could do it your way.
1195
01:10:21,817 --> 01:10:25,286
But wait! This means your vehicle
will cease to function.
1196
01:10:25,354 --> 01:10:27,989
I know how much it means to you.
1197
01:10:28,057 --> 01:10:31,492
Well, that's too bad.
Just had the darn thing washed too.
1198
01:10:38,500 --> 01:10:40,835
That's good!
That's--
1199
01:10:40,903 --> 01:10:43,004
Martin? Martin?
1200
01:10:45,407 --> 01:10:48,243
- [Coleye] Direct hit!
- Uncle Martin?
1201
01:11:00,422 --> 01:11:03,658
[Tim]
Hey! Hey, what--
1202
01:11:03,726 --> 01:11:07,328
Hey, you don't know what you're doing!
Hey, hey!
1203
01:11:07,396 --> 01:11:12,066
Don't mess with that spaceship!
It's gonna explode!
1204
01:11:12,134 --> 01:11:14,235
- Narrow the beam.
- Intensify.
1205
01:11:14,303 --> 01:11:17,138
[Lizzie Groaning]
1206
01:11:17,206 --> 01:11:19,841
I'm not flame-retardant!
1207
01:11:19,908 --> 01:11:22,977
We're in here!
Stop it!
1208
01:11:23,045 --> 01:11:25,046
- [Sobbing]
- We're gonna die.
1209
01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:29,183
- Die? And I'm still virgin wool!
- It's okay.
1210
01:11:29,251 --> 01:11:31,819
I'm scared! Hold me!
[Sobbing]
1211
01:11:31,887 --> 01:11:33,888
Oh, this is nice.
1212
01:11:33,956 --> 01:11:36,257
[Beeping]
1213
01:11:38,961 --> 01:11:43,531
[Coleye]
Easy does it.
1214
01:11:43,599 --> 01:11:46,501
Great.
1215
01:11:46,568 --> 01:11:50,872
- Wow. Fascinating.
- [Woman] Doctor.
1216
01:11:50,939 --> 01:11:53,374
It appears to be some sort of...
1217
01:11:53,442 --> 01:11:56,010
biomechanical transmitting device.
1218
01:11:56,078 --> 01:11:58,413
Doctor, there's some chewing gum
wedged back in his molar.
1219
01:11:58,480 --> 01:12:01,182
Leave it!
Pestering me with Juicy Fruit!
1220
01:12:01,250 --> 01:12:04,886
This guy's got a radio station
inside of his skull! Here.
1221
01:12:04,953 --> 01:12:08,523
We'll put this under the electron
microscope later. Whoa-ho!
1222
01:12:08,590 --> 01:12:12,260
Excellent.
Armitan's gonna be eating his words!
1223
01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:15,897
Perfect ending
to an already perfect day.
1224
01:12:15,964 --> 01:12:19,867
- He's a little pale. - I think he's having
a negative reaction to the tranquilizers.
1225
01:12:19,935 --> 01:12:22,270
Well, two CCs of adrenaline, stat!
1226
01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:25,273
- Doctor, I think we're losing him.
- [Yelling, Pounding]
1227
01:12:25,341 --> 01:12:27,942
- Nothing.
- [Man] Shut it down.
1228
01:12:28,010 --> 01:12:31,813
- Get ready to try it again. This time, full power.
- He's pointing to something.
1229
01:12:33,515 --> 01:12:35,883
- He's pointing to the thing.
- Pick it up. Pick--
1230
01:12:35,951 --> 01:12:38,119
Pick it-- Yeah.
No. No, no, no.
1231
01:12:38,187 --> 01:12:40,555
No, that one. That one.
1232
01:12:40,622 --> 01:12:43,624
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1233
01:12:43,692 --> 01:12:46,661
This. Do this.
1234
01:12:46,729 --> 01:12:51,165
- [Beeping]
- Yes!
1235
01:12:53,202 --> 01:12:56,137
[Shouting]
1236
01:12:59,475 --> 01:13:02,009
Whoa-oh-oh!
1237
01:13:05,147 --> 01:13:07,482
No. No, no. Oh.
1238
01:13:07,549 --> 01:13:09,751
- Tim!
- Oh!
1239
01:13:09,818 --> 01:13:12,253
All right, back off, Gomer.
Hey.
1240
01:13:12,321 --> 01:13:14,288
Give me that, dipstick!
1241
01:13:14,356 --> 01:13:16,357
You get Tim.
I'll scare the locals.
1242
01:13:16,425 --> 01:13:18,593
[Shouts]
1243
01:13:18,660 --> 01:13:20,528
- Let's get out of here!
- Call security!
1244
01:13:20,596 --> 01:13:23,030
- [All Shouting]
- Nobody will take on the suit!
1245
01:13:23,098 --> 01:13:25,600
My zipper is stuck,
and I'm mad as hell!
1246
01:13:25,667 --> 01:13:28,436
- Lizzie, what--
- Tim! Oh, are you okay?
1247
01:13:28,504 --> 01:13:30,872
- Fine, fine. Are you okay?
- Oh, you wouldn't believe--
1248
01:13:30,939 --> 01:13:34,976
- Yeah.
- [Beeping]
1249
01:13:35,043 --> 01:13:38,179
- We got to find Martin.
- Yeah.
1250
01:13:38,247 --> 01:13:41,215
Back off!
You heard me.
1251
01:13:41,283 --> 01:13:43,818
You don't understand. That spaceship's
gonna explode in 20 minutes.
1252
01:13:43,886 --> 01:13:46,587
- It is?
- On the floor. Now.
1253
01:13:48,023 --> 01:13:50,324
Excuse me.
Arnold, Jean-Claude?
1254
01:13:50,392 --> 01:13:53,895
[Shouts]
Not working. Oh.
1255
01:13:53,962 --> 01:13:56,664
- It's an empty suit.
- Empty suit?
1256
01:13:56,732 --> 01:13:59,901
Now you've done it, Grasshopper.
Whoo-aah!
1257
01:14:02,704 --> 01:14:05,473
Boxing?
[Chuckles]
1258
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:07,675
- You should be boxing groceries.
- [Grunts]
1259
01:14:07,743 --> 01:14:10,211
[Laughs]
That tickles, ya big ox!
1260
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:13,314
Say, aren't you
one of the Spice Girls?
1261
01:14:13,382 --> 01:14:16,083
- [Growling]
- Alley-oop!
1262
01:14:16,151 --> 01:14:17,885
[Crashes]
1263
01:14:17,953 --> 01:14:19,987
Beavis down, Butt-head to go.
1264
01:14:20,055 --> 01:14:23,491
So, is it true you peed your bunk
in summer camp? Ouch!
1265
01:14:23,559 --> 01:14:26,093
- [Screams]
- [Gasping]
1266
01:14:26,161 --> 01:14:30,064
Oh, Gee-- Tim! Lizzie!
1267
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:32,900
- [Zoot Muttering]
- [Grunts]
1268
01:14:39,408 --> 01:14:41,909
- [Grunting]
- Ooh!
1269
01:14:41,977 --> 01:14:45,279
[Groaning]
1270
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:48,382
- [Growls]
- [Screams]
1271
01:14:48,450 --> 01:14:50,685
- [Growling]
- [Groaning]
1272
01:14:52,654 --> 01:14:55,590
[Groaning Continues]
1273
01:14:56,758 --> 01:14:59,227
- Uh-oh.
- [Grunts]
1274
01:14:59,294 --> 01:15:01,429
- This is gonna hurt.
- Ooh!
1275
01:15:01,497 --> 01:15:04,298
- Ow!
- [Lizzie Gasps]
1276
01:15:04,366 --> 01:15:07,435
- [Blows Landing, Both Grunting]
- Lizzie!
1277
01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:09,403
The ship's going to explode!
1278
01:15:09,471 --> 01:15:12,039
Veenox Seven.
Chew this.
1279
01:15:12,107 --> 01:15:15,276
- [Punching Continues]
- [Tim] You gotta believe it!
1280
01:15:25,621 --> 01:15:28,389
Whoa-oh-oh-oh!
1281
01:15:28,457 --> 01:15:30,992
- [Growls]
- [Screaming]
1282
01:15:41,670 --> 01:15:45,039
- [Snarls, Roars]
- [Screams]
1283
01:16:00,989 --> 01:16:03,424
[Belches]
Uh-oh.
1284
01:16:03,492 --> 01:16:06,160
Did you do something with your hair?
1285
01:16:06,228 --> 01:16:10,164
Glad you noticed.
[Roars]
1286
01:16:17,339 --> 01:16:19,874
[Mutters]
Whoop!
1287
01:16:19,942 --> 01:16:22,043
[Sighs]
1288
01:16:25,180 --> 01:16:28,316
- I think I liked you better the other way.
- Oh, really?
1289
01:16:28,383 --> 01:16:31,686
- [In Raspy Voice] Well, that can be arranged.
- No, no. We gotta find Martin.
1290
01:16:31,753 --> 01:16:35,790
- Where's Zoot?
- [Moaning]
1291
01:16:35,857 --> 01:16:38,593
Oh, no.
1292
01:16:39,895 --> 01:16:42,396
Come on!
Come on!
1293
01:16:42,464 --> 01:16:45,199
Doctor, he's gone.
1294
01:16:45,267 --> 01:16:48,469
He's not gone till I say he's gone,
so back off!
1295
01:16:48,537 --> 01:16:51,205
- Back off! Now!
- [Nurse] Charge the paddle.
1296
01:16:51,273 --> 01:16:54,408
- [Man] All right, we're charged.
- [Coleye] Clear! Clear!
1297
01:16:54,476 --> 01:16:57,678
All right. Clear!
1298
01:16:57,746 --> 01:17:01,048
- Come on, Martin.
- [Electricity Buzzing]
1299
01:17:01,116 --> 01:17:03,250
- Oh, damn!
- There's no pulse, Doctor.
1300
01:17:03,318 --> 01:17:07,555
All right, all right.
I'm calling it. 8:15.
1301
01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:11,826
- We're too late.
- [Zoot] No, hurry!
1302
01:17:11,893 --> 01:17:15,329
- [Man] Would you like me to do the autopsy, Doctor?
- Are you insane?
1303
01:17:15,397 --> 01:17:17,898
- You get out of here! Get out!
- All right. All right.
1304
01:17:17,966 --> 01:17:20,534
All of you idiots, you get out.
You get out.
1305
01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:23,237
- I'm goin'!
- You get right out. Clowns!
1306
01:17:23,305 --> 01:17:25,406
Come on.
1307
01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:30,511
Okay, my sorry little Martian.
1308
01:17:30,579 --> 01:17:33,681
Have it your way.
1309
01:17:33,749 --> 01:17:36,550
Let's open you up.
1310
01:17:36,618 --> 01:17:40,955
- [Lizzie] Assistance, Doctor?
- What? No! You--
1311
01:17:41,023 --> 01:17:43,524
Hey, wait a minute.
You're not--
1312
01:17:43,592 --> 01:17:46,193
- She came with me.
- Oh. - Clear.
1313
01:17:46,261 --> 01:17:48,929
[Electricity Zapping]
1314
01:17:48,997 --> 01:17:51,766
[Moans]
1315
01:17:56,338 --> 01:17:59,373
[Zoot's Voice]
Must... be together.
1316
01:18:19,227 --> 01:18:21,062
Zoot!
1317
01:18:33,375 --> 01:18:35,910
- [Gasps]
- Martin?
1318
01:18:38,647 --> 01:18:42,349
- Martin!
- [Groans] Tim! Lizzie!
1319
01:18:42,417 --> 01:18:45,252
- You're-- You're--
- [Zoot] Breathin', baby! I still got the touch.
1320
01:18:45,320 --> 01:18:48,089
Oh, you beauteous bathrobe!
[Laughs]
1321
01:18:48,156 --> 01:18:50,291
- Martin--
- Let's see cotton do that, huh? Easy.
1322
01:18:50,358 --> 01:18:53,294
- I got an image!
- [Martin] Okay, okay.
1323
01:18:53,361 --> 01:18:55,362
Martin! Martin!
1324
01:18:55,430 --> 01:18:58,499
- We don't have much time.
- Blotz!
1325
01:18:58,567 --> 01:19:01,268
- [Man, Over Loudspeaker] Shut down
and monitor all exits. - [Sirens Wailing]
1326
01:19:01,336 --> 01:19:03,604
[Men Chattering, Indistinct]
1327
01:19:03,672 --> 01:19:06,607
[Woman, Over Loudspeaker]
All units stand by for total lockup.
1328
01:19:08,376 --> 01:19:10,611
- Martin, can you get the lock?
- I think so.
1329
01:19:12,047 --> 01:19:14,415
- [Electricity Humming]
- Come on!
1330
01:19:16,351 --> 01:19:19,286
- [Man, Over Loudspeaker] Biotech units on alert.
- [Siren Wailing]
1331
01:19:19,354 --> 01:19:22,323
[Woman, Over Loudspeaker]
All non-security personnel...
1332
01:19:22,390 --> 01:19:25,359
- are to report to their holding areas.
- Come on. Stay down!
1333
01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:29,130
- Stay down.
- Here's a place!
1334
01:19:29,197 --> 01:19:31,398
All right.
Stand back, you two.
1335
01:19:31,466 --> 01:19:33,567
[Device Beeping]
1336
01:19:41,209 --> 01:19:44,145
- [Siren Wailing]
- What's going on? Where's the alien?
1337
01:19:44,212 --> 01:19:47,314
- There's been a slight problem.
- Open that gate. Let's find Dr Coleye.
1338
01:19:47,382 --> 01:19:49,250
- Yes, sir, yes, sir. Right away.
- Come on!
1339
01:19:49,317 --> 01:19:51,252
Let 'em through!
1340
01:19:52,487 --> 01:19:54,655
Here.
1341
01:19:57,225 --> 01:20:00,094
There. [Grunts]
Contact.
1342
01:20:00,162 --> 01:20:02,997
There.
I think that's going to work.
1343
01:20:04,633 --> 01:20:06,667
I'm gonna miss you, Martin.
1344
01:20:06,735 --> 01:20:10,871
- [Zoot Giggles] - You too, Zoot.
- You're so full of starch!
1345
01:20:10,939 --> 01:20:13,574
Hey, let 'em know how you feel!
[Chuckles]
1346
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:15,676
You're the best pet I ever had!
1347
01:20:15,744 --> 01:20:18,012
Stop being such a baby blanket!
1348
01:20:18,079 --> 01:20:20,948
[Mutters]
1349
01:20:21,016 --> 01:20:23,617
Lizzie, my dear friend.
1350
01:20:24,653 --> 01:20:27,788
Take care, Uncle Martin.
1351
01:20:30,125 --> 01:20:34,628
I've done that before. It's very nice.
I highly recommend it.
1352
01:20:37,132 --> 01:20:40,467
Good luck, you two.
1353
01:20:44,806 --> 01:20:47,908
Something tells me
you're gonna miss your flight!
1354
01:20:47,976 --> 01:20:51,111
- Then in two minutes, we all die.
- You're lying.
1355
01:20:51,179 --> 01:20:54,949
Are you certain about that, Coleye?
1356
01:20:55,016 --> 01:20:57,985
- Because I'm not.
- What are you saying?
1357
01:20:58,053 --> 01:21:01,288
- Release him.
- Release him?
1358
01:21:01,356 --> 01:21:04,992
I have spent an entire career
trying to prove that aliens exist.
1359
01:21:05,060 --> 01:21:08,395
Now he's my proof!
1360
01:21:08,463 --> 01:21:10,564
Dead or alive,
he's staying with me!
1361
01:21:10,632 --> 01:21:12,433
Oh. Ohh! Ohh!
1362
01:21:12,500 --> 01:21:14,935
Whoa! Aah!
1363
01:21:15,003 --> 01:21:18,439
- Martin?
- I don't understand! I-- I--
1364
01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:22,142
Coleye, you always were a little blotz.
1365
01:21:22,210 --> 01:21:25,646
- [Coleye] What?
- Neenurt!
1366
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:29,416
Ha ha ha! I haven't heard that name
in a long time.
1367
01:21:29,484 --> 01:21:33,854
- Pronounced properly, anyway.
- You mean it was you all along?
1368
01:21:33,922 --> 01:21:39,159
I can't believe this!
I should have known! You're a Martian?
1369
01:21:39,227 --> 01:21:41,295
I was--
Uhh! Aah!
1370
01:21:41,363 --> 01:21:44,164
[Screaming]
1371
01:21:51,072 --> 01:21:54,675
Waaah!
[Grunting]
1372
01:21:54,743 --> 01:21:58,545
- [Chuckling]
- Wait. You're the one I saw at the pier.
1373
01:21:58,613 --> 01:22:00,281
I was trying to get to you
before they did.
1374
01:22:00,348 --> 01:22:03,317
I've been trying
to hitch a ride home for 30 years!
1375
01:22:03,385 --> 01:22:06,820
What a beauty!
Oh, by the way,
1376
01:22:06,888 --> 01:22:09,223
I believe these belong to you.
1377
01:22:09,291 --> 01:22:12,126
[Gasps]
My antennae.
1378
01:22:12,193 --> 01:22:15,663
I can't go home without these. I have a
hard enough time getting dates as it is.
1379
01:22:15,730 --> 01:22:19,700
Mine's always giving me trouble too.
And everything's in black and white.
1380
01:22:19,768 --> 01:22:23,137
- [Groaning]
- And those commercials-- "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz"--
1381
01:22:23,204 --> 01:22:26,740
That gum lost its flavour in '66.
1382
01:22:26,808 --> 01:22:29,710
All right. Let's go.
Let's go. Come on.
1383
01:22:29,778 --> 01:22:32,913
- Got to go. Farewell.
- Come back for a visit sometime.
1384
01:22:32,981 --> 01:22:35,649
Maybe.
1385
01:22:35,717 --> 01:22:38,719
I'm beginning to see a glimmer
of potential among you Earthlings.
1386
01:22:38,787 --> 01:22:42,656
One word of advice: You'll never
completely advance as a culture...
1387
01:22:42,724 --> 01:22:46,560
until you take care of your oceans
and do away with daytime talk shows.
1388
01:22:48,897 --> 01:22:51,198
Goodbye, you crazy lovebirds!
1389
01:22:51,266 --> 01:22:54,068
Ah, stop being such
a hysterical housecoat.
1390
01:22:54,135 --> 01:22:59,573
- See ya, Zoot.
- Rollin', rollin', rollin' Keep them doggies rollin'
1391
01:23:01,109 --> 01:23:04,611
[Growling]
Aliens!
1392
01:23:07,983 --> 01:23:11,285
Wait! No!
1393
01:23:11,353 --> 01:23:13,554
Please! No! You can't!
1394
01:23:13,621 --> 01:23:16,457
Don't go! Come back!
1395
01:23:16,524 --> 01:23:20,194
No-o-o!
1396
01:23:20,261 --> 01:23:22,896
[Growls]
1397
01:23:22,964 --> 01:23:24,264
Aah!
1398
01:23:24,332 --> 01:23:26,633
What the--
Eeew!
1399
01:23:26,701 --> 01:23:30,204
Gum. Gum!
1400
01:23:30,271 --> 01:23:33,574
Wait, this is the alien gum!
Yes!
1401
01:23:33,641 --> 01:23:35,876
Wait, wait.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
1402
01:23:35,944 --> 01:23:39,179
Well, you're not me, are ya?
[Laughs]
1403
01:23:40,949 --> 01:23:42,983
I can learn more about them...
1404
01:23:43,051 --> 01:23:45,285
from their leftover--
1405
01:23:45,353 --> 01:23:47,488
Wha--
That's brilliant!
1406
01:23:47,555 --> 01:23:50,124
I can feel every molecule of my body...
1407
01:23:50,191 --> 01:23:52,292
starting to change!
1408
01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:55,496
[Laughing]
1409
01:23:56,965 --> 01:23:59,033
Aah!
1410
01:24:00,068 --> 01:24:02,503
Oh, no.
1411
01:24:06,508 --> 01:24:09,009
Hold it! Don't move!
1412
01:24:09,077 --> 01:24:12,413
- No!
- Stop! Don't shoot! Get the tranquillizer gun.
1413
01:24:12,480 --> 01:24:14,982
No, not that, you idiots!
1414
01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:18,485
- I'm not a Martian.
- We got him, boys. Get the tranquillizer gun.
1415
01:24:18,553 --> 01:24:20,788
We've got one--
a real live Martian!
1416
01:24:20,855 --> 01:24:24,992
It's me. Coleye. No! No!
1417
01:24:25,060 --> 01:24:27,361
Aah!
1418
01:24:27,429 --> 01:24:30,197
[Man]
The truth is out there!
1419
01:24:30,265 --> 01:24:33,834
We are not leaving until they
listen to us! We've got proof!
1420
01:24:33,902 --> 01:24:37,104
I saw one!
He cloned my body!
1421
01:24:37,172 --> 01:24:39,106
He could be anywhere by now!
1422
01:24:39,174 --> 01:24:41,608
The truth is out there!
1423
01:24:41,676 --> 01:24:43,677
The truth is out there!
1424
01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:47,147
So that's the story here
from Santa Barbara City Hall.
1425
01:24:47,215 --> 01:24:50,284
- I'm Bill Randall, KGSC.
- [Crowd Chanting] The truth, the truth,
1426
01:24:50,351 --> 01:24:53,053
the truth, the truth, the truth!
1427
01:24:53,121 --> 01:24:55,289
It's all I--
1428
01:24:59,060 --> 01:25:03,730
- Hey, sleepy. Brought you some tea.
- [Chuckles]
1429
01:25:06,801 --> 01:25:11,338
Listen, I've been thinking. Now that
I really know what happened between us,
1430
01:25:11,406 --> 01:25:14,641
I think maybe we should just go back
to the way things used to be.
1431
01:25:14,709 --> 01:25:18,312
- Mmm.
- Our friendship really does mean a lot to me.
1432
01:25:18,379 --> 01:25:21,915
Yeah, well, I've been thinking too,
and, uh,
1433
01:25:21,983 --> 01:25:24,318
I think I've got enough friends.
1434
01:25:29,724 --> 01:25:31,792
[Whooshing Sound]
1435
01:25:48,409 --> 01:25:50,744
[Rattling]
1436
01:25:50,812 --> 01:25:55,616
- [Hissing] - One giant leap for man,
one step backward for Martians.
1437
01:25:55,683 --> 01:25:59,019
- Zoot?
- Hey, Tim, Lizzie! We're back!
1438
01:25:59,087 --> 01:26:02,856
- [Chuckles]
- Zoot-- [Grunts]
1439
01:26:02,924 --> 01:26:06,126
Oh! Geez!
Call a skycap, for cryin' out loud.
1440
01:26:06,194 --> 01:26:08,395
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
1441
01:26:08,463 --> 01:26:11,698
We've decided to stay here with you.
1442
01:26:11,766 --> 01:26:15,636
- Y-You what?
- I kept thinking how lonely I was gonna be without you.
1443
01:26:15,703 --> 01:26:17,871
And since you said
you were gonna miss me,
1444
01:26:17,939 --> 01:26:21,441
I thought I'd save us both
the heartache of separation.
1445
01:26:21,509 --> 01:26:23,610
Ya-hah! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
1446
01:26:23,678 --> 01:26:28,482
B-B-B-But, Martin, I can't miss you
if you don't go!
1447
01:26:28,550 --> 01:26:32,085
Exactly!
Isn't it wonderful?
1448
01:26:32,153 --> 01:26:35,556
Farewell, Neenurt!
1449
01:26:35,623 --> 01:26:38,125
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Where's he going?
1450
01:26:38,193 --> 01:26:40,894
To Mars, of course!
1451
01:26:40,962 --> 01:26:44,364
[Whooshing]
1452
01:26:45,733 --> 01:26:48,635
- Whoo! [Chuckling]
- Wh--
1453
01:26:48,703 --> 01:26:51,338
Martin. Martin.
What are you doing?
1454
01:26:51,406 --> 01:26:54,975
Tim, since we'll be living together,
let's do something about this furniture.
1455
01:26:55,043 --> 01:26:57,678
- Living together? What do you mean--
- I say we get rid of this couch,
1456
01:26:57,745 --> 01:27:01,248
and buy a hyperbolic resting chamber
like normal beings have.
1457
01:27:01,316 --> 01:27:04,017
- No! No! You're not staying here.
- Hey, who wants ice cream?
1458
01:27:04,085 --> 01:27:07,087
- [Chuckles]
- Tonight I'm craving praline swirl.
1459
01:27:07,155 --> 01:27:09,289
- Martin-- You think this is funny?
- [Chuckling]
1460
01:27:09,357 --> 01:27:11,291
You haven't seen him eat ice cream.
It's not pretty!
1461
01:27:11,359 --> 01:27:14,995
Rocky road! Rocky road! Rocky road!
[Shouts]
1462
01:27:15,063 --> 01:27:17,197
- Martin, you can't-- He doesn't sleep.
- [Shouting Continues]
1463
01:27:17,265 --> 01:27:19,533
He doesn't let me sleep.
This can't happen.
1464
01:27:19,601 --> 01:27:21,635
I can't have a Martian for a roommate.
1465
01:27:21,703 --> 01:27:24,104
I can't. I just--
1466
01:27:24,172 --> 01:27:26,340
- Oh, maybe I can.
- [Chuckles]
1467
01:27:26,407 --> 01:27:31,178
Zoot! We've got cookie dough.
Want some?
1468
01:27:31,246 --> 01:27:33,547
Zoot.
Zoot, where are you?
1469
01:27:33,615 --> 01:27:37,818
Bartender, a Mai "Tide", please.
1470
01:27:37,885 --> 01:27:41,021
Ah, Victoria's Secret.
1471
01:27:41,089 --> 01:27:44,491
You people know how to live!
1472
01:27:44,559 --> 01:27:47,094
[Chuckles]
Lycra.
1473
01:27:48,305 --> 01:27:54,799
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
116361
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
