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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:03,212 I think I have a crush on Curtis. 2 00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:05,214 Okay. 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,716 - Do you like this class? - Yeah, I do. 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,385 - How old are you? - How old are you? 5 00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,271 Tell us a little bit about yourself. 6 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,483 I'm a housewife. Uh... 7 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,193 I... 8 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,528 met my husband in college. 9 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:28,570 Uh... We have two kids. 10 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:32,074 I'm, um... an administrative assistant 11 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:33,325 for a real estate firm. 12 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:37,579 I like yoga, and, uh, jewelry making. 13 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:39,581 Well, no one knows until they know, 14 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,375 um, I'm a squirter. 15 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:45,546 Yeah, I like it rough. Really rough. 16 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,005 Do you have fetishes? 17 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,423 I like my feet licked. 18 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:51,510 - Your toes, or your... Yeah. - My whole... My whole foot. 19 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,011 From the top all the way down. 20 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,013 Have you ever had a threesome? 21 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:58,016 No, but I... No. 22 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,018 If you did, what would it be? 23 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:02,020 Two women? Two men? 24 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,814 A guy and a girl? 25 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,066 All of it sounds really good. 26 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,902 What's on your sexual bucket list? 27 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,905 Gang bangs. That's... That seems... 28 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,159 That seems like it's pushing the limit, 29 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:19,204 but I think... eventually, 30 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,206 it's something that I would love to do. 31 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,542 Have you ever done an adult video? 32 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,877 - Anything like this before? - No. 33 00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,588 What made you decide to do this? 34 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,259 I guess just curiosity, mostly, uh... 35 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:36,513 excitement, and just wonder, like, what this could be like, 36 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,223 and I thought it might be fun. 37 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,392 All right, ready to do this? 38 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,436 I'm ready. Okay then... 39 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,396 ...let's get things rolling. 40 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,856 Okay. Cool. 41 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,152 Hey, Leilani. 42 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,326 What happened? 43 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,665 Oh, no, that's awful. 44 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,795 Okay, well, I'll let everyone know. 45 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,185 Who is it this time? 46 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:27,230 Um... Roy Rafferty. 47 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:29,816 What a shame. 48 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,822 Dude, my dad... 49 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:40,410 he actually ran three half-marathons. 50 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,204 That's more than a full marathon. 51 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:45,582 It's a... It's one-and-a-half marathons. 52 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,417 Do you, uh... Do you mind if I disappear 53 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,044 your little Japanese fuck-me doll? 54 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:52,798 Her name is Hiroko. Call her by her name. 55 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,467 Yeah, Hiroko feels a little bit racist. 56 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,970 No, she... It can't be racist because I love her. 57 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,973 Yeah, it's still racist. 58 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:06,311 Um... Okay, on this episode of Snot or Cum? 59 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,813 Yeah. 60 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,982 - And this is crusty, I feel it. - Shit. 61 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,068 - I'm gonna... I'm gonna go. - I know. I haven't washed it. 62 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,986 I can't handle all this shit, so... 63 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,738 Oh, shit. All right. 64 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,907 Yo, will you tell your parents I say hi though? 65 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,243 - Yeah, sure. - Especially your mom, okay? 66 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,370 - 'Cause I'm gonna fuck your mom. - Oh. 67 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:25,914 I'm surprised you'd have the energy 68 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,749 after jerking off to your dad all day long. 69 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:33,130 Well, you'd be surprised. I have a lot of stamina. 70 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,298 Fucking... Will you get the door? 71 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,106 - Hi. - So, this is the, um... 72 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,191 the famous senior center. 73 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,610 Uh... Yep, it is. 74 00:03:57,028 --> 00:04:01,283 Um... I... Sorry, I wanted to apologize... 75 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,118 for the other night. I... 76 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:08,832 that was not cool, so... I hope I didn't... say anything weird. 77 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,842 It's okay. 78 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,971 Thank you, but it's okay. We were all... 79 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,684 Yeah. 80 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,644 So... 81 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:31,980 It was fun. 82 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,317 Yeah, it was. 83 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,948 Um... Eve... 84 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,827 Are you... Are you doing anything this weekend? 85 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:57,130 I've had a really... really long day, Julian. 86 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:58,882 I'm gonna... 87 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,842 just gonna go home. 88 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:03,887 I'll see you in class? 89 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,681 Yeah. 90 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,978 Okay. 91 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,200 Hey! 92 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,118 - These are from your mom. - Oh, my gosh. 93 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,703 - She sends her love. - Okay. 94 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,580 There's all kinds of things tucked in places. 95 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,208 - Just put it right here? - Uh-huh. Yeah. 96 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:37,212 Let me look at you. Yeah. I think college agrees with you. 97 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:40,048 Hey! 98 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:41,591 What's up, man? 99 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,261 Hey, these are pretty nice digs. 100 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,971 Yeah, no, it's not bad. It's, um... 101 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,138 Hello! 102 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,557 Hey, come on in. 103 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,893 Oh, my God. I haven't been in a dorm room in so long. 104 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:53,562 What's going on? 105 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,063 What do you think? 106 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,402 You didn't tell him we were coming, did you? 107 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,363 I'm sorry. 108 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,157 No, no, no. It... 109 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,660 He always thinks he did, but he always didn't. 110 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:09,786 Yeah. 111 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,121 - But we love him anyway. - Yeah. Yeah. 112 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,665 Hi. 113 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,667 No, no, it's fine. It's totally cool. 114 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:16,876 - I know he didn't. - Yeah. 115 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,587 Jonathan really wanted to see you. 116 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:21,840 Yeah! Hey, little man. What's up? 117 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,801 You still playing with, uh... Scruffy? 118 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:25,969 Stripey. 119 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,597 Oh, yeah. Stripey. 120 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,437 Okay, so, uh... 121 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,149 Dinner? You guys wanna go get some dinner? 122 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:43,278 Well, Jonathan's not crazy about restaurants... 123 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,655 - Right. - ...so we got some burritos. 124 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,241 - Oh. Yeah. - Yeah. 125 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:49,701 Where can we, uh... you wanna sit... 126 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:50,869 Oh, yeah. 127 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,871 Anywhere. Sorry, it's kind of a free for all. Um... 128 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,206 - What've we got here? - Wanna take off your bag? 129 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,499 There you go. 130 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,543 Hey, got your... Wanna beer? 131 00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,919 All right. 132 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,088 - Let's make it a party. - Yeah, you got it. 133 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,633 - It's a dorm party. - Dorm party. 134 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,510 Hey, can I get one of those? 135 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,137 Thank you. 136 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,351 Ready to make your dreams come true? 137 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,144 Not getting any younger. 138 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,813 Why are you doing this? 139 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,150 It's on my bucket list. 140 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,319 Are you nervous? 141 00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:27,989 No. 142 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,658 Why'd you wait so long? 143 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,161 I didn't think I was allowed. 144 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,665 You were always a good little girl, huh? 145 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,544 I don't wanna be a good girl anymore. 146 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,630 Well, it's your lucky day. 147 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:47,008 I've got two hot studs waiting right outside the door. 148 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:51,179 - You ready? - I'm so ready. 149 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,189 Oh, my... No. 150 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:15,829 Girls did not dress like that when I went to school. 151 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,205 You must be cleaning up. 152 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,710 Wanna try some waffle? 153 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:29,342 Beep, beep. It's backing up. Beep, beep, beep. It's crunchy. 154 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,929 - Yeah, you like that? - So, what's the plan for today? 155 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,056 I was thinking we could go to the football game. 156 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,224 If, um... 157 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,186 Guess not. 158 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,696 You try the applesauce? 159 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,442 You might not know this, but, uh... 160 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,695 I went to college for a couple of years. 161 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,656 I majored in partying and being stupid. 162 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,784 Yeah. 163 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,120 I was so ashamed... 164 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,581 when I flunked out. 165 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,958 All that wasted money... 166 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,213 I tried to apologize to my dad, 167 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,298 and he tells me, "Don't worry about it." 168 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,761 He says, "Come work for me. 169 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,138 It's all I ever wanted." 170 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,350 He made it into a good thing. 171 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,438 That's who this man was. 172 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,776 You know. 173 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,654 He loved and accepted everybody... 174 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,448 for who they were. 175 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,950 Never wanted you to be... 176 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,661 somebody you weren't. 177 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,289 This man's my hero. 178 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,000 I love you, Pop. 179 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,166 Hey, get away from him. 180 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,918 You got no right. 181 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,962 You kick him out for being some kind of pervert, 182 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,464 then you come here and you wanna give him a kiss? 183 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,550 Maybe you're the pervert. You ever think of that? 184 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,968 Please don't call me that, George. 185 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,845 Well, you sure got the nerve of a pervert. 186 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,015 I am so sorry for your loss. I'm so sor... 187 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,142 My father was a good man. 188 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,394 I'm sorry if I offended you, George. 189 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,812 Your father meant a lot to me. 190 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,398 I'm so sorry for your loss. It was a lovely service. 191 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:32,901 Okay. 192 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,489 - You wanna get a drink? - Ah, yes. Please. 193 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,074 - Yeah. Okay. - Yeah. Please. 194 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,468 I'm glad you're here. 195 00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,761 I'm glad I'm here, too. 196 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,139 Um... So, um... 197 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,975 you know, I was thinking about our conversation the other night... 198 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,311 and I was wondering... 199 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,563 if I could pick your writer brain a bit. 200 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,696 I didn't realize this was gonna be a brain pick. 201 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,865 I thought we were just hanging out. 202 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:24,327 Oh... Yeah. That... Me too. That's what we're doing. 203 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:30,625 Oh, God... I'm sorry then. Oh. I... 204 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,710 It's just that phrase. "Pick your brain." 205 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,921 - Oh. I'm sorry. - God, it's so aggressive. 206 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,464 Yeah, I didn't mean to put it that way. 207 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,549 No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted that... 208 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,676 It's fine. 209 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:49,060 Patriarchy. Patriarchy. Patriarchy. 210 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,186 Patriarchy. 211 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,230 Patriarchy. 212 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,440 I get it. Men suck. 213 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:57,276 - You made your point. - Yeah. 214 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,488 Patriarchy. Patriarchy. Patriarchy. 215 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,408 - Sorry. Excuse me. - No, excuse me. 216 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:04,659 - Sorry. - Back away. 217 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:18,840 Patriarchy. Patriarchy. Patriarchy. 218 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,508 Go long. 219 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,219 Go long! 220 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,733 Oh! 221 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,362 Hey, you guys wanna hit those food trucks? 222 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,239 Aw, I love them... You hungry, man? 223 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:44,782 They make me miss Austin so much. 224 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,951 Okay, I get it. You miss Austin. We'll visit. 225 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:50,079 You like trucks, right, buddy? 226 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,289 Right? 227 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,124 We're the Little Monsters, and we'd like to welcome 228 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,626 all you parents to BSU. 229 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,004 One, two, three, four. 230 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,137 All right, hold on, John. 231 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,766 Did he touch you? Can I touch you? 232 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,100 Do you want your headphones? 233 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,490 Daddy's here. You're safe. You're safe. 234 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,741 Okay, breathe deep. 235 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,913 There you go. Can you take a deep breath? 236 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,043 There you go, there you go. 237 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,881 I worked at McDonald's in a food court in high school. 238 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,675 I used to steal the Beanie Babies 239 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,969 from the Happy Meals and sell them on the side. 240 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,181 Well, when I worked at Anthropologie, 241 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,518 I used steal defective dresses, and then, my friends 242 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,312 would return them for cash and I would keep a cut. 243 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,107 Okay, so you're a mob boss. 244 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,734 Oh, yeah. That's right. You scared now? 245 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,570 Nah. 246 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,364 You can't hold people responsible 247 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,616 for stuff they did when they were teenagers. 248 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,701 Their brains haven't fully developed yet. 249 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:11,786 I was 31. 250 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,538 - And the assistant manager. - What? 251 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,414 Okay, that's definitely a crime. 252 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,543 Do you know how much adjunct professors get paid? 253 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,463 I do. 254 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,299 I guess you gotta make your money somewhere, huh? 255 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,468 At least I didn't steal from children. 256 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,976 God, I haven't done that in so long. 257 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:39,313 Yeah? 258 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,192 Yep. 259 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,736 Okay, I've never used one of these though, so... 260 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,948 Well, it's a vape. You just kinda suck in. 261 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,784 - Okay. I don't press anything on the side. - No. 262 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,161 Okay. I get it. 263 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:08,676 - Thank you. - Mm-hm. 264 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:18,519 Do you think Roy knew he was losing it at the end? 265 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,314 I know he did. 266 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,359 You know, he was scared. 267 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,363 What do you think that feels like? 268 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:31,866 Hopeless. 269 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,914 Just floating away from... 270 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:42,668 everyone you love. 271 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,217 Do you wanna get in a hot tub? 272 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,680 Do you have one? 273 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:57,725 No. But my neighbors do and they're not here. 274 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,271 Did they say you can get in that hot tub? 275 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,023 I... They didn't say I couldn't. 276 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,114 You... You need a tie for your door. The handle. 277 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,450 - You know about that? - You're so old. 278 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,743 I'm so old. 279 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,287 Well, I'll lend you a tie if you need it. 280 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,748 - I do. I don't have a tie. - That'll be your care package. 281 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,504 Maybe you should play some intramurals. 282 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,422 Might be kinda fun to be on a team again. 283 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,300 Yeah. Maybe. 284 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,972 So, look, I think we're gonna have to head back tonight. 285 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,725 Yeah, I know it's a bummer, but, uh... 286 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,103 Johnathan needs to be in familiar surroundings. 287 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,981 And, uh... you know. 288 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:48,943 Yeah. I get it. 289 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,486 Look, we shouldn't have brought him. 290 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,698 Bethany really pushed for it, and, uh... 291 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,116 Why is he your favorite? 292 00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:58,995 What? 293 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:03,916 That's not true. 294 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,253 It is, though. 295 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:08,838 Come on. 296 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,341 It's supposed to be, like, our weekend. 297 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,218 I... I just didn't... 298 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,304 - I know. I know. - So, I dunno. I dunno. 299 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,055 - I'm sorry it's disappointing. - It's dumb. 300 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,265 It's... 301 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,520 Look, here's the thing. 302 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,776 Jonathan has so many... needs. 303 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,155 And you don't. 304 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,660 I know it's not fair. 305 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,457 But the thing is, is you're good. 306 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,045 You're good. I don't have to worry about you. 307 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,925 You're... You're so smart. You are good at sports. 308 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,553 You're... People like you. People love you. 309 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,804 Everything... Things... 310 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,474 I don't need to worry about you. 311 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,645 You're good. Yeah? 312 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,152 - Yeah. - Yeah. Good. 313 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,786 It's not here. 314 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,287 You sure it's not in your room? 315 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,748 No, we checked everywhere. Did you look in the backpack? 316 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:26,916 Yeah, like six times. 317 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,419 Let's just go. We'll deal with it at home. 318 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,588 Brendan, you'll let us know if you find Stripey. 319 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,426 Thank you for letting us crash this weekend. 320 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,388 Sorry. 321 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,061 All right. 322 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,022 Take care of yourself. 323 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,776 Come on, you got this. 324 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,238 Thanks. 325 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,188 God, she sucks. 326 00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:35,943 She was... She's a bitch, but I loved her. 327 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,029 It was for the best, you know. 328 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,574 - Seeing anybody now? - No... 329 00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:45,453 Just like random Tinder people. But... 330 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,915 it's bad, I know, but it's... 331 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,752 Sometimes, you just need to get fucked, right? 332 00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:55,546 I mean, I can't... I just cannot imagine having sex 333 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,339 - with somebody that you've just... - It's weird! 334 00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,216 - ...met. - It's weird. 335 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,593 But it's better than nothing. 336 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,182 My mom had this thing... 337 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:12,772 where our next-door neighbor who was, um... a retired cop. 338 00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,523 He used to come over to the house sometimes 339 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,526 when his wife was working the graveyard shifts, 340 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:21,989 and they would just like cuddle on the couch together... 341 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:23,866 and watch TV. 342 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,660 I think that's all they did. 343 00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:32,291 They just sat there. She called him her TV buddy. 344 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,711 I know. 345 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,506 But then, his wife retired and then it stopped. 346 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:41,926 That sounds really nice. 347 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,344 I want a TV buddy. 348 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:46,806 - Yeah. Totally. - Yeah. 349 00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:49,475 Actually, I wrecked both my first two cars. 350 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,936 - Oh, really? - Yeah, and like the first one within two weeks. 351 00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:53,437 How'd you do that? 352 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:55,272 I'm just a terrible driver honestly. 353 00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:57,066 God. That's terrible. 354 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,235 - Um... Here I am. - Oh. 355 00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:02,196 Here you are. 356 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:09,537 Uh... So, I have an essay in this new lit magazine, 357 00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:10,996 and they're having a launch party 358 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,414 in Brooklyn on Wednesday. 359 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,959 You should come with me. 360 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,169 You mean like as your date? 361 00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,338 - Hm? - Yeah. 362 00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:25,386 Um... You know, Wednesdays are tough, 363 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,304 - but let me see... - Okay. 364 00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:29,098 Don't worry about it. I... I didn't. 365 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,099 Hey, wait! 366 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,767 No. Have a good night, Curtis. 367 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,900 The answer is yes, I have. 368 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,527 But just one time. 369 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:46,365 Was it with two... two women... 370 00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:48,868 and two... or and... 371 00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,120 or was it with two women... 372 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,038 ...or was it with two men? 373 00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,416 Or one woman and one man? 374 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:56,584 It was three women. 375 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:58,586 Ah. 376 00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:01,922 It was my ex, and then her ex, so... 377 00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:05,092 very complicated. 378 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,887 Oh... Okay. 379 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,265 What about you? What's your deal? What's your thing? 380 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,562 I mean, I th... It's weird. I've... 381 00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:19,648 I mean, I... 382 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:23,652 - My son went away to college... - Mm-hm. 383 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:27,114 I don't know. Ever since then, I've been having these... 384 00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:32,161 - What? - Like... 385 00:23:33,287 --> 00:23:34,538 crazy fantasies. 386 00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:36,332 Like crazy fantasies. 387 00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:38,042 Uh... 388 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,710 It's insane. 389 00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:41,211 Well, what are you gonna do about 'em? 390 00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:43,297 Nothing! 391 00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:47,635 Do it! 392 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:52,806 Pervert. 393 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:45,961 I needed that. Thank you. 394 00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:48,422 Oh... Oh... Okay. 395 00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:51,341 Thank you so much for taking care of me. 396 00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:52,342 Yeah, it was fun. 397 00:25:52,426 --> 00:25:55,596 - Oh, it was so much fun. - Yeah. 398 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:57,765 Yeah. 399 00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,601 We should do this again. 400 00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:02,561 Yeah, I... I would love that, 401 00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:05,522 and next time, maybe we'll just... 402 00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:07,232 watch a movie or... 403 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,781 Oh, my God. 404 00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:16,325 - Oh, shit. - Do... 405 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,702 - Amanda, I am so sorry. - Don't be. 406 00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,913 - Why? - No, this is horrible. 407 00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:22,206 - Don't be sorry! - I'm really... 408 00:26:22,289 --> 00:26:24,374 - Don't be sorry! It's okay. - I really fucked this. 409 00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:26,335 - I'm so sorry. - It is fine. 410 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:27,795 Oh, my God. 411 00:26:27,878 --> 00:26:29,129 - Okay. - Okay. 412 00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:33,217 I'm just gonna go 'cause I... I'm sorry. 413 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,552 - Don't be sorry. - Oh, my God. 414 00:26:35,636 --> 00:26:37,179 - I'm fine. - Okay. 415 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:39,556 - You are? 'Cause I... - I'm okay. Are you okay? 416 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,266 - I'm so fine. I'm just... - Okay. 417 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:42,392 I feel... I'm nervous. 418 00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:44,561 Well, I was just worried that you're... 419 00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:46,939 - Okay. - No, I am great. 420 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:48,398 Okay. 421 00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:50,192 - Okay. Do you need help? - Is there a trick to this? 422 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,902 No, no, no. It's just a normal lock. 423 00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:53,320 - It's a normal lock. - Oh, it's locked. 424 00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:55,948 - Okay, I thought it was a... - Yeah. No, I keep it... 425 00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:57,950 Okay, thank you so much. 426 00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,327 - Sorry. Oh, my God. Okay. - You're welcome. 427 00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:23,702 High school, everyone liked me. Now I'm just like, the bad guy. 428 00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:25,579 Welcome to feeling uncomfortable. 429 00:28:25,913 --> 00:28:27,331 I've been uncomfortable! 430 00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:31,209 I really thought that Curtis and I had a special connection. 431 00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:32,961 Have you ever dated a trans person? 432 00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:34,504 Have you ever dated a black person? 433 00:28:34,588 --> 00:28:36,173 - Yeah. - Oh. 434 00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:39,843 We are in such a dry period. It's been quite a while. 435 00:28:39,927 --> 00:28:41,094 Same with me. 436 00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:44,681 - Oh. - Sorry. 437 00:28:44,765 --> 00:28:45,724 You should be. 438 00:28:46,224 --> 00:28:47,643 How can I make it up to you? 30362

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