Original subtitles

Can you spare a penny please?

I can spare you a slap on the face

This is the first day I'm in business

You don't have to be so mean

Young Master

Can you change this for me please?

So little,

what can I change it for?

It's not

that bad

Just name a price

Don't let it be blown away

Hold that

Thanks

Damn!

Who are you? How do you know my name?

Are you Dam?

I just came back from Vietnam, Dam, your uncle...

Damn my uncle?

No, your uncle who's name is Dam

I see

What about him?

What are you really up to?

Your uncle has a letter

and a package for you

Here

Young Master, I can't read

What does the letter say?

To Mr. Dam

My nephew

Mr. Ma will give you

what I've sold the house for

Which are 20 taels of gold

The forth day of June

Can you change this for me?

Let's go and have some tea

Thanks

It weighs nearly 28 liang

That fool thought it weighs only 20 liang

We're getting rich

Sir, have you weighed the gold?

Yes, but it is underweight

I'll change it for you though

I'll change it for you though

1 tael of gold exchanges for 6 coins

20 taels for 120. You keep it.

A receipt will make this transaction proper

I didn't know money would come by itself

Aren't you going to count the money?

I trust you Let's go and have some tea

I can't leave the shop

I'll be at the Teahouse,

come if you can

You wait and see

What a fool

Wei, why aren't you keeping the shop?

Why should l?

I can buy a woman now

You've gone rich?

This fool came to the shop this morning

He gave me eight taels of gold

Did he really?

His gold weighed 28 taels

But I only

paid him for 20

Where is that piece of gold?

Take a look

It turns out that

you've been the fool

This is not gold

So that man is a cheat

He said

he would be at the Teahouse

Let's go there

Come!

There's no such thing as easy money

He's the one

Have a seat, have some tea

Waiter

Stop playing innocent, you cheat

Wait a minute,

whom have I cheated?

You dared to use counterfeit gold

And you dare to yell at me

Beat him up

What's the matter?

Captain, you've come at the right time

This kid came to my shop

He changed taels of counterfeit gold

That's right

I gave him

a piece of genuine gold

Anyone can tell this is not gold

But this piece

is not the one I gave you

Shut up

You said this gold didn't belong to you

Can you prove it?

Mine is a smaller piece

How much does yours weigh?

My uncle sent it to me

from Vietnam

It weighs 20 taels

This is a letter

Young Master gave me this receipt

Fellows, bring me our official scale

Give it to me

How heavy did you say?

20 taels

It's more than that

It weighs 28 taels

How could it be mine then?

Mine couldn't possibly

weigh 28 taels

Otherwise I should have

been given more money

Captain

And he only gave me 20 taels' worth

This is counterfeit money too

You two are really ruthless

Uncle, all that money you've save so hard

They've swindled it out of me

Shut up. It's made of rice

What the hell

are you two doing?

They might not have done it on purpose

I'm sure they'll pay for it

Won't you?

Of course we will

With me here,

nobody would dare to bully you

Don't you ever let me

catch you cheating again?

I didn't know it would be so easy

Our 2 brains together

means 2 bags of money

Let's split the money then

Take your hat off

What's that noise?

That's the weather report

What the hell is that?

It says

we'd better hurry

One for me, one for you

One for me, one for you

One for me, one for you

Now, would you say that's fair?

Yes, I've always trusted your work

You take my bag and I take yours

They are both the same

Like hell they are, yours is much bigger

Don't you know I have hernia?

That's why mine are always bigger

You are all words

Knock it off

Wher did you go?

There's no reason for it's disappearence.

I guess I was wrong

Your acting deserves

the bigger share

No, you deserve it

It was your idea

I should take the smaller bag

No, you shouldn't, I should

This is all we've got left

We'd better not fight anymore

Well, it's been a lucky day

Why don't we go gambling?

You are the banker

You'd better not fool around here

This is a casino

Do I look like fooling around?

Can't you tell I'm rich?

Place your bets now

We are going to win

Please your bets now

Pay

Hold it, I want to count the money

Go ahead and have fun

Don't bother, kid

I guess you want

to be beaten up

Knock it off before I get mad

I'm going to use Tsai Boxing

I don't think you'll be able to

I'd better use "pierce, throw, press, cut, and plunge"

Pierce, throw, press, cut, and plunge

You know Tsai Boxing too

Of course

I won't hit you then

But you said you wouldn't hit me

Hitting is not the same as kicking

How useful

Splendid

Stop fighting. Stop fighting

How dare you

to make fun of this place?

It's all my fault

I told him not to, but he didn't listen

Why did you do it?

I told you

it was not right

Stop grumbling

It's my fault

Our apologies, we were wrong

I'll kill you both

next times

Don't stand there

Next time you won't be able to walk

You almost got us both killed

I didn't know it'd be like this

Well, we can still use this

Don't you covet

this family treasure of mine

But we are starving

Fresh fish for sale

Let's see what you can do

Don't buy any

if you don't think they're fresh?

Are they fresh?

Of course they are

Don't buy any if they are not

These are all dead I won't pay for them

Fried fish, fish courry

Fish rolls

And a fish soup

Would you like anything besides fish?

No, I've a lot of fish here

Give me a basket

Here comes the basket

Hurry!

How are we going to pay

for the rice?

And the tea as well

I have an idea

I only need one thing

What's that?

An idiot

Where can we find one?

Right behind us

Well? That's a family treasure

Hurry

Be careful

I'm sorry

Captain

He said you stole his bag

Don't you dare to be rude with me?

Only I can afford to be rude

You don't look like

a thief though

Are you sure

that's your bag?

Are you positive?

Of course I am, this is mine

Can you prove it?

There's a ring wrapped in red

With my father's name on it

Open the bag for me

I couldn't find any ring

Are you sure?

I'm positive

No one dares to steal

in my territory

You'd better not have any funny ideas

Yes, sir

Why couldn't the ring be found?

I swear it was inside the bag

But I couldn't find it

I don't understand

What a waste of time

That's some courage you have

Trying to swindle us?

Give us back the ring

The ring?

There are quite a few in this place

We'll have to beat you up

Let's get him

Are you all right?

Yes. Get him

Are you all right? Get him

Give me time to pant

Now, who's the tough one here?

And who's being beaten up?

Is your arm all right?

Don't touch me

I'll touch him then

Take your broken ring back

It wasn't broken

It wasn't?

It is now

Oh my God, it's broken

Don't go after him

He's too good a fighter

What are we going

to live on then?

Don't panic. I'll set up a trap

And lure him into it

He'll support us

And we'll learn his art

Then we'll

get rid of him

If we could fight

as well as he does

We'd never starve

Master, the two of us

Have been street fighters all our lives?

We have never been beaten

Except that time by you

We'll give you a chance

to be our teacher

That's lucky of you

Why?

We are handsome and we behave ourselves

We are the cream of the crop

And we are strong

and know no vice

Why don't you be janitors then?

We want to be your servants

In case something

happens to you

We can take care of you

But if something happens to you two

I wouldn't know whom to save first

Just look at your stupid selves

We've been studying Kung Fu

since we're born

Pierce, throw, press, cut, plunge of Tsai Boxing

Lift, drift, push, thrust, stretch of Hung Boxing

Grab, tackle, slap, elbow, drop of Yung Boxing

Grab, tackle, slap, elbow drop

And hypnotized fighting: point, squeeze, jump, shake, dash

What do you need

a teacher for then?

I've never studies

Kung Fu though

Never?

Never

Then you won't make it

But I've seen

Little Pao practicing

If you teach me all you know

Your art won't be lost

if you drop dead

Why didn't you help out?

You kept

displeasing him

You have to flatter him

But I don't know how to flatter

I never did

Thanks. Wait a minute

How many of you, sirs?

Can't you tell?

Oh, three of you

One sits and two stand

What would you like to order?

A steamed

Chicken

Cabbage

Sit here

Please sit down

With beef

Fried

Seafood de luxe

One bowl of rice

It'd better be

Right away

Bring me 2 more bowls of rice

Sit

What are you waiting for?

Smart of you

It's delicious

Why all this politeness?

It should be that way

Are you two full?

Yes. What about you?

I'm fine

The check please

Coming!

3 bits of silver please

3 bits of silver

I'll hold it for you

All right

Who's an ordinary person here?

How do I know?

But I gave you some money

the other day

Our boss lost in gambling

You're out of luck then

You are trying to bully me

So?

Stop fighting

Are you paying?

No

Who sent you?

Thanks

Don't mention it

Who are you?

so?

Ordinary persons?

We've found them

Let's get it over with

I didn't know he's that good

He's really good

Where did you learn that from?

I learned it by myself

Whose meaner, you or us?

You

That stupid...

Who's going to pay for this?

I will

That should cover your loss

Thank you

Teacher was right

Ordinary persons are no matches for us

You two are such good fighters

Thank you

I think...

Don't bother

We are fine

Where are we going now?

Just stroll around

It's going to be four

Place you bets now

Four again

Spot on, right?

Right!

What are you doing?

I want to play two games

I'm betting on four again

One for your? Four for me

Here we go

I'm sorry, something's in my throat

One

So it's one this time

What's that button for?

It's yours

I don't have buttons like that

Are you trying to cheat?

Relax; I'll solve your problem

Gentlemen, it's our celebration day today

We're closing now Please go home

What's the matter?

You can practice your punches

And you can practice your kicks

Beat them up for me

One, two, three, four Four again

It's going to be an even number

I told you

Get lost

Wait a minute

What's the matter?

Relax

Why didn't you

bend down further?

I'll do that next time

Hurry, don't keep looking around

Where's my money?

A beggar

Are you trying to rob a beggar?

I'll tell you later

You can go back now

Why do you keep teasing us?

This time...

I'm buying you a nice meal

Thanks a lot

We're full

Move!

Please!

Come over and help me

Why did you hit him?

Didn't I tell you

not to hit him?

He hit you again I'll help you up

Good

Yipao, why do you keep hitting me?

Taipao, don't let the chance slip away

Come on, will you hurry please?

Yes, seize the chance

Why do you keep hitting me?

Right, why does he keep hitting you?

Beat him up

Are you crazy, Taipao?

You'd better save that meal

for yourselves

It's your fault

Who are you looking for?

Where's Chia?

Are you looking for our teacher?

We don't know where he is

I didn't know he had two students

Let me see if you're any good

You two are pretty good

Thank you

Painter

What's the matter, Matchmaker?

Chia taught them

to fight as a pair

Why don't we break them up?

Hey, this one looks like your aunt

What about my aunt?

Your aunt is my aunt too

You must be tired of living

You two

are no match for us

Tell your teacher

to find us at the inn

Leave your names

We are not

ordinary persons

Let's go, Painter

They're not ordinary persons,

no wonder they beat us

Teacher

Two extraordinary persons

just came

They said they were staying at...

The inn?

They'll wait for you there

So they've found me

I've been waiting for them

Who are they?

They are my sworn enemies

How are you going to handle them?

We'll have a duel

at the forest tomorrow

I'll deal with

Matchmaker myself

You take care of Painter for me

Fight as a pair

Iike I've taught you to

I'm sure you'll beat him

And they won't be able to leave the forest

How could you be so careless?

I was too excited

It's fun

Kick!

I told you not to be careless

He's not as smart as you

Thank you

Thank you

Don't mention it

You've worked hard

and done well today

We're supposed to

I have something else to do

Change and meet me

at the teahouse

I'll buy you a nice meal

Fantastic

Get going now

Meat loaf

Have you seen these three?

No

Can I get you something?

Some tea

Right away, sirs

Have you seen this man?

No, we haven't

Didn't we run into him?

Why don't you join us

for a cup of tea?

Have you seen this man?

Of course we have, he's our teacher

That looks just like him

That must be our teacher's name

I don't even have to look

Where's he now?

At home of course

No. 1, East Boulevard

Have a cup of tea

What's the hurry?

Old fox

It's you, Tiger

Surprised?

I didn't know you'd find me so soon

You were so sly

You run away on

your two accomplices

Leaving them in jail

They've been released

and after you

They've found me already

Where are they now?

You'll see them in a while

Did you kill them?

Are you going to put up a fight?

Of course I am

Come on

Wait here,

I'm going to fetch teacher

Hurry back

Killing me would cost you

one more charge

You've committed

so many crimes already

You won't get away with it

Go talk to your friends in hell

Why did teacher carry the corpse inside?

Yipao said he was coming

to fetch you

Did he come back?

Yes, a long time ago

Where can he be?

Yipao, Yipao!

Why you are here?

Weren't you coming back for teacher?

Come over here

See, Yipao is here

Did you see everything?

More or less

What are you two talking about?

What's the matter?

Teacher, teacher

What happened, Yipao?

Stay away, Taipao

Stop it, teacher

Stop or I'm going to fight back

You dare to fight your teacher?

Why not, you hit my brother

Don't you abuse your seniority?

Let's go, Taipao

We'll apply

what we've learned from him

Two against one

Haven't you seen this before?

Yipao, Yipao!

There's no way we can win

Try to get away

It's stupid for both of us to die

You leave away

I'm not leaving

Run, Yipao, run

What's the hesitation?

Run, Yipao, run

Taipao

I've got it

Where's my chicken?

Not spicy enough?

Yes, how do you know?

The chicken was mine

But your name was not on it

Sure it was

Show me

It was marked on your drumstick

Why couldn't I find it?

Show me when you've found it

You've eaten that portion already

You lack wine and I lack food

Why don't we share

what we have?

Vinegar?

That was the wrong bottle

Give me some water

This water tastes funny

What kind of water is this?

Oh, I just used it

to wash my feet

You dare to make fun of me?

Enough? All right, get up

Have a sleep

Uncle Fatty

You called me uncle

I bet you want a favor from me

I... I...

Well?

You want to crack

the nuts for me?

I want to...

Oh, you wanted to eat them?

But I've eaten them all now

I didn't mean that

You want to wish me a happy new year?

But it's only August

It's about what you've just...

You want to be my student

So that I'll pay

for your room and board

As well as other expenses

No way

Stinky fatly

Waiter, one more bowl please

Another one please

What kind of Kung Fu was that?

Garbage Boxing

Garbage Boxing?

I wouldn't be able to do those tricks

But I can do some tricks you can't do

I can do any tricks

You want to bet?

Teach me your tricks if you loss

What if I win?

I'll take over

your begging job

And bring you

food everyday

What do you say?

You'd better know

how to beg

You hold this for people to guess what it is

Under no circumstances

should you reveal it

Or else you lose

That's simple

Guess what he's holding in his hand

One dollar for the correct answer

Candies

A coin

Peanuts

Nuts

There's noting in his hand

I think it's a stone

You're all wrong

What's in his hand?

They're all wrong

Let us see what it is

Come on!

It's a piece of charcoal

Surprised?

You were not supposed

to reveal it

I know

But you did

So?

I'm your student then

Boss

Smart head

Teacher

Don't yell. Get started

It went in?

A little

Try again

It went in further?

Yes

Just don't bend your legs

Do ten consecutive somersaults

Get started

This is to strengthen your waist and legs

Why all this trouble?

Just give me some

of Popeye's spinaches

And I'll be like Hercules

If I had wings

I would have

flown away

Let go, now

It's like finding a buoy at sea

What's that?

I won't let go

So I am the buoy at sea

Work hard

I will

Grab the neck

What's so funny? Once again

Garbage Boxing

Tsai Boxing

Monkey moves

Feeling good?

Very

It feels even better now

Get up and do it again

I feel short-winded

I'll teach you how to avoid that

Here we go

That's simple

Show me all the moves

I've taught you

Yes, sir

How was that?

Not good enough. One more time

I've had enough

Shut up and carry on

I can't get up

Of course you can

Get up and jump

Teacher

Teacher, don't!

Then jump

Faster, teacher

Faster, faster

How come it's so slow

What happened, teacher?

I feel short-winded

Really?

I'll teach you

how to avoid that

Come on, jump!

Taipao, Taipao!

I'm Big Eyes, not Taipao

I'm sorry

Chia!

Old fool

It's you, Yipao

How can you...

beat your teacher?

But you didn't...

teach me those?

You're still...

not good enough

Are you sure?

I'll show you some more moves

Well?

The more experienced the better

The more ruthless too

Where do you think you're going?

Stop it, fellows

Please don't fight anymore

I don't want to fight, but he does

I told you you're...

Not good enough

Stay out of this

Are you Beggar, the detective?

Absolutely

Stop it!

Trying to be smart?

Please don't fight anymore

We're doomed to lose

Not with me here

Monkey

He's the good monkey and I'm the bad one

You're too heavy

You can't hit anymore

Catch!

I didn't know you're a detective

I had an assistant who ran off on me

Ku killed him

So you used me to help you kill Ku

And I helped you to avenge your brother

Can you walk?

I don't think so, you'd better carry me