Original subtitles

ln the Song Dynasty

there lived a famous Judge Bao Qing Tian

He's got an elite team

featuring legendary zhan zhao

Bao has the license to kill

He's renowned for

his dedication and fairness

These are peaceful times

Today is November 7th

A bad day

l can't pull out my sword

zhan, hurry up. We've got work to do

zhan, drink your soya milk

before zhang Long drinks yours too

lf you didn't eat my cruller

l wouldn't be drinking soya milk

You don't think he's gone mad?

Damn. What's wrong with it?

Leave it

Judge will be mad if we don't go now

Are you talking about me?

Judge Bao

We're just talking about zhan

lnspector zhan let the proceedings begin

Judge Bao speaks

lt is our duty to relieve His Majesty's burdens

Please

As imperial officials

citizens are our own children

Let's proceed

Justice Bao rules the district court

Justice prevails under lron Face

Brave men come to promote his cost

Wang and Ma are at his side

Flying Mouse is light as wind

Striding Mouse is a good chap

Drilling Mouse has fists of steel

Diving Mouse fights with might

Court

Judge Bao, two hours have passed

Boring

Not bad

There had not been a case for three months

lt's a blessing

Gongsun, what's to bless?

The Guizhou magistrate rapes

The Xuzhou magistrate robs

Judge Bao

please let me go after them

Xuzhou and Guizhou are not our jurisdiction

Judge, we can't interfere

l knew you'd say that

l'll go arrest them now and bring them here

and make this our case

Don't

Why not?

The Xuzhou magistrate. Coward

Silence

You can stop now

Judge Bao is really busy

l've known him as a child

of course l can see him

What's up?

Judge Bao, l've known you long enough

you must help me

He's the one you want

Judge Bao, l've known you long enough

you must help me

Judge Bao, l've known you long enough

you must help me

Grandma Heung, tell me your grievance

l need rhino skin

for my husband's skin disease

This rhino skin is too tough

Can l borrow

lnspector zhan's sword to help me cut it?

That's zhan over there

lnspector zhan may l borrow your famous sword

Judge Bao

You're joking?

Grandma Heung, but his sword is for...

Judge Bao will not

let my husband itching for life

lnspector zhan

Judge Bao

Since this is the only case

in the district

What do you say?

oK

Weng, Ma

Here

l know l owe you

Ten years

l know

Blackie

l said l know

Blackie, ten long years

We've put away many criminals

Everyone knows

our great names

What have we done the last few years?

Nothing

We've turned into garbage

Useless

We are not garbage

This city is like the dipper

We're the water in it

one drop less will make a huge

difference

Doesn't it feel warmer in a tub?

oK. Sit down

Sit down

Good

Do l have a choice?

No choice

Just like you must use soap when you wash

Just let it go

Alright

Why don't you take a vacation

and go see some friends

When you've had enough fun

come back to the dipper

Good idea

Wait for me

Hurry back. Yes, sir

l haven't shown my face for ten years now

They'll be shocked to see me

l, Chang the Flying Spider

paid a surprise visit

to the Judge's court alone

Guess whom l bummed into?

lt is Bao's top man

zhan

We fought for

300 rounds

Bullshit

Why didn't the other guards come?

Listen

lt was before dusk

We fought on the street. Shop, roof

so no one saw us

We had fireworks that night at the magistrate court

There are people everywhere

How come

no one heard a thing?

Who are you?

Never seen your face before

Where are you come from? What's your name?

Why are you here?

Call me Pedestrian A

Pedestrian A? Go away

You don't know whom you're talking to

l'm not bluffing. lt's true

He is lying

Chang, stop lying

l

300 rounds?

You creamed zhan

in less than 100 rounds

l saw it clearly that night

Brother Bai saw everything

l have a solid witness

Great, huh?

Go away kid

Today's the Martial Arts Forum

let's not talk about that old-timer zhao

Waiter. Yes sir

Tonight's my treat. Everyone must drink

Great

Cheers

This Bai from Cave lsland

He's one of the best

one of the best

Grandpa. Grandpa

Good

Grandpa

You still have to pay me back

l've already repaid you

Do you know who l am?

l'm the son of lmperial Councilor Pang

Who dared to hit me?

Great leg work

of course

lf you don't want your leg like this forever

l'll repay the $50 he owes

You've got $50, you've got women

Yi Hong Night Club is on sale

Sure

Good

l figure Bai will go to the lmperial Councilor's house

this evening

l thought l was the smart one

What's wrong with this world?

Give me a skewer

Sugar beetlenut

Sugar beetlenut

Are you new in town?

What do you want?

Keep your voice down

Look below

Raise your foot. Can you see it?

Can you see it or not?

See what?

That leaf is my reservation

Go away

Stupid

How much did you spend this month?

Dad. l didn't spend a lot

Dad. l'm a loan shark

l've earned $50 today

ldiot

l've earned at least $10,000 on every loan

And you're satisfied at $50?

lf you want to be evil

you have to do it right

Dad. You're a genius

Satisfied at $50?

Where's the quotation?

Got it right here

Look

Dad

Judge Bao's head is only worth $300?

ldiot. Come here

Come here. Why did you hit me?

Look

Weng, Ma, zhang and zhao tallied

to $8000

zhan alone is another $100,000

With zhan out of the way

Bao is mine

Don't you get it?

Dad, l never learned to read

l can't read, you know that

You're such a disgrace Why hit me again?

East Wing is on fire

Fire's escalating

Coming to the West Wing

lt's gonna burn the concubines

Where's the 72nd concubine?

Dad. Wait for me

l want to get my 42nd

and 36th

So quick?

You again

Dad. Not again

Bai

over here

Bai, his money is all here

You know about the Hebei Drought

l'll make sure it gets there tomorrow

So long

Pedestrian A

Good partner

Always

lt is freezing, why does he want a fan?

To block the wind

Nothing is what it seems, right?

Right

Eunuch Kuo, is His Majesty up yet?

Say no more His Majesty will see no one today

Judge Bao needs to see His Majesty

Go home

Stop

Judge Bao, why don't we...

No

l'm the Head Eunuch do you really want to hit me?

Yes, l do

lnspector zhan

Don't, please

Judge Bao

Your Royal Highness

lt's been a long time

Please accept my bow

Please, l'm too honored

You definitely deserve it

Without you, there will be no justice

in this country

Mr. Gongsun. lnspector zhan

Your Royal Highness

Bao, have you met my adopted sister Yue Hua?

Ms. Yue Hua, an honor

The honor is all mine

l've heard from Eunuch Chen

that you'll be blocked today

l'm here to unblock it

Thanks, Your Highness

Greetings to the Royal Highness Save it

Eunuch Guo

Where's His Majesty?

lnside

Judge Bao, please

Your Royal Highness

His Majesty will not see any visitors today

Are you minding my business?

As the Empress-appointed Head Eunuch

l've got to intervene

l'll have your head now

even the Empress can't save you

Judge Bao, the same old dirty trick

Your Majesty

Long live Your Majesty

Long live Your Majesty Long live Your Majesty

You may rise

Thank you. Thank you

Stupid Chen His Majesty is listening to the music

How dare you bring these intruders?

How ridiculous

Are you trying to cause trouble?

This is not trouble

l'll take the blame

Judge Bao has urgent matters to report to His Majesty

That's why it's here

Please forgive me

Bullshit

lf Bao says it's urgent, it's urgent

Don't worry

Thank you, Your Majesty

Judge Bao, what is the matter?

Your Majesty

lnspector zhan overheard that

Councilor Pang is scheming

to assassinate me

Your Majesty

As a loyal servant

and father of the Empress

how can this be possible?

lnspector zhan has got

a target quotation

How dare you

lf l attempt such devious acts

l'm guilty as charged

As the Economics Councilor

it's imminent that l know all the existing rates

The quotation is for my reference

of course. A quotation means nothing

My name is not here

That's a serious crime

Judge Bao, are you trying

to frame my father?

Everyone just calm down

Let me show you my l-ching plate

it can reveal the past and future

Bao and brother, come with me

Stir it up

Judge Bao, help me

You stir it

Help you with what? Your Majesty

How? Stop stirring up this mess

You're no match for the Empress

But they really want to assassinate me

Pang is my father-in-law

l'm the one who will suffer

You see her once every few months

but l'm stuck with her every night

Come stir it too

Slowly

You wanna stir me up for good?

lf Pang wants you dead

you better be really careful

l've stirred up this verdict

Last night, lnspector zhan searched lmperial Councilor's house

he discovered the quotation

But as a good citizen, he returned this to the appropriate owner

Good job

Learn from zhan, return all found items

to their rightful owners

Resume the music

l'm bored with music

zhan is an excellent swordsman

Why doesn't he demonstrate it for us?

Your Majesty

May l sing instead?

Who wants to hear you sing?

My Empress, l'll dance for you instead

Allow me

l want to watch zhan

Bao

Say something

So zhan is nothing but a clown

Who hit me?

lmpressive

Let me see how l should reward you

You're promoted to lmperial Cat

lmperial Sword Guard, 4th Class

Thank you, Your Majesty

You don't like it?

Why aren't you smiling?

Gongsun, l think l'm hurt

His Majesty is here

Long live His Majesty

Take me to this famous Yi Hong Night Club

We're all here

why don't we go tonight?

Should l ask the imperial doctor to come?

He likes to go clubbing too?

Hurry, go and get him

Night clubs are HlV-infested

l just want to be cautious

You always spoil the fun

Let's go

Move aside

l've devised a plan to eradicate Pang

Who would guess

we're plotting in a night club?

This is the perfect cover-up

You think l really want to go?

How painful this must be for you Your Majesty

You too

Cheers

Let's go after this drink

Your Majesty

l've shut down Yi Hong Club three months ago

Don't they have any branches?

My incompetent hands have

dimmed my great sword

Can you smell anything special?

Smell it yet?

l can hear the sword's mourning that

it's not serving its purpose

How can this sword be able to

compare with your legendary Swift sword?

lt's no more than a broken sword

Sword has a gentle appearance

but it's light as the wind

Truly a gentleman's weapon

Now l have the pleasure

to meet the true sword of ladies

lf you like it, please have it

Really?

of course not

zhan, as my gift to you

choose any sword here

But definitely not Yue Hua's

Sorry

This is not like you

You're always so generous

Your Majesty

This sword

is Yue Hua's dowry

lt is meant

for Yue Hua and her future husband

lf not

Just like this. Take this

The whore and her pimp

Your Majesty

Freudian slip

lt's fair lady and her prince

lnspector zhan

take my advice, choose one from these

Brother, l think Swift Sword

has found its rightful master

lf zhan will exchange his sword

it won't matter if it's the dowry

Yue Hua, how generous of you

lnspector zhan

you're a man, accept with grace

lf this is His Majesty's order lnspector zhan

Thank you, Ms. Yue Hua

oh no. The lmperial Cat is here

Those rats at Cave lsland are doomed

Fatso, fiddling with that thing so early?

l've dubbed this the ''Morning Glory''

a.k.a. ''Lethal Weapon'' My latest invention

Look how thick the cannon is

When l fire this

all the targets will be blown away

That lmperial Cat will become shreds

With this, we'll definitely get zhan

Sure. He's as good as dead

Not again. Who are you to say anything?

What have you ever done?

What's going on?

Marvelous!

Who?

We'll go find zhan zhao

Looking for zhan? We'll die

Wait. Let me do it

The lmperial Cat What kind of title is that?

What did zhan do to deserve it?

Agree

Go to the Emperor to file your complaint

The Emperor?

He'll kill us

zhan is the root of all problems

He is in trouble this time

Let's go

Should we go together?

Come on

Want to die?

l don't want to die. Not yet

Cheers

So soon?

Let's get our weapons

What a piece

Smells great

We'll fulfill our end of the bargain

We'll leave in an hour

What's up?

l've got to fetch some anesthesia

to knock him out

Good idea. Go get it

l've left it with little sister l'll get it from her

Told you not to leave things with her

What to do now?

Did you drink it?

Yes

Stop thinking about your country

Think about me

Come on

Careful

Told you

You

Yue Hua

me

His Royal Highness

and His Majesty against Councilor Pang

A brilliant plan

That's my old friend

You'll have to make some sacrifices

Judge Bao, save me

Judge Bao

Eunuch Chen is in trouble

Slow down and tell me

l've heard that Eunuch Guo

will assassinate Eunuch Chen tonight

l escaped in time

But it's hard to say

if Eunuch Chen will survive the night

What did he say?

He said Eunuch Chen is in trouble

Assassins

Watch out

Who do they think they are

A letter?

Please lend me the three treasures Shining Mouse

Three treasures are in danger

zhang, go check it out

Don't go

The three treasures are still here

The three treasures are still here

Judge Bao, please forgive me

Not your fault

Shining Mouse is just too cunning

Shining Mouse wouldn't have discovered the three treasures

if it weren't for Gongsun

lt's the oldest trick in the world

This Shining Mouse

l've met Shining Mouse

Let me get the three treasures back

Let's catch this mouse

and we'll rendez-vous at the palace

Got it

Bai

Pedestrian A?

You came at the right time

Really?

l have something to show you

Stole them from the Judge's court

l'm lnspector zhan from the court

You're the lmperial Cat

Sorry that l've lied to you

You're under arrest

Don't fight

Come and get the treasures

if you can

You are not my league

Forget it

What are you doing?

That's cheating

Cheating?

l didn't even draw my sword

Retaliate

See you later

Still waiting?

l'll wait for the assassin here

lf they do anything to Eunuch Chen

we'll catch him red-handed

Tackle the problem at its roots

let me go and kill Eunuch Guo

No

Assassin

Who killed Eunuch Guo?

Don't look at me. l was here with you all

Before that?

What are you mumbling about?

Don't let His Majesty find out

Who's talking about me?

Stop mimicking His Majesty

Long live Your Majesty

Bao, what's this place?

This is my neighborhood

You think you can keep a secret from me?

You take me for a fool?

Rise

Thank you, Your Majesty

Your Majesty. l do think

murder investigation is always my duty

lf Your Majesty finds out

you may solve this before l do

then what'd that leave me?

You flatter well

Your diplomacy has improved immensely

Bao has become a much better politician

Come, l've got to show you something

What a hypocrite

Look

We've got to snatch

Shining Mouse

What's so special?

Good presentation

You don't say

What a Shining Mouse

He must be so incredible to write

these words on such a high wall

lf only he'll help us

to get Councilor Pang

l order you to capture Shining Mouse

within 20 days

Your Majesty, twenty days?

Sorry. l meant ten days

Sorry. l meant ten days

lnspector zhan

You're the only one who met Shining Mouse

Make good use of these ten days

ln the meantime, only you've met Shining Mouse

would you like to do a sketch of him?

Sure

A corrupt official for sure. No doubt

Look. These eyes

Look how they glow

Look at his brows

lt's the perfect color. Perfect shape

That's what l call perfect

And the nose

Look how straight it is. Perfect shape

l like the lips best

Cherry-shape mouth That's a feminine man

That's our little sister

Really, it's our sister. Wow. Yes

What to do?

Let me hold this. Let me do this

l love the sound of this

Are you joking?

How can you do this here?

Sister is here

Hey

What a treat to be here

Let's make this a memorable visit

Tonight we'll

start with the East End

What'll we do?

Like this

East End, freeze

oK

Louder. one more time

No. l want a bit more quiet

East End, freeze

Up

Up

Hurry

Hurry

What a sister lt's bloody cold and she's not coming

She's cheating us

Just write something and go lt's so damn cold

oK, this is the last stroke

Done

With your calligraphy who're you trying to scare?

Give me

What's your plan?

Look. This is more ferocious

Agree

That's better

What are you doing?

You should write, ''zhan zhao eats shit''

Give me

oK, you do it

How do you write ''zhan zhao''?

l'll show you

He knows. Ask him. Sure

Hey. lt's just the two of them

Don't hit my head

l don't believe this

You guys should be punished for trespassing

in the Judge's Court at night

Guillotine

Judge Bao, not the death sentence

What about that Bai intruding my court

what kind of punishment should l give him?

Wait a second, my brother

He stole my sword

zhan gave it to me

l did not. l did not

Bai would not do that?

You see