Original subtitles

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♪ I WEAR A DISGUISE ♪

♪ I'M JUST YOUR AVERAGE JANE ♪

♪ THE SUPER DOESN'T STAND FOR MODEL ♪

♪ BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M PLAIN ♪

♪ IF ALL YOU SEE IS HOW I LOOK ♪

♪ YOU MISS THE SUPERCHICK WITHIN ♪

♪ AND I CHRISTEN YOU TITANIC ♪

♪ UNDERESTIMATE AND SWIM ♪

♪ AND I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

Girl: HEY, I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN

THERE ARE SOME STORIES THAT HAVE TO BE TOLD,

BUT I NEVER REALIZED MY MEMOIRS

WOULD BE ONE OF THEM.

♪ THAT I WANNA BE ♪

♪ I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN INSECURITY ♪

♪ I AM A VOICE ♪

♪ YET WAITING TO BE HEARD ♪

♪ I'LL SHOOT THE SHOT--BANG ♪

♪ THAT YOU HEAR AROUND THE WORLD ♪

[CHEERING]

YAY!

I CALL IT DANCE OF FAMILY.

AND I COULDN'T HAVE CHOREOGRAPHED IT

WITHOUT MY BEST FRIEND KELLY.

Man: YES. OH.

OH, AMANDA, THAT WAS, UH,

THAT WAS FABULOUS.

YOU KNOW, I, UM...

OOP. OOP.

I WAS REALLY ABLE TO SENSE

THE INTERNAL STRUGGLE

OF NATURE VERSUS, UM, NURTURE.

KELLY, HOW'S YOUR FAMILY PROJECT GOING?

OH. WELL, I'VE DECIDED TO DO A VIDEO DOCUMENTARY.

OH. WEREN'T YOU GOING TO WRITE A SHORT STORY?

WELL, THAT WAS BEFORE I WAS GONNA DO THE FAMILY SCULPTURE GARDEN.

Kelly: HI, DAD!

OOH. AAH!

[CRASH]

YOU KNOW, I'VE DECIDED TO SHOW THE WORLD

THE WAY THE FAMILY REALLY WORKS.

I'VE DECIDED TO CALL IT LA FAMILIA.

A FILM BY KELLY COLLINS.

THAT'S GREAT.

I KNOW.

[GIGGLES]

TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE GOING, DAD.

CHAD,

SUDAN,

AND OVER TO MYANMAR.

AND THEN THAILAND.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU, DAD.

ME, TOO, HONEY,

BUT I'LL HAVE MY CELL PHONE ON ALL THE TIME.

DIRTY WATER HOTDOGS!

DAD, I SO NEED ONE!

THE BEST MANHATTAN HAS TO OFFER.

Kelly: DAD. MY FAMILY.

DIVORCED. ALONE,

YET HAVING A TERRIFIC TIME.

HE KNOWS HE HAS ME, THE LIGHT OF HIS LIFE.

OOH. OH, I GOTTA GET YOU BACK.

TAXI.

TAXI! TAXI! OH.

SEE THAT?

Kelly: I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[TAXIS HONKING]

[IMITATES SIZZLE]

[GIGGLES]

NO.

MMM. NO, I KNOW WHAT THE CONTRACT SAYS,

BUT 1,200 PAGES?

Rachel: MOM. A WORKER, A MOTHER.

SHE HAS ME, THE LIGHT OF HER LIFE.

KELLY.

HONEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

THERE'S SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH OF A CLOSE-UP.

CAN I CALL YOU BACK?

UH, SOON.

THANK YOU. BYE-BYE.

[KELLY CHUCKLES]

Dad: THE GENERAL? LOOKS VERY IMPORTANT.

HE IS TO ME.

THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER,

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE TAKES OFF THE HAT.

EX-HUSBAND.

EX-WIFE.

A NUCLEAR FAMILY THAT ONCE EXPLODED.

KELLY? WHAT?

IT EXPLODED AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE.

KELLY. KELLY.

NO, KELLY. KELLY. NO, KELLY!

KELLY! KELLY!

Kelly: WHOA.

AAH! N-N-NO! AAH!

[CRASH]

OH, MY GOSH!

COME ON, YOU GUYS. WE HAVE LIVES TO SAVE.

OH. OH. OH.

UGH.

FORGET ABOUT THE FISHBOWL, HONEY.

I MEAN, THE WATER DAMAGE WASN'T THAT BAD.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU MANAGED TO SAVE MOST OF THE FISH.

I SAVED THEM ALL,

BECAUSE EVERY FISH'S LIFE IS SACRED.

MAYBE IF YOU SLOW DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT--

MOM, DAD SAYS YOU CAN'T THINK ABOUT ART.

IT'S SOMETHING YOU FEEL AND JUST DO.

WELL, YOUR FATHER IS A GROWN-UP, SWEETIE.

SOMETIMES.

OK.

I SERIOUSLY PROMISE YOU:

NO MORE BROKEN ANYTHING IN THIS ENTIRE CITY.

[BUZZ]

THERE'S JOE.

HI.

HI.

Kelly: MOM AND MAN.

THE FIRST ONE SHE'S LET INTO OUR ALL-GIRL LIVES SINCE DAD.

AAH! AAH!

[MOM AND KELLY ALTERNATING SCREAMS]

UM...

I AM SO SORRY. I'M SO SORRY.

OH, ARE YOU OK?

[GROANS]

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU CAN CRY IF YOU WANT TO.

YOU REALLY CAN.

OH, I'M SORRY.

OH, THAT'S KIND OF GROSS.

WOULD IT BE WRONG TO ASK HOW YOUR NOSE IS?

IT LOOKS WORSE THAN IT FEELS.

MOM SAYS SHE'S IN LOVE.

I GUESS THAT'S WHY SHE'S ALL PINK AND SMILEY

AND LOOKS LIKE SHE WANTS TO SING.

Mom: KELLY.

HAVEN'T YOU TOLD HIM YET?

I THINK HE KNOWS, HON.

ACTUALLY, TONIGHT IS A CELEBRATION.

WE WANT TO GET MARRIED, SETTLE DOWN.

MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU WILL, AND I'M ALL FOR IT.

UM, HONEY...

WE'RE NOT ASKING YOU.

WE'RE TELLING YOU.

OH.

WELL, IN THAT CASE, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION.

I THINK YOU'LL BE GOOD FOR MY MOM,

YOU BEING SO...

STABLE AND ALL.

SHE NEEDS THAT.

GLAD YOU APPROVE.

YOUR MOTHER AND I

ARE PLANNING A WEDDING THIS SUMMER.

I'M VERY HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH.

Kelly: AND I WAS.

HE WAS A REALLY NICE GUY

WHO MADE US FEEL TERRIFICALLY SAFE,

AND ALTHOUGH HE WASN'T MUSHY,

HE LOOKED AT MOM

AS IF SHE WERE THE ANSWER TO HIS PRAYERS.

UH, WHAT SHOULD I CALL YOU?

'CAUSE IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,

I DON'T CALL YOU ANYTHING BUT "UH..."

UH, JOE. SIR.

YOUR CHOICE.

SIR.

HOW ABOUT SIR?

MOM AND SIR.

I LIKE IT.

AND I JUST WANT YOU BOTH TO KNOW

I AM TOTALLY, TOTALLY DETERMINED

TO MAKE THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK,

BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF OUR FAMILY,

YOU'VE GOTTA LEARN HOW TO SLOUCH A LITTLE.

I WOULDN'T BE GETTING MARRIED

IF I THOUGHT THAT IT WASN'T GONNA BE GOOD

FOR BOTH OF US,

FOR ALL OF US.

OH, KELLY.

I LOVE HIM.

LOVE. WOW.

I HEAR IT'S GREAT.

Mom: HONEY, TRY NOT TO CRUSH MY WEDDING GOWN.

DON'T WORRY. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

NOW, HAVE A FUN DAY WITH KELLY,

AND TRY NOT TO FORGET WHAT TOMORROW IS.

I WILL TRY.

UH, JOE, I'M JUST--

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

BUT I HAVEN'T TOLD KELLY YET.

YOU HAVEN'T?

NO.

[SIGHS]

WELL, WE, UH--

WE COULD TELL HER TOGETHER.

UM, YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHY DON'T I TELL HER MYSELF?

DEAL.

LOVE YOU.

MOM, DO YOU REALIZE

THAT THIS IS OUR VERY LAST DAY

OF BEING SINGLE WOMEN TOGETHER?

I KNOW.

HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

HMM.

I LIKE IT.

IT'S VERY...BRIDAL.

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD JUST LEAVE IT ON

AND SLEEP ON YOUR BACK?

[LAUGHS]

AW, KEL, I AM SO HAPPY.

YOU KNOW, THINGS JUST FEEL RIGHT.

I THINK IT'S MORE THAN RIGHT.

LOVE, HAPPINESS.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

WELL, UH, I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU THE BEST PART.

[CHUCKLES]

JOE, UM, HAS A NEW JOB,

ONE HE'S ALWAYS WANTED.

MMM. GOOD,

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN LOOKING IN THE WANT ADS,

AND NOBODY SEEMS TO BE LOOKING FOR A RETIRED GENERAL.

SO, WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?

SOME THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE, HON.

LIKE, I'M GONNA BE DOING A LOT LESS EDITING.

WE'LL BE MOVING UPSTATE.

I'M GONNA LEARN HOW DO TO THINGS LIKE MAKE CURTAINS

AND MAYBE EVEN COOK.

COOK? WHOA.

I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE IT SLOW, MOM.

[GASPS] DID YOU SAY MOVING?

WHAT? YES.

UH, TO A PLACE THAT HAS NO TAKEOUT.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. REALLY.

MOVING?

MOM, WE CAN'T BE MOVING OUT OF NEW YORK.

WHERE WILL I GET MY DIRTY WATER HOTDOGS?

OH, DID YOU WANT ONE?

NO. OK, KELLY,

I PROMISE THAT WE'LL DRIVE INTO THE CITY A LOT.

A LOT?

WE CAN'T MOVE SO FAR AWAY

THAT I CAN'T COMMUTE TO MY SCHOOL.

THEY HAVE A WONDERFUL SCHOOL

WHERE WE'RE GOING.

BUT I LOVE MY SCHOOL, MOM.

I LOVE IT.

THIS NEW SCHOOL HAS VERY HIGH STANDARDS, HONEY.

THE ACADEMICS ARE GREAT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW? AND I MEAN REALLY KNOW?

WELL, I KNOW, KEL,

BECAUSE JOE IS GONNA BE THE PRINCIPAL,

ONLY MORE SO.

MOM,

IN WHAT WAY MORE SO?

WELL, HE'S MORE THAN JUST A PRINCIPAL.

HE'S LIKE A COMMANDANT.

A WHAT?

AND IT'S A VERY CARING, VERY STRUCTURED--

WHICH WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU--

MILITARY SCHOOL.

MILITARY SCHOOL?

NO, NO.

LIKE WHERE THEY WEAR UNIFORMS

AND THEY MARCH ALL AROUND TOGETHER?

YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, MOM.

I'M NOT GOING.

KELLY, WE ARE GONNA BE A FAMILY,

AND FAMILIES LIVE TOGETHER.

I MEAN, THE HOUSE IS RIGHT ON THE CAMPUS.

YOU'LL BE COMING HOME EVERY WEEKEND.

HOW ABOUT IF YOU TWO GO AND I STAY HERE,

AND YOU CAN COME AND VISIT ANY TIME YOU WANT.

I DON'T THINK SO.

WHAT ABOUT IF I MOVE IN WITH AMANDA?

HER PARENTS WON'T EVEN NOTICE.

KELLY, YOU'RE MUCH TOO MUCH FUN TO LEAVE BEHIND,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

FAMILIES DON'T LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND.

BUT...

I'M NOT GOING!

PROMISE WE'LL BE BEST FRIENDS, ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

I PROMISE. ANYWAY, I'M NOT GOING.

AND PROMISE YOU WON'T LIKE IT MORE THERE

THAN YOU LIKE IT HERE.

NO CHANCE OF THAT.

THEY WEAR UNIFORMS.

THEY GO TO SCHOOL

WHERE THEY LEARN ABOUT MILITARY STRATEGY.

THEY SIT IN DESKS.

[KELLY AND AMANDA ALTERNATING GASPS]

NO. YES.

IT DOESN'T MATTER, BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING.

NOT GOING.

I AM NOT GOING.

P.A.: WELCOME TO GEORGE WASHINGTON MILITARY ACADEMY.

I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU MAGGOT!

P.A.: ALL CADETS, PLEASE REPORT.

Woman: I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD.

Cadets: I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD.

Kelly: HELLO. WHERE CAN I GET A CAFE MOCHA?

Kelly: I COULD NOT BELIEVE

THAT THIS WAS THE MAN WE MARRIED.

SIR LOOKED A WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT STANDING THERE

THAN WHEN HE WAS KISSING MY MOTHER IN OUR LIVING ROOM.

WHEW.

HELLO. I'M CARLA.

KELLY.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT HERE, YOU KNOW.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO SLEEP IN A PLACE

WITHOUT A SINGLE DECENT PIECE OF ART ON THE WALLS.

AH, WE GOT CAPTAIN STONE AGAIN.

YOU KNOW, SHE'S GOING TO DISMEMBER US.

WHO'S THIS CAPTAIN STONE, ANYWAY?

SHE'S THE MEANEST 16-YEAR-OLD IN AMERICA.

SHE'S YOUR SQUAD LEADER.

SHE'S THE ONE WHO TELLS US WHAT TO DO

AND WHEN TO DO IT.

THAT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE.

WE'VE GOT BRAINS. WE'RE THINKING PEOPLE.

NOT AROUND HER, YOU'RE NOT.

I HEAR SHE'S GOT A BUZZARD FOR A PET.

SHE'S PROBABLY GONNA BE

GOING WITH BRAD AGAIN THIS YEAR.

BRAD?

WHAT'S A BRAD?

HE'S THE BEST-LOOKING, MOST PERFECT BOY AROUND.

AND HE GOES TO SCHOOL HERE?

WHY NOT ME?

AS IF A CADET MAJOR

WOULD BE INTERESTED IN ANY OF YOU GUYS.

Girl: YEAH, RIGHT.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU.

IT'S NOT REGULATION.

IT'S JUST A BLANKET.

IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE'S GONNA SEE BUT US.

EVERYTHING HERE IS BY THE BOOK.

THANKS FOR THE WARNING, CARLA,

BUT I'D REALLY LIKE

TO TRY AND RETAIN MY INDIVIDUALITY AROUND HERE.

Older girl: 10, HUT!

I'M SORRY.

DID I ACCIDENTALLY

SNATCH THIS RATTY, OLD THING AWAY FROM YOU?

IN MY EXPERIENCE,

PEOPLE DON'T SNATCH ACCIDENTALLY.

AND IT'S NOT RATTY.

IT IS NOW.

AND KEEP IT OUT OF MY BARRACKS!

WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

OH, MY BAD.

YOU MUST BE CAPTAIN STONE.

HMM.

YOU'RE ON MY LIST, MAGGOT.

YOU'D BE ON MINE IF I HAD A LIST.

I'LL PRETEND THAT YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT.

Capt. Stone: AS YOU WERE.

WHOO. TROUBLE AHEAD, GIRL.

WELL, THERE'LL BE TROUBLE AHEAD FOR HER, TOO.

YOU DON'T GET IT.

IN HER MIND,

YOU'RE JUST A LOWLY SPECK OF DUST.

WELL, THAT'S NOT HOW I SEE IT, OK?

WE MAY BE IN MILITARY SCHOOL,

BUT WE STILL LIVE IN A DEMOCRACY.

SOME THINGS ARE JUST GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE AROUND HERE.

AND YOU'RE GONNA CHANGE A SCHOOL

THAT'S BEEN AROUND FOR 100 YEARS?

I DON'T THINK SO.

MY ADVICE: DON'T CROSS JENNIFER.

[SIGHS]

Kelly: I HATED IT--

THE UNIFORMITY,

THE RULES, THE KHAKI OF IT ALL.

IT WAS TOTALLY CLEAR TO ME

THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON MILITARY ACADEMY

NEEDED TO BECOME A KINDER, GENTLER SCHOOL,

AND IT WAS UP TO ME TO DO IT.

I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.

Stone: LIGHTS OUT! 10 MINUTES!

WHAT? EXCUSE ME.

MY MOM LETS ME STAY UP TILL MIDNIGHT.

Woman: LET'S GO! LET'S GO!

LADIES, CRAWL OUT OF THOSE RACKS!

INSPECTION IS AT 0800 HOURS.

LET'S GO! MOVE!

COME ON!

OUT OF THOSE RACKS NOW!

Woman: STAND UP STRAIGHT.

EXCUSE ME. NO.

FIX THAT HAT.

YOU WILL ADHERE TO THE FOLLOWING SCHEDULE.

AM I UNDERSTOOD?

Cadets: MA'AM, YES, MA'AM! Kelly: SIR, YES, SIR!

REVEILLE AT 0600 HOURS.

FIRST MESS: 0645.

Kelly: NONE OF THIS MADE SENSE.

THERE WERE 24 HOURS IN A DAY, NOT 600.

AND WHY AFTER CLEANING WOULD YOU MAKE A MESS?

UGH.

YOU AGAIN.

EVERYTHING CLEAR, MAGGOT?

WELL, NOW THAT YOU ASK,

MY WATCH ONLY HAS 12 HOURS ON IT.

YOU GET DUMBER BY THE MINUTE, DON'T YOU?

Woman:...AT 2200 HOURS.

THAT IS ALL.

YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING, MAGGOT.

WHAT?

OH.

NOW, WHO WOULD PUT THAT THERE?

Carla: MA'AM. PERMISSION TO SPEAK, MA'AM.

IT'S ABOUT THE MAGGOT, MA'AM.

MA'AM, THIS CADET

VOLUNTEERS TO TEACH THE MAGGOT

MILITARY PROTOCOL AND TERMINOLOGY, MA'AM.

DO IT.

[SNAP] FAST!

AND TELL HER ABOUT THE CROCODILE I WRESTLED.

FIRST LESSON, ZIP IT AND LISTEN.

2 THINGS I HAVE NEVER MASTERED.

EVERYBODY HAS A RANK.

BASICALLY, YOU SALUTE OFFICERS.

I'VE HEARD OF GENERALS.

WELL, YOU CAN TELL A PERSON'S RANK

BY LOOKING AT THEIR CHEVRONS OR INSIGNIA.

OH! SERGEANT! MAJOR!

SERGEANT MAJOR!

HEY!

I'M GUESSING, BUT NOBODY SEEMS TO MIND.

HEY!

HEY, HEY, HEY! CAPTAIN STONE.

ALL RIGHT, THERE HE IS.

HUT!

HOW'S MY HAIR?

PERFECT, AS USUAL.

Brad: LEFT! FORWARD!

WHOA, IS THAT BRAD?

OR THE CUTEST BOY I'VE EVER SEEN...OR BOTH!

Carla: YOU GOT IT.

OH, MY GOSH. HE LOOKS JUST LIKE A ROCK STAR.

AND I WOULD KNOW, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THIS CLOSE TO N'SYNC.

BETTER STAY AWAY. HE'S THE STONE'S MAN.

AND YOU'LL BE SEEING THEM TOGETHER

AT THE WELCOME BACK DANCE ON FRIDAY.

DID YOU SAY "DANCE"?

YEAH. WE'RE INVITED, TOO.

EVERYBODY'S INVITED.

DO WE GET TO WEAR REAL CLOTHES?

WEAR 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM.

[SIGHS]

HALT!

I AM SO THERE.

Brad: HIT IT!

DISMISSED!

OK. SO I'M GONNA CASUALLY BUMP INTO HIM

AND JUST BRING UP THE WELCOME BACK DANCE.

YES, MA'AM.

ALL RIGHT. HAIR IS GOOD?

YES, MA'AM.

GOOD!

[SIGHS]

[SQUEALS]

Friend: WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

Brad: I HAVE NO IDEA.

[BOTH MEN LAUGH]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[LAUGHS]

[SIGHS] I THOUGHT SHE'D BE HAPPY

ABOUT HOW QUICKLY I WAS LEARNING.

OH!

IT WAS HERE, JUST SOUTH OF MONT ST. JEAN,

THAT NAPOLEON FOOLISHLY TRIED TO SPLIT

THE COMBINED FORCES OF WELLINGTON AND BLUCHER.

NOW, THE RESULT OF THIS WAS THAT--

CAN THIS WAIT?

WELL, IT WOULD BE DISHONEST OF ME NOT TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW

THAT I AM A CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR.

I DON'T THINK I GOT ANYTHING RIGHT.

IT'S JUST A TEST TO GAUGE YOUR LEVEL.

I DON'T THINK I'VE HIT A LEVEL YET.

AT MY OLD SCHOOL, WE ONLY HAD TO DO MATH WHEN WE FELT LIKE IT.

IT WAS A REALLY GOOD SYSTEM.

WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SIT WHILE WE WERE DOING IT, EITHER.

[LAUGHS]

HEY, WHAT YOU GOT?

OH, NOTHING.

JUST MY DRESS FOR FRIDAY NIGHT.

Woman: LET ME SEE! OH, MY GOSH,

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! YOU WANT TO SEE MINE?

YEAH, YEAH!

LET ME SEE. UHH!

CAN I SEE YOURS?

OH, THAT'S SUCH A GREAT COLOR! SO SOFT!

IT'S REALLY GREAT. OH, MY GOLLY, RHINESTONES!

OH! OH, THAT'S GREAT! AND LOOK AT THE LITTLE TOP!

IT'S SO CUTE!

HEY.

HEY.

COME ON. LET'S GO TAKE A WALK...

OR A MARCH OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU GUYS CALL IT HERE.

SURE.

WHOO! I BELIEVE IN GUN CONTROL.

AROUND HERE, THAT IS GUN CONTROL.

DON'T WORRY. THEY CAN'T BE FIRED.

THE DRILL TEAM'S A BIG DEAL.

IT'S LIKE OUR ARMY'S FOOTBALL TEAM.

[SIGHS] YOU KNOW, MILITARY LIFE MAY BE FOR SOME PEOPLE,

BUT IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME.

IT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO ADJUST TO.

PEOPLE LIKE JENNIFER ARE USED TO IT.

BOTH HER PARENTS ARE ARMY.

COMMANDANT COMING.

THERE'S DUST ON THOSE BOOTS, WOOLRICH.

Woolrich: YES, SIR.

AT EASE, CADETS.

WHERE ARE YOU YOUNG LADIES GOING?

HOME TO PICK OUT SOME DRESSES FOR THE DANCE FRIDAY NIGHT...

SIR.

BE SURE TO PICK OUT SOME NICE ONES.

CARRY ON, CADETS.

WE WILL. SEE YOU, JOE.

YOU CAN NOT TALK TO THE COMMANDANT LIKE THAT.

WELL, I SORT OF CAN.

YOU SEE, HE'S MY STEPDAD.

HE AND MY MOM MET AT A WEDDING,

AND THEY LIKED IT SO MUCH,

THEY DECIDED TO HAVE ONE OF THEIR OWN.

HA! YOU SHOULD TELL JENNIFER!

SHE WOULD GO WAY EASIER ON YOU.

THAT'S A NEGATIVE. SHE'S MY OWN BATTLE.

[KEY RATTLES IN LOCK]

COME ON!

I DON'T-- I JUST--

IT'S OK!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

YOU SHOULD PICK FIRST. THEY'RE YOURS.

OH, NO. IT'S SO MUCH MORE FUN FOR ME IF YOU GO FIRST.

THERE SHE IS! HI, BABY.

HEY, MOM.

Kelly: ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT MOM

IS SHE ALWAYS GREETS YOU LIKE YOU'VE BEEN GONE

FOR 3 YEARS.

SO, HOW'S SCHOOL?

IT'S...

VERY NICELY STRUCTURED.

MOM, THIS IS CARLA.

HI, CARLA. NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

BLACK, BLUE, OR SILVER?

I THINK ANY ONE OF THEM WOULD LOOK GREAT ON CARLA.

HMM, YOU KNOW, I THINK THE BLUE IS IT.

IT'S FABULOUS.

SO "10 MINUTES FROM NOW."

YOU KNOW, GIRLS, UH, LUNCH IS, UH,

ALMOST READY, SO, COME AND GET IT.

[GIGGLES]

HMM.

[SIGHS]

MAYBE THERE IS A FEMININE SIDE

TO MILITARY LIFE.

AAH!

[MUTTERING]

OH! AAH!

AAH! OH!

[GRUNTING]

YOUR MAMA'S NOT GONNA HOLD YOUR HANDS.

LET'S GO, PEOPLE! MOVE IT!

Jennifer: COME ON, LET'S GO.

I WANT TO SEE THOSE KNEES UP, UP, UP, UP.

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!

MAGGOT, DID I SEE YOU SKIPPED THAT?

THAT'S RIGHT. IF I DID, YOU WOULD HAVE HAD

TO HAVE GONE BACK TO DO IT AGAIN.

Man: MOVE IT!

THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. COME ON.

THIS IS NOT A TEA PARTY!

Jennifer: LET'S GO! UP, UP, UP, UP, UP!

Man: LET'S GO, PEOPLE! LET'S GO, PEOPLE!

MOVE, MOVE!

OH, THAT'S HIGH.

LET'S GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

Kelly: OUCH! OH.

OH, DID YOU BREAK A NAIL? I DON'T CARE!

Man: MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!

MY MAMA COULD MOVE FASTER THAN YOU!

1, 2, 1, 2! LET'S GO. LET'S GO, LET'S GO!

RUN FASTER, RUN FASTER!

COME ON, YOU'RE PATHETIC!

LET'S GO, COLLINS! LET'S GO!

Man: GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

KEEP MOVING!

YOU PEOPLE ARE SO SLOW!

COME ON, MAGGOT! LET'S GO.

LET ME SEE WHAT YOU GOT!

I'M DOING IT!

OOH, OOH.

I'M SAFE.

HEY, GO, NOW!

[SIGHS]

OW!

GO DOWN!

DOWN! IN THE MUD NOW! I WANT TO SEE YOU!

COME ON, CRAWL, CRAWL, CRAWL.

SAY WHAT YOU ARE. GO!

OH!

COME ON! KEEP MOVING!

YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT!

YOU'RE SMALL.

I CAN'T EVEN TALK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

KEEP MOVING!

I GIVE UP.

OW, OW, OW.

OH. COLLINS, LET'S GO.

[GRUNTS]

GET DOWN HERE, CADET!

GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW, YOU MAGGOT!

SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN

A MEMBER OF YOUR TEAM IS COUNTING ON YOU?

ARE YOU GONNA LEAVE A MAN BEHIND?

NO! YOU'RE GONNA REPEL DOWN THAT ROPE

AND YOU'RE GONNA GET HIM!

NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND! IS THAT CLEAR?

I HATE HEIGHTS. I'M EVEN HOPING NOT TO GET TOO TALL.

HELLO?

I FALL EVEN WHEN I'M JUST WALKING AROUND!

OH.

ATTEN-HUT!

IS ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE?

Cadets: SIR, NO, SIR!

WELL DONE.

THE WELCOME BACK DANCE BEGINS AT 1900 HOURS.

DISMISS YOUR SQUADS.

DISMISSED!

UM, I'M GETTING A LITTLE HUNGRY.

OH, HOW 'BOUT SENDING FOR SOME CAESAR SALAD?

WITH A LITTLE BIT OF CAJUN CHICKEN,

A TOUCH OF CILANTRO, AND A LITTLE BIT

OF LEMON DRESSING ON THE SIDE.

WITH SOME OF THOSE OYSTER CRACKERS.

YUMMY.

FINE.

OH!

[GRUNTING]

HELP ME.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS]

OOH.

SERGEANT RAMOS WILL TAKE OVER FROM HERE.

YOU'RE GONNA DO THIS COURSE UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DANCE?

HMM, UH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE THERE.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO DO THAT?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT...

TELL YOUR STEPFATHER?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO ABOUT IT.

WHAT?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,

MA'AM.

[SIGHS]

MAGGOT.

TEN, HUT!

BACK UP, LET'S GO! ONTO THE TIRES!

GO QUICK!

AND PICK YOUR FEET UP!

[THUNDER CRASHES]

OH, THIS IS JUST GREAT!

WHY ME?

LET'S GO!

Kelly: SERGEANT GLORIA RAMOS,

MY OWN PRIVATE SLAVE DRIVER.

SHE'S TOUGH, BUT SHE DIDN'T HAVE JENNIFER'S

100% LOOK OF HATRED.

I DECIDED TO TRY AND FIND THE REAL GLORIA,

THE ONE WHO WAS CRAVING TO BE HUMAN.

I'M SORRY YOU HAVE TO STAND OVER ME LIKE THIS

AND MISS THE DANCE.

I DON'T DANCE.

DON'T YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THE MUSIC?

I HATE MUSIC.

NOBODY HATES MUSIC. IT'S A PRIMITIVE INSTINCT

WHICH I'M SURE YOU COULD UNLEASH ANY TIME YOU WANT.

NEVER HAPPEN.

WE HAVE GOT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF YOUR DENIAL.

GET MOVING!

I INTEND TO.

I CAN DIAGNOSE AND CLIMB AT THE SAME TIME.

UNDER THE WIRE, CADET!

OW! OH!

YOUR ARM IS BLEEDING.

OH, THAT'S WHAT THAT STICKY RED STUFF IS.

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

I DON'T FEEL. I JUST WANT TO FINISH.

I'M GONNA DO THIS AND IT'S GONNA BE

MY PERSONAL BEST!

ESPECIALLY SINCE I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE!

♪ FROM THE HALLS OF MONTEZUMA ♪

♪ TO THE SHORES OF TRIPOLI ♪

THAT'S THE MARINES.

HOW ABOUT...

♪ ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT ♪

♪ GENTLY-♪

OH, THAT'S THE NAVY.

[THUNDER CRASHES]

I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE ABLE TO DO THIS.

BACK HOME IN PONCE,

WE HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL STARS.

WHEN I'M CRAWLING IN THE MUD HERE,

I PRETEND I AM THERE

ON THE BEACH,

AND THE SAND IS SOFT AND WARM.

OH, GLORIA, THAT IS PURE POETRY.

[LAUGHS]

LET ME SHOW YOU.

USE YOUR ELBOWS.

IT GIVES YOU MORE STABILITY

AND HELPS YOU GET THERE FASTER.

USE YOUR KNEES TO PUSH!

THEN, WHEN YOU HAVE TO GET UNDER SOME WIRE,

FLATTEN YOURSELF OUT COMPLETELY LIKE THIS.

READY? YEAH.

GO!

[GRUNTING]

I'M DOING IT!

IT STOPPED RAINING. THANKS, GLORIA.

MAYBE SOMETIME, I CAN PROVE TO YOU

THAT GOOD TIMES AREN'T JUST FOR CHUMPS.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

YOU CAN TRY.

UM, PRIVATE!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

FALL OUT!

I'VE GOTTA GO TELL CARLA.

YES!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ YOU GET DRESSED UP ♪

♪ YOU HEAD DOWN ♪

♪ DOWN... ♪

OH! WHOA! AAH!

[GRUNTING]

WHOA!

OUT OF THE WAY!

OH!

AAH!

MAGGOT!

EW!

Girl: WAY TO GO, KELLY!

WELL, THERE'S SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS HOW TO GET DOWN AND DIRTY.

OH! OH!

Kelly: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL

IF SIR HAD INVITED ME TO HIS OFFICE,

UNDER ANY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES.

[CLEARS THROAT]

AS YOU KNOW, MY FATHER

WAS COMMANDANT OF THIS ACADEMY,

SO I UNDERSTAND THE POSITION YOU'RE IN.

HE WAS HARDER ON ME THAN THE OTHERS,

JUST TO PROVE HE WAS FAIR.

YOU KNOW, IN THOSE DAYS,

PEOPLE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW FRAGILE

A CHILD'S PSYCHE COULD BE.

DON'T WORRY, SIR.

YOU'LL PUT IT BEHIND YOU SOMEDAY.

I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT YOUR PERFORMANCE

YOUR FIRST WEEK HERE.

OH, I'M NOT EXACTLY HAPPY

WITH WHAT'S GOING ON, EITHER.

THINGS COULD BE MUCH BETTER.

DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S

THIS WHOLE GROUP WHO PRACTICE

THROWING AROUND RIFLES?

THEY'RE LIKE ROBOTS OR SOMETHING.

I WAS ONE OF THOSE ROBOTS WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL HERE.

IT'S OK. YOU WERE YOUNG.

YOU DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

CAPTAIN STONE SAYS THAT YOU PURPOSEFULLY DAMAGED

HER PERSONAL BELONGINGS IN THE FORM OF A WHITE DRESS

WHICH YOU WILLFULLY LAID YOUR HANDS ON.

IT WAS NOT PURPOSEFULLY OR WILLFULLY, SIR!

I LOST MY FOOTING APPROACHING THE DANCE,

AND I ACCIDENTALLY-- CAPTAIN STONE ISN'T

THE ONLY ONE THAT I'VE HAD COMPLAINTS FROM.

YOUR TEACHERS ARE FINDING YOUR LACK OF DISCIPLINE...

PROBLEMATIC, TO SAY THE LEAST.

IT'S TIME THAT YOU LEARN HOW WE OPERATE AROUND HERE.

UNIFORMITY IS SOMETHING WE STRIVE FOR.

ARE YOU SURE THAT'S A GOOD THING?

I'M POSITIVE.

ALTHOUGH INDIVIDUAL DIGNITY IS RESPECTED,

THE INDIVIDUAL IS AT THE SERVICE OF THE GROUP.

THAT'S WHY WE CALL IT THE SERVICE.

THAT'S A LESSON YOU NEED TO LEARN, PRIVATE COLLINS,

AND YOU WILL LEARN IT!

DISMISSED!

ALL RIGHT. IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO HOME.

TELL YOUR MOTHER I'LL BE THERE SHORTLY.

[DIALS PHONE NUMBER]

Taped message: YOU'VE REACHED ADAM COLLINS.

PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE. [BEEP]

I JUST CALLED TO SAY HI.

THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT,

AND EVEN THOUGH I SOUND MISERABLE,

IT'S JUST 'CAUSE I'M ALLERGIC TO THE COUNTRY.

OK. I GOTTA GO.

BYE!

[BEEP]

Kelly: I HAD GIVEN GEORGE WASHINGTON A WHOLE WEEK,

AND IT SEEMED THAT IT AND I WOULD NEVER GET ALONG.

I HAD TO TELL MOM I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE.

Kelly: MOM, CAN I HAVE YOUR LAP?

I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

OK. 'CAUSE I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU, TOO.

YOU CAN GO FIRST.

OK. UH, KELLY...

UH, I'M JUST GONNA COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT, OK?

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY.

A BA-A--A BABY?! YEAH.

A BABY? A BABY.

HA HA! WOW! A BABY!

HA HA HA!

HA HA! HA HA HA!

YOU KNOW, KEL,

I WILL STILL LOVE YOU 100%,

AND I'M SURE I'M GONNA LOVE THIS BABY,

BUT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU LONGER.

ME, TOO, MOM. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU LONGER. MMM!

OK. AHEM!

TA-DA! [SQUEAK] HA HA!

THE BABY'S ROOM IS GONNA NEED

THOSE BEAUTIFUL PAINTINGS YOU DO SO WELL.

OH! I LOVE IT WHEN YOU USE PSYCHOLOGY ON ME!

[LAUGHS]

MOM, YOU HAVE MADE ME A VERY HAPPY DAUGHTER.

GOOD!

NOW, WHAT WERE YOU GONNA TELL ME?

ME. UM...

I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU THAT, UM,

CARLA'S TURNED OUT TO BE A VERY GOOD FRIEND. OH!

Kelly: I COULDN'T TELL HER I WANTED TO QUIT SCHOOL.

WE COULDN'T BRING A BABY INTO THIS WORLD

AMONG EVEN ONE OUNCE OF CHAOS.

HELLO! HI!

HOW ARE YA? GOOD.

WELL, I JUST TOLD KELLY OUR GOOD NEWS.

YEAH! CONGRATULATIONS...

BIG SISTER.

Kelly: UHH! A HANDSHAKE? SUDDENLY IT DAWNED ON ME

THAT SIR WASN'T READY TO BE A FATHER YET.

LIST OF THINGS TO DO: GIVE MOM TOTAL SUPPORT,

WOMAN TO WOMAN,

HELP SIR UNDERSTAND HIS NEW FATHERLY ROLE,

AND TRY TO CONVINCE THE MILITARY

TO LET PEOPLE USE THEIR OWN BLANKETS.

I HAD TO DO EVERYTHING.

[SIGHS]

[PLAYING REVEILLE]

Stone: OK, LADIES, LET'S GO!

OK, OK.

WELL, I KNOW THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING WRONG HERE.

MA'AM, NO, MA'AM.

WELL...

YOU GOT AWAY WITH IT THIS TIME,

WHATEVER IT IS.

[STONE SIGHS]

YOU KNOW, I DO BELIEVE...

THAT I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THIS RATTY THING.

OH, YEAH. THAT I NEVER WANTED TO SEE IT IN MY BARRACKS EVER AGAIN.

HMM. [RIPS]

OH. TSK!

[RIPS]

[GASPS] OH!

[RIPS]

WOW.

[RIPS] OH!

[POP]

AND NOW I WON'T.

SWEET DREAMS, MAGGOT.

Stone: AS YOU WERE!

[SIGHS]

AM I SUPPOSED TO JUST LET HER DO THIS TO ME, CARLA?

MM-HMM, YEAH. NOW, JUST GO TO BED.

Other girls: SHH!

[SIGHS]

I'M GONNA FIGURE THIS OUT.

[CLICKS]

GET BACK IN YOUR BED, CADET.

THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND HER, OK?

[PLAYING REVEILLE]

[CADETS GIGGLING]

[CADETS WHISPERING] Cadet: SHH!

[CADETS LAUGHING]

[LAUGHTER GROWS LOUDER]

AAH!

Man: LET'S GO, CADETS! COME ON! MOVE IT!

CADETS! ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO, LET'S GO!

WHOO!

I KNOW IT WAS YOU,

AND I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU.

AROUND HERE, WE CALL IT A COURT-MARTIAL.

I FEEL TERRIBLE I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING FOR YOU, MA'AM.

UHH!

Kelly's mom: SO WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

IT MEANS SHE'LL HAVE TO APPEAR IN CADET COURT.

SHOULD WE GET A LAWYER?

THE CADETS RUN THESE THINGS THEMSELVES.

I REVIEW THE VERDICT AND METE OUT THE PUNISHMENT.

OH, HONEY. THAT PUTS YOU IN SUCH A DIFFICULT POSITION.

SO, YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T GO TOO EASY ON HER.

BUT MAYBE NOT TOO HARD, EITHER.

THIS IS THE JOB I'VE WANTED ALL MY LIFE,

EVER SINCE I WAS A KID HERE.

LISTENING TO MY DAD, WATCHING HIM,

LIVING IN THIS HOUSE.

I CAN'T BLOW IT.

AND YOU THINK ONE LITTLE GIRL IS GONNA MAKE THAT HAPPEN?

I DIDN'T, TILL I MET THE ONE LITTLE GIRL WHO COULD.

I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE A WALK.

JOE!

[SIGHS]

[CRYING]

I'M SORRY, MOM. I DIDN'T MEAN TO!

OH, KELLY.

COME SIT DOWN WITH ME.

COME ON.

COME HERE.

IT'S OK. IT'S OK.

MOM!

KELLY...

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SAY SORRY TO THE COURT.

[SIGHS]

MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE.

MOM, YOU NEVER ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO COME HERE.

KELLY.

KELLY!

[SIGHS]

"SECTION 101.2:

"FAILURE TO MAINTAIN ORDERLY QUARTERS.

"SECTION 103.4:

VIOLATION OF THE UNIFORM DRESS CODE."

SPEAKING OF DRESS CODE, YOUR COVER, PLEASE,

CADET-CAPTAIN STONE.

"SECTION 102.2: INSUBORDINATION.

SECTION--" Brad: CAPTAIN!

THE EVIDENCE, PLEASE.

[SIGHS]

[BANGS]

[CADETS WHISPERING AND LAUGHING]

MY CLIENT WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT'S JUST PAINT.

IT'LL WASH OUT.

THIS CONCLUDES THE PROCEEDINGS.

DELIBERATIONS WILL BEGIN IMMEDIATELY.

OH, NO! I FORGOT TO TELL THEM I WAS SORRY.

APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED.

NOT TO YOU. TO THEM, MA'AM.

I HOPE WE GOT ACROSS IT WAS A CRIME OF PASSION.

I HAD TO RETALIATE. THEY COULDN'T

POSSIBLY FIND ME-- GUILTY!

THE CADET WILL REPORT TO THE COMMANDANT'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY

FOR SENTENCING. [BANG]

I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT YOUR PUNISHMENT,

AND I THINK I'VE COME UP WITH JUST THE ONE.

I HEREBY SENTENCE YOU TO...

[CADETS PERFORMING DRILL IN DISTANCE]

THE DRILL TEAM.

THE DRILL TEAM?

SIR, I'M NOT REALLY GOOD AT BEING ON TEAMS.

I'M MORE OF A SOLO ARTIST.

WHO SAID YOU'D BE ON THE TEAM?

THAT WOULD BE AN HONOR.

I'M SENTENCING YOU TO BE EQUIPMENT MANAGER.

YOU'RE EXPECTED TO KEEP THE UNIFORMS ORDERLY,

POLISH BOOTS AND BRASS, MAINTAIN RIFLES,

GUIDONS, SCABBARDS, AND SABERS.

AROUND HERE, THAT IS REFERRED TO AS A "SCUT" JOB.

MAYBE YOU'LL LEARN SOME RESPECT FOR PROPERTY,

AND HOPEFULLY YOU'LL LEARN WHAT THIS GROUP--

THE ONE THAT PRACTICES WITH RIFLES,

THE ONE YOU REFER TO AS "ROBOTS,"

IS ALL ABOUT.

1970.

I WAS ON THE TEAM THAT YEAR.

WE CAME IN THIRD.

WE HAVEN'T DONE THAT WELL SINCE.

THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE.

COLONEL NICHOLSON IS TEAM ADVISOR.

REPORT TO HIM MONDAY MORNING IN THE GYM

AFTER CLASSES AND GET YOURSELF SQUARED AWAY.

DISMISSED.

[SIGHS]

1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2...

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[RINGS]

[BEEP]

HELLO?

HEY, KELLY. ARE YOU OK?

I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

IT ALWAYS WORRIES ME WHEN YOU TRY TO SOUND HAPPY.

OH, I'M GREAT, EXCEPT FOR I GOT COURT-MARTIALED.

THAT'S TERRIFIC, HONEY.

AND I'M ON THE DRILL TEAM.

WELL, NOT EXACTLY ON IT, BUT--

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

WELL, I JUST CALLED TO TELL YOU THAT.

OH! OK, HONEY. I GOTTA GO.

OK. BYE, DAD.

OH! BLECCH! YAH!

[MONKEYS SCREECHING]

[DRILL CHANT IN DISTANCE]

[PLAYING REVEILLE]

[EXHALES]

THE POINT IS...

TO KEEP THE GEAR CLEAN, POLISHED, AND READY TO GO.

IT'S JUST LIKE IN COMBAT.

WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING, YOU NEED IT NOW,

AND YOU NEED IT TO WORK. UNDERSTOOD?!

SIR, YES, SIR!

GO TO IT, CADET.

EWW.

♪ I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD ♪

♪ JENNIFER'S HAIR IS PAINTED GOLD ♪

♪ SHE'S SO MEAN, SHE HARDLY BREATHES ♪

♪ I'LL BE HAPPY WHEN SHE LEAVES ♪

♪ I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD ♪

♪ JENNIFER'S HEART IS MIGHTY COLD ♪

HOW COLD?

REAL COLD.

HOW COLD?

[LOUDLY] ICE COLD!

OOPS.

SO, YOU CALL THAT A SHOESHINE?

YOU KNOW, WE COULD GET GIGGED FOR THAT.

NOW, THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.

YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, CADET KELLY.

FLIP ARM!

REVERSE FLIP ARM!

HOLD ARM!

FLIP REVERSE. PRESENT ARM!

AT EASE.

AS YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A MEET COMING UP

IN 2 WEEKS,

BUT IT ISN'T JUST A PRACTICE.

IT'S OUR FIRST STEP TOWARDS WINNING THE REGIONALS.

SO...

MAKE ME PROUD.

ATTEN-HUT!

Cadets: SIR, YES, SIR!

Brad: LIFT ARMS!

REVERSE FLIP ARMS!

Kelly: THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME.

THIS WAS LIKE SWAN LAKE,

ONLY INSTEAD OF TUTUS,

EVERYONE WAS WEARING UNIFORMS.

BUT STILL, IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.

SURE, I'LL HELP YOU WITH THE EQUIPMENT.

OUR TEAM MAY NOT BE THE BEST,

BUT IT'LL BE THE SHINIEST.

THAT IS SO INCREDIBLY NICE OF YOU.

PART OF WHAT WE LEARN HERE

IS TO HELP EACH OTHER.

I SWEAR I WOULD, IF ONLY I FIT IN, YOU KNOW?

NO ONE FITS IN AT FIRST.

SO, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

ME? I'M LUCKY TO BE HERE.

HOME WASN'T--

IT WASN'T WHAT I WOULD HAVE PICKED OUT.

THIS IS LIKE HEAVEN ON EARTH FOR A GIRL LIKE ME.

HEY, CARLA.

YOU THINK YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH US FRIDAY NIGHT?

MAYBE STAY OVER?

HMM. SURE.

I'D--I'D LOVE THAT.

OK.

SIR.

CAN I BORROW SOME SPIT, SIR?

PROMISE TO PAY YOU BACK.

HEY, BRAD, I WAS JUST WONDERING

IF YOU COULD HELP ME WITH SOME MOVES FOR THE BIG MEET.

SURE.

COOL, 'CAUSE I WOULD REALLY LOVE

TO BEAT RAWEIGH ACADEMY JUST ONCE,

AND I'M SURE YOU WOULD, TOO.

I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG,

BUT I ALWAYS BRING LUCK TO THINGS,

AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE RUB MY HEAD.

GUNS, PLEASE.

HERE YOU GO, BRAD.

THANKS. SURE.

HMM?

P.A.: THE G.W.M.A. INVITATIONAL PRACTICE MEET

WITH RAWEIGH HIGH SCHOOL

WILL BEGIN IN 5 MINUTES.

Cadet leader: FORWARD, MARCH.

THERE THEY ARE.

RAWEIGH HIGH SCHOOL.

LET'S NOT GET PSYCHED OUT HERE, PEOPLE.

SQUAD, HALT.

SQUAD, HALT!

SQUAD, HALT.

EVERYTHING SQUARED AWAY, CAPTAIN?

MA'AM, I ALWAYS HAVE SPARES, MA'AM.

HERE.

PRESENT...ARMS!

[IMPRESSED MURMURS]

TIME TO SHINE.

SUPPORT ARMS!

RIGHT SHOULDER, UP!

FORWARD!

LEFT FLANK.

ATTENTION. HALT!

Announcer: THE GEORGE WASHINGTON MILITARY ACADEMY DRILL TEAM.

Announcer: RAWEIGH HIGH SCHOOL UNARMED COMPETITION.

AYE AYE, SIR!

Announcer: RAWEIGH HIGH SCHOOL DRILL TEAM.

[GIVES COMMAND]

[GIVES COMMAND]

FORWARD, MARCH!

Drill cadets: U.S.S.G.

Drill cadets: SIR!

I EXPECT YOU ALL TO DO A HECK OF A LOT BETTER NEXT TIME.

WE OBVIOUSLY HAVE TO PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.

THAT PERFORMANCE TODAY WAS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL--

COME ON, GIVE IT A REST.

IT'S NOT PRACTICE THAT WE NEED.

IN THE REGULATION PHASE, WE'RE AS GOOD AS ANYBODY.

THE PROBLEM IS THE EXHIBITION PHASE.

I MEAN, WE NEED INSPIRATION...

ORIGINALITY...

CREATIVITY.

ANYWAYS, GOOD JOB, PEOPLE.

WE'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME, WHEN IT COUNTS.

DISMISSED.

[DOOR SHUTS]

AROUND. UNH. MM!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH, NOTHING.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING

I THOUGHT WOULD CHEER YOU UP.

DO IT AGAIN.

AND THAT'S AN ORDER.

SIR, YES, SIR!

Kelly, sighing: OK, HERE WAS MY TO-DO LIST...

KEEP SIR AND MOM'S RELATIONSHIP GOING,

SHEPHERD A BABY INTO THE WORLD,

AND WIN A DRILL TEAM MEDAL FOR BRAD.

I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.

WISH ME LUCK.

Drill instructor: 1, 2, 3, Cadets: ONE!

1, 2, 3, 2!

HEY.

HEY, YOURSELF, PRIVATE.

WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S A BRACELET YOU TIE ON YOUR WRIST.

YOU MAKE A WISH, AND WHEN IT FALLS OFF, YOUR WISH COMES TRUE.

OR A SCARF FROM NEPAL.

BANGLES FROM THE BAZAAR IN MARRAKESH.

YOU KNOW, I FEEL KINDA SILLY

OFFERING YOU THESE THINGS,

BUT IT'S ALL I GOT.

WHAT'S THE CATCH?

I'VE DECIDED TO TRY OUT FOR THE DRILL TEAM...

AND I NEED YOU TO BE MY COACH.

IT WOULDN'T BE PROFESSIONAL

IF YOU DIDN'T LET ME PAY YOU.

Kelly: ONCE AGAIN, I HAD SEEN IT PROVEN TRUE.

ACCESSORIES ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

WHO IS THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF

OF THE ARMED FORCES

OF THE UNITED STATES!?

WAIT A MINUTE. I KNOW THIS.

♪ I'M NOT YOUR AVERAGE TYPE OF GIRL ♪

HOW MANY COUNTS FROM RIGHT SHOULDER ARMS

TO PORT ARMS?!

DID YOU JUST SAY, "HOW MANY ARMS DOES A SHOULDER HAVE?"

SPIN ORDER ARMS.

♪ SO FROM MY HEAD TO TOE ♪

♪ I'M TAKING FULL CONTROL ♪

♪ I'LL MAKE IT ON MY OWN THIS TIME ♪

♪ Better watch me shine ♪

♪ BETTER WATCH OUT, GOIN' FOR THE KNOCKOUT ♪

♪ AND I WON'T STOP TILL I'M ON TOP NOW ♪

♪ NOT GONNA GIVE UP ♪

♪ UNTIL I GET WHAT'S MINE ♪

♪ BETTER CHECK THAT I'M ABOUT TO UPSET ♪

♪ AND I'M GLAD NOW, SO YOU BETTER STEP BACK ♪

♪ I'M TAKING OVER, SO WATCH ME SHINE ♪

♪ OOH OOH ♪

♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH, YEAH...♪

HOW'D I DO?

NOT BAD...

FOR A MAGGOT.

♪ BET YOU DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE IT ♪

WHAT'S NEXT? NOTHING.

NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO.

♪ BUT MY MIND AND BODY ARE STRONG ♪

♪ BET YOU DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE IT ♪

TRYOUTS FOR THE NEW ELEMENTS ARE ON WEDNESDAY,

AND YOU...

ARE READY.

[GLEEFUL SHRIEK]

♪ AND I WON'T STOP TILL I'M ON TOP NOW ♪

THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

GLORIA, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

[SHRIEKS]

♪ BETTER CHECK THAT, I'M ABOUT TO UPSET ♪

♪ AND I'M GLAD NOW, SO YOU BETTER STEP BACK ♪

♪ I'M TAKING OVER, SO WATCH ME SHINE ♪

♪ Watch me shine ♪

♪ Heh! Watch me ♪

YEAH, REAL CHEERLEADER STUFF, BRAD.

I HOPE YOU NOTICED THE FLAW IN HER EXECUTION.

THIS CONCLUDES THE TRYOUTS.

THE ROSTER FOR THE EXPANDED SPRING FLIGHT

WILL BE POSTED ON THE BOARD AT 0930 TOMORROW.

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE.

Drill leader: DISMISSED.

[PLAYING REVEILLE]

YEAH, I'M UP.

Girl: I CAN'T SEE.

[EXCITED MURMURING]

Guy: YEAH! Girl: I MADE IT.

CADET COLLINS.

Girl: I MADE IT.

IT'S COME TO MY ATTENTION,

WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE OR APPROVAL,

THAT YOU'VE TRIED OUT FOR THE DRILL TEAM.

SIR--SIR, YES, SIR.

AND THAT FURTHERMORE,

ON THE RECOMMENDATION OF CADET CAPTAIN RIGBY...

YOU'VE MADE IT.

CONGRATULATIONS.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU.

SO, DO WE HUG OR SALUTE OR SHAKE?

SOMETHING?

PERMISSION TO SPEAK, SIR.

I ADMIT,

IT WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR YOU TO SENTENCE ME TO THE DRILL TEAM.

IT WAS A GREAT LESSON FOR ME.

BUT, SIR, YOU HAVE SOME LESSONS TO LEARN, TOO.

AND, UH...

WHAT MIGHT THOSE BE?

WE HAVE A BABY TO RAISE, SIR,

AND FRANKLY, I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO NEED MY HELP.

BABIES CAN'T SALUTE. THEY'RE LITTLE.

THEY CRY EVEN WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE TO.

THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY CLEAN,

BUT THEY SMELL PRETTY GOOD MOST OF THE TIME.

THEY HAVE TO BE SMILED AT CONSTANTLY,

AND YOU HAVE TO CARRY THEM AROUND ALL NIGHT AND DAY.

IF NOT, THEY TEND TO YELL.

PERMISSION TO TEACH.

[SIGHING]

Cadets: HUT, HUT, HUT,

HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT...

Girl: I HAVE TO GO TO THE INFIRMARY.

♪ GOT YOUR OWN FATE, JUST DANCE IN MY HEAD ♪

♪ UH-HUH ♪

♪ COLD, LIKE IN MY ISOLATION CELL ♪

♪ IN THE WINTER ♪

♪ WHEN I'M KISSING MR. FREEZE ♪

♪ TAKE THE WEATHERMAN AND THROW HIM AWAY ♪

♪ HEY HEY ♪

♪ LOVE IS A DESERT, AND I NEED IT TO RAIN ♪

♪ YOU ARE SO GOOD ♪

♪ AT KEEPIN' ME COMPANY ♪

♪ YOU ARE RELATING TO A PSYCHOPATH ♪

♪ YOUR ROLE MODEL IS IN THERAPY ♪

♪ YOU MUST BE REAL FAR GONE ♪

♪ YOU'RE RELATING TO A PSYCHOPATH ♪

OOH-WA!

♪ NOAH'S ELEPHANTS ARE LEAVING THE ARK ♪

♪ IN 8s ♪

♪ LOVE IS BUTTER, WON'T YOU BE MY BREAD? ♪

♪ CRICKETS SING IN 3-PART HARMONY ♪

♪ I TRY TO WALK AWAY ♪

♪ I CHOKE AND I STUMBLE ♪

♪ I'M FLYIN' BACK SO LISTEN CLOSE WHEN I MUMBLE ♪

♪ THAT YOU ARE SO GOOD AT KEEPIN' ME COMPANY ♪

♪ YEAH, GIRL ♪

♪ YOU ARE RELATING TO A PSYCHOPATH ♪

♪ YOUR ROLE MODEL IS IN THERAPY ♪

♪ YOU MUST BE REAL FAR GONE ♪

♪ YOU'RE RELATING TO A PSYCHOPATH ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

♪ IT NEVER ADDS UP WHEN YOU DO YOUR MATH ♪

♪ YOU ARE RELATING TO A PSYCHOPATH ♪

HOLD THIS FOR ME. ♪ YES, YOU'RE REAL FAR GONE ♪

♪ YOU'RE RELATING TO A PSYCHOPATH ♪

♪ OH, A PSYCHOPATH ♪

♪ OH, I'M A PSYCHOPATH... ♪

BRAVO.

THAT IS-- THAT IS GREAT.

I MEAN, WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING. THOSE MOVES.

I MEAN, I THINK WE COULD WORK SOMETHING LIKE THAT

INTO THE EXHIBITION PHASE AT THE REGIONALS.

WHAT?!

YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

TH-TH-TH-THIS IS MY SOLO.

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I DID.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER.

I MEAN, THERE WAS FIRE, SPIRIT.

OUR TEAM COULD USE A LITTLE MORE OF THAT.

DO IT AGAIN. IT WAS GOOD.

HMM.

THE BATTLE OF THE CHOISIN RESERVOIR,

IN THE FRIGID WINTER OF 1950-51,

WAS NOT A RETREAT,

BUT AN ADVANCE TO THE REAR.

ONE OF THE GREATEST STRATEGIC RESCUE OPERATIONS

IN MILITARY HISTORY,

EVEN IF IT WAS THE MARINES.

[CLASS LAUGHS]

SO, ADVANCING TO THE REAR IS A GOOD THING?

IN THIS CASE, AN EXCELLENT THING.

THE FIRST DIVISION STAYED TOGETHER,

WORKED TOGETHER,

AND SURVIVED TOGETHER.

Kelly: WOW. IT CONTINUED TO AMAZE ME

THAT THE STUFF YOU LEARN IN MILITARY SCHOOL

COULD ACTUALLY APPLY TO REAL LIFE.

I SUDDENLY UNDERSTOOD WHY IT WAS IMPORTANT TO STOMACH JENNIFER.

HI.

UH, I MEAN, MA'AM, HI, MA'AM.

MA'AM, THIS CADET HAS SOME REALLY COOL IDEAS

ABOUT A ROUTINE THAT SHE'D LIKE TO SHARE

WITH THE CAPTAIN.

OH. COOL IDEAS, HUH?

WELL, I'M SURE YOU TOLD BRAD.

MA'AM, NO, MA'AM.

YOU ARE MY PARTNER...

AND COMMANDING OFFICER.

I WORK WITH YOU.

PERMISSION TO DISCUSS, CADET.

BOY, IS DAD GONNA BE SURPRISED.

HE THINKS DINNER COMES IN THOSE LITTLE WHITE CONTAINERS

YOU GET AT CHINESE RESTAURANTS.

[CHUCKLES] [DOORBELL RINGS]

[GASPS] I'LL GET IT!

DAD. HEY.

OH!

DAD.

[DAD LAUGHING]

OH. I MISS YOU.

OH. OH.

AHH.

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, ADAM.

HEY, THANKS.

NICE OF YOU TO HAVE ME, JOE.

OH. MMM.

AND NICE OF YOU TO TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE

OF OUR LITTLE GIRL.

[KELLY GIGGLES]

MMM. OH, HEY, HEY. HEY, HEY.

LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU.

NOW, CLOSE YOUR EYES.

NO PEEKING.

HEY!

OPEN.

[GASPS]

BRUNEI. AH!

THE SULTAN GAVE ME A SPECIAL PRICE JUST FOR YOU.

[CHUCKLES] OH!

HELLO, ADAM. HEY, SAM.

YOU'RE LOOKING...

BIG.

THANK YOU.

HUGE.

SO YOU SAID.

[LAUGHS]

OK, UH, DINNER WILL BE READY IN 5 MINUTES.

WELL, MAYBE 6. I HOPE YOU LIKE TURKEY.

OH, AND GUESS WHAT. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

WHEN I BOUGHT THIS TURKEY, IT WAS RAW.

NO. YES. MM-HMM.

[LAUGHTER]

REMEMBER WHAT I WROTE TO YOU

ABOUT ROCK CLIMBING IN TODAY MAGAZINE?

UH-HUH.

WELL, I HAVE TAKEN AN ASSIGNMENT

RIGHT HERE IN THE HUDSON VALLEY.

EXTREME CLIMBING IN THE SHAWANGUNK MOUNTAINS.

[LAUGHS] I'LL BE SHOOTING

AT ROCKRIDGE POINT, WHICH MEANS...

I'LL BE ABLE TO SEE YOU IN THE DRILL TEAM COMPETITION.

OH! AH!

SO, I'M JUST GONNA

GET SOME SHOTS IN THE EARLY MORNING,

AND THEN IT'S YOU AND ME AT 11 A.M.

WE'LL EVEN SYNCHRONIZE OUR WATCHES AND EVERYTHING.

PROMISE?

PROMISE.

Cadet on P.A.: ATTENTION MASTER-LEVEL COMPETITORS,

NOW HEAR THIS.

THE INSPECTION PHASE FOR ALL FLIGHTS

WILL BEGIN IN THE FIELD HOUSE AT 1100 HOURS.

[SIGHS]

SIR. RIGBY.

WE'RE GONNA BLOW 'EM OUT OF THEIR SOCKS,

BECAUSE THIS TIME WE HAVE SOMETHING NO ONE'S EVER SEEN BEFORE--

OUR SECRET WEAPONS.

CADET CAPTAIN STONE. SIR.

I'D LIKE YOU TO CHECK THE SCHEDULE AND REPORT BACK IMMEDIATELY.

YES, SIR.

CADET KELLY, YES, SIR.

I WANT YOU TO DOUBLE-CHECK

THE RIFLES SO THAT-- [GASPS]

HA HA HA!

[SQUEALS]

OR NOT.

[SQUEALS]

[SQUEALS] [SQUEALS]

[SQUEALS] [SQUEALS]

HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

WELL, YOUR MOM CALLED MY MOM,

AND MY MOM CALLED THE CAR SERVICE.

Kelly: AHH!

EVERYONE, THIS IS AMANDA.

SHE'S MY BEST AND TRUEST FRIEND.

[KELLY AND AMANDA GIGGLING AND TALKING]

Kelly: YEAH, OK. SO THIS IS GLORIA, ROSE...

GLAD TO MEET YOU!

Kelly: TAYLOR, ALLISON, AND SARA.

I'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ALL

TO THIS YEAR'S NORTHEAST REGIONAL DRILL TEAM COMPETITION.

[WHISTLING AND CHEERING]

LET ME SAY TO ALL THE FATHERS AND MOTHERS PRESENT TODAY,

YOU OUGHT TO BE VERY, VERY PROUD,

OF THESE YOUNG PEOPLE.

[CHEERING]

LET THE INSPECTION PHASE BEGIN!

AND MAY THE BEST FLIGHT WIN!

WHAT DO THE STRIPES ON THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA REPRESENT?

SIR, THE 13 ORIGINAL COLONIES, SIR!

HOW MANY COUNTS ARE THERE TO A RIGHT-FACE MOVEMENT?

[OVERLAPPING QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS]

WHO IS THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF OF THE ARMED FORCES OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?

SIR, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, SIR!

HOW DOES THE CADET RENDER A COURTESY TO A SUPERIOR OFFICER

WHEN NOT IN FORMATION?

SIR, WHEN RENDERING COURTESY TO AN INDIVIDUAL

WITH THE CADET'S RIFLE AT RIGHT SHOULDER,

LEFT SHOULDER, OR REPORT ARMED,

AND NOT IN FORMATION, SIR,

THE CADET WILL EXECUTE PRESENT ARMS, SIR!

THE CADET WILL PLEASE DEMONSTRATE.

AS YOU WERE.

[OVERLAPPING QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS CONTINUE]

A PERFECT 10 ACROSS THE BOARD.

WAY TO GO, PEOPLE. [CHEERING]

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. LET'S NOT REST ON OUR LAURELS.

WE'RE GONNA TAKE THIS ONE ALL THE WAY HOME.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[RING]

WHAT WAS THAT?

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[SIGHS]

IT'S MY DAD. HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

[RING]

DAD?!

DAD?!

DAD!

[BEEP]

IF THAT HAD GONE OFF IN THERE,

THE WHOLE FLIGHT--

THE WHOLE FLIGHT WOULD HAVE BEEN SUMMARILY DISQUALIFIED,

THANKS TO YOU! Brad: YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING,

BRINGING A PHONE IN THERE!

MY DAD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CALLS ME ON IT,

AND ONLY WHEN HE REALLY NEEDS TO TALK TO ME!

IT'S OUR LIFELINE.

I'M SORRY.

MAYBE YOUR TRUEST FRIEND CAN HELP YOU OUT OF THIS ONE?

I--CARLA, I WASN'T THINKING WHEN I SAID THAT.

I'M SO SORRY.

Brad: OK, PEOPLE.

DON'T WANDER OFF. STAY CLOSE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE THIS ONE OUR BEST SHOT.

[SIGHS]

Man on P.A.: ATTENTION, MASTER-LEVEL FLIGHTS,

THE REGULATION PHASE FOR THE GEORGE WASHINGTON MILITARY ACADEMY

RAWEIGH HIGH SCHOOL, AND JEFFERSON HIGH SCHOOL

WILL BEGIN IN 10 MINUTES.

[BEEP]

[DIALS NUMBER]

Man on P.A.: FLIGHT LEADERS...

Brad: ATTEN-HUT!

Man on P.A.: ...AND THAT ALL EQUIPMENT IS READY FOR USE.

AT EASE.

WELL, I'VE LOOKED FORWARD TO THIS--

NOT FOR MONTHS, FOR YEARS.

YOU LOOK GOOD. I KNOW YOU'RE READY...

AND I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR REPRESENTING OUR SCHOOL.

IT MEANS A LOT TO ME.

DO US PROUD.

LET'S DO IT AGAIN.

HEY...WIN OR LOSE, YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT.

SIR, YES, SIR.

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S NOTHING, SIR. IT'S NOTHING.

I KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW IT'S NEVER NOTHING.

TALK TO ME, CADET. WHAT'S WRONG?

SIR, THIS CADET'S WORRIED THAT HER FATHER'S HURT.

WHY, HAVE YOU HEARD SOMETHING?

SIR, NO, SIR...

BUT HE'S NOT HERE, AND HE PROMISED HE'D BE HERE.

YOU HEARD HIM!

THIS CADET'S FATHER'S KNOWN TO TAKE CHANCES.

HIS CELL PHONE IS OUT, AND THAT NEVER HAPPENS.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD FROM HIM?

HE TRIED TO CALL ME A COUPLE HOURS AGO, SIR,

BUT THE LINE WENT DEAD.

WELL, THAT HAPPENS. SIR, YES, SIR,

BUT HE'S NOT HERE, AND HE KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO ME!

YOU WANT TO GO LOOK FOR HIM?

NO, SIR. THIS CADET WILL STAY WITH HER FLIGHT.

THIS CADET WILL NOT LET HER TEAM DOWN.

THIS CADET WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN.

I JUST KNOW SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO HIM, THOUGH.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

I JUST KNOW, OK?

LET'S GO FIND HIM.

NEGATIVE, SIR. THIS CADET KNOWS

HOW IMPORTANT THIS COMPETITION IS TO THE COMMANDANT.

THIS CADET KNOWS HER DUTY...

AND THIS CADET--

CADET, MAJOR RIGBY CAN HANDLE IT.

THEY'LL GO DOWN TO 3 ELEMENTS.

THIS CADET ALSO HAS A DUTY TO HER FATHER.

LET'S GO.

THANK YOU, SIR.

HE SAID HE WAS GONNA BE AT ROCKRIDGE POINT.

I KNOW WHERE THAT IS.

ALL YOURS, SIR!

EVERYONE ACCOUNTED FOR?

UM, HOLD ON.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

GUESS WHO'S MISSING.

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

DAD!

DAD!

THIS IS HIS CAMERA BAG.

GLORIA.

TELL THE FOURTH ELEMENT TO STAND DOWN.

ONCE A MAGGOT, ALWAYS A MAGGOT.

DAD!

DAD!

DAD!

DAD!

DAD!

COMMAND CENTER, COLONEL MAXWELL.

WE HAVE A MAN DOWN ROUGHLY 1.6 MILES

DUE SOUTH OF COUNTY ROAD 35 NEAR ROCKRIDGE POINT.

REQUEST RESCUE TEAM AND AMBULANCE IMMEDIATELY.

ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING DOWN TO HIM.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. I CAN'T RISK IT.

WE WAIT FOR THE RESCUE SQUAD.

SIR, I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE MY FATHER ALONE.

I'M GOING TO RAPPEL DOWN TO HIM.

AND YOU CAN'T DO IT BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO HEAVY

AND I CAN'T PULL YOU BACK UP.

IT HAS TO BE ME.

DON'T WORRY. I'VE BEEN TRAINED.

I--I CAN DO THIS.

GEORGE WASHINGTON MILITARY ACADEMY

REQUESTS YOUR PERMISSION

TO UTILIZE YOUR DRILL DECK, SIR!

Man: PERMISSION GRANTED.

I CAN'T SEE WHERE SHE IS.

OK, JUST EASE YOURSELF OVER THE SIDE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUSH.

UHH.

ONE FOOT AT A TIME, SLOW!

NICE AND EASY.

CONCENTRATE. YOU CAN DO IT!

UHH.

YOU OK?

I'M FINE!

WANT ME TO PULL YOU BACK UP?

NO, SIR.

[SOFTLY] KELLY.

CAN YOU MAKE IT?

Kelly: THE ROPE'S TOO SHORT.

UHH.

KELLY.

AAAAAH!

[SIGHS] DAD!

UHH!

DAD!

UHH, KEL. HEH HEH.

THAT FIRST STEP'S A DOOZY.

OHH, DAD.

HEH HEH HEH. [SIGHS]

REPORT!

SITUATION UNDER CONTROL, SIR!

All: G.W.M.A., SIR!

HEH HEH.

WELL DONE...

KELLY.

Kelly: AT THAT MOMENT...

I REALIZED THAT SIR WAS READY TO HAVE THIS BABY.

THIS REALLY IS A PHOTO OP.

IF ONLY I HAD MY CAMERA.

I WOULD SHOW...MY DAD...

AND...MY DAD.

BOTH BRAVE, BOTH SAFE...

AND BOTH MINE.

2 DADS.

AND, KELLY, UH,

YOU CAN HAVE 2 BEST FRIENDS.

Kelly: SIR WENT INTO FATHER MODE SO QUICKLY,

THE ONLY THING I COULD DO WAS SMILE.

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE...

I DON'T QUITE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.

WE'RE DOWN BY 5 POINTS.

YOU AND KELLY ARE OUR ONLY CHANCE.

I KNEW IT.

I KNEW IT.

I KNEW THAT SHE WAS JUST A LITTLE--

MAGGOT?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY, MA'AM?

OR WERE YOU GOING TO CALL ME MA'AM?

IF SO, YOU MUST BE CONFUSED.

AT EASE.

ON MY ORDER,

KELLY HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY EXCUSED

FROM THE REGULATION PHASE.

CARRY ON.

AND...GOOD LUCK.

SIR!

CADET KELLY COLLINS REPORTING FOR DUTY, SIR...

AND EXPECTING TO WIN.

P.A.: ATTENTION, FLIGHT FINALISTS,

THE EXHIBITION PHASE WILL BEGIN IN 5 MINUTES.

OK, PEOPLE!

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE. FALL OUT.

YOU GO, GIRLS.

IT'S NOT THAT I LIKE AMANDA BETTER.

IT'S JUST THAT I'VE LIKED HER LONGER.

I'M SORRY.

FRIENDS?

YEAH.

P.A.: REPRESENTING THE GEORGE WASHINGTON MILITARY ACADEMY:

CADET CAPTAIN JENNIFER STONE

AND CADET KELLY COLLINS...

IN UNARMED COMPETITION.

WE HAVE A LOT OF GROUND TO MAKE UP 'CAUSE OF YOU.

IT'S A GOOD THING WE'RE EXCELLENT AT THIS.

ATTEN-HUT!

LET'S DO IT.

♪ I WEAR A DISGUISE ♪

♪ I'M JUST YOUR AVERAGE JANE ♪

♪ THE SUPER DOESN'T STAND FOR MODEL ♪

♪ BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M PLAIN ♪

♪ IF ALL YOU SEE IS HOW I LOOK ♪

♪ YOU MISS THE SUPERCHICK WITHIN ♪

♪ AND I CHRISTEN YOU TITANIC ♪

♪ UNDERESTIMATE AND SWIM ♪

♪ AND I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

Both: G.W.M.A!

♪ AND I'LL BE EVERYTHING ♪

♪ THAT I WANT TO BE ♪

♪ I AM CONFIDENCE IN INSECURITY ♪

♪ I AM A VOICE YET WAITING TO BE HEARD ♪

♪ I'LL SHOOT THE SHOT--BANG ♪

♪ THAT YOU HEAR 'ROUND THE WORLD ♪

♪ AND I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ SOME PEOPLE SEE THE REVOLUTION ♪

♪ BUT MOST ONLY SEE THE GIRL ♪

♪ I CAN LOSE MY HARD-EARNED FREEDOM ♪

♪ IF MY FEAR DEFINES MY WORLD ♪

♪ I DECLARE MY INDEPENDENCE ♪

♪ FROM THE CRITICS AND THEIR STONES ♪

♪ I CAN FIND MY REVOLUTION ♪

♪ I CAN LEARN TO STAND ALONE ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE EVERYTHING ♪

♪ THAT I WANNA BE ♪

♪ I AM CONFIDENCE IN INSECURITY ♪

♪ I AM A VOICE YET WAITING TO BE HEARD ♪

♪ I'LL SHOOT THE SHOT--BANG ♪

♪ THAT YOU HEAR 'ROUND THE WORLD ♪

♪ AND I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

♪ EVERYTHING ♪

[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

WHOO-HOO!

♪ I AM A VOICE YET WAITING TO BE HEARD ♪

♪ I'LL SHOOT THE SHOT--BANG ♪

♪ THAT YOU HEAR 'ROUND THE WORLD ♪

WHOOO!

♪ I'M A ONE-GIRL REVOLUTION ♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.

SPECTACULAR.

I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN A BETTER REGIONAL...

OR A CLOSER ONE, EITHER.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...

THIRD PLACE, THE BRONZE...

GOES TO THOMAS JEFFERSON HIGH SCHOOL

OF REDDING, CONNECTICUT.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS AND CHEERS]

AND THE WINNER...

IN THE CLOSEST VOTING SINCE THE COMPETITION BEGAN...

IS...

BY ONE POINT...

RAWEIGH HIGH SCHOOL WHO TAKES THE GOLD!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

WHO TAKES THE SILVER.

WELL DONE, ALL.

WE GOT BEAT.

NO, WE DIDN'T. WE MEDALED.

WE'RE GOING TO THE NATIONALS.

IT'S MY FAULT.

IF I HADN'T HAVE--

THAT'S RIGHT.

IF YOU HADN'T JOINED THE TEAM...

WE WOULD'VE NEVER GOTTEN THIS FAR.

Kelly: RIGHT THEN,

I KNEW I WOULD BE TELLING MY GRANDCHILDREN ABOUT THIS SOME DAY.

UM...

UHH.

HEH HEH HEH.

NEXT YEAR, WE'LL BE EVEN BETTER.

IF YOU AND I CAN WORK ON OUR ROUTINES TOGETHER,

THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT--

ACTUALLY, THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A NEXT YEAR FOR ME.

YOU SEE, MY--MY FATHER GOT TRANSFERRED TO EUROPE,

SO, UH...

I'M MOVING.

BUT I DO HAVE ONE WISH FOR YOU, CADET.

THAT YOU BECOME A PLATOON LEADER...

AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH A LITTLE MAGGOT,

HEH, JUST LIKE YOU.

Brad: FLIGHT, FALL IN!

FORWARD...HUNH!

RIGHT...FACE!

HALT!

LEFT...FACE!

PRESENT...ARMS!

SPIN ORDER...ARMS!

Kelly: SINCE THIS IS MY FIRST AUTOBIOGRAPHY...

I MIGHT NOT HAVE GOTTEN EVERYTHING RIGHT.

THE EVENTS ARE TRUE,

THE FEELINGS ARE GENUINE,

AND MY MEMOIRS ARE FINISHED...

BUT I MIGHT'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT EVERYONE WAS WEARING.

[CHUCKLES]

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