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1
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There's no room!
2
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,400
Dad? Dad?
3
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,240
Dad?
There's no room!
4
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,720
No, no, no. No. Fuck, Dad, please?
5
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,160
I told you, there's no room.
Fuck!
6
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,200
Told you. Find someplace else.
7
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,240
Fuck!
8
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,840
Fuck!
9
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,760
What do you think?
10
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,720
I'd have used flame-throwers.
11
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,560
What you... Wh-What?
12
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,920
Flamethrowers, against the zombies.
No. I didn't say...
13
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,560
Or...
14
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,600
Or a crossbow with flaming arrows.
15
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:21,480
From an elevated position. And you
just pick them off. One by one.
16
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,120
I didn't say zombies, did I?
They sound like zombies.
17
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,280
Didn't say zombies. I said they're
like normal-looking people.
18
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:32,040
Yeah, but what if the zombies have
developed the ability to disguise themselves as normal people?
19
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:36,400
It's like three times, I've told you
now that they're not zombies and it's just not sinking in.
20
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,200
They were normal-looking people.
21
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,560
And the reason I'm having these
fucked-up dreams, it's cos of all them pills you've put me on.
22
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,760
If you pick me up and shook me,
I'd sound I'm like a maraca.
23
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:50,640
You can point your finger at the
meds for your sleep distribution, but the content of your dreams,
24
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,960
that's between you
and your subconscious.
25
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,600
And there's environmental
considerations.
26
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,240
Well, like what?
27
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,560
Like living alone in the big,
dark woods smoking fat blunts
28
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:06,800
and watching the serial killer
documentaries till you fall asleep. I find 'em fucking fascinating.
29
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,840
Soothing.
30
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,240
Look, why don't you try
a change of scene?
31
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:17,120
Go and stay somewhere else, see if
that has any effect on your dreams.
32
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:20,000
Or, failing that, buy yourself
a flame-thrower.
33
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,040
For fuck's sake.
34
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,080
Do you want to see something
horrible?
35
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:28,160
Yeah. Go on. I had this patient
in today. Have you seen the Elephant Man?
36
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,120
Yeah, I've seen the Elephant Man,
yeah. John Merrick.
37
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,160
Makes John Merrick look like
Linda Lusardi. Watch this.
38
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,320
Oh, fuck.
39
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,240
Wait till I zoom in.
I couldn't do anything with it.
40
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,400
I went through three knives!
41
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,240
I shouldn't show it to you.
42
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,880
Oh, I hate myself.
43
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:47,520
Jim's got a spare room.
44
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,760
Yeah, but it's... But it's a racist
room. Do you know what I mean?
45
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,040
I can't be staying in a racist room,
it's gonna make me feel worse.
46
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,480
Stay at mine, if you like.
I not staying at yours...
47
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,720
Fuck.Sorry.
Why would I stay at yours?
48
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,760
You've got... I'm sorry.
Come on.
49
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,000
You've got a llama,
there's fucking Carol.
50
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:07,120
I just... I need my own space.
You don't like sharing a toilet is more like it.
51
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,560
No, I don't like sharing a toilet,
Dylan, because I'm a shy...
52
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:16,400
I'm... I'm a shy poo-er and I don't
like the idea someone could just fucking blaze on in on me, mid-squit.
53
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:20,720
Why don't you stop here tonight?
Kath and Sandra are off to see Tinsley in Rhyl.
54
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,920
You'd have the whole pub
to yourself. Yeah? Kath's room.
55
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,040
The decor is a bit niche,
but she has a lovely, comfy bed.
56
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:31,680
Ashley, where the fuck is everyone?
I've got the pub to myself here and everyone has deserted me.
57
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,920
I'm with Tommo.
Helping him out with something.
58
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,640
Oh yeah? What's the big mystery?
59
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,240
Er, nothing, no, no.
It's, er, just this thing.
60
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,960
What thing?
61
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:45,360
I borrowed 50 quid off him, there
last week and now he's got me paying it back, doing a bunch of...
62
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,600
'entertaining' for these old girls.
63
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,240
Ha ha! You're joking?
64
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,880
I wish I was.
65
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,480
Right! Chop-chop.
66
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,840
Show time! Now, then...
I have to go, Vin.
67
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,080
I want you to get out there...
68
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,640
and give those lovely ladies
a fucking night to remember.
69
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,320
Here. Do summat sexy with it.
70
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,600
He loves it, really.
71
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,640
Ah, that's it.
72
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,080
Go on! Gerrin!
73
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,840
Gina will be in first thing
to clean. I'll be in from ten to open up.
74
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,880
Right.
75
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,320
Night love.
Night, love.
76
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,160
Hm...
77
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,200
What the neighbours didn't
realise was that Robinson had, in fact, killed his mother
78
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:57,040
several years earlier and slept
alongside her mummified remains in her bed.
79
00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,960
During a search of the property,
the police uncovered the remains of
80
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,240
12 bodies that had been dismembered,
as well as a trophy wall
81
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:07,160
featuring framed photographs
of each of his victims...
82
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:16,320
...victims throughout their own
homes in the dead of night.
83
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,280
It's like
a self-perpetuating nightmare.
84
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,200
My fucking subconscious is out
to get me or summat.
85
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,840
Hm?
Fuck me... Dyldo?
86
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,160
Are you listening, you? No, I am.
All right, what did I just say then?
87
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,760
You were going on about zombies
or something.
88
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,400
I didn't say zombies.
89
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,200
I never mentioned zombies.
Nobody listens to me!
90
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,080
Dude, I'm baked man. You know?
What do you want me to say?
91
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,440
I don't fucking know
what I want you to say.
92
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:44,040
I've just told you I've just had
a brutal dream, about a group of sinister fucking...
93
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,680
joggers.
94
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,360
Wow.
95
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,920
Fuck off!
96
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,960
Dude, it wasn't real, was it?
97
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,200
If it were real, then I'd be more
engaged, but it wasn't, so I'm not.
98
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,920
Oh, lah-di-dah!
99
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,560
Fucking Dylan.
100
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,200
Jesus Christ, forgive me.
101
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,920
Forgive me for not having
a more engaging zombie dream.
102
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,440
- Dylan, the police are downstairs!
- What?
103
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,920
The police are downstairs.
Fuck. Vin, I've got to go.
104
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,600
They want to talk to you. What?
What do they want? Did they say what it was about?
105
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,760
No, but they don't look happy.
Shit, shit, shit, shit. I'm too high for this. Jesus Christ!
106
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,520
Dylan?
Er... Er...
107
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,560
Dylan?
What? What?
108
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,040
Your face was priceless!
109
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,520
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Are the police here?
110
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,560
No. It's, erm, it's my parents.
111
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,920
Oh.
They've come back with some friends.
112
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,600
Come down and say hi.
113
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,000
Oh, everyone,
this is my friend, Dylan.
114
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,840
Hello, Dylan. Hi.
Hi, Dylan. Hi, Dylan.
115
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,920
Thanks...
116
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,800
for, er, well, for coming.
117
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,040
So, where do you come from, Dylan?
118
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,880
Upstairs.
119
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,600
In Sara's bedroom.
120
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,600
No, no. Not doing anything. Just...
121
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,480
I was... I was just watching her
get changed.
122
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,400
While she got changed.
123
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,600
I was looking right out of
the window for the duration of her being...
124
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,280
...naked.
125
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,320
Oh, sorry, sorry.
126
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,960
Oh.
127
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,480
It's on silent. Erm...
I probably should get this.
128
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,040
Hello. Yeah.
129
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,680
Damn. Right, OK.
130
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,840
Well, I... Yeah, I guess,
if it is an emergency, then...
131
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,800
My friend has... He's changed this
as a joke and I don't know how to...
132
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,840
Huh!
133
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:41,960
Dyl, you don't get it.
Hey, mate. Yeah. You hung up on a brother! Yeah, dude, man.
134
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,080
You'll never guess, right, there has
just been some crossed-line thing.
135
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:50,120
It wasn't ringing then. Then it did,
just now. So, all right, then, yeah.
136
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,160
Dylan! What a fucker!
137
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,400
So, erm...
138
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,440
Sara was telling me that...
139
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,960
that this house was...
was built in...
140
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,240
1947.
141
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,760
If I was ever designing a house
like this, I would probably...
142
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:08,040
I'd probably take pictures of this
and copy it, you know.
143
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:15,600
...after the shocking discovery
that neighbours later recalled having heard strange
144
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,960
dull, thudding sounds
emanating from the property...
145
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,520
Oh, shit.
146
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,680
Fuck!
147
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,560
Fuck!
148
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,840
Come on.
149
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,880
I have to say, Cardi,
I'm very impressed.
150
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,080
Oh, do you like it?
Oh, it's perfect.
151
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,240
You've gone to so much trouble.
Well, you're worth it.
152
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:07,840
I watched a video online which
showed you how to... d-d-de-beard a mussel.
153
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,720
Oh? You just... You take hold of
its beard and tug it, firmly.
154
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,040
Oh, is that right? You have to take
charge of it, do you?
155
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,080
Be firm and dominate it?
156
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,040
Pull its hair and...
show it who is the boss?
157
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,080
Crazy Frog
158
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,440
Ignore it.
159
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,360
It's Vinnie. How did he...?
160
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,080
Turn the sound down, at least.
161
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,600
You were telling me
how you used a firm hand.
162
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,760
Oh, yeah. It took us ages
to find the shallots. Right?
163
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,800
Cos I didn't know what they were.
164
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:41,480
But it turns out they're just like
l-l-little onions.
165
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,520
And the erm...
166
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,760
the mussels I just got off John.
167
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,800
John?
168
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,840
You're talking about John the Nose?
169
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,880
That's right.
170
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,640
He tried to sell me, like,
a bag of mussels there,
171
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,360
like, over a week ago.
172
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,760
Yeah. That's right.
Luckily, he still had 'em.
173
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,920
The ones that were on the dash of
his transit van in a carrier bag?
174
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,640
That's the ones, yeah.
175
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,560
Jesus, Cardi.
176
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,800
They're fecking off,
you mad bastard.
177
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:16,320
You can't be eating shellfish that's
been in a carrier bag sat on the dash of a transit van for a week!
178
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,360
I knew it! I knew they were off.
Ah.
179
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,400
That'll be why they didn't open.
I had to use pliers.
180
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,440
Oh, fucking Jesus Christ, Cardi!
181
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,320
Oh, fuck! Eurgh!
182
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,160
I'm not going back out there.
183
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,120
They may be 90 years old,
but they're fucking rabid.
184
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,160
Come on, mate. Sweetheart...
185
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,000
Listen to me.
186
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,040
They're a bit over-excited.
187
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,200
But they're bound to be,
aren't they?
188
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,240
Some of them haven't seen a knob
up close since D-Day.
189
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,000
They're not just over-excited,
Tommo, are they?
190
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,640
They're all coked-up!
191
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:07,360
What? What's he on about? Coked-up?
What the fuck are you on about, you?
192
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:12,120
I fucking seen you selling gear
to a few of them old handbags out there, the rusty old wrist straps.
193
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,840
Listen to me. Sweetheart, right,
you're being paid to entertain.
194
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,000
Right? So mind your own fucking
business and get back out there.
195
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:24,440
You haven't a fucking chance. You're
not paying me enough to get molested by a load of senior citizens.
196
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,480
It's traumatising, Tommo!
197
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,680
They're properly out of control,
Tommo. They've breached the stage!
198
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,720
Fucking hell.
Come on.
199
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,760
Ladies...
200
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,640
Stop it! Give me that back! No!
201
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,680
Aw, baby!
Fucking hell!
202
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,960
Oh, yeah, that's bad. That is bad.
I shouldn't have given them any drugs.
203
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,240
Right, get the fucking door.
Lock it!
204
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,680
Turn that light off.
Turn the lights off!
205
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,160
Oh, sorry. Oh.
Oh. Hey.
206
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,200
Hi. Hi.
Hi.
207
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,240
You all right?
Yeah.
208
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,880
Yeah. Er...
209
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,800
Vinnie changed my ringtone.
210
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,760
No, things...
211
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,800
Things are good. Erm...
212
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,640
How's Tyler?
213
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,680
Yeah, he's amazing. As usual.
214
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,480
Hiya.
Hey.
215
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,520
Er... Er, sorry.
216
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:32,360
You've met... erm...
217
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:33,840
Erin.
218
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,880
That's Sara, Erin.
Erin! Hi!
219
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,600
Hi. Nice to meet you.
220
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,840
Oh, you, too, nice to meet you.
221
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,960
The... Erm...
I've heard so much about Tyler.
222
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,360
Have you? Yeah.
Aw, that's nice.
223
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,000
Is he with you?
224
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:53,600
Oh, no, no, no. Not at this time.
No. It's way past his bed time.
225
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,520
Well, he sounds like
a very special little boy.
226
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,560
Yeah, he is.
227
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,400
Right. Oh.
228
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,480
OK.
Hi.
229
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,520
Er, Sugar, this is...
Sara. Yeah.
230
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:07,160
It's...
231
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,240
Pleased to meet you.
Oh.
232
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,640
You're both looking very glam.
Off somewhere nice?
233
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:17,880
We're crashing a wedding.
No, not really. Just out... and about.About..
234
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,800
Anyway, we were... er...
just gonna go.
235
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,840
Yeah, we'd better pay for these.
236
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,120
No, I don't think...
Do you want these?
237
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,160
No, no, no.
Just...
238
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,800
Erm...
239
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,360
Have a fun night.
You, too. Nice meeting you.
240
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,000
Bye.
Erm...
241
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,040
Yeah.
242
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,640
You look really fucking glam?
Oh, don't!
243
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,560
What is she trying to say? Did you
hear what she said about Tyler?
244
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,800
As if he's gonna be in here,
at this time of night.
245
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,400
What kind of mum does she think
I am? She was such a bitch.
246
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,400
Posh bitch! You see the way she kept
pawing at him, as well? Gross!
247
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:58,240
So insecure. Love, we get it, you're
together. You don't have to keep touching him.
248
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,480
No-one's going to try and run off
with him. Proper phoney.
249
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,520
Sugar...
What?
250
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,040
She was nice.
251
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,560
She was all right.
Exactly what he needs.
252
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,200
Deserves.
253
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:15,760
I mean, just cos me and Jake didn't
work out, it doesn't mean that they shouldn't.
254
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,800
You want to know summat, as well?
255
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,000
I actually miss the chaos
of that lot.
256
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,640
Seriously.
257
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,640
You want some chaos?
Do you want some chaos? Please.
258
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,280
Let's go and get fucking bladdered!
259
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,120
# Sane, sane, they're all insane
260
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,720
# Fireman's blind,
the conductor is lame...
261
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,960
Fuck!
262
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,680
# ..clap your hands
263
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,200
# Clap your hands... #
264
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,880
Fuck me.
265
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,920
Shit.
266
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,960
Hello.
267
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,000
Hey, er... Hey, D-Man!
268
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,800
Er...
269
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,840
Come here a minute.
270
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:46,160
Oh, I swear, D-Man, you're getting
bigger every time I see you.
271
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,880
Been going to
t'gym, innit, Vinnie. What quarms?
272
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,320
I'll tell you
what fucking quarms, D-Man.
273
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,920
There's someone in the cellar.
274
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,160
What? You're having
a fucking laugh.
275
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:02,240
No. I'm not having a laugh.
I'm not having a fucking laugh. There's someone in the cellar.
276
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,040
Well, do you want
to shoot him with this?
277
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,800
Where on earth have you got that?
278
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,040
I never leave the house
without it.
279
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,800
Well, a fucking...
280
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,600
An AK-47 is a bit much,
don't you think, D-Man?
281
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,840
What are you being
a little bitch for?
282
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,200
I'm not being a little bitch!
283
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,880
You are being a little bitch.
What the fuck are you even wearing, man?
284
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,760
It's a co-ord. All right?
285
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,200
I'm actually on trend,
I'll have you know.
286
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,760
Are you having spray tans,
as well?
287
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,680
I've had one or two. I have had one
or two. It's the time of year, D-Man.
288
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,520
It's that time of year.
I'm fucking pasty, dude.
289
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,240
I don't look well. So, yes, I go and
have one or two spray tans.
290
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,360
And she's gradually getting darker.
291
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,680
Do you know, you've pissed me off
now, you've hurt my feelings.
292
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,400
I'm sorry, Vinnie.
293
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:51,920
You have, you've hurt my fucking
feelings. You come round here with an AK-47...
294
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,960
and you're unreasonable.
295
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,040
I think... I think I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave, D-Man.
296
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,960
Don't be like that, Vinnie.
297
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
No, no, no. Fucking, that's it now.
298
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,160
That's it. Shouldn't have mentioned
the spray tans.
299
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,800
Really got my back up.
You know I'm sensitive.
300
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,440
Sen... Sensitive.
301
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,080
Go on, get out, get out now.
302
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,720
Fuck.
303
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,080
Get out of it, get gone. Get out of
it, you pig! Go on, you cunt.
304
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,720
Fuck me.
305
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,320
Fuck.
306
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,360
All right, whoever you are...
307
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,720
...I'm gonna give you
to the count of ten.
308
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,200
And then that's... That's fucking it,
you're getting it.
309
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,360
One...
310
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,800
...two...
311
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:45,080
# I'd rather go fishing
than out on some date
312
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:48,080
# All you need to go fishing... #
313
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,520
Come on.
314
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,680
Oh, f-f-fuckkk!
315
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,080
...five...
Halfway there now, pal.
316
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,760
...six, seven...
317
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,120
You'll notice I'm racing through it,
cos I don't give a fuck.
318
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,120
...nine...
319
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,160
and three-quarters...
320
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,200
All right, that's ten.
321
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,240
I said this would happen.
322
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,280
I said this would happen.
323
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,200
Fuck.
324
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,200
Fuck.
325
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,400
Shit.
326
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,880
Vinnie?
327
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,120
Oh, Cardi, thank Christ!
Dude, listen.
328
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,920
Vinnie -No, shut up.
Listen, I need your help, man.
329
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,960
I'm dying.
What?
330
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,800
F-F-Food poisoning.
331
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,120
I made the woman I love shit her
pants in front of me, Vinnie.
332
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,560
Carol...
333
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,440
She can't...
334
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,880
She can't stop shitting.
335
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,120
I've never seen...
336
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,760
...anything like it.
337
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,440
I'm sorry to hear that, dude,
but I'm locked in the toilets at The Crow's Nest.
338
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,280
I -
I can't leave this toilet, Vinnie.
339
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,920
If I don't make it...
340
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,760
...I want you to have my things.
341
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,880
You don't have any things.
I have got things!
342
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,120
Just stay hydrated.
343
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,760
Fucking chips!
344
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,800
Jim! Jim?
345
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,800
Fucking looking at?
Jim! Jim! Jim!
346
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,840
Jim, up here! Jim!
347
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,080
You! What the fuck do you want?
348
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:58,120
Jim!
What?
349
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,280
Fuck off, you fucking cod-stealing
bastard shit.
350
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,520
Who are you talking to,
you fucking idiot?
351
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:09,000
These are my fucking chips,
so fucking fuck the fuck off.
352
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,240
Before I fucking -Nobody wants
your fucking chips, Jim!
353
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,280
Oi! Up here. Look up!
354
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,160
Look up! Jim, look up!
355
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,880
Fuck me.
You? Again?
356
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,240
I thought I fucking told you
to fuck off, didn't I?
357
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,600
If you look at my fucking chips
one more time...
358
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,640
Look up!
359
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,040
Fuck! Jim!
360
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,880
Are you all right, dude?
361
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,080
# What is love? Baby, don't... #
362
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,120
What are you singing Haddaway for?
363
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,160
Fucking wanker.
364
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,200
Fucking hurt my fucking head!
365
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,160
Cunts.
366
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,480
Fuck.
367
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,840
Shit.
368
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,680
Shit!
369
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,920
Hey, up, mate.
370
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,760
Oi!
371
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,240
Fuck!
372
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,160
Please don't be dead.
373
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,640
Which fucking side, is it?
374
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,720
Fuck!
375
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,440
Who the fuck are you?
376
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,760
Shit.
377
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,720
# WHAT IS LOVE?
What's happened? Er... Er, nothing.
378
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,840
I've known you long enough to know
that you wouldn't be calling me
379
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,240
at this time of night if there
hadn't been some drama.
380
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,720
So, go on. No, no, no,
listen, nothing's happened.
381
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,240
There's nothing... There's nothing
to worry about.
382
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,280
Vinnie, I'm fucking with you!
Ha!
383
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,600
What are you like?
What you doing, anyway?
384
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,440
Oh, you know, I'm just, er...
385
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,360
I'm just chilling, just hanging out.
386
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,480
Oh, come out. Come out.
Me and Sugar are out. Come out!
387
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,640
No, I can't, love, I can't. I'm...
388
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,400
I'm up early, you see.
389
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,600
Sugar said you're staying at Kath's.
390
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,520
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
Just... Just for one night.
391
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,080
In't it dead creepy being there
by yourself?
392
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,720
Shit.
393
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,560
Er... Yeah. Yeah.
394
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,040
Yeah, it is a bit, actually.
395
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:28,120
I haven't seen you for ages.
I just said to Sugar that I miss the craziness.
396
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,400
Oh, well, there's none of that
round here. Fuck me, I am bored to tears, honestly.
397
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,000
Yeah? Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, I can't tempt you out?
398
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,840
I'd love to, but I'm up too early.
399
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,360
Boo!
Boring.
400
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,520
All right, then,
I'll let you go, yeah.
401
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,720
Later, alligator.
In a while, crocodile.
402
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,760
Fuck! Erm...
403
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,800
Shit!
404
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,920
Fuck off.
405
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,360
Oh, fuck me!
406
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,880
Fuck!
407
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,320
What the fuck? Throw a dick at me?
Get the fuck out of here, man!
408
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:39,240
Oh, leave me alone!
I ain't even done owt.
409
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:44,120
You were breaking and entering!
You know, there's laws against that kind of shit.
410
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,960
It... It were an accident.
411
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,000
An accident?
I fell through the delivery hatch.
412
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,760
Yeah, yeah, and I suppose
that balaclava fall on your head an' all, did it?
413
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,400
No.
414
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,240
I'm in the SAS.
The SAS? Yeah.
415
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,960
I'm on a top-secret mission,
aren't I?
416
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,960
Here, in Hawley?
417
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,000
I'm not allowed to say.
It's a secret!
418
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:09,280
Listen, Orville, I'm sure
Keith Harris is probably wondering where the fuck you are.
419
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:13,040
- I don't want you here.
- And I'm guessing you don't want to be here either.
420
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,280
So, behind you, there's a window.
421
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:19,280
Climb through the window. There's
a fire escape. Down the ladders.
422
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,240
Fuck off. Don't come back.
Let sleeping dogs lie. How's that?
423
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,480
I don't know.
It looks quite high, that.
424
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,200
Oh, God, no! It's dead high, that!
I can't do that.
425
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,720
Just fucking...
426
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,880
Of course it's high.
It's a fire escape!
427
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,080
I can't do heights, they panic me.
428
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:35,600
Did you mention that
in your SAS interview?
429
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,640
No.
No.
430
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,920
Fuck me... What are we gonna do then?
431
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,120
How about you just...
open the door and just let us out?
432
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,760
Fuck that. What if you've got a knife
and you try and stab me or summat?
433
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,240
I haven't got nothing, I swear!
Oh, please.
434
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,280
I just want to go home.
435
00:26:55,360 --> 00:27:00,360
All right, I'll tell you what.
I'll open this door. If you try any funny business,
436
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,920
I'll finger you to death.
Eh? No.
437
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,040
You what?
Not like... Help!
438
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,080
No, no, no! Help! Mister!
Fuck, I didn't mean it like that.
439
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:11,800
I'm locked in a bathroom and there's
a man threatening to finger me to death!
440
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,760
I'm not sure what that means.
That was a misguided attempt
441
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,040
to try and bring some levity
to the situation.
442
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,800
What's levity?
443
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,560
Is that like fingering?
No, it's not fingering.
444
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,600
It's not fingering. Just...
445
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,680
I'm sorry, man, I...
446
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,800
Oh...
447
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,640
What's going on in there?
Are you all right? Aaah!
448
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,800
Yeah. It's... It's jammed right in.
I can't get it out.
449
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,840
I think it's touching my brain.
450
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,400
All right, well, I'd better
take a look at it.
451
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,560
OK.
452
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,240
Oh, shit.
453
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,920
Brought that on yourself.
454
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,240
It really hurts.
Come on.
455
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,720
How does it look?
456
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,240
Does it look bad?
Yeah.
457
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:05,440
You're not supposed to say that!
When you ask doctors and that, they say, 'No.'
458
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:09,280
You've got a fucking corkscrew
in the side of your head. Of course it looks bad.
459
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,240
Well, let me just...
Let me try and pull it out.
460
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,160
Will it bleed? Cos I just can't do
blood and that.
461
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,200
It's almost as if...
462
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,560
you're not really in the SAS.
463
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,200
Hm.
464
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,520
It'll probably... It'll...
465
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,560
It probably won't bleed.
466
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,200
All right?
Good.
467
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,120
OK. I'm ready.
468
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,440
Oh, you're going the wrong way!
You're making it go deeper!
469
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,480
I apologise. It were like lightning.
But not nice lightning.
470
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:39,120
Like frightening lightning.
Just shut the fuck up wittering on.
471
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,840
Oh, that's the same way! The same
way! It's touching my brain again!
472
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,880
I don't know what I'm doing!
473
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,520
I'm dyslexic. Fucking clockwise,
lefts and rights, I'm bad at it.
474
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,560
Everything's fucking digital now.
475
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,600
When was the last time you even saw
a normal clock?
476
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,200
All right. I know what I'm doing.
Oh, OK.All right.
477
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,240
Owww! Aaarrrggghhh!
478
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,000
Ohh!
Aaa-aaa-aaah!
479
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,200
Oh, bloody hell!
480
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,840
Let's have a look.
That's a lot of blood, that.
481
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,560
Oh, what's that?
482
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,400
It's super glue.
Eh?
483
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,040
Oh...
484
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,480
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.
Three Mississippi.
485
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,520
There you go.
486
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,600
Shit!
What's up?
487
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,080
I fucking superglued my hand
to your head.
488
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,120
Oh, no!
Oh, no.
489
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,160
Fuck! All right. One, two, three!
490
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:34,800
Oww!
491
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,200
Fuck me. I thought I'd killed you.
492
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,520
I've got narcolepsy.
493
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,040
When I get tired,
I just fall asleep.
494
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,080
That's everyone.
495
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,440
I just wanted to pinch a few things.
496
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,480
Not... Not much.
497
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,320
Just enough...
498
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,360
to buy a bird bath.
499
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,200
A bird bath?
500
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,160
Yeah, not for me. For my mum.
501
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,920
She doesn't really
get out much any more.
502
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,320
She likes to sit in the garden
and watch the birds.
503
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,560
And there's this one bird that comes
to visit her, a robin,
504
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:16,840
that she thinks is
the reincarnation of my dad.
505
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,480
He were called Robin, you see.
506
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,000
She wants a bird bath for him,
507
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,040
on account of how he always...
508
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,840
liked...
509
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,680
to have a bath.
510
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:31,880
Can't you just go and nick
a bird bath, like any normal person?
511
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,920
I've seen a really nice one.
512
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,480
York sandstone.
Dead impressive it is.
513
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,520
In the grounds of this posh house.
514
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,240
Yeah, sounds really nice.
Go and nick that one.
515
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,200
The thing is, it...
it looks dead-heavy.
516
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,720
Like a... two-man job.
Take a mate with you.
517
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,520
Come on, you must have one friend.
518
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,880
Mum says folk are odd.
519
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,400
And it's their loss,
if they don't warm to us.
520
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:05,480
And... And you can't force people
to be your friends, can you?
521
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:10,360
I mean, sometimes, you're just
better off staying out of their way.
522
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,560
What's your name?
523
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:17,400
Gideon.
524
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,640
I'm Vinnie.
525
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,880
No-one's here on Thursdays, so we're
safe. Unless the D-Man followed us.
526
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,640
Oh, you said he had a gun!
527
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,680
What if he sees us and shoots us
with it, just for fun, like?
528
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,920
Gideon! Jesus Christ, listen to me.
529
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,560
D-Man's gone.
530
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,400
And he's not coming back.
531
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,440
All right? I promise you. Yeah?
532
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,480
Yeah.
All right.
533
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,040
Where is this bird bath, then?
Up there.
534
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,520
Why didn't you tell me
to nick a bigger car, man?
535
00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,360
You're having a laugh, dude.
That's not a fucking bird bath. That's a fountain!
536
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,200
A fountain? Yeah. So, is that
different to a bird bath?
537
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,840
Of course it's different to a bird
bath. A fountain is much bigger.
538
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,400
The fucking thing is massive.
How are we gonna fit it in the car?
539
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,520
Does that mean we can't get
the birdbath for Mum, then?
540
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:19,040
All right. Fuck it. We need to go
and get the car. Come on.
541
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,280
Electronic fence. I'm just gonna
force it. It should open.
542
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:23,920
OK.
Here we go.
543
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,120
You fucker.
They're not opening, Vinnie.
544
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,240
Well, fucking not yet, it's not.
Give us a sec.
545
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,160
Urghh.
546
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,880
They're still not opening. I know!
Fuck me, I'll climb over.
547
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,200
Oh.
Ooh!
548
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,520
For fuck's sake, dude!
549
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,920
Gideon! Yeah? It's not gonna
take much to make it give.
550
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,360
So, just... Oi! Nice and slow.
551
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,400
All right?
Got it, Vinnie.
552
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,600
Just a bit more than that.
Just a smidge.
553
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,040
OK.
554
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,840
Have you even let the clutch out,
Gideon?
555
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,800
Er... Which one is that?
556
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:10,280
The clu...
557
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,320
Do you even know how to drive?
558
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:13,840
No.
No?
559
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:15,960
Is it even in gear?
Er...
560
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,680
Ah, right. Is that it?
The stick here?
561
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,600
No, no, no, no, no!
562
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,800
Holy shit, man. Look at the state
of it, you lunatic.
563
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,440
Oh, no.
564
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,360
Oh, no! You've really done it now,
Gideon.
565
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:36,200
They'll put you in prison and then
who is gonna look after Mum?
566
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,640
Come on, let's run away!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
567
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:44,160
Just settle down. We're not going
nowhere without that birdbath slash fountain thing. All right?
568
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,400
Now, pull yourself together.
Are you feeling strong? Why?
569
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:50,440
Cos it's gonna weigh
a fucking ton, man! Oh.Yeah? OK.
570
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:56,640
Yeah?
571
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,760
OK. I'm going as fast as I can,
Vinnie.
572
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,880
Oh, bloody hell! Stop moaning and
get in the fucking car!
573
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,720
Get in the car!
574
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,920
Right, you little bastards!
I've got you on camera.
575
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:20,600
Can you fuck off, please?
It's hard enough to see without - You are going viral!
576
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,240
There you are, stream that!
577
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,360
I can't believe you did that,
Vinnie.
578
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,920
Feels good to be alive,
doesn't it, pal, hey?
579
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,000
Huzzah!
580
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,040
Huzzah, dude!
581
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,080
Huzzah!
Huzzah!
582
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:48,040
Right, listen, I'm gonna get off.
Oh, no, don't run off just yet.
583
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:51,040
It's late, man. I need my bed.
Come and say hello to Mum.
584
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,920
She's gonna be asleep.
She don't really sleep well.
585
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:57,960
She don't get many visitors.
She'd be made up. Just pop up and say hello, like, please.
586
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,120
Please? Yeah, all right, all right.
Five minutes. Yeah?
587
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,360
It's cold, innit?
It's got to be.
588
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,400
Mum can't sleep if it's too hot.
589
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,480
She's just up there.
590
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,320
Who is all this lot?
591
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,560
Dead people.
Hey? They're all dead.
592
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,560
Well, they can't all be dead!
593
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,680
Er... Yeah, they are.
He's not dead.
594
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:26,320
Yeah, he is.
595
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,200
What about this lot here?
596
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:31,840
Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, they all died
in a boating accident.
597
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:36,040
They won the boat on Bullseye.
Got dropped in an artificial lake. No water.
598
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:39,520
So, they were all killed. Dude, is
this a wall of dead people?
599
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,160
Is that what this is?
Yeah.
600
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,720
Everybody is dead?
Yeah, up to the top, yeah.
601
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,560
But he's not. He's not dead.
602
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:50,920
Oh, he is. He had an electric trike
from Taiwan. It were too powerful. Took him right into t'wall.
603
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,280
Yeah, it were very sad.
A horrible story.
604
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,720
What's all this shit?
The rapey doll here?
605
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,640
Who is this furry little...
606
00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:59,480
Fuck! Fuck me, dude.
607
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,120
Aw!
608
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,160
It's just Mr Mittens.
609
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,320
All right. What are you doing
up here, Mr Mittens? Meow!
610
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:07,880
Hello, Vinnie!
611
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,120
A bit Buffalo Bill in here,
in't it, pal?
612
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,880
Oh, yeah. I get it. Woo-woo-woo!
613
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:15,600
Nothing to do with Indians. You don't
know what I'm talking about.
614
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,920
A cowboy, weren't he? You've never
seen the film, have you?
615
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,680
Where are we going? In to see Mum.
Listen, it's...
616
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,840
I'm just feeling a bit anx-anxious.
Oh, please, Vinnie.
617
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,400
It's really late, though. I know.
Just two... Just two minutes.
618
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,440
She'll be so made up. Please?
619
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,880
Yeah. Yeah. Is that all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
620
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,960
Mum? Mum!
621
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,040
Got a surprise for you.
622
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,080
Brought you a visitor.
623
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,160
Why did you have to say it like that?
624
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,400
Like what? You just said,
'Brought you...'Well, I have.
625
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,520
Like you're gonna feed her or summat.
626
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,560
What's in here, dude?
627
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,640
Hiya, Mum.
628
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,680
How are you doing?
629
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,680
Did you manage to get any sleep?
630
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,360
Who's this?
631
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,000
Oh.
632
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,040
This is Vinnie, Mum.
633
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,080
He's a friend of mine.
634
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,600
He wanted to come
and say hello to you.
635
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,840
That's nice.
636
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,680
And have you asked Vinnie
what we ask visitors?
637
00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,560
Oh, yeah.
638
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,600
Would you like some tea, love?
639
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,440
No.
640
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,480
I'm all right, thanks, Giddy.
641
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,080
Go and make us a pot, Giddy, love.
642
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:39,720
OK.
643
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,040
He doesn't really have friends,
you know.
644
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,280
He's a bit too...
645
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,760
unique for most folk.
646
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,160
Thems with small minds.
647
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,480
He's vulnerable.
648
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,680
Easy picking for the wrong sort
to take advantage of.
649
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,000
I wouldn't do that.
650
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,760
You know why you're here, Vinnie?
651
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,880
He's trying to show me
I don't have to worry about him.
652
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,760
Mm.
653
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,800
But I do.
654
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,960
I'm a mum. That's what we do.
655
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,960
Boys need their mums.
656
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Isn't that right?
Mm.
657
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,600
Can you be a good friend, Vinnie?
658
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,840
He's going to need a friend.
659
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,040
I'll be his friend.
660
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,080
You're tired.
661
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,520
Aren't you?
Yeah.
662
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,680
Yeah, I am a bit.
Yeah, I've been up all night.
663
00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:09,720
No.
664
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,880
It's not just tonight, though,
is it, lovey?
665
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,160
You're worn out.
666
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:24,720
You've been brave long enough,
you don't need to keep it up.
667
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:30,760
Sssh.
668
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,120
I'm sorry.
Come here. Come here.
669
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,200
You're just tired.
670
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,280
There's a lad.
671
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,600
You'll be all right.
672
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:55,000
# Life is but a dream
673
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,840
# It's what you make it
674
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,880
# Always try to give... #
675
00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:14,320
Fuck me!
676
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,360
Fucking hell. Hey, up.
677
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:20,240
Morning, dude.
Just got up, have you? Yeah, yeah.
678
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,560
Morning. Afternoon, mate.
You've been out for the count.
679
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,920
How's it going, then?
I have no idea.
680
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,160
I've just had the maddest night.
681
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,600
This old woman touched me.
Me, too.
682
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:35,120
I got groped by an old one, too.
Jesus fucking Christ. It's the last time I'm saying it.
683
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:39,600
Right? It is business. There's
people who would pay good money for that shit.
684
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,640
You all right, you?
685
00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:45,640
I didn't know it was
physically possible
686
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,600
for a human being
to poo that much.
687
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,080
You sleep all right, Vin?
688
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:53,720
Oh, Christ, yeah.
689
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,840
I did, all right. I've been having
these mental dreams.
690
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,960
Oh, I had a mad dream
the other night.
691
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,680
I wanted to go to America, yeah,
but I mean they wouldn't let me in.
692
00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:05,840
So, I got into a cardboard box
and then I posted myself.
693
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:09,560
But then I realised I forgot to wee
before I got in. Could be worse.
694
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,720
You could have been trapped in there
with Cardi's missus!
695
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:16,480
That's too far. You're bang out of
order. Fucking hell.
696
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,720
Imagine that, eh, trapped in a box,
in the pitch black,
697
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,200
with Carol and her explosive anus!
698
00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:24,600
I'm fucking warning you.
699
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:28,360
Cardi, Cardi, it's
like a chocolate fountain in here!
700
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,840
It's like Cadbury's World!
701
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,560
No, no, it's not funny.
Come on, Tommo, go on, apologise.
702
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:38,080
You're upsetting him. You're right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
703
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,240
I'm sorry that you made
your bird shit herself.
704
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,360
I fucking warned you, didn't I!
705
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,840
We've got a shitload of weed
to get rid of here.
706
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,400
I invested. Now I need a return.
707
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,000
A festival?
A festival.
708
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,080
Would anybody like a disco biscuit?'
709
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,160
Fuck off!
710
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,240
Is it a yes or a no?
Right, get going.
711
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,640
But, whatever you do,
don't hang about.Shit.
712
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,360
Your pig is a cunt!
Your pig is a cunt!
713
00:43:18,410 --> 00:43:22,960
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