All language subtitles for Some.Girls.S01E06_English

♪ People keep sayin' I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ But I say it feels all right ♪

♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪

♪ There's a million things
that I can't change ♪

♪ But maybe it's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause this is my life ♪

- What's that?
- It's fruit.

Remember fruit?

- I have fruit.

- No, I know cider's made out of apples,

but it doesn't count as
one of your five a day.

- Are you givin' her the last apple?

I was saving that apple.
- And?

- You can buy it off me
if you want, only 50p.

- See you later.
- See ya.

- [Viva] In my family, I'm the firstborn.

Now, psychology tells
us that the firstborn

always has the edge over the younger ones.

Holli is the firstborn in her family, too.

This means that, like me, she
has power over her siblings.

- I will fart on your head

till you tell me where you hid it.

- [Viva] Amber is the baby of her family.

Being the baby, she expects other people

to look after her and do stuff for her.

- I've been wankin' him
off for half an hour

but he's had too much to drink.

Can one of you take over?

- I think the bus is comin'.

- Good, it's freezin' waitin' here.

- You're on your bike today, remember?

- Oh yeah, I forgot.

It's like I'm thick or something.

- [Viva] And Saz is
somewhere in the middle

of a great big family,

which means she struggles for attention

and has trouble liking herself.

(little girl coughs)
- Oh shut up, you bitch.

Why am I the only virgin
in the whole year?

- Pretty sure Shanabelle's a virgin.

- Yeah, who'd want to bang Shanabelle?

- The problem is, everyone
think I'm a maths swot.

Not many boys think maths is sexy.

- No boys, Saz?

No boys?

- Are you saying you
wanna get de-virginized?

- No, I'm saving myself for
my cousin from Amritsar.

Yeah.

I wanna get de-virginized, I get urges.

Horny urges.

Just wanna tear some guy's clothes off

and proper hump his brains out.

- You should have said
before, I can hook you up.

Wanna check some possible victims?

- Ooh, yes please, Holli.

Really want some boy's been picked by you.

Smashed half the school with his willy,

probably looks like a pickled gherkin

'cause it's so diseased.

- Just trying to help.

- Okay, we're playing St. Mildred's

and we need to smash this sucker,

'cause if we don't, we're out of the cup.

I don't want no fighting this time,

especially not with each other.

Holli and Shanabelle, I'm talking to you.

- I'm sorry, but she's
packin' a penis somewhere.

- Right, so I need every
single one of you in the zone.

And that means total mental focus.

Amber, what does it mean?
- What, miss?

- I said...

Fuck.

This isn't the same ball.

Where's the ball from last time?

The ball we beat Biffin College
with and Hensher Academy?

Our lucky ball, the one that makes us win.

- We played really well in those matches.

- Oh, right, yeah, no, we played amazing.

You were really incredible.

It's just I'd be a lot happier
if we had our lucky ball.

Hey, just as backup.

(pumping techno music)

(balls thudding)
Or we can find it.

I know we can.

(girls exclaiming)

That's it, end of the season,

I did everything I could,
everything, everything.

But without that ball,
didn't have a chance.

- I know we lost,

but she's acting even
more mental than usual.

- Yeah, now she's pregnant,
she's gone all superstitious.

She got loads of weird rules
about what's lucky and unlucky.

Openin' a window after 4 p.m.
is unlucky, totally random.

Someone had done a shit
in the lifts this morning

and she said that was lucky.

- Oh my God, that makes me feel sick.

- I bet it's that old Micky bloke.

He shits in all the lifts.

Say what you like about
my dad, but at least

he used to stop Micky from
shittin' in the lifts.

- Bitchcock and my dad are
goin' away this Saturday.

I can't wait.
- Ooh, look at that.

What a lovely view of the new fencin'.

- Yes, Holli, that fencin'
is lookin' well fit.

- Some of the fittest, finest
fencing in the whole school.

- What you on about, it's a fence.

- So, Saz, see any boy there
who you might want to, um,

you know.

- I want someone clean.

You know, like, really hygienic.

Washes every day, keeps
himself fresh all over,

especially his man bits,

and has hair that smells
proper fresh and pine-scented,

and never squeezes his spots.

- There's no boy like that, anywhere.

- And it'd be nice if he can
drive, though not essential.

- But can drive a lady; essential.

- Well what about him, he's fit.

- Saz would be too scared
to go near a really fit boy.

- Right, 'cause I'm hopin'
to lose my virginity

to a disgustingly ugly boy.

- Go on, then, go talk to Jordan.

- Okay, I will.

Oi, Jordan.

- Yeah?

- Lovin' them shorts,
where did you get 'em?

- My mum got them for me.

- They way they just fit nice on your bum

with your legs comin'
out the bottom, epic.

- [Guy] What's happening?

- Nerd girl's being weird.
- Oh, my God.

Biggest fail ever.

- Oh, what's wrong with me?

- You need to engage with
him about stuff he likes.

He does geography, don't he?

You could ask him if he knows

what the world's highest
mountain is; maybe not.

- No, all you've got to
do is smile and laugh

whenever they say something funny.

- But he didn't say anything funny.

- They never do, all the boys
in this school are retarded.

- And the most important
thing to do with boys

is to keep your rack
thrustin' out at all times,

like you're on the cover of Nuts magazine.

(whistle blows)

- Shouldn't you be at home
sharpenin' your pencils?

- I write with them blunt,
that's how badass I am.

- You wanna see my new badge?

- That a sneaky way to
get me back to your place?

- No, I got it here.

I got it for all my work
helpin' coach the Year Sevens.

Mr. Philips called me a great
example, and all that shit.

- I'm sorry about what
you heard Amber say.

She got it mixed up,
she's not the brightest.

- [Girl] Viva.

- Gotta go.

- Boys will bang anything with a pulse,

and that's the fussy ones;
finding a boy ain't hard.

Findin' somewhere to do it with
a boy, that's the hard bit.

(pop music)

(clattering)

- Well, if you find someone quick enough,

you can use my place this weekend.

Get rid of Jamie somehow.

- Yeah, location is very important.

- Very important; location,
location, location.

- That's where you live,
Amber, not where you bang.

- There is someone I've liked for a bit.

- Well, come on, then, tell us.

- It's that boy from the bus
stop who's always readin'.

I think his name's Joe.

- The boy with the bad glasses?

(scoffing)

- When I've been with him for a while,

I'll force him to get himself
some designer glasses.

Or maybe I'll get him contacts.

- Trust you to like book boy.

- Actually, you know what?

I'm thinkin' laser eye
surgery's the way to go.

- That's what I love about Saz.

She doesn't just fancy the
same boys everyone fancies.

She likes the boy who's right for her.

Those are bad glasses, though.

♪ Ow, ow, I'm the guy ♪

♪ Who never did and even more, my friend ♪

♪ Until I ♪

♪ Amber you** ♪

♪ That was good, every
detail, every step we took ♪

- And get some of those
chicken satay things

to eat in the car, I love those.

- Chicken satay for you,
multi-pack vitamin energy drinks

for me, multi-pack,

fruit and nut chocolate
for me, multi-pack.

- Mm.

Why do we have to have
multi-packs of everything again?

- Multi-packs are lucky,
you know that, Rob.

Did you put garlic in that?
- Yeah, course I did.

- Oh, I can't stand the smell.

You know my sense of smell's
extra-heightened at the moment.

- I'll open the window.
- Oh, no no, it's after 4 p.m.

- Oh, yeah, sorry.
- Oh, it does smell horrible.

The air is full of it.
- What?

- Garlic.

- Whose ear's full of garlic?

- The ear, the ear.

- The ear.

- The ear?
- The ear.

- She's saying air.

- That's what I said, ear.

I'm gonna lie down, and please,

don't wear anything stripy
before the baby's born.

- You two are gonna have such
a fun time this Saturday.

- Oi, babe.

I'll bring some of that
massage oil you like.

Multi-pack.

(pop music)

(girls laughing)

- Oh, I'm not goin' bus stop
today, I'll see you later.

- Why, where you goin'?
- I'm meetin' Brandon.

He wants to give me my pen.

- He wants to give you your pen?

- After everything that's happened,

you're gonna let him give you your pen?

- Come on, he just wants to bang you.

- What, do you think
I'm stupid or something?

Anyway, see you later.

- Oh, he's there.

- So what are you gonna do,
are you gonna ask him out?

- I can't, not after what
happened with Jordan.

- All right, well, why don't
we do a little experiment?

- Yeah?
- Yeah, go up to him

and pretend you're interested
in his book or somethin',

offer him one of your chips.

If he says no, it's a bad sign.

If he says yes, it means he likes you.

- He might not be hungry.

- But if he likes you,
he'll take it anyway.

- Why?
- Just do it, Saz.

We understand how boys'
brains work, don't we, Holli?

- Yeah, got an A-star in boys' brains.

- Well, take a chip.

Eat it!

Ha.

(exclaiming)

See that?
- So he took a chip.

- Best start stockin' up on condoms.

- Oh, he's a bit mysterious, though.

I wish I knew more about him.

- That won't be a problem,
Amani knows his little sister.

- All right, so you get Amani
to do some research on him,

and I'll ask Rocky, 'cause, I
think they get the same bus.

- There will be clean sheets, won't there?

I might bring my own.

- Might want to put a towel down.

- Is there a lot of blood?

- Ooh, could be a drop,
could be a bucketful.

Everyone's different.

We should make a list of
the stuff: sheets, towels,

buckets, tweezers, hosepipe--

- All right, Dr. Christian,
she's not givin' birth.

It's gonna be fine.

(pop music)

(boys talking faintly)

- Got you a cup of tea
on my way past Tony's.

- Oh, cheers.

You haven't got a pound
for some cider, have you?

Baldie's drivin' me mental.

- He's not doin' anything.
- Exactly.

He can't talk, he can't eat
proper, he can't rollerblade.

He's fuckin' borin', really.

(groaning)

- What is that?

- Amber's in there with Brandon.

- Amber.

- Oh, hiya.

- Oh, You all right, girls?

- Wanna buy a cup of tea for a quid?

- Uh, no, no, I've gotta go,
um, Bible study with my uncle.

- Amber.

- Have you got any baby wipes, Mel?

- Yeah, but you can only have one.

They cost, like, a
million pounds per pack.

Oh, I think I've used my last one.

- What's that in your hand?

- Nothing.

- Oh, that's spunk, isn't it?

- No.

- Oh!
- Oh, Amber.

- It won't come off!

- You got it on my baby.

That's a fucking health hazard, that is.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I think it must have
been ages since he came

'cause there was so much, it
was like I was holdin' a pond.

- Did he give you your pen?

(comical music)

- Oh, it's still gettin' me!

- [Viva] Oh, Amber!

(pop music)

Yes, mate, 9 p.m. this
Saturday, 17 Briscott Court.

Bring some alcohol. (laughing)

- Oh, my God. Jamie, I cannot believe

you're planning a big party this Saturday

and you're gonna trash this
place with your idiot friends.

- What you doin'?

- Who's trashing the place?

- I heard Jamie ring his
mates, sayin', bring alcohol.

Maybe we should send him to
Auntie Lorna's this weekend.

- Great idea, Viva, Lorna'll
make sure he behaves himself.

- No, come on, man, that's not happenin'.

Auntie Lorna keeps iguanas in the bath.

This ain't over, I'ma take this to Dad.

- Oh, Dad does what she tells him.

If he doesn't, she's not gonna do

her weird New Zealand sex voodoo stuff.

The first-born usually gets
their own way in these things.

(pop music)

- I can see why you like Joe.

You're a boffin, yeah,
he's a boffin, yeah?

You've got stuff in common.

- I'm not interested in him,
I'm just askin' for a friend.

- You hear that?

She's askin' for a
friend, not very original.

That's it, blud.

Yellow bibs in that bag,
blue bibs in the other bag.

That's it, sweet.

- Really, it's for Saz.

- Saz?

You're jokin', don't give me that.

She's a maths swot, she
doesn't care about boys.

- She just wants to know if he's a psycho.

- You and him's perfect for each other.

You can have a little bit of fun,

then you can run home and do coursework,

and then you can text each other, like,

oh, Joe, what do you think
of this history, and shit.

And he can text right back, like,

oh, Badges, you're so clever, and shit.

- I just came here to ask
for your advice as a friend.

Don't know why you're being so weird.

- Blud, this is girls for you.

Badges here, she looks so fine,

but she comes here to
stick a knife in my heart.

You little guys, you got your
whole lives ahead of you.

My advice, concentrate on your football

and forget about girls and sex.

Dominic, I know that advice
comes too late for you.

- Oh, my God, you're mental.

(fast pop music)

- What did Rocky say about Joe?

What's the matter?

- The matter is I just,

ooh, I just can't stop
thinkin' about that dickhead.

(boys laugh)

- You're not makin' yourself
look very cool here, Viva.

♪ It's not fair and I
think you're really mean ♪

♪ I think you're really mean ♪

- [Rocky] Dominic, I've
warned you about that.

♪ Oh, you're supposed to care ♪

♪ But you never make me scream ♪

♪ You never make me scream ♪

- [Viva] So, basically,
Rocky told me nothin'.

- Saz, you've got to get
hold of book boy and tell him

he's breakin' you in this Saturday night.

- He won't even want to.
- Course he will.

I told you, all boys wanna bang all girls.

Unless he's gay; even if he is gay,

he'll probably want to
do it, for practice.

- Did Amani find out anything?

- Has he slept with
loads of girls already?

Is he good in bed?

How big is his--
- Amani's seven.

- Well, did he find out anything at all?

- Apparently he likes girls who are funny.

- Oh, no, I'm not funny.

- Yeah, you are funny.

In a cruel, judgmental,
sarcastic kind of way.

But maybe that's what he likes.

- I don't think she's funny.

- You could learn some jokes.

- Oh, I've got one; knock, knock.

- Who's there?
- Banana.

- Banana who?
- Oh, no, it's a parrot.

Or is it?
- I've got one; knock, knock.

- Who's there?
- Justin.

- Justin who?

- Justin time to get
down and party with me

'cause I'm a virgin and I
want you to kick in my hymen.

- Oh, I get it!

- You must know a knock-knock joke.

- Knock, knock.
- What?

- Who's there?
- What?

- Oh, no, wait, I got it wrong; hang on.

What's this? (panting)

- What?

- A pair of pants. (chuckling)

(panting)

A pair of pants?

(panting)

Or pants, the things you
wear, but, never mind.

Didn't realize you were thick.

- You seem angry; no, no, I, I, I get it.

I'm not an idiot.

I just didn't realize
you were doin' a joke.

- I'm a bit--
- So?

- Confused.

What do you want?

- Well...

Just love joking about
and, making people laugh.

It's who I am. (laughing frantically)

- Do you have a syndrome?
- Good one!

No, just all about comedy and
havin' a good laugh. (laughs)

- So, so, so, so it's not a syndrome?

- No, it's not a fucking syndrome!

Look, someone told me
you like funny girls.

Oh, fuck off, then, you
big book-readin' idiot.

You're the one with the syndrome,

the I'm in love with my
stupid book syndrome.

All you ever do is read.

I thought you might want
to do something crazy,

like hang out with a person
instead of a big wodge of paper.

What?

(light music)

He actually seemed to like me how I am.

- Where is he, then?

- He said, did I want to
meet him here after school,

but, why did he say that
if he's not gonna turn up?

- To make you look stupid.

- He might just be late.

- Probably doesn't want
get to know any girls,

because they'll find out
that he hasn't got a penis,

or he's got a weird one
in the shape of a horse.

- And I bet he really wants to
put his horse in your stable,

but he's just been
delayed for a good reason.

- Or he doesn't like her and
said he'll meet up with her

just to get rid of her.

- Hey, Rocky.

- Can I talk to you alone?

- Did you follow me here?

- No, no, no, course not; well, yeah.

- What do you want?

- I was out of line the
other day, I know that.

That's all I wanted to say.

- Oh.

- I'll see you around, yeah?

- Rocky.

- Now, he's a boy who'd know what to do.

I wouldn't have to show
him how to do anything.

He would just know.

- Shut up.

- You don't own him, yeah?

He wanted to mash you and you said no.

- Yeah, but I still like him.

- (sobs) Нe's not comin',
what's wrong with me? (sobs)

- Nothing's wrong with you.

- He's a fool.

- Yeah, he's, he's not livin'
in the real world, you know.

He's just livin' in chapter
seven of Hobbit-land,

or whatever it is he's
always got his nose in.

- Boys hate me. (sobs)

- Can we have a tissue, please?

- Sorry, I, I got delayed

and I didn't have your number, so--

- Fuck's sake, that's a
bad way to treat a girl.

You should have come whatever.

Look what you've done to her, horse penis.

You ain't even gone out with her yet

and you're already treatin'
her like a hairy turd.

You don't even realize she
picked you out of everyone

in the whole school 'cause she wanted you

to bust her cherry for her.

- Holli, shut up!

- Yeah, that's right, she's a virgin

and she wanted you to be the one.

She got a time, she got a
place, she got a cherry.

(thudding)

- Like I said, I, I
didn't have your number.

I was going to ask someone, but,

I actually didn't know your name.

- I'm Saz.

- Do you want a Coke or a
cup or tea or something?

(light music)

(school bell rings)

- It might be enormous, might hurt.

How big are they?

- How long's a piece of string?

- Well, Brandon's is
about, like, that big.

- But it's the thickness that's crucial.

- Well, how thick is Brandon's?

- Oh, it's about, like, that.

- Are you really gonna do it?

- I'm sick of being the only virgin.

Makes me feel like a freak.

- But you know I've only
done it once, don't you?

Me and that guy on holiday.

- Mario.
- Yeah, Mario.

- Does he still send you those emails?

- Not for a while now.
- Aw.

- So I'm practically still a virgin.

- But you're not a virgin,
you haven't got a hymen.

I've been psyching myself
up for this all week.

I'm going through with it, no matter what.

I don't care if his willy's
like an albino slug or,

or like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

I don't care if he's gay,
he's stinky, acne-fied,

or if he's got seven bollocks.

I'm just gonna bang him
and get it over with.

- Saz, I don't think you should do it

just 'cause of not being the only virgin.

- It's all right for
you, you're not a virgin.

People don't laugh at you
and call you Chastity Belt.

(laughing)

- I lied.

Oh, this is well shamin';
Mario doesn't exist.

- What?

But it was so romantic on the
beach with the waves lappin'

and the shootin' stars
and the sound of the band

in the distance.

(gasps) And his brown abs
ripplin' in the moonlight.

- God, you remember what
I said better than I do.

- Yeah.

'Cause I'd like to do
it like that one day.

Instead of in a trolley park at Lidl's.

- So those emails Mario sent you...

- I made it all up 'cause I wanted

to sound excitin' for
once; there is no Mario.

- No Mario?
- Oh, my God.

Didn't know you was a liar.

- Poor Mario.

- I'm sorry.

- Why are you suddenly
telling us all this?

- If you decide not to go
through with it on Saturday,

you won't be the only virgin.

I just don't think you should do it

just because of me lyin'.

- Well, I've made my
mind up, I'm doin' it.

- Course, technically, I'm still a virgin.

- [Saz and Amber] You're what?

- No, you're not.
- You've done Bay--

- Rainbow, Gavin, Toby, Tom.

- I have a lot of sex.

I do a lot of stuff to them,
they do a lot of stuff to me,

but I'd never, ever do anything
that could get me pregnant.

I don't wanna end up like my mum.

- So, here we are,

the three virgins.

(light music)

- Four virgins.
- Three.

- Oh.
(laughing)

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ All is said and all is done ♪

♪ You shall be the only one ♪

♪ Can I lay my head
down, will you save me ♪

♪ Every little thing's gonna be okay ♪

- I want it to be just right for Saz,

so I've made a playlist
of her favorite songs.

And I got her condoms
in 20 different flavors.

♪ It stays, and it had all begin** ♪

♪ I starts, and it ♪
(knocking at door)

♪ It starts ♪

- What is this terrible music?

This is the sort of
music a girl would think

is nice to have sex to.

Oh, my God.
- As you can see,

I'm on my own.

- Well, maybe you're
havin' sex with yourself.

Ugh, why did I just say that?

- Aren't you supposed
to be at Auntie Lorna's?

- Unfortunately, some of them iguanas

that Auntie Lorna keeps in the bath

somehow accidentally escaped.

- Okay, so I'm gonna ring Dad's mobile,

and you'd better be on your
way back to Auntie Lorna's

by the time he answers, or--

- Except, I heard from Brandon

that you've got a little house
party goin' on here yourself.

- Okay, so we'll make a deal.

You stay in your room,
you do not come out,

we stay away from you,
you stay away from us,

and no more friends.

- Agreed.

(snaps fingers)

♪ Woo ooh ooh ♪

♪ It starts and it hardly had begun ♪

♪ It starts and it changes everything ♪

♪ It starts and it never fades away ♪

♪ Can I lay my head down, will you say ♪

♪ Everything little
thing's gonna be okay ♪

- We'll take the stairs.

- Yeah, yeah, stairs, definitely.

♪ Every little thing's gonna be okay ♪

- Hi, guys.

- Uh, There's a slight situation here,

but there's nothing to worry about.

Do you think they've started yet?

- How do I know?

- My first time, Brandon
and I shared an enormous bar

of Galaxy Fruit & Nut.

It was epic; sex was
a bit rubbish, though.

(both sniffing)

- Holli, thank God you're here.

I need you to act as a bouncer

in case any more of Jamie's mates show up.

- Okay, am I allowed to hit 'em?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

♪ Life goes on and so will we ♪

♪ What breaks the world ♪
- What's your favorite book?

- I don't really like
readin', more into numbers.

Especially the Fibonacci
sequence, really turns me on.

Whole pi thing's pretty sexy too.

♪ I dream about it ♪
- Oh, God!

Your glasses hit me in the eye.

♪ Ah ah ♪
(moaning)

- [Saz] Have you ever
thought about contacts?

♪ Oh ♪
♪ It's okay, I'm good ♪

♪ Go ♪

(techno music)
(dogs barking)

♪ I'm back, I'm back, so you see ♪

- You're not comin' in,
you're not on the guest list,

and nor are you, plus, you
look like an afterbirth.

- That's right, you tell 'em.

- You two, in.

Couple of fit ones won't hurt.

- I've got to get them out of here.

Otherwise it's gonna get out of control.

- Yeah, we need help.

- Shall I ring Rocky?

- Or I could ring Brandon.

- There's other people we could ring.

- Rocky.
- Brandon.

- Rocky.
- Brandon.

- Rocky!
- Brandon!

- Rocky!
- Brandon!

- Rocky.
- Brandon.

- Rocky!
- Brandon!

- Rocky.
- Brandon.

- Rocky!
- Brandon!

- Rocky.
- Great party, man.

- Safe.
- Blud, respect.

- Nice one.
- Cheers.

- Dominic.

Respect, blud.

That's it, then, Badges;
do you want me to go now?

- No, I want you to stay.

(techno music)

- It's just, I couldn't sleep in room 72,

that is really bad number.

- Bit loud in there.

(Saz squealing happily)

- Yeah!

(Saz moaning)

(someone moaning)

(bedsprings squeaking)

- Jesus Christ, what's goin' on?

- Oh, hello, Miss Bitchcock,
did you have a nice trip?

(pop music)

(door bangs)

(Viva screams)

- Uh, Viva's dad, pleased
to meet you, I'm Rocky.

Oh, Miss Hitchcock.

I don't think I ever
congratulated you on the baby.

- [Viva] For some girls,
this would be just about

the most embarrassing thing
that could ever happen.

(clattering)

The thing is, for us,

well, somehow I think
there'll be more to come.

♪ We always said that we
would screw up, screw up ♪

♪ But sometimes that's ♪
(Viva whimpers)

♪ People keep sayin' I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ But I say it feels all right ♪

♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪

♪ There's a million things
that I could change ♪

♪ But maybe it's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause this is my life, this
is my life, this is my life ♪

♪ People keep sayin' I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ People keep sayin' I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ People keep sayin' I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ It's gonna be fine ♪

♪ People keep sayin' I'm doin' it wrong ♪