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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,950 ♪ People keep saying that I'm doing it wrong ♪ 2 00:00:02,951 --> 00:00:05,631 ♪ Then I say it feels all right ♪ 3 00:00:05,628 --> 00:00:09,738 ♪ I really do try, really do try, really do try ♪ 4 00:00:09,738 --> 00:00:12,958 ♪ There's a million things that I could change ♪ 5 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,700 ♪ Then maybe it's all right ♪ 6 00:00:15,701 --> 00:00:20,701 ♪ This is my life, this is my life, this is my life ♪ 7 00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,400 - No, when you break an arm, there's a noise, 8 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,180 like a snap or a crunch. 9 00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:28,550 I didn't hear no snap or crunch. 10 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,820 - All I could hear was her screaming. 11 00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:31,650 - Acting. 12 00:00:31,653 --> 00:00:33,373 I'm telling you, her arm wasn't broken. 13 00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:35,250 - That paramedic said it was. 14 00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,420 - I could hear her screaming 15 00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:39,230 over the noise of the ambulance siren. 16 00:00:39,229 --> 00:00:41,359 I think I can still hear her screaming now. 17 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,190 - Accept it. 18 00:00:42,193 --> 00:00:43,033 You broke her arm. 19 00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:44,576 - I'll accept it when I see the X-ray. 20 00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:46,640 Anyway, what's everyone fucking complaining about? 21 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:47,590 We won, didn't we? 22 00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:53,180 - Oi, chuck us the ball back if you can get it that far. 23 00:00:53,180 --> 00:00:54,730 - Hush your gums, fat boy. 24 00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:56,470 We just won our match six, nil. 25 00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:57,560 - Oh, sweet! 26 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,260 They won their little girly match. 27 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,410 I can see it now. 28 00:01:00,407 --> 00:01:01,417 "Oh, oh, help. 29 00:01:01,417 --> 00:01:02,737 "There's a ball coming towards me. 30 00:01:02,737 --> 00:01:04,787 "I better duck in case it messes up my hair." 31 00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:05,950 - Shut up, Jordan. 32 00:01:05,950 --> 00:01:07,640 Holli, just give them their ball back and let's go. 33 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,740 - Not till that dick apologizes for disrespecting our team! 34 00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:11,700 - Your team? 35 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:13,640 You mean your club for annoying lesbians 36 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,280 who can't get boyfriends? 37 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,190 - If we was lesbians, why would we want to get boyfriends? 38 00:01:18,190 --> 00:01:19,020 - Let's go. 39 00:01:19,023 --> 00:01:20,843 - Under FA regs, we wouldn't even be allowed to play 40 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,220 'cause we're so much stronger than you, 41 00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:24,020 we might accidentally kill you. 42 00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:25,351 (laughing) 43 00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,516 - I'd give them a match. 44 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,910 Check out their skills. 45 00:01:27,910 --> 00:01:29,150 They look pretty fit to me. 46 00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:32,010 - Fine, let's set up a match, our team against your team. 47 00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:33,460 - No, Holli, that's a bad idea. 48 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,130 - Thursday, afterschool? 49 00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:35,990 - Yeah! 50 00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:37,360 Yeah, if you like, whenever! 51 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,210 - [Viva] Come on. 52 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:40,480 - Hey, Badges. 53 00:01:40,478 --> 00:01:41,308 - He means you. 54 00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:43,061 - You can make it the middle of the night if you want 55 00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:44,670 'cause we can beat you in our sleep, 56 00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:46,460 and I ain't even joking. 57 00:01:46,464 --> 00:01:49,034 - You want to get yourself a bit of personal coaching, 58 00:01:49,030 --> 00:01:51,080 find out more about the offside rule? 59 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:51,910 - No, thanks. 60 00:01:51,913 --> 00:01:54,073 Won't be needing any personal drilling sessions from you. 61 00:01:54,068 --> 00:01:55,478 - We're talking football, yeah? 62 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:56,660 - Yeah. 63 00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:59,920 - Right, 'cause I thought you was trying to hit on me there. 64 00:02:01,966 --> 00:02:02,916 - In your dreams! 65 00:02:04,133 --> 00:02:06,723 (upbeat music) 66 00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:09,450 Let's be totally clear. 67 00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:11,190 Someone like him and someone like me 68 00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:15,230 is never gonna happen, which is kind of a shame. 69 00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:17,884 - We could even beat you if we was dead! 70 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:18,980 So, I told the rest of the girls, 71 00:02:18,980 --> 00:02:20,600 but I don't know what's the matter with them. 72 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,900 It's like they think we can't win. 73 00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:23,570 - We can't win. - Only in our heads. 74 00:02:23,574 --> 00:02:26,624 - No, in our bodies, all over, everywhere, we can't win. 75 00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:27,530 They're better. 76 00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:28,740 - It's 'cause of people like you 77 00:02:28,738 --> 00:02:30,128 there's never been a woman Prime Minister! 78 00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:31,690 - Actually, Holli-- - Or a woman astronaut! 79 00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:32,520 - Uh-- - Negativity's what's 80 00:02:32,523 --> 00:02:33,693 gonna beat us. 81 00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:34,580 Where's my chips? 82 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:36,970 Where's your chips? 83 00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:37,980 - Oh, I didn't want none. 84 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,710 I ate loads at pizza club. 85 00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:41,640 - Pizza club, that's a new one. 86 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:42,481 - I know! 87 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:43,940 I just discovered it by accident. 88 00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:44,970 It's on at lunchtimes. 89 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:46,320 It is amazing in there. 90 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,250 It's like heaven. 91 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,360 - Is it free? 92 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,550 - Yeah, I was walking past room D 93 00:02:49,553 --> 00:02:52,153 and this nice girl come out in the corridor and said, 94 00:02:52,147 --> 00:02:52,977 "Do you like pizza?" 95 00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:55,270 And I was like, duh, obviously. 96 00:02:55,270 --> 00:02:56,370 And she said, "Come on in, then." 97 00:02:56,373 --> 00:02:58,493 - Were you asleep when this happened, Amber? 98 00:02:58,490 --> 00:02:59,700 - No, it was real. 99 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,120 - There must be a catch. 100 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:02,260 - No, they're just nice people 101 00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:04,730 who want you to try lots of different toppings. 102 00:03:04,729 --> 00:03:05,559 Like olives. 103 00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:06,832 I used to be scared of olives. 104 00:03:06,830 --> 00:03:07,940 I thought they were lizard eggs 105 00:03:07,939 --> 00:03:09,119 that would hatch in my mouth, 106 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,220 but get this, right, apparently they come from a tree. 107 00:03:12,219 --> 00:03:14,799 (upbeat music) 108 00:03:26,008 --> 00:03:28,588 (phone chimes) 109 00:03:29,765 --> 00:03:31,895 (door clacks) 110 00:03:31,897 --> 00:03:33,527 - I'm so gonna be there on Thursday 111 00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:35,240 to watch you losers get destroyed. 112 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,610 - What, who told you? 113 00:03:36,610 --> 00:03:37,440 - It's out there. 114 00:03:37,443 --> 00:03:39,713 Twitter, Facebook, everybody knows. 115 00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:41,080 Thursday, 4:00 p.m. at the rec. 116 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,110 Tampax United versus The Men! 117 00:03:43,112 --> 00:03:44,472 - It wasn't my idea. 118 00:03:44,472 --> 00:03:45,852 It was Holli's idea-- - Tai's just asked me 119 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,170 to hide your sports bra 120 00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:49,190 so he can watch your boobs bounce up and down. 121 00:03:49,190 --> 00:03:50,020 But I won't, obviously. 122 00:03:50,023 --> 00:03:51,403 That's just wrong, man. 123 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,380 - You better not be texting your mates about my boobs, 124 00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:55,320 especially if you don't want it spread round 125 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,520 the whole school that you bum cats. 126 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:58,350 - Bum cats? 127 00:03:58,353 --> 00:03:59,283 What? (Anna chuckles) 128 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,200 - Christ, Viva, what made you think you could compete 129 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,350 against the boys' team? 130 00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:06,670 - Look, it was not my idea! 131 00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:08,010 - You lot are fine for girls, 132 00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:09,690 but compared to the boys, you're shit. 133 00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:11,160 I mean, they could beat you with half a team 134 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,360 and a baby squid in goal. 135 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,520 - Yeah, well, you're our coach, 136 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,630 so if we're that shit, maybe it's your fault. 137 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,990 - No, I don't think it's my fault you're shit. 138 00:04:17,985 --> 00:04:20,915 (phone rings) 139 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,360 - Hello? 140 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,610 Yeah. Hi, Dad. 141 00:04:24,474 --> 00:04:28,044 Yeah, yeah, we are but, it wasn't my idea! 142 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,400 God, and I'm proper sick of everyone, 143 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,920 including your girlfriend, putting me down! 144 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,010 - I'll be the ref if you like. 145 00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:35,200 - Sorry, Dad, there's a noise in my ear! 146 00:04:35,203 --> 00:04:37,293 - [Jamie] Dad, she said that I bum cats. 147 00:04:37,293 --> 00:04:38,133 - You know what? 148 00:04:38,126 --> 00:04:39,476 I'm gonna ask Mr. Philips for help 149 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,570 because Mr. Philips trains the boys' team, 150 00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:44,300 so Mr. Philips must be a proper coach. 151 00:04:44,298 --> 00:04:46,298 Unlike you! 152 00:04:46,295 --> 00:04:48,735 (loud slam) (upbeat rock music) 153 00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:49,790 (loud slam) I like to treat myself 154 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,520 to a big old storm out now and then. 155 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,790 I feel I owe it to myself as a teenager. 156 00:05:02,585 --> 00:05:03,495 - Et voila. 157 00:05:05,446 --> 00:05:07,226 - So many toppings. 158 00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:08,280 - Dough balls. 159 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,680 - It's like heaven. 160 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,180 - There must be a catch. 161 00:05:11,184 --> 00:05:12,024 - Amber. 162 00:05:12,017 --> 00:05:13,597 Hi. 163 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,900 - Uh, I've brought my friends. 164 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,130 John said I could. - Yeah. 165 00:05:16,126 --> 00:05:16,956 Cool. 166 00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:18,069 Come on in, guys. 167 00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:20,060 I'm Jenny, please, um. 168 00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:22,120 Yeah, help yourself to.... 169 00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:28,070 - You do realize this isn't a pizza club? 170 00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:28,900 - What is it, then? 171 00:05:28,903 --> 00:05:31,583 - There are a few clues, Amber. 172 00:05:31,577 --> 00:05:34,577 (slow guitar music) 173 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,742 - That song's a bit of a giveaway. 174 00:05:37,743 --> 00:05:40,193 ♪ Jesus wasn't stuck up ♪ 175 00:05:40,191 --> 00:05:43,631 ♪ Till he was stuck up on the cross ♪ 176 00:05:43,631 --> 00:05:46,531 ♪ Jesus, you're my leader ♪ 177 00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:48,933 ♪ Jesus, you're the boss ♪ 178 00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:50,614 - They use the pizza as bait to get you in here! 179 00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:53,310 - It isn't the pedos, is it? 180 00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:54,630 - It's the Christians. 181 00:05:54,630 --> 00:05:55,460 - Oh, yeah. 182 00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:56,993 I always get them two muddled up. 183 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,860 What's them others I get confused? 184 00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:01,280 Osama, Obama, the Dalai Lama. 185 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,800 Which one is the American President? 186 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,720 - Come on, Amber, we've been through this before. 187 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,260 - I know, but I'm upset. 188 00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:09,020 You can't expect me to remember world politics. 189 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,550 Since Brandon got Charlie pregnant 190 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:11,770 that's all I can think about. 191 00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:13,370 It takes up my entire brain. 192 00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:14,780 - Yeah, I can believe that. 193 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,386 - Have they tried to talk to you about religion? 194 00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:18,880 - No, never. 195 00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:22,430 There is this one bit at the end where they all stand up 196 00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:25,590 and say sad random stuff about how they feel lost and alone, 197 00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:26,810 but that's normally when I start looking 198 00:06:26,810 --> 00:06:28,770 for the hot chocolate. - Oh, my God. 199 00:06:28,770 --> 00:06:29,600 There's hot chocolate? 200 00:06:29,603 --> 00:06:31,053 I'm staying for that. 201 00:06:31,053 --> 00:06:32,723 - Badges, what's up? 202 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:34,772 - [Saz] Mm-hm. 203 00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:36,910 - You're a Christian. 204 00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:38,120 - Yeah, big time. 205 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,120 - Didn't realize. 206 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,220 - Church of St. Pizza. 207 00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:42,830 So, you ready for Thursday? 208 00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:43,910 Football? 209 00:06:43,910 --> 00:06:45,790 - You didn't take all that shit seriously? 210 00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:47,050 - You can't get out of it now. 211 00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:48,210 You challenged us. 212 00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:49,850 - Yeah, well, not me. 213 00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:54,170 - [Rocky] So, what's your name? 214 00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:55,120 - Viva. 215 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,520 - Rocky. 216 00:06:56,523 --> 00:06:57,553 - Is that your real name? 217 00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,500 - Nah, 'cause I'm a fighter, innit? 218 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,330 - Oh, you're that Rocky. 219 00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:02,123 There's a rumor going around that you killed 220 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,920 that one-armed guy from the kebab shop. 221 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,100 - Yeah, yeah, that was me. 222 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:05,930 I didn't actually kill him. 223 00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:08,493 I just hurt him quite bad with some chili sauce. 224 00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,130 - So you've got anger management issues? 225 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,260 - Nah, just kebab issues. 226 00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:14,410 Oh, you want some dough balls? 227 00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:15,910 - [Holli] Oi, Viva. 228 00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:16,740 Check it. 229 00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:19,550 I'm Jesus. 230 00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:21,900 - So, when you hurt that one-armed kebab guy, 231 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,190 was it because you were experiencing 232 00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:24,890 some kind of uncontrollable rage? 233 00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:26,180 - No, not really. 234 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,140 I was just insanely drunk. 235 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:29,490 But I'm, like, a good boy now. 236 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,530 I channel all my aggression into my football. 237 00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:32,580 - Yeah? 238 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:33,750 Me too. 239 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,990 - Listen, do you want to come to a party tonight? 240 00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:38,690 It's just gonna be me, my boys, some select people. 241 00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:40,560 Keeping it on the down low. 242 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,990 - My dad's really funny about me going out 243 00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:42,880 on a school night. 244 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,210 - Aw, there's nothing to be scared of. 245 00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:45,170 You can bring your crew. 246 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,293 - Who? 247 00:07:46,293 --> 00:07:48,963 (loud grunting) 248 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:52,360 Oh, my crew? 249 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,420 Yeah. Sure. 250 00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:54,560 - Give me your number. 251 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,390 - [Viva] Okay. 252 00:07:56,490 --> 00:07:59,190 - That greedy bitch stuffed all the ham and pineapple! 253 00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:05,360 Hope you ain't trying to back out of the match. 254 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,330 - No, can't hardly wait. 255 00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:08,850 - Yeah, I wouldn't get too excited 256 00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:10,440 'cause we're gonna smash you to a pulp. 257 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,480 We're basically gonna make you into a boy smoothie, 258 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,900 and I ain't even joking. 259 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:14,990 - Shut up, Holli. 260 00:08:14,993 --> 00:08:17,913 - Later. 261 00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:19,170 - What is wrong with you, Holli? 262 00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:20,580 The girls' team can't win. 263 00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,980 - Okay, okay, but give me one good reason why not. 264 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,000 - Because of basic human anatomy. 265 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,470 Why are there different events at the Olympics 266 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:27,740 for men and women? 267 00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:30,420 - 'Cause there's a conspiracy to keep the sisters down! 268 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,092 - We're gonna be massively humiliated. 269 00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:35,000 - Viva, Mrs. Pankhurst is watching you from her grave 270 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,690 and she's very fucking disappointed with your attitude! 271 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,500 - [Viva Voiceover] Rocky's clearly a really screwed up guy 272 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,280 with some mental health problems. 273 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,640 In a fucked up sort of way, that makes him extra hot. 274 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,550 - [Saz] Do you like him? 275 00:08:49,550 --> 00:08:51,360 - He's interesting. 276 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,670 - You do like him. 277 00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:54,000 - You shagged him yet? 278 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,650 - Yes, on top of the pizza table 279 00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:57,400 while they were singing that song about Jesus. 280 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,130 - No, I mean, people sometimes find a way at school. 281 00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:01,410 There's places no one goes, 282 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,960 cupboard, back of the library, the quiet study area, 283 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,850 where shagging can be done. 284 00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:06,880 I've heard. 285 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,720 - No, I haven't shagged him yet. 286 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,600 - And I've met a boy who really likes me. 287 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,660 - Yeah, if you don't start sexing up some boy soon, 288 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:14,980 you're gonna get a bad reputation. 289 00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:17,450 - Yeah, boys will think you're a fridge. 290 00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:18,370 Do I mean fridge? 291 00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:20,320 - Said I've met a boy who really likes me. 292 00:09:20,317 --> 00:09:21,287 - No, you mean frigid. 293 00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:23,470 And I don't think anyone thinks I'm frigid. 294 00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:24,730 - Well, yeah, Brandon does. 295 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,370 He thinks you're well frigid. 296 00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:27,640 - Hello?! 297 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:28,650 Can anyone hear me?! 298 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:31,450 I said I've met a boy who really likes me! 299 00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:32,740 Yeah, me! 300 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:33,950 A boy likes me! 301 00:09:33,953 --> 00:09:35,383 A really hot boy likes me. 302 00:09:35,377 --> 00:09:36,517 - Are you sure? 303 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,350 - Yeah. - You shagged him? 304 00:09:37,353 --> 00:09:39,013 - No. - So, who is he? 305 00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:40,330 - Is he that boy from geography, 306 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,900 can fit a whole orange in his mouth? 307 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,930 - No, why would it be him? 308 00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:44,758 - I don't know. 309 00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:46,001 I thought it might be. 310 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,600 I tried to do that thing with an orange once, 311 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,010 but it got stuck and I couldn't breathe 312 00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,120 and I thought I was gonna die, 313 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,560 and the guy from behind the meat counter 314 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,110 had to get it out with his pen. 315 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:56,580 - So, tell us all the details. 316 00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:57,610 Name, age-- 317 00:09:57,610 --> 00:09:58,890 - Size of his apparatus. 318 00:09:58,887 --> 00:09:59,717 - His name's Jackson. 319 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,340 He doesn't come from round here, though. 320 00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:02,430 I met him through my cousin. 321 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,470 - Bring him to the party. 322 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,820 - Yeah, bring him. 323 00:10:04,816 --> 00:10:05,916 - Yeah, bring him. 324 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,570 I never thought you'd have a boyfriend. 325 00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:08,820 We thought you was gay. 326 00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:09,920 - No, we didn't. 327 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:10,910 - Well, yeah, we did. 328 00:10:10,912 --> 00:10:12,492 - No, we didn't. - So, you're gonna bring him? 329 00:10:12,490 --> 00:10:14,260 - [Viva] Yeah, we'd like to meet him. 330 00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:15,577 - You thought I was gay? 331 00:10:15,577 --> 00:10:16,677 - No. - No. 332 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,060 - Course not. - No, course not. 333 00:10:18,061 --> 00:10:18,891 - No. 334 00:10:18,894 --> 00:10:21,094 No, we definitely didn't think you was gay. 335 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,670 - Well, he won't be able to come, anyway. 336 00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:24,700 He has to help his brother. 337 00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,060 - He's got a brother? - Yeah. 338 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:26,960 - You shagged him? 339 00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:31,070 - [Viva] Let's all get ready at my house tonight. 340 00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:34,316 ("Love Me" by Stooshe) 341 00:10:36,611 --> 00:10:38,451 (laughing) 342 00:10:38,452 --> 00:10:40,562 - So, you think she should? 343 00:10:40,561 --> 00:10:41,421 And you think she shouldn't? 344 00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:43,040 - Yup. - So it's all down to me? 345 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,970 I've got the deciding vote, like Simon Cowell? 346 00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:46,620 - I think I can decide for myself 347 00:10:46,617 --> 00:10:48,687 if I want to shag Rocky or not. 348 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,010 - I bet you want to. 349 00:10:50,010 --> 00:10:51,440 - Bits of me are very keen. 350 00:10:51,435 --> 00:10:53,685 (laughing) 351 00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:59,200 - We look like four skanky Barbies. 352 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,670 - Or a dodgy girl group aimed at six-year-olds. 353 00:11:01,669 --> 00:11:03,549 - I just love pink. 354 00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:05,543 - I'm not really sure about this top, Amber. 355 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,550 - Oh, don't worry, you'll be fine. 356 00:11:07,547 --> 00:11:12,487 Last time I wore that, I had the best sex of my life. 357 00:11:12,489 --> 00:11:14,909 (all scream) 358 00:11:16,037 --> 00:11:19,167 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, turn it up and I'll go ♪ 359 00:11:19,165 --> 00:11:21,935 ♪ 'Cause I won't need you no more, no ♪ 360 00:11:21,938 --> 00:11:23,568 ♪ Whoa ♪ 361 00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:26,677 ♪ Your place, fine, but I ain't got the time ♪ 362 00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:31,084 ♪ Why don't you hurry up, yeah, hurry up, yeah, hurry up ♪ 363 00:11:31,078 --> 00:11:32,518 ♪ Love me ♪ 364 00:11:32,523 --> 00:11:34,613 (laughs) 365 00:11:36,708 --> 00:11:37,778 - Obviously, there was nothing else 366 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,170 I could do after he said that. 367 00:11:39,170 --> 00:11:40,760 No one talks about my mum, innit? 368 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:41,600 So I hit him. 369 00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:44,450 - This was your dad? 370 00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:45,890 - Lucky for him. 371 00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:47,220 I only hurt him a little bit. 372 00:11:47,224 --> 00:11:48,664 He can still walk, you know what I mean? 373 00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:50,795 - Don't know why you keep boasting about hurting people. 374 00:11:50,803 --> 00:11:52,493 It's like you're trying to impress me. 375 00:11:52,493 --> 00:11:55,103 - Ooh, right, I get it, you're a good girl. 376 00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,000 - No. 377 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,020 - Yes, you are. 378 00:11:57,020 --> 00:12:00,360 I bet you ain't never done nothing naughty your whole life. 379 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,460 - You don't know me. 380 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:05,010 Done loads of mad psycho stuff. 381 00:12:05,013 --> 00:12:08,353 ("Rude Boy" by Rihanna) 382 00:12:12,321 --> 00:12:14,011 - If you're so crazy bad, yeah, 383 00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,850 how come you ain't never popped up on my radar 384 00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:16,820 with your mad shit? 385 00:12:16,824 --> 00:12:17,774 - I dunno, bruv. 386 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,660 Maybe your radar's busted, innit? 387 00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:22,260 Or maybe it's tuned at a less mad level than I'm at. 388 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:27,200 - You know, I'm getting a stupendously massive hard-on 389 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,250 looking at your eyes. 390 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,650 - My eyes? 391 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,480 So not my tits, then? 392 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,890 - Yeah, your eyes. 393 00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:35,080 I'm romantic. 394 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:39,150 But don't worry, your tits are not hurting the situation. 395 00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:41,320 - Ah, great 'cause my tits are getting a hard-on 396 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,620 just looking at your eyes as well. 397 00:12:43,615 --> 00:12:44,865 (chuckles) 398 00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,106 - What? 399 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:46,953 What? 400 00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,360 ♪ Come here, rude boy, boy, can you get it up ♪ 401 00:12:54,361 --> 00:12:56,781 ♪ Come here, rude boy, boy, is you big enough ♪ 402 00:12:56,780 --> 00:13:00,570 ♪ Take it, take it, baby, baby, take it, take it ♪ 403 00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:01,580 - That was hot. 404 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,410 - Yeah. 405 00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:04,613 I don't think you're head girl material after all. 406 00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:05,520 - No way, man. 407 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,280 Fuck that shit! 408 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,790 - You wanna go somewhere more private? 409 00:13:08,790 --> 00:13:09,810 - Definitely. 410 00:13:09,810 --> 00:13:11,310 That's what I'm talking about. 411 00:13:12,470 --> 00:13:16,170 Me and him are going upstairs to bang each other's tits off. 412 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,250 - Uh, does he know you've only done it once? 413 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,160 - Shh! 414 00:13:19,161 --> 00:13:21,611 ♪ Relax, let me do it how I wanna ♪ 415 00:13:21,613 --> 00:13:24,863 ♪ If you got it, I need it and I'ma put it down ♪ 416 00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:26,330 - I can hear a sort of rhythmic thumping. 417 00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:28,313 I think it must be Viva's head 418 00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:30,270 banging against the headboard. 419 00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:31,570 They're really going at it. 420 00:13:31,566 --> 00:13:33,546 (loud thumping) 421 00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:35,000 Yeah! 422 00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:37,243 He is proper doing her! 423 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,030 - That's the bass from the music. 424 00:13:39,032 --> 00:13:40,632 - Oh. 425 00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:41,660 Now I can hear laughing. 426 00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:44,300 - Maybe he can't get hard, and she's taking the piss. 427 00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,530 That's what I'd do if a boy can't get hard. 428 00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,520 - I think he just said she looks gorgeous. 429 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,330 I think he really likes her. 430 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,980 - Jackson thinks I'm gorgeous. 431 00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:53,100 See the bracelet he got me? 432 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,540 26 pounds from Argos. 433 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:55,370 - Did he really? 434 00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:59,640 - Brandon got me a diamond bracelet once. 435 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,010 12.99 from Asda. 436 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,110 I don't think it was real diamonds. 437 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:07,390 - And you've got your ASBO bracelet, haven't you, Holls? 438 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:08,300 (chuckles) 439 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,130 Joking. 440 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,340 - I'm gonna go back to the drinks. 441 00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:12,940 Text me if you hear any humping. 442 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:18,140 - Wait. 443 00:14:19,487 --> 00:14:21,107 Do you want me to give you a lap dance? 444 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,260 - Yeah? 445 00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:23,090 Why not? 446 00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:34,963 (loud clack) 447 00:14:34,955 --> 00:14:38,015 (loud thud) (loud clattering) 448 00:14:38,023 --> 00:14:39,203 You all right? 449 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,500 - Oh, God, what am I doing? 450 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,330 - What's up? 451 00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,807 - I'm not really mad and psycho. 452 00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:47,990 I'm a good girl. 453 00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:49,910 Motivated at school, check. 454 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:52,020 Wanna go to uni, check. 455 00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,660 I'm not a neek, or nothing. 456 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,830 - So, you're not gonna bang my tits off? 457 00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:57,660 - No. 458 00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:01,240 - So, what's with the big acts? 459 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,770 Pretending to be psycho-slut? 460 00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:06,796 - I don't know, it's just, you know when people judge you 461 00:15:06,802 --> 00:15:08,072 and they put you in a box and then they say 462 00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:09,650 that you're something, and you're not? 463 00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:10,480 I hate that. 464 00:15:10,483 --> 00:15:12,113 - Yeah, me too. 465 00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:14,330 Sometimes, people think I'm thick 466 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,060 'cause I didn't pass any exams, 467 00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:19,590 and that I'm violent just 'cause I hit lots of people. 468 00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:21,050 That's annoying. 469 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:21,880 - Must be. 470 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:24,370 So do you mind if... 471 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:26,700 Not doing it? 472 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:27,530 - Mind? 473 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:29,860 There's no challenge if a girl gives it up 474 00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:31,100 the first time I try. 475 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,270 - So, if I had done it, you'd think I was a slag? 476 00:15:33,270 --> 00:15:35,990 - Well, it would've been nice, but yeah. 477 00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:38,490 But you didn't, so you're not a slag. 478 00:15:39,383 --> 00:15:40,583 - That is wrong. 479 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:42,640 Boys shouldn't think about girls like that. 480 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,270 Going back to my mates. 481 00:15:44,272 --> 00:15:46,412 - Aw, this isn't gonna end here. 482 00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:48,140 No way, this is a destiny thing. 483 00:15:48,138 --> 00:15:49,128 (door slams) 484 00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:51,305 (sighs) 485 00:15:51,305 --> 00:15:52,735 - "A destiny thing." 486 00:15:52,737 --> 00:15:54,487 - "Destiny thing." 487 00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:55,970 - What the fuck is that? 488 00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:57,970 - He's basically saying that me and him are, like, 489 00:15:57,970 --> 00:15:59,230 written in the stars. 490 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,430 - I used to think me and Brandon were fated to be together, 491 00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:03,990 but now I'm not so sure. 492 00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:05,100 It's like in Eminem's song, 493 00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,937 "that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano." 494 00:16:07,940 --> 00:16:09,450 - What, you and him? 495 00:16:09,453 --> 00:16:11,213 A tornado and a volcano? 496 00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:12,040 Which one are you? 497 00:16:12,043 --> 00:16:14,453 - Oh, my God. 498 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:15,710 Oh, my God, shit! 499 00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:19,370 The boys' football team are, like, 500 00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,580 amazingly good at football. 501 00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:22,753 Why did you let me challenge them to a football match? 502 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,380 - What?! - They're incredible! 503 00:16:24,382 --> 00:16:25,432 Look at their skills! 504 00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:26,310 We've got to cancel. 505 00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,570 - Well, we can't cancel now. 506 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,790 We'll just look like idiots. 507 00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:29,970 - That's right. 508 00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:30,812 Amber? 509 00:16:30,805 --> 00:16:32,165 - I think I'm the tornado. 510 00:16:32,173 --> 00:16:34,693 And Brandon's the volcano. 511 00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:35,520 I'm starved. 512 00:16:35,523 --> 00:16:36,513 Pizza club? 513 00:16:36,514 --> 00:16:38,214 - No, does my head in when they sing. 514 00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:39,250 - [Holli] Could you get me a slice of ham 515 00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:40,400 and pineapple, Amber? 516 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,670 - Yeah, you'd better write this down. 517 00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:42,690 I'll have a margherita. 518 00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:43,780 - Peperami for me. 519 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,010 Not writing it down. 520 00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:47,090 - I don't think I should. 521 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,280 I don't think God would like me to steal. 522 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,800 - [Holli] She's been brainwashed. 523 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:51,651 (laughing) - No. 524 00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:53,910 I've just decided to walk with Christ. 525 00:16:53,910 --> 00:16:55,830 - Three pizzas and you're a Christian? 526 00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:56,660 - Yeah. 527 00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:58,823 And I'm supposed to talk to all my friends about the Bible, 528 00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,320 make you lot Christians too. 529 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,270 - What, us? 530 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,470 - Yeah. 531 00:17:02,470 --> 00:17:04,630 So, you don't want to talk about the Bible with me? 532 00:17:04,630 --> 00:17:06,200 - No, thanks. 533 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,300 - Well, good, 'cause all the non-Christians 534 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,130 who just come for the pizza 535 00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:11,533 are getting too much of the food! 536 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,111 (upbeat music) 537 00:17:21,097 --> 00:17:22,387 - Where's Jackson? 538 00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:23,560 Is he coming to support you? 539 00:17:23,557 --> 00:17:24,947 - No, Jackson couldn't come. 540 00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:25,776 - Is that because he's made up? 541 00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,859 - Excuse me. (loud thud) 542 00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:28,990 - [Holli] Hey, chunks, come here! 543 00:17:28,990 --> 00:17:31,580 - Holli says that Rocky's been banging a load of slags, 544 00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:33,030 and Saz says he's dumb, 545 00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:35,100 but I bet she wouldn't say that if she talked to him. 546 00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:37,803 I mean, why do people say these things? 547 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,780 Well confused. 548 00:17:40,330 --> 00:17:41,950 Amber, you even listening? 549 00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:43,190 - Yeah, of course I am. 550 00:17:43,185 --> 00:17:45,005 You said Rocky's dumb and likes slags. 551 00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:47,630 - No, I said, oh, never mind. 552 00:17:47,630 --> 00:17:49,070 - Any tips for us, miss? 553 00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:50,110 - I'm the ref, Holli. 554 00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,360 I'm impartial. 555 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,750 - Yeah, but you're on our side, really, aren't you? 556 00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:54,910 - You want a tip? 557 00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:57,050 You know how we normally play two, two, two? 558 00:17:57,050 --> 00:17:57,920 Forget that. 559 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,420 Just put everyone in defense. 560 00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:02,270 And don't underestimate the keeper. 561 00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,020 I know he's got bigger boobs than most of us, 562 00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:05,950 but he can save anything. 563 00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:07,570 - He probably won't need to. 564 00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:08,730 - No, I'd say your only chance 565 00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:10,420 is to get their team sent off. 566 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,160 - [Viva] Okay, this is it. 567 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:12,990 Team hug. 568 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:15,370 - Oh, I just want you all to know 569 00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:18,210 that I went to church yesterday and I spoke to the vicar, 570 00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:20,270 and he said he would pray for us, so we should be okay. 571 00:18:20,274 --> 00:18:21,534 (whistles) 572 00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:22,470 - [Anna] Come on, ladies. 573 00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:23,670 They're waiting for you. 574 00:18:25,026 --> 00:18:27,286 (upbeat music) 575 00:18:27,294 --> 00:18:28,714 Good luck, girls. 576 00:18:30,144 --> 00:18:32,394 (whistles) 577 00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:49,733 (whistles) 578 00:19:05,341 --> 00:19:07,671 (loud slap) 579 00:19:26,795 --> 00:19:29,095 - Next time, Holli, just keep your mouth shut! 580 00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:30,324 - [Amber] I can't understand it! 581 00:19:30,324 --> 00:19:32,794 The vicar must've lied when he said he'd pray for us! 582 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:35,700 - [Viva] Well, I can hold my head up. I scored. 583 00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,646 (phone beeps) 584 00:19:37,650 --> 00:19:40,900 I just think it was really sweet of Rocky to help me score. 585 00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:45,720 I mean, I know it was to get into my pants. 586 00:19:47,242 --> 00:19:49,512 - I didn't want you to lose to zero, innit? 587 00:19:49,514 --> 00:19:51,434 I wanted to see you smile. 588 00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:52,890 - What's your real name? 589 00:19:52,890 --> 00:19:53,940 - Romario. 590 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,420 He was some footballing legend back in the day. 591 00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:02,940 - Whoa, Romario. 592 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,230 You're getting naked? 593 00:20:04,230 --> 00:20:05,060 - Enjoy. 594 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,940 What's all this bling, anyway? 595 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,680 - Well, that's anti-bullying council, 596 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,420 citizenship champion, peer mentor, peer listener, 597 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,580 and that's just something I got free 598 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,600 from a box of cornflakes. 599 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,430 - Right. 600 00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:18,383 - Got so many scars. 601 00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:19,615 What's that one? 602 00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,080 - Uh, hit by lightning. 603 00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:22,155 - For real? 604 00:20:22,157 --> 00:20:22,987 And that one? 605 00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:25,610 - Uh, gunshot wound, pretty standard. 606 00:20:25,610 --> 00:20:28,430 Uh, shark bite, that's a long story. 607 00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:29,810 - Really? 608 00:20:29,807 --> 00:20:30,707 What are they all? 609 00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:35,680 - My dad was not a good guy. 610 00:20:35,677 --> 00:20:36,727 - Your dad did these? 611 00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:38,999 Oh, my God. 612 00:20:41,052 --> 00:20:42,402 - No! 613 00:20:42,397 --> 00:20:43,677 Not really. 614 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:44,520 Your face. 615 00:20:45,801 --> 00:20:46,801 I don't really like talking about it 616 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,120 'cause the truth's kind of embarrassing. 617 00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:52,370 Basically, when I was younger, 618 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,565 I was savaged by my nan's cat. 619 00:20:56,568 --> 00:20:57,948 (laughs) 620 00:20:57,947 --> 00:20:58,787 - A cat did these? 621 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,360 - It was a massive fucking cat, yeah! 622 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,460 It was more like a puma. 623 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:04,950 I could have taken it out, 624 00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:07,660 but it was my nan's only friend, so. 625 00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,280 - I really believed you about your dad. 626 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,180 - I'm a good liar. 627 00:21:12,290 --> 00:21:14,450 If I'd kept on with the lie about my dad, 628 00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:16,370 could've got you to do it with me. 629 00:21:16,370 --> 00:21:21,290 I mean, proper do it, but I respect you too much. 630 00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:22,810 - Don't respect me too much. 631 00:21:28,430 --> 00:21:31,010 (upbeat music) 632 00:21:42,588 --> 00:21:43,898 (gasps) 633 00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,800 - What's wrong? 634 00:21:45,795 --> 00:21:48,175 - Can't hold my breath that long. 635 00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:49,055 How d'you do it? 636 00:21:49,064 --> 00:21:50,174 - You don't have to hold your breath. 637 00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:52,510 Can just breathe through your nose, you know? 638 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,980 You ain't never kissed no one before? 639 00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,730 - Yeah, course I have. 640 00:21:57,727 --> 00:21:59,177 - You okay, yeah? 641 00:21:59,181 --> 00:22:00,411 Do we need an ambulance? 642 00:22:00,409 --> 00:22:01,419 - No, I'm fine. 643 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:02,920 Just got to go home. 644 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,700 - Yeah, 'cause you're scared you can't hold out 645 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:06,820 against the power of this. 646 00:22:06,818 --> 00:22:09,718 (upbeat pop music) 647 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,180 - [Viva Voiceover] A girl's gotta say no at least twice, 648 00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:14,160 especially with a guy like Rocky. 649 00:22:14,157 --> 00:22:15,997 (door thuds) 650 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,310 But I really, really like him. 651 00:22:17,307 --> 00:22:19,287 (car horn beeps) 652 00:22:19,290 --> 00:22:20,730 - So, you ain't shagged him? 653 00:22:20,727 --> 00:22:22,087 I bet he's good at it. 654 00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,130 - How can you tell? 655 00:22:23,130 --> 00:22:25,180 - [Holli] He just looks like he'd really (grunts). 656 00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:27,860 - We're taking our time, not rushing into anything, 657 00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:30,010 but, you know, obviously, I'm gonna shag him. 658 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:31,860 - I'll have him when you've finished. 659 00:22:33,243 --> 00:22:34,083 And what of Jackson? 660 00:22:34,076 --> 00:22:34,906 You shagged him? 661 00:22:34,909 --> 00:22:36,999 - No, it's not like that with Jackson. 662 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,180 - Yeah, must be really hard to shag an invisible man. 663 00:22:39,182 --> 00:22:41,802 - Shut up! - Finding his invisible penis. 664 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,630 Giving him an invisible blow job. 665 00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:44,460 - He's real! 666 00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:46,493 - Let's all meet later at pizza club, yeah? 667 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:49,220 - What, so you can see Rocky again? 668 00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:50,320 - So you can shag him? 669 00:22:51,184 --> 00:22:54,094 ♪ Jesus was a cool guy ♪ 670 00:22:54,092 --> 00:22:56,762 ♪ Jesus had a plan ♪ 671 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,690 ♪ To make us love each other ♪ 672 00:22:59,688 --> 00:23:02,348 ♪ Jesus, you're the man ♪ 673 00:23:02,351 --> 00:23:04,861 ♪ If you ask me who the daddy ♪ 674 00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:07,280 - The truth about me and Jackson 675 00:23:08,350 --> 00:23:10,460 is, like, it wasn't right for me, and I dumped him. 676 00:23:10,460 --> 00:23:11,320 - You made him up. 677 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,670 Admit it. 678 00:23:12,670 --> 00:23:15,740 - 'Cause you was jealous of Viva having a boyfriend. 679 00:23:15,740 --> 00:23:17,700 - This is all actually quite hurtful. 680 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,350 You're supposed to be my friends! 681 00:23:20,830 --> 00:23:23,890 - Amber, the group thinks it's time we heard from you. 682 00:23:23,890 --> 00:23:25,380 You've been coming for a while now, 683 00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:27,870 and we'd love to hear about your journey to God. 684 00:23:39,140 --> 00:23:40,360 - What, now? 685 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,190 - Yeah. 686 00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:43,360 Come up to the mic. 687 00:23:48,820 --> 00:23:50,880 - Hi, everyone. 688 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,760 Uh, Jenny asked me to say a bit 689 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,820 about my, uh, journey to God. 690 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,740 I think it all started 691 00:23:58,740 --> 00:24:01,460 when I took my first bite of chicken tikka pizza. 692 00:24:01,460 --> 00:24:04,160 I was, like, oh, my God, this tastes amazing! 693 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,030 Like, almost holy! 694 00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:07,367 I mean, who would have thought 695 00:24:07,366 --> 00:24:09,576 of mixing Italian food and Indian food? 696 00:24:09,580 --> 00:24:11,560 That is just proper genius! 697 00:24:11,559 --> 00:24:13,409 At first, when I come in here, 698 00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:16,100 I was, like, seeing all these Ts and I thought-- 699 00:24:16,097 --> 00:24:17,427 - What are you doing here? 700 00:24:17,430 --> 00:24:18,450 - I needed to see you. 701 00:24:18,447 --> 00:24:19,277 - Why? 702 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,200 You got my text, dumping you, right? 703 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,520 - Mum's really angry. 704 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,950 She wants the bracelet back. 705 00:24:23,950 --> 00:24:25,020 - I'm not scared of your mum. 706 00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:26,790 Just piss off. 707 00:24:26,788 --> 00:24:28,728 - Do you want to come round some time 708 00:24:28,730 --> 00:24:29,600 and get your pink hoodie? 709 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:30,710 - You can keep it! 710 00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:31,940 It'll suit you! 711 00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:33,820 - [Amber] And then I realized, no, 712 00:24:33,816 --> 00:24:34,866 it weren't, it was a cross. 713 00:24:34,868 --> 00:24:35,758 - There you go. 714 00:24:35,755 --> 00:24:37,385 He exists, just like I said. 715 00:24:37,390 --> 00:24:38,370 You said he was 716 00:24:38,370 --> 00:24:40,300 a really hot boy. - Really hot boy. 717 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:41,400 Is he still in primary school? 718 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,630 - He's 16. 719 00:24:42,630 --> 00:24:44,810 - He's quite cute, though, like a little dolly. 720 00:24:44,810 --> 00:24:45,900 - Oh, my God. 721 00:24:45,897 --> 00:24:47,747 You didn't shag him, did you? 722 00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:48,790 - The only thing I would suggest 723 00:24:48,790 --> 00:24:50,900 is you're a little less tight on the mozzarella. 724 00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:51,780 I mean, come on, guys. 725 00:24:51,780 --> 00:24:53,340 Pizza needs cheese, that's just the way it is. 726 00:24:53,340 --> 00:24:58,340 - Amber, um, just a little reminder, we are Christians. 727 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,490 We're not just about pizza. 728 00:25:00,490 --> 00:25:02,880 - But that's why people come, obviously, 729 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,320 to the pizza club! 730 00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:06,720 - It's... 731 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,680 It's not a pizza club. 732 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,830 - Well, it's a club and there's pizza. 733 00:25:10,830 --> 00:25:14,310 - Yeah, but it's not a pizza club. 734 00:25:14,310 --> 00:25:15,530 - Well, it is. - It's not a bloody 735 00:25:15,534 --> 00:25:16,544 pizza club, all right?! 736 00:25:16,537 --> 00:25:18,887 (speakers squeal) 737 00:25:18,890 --> 00:25:20,920 - But that is why people come. 738 00:25:23,997 --> 00:25:25,837 Do you want me to sing now? - No. 739 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,110 No, thank you, Amber. 740 00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:29,210 - But I can rap all of Pass Out by Tinie Tempah. 741 00:25:29,210 --> 00:25:30,360 - Amber, that's fine. 742 00:25:32,710 --> 00:25:35,990 - I'll now continue talking about my journey. 743 00:25:35,990 --> 00:25:37,160 - Oi, Saz. 744 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,810 - Hey! (upbeat music) 745 00:25:38,807 --> 00:25:41,147 - Most people think that God is a man 746 00:25:41,146 --> 00:25:43,066 with a big white beard, 747 00:25:43,066 --> 00:25:44,886 bit like Father Christmas, but in a nightie. 748 00:25:44,892 --> 00:25:45,822 - [Woman] Come here! 749 00:25:45,822 --> 00:25:47,752 (groans) - Get off! 750 00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:48,937 (yelps) (loud crash) 751 00:25:48,938 --> 00:25:50,308 - [Amber] Does he have a beard? 752 00:25:50,313 --> 00:25:51,553 Does he shave his beard? 753 00:25:51,547 --> 00:25:52,687 - I'm so sorry. 754 00:25:52,690 --> 00:25:53,520 I didn't mean to-- 755 00:25:53,523 --> 00:25:54,833 - [Amber] What does he shave his beard with? 756 00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:55,870 With a Gillette Mach3? 757 00:25:55,873 --> 00:25:57,753 - Your mum just nearly scalped me. 758 00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:59,680 - She just wants the bracelet back. 759 00:25:59,684 --> 00:26:00,734 (sighs) 760 00:26:00,730 --> 00:26:01,950 - Okay. 761 00:26:01,949 --> 00:26:03,749 Have your stupid bracelet back. 762 00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:07,960 - You are beautiful on the outside. 763 00:26:08,870 --> 00:26:10,340 You just don't have that inner beauty 764 00:26:10,340 --> 00:26:11,940 that I'm looking for in a woman. 765 00:26:15,150 --> 00:26:16,600 - He's got a point. 766 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,240 - Yep. 767 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,020 - I've tried to tell my friends that religion can help you 768 00:26:21,019 --> 00:26:24,439 if you have a problem, like my friend Viva. 769 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,370 Viva likes a boy called Rocky, 770 00:26:26,370 --> 00:26:28,470 but Rocky's a dumb idiot who's always in trouble 771 00:26:28,470 --> 00:26:29,710 and only likes slags. 772 00:26:29,710 --> 00:26:31,730 So, I tried to advise her, but she wasn't-- 773 00:26:31,730 --> 00:26:32,560 - Shut up! 774 00:26:33,445 --> 00:26:34,275 - Amen. 775 00:26:35,384 --> 00:26:37,564 - I didn't say that, she's got all my words mixed up. 776 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,490 - Whatever order you say them, those are harsh words. 777 00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:42,710 Look, I'll see you around, yeah? 778 00:26:42,710 --> 00:26:43,710 - Rocky. 779 00:26:43,710 --> 00:26:44,860 - I'm too dumb for you! 780 00:26:46,110 --> 00:26:48,060 Stick to girls who are dumb, like me! 781 00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:50,950 - Oh, my God. 782 00:26:50,950 --> 00:26:52,020 Thank you, Amber. 783 00:26:53,212 --> 00:26:54,052 - What? 784 00:26:54,045 --> 00:26:54,875 What'd I do? 785 00:26:57,220 --> 00:26:58,050 - Hot chocolate? 786 00:26:59,087 --> 00:27:02,087 (school bell rings) 787 00:27:07,470 --> 00:27:09,440 - Some good stuff in this book. 788 00:27:09,438 --> 00:27:10,938 It's well violent. 789 00:27:12,387 --> 00:27:15,187 ♪ People keep saying that I'm doing it wrong ♪ 790 00:27:15,186 --> 00:27:17,996 ♪ But I say it feels all right ♪ 791 00:27:17,998 --> 00:27:22,998 ♪ I really do try, really do try, really do try ♪ 792 00:27:23,562 --> 00:27:26,682 ♪ There's a million things that I could change ♪ 793 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,380 ♪ But maybe it's all right ♪ 794 00:27:29,380 --> 00:27:32,480 ♪ If this is my life, this is my life, this is my life ♪ 795 00:27:32,478 --> 00:27:34,488 ♪ People keep saying that I'm doing it wrong ♪ 796 00:27:34,485 --> 00:27:35,315 ♪ It's gonna be fine ♪ 797 00:27:35,318 --> 00:27:38,068 ♪ People keep saying that I'm doing it wrong ♪ 798 00:27:38,069 --> 00:27:40,069 ♪ People keep saying that I'm doing it wrong ♪ 799 00:27:40,070 --> 00:27:40,980 ♪ It's gonna be fine ♪ 800 00:27:40,977 --> 00:27:45,977 ♪ People keep saying that I'm doing it wrong ♪ 55306

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