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♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
2
00:00:02,951 --> 00:00:05,631
♪ Then I say it feels all right ♪
3
00:00:05,628 --> 00:00:09,738
♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪
4
00:00:09,738 --> 00:00:12,958
♪ There's a million things
that I could change ♪
5
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,700
♪ Then maybe it's all right ♪
6
00:00:15,701 --> 00:00:20,701
♪ This is my life, this is
my life, this is my life ♪
7
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,400
- No, when you break an
arm, there's a noise,
8
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,180
like a snap or a crunch.
9
00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:28,550
I didn't hear no snap or crunch.
10
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,820
- All I could hear was her screaming.
11
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:31,650
- Acting.
12
00:00:31,653 --> 00:00:33,373
I'm telling you, her arm wasn't broken.
13
00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:35,250
- That paramedic said it was.
14
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,420
- I could hear her screaming
15
00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:39,230
over the noise of the ambulance siren.
16
00:00:39,229 --> 00:00:41,359
I think I can still
hear her screaming now.
17
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,190
- Accept it.
18
00:00:42,193 --> 00:00:43,033
You broke her arm.
19
00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:44,576
- I'll accept it when I see the X-ray.
20
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:46,640
Anyway, what's everyone
fucking complaining about?
21
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:47,590
We won, didn't we?
22
00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:53,180
- Oi, chuck us the ball back
if you can get it that far.
23
00:00:53,180 --> 00:00:54,730
- Hush your gums, fat boy.
24
00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:56,470
We just won our match six, nil.
25
00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:57,560
- Oh, sweet!
26
00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,260
They won their little girly match.
27
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,410
I can see it now.
28
00:01:00,407 --> 00:01:01,417
"Oh, oh, help.
29
00:01:01,417 --> 00:01:02,737
"There's a ball coming towards me.
30
00:01:02,737 --> 00:01:04,787
"I better duck in case
it messes up my hair."
31
00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:05,950
- Shut up, Jordan.
32
00:01:05,950 --> 00:01:07,640
Holli, just give them their
ball back and let's go.
33
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,740
- Not till that dick apologizes
for disrespecting our team!
34
00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:11,700
- Your team?
35
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:13,640
You mean your club for annoying lesbians
36
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,280
who can't get boyfriends?
37
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,190
- If we was lesbians, why would
we want to get boyfriends?
38
00:01:18,190 --> 00:01:19,020
- Let's go.
39
00:01:19,023 --> 00:01:20,843
- Under FA regs, we wouldn't
even be allowed to play
40
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,220
'cause we're so much stronger than you,
41
00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:24,020
we might accidentally kill you.
42
00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:25,351
(laughing)
43
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,516
- I'd give them a match.
44
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,910
Check out their skills.
45
00:01:27,910 --> 00:01:29,150
They look pretty fit to me.
46
00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:32,010
- Fine, let's set up a match,
our team against your team.
47
00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:33,460
- No, Holli, that's a bad idea.
48
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,130
- Thursday, afterschool?
49
00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:35,990
- Yeah!
50
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:37,360
Yeah, if you like, whenever!
51
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,210
- [Viva] Come on.
52
00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:40,480
- Hey, Badges.
53
00:01:40,478 --> 00:01:41,308
- He means you.
54
00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:43,061
- You can make it the middle
of the night if you want
55
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:44,670
'cause we can beat you in our sleep,
56
00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:46,460
and I ain't even joking.
57
00:01:46,464 --> 00:01:49,034
- You want to get yourself
a bit of personal coaching,
58
00:01:49,030 --> 00:01:51,080
find out more about the offside rule?
59
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:51,910
- No, thanks.
60
00:01:51,913 --> 00:01:54,073
Won't be needing any personal
drilling sessions from you.
61
00:01:54,068 --> 00:01:55,478
- We're talking football, yeah?
62
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:56,660
- Yeah.
63
00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:59,920
- Right, 'cause I thought you
was trying to hit on me there.
64
00:02:01,966 --> 00:02:02,916
- In your dreams!
65
00:02:04,133 --> 00:02:06,723
(upbeat music)
66
00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:09,450
Let's be totally clear.
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00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:11,190
Someone like him and someone like me
68
00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:15,230
is never gonna happen,
which is kind of a shame.
69
00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:17,884
- We could even beat you if we was dead!
70
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:18,980
So, I told the rest of the girls,
71
00:02:18,980 --> 00:02:20,600
but I don't know what's
the matter with them.
72
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,900
It's like they think we can't win.
73
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:23,570
- We can't win.
- Only in our heads.
74
00:02:23,574 --> 00:02:26,624
- No, in our bodies, all over,
everywhere, we can't win.
75
00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:27,530
They're better.
76
00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:28,740
- It's 'cause of people like you
77
00:02:28,738 --> 00:02:30,128
there's never been a woman Prime Minister!
78
00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:31,690
- Actually, Holli--
- Or a woman astronaut!
79
00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:32,520
- Uh--
- Negativity's what's
80
00:02:32,523 --> 00:02:33,693
gonna beat us.
81
00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:34,580
Where's my chips?
82
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:36,970
Where's your chips?
83
00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:37,980
- Oh, I didn't want none.
84
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,710
I ate loads at pizza club.
85
00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:41,640
- Pizza club, that's a new one.
86
00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:42,481
- I know!
87
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:43,940
I just discovered it by accident.
88
00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:44,970
It's on at lunchtimes.
89
00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:46,320
It is amazing in there.
90
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,250
It's like heaven.
91
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,360
- Is it free?
92
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,550
- Yeah, I was walking past room D
93
00:02:49,553 --> 00:02:52,153
and this nice girl come out
in the corridor and said,
94
00:02:52,147 --> 00:02:52,977
"Do you like pizza?"
95
00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:55,270
And I was like, duh, obviously.
96
00:02:55,270 --> 00:02:56,370
And she said, "Come on in, then."
97
00:02:56,373 --> 00:02:58,493
- Were you asleep when
this happened, Amber?
98
00:02:58,490 --> 00:02:59,700
- No, it was real.
99
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,120
- There must be a catch.
100
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:02,260
- No, they're just nice people
101
00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:04,730
who want you to try lots
of different toppings.
102
00:03:04,729 --> 00:03:05,559
Like olives.
103
00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:06,832
I used to be scared of olives.
104
00:03:06,830 --> 00:03:07,940
I thought they were lizard eggs
105
00:03:07,939 --> 00:03:09,119
that would hatch in my mouth,
106
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,220
but get this, right, apparently
they come from a tree.
107
00:03:12,219 --> 00:03:14,799
(upbeat music)
108
00:03:26,008 --> 00:03:28,588
(phone chimes)
109
00:03:29,765 --> 00:03:31,895
(door clacks)
110
00:03:31,897 --> 00:03:33,527
- I'm so gonna be there on Thursday
111
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:35,240
to watch you losers get destroyed.
112
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,610
- What, who told you?
113
00:03:36,610 --> 00:03:37,440
- It's out there.
114
00:03:37,443 --> 00:03:39,713
Twitter, Facebook, everybody knows.
115
00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:41,080
Thursday, 4:00 p.m. at the rec.
116
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,110
Tampax United versus The Men!
117
00:03:43,112 --> 00:03:44,472
- It wasn't my idea.
118
00:03:44,472 --> 00:03:45,852
It was Holli's idea--
- Tai's just asked me
119
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,170
to hide your sports bra
120
00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:49,190
so he can watch your
boobs bounce up and down.
121
00:03:49,190 --> 00:03:50,020
But I won't, obviously.
122
00:03:50,023 --> 00:03:51,403
That's just wrong, man.
123
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,380
- You better not be texting
your mates about my boobs,
124
00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:55,320
especially if you don't
want it spread round
125
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,520
the whole school that you bum cats.
126
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:58,350
- Bum cats?
127
00:03:58,353 --> 00:03:59,283
What?
(Anna chuckles)
128
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,200
- Christ, Viva, what made
you think you could compete
129
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,350
against the boys' team?
130
00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:06,670
- Look, it was not my idea!
131
00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:08,010
- You lot are fine for girls,
132
00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:09,690
but compared to the boys, you're shit.
133
00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:11,160
I mean, they could beat
you with half a team
134
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,360
and a baby squid in goal.
135
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,520
- Yeah, well, you're our coach,
136
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,630
so if we're that shit,
maybe it's your fault.
137
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,990
- No, I don't think it's
my fault you're shit.
138
00:04:17,985 --> 00:04:20,915
(phone rings)
139
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,360
- Hello?
140
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,610
Yeah. Hi, Dad.
141
00:04:24,474 --> 00:04:28,044
Yeah, yeah, we are but, it wasn't my idea!
142
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,400
God, and I'm proper sick of everyone,
143
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,920
including your girlfriend,
putting me down!
144
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,010
- I'll be the ref if you like.
145
00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:35,200
- Sorry, Dad, there's a noise in my ear!
146
00:04:35,203 --> 00:04:37,293
- [Jamie] Dad, she said that I bum cats.
147
00:04:37,293 --> 00:04:38,133
- You know what?
148
00:04:38,126 --> 00:04:39,476
I'm gonna ask Mr. Philips for help
149
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,570
because Mr. Philips trains the boys' team,
150
00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:44,300
so Mr. Philips must be a proper coach.
151
00:04:44,298 --> 00:04:46,298
Unlike you!
152
00:04:46,295 --> 00:04:48,735
(loud slam)
(upbeat rock music)
153
00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:49,790
(loud slam)
I like to treat myself
154
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,520
to a big old storm out now and then.
155
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,790
I feel I owe it to myself as a teenager.
156
00:05:02,585 --> 00:05:03,495
- Et voila.
157
00:05:05,446 --> 00:05:07,226
- So many toppings.
158
00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:08,280
- Dough balls.
159
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,680
- It's like heaven.
160
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,180
- There must be a catch.
161
00:05:11,184 --> 00:05:12,024
- Amber.
162
00:05:12,017 --> 00:05:13,597
Hi.
163
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,900
- Uh, I've brought my friends.
164
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,130
John said I could.
- Yeah.
165
00:05:16,126 --> 00:05:16,956
Cool.
166
00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:18,069
Come on in, guys.
167
00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:20,060
I'm Jenny, please, um.
168
00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:22,120
Yeah, help yourself to....
169
00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:28,070
- You do realize this isn't a pizza club?
170
00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:28,900
- What is it, then?
171
00:05:28,903 --> 00:05:31,583
- There are a few clues, Amber.
172
00:05:31,577 --> 00:05:34,577
(slow guitar music)
173
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,742
- That song's a bit of a giveaway.
174
00:05:37,743 --> 00:05:40,193
♪ Jesus wasn't stuck up ♪
175
00:05:40,191 --> 00:05:43,631
♪ Till he was stuck up on the cross ♪
176
00:05:43,631 --> 00:05:46,531
♪ Jesus, you're my leader ♪
177
00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:48,933
♪ Jesus, you're the boss ♪
178
00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:50,614
- They use the pizza as
bait to get you in here!
179
00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:53,310
- It isn't the pedos, is it?
180
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:54,630
- It's the Christians.
181
00:05:54,630 --> 00:05:55,460
- Oh, yeah.
182
00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:56,993
I always get them two muddled up.
183
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,860
What's them others I get confused?
184
00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:01,280
Osama, Obama, the Dalai Lama.
185
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,800
Which one is the American President?
186
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,720
- Come on, Amber, we've
been through this before.
187
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,260
- I know, but I'm upset.
188
00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:09,020
You can't expect me to
remember world politics.
189
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,550
Since Brandon got Charlie pregnant
190
00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:11,770
that's all I can think about.
191
00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:13,370
It takes up my entire brain.
192
00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:14,780
- Yeah, I can believe that.
193
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,386
- Have they tried to talk
to you about religion?
194
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:18,880
- No, never.
195
00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:22,430
There is this one bit at the
end where they all stand up
196
00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:25,590
and say sad random stuff about
how they feel lost and alone,
197
00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:26,810
but that's normally when I start looking
198
00:06:26,810 --> 00:06:28,770
for the hot chocolate.
- Oh, my God.
199
00:06:28,770 --> 00:06:29,600
There's hot chocolate?
200
00:06:29,603 --> 00:06:31,053
I'm staying for that.
201
00:06:31,053 --> 00:06:32,723
- Badges, what's up?
202
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:34,772
- [Saz] Mm-hm.
203
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:36,910
- You're a Christian.
204
00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:38,120
- Yeah, big time.
205
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,120
- Didn't realize.
206
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,220
- Church of St. Pizza.
207
00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:42,830
So, you ready for Thursday?
208
00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:43,910
Football?
209
00:06:43,910 --> 00:06:45,790
- You didn't take all that shit seriously?
210
00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:47,050
- You can't get out of it now.
211
00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:48,210
You challenged us.
212
00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:49,850
- Yeah, well, not me.
213
00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:54,170
- [Rocky] So, what's your name?
214
00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:55,120
- Viva.
215
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,520
- Rocky.
216
00:06:56,523 --> 00:06:57,553
- Is that your real name?
217
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,500
- Nah, 'cause I'm a fighter, innit?
218
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,330
- Oh, you're that Rocky.
219
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:02,123
There's a rumor going
around that you killed
220
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,920
that one-armed guy from the kebab shop.
221
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,100
- Yeah, yeah, that was me.
222
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:05,930
I didn't actually kill him.
223
00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:08,493
I just hurt him quite bad
with some chili sauce.
224
00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,130
- So you've got anger management issues?
225
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,260
- Nah, just kebab issues.
226
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:14,410
Oh, you want some dough balls?
227
00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:15,910
- [Holli] Oi, Viva.
228
00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:16,740
Check it.
229
00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:19,550
I'm Jesus.
230
00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:21,900
- So, when you hurt that
one-armed kebab guy,
231
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,190
was it because you were experiencing
232
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:24,890
some kind of uncontrollable rage?
233
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:26,180
- No, not really.
234
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,140
I was just insanely drunk.
235
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:29,490
But I'm, like, a good boy now.
236
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,530
I channel all my aggression
into my football.
237
00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:32,580
- Yeah?
238
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:33,750
Me too.
239
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,990
- Listen, do you want to
come to a party tonight?
240
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:38,690
It's just gonna be me, my
boys, some select people.
241
00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:40,560
Keeping it on the down low.
242
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,990
- My dad's really funny about me going out
243
00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:42,880
on a school night.
244
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,210
- Aw, there's nothing to be scared of.
245
00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:45,170
You can bring your crew.
246
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,293
- Who?
247
00:07:46,293 --> 00:07:48,963
(loud grunting)
248
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:52,360
Oh, my crew?
249
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,420
Yeah. Sure.
250
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:54,560
- Give me your number.
251
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,390
- [Viva] Okay.
252
00:07:56,490 --> 00:07:59,190
- That greedy bitch stuffed
all the ham and pineapple!
253
00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:05,360
Hope you ain't trying to
back out of the match.
254
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,330
- No, can't hardly wait.
255
00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:08,850
- Yeah, I wouldn't get too excited
256
00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:10,440
'cause we're gonna smash you to a pulp.
257
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,480
We're basically gonna make
you into a boy smoothie,
258
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,900
and I ain't even joking.
259
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:14,990
- Shut up, Holli.
260
00:08:14,993 --> 00:08:17,913
- Later.
261
00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:19,170
- What is wrong with you, Holli?
262
00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:20,580
The girls' team can't win.
263
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,980
- Okay, okay, but give me
one good reason why not.
264
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,000
- Because of basic human anatomy.
265
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,470
Why are there different
events at the Olympics
266
00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:27,740
for men and women?
267
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:30,420
- 'Cause there's a conspiracy
to keep the sisters down!
268
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,092
- We're gonna be massively humiliated.
269
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:35,000
- Viva, Mrs. Pankhurst is
watching you from her grave
270
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,690
and she's very fucking
disappointed with your attitude!
271
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,500
- [Viva Voiceover] Rocky's
clearly a really screwed up guy
272
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,280
with some mental health problems.
273
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,640
In a fucked up sort of way,
that makes him extra hot.
274
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,550
- [Saz] Do you like him?
275
00:08:49,550 --> 00:08:51,360
- He's interesting.
276
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,670
- You do like him.
277
00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:54,000
- You shagged him yet?
278
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,650
- Yes, on top of the pizza table
279
00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:57,400
while they were singing
that song about Jesus.
280
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,130
- No, I mean, people sometimes
find a way at school.
281
00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:01,410
There's places no one goes,
282
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,960
cupboard, back of the
library, the quiet study area,
283
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,850
where shagging can be done.
284
00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:06,880
I've heard.
285
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,720
- No, I haven't shagged him yet.
286
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,600
- And I've met a boy who really likes me.
287
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,660
- Yeah, if you don't start
sexing up some boy soon,
288
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:14,980
you're gonna get a bad reputation.
289
00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:17,450
- Yeah, boys will think you're a fridge.
290
00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:18,370
Do I mean fridge?
291
00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:20,320
- Said I've met a boy who really likes me.
292
00:09:20,317 --> 00:09:21,287
- No, you mean frigid.
293
00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:23,470
And I don't think anyone
thinks I'm frigid.
294
00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:24,730
- Well, yeah, Brandon does.
295
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,370
He thinks you're well frigid.
296
00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:27,640
- Hello?!
297
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:28,650
Can anyone hear me?!
298
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:31,450
I said I've met a boy who really likes me!
299
00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:32,740
Yeah, me!
300
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:33,950
A boy likes me!
301
00:09:33,953 --> 00:09:35,383
A really hot boy likes me.
302
00:09:35,377 --> 00:09:36,517
- Are you sure?
303
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,350
- Yeah.
- You shagged him?
304
00:09:37,353 --> 00:09:39,013
- No.
- So, who is he?
305
00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:40,330
- Is he that boy from geography,
306
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,900
can fit a whole orange in his mouth?
307
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,930
- No, why would it be him?
308
00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:44,758
- I don't know.
309
00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:46,001
I thought it might be.
310
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,600
I tried to do that thing
with an orange once,
311
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,010
but it got stuck and I couldn't breathe
312
00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,120
and I thought I was gonna die,
313
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,560
and the guy from behind the meat counter
314
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,110
had to get it out with his pen.
315
00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:56,580
- So, tell us all the details.
316
00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:57,610
Name, age--
317
00:09:57,610 --> 00:09:58,890
- Size of his apparatus.
318
00:09:58,887 --> 00:09:59,717
- His name's Jackson.
319
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,340
He doesn't come from round here, though.
320
00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:02,430
I met him through my cousin.
321
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,470
- Bring him to the party.
322
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,820
- Yeah, bring him.
323
00:10:04,816 --> 00:10:05,916
- Yeah, bring him.
324
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,570
I never thought you'd have a boyfriend.
325
00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:08,820
We thought you was gay.
326
00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:09,920
- No, we didn't.
327
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:10,910
- Well, yeah, we did.
328
00:10:10,912 --> 00:10:12,492
- No, we didn't.
- So, you're gonna bring him?
329
00:10:12,490 --> 00:10:14,260
- [Viva] Yeah, we'd like to meet him.
330
00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:15,577
- You thought I was gay?
331
00:10:15,577 --> 00:10:16,677
- No.
- No.
332
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,060
- Course not.
- No, course not.
333
00:10:18,061 --> 00:10:18,891
- No.
334
00:10:18,894 --> 00:10:21,094
No, we definitely didn't
think you was gay.
335
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,670
- Well, he won't be able to come, anyway.
336
00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:24,700
He has to help his brother.
337
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,060
- He's got a brother?
- Yeah.
338
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:26,960
- You shagged him?
339
00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:31,070
- [Viva] Let's all get
ready at my house tonight.
340
00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:34,316
("Love Me" by Stooshe)
341
00:10:36,611 --> 00:10:38,451
(laughing)
342
00:10:38,452 --> 00:10:40,562
- So, you think she should?
343
00:10:40,561 --> 00:10:41,421
And you think she shouldn't?
344
00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:43,040
- Yup.
- So it's all down to me?
345
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,970
I've got the deciding
vote, like Simon Cowell?
346
00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:46,620
- I think I can decide for myself
347
00:10:46,617 --> 00:10:48,687
if I want to shag Rocky or not.
348
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,010
- I bet you want to.
349
00:10:50,010 --> 00:10:51,440
- Bits of me are very keen.
350
00:10:51,435 --> 00:10:53,685
(laughing)
351
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:59,200
- We look like four skanky Barbies.
352
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,670
- Or a dodgy girl group
aimed at six-year-olds.
353
00:11:01,669 --> 00:11:03,549
- I just love pink.
354
00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:05,543
- I'm not really sure
about this top, Amber.
355
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,550
- Oh, don't worry, you'll be fine.
356
00:11:07,547 --> 00:11:12,487
Last time I wore that, I
had the best sex of my life.
357
00:11:12,489 --> 00:11:14,909
(all scream)
358
00:11:16,037 --> 00:11:19,167
♪ Oh, oh, oh, turn it up and I'll go ♪
359
00:11:19,165 --> 00:11:21,935
♪ 'Cause I won't need you no more, no ♪
360
00:11:21,938 --> 00:11:23,568
♪ Whoa ♪
361
00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:26,677
♪ Your place, fine, but
I ain't got the time ♪
362
00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:31,084
♪ Why don't you hurry up, yeah,
hurry up, yeah, hurry up ♪
363
00:11:31,078 --> 00:11:32,518
♪ Love me ♪
364
00:11:32,523 --> 00:11:34,613
(laughs)
365
00:11:36,708 --> 00:11:37,778
- Obviously, there was nothing else
366
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,170
I could do after he said that.
367
00:11:39,170 --> 00:11:40,760
No one talks about my mum, innit?
368
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:41,600
So I hit him.
369
00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:44,450
- This was your dad?
370
00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:45,890
- Lucky for him.
371
00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:47,220
I only hurt him a little bit.
372
00:11:47,224 --> 00:11:48,664
He can still walk, you know what I mean?
373
00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:50,795
- Don't know why you keep
boasting about hurting people.
374
00:11:50,803 --> 00:11:52,493
It's like you're trying to impress me.
375
00:11:52,493 --> 00:11:55,103
- Ooh, right, I get
it, you're a good girl.
376
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,000
- No.
377
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,020
- Yes, you are.
378
00:11:57,020 --> 00:12:00,360
I bet you ain't never done
nothing naughty your whole life.
379
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,460
- You don't know me.
380
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:05,010
Done loads of mad psycho stuff.
381
00:12:05,013 --> 00:12:08,353
("Rude Boy" by Rihanna)
382
00:12:12,321 --> 00:12:14,011
- If you're so crazy bad, yeah,
383
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,850
how come you ain't never
popped up on my radar
384
00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:16,820
with your mad shit?
385
00:12:16,824 --> 00:12:17,774
- I dunno, bruv.
386
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,660
Maybe your radar's busted, innit?
387
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:22,260
Or maybe it's tuned at a
less mad level than I'm at.
388
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:27,200
- You know, I'm getting a
stupendously massive hard-on
389
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,250
looking at your eyes.
390
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,650
- My eyes?
391
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,480
So not my tits, then?
392
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,890
- Yeah, your eyes.
393
00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:35,080
I'm romantic.
394
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:39,150
But don't worry, your tits
are not hurting the situation.
395
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:41,320
- Ah, great 'cause my
tits are getting a hard-on
396
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,620
just looking at your eyes as well.
397
00:12:43,615 --> 00:12:44,865
(chuckles)
398
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,106
- What?
399
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:46,953
What?
400
00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,360
♪ Come here, rude boy,
boy, can you get it up ♪
401
00:12:54,361 --> 00:12:56,781
♪ Come here, rude boy,
boy, is you big enough ♪
402
00:12:56,780 --> 00:13:00,570
♪ Take it, take it, baby,
baby, take it, take it ♪
403
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:01,580
- That was hot.
404
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,410
- Yeah.
405
00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:04,613
I don't think you're head
girl material after all.
406
00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:05,520
- No way, man.
407
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,280
Fuck that shit!
408
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,790
- You wanna go somewhere more private?
409
00:13:08,790 --> 00:13:09,810
- Definitely.
410
00:13:09,810 --> 00:13:11,310
That's what I'm talking about.
411
00:13:12,470 --> 00:13:16,170
Me and him are going upstairs
to bang each other's tits off.
412
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,250
- Uh, does he know
you've only done it once?
413
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,160
- Shh!
414
00:13:19,161 --> 00:13:21,611
♪ Relax, let me do it how I wanna ♪
415
00:13:21,613 --> 00:13:24,863
♪ If you got it, I need
it and I'ma put it down ♪
416
00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:26,330
- I can hear a sort of rhythmic thumping.
417
00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:28,313
I think it must be Viva's head
418
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:30,270
banging against the headboard.
419
00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:31,570
They're really going at it.
420
00:13:31,566 --> 00:13:33,546
(loud thumping)
421
00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:35,000
Yeah!
422
00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:37,243
He is proper doing her!
423
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,030
- That's the bass from the music.
424
00:13:39,032 --> 00:13:40,632
- Oh.
425
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:41,660
Now I can hear laughing.
426
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:44,300
- Maybe he can't get hard,
and she's taking the piss.
427
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,530
That's what I'd do if
a boy can't get hard.
428
00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,520
- I think he just said she looks gorgeous.
429
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,330
I think he really likes her.
430
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,980
- Jackson thinks I'm gorgeous.
431
00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:53,100
See the bracelet he got me?
432
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,540
26 pounds from Argos.
433
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:55,370
- Did he really?
434
00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:59,640
- Brandon got me a diamond bracelet once.
435
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,010
12.99 from Asda.
436
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,110
I don't think it was real diamonds.
437
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:07,390
- And you've got your ASBO
bracelet, haven't you, Holls?
438
00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:08,300
(chuckles)
439
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,130
Joking.
440
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,340
- I'm gonna go back to the drinks.
441
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:12,940
Text me if you hear any humping.
442
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:18,140
- Wait.
443
00:14:19,487 --> 00:14:21,107
Do you want me to give you a lap dance?
444
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,260
- Yeah?
445
00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:23,090
Why not?
446
00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:34,963
(loud clack)
447
00:14:34,955 --> 00:14:38,015
(loud thud)
(loud clattering)
448
00:14:38,023 --> 00:14:39,203
You all right?
449
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,500
- Oh, God, what am I doing?
450
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,330
- What's up?
451
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,807
- I'm not really mad and psycho.
452
00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:47,990
I'm a good girl.
453
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:49,910
Motivated at school, check.
454
00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:52,020
Wanna go to uni, check.
455
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,660
I'm not a neek, or nothing.
456
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,830
- So, you're not gonna bang my tits off?
457
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:57,660
- No.
458
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:01,240
- So, what's with the big acts?
459
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,770
Pretending to be psycho-slut?
460
00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:06,796
- I don't know, it's just,
you know when people judge you
461
00:15:06,802 --> 00:15:08,072
and they put you in a
box and then they say
462
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:09,650
that you're something, and you're not?
463
00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:10,480
I hate that.
464
00:15:10,483 --> 00:15:12,113
- Yeah, me too.
465
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:14,330
Sometimes, people think I'm thick
466
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,060
'cause I didn't pass any exams,
467
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:19,590
and that I'm violent just
'cause I hit lots of people.
468
00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:21,050
That's annoying.
469
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:21,880
- Must be.
470
00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:24,370
So do you mind if...
471
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:26,700
Not doing it?
472
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:27,530
- Mind?
473
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:29,860
There's no challenge if a girl gives it up
474
00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:31,100
the first time I try.
475
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,270
- So, if I had done it,
you'd think I was a slag?
476
00:15:33,270 --> 00:15:35,990
- Well, it would've been nice, but yeah.
477
00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:38,490
But you didn't, so you're not a slag.
478
00:15:39,383 --> 00:15:40,583
- That is wrong.
479
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:42,640
Boys shouldn't think
about girls like that.
480
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,270
Going back to my mates.
481
00:15:44,272 --> 00:15:46,412
- Aw, this isn't gonna end here.
482
00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:48,140
No way, this is a destiny thing.
483
00:15:48,138 --> 00:15:49,128
(door slams)
484
00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:51,305
(sighs)
485
00:15:51,305 --> 00:15:52,735
- "A destiny thing."
486
00:15:52,737 --> 00:15:54,487
- "Destiny thing."
487
00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:55,970
- What the fuck is that?
488
00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:57,970
- He's basically saying
that me and him are, like,
489
00:15:57,970 --> 00:15:59,230
written in the stars.
490
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,430
- I used to think me and Brandon
were fated to be together,
491
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:03,990
but now I'm not so sure.
492
00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:05,100
It's like in Eminem's song,
493
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,937
"that's what happens when
a tornado meets a volcano."
494
00:16:07,940 --> 00:16:09,450
- What, you and him?
495
00:16:09,453 --> 00:16:11,213
A tornado and a volcano?
496
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:12,040
Which one are you?
497
00:16:12,043 --> 00:16:14,453
- Oh, my God.
498
00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:15,710
Oh, my God, shit!
499
00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:19,370
The boys' football team are, like,
500
00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,580
amazingly good at football.
501
00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:22,753
Why did you let me challenge
them to a football match?
502
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,380
- What?!
- They're incredible!
503
00:16:24,382 --> 00:16:25,432
Look at their skills!
504
00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:26,310
We've got to cancel.
505
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,570
- Well, we can't cancel now.
506
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,790
We'll just look like idiots.
507
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:29,970
- That's right.
508
00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:30,812
Amber?
509
00:16:30,805 --> 00:16:32,165
- I think I'm the tornado.
510
00:16:32,173 --> 00:16:34,693
And Brandon's the volcano.
511
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:35,520
I'm starved.
512
00:16:35,523 --> 00:16:36,513
Pizza club?
513
00:16:36,514 --> 00:16:38,214
- No, does my head in when they sing.
514
00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:39,250
- [Holli] Could you get me a slice of ham
515
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:40,400
and pineapple, Amber?
516
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,670
- Yeah, you'd better write this down.
517
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:42,690
I'll have a margherita.
518
00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:43,780
- Peperami for me.
519
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,010
Not writing it down.
520
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:47,090
- I don't think I should.
521
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,280
I don't think God would like me to steal.
522
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,800
- [Holli] She's been brainwashed.
523
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:51,651
(laughing)
- No.
524
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:53,910
I've just decided to walk with Christ.
525
00:16:53,910 --> 00:16:55,830
- Three pizzas and you're a Christian?
526
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:56,660
- Yeah.
527
00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:58,823
And I'm supposed to talk to
all my friends about the Bible,
528
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,320
make you lot Christians too.
529
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,270
- What, us?
530
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,470
- Yeah.
531
00:17:02,470 --> 00:17:04,630
So, you don't want to talk
about the Bible with me?
532
00:17:04,630 --> 00:17:06,200
- No, thanks.
533
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,300
- Well, good, 'cause
all the non-Christians
534
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,130
who just come for the pizza
535
00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:11,533
are getting too much of the food!
536
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,111
(upbeat music)
537
00:17:21,097 --> 00:17:22,387
- Where's Jackson?
538
00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:23,560
Is he coming to support you?
539
00:17:23,557 --> 00:17:24,947
- No, Jackson couldn't come.
540
00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:25,776
- Is that because he's made up?
541
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,859
- Excuse me.
(loud thud)
542
00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:28,990
- [Holli] Hey, chunks, come here!
543
00:17:28,990 --> 00:17:31,580
- Holli says that Rocky's
been banging a load of slags,
544
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:33,030
and Saz says he's dumb,
545
00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:35,100
but I bet she wouldn't say
that if she talked to him.
546
00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:37,803
I mean, why do people say these things?
547
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,780
Well confused.
548
00:17:40,330 --> 00:17:41,950
Amber, you even listening?
549
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:43,190
- Yeah, of course I am.
550
00:17:43,185 --> 00:17:45,005
You said Rocky's dumb and likes slags.
551
00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:47,630
- No, I said, oh, never mind.
552
00:17:47,630 --> 00:17:49,070
- Any tips for us, miss?
553
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:50,110
- I'm the ref, Holli.
554
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,360
I'm impartial.
555
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,750
- Yeah, but you're on our
side, really, aren't you?
556
00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:54,910
- You want a tip?
557
00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:57,050
You know how we normally
play two, two, two?
558
00:17:57,050 --> 00:17:57,920
Forget that.
559
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,420
Just put everyone in defense.
560
00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:02,270
And don't underestimate the keeper.
561
00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,020
I know he's got bigger
boobs than most of us,
562
00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:05,950
but he can save anything.
563
00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:07,570
- He probably won't need to.
564
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:08,730
- No, I'd say your only chance
565
00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:10,420
is to get their team sent off.
566
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,160
- [Viva] Okay, this is it.
567
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:12,990
Team hug.
568
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:15,370
- Oh, I just want you all to know
569
00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:18,210
that I went to church yesterday
and I spoke to the vicar,
570
00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:20,270
and he said he would pray
for us, so we should be okay.
571
00:18:20,274 --> 00:18:21,534
(whistles)
572
00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:22,470
- [Anna] Come on, ladies.
573
00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:23,670
They're waiting for you.
574
00:18:25,026 --> 00:18:27,286
(upbeat music)
575
00:18:27,294 --> 00:18:28,714
Good luck, girls.
576
00:18:30,144 --> 00:18:32,394
(whistles)
577
00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:49,733
(whistles)
578
00:19:05,341 --> 00:19:07,671
(loud slap)
579
00:19:26,795 --> 00:19:29,095
- Next time, Holli, just
keep your mouth shut!
580
00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:30,324
- [Amber] I can't understand it!
581
00:19:30,324 --> 00:19:32,794
The vicar must've lied when
he said he'd pray for us!
582
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:35,700
- [Viva] Well, I can hold
my head up. I scored.
583
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,646
(phone beeps)
584
00:19:37,650 --> 00:19:40,900
I just think it was really
sweet of Rocky to help me score.
585
00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:45,720
I mean, I know it was
to get into my pants.
586
00:19:47,242 --> 00:19:49,512
- I didn't want you to
lose to zero, innit?
587
00:19:49,514 --> 00:19:51,434
I wanted to see you smile.
588
00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:52,890
- What's your real name?
589
00:19:52,890 --> 00:19:53,940
- Romario.
590
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,420
He was some footballing
legend back in the day.
591
00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:02,940
- Whoa, Romario.
592
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,230
You're getting naked?
593
00:20:04,230 --> 00:20:05,060
- Enjoy.
594
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,940
What's all this bling, anyway?
595
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,680
- Well, that's anti-bullying council,
596
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,420
citizenship champion, peer
mentor, peer listener,
597
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,580
and that's just something I got free
598
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,600
from a box of cornflakes.
599
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,430
- Right.
600
00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:18,383
- Got so many scars.
601
00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:19,615
What's that one?
602
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,080
- Uh, hit by lightning.
603
00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:22,155
- For real?
604
00:20:22,157 --> 00:20:22,987
And that one?
605
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:25,610
- Uh, gunshot wound, pretty standard.
606
00:20:25,610 --> 00:20:28,430
Uh, shark bite, that's a long story.
607
00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:29,810
- Really?
608
00:20:29,807 --> 00:20:30,707
What are they all?
609
00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:35,680
- My dad was not a good guy.
610
00:20:35,677 --> 00:20:36,727
- Your dad did these?
611
00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:38,999
Oh, my God.
612
00:20:41,052 --> 00:20:42,402
- No!
613
00:20:42,397 --> 00:20:43,677
Not really.
614
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:44,520
Your face.
615
00:20:45,801 --> 00:20:46,801
I don't really like talking about it
616
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,120
'cause the truth's kind of embarrassing.
617
00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:52,370
Basically, when I was younger,
618
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,565
I was savaged by my nan's cat.
619
00:20:56,568 --> 00:20:57,948
(laughs)
620
00:20:57,947 --> 00:20:58,787
- A cat did these?
621
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,360
- It was a massive fucking cat, yeah!
622
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,460
It was more like a puma.
623
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:04,950
I could have taken it out,
624
00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:07,660
but it was my nan's only friend, so.
625
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,280
- I really believed you about your dad.
626
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,180
- I'm a good liar.
627
00:21:12,290 --> 00:21:14,450
If I'd kept on with the lie about my dad,
628
00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:16,370
could've got you to do it with me.
629
00:21:16,370 --> 00:21:21,290
I mean, proper do it, but
I respect you too much.
630
00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:22,810
- Don't respect me too much.
631
00:21:28,430 --> 00:21:31,010
(upbeat music)
632
00:21:42,588 --> 00:21:43,898
(gasps)
633
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,800
- What's wrong?
634
00:21:45,795 --> 00:21:48,175
- Can't hold my breath that long.
635
00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:49,055
How d'you do it?
636
00:21:49,064 --> 00:21:50,174
- You don't have to hold your breath.
637
00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:52,510
Can just breathe through
your nose, you know?
638
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,980
You ain't never kissed no one before?
639
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,730
- Yeah, course I have.
640
00:21:57,727 --> 00:21:59,177
- You okay, yeah?
641
00:21:59,181 --> 00:22:00,411
Do we need an ambulance?
642
00:22:00,409 --> 00:22:01,419
- No, I'm fine.
643
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:02,920
Just got to go home.
644
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,700
- Yeah, 'cause you're
scared you can't hold out
645
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:06,820
against the power of this.
646
00:22:06,818 --> 00:22:09,718
(upbeat pop music)
647
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,180
- [Viva Voiceover] A girl's
gotta say no at least twice,
648
00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:14,160
especially with a guy like Rocky.
649
00:22:14,157 --> 00:22:15,997
(door thuds)
650
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,310
But I really, really like him.
651
00:22:17,307 --> 00:22:19,287
(car horn beeps)
652
00:22:19,290 --> 00:22:20,730
- So, you ain't shagged him?
653
00:22:20,727 --> 00:22:22,087
I bet he's good at it.
654
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,130
- How can you tell?
655
00:22:23,130 --> 00:22:25,180
- [Holli] He just looks
like he'd really (grunts).
656
00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:27,860
- We're taking our time,
not rushing into anything,
657
00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:30,010
but, you know, obviously,
I'm gonna shag him.
658
00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:31,860
- I'll have him when you've finished.
659
00:22:33,243 --> 00:22:34,083
And what of Jackson?
660
00:22:34,076 --> 00:22:34,906
You shagged him?
661
00:22:34,909 --> 00:22:36,999
- No, it's not like that with Jackson.
662
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,180
- Yeah, must be really hard
to shag an invisible man.
663
00:22:39,182 --> 00:22:41,802
- Shut up!
- Finding his invisible penis.
664
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,630
Giving him an invisible blow job.
665
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:44,460
- He's real!
666
00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:46,493
- Let's all meet later
at pizza club, yeah?
667
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:49,220
- What, so you can see Rocky again?
668
00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:50,320
- So you can shag him?
669
00:22:51,184 --> 00:22:54,094
♪ Jesus was a cool guy ♪
670
00:22:54,092 --> 00:22:56,762
♪ Jesus had a plan ♪
671
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,690
♪ To make us love each other ♪
672
00:22:59,688 --> 00:23:02,348
♪ Jesus, you're the man ♪
673
00:23:02,351 --> 00:23:04,861
♪ If you ask me who the daddy ♪
674
00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:07,280
- The truth about me and Jackson
675
00:23:08,350 --> 00:23:10,460
is, like, it wasn't right
for me, and I dumped him.
676
00:23:10,460 --> 00:23:11,320
- You made him up.
677
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,670
Admit it.
678
00:23:12,670 --> 00:23:15,740
- 'Cause you was jealous
of Viva having a boyfriend.
679
00:23:15,740 --> 00:23:17,700
- This is all actually quite hurtful.
680
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,350
You're supposed to be my friends!
681
00:23:20,830 --> 00:23:23,890
- Amber, the group thinks
it's time we heard from you.
682
00:23:23,890 --> 00:23:25,380
You've been coming for a while now,
683
00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:27,870
and we'd love to hear
about your journey to God.
684
00:23:39,140 --> 00:23:40,360
- What, now?
685
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,190
- Yeah.
686
00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:43,360
Come up to the mic.
687
00:23:48,820 --> 00:23:50,880
- Hi, everyone.
688
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,760
Uh, Jenny asked me to say a bit
689
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,820
about my, uh, journey to God.
690
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,740
I think it all started
691
00:23:58,740 --> 00:24:01,460
when I took my first bite
of chicken tikka pizza.
692
00:24:01,460 --> 00:24:04,160
I was, like, oh, my God,
this tastes amazing!
693
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,030
Like, almost holy!
694
00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:07,367
I mean, who would have thought
695
00:24:07,366 --> 00:24:09,576
of mixing Italian food and Indian food?
696
00:24:09,580 --> 00:24:11,560
That is just proper genius!
697
00:24:11,559 --> 00:24:13,409
At first, when I come in here,
698
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:16,100
I was, like, seeing all
these Ts and I thought--
699
00:24:16,097 --> 00:24:17,427
- What are you doing here?
700
00:24:17,430 --> 00:24:18,450
- I needed to see you.
701
00:24:18,447 --> 00:24:19,277
- Why?
702
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,200
You got my text, dumping you, right?
703
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,520
- Mum's really angry.
704
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,950
She wants the bracelet back.
705
00:24:23,950 --> 00:24:25,020
- I'm not scared of your mum.
706
00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:26,790
Just piss off.
707
00:24:26,788 --> 00:24:28,728
- Do you want to come round some time
708
00:24:28,730 --> 00:24:29,600
and get your pink hoodie?
709
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:30,710
- You can keep it!
710
00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:31,940
It'll suit you!
711
00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:33,820
- [Amber] And then I realized, no,
712
00:24:33,816 --> 00:24:34,866
it weren't, it was a cross.
713
00:24:34,868 --> 00:24:35,758
- There you go.
714
00:24:35,755 --> 00:24:37,385
He exists, just like I said.
715
00:24:37,390 --> 00:24:38,370
You said he was
716
00:24:38,370 --> 00:24:40,300
a really hot boy.
- Really hot boy.
717
00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:41,400
Is he still in primary school?
718
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,630
- He's 16.
719
00:24:42,630 --> 00:24:44,810
- He's quite cute, though,
like a little dolly.
720
00:24:44,810 --> 00:24:45,900
- Oh, my God.
721
00:24:45,897 --> 00:24:47,747
You didn't shag him, did you?
722
00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:48,790
- The only thing I would suggest
723
00:24:48,790 --> 00:24:50,900
is you're a little less
tight on the mozzarella.
724
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:51,780
I mean, come on, guys.
725
00:24:51,780 --> 00:24:53,340
Pizza needs cheese,
that's just the way it is.
726
00:24:53,340 --> 00:24:58,340
- Amber, um, just a little
reminder, we are Christians.
727
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,490
We're not just about pizza.
728
00:25:00,490 --> 00:25:02,880
- But that's why people come, obviously,
729
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,320
to the pizza club!
730
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:06,720
- It's...
731
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,680
It's not a pizza club.
732
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,830
- Well, it's a club and there's pizza.
733
00:25:10,830 --> 00:25:14,310
- Yeah, but it's not a pizza club.
734
00:25:14,310 --> 00:25:15,530
- Well, it is.
- It's not a bloody
735
00:25:15,534 --> 00:25:16,544
pizza club, all right?!
736
00:25:16,537 --> 00:25:18,887
(speakers squeal)
737
00:25:18,890 --> 00:25:20,920
- But that is why people come.
738
00:25:23,997 --> 00:25:25,837
Do you want me to sing now?
- No.
739
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,110
No, thank you, Amber.
740
00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:29,210
- But I can rap all of
Pass Out by Tinie Tempah.
741
00:25:29,210 --> 00:25:30,360
- Amber, that's fine.
742
00:25:32,710 --> 00:25:35,990
- I'll now continue
talking about my journey.
743
00:25:35,990 --> 00:25:37,160
- Oi, Saz.
744
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,810
- Hey!
(upbeat music)
745
00:25:38,807 --> 00:25:41,147
- Most people think that God is a man
746
00:25:41,146 --> 00:25:43,066
with a big white beard,
747
00:25:43,066 --> 00:25:44,886
bit like Father Christmas,
but in a nightie.
748
00:25:44,892 --> 00:25:45,822
- [Woman] Come here!
749
00:25:45,822 --> 00:25:47,752
(groans)
- Get off!
750
00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:48,937
(yelps)
(loud crash)
751
00:25:48,938 --> 00:25:50,308
- [Amber] Does he have a beard?
752
00:25:50,313 --> 00:25:51,553
Does he shave his beard?
753
00:25:51,547 --> 00:25:52,687
- I'm so sorry.
754
00:25:52,690 --> 00:25:53,520
I didn't mean to--
755
00:25:53,523 --> 00:25:54,833
- [Amber] What does he
shave his beard with?
756
00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:55,870
With a Gillette Mach3?
757
00:25:55,873 --> 00:25:57,753
- Your mum just nearly scalped me.
758
00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:59,680
- She just wants the bracelet back.
759
00:25:59,684 --> 00:26:00,734
(sighs)
760
00:26:00,730 --> 00:26:01,950
- Okay.
761
00:26:01,949 --> 00:26:03,749
Have your stupid bracelet back.
762
00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:07,960
- You are beautiful on the outside.
763
00:26:08,870 --> 00:26:10,340
You just don't have that inner beauty
764
00:26:10,340 --> 00:26:11,940
that I'm looking for in a woman.
765
00:26:15,150 --> 00:26:16,600
- He's got a point.
766
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,240
- Yep.
767
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,020
- I've tried to tell my friends
that religion can help you
768
00:26:21,019 --> 00:26:24,439
if you have a problem,
like my friend Viva.
769
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,370
Viva likes a boy called Rocky,
770
00:26:26,370 --> 00:26:28,470
but Rocky's a dumb idiot
who's always in trouble
771
00:26:28,470 --> 00:26:29,710
and only likes slags.
772
00:26:29,710 --> 00:26:31,730
So, I tried to advise
her, but she wasn't--
773
00:26:31,730 --> 00:26:32,560
- Shut up!
774
00:26:33,445 --> 00:26:34,275
- Amen.
775
00:26:35,384 --> 00:26:37,564
- I didn't say that, she's
got all my words mixed up.
776
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,490
- Whatever order you say
them, those are harsh words.
777
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:42,710
Look, I'll see you around, yeah?
778
00:26:42,710 --> 00:26:43,710
- Rocky.
779
00:26:43,710 --> 00:26:44,860
- I'm too dumb for you!
780
00:26:46,110 --> 00:26:48,060
Stick to girls who are dumb, like me!
781
00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:50,950
- Oh, my God.
782
00:26:50,950 --> 00:26:52,020
Thank you, Amber.
783
00:26:53,212 --> 00:26:54,052
- What?
784
00:26:54,045 --> 00:26:54,875
What'd I do?
785
00:26:57,220 --> 00:26:58,050
- Hot chocolate?
786
00:26:59,087 --> 00:27:02,087
(school bell rings)
787
00:27:07,470 --> 00:27:09,440
- Some good stuff in this book.
788
00:27:09,438 --> 00:27:10,938
It's well violent.
789
00:27:12,387 --> 00:27:15,187
♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
790
00:27:15,186 --> 00:27:17,996
♪ But I say it feels all right ♪
791
00:27:17,998 --> 00:27:22,998
♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪
792
00:27:23,562 --> 00:27:26,682
♪ There's a million things
that I could change ♪
793
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,380
♪ But maybe it's all right ♪
794
00:27:29,380 --> 00:27:32,480
♪ If this is my life, this
is my life, this is my life ♪
795
00:27:32,478 --> 00:27:34,488
♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
796
00:27:34,485 --> 00:27:35,315
♪ It's gonna be fine ♪
797
00:27:35,318 --> 00:27:38,068
♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
798
00:27:38,069 --> 00:27:40,069
♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
799
00:27:40,070 --> 00:27:40,980
♪ It's gonna be fine ♪
800
00:27:40,977 --> 00:27:45,977
♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
55306
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