All language subtitles for Some.Girls.S01E01_English

♪ People keep saying I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ But I say it feels all right ♪

♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪

♪ There's a million things
that I can't change ♪

♪ But maybe it's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause this is my life, this
is my life, this is my life ♪

♪ I really do try ♪
- Hurry up.

You're gonna be late, Viva!

- Some girls, you take one look at them

and you think you know
all about them, right?

Well, look again.

I mean, just 'cause we live on an estate,

we aren't all single
mums with drug problems.

Though, obviously, some of us are.

Hey, Mel!

No way you'd catch me havin' a baby.

Soon as I finish sixth
form, I'll be off to uni.

I might do psychology.
(boy yells)

I mean, I already know loads
of people who are a bit mental.

- Baldie's been up all night,

screamin' his big bald head off.

- Careful, you're droppin' ash on him.

- Whoops, sorry mate.

- Had any breakfast?

(pop music)

That's Mel.

I don't know how she gets
through the day; well, I do.

Cider, mostly.

- Hey.
♪ People keep sayin' ♪

♪ I'm doin' it wrong ♪

- My girl Amber has been my friend since,

well, always, really.

She's proper jokes with no issues.

Unless bein' a bit thick is an issue.

(thudding)

So did you see Brandon last night?

- Oh, yeah, but I'm a bit worried.

It's not the same any more.

When we used to kiss, it was
like this lovely, whooshy,

tingly feeling, straight to my pants,

but now I can't stop
thinkin' what I'm thinkin'.

Like, last night I was thinkin',

how come Brandon's goldfish got so fat?

And then suddenly I felt
Brandon's tongue flickin'

that dangly bit at the back of my throat,

and I was like, oh,
yeah, this is occurring.

- [Viva] See you there.

- What, you think I should dump him?

- Yeah, dump him, what a loser.

- I haven't completely made
up my mind yet, anyway.

I dunno what to do.

What are you all lookin' at?

- [Viva] Did Brandon do that?

- That is well creepy.

- He's even signed it.

- He's got really babyish handwritin'.

Hate boys who don't have
interesting writing.

- Like you've got a massive choice.

Oh, Max from The Wanted, let
me test you on your writing

before I let you bang me.

- Just 'cause you'd do it with anyone

for a packet of Tangfastics.

I value my body a bit higher than that.

- You callin' me easy?

You callin' me easy?
- I didn't say that.

- What did you mean, then?

What did you mean, huh?

Huh?

- [Viva] Holli's violent
outbursts are legendary,

but if she hits someone again,

she'll be permanently excluded,

so she's had to find other
ways to release her aggression.

(clattering)

- But I've never dumped anyone
before, I dunno how to start.

- Just tell him straight.

Hey, bruv, you're a bit too weird for me.

- You could reply to him on your boobs.

Write, it's over, I never
wanna see you again.

PS, You are a creepy weirdo
loser, do you get me?

- If only my boobs were that big.

- Or you could just send him a
text sayin' go fuck yourself.

- Oh no, if I did that he'd get upset,

and when he gets upset he does this thing.

(gentle piano music)

- Just tell him, no messin'
about, I've had enough of you.

- But what if he does the face?

- Punch it.
- What are you doin' here?

Are you waitin' for me?

I can't go bus stop with you today,

I've got football practice.

You'll be all right,
I'll see you tomorrow.

- Who's that?

- Her name's Aliyah.

I'm her mentor 'cause
she's gettin' bullied.

- Poor kid.
- I know.

Some of the Year Seven's in
her class are right bitches.

- I meant havin' you as a mentor.

- [Viva] Saz has got an
interesting personality.

- Do I look disabled?

- [Viva] On the outside,
she's proper sarcastic,

with serious attitude problems.

- Shall I explain it to you again?

- [Viva] but on the inside,

- Keepy-uppies not keepy-downies.

- [Viva] The same.

- Come on, ladies, let's get warmed up.

Here we go, and reach,
and reach, and reach.

Got some great news for you girls.

We're playing Westmount this Friday.

Yes, it's revenge time!

Punchin' out now: punch
and punch and punch.

Now, we all remember what happened

last time we played Westmount.

- I don't like blood, Miss.
- It wasn't that bad, Saz.

- It was, Miss, Haley's head
was like a giant fountain

sprayin' the whole pitch with blood.

- No, the head's an
area that bleeds a lot,

so it looked worse than it was.

- Her nose was broken.

- That's quite bad.
- She still having counseling?

- Yeah, she's gotta get
surgery on her face.

- After what happened, she
kind of had an extra nostril.

- Ugh.
- Stop talkin' about it.

- Shut up!

Forget last year, that was last year.

It was completely different last year.

- Yeah, last year Haley
only had two nostrils.

(girls laugh)

- Viva!

You're not wearing white
socks, that's a detention.

20 press-ups.

- That's not fair, Miss.
- 30 press-ups.

You too, Holli.

And this is what a proper
press-up looks like.

(pop music)

- Bitch, bitch, bitch.

Bitch.

- You heard what they're sayin' about her?

♪ Uh, hey ya ♪

♪ Dee dee ♪

- I'm starving.

- You know where the kitchen is.

- Would it kill you to
get me a snack ready?

- I'm not prepared to take that risk.

You're late tonight.

- Yeah, my stupid Nazi football
coach gave me a detention.

(soft music)

- Are you just gonna sit there
and let her abuse me, Rob?

- No, course not.

Well, actually, I am gonna sit here,

and I'll get back to you on the other one.

- She made me stay behind
to scrub the balls,

for no other reason except to torture me.

For fun.

- They were muddy and sweaty.

- Switty?

What's that?

- Switty.

Switty.

- Sweaty, she's saying sweaty.

- There's a rumor goin'
around that you're pregnant.

Everyone's talkin' about it.

Well, you'll be wantin' to
nip that in the bud, I expect.

Oh, for God's sake, you're
not telling me it's true?

I mean, how?

Why?

We have to listen to endless
lectures about contraception,

and you two can't even...

You're gonna have to get rid of it.

I mean, it's all really easy.

You know, Chanelle had
a termination last month

and she was back in school by dinner time.

I'm gonna text her now, I'll
get the number for the clinic--

- No, no, no, Viva, it was planned.

- Plend?

- It was planned.

Was it?
- Yeah.

We wanted to get pregnant,
and four weeks later

I was ticking it off
my to-do list, oh, yes.

- You didn't really have it
on a to-do list, did you?

- Now a to-do list is a
highly effective tool.

- Does Jamie know?

- No, we were gonna tell
you both this evening.

Jamie, me and Anna are having a baby.

(scoffs)

- Jamie, they're having a baby.

- So?

I'm busy.

- Well, where will it sleep?

- Well first off, the baby
will sleep in our room with us.

- [Rob] And then when you go off to uni--

- Or to work in Poundland
or Micky D's or whatever--

- The baby'll have your room.

- So you're throwing me out?
- No, that will not happen.

- Yes, basically, we will
be needing that room.

- Well why don't I just leave now then?

(comical music)

Yep, that's right.

Miss Bitchcock is my Dad's girlfriend.

I don't know what he
sees in her; well, I do.

(groaning)

They're both proper sex maniacs.

- Oh yes!

(pop music)

- What's happening?

(groaning)

I don't know why my dad
is havin' another kid.

He can't even look after
the ones he's already got.

Luckily, I've got my friends.

He doesn't care about me any more.

All his cares about is his penis

and gettin' his penis into Miss Bitchcock

and humpin' Miss Bitchcock
till she screams.

And his stupid fetus.

(pop music)

Is it okay if I stay here?

- Course.

Do you want one of my mum's tablets?

They're really calming.

(pop music)
(dog barking)

(knocking at door)

- I'm just on my way to Brandon's.

- To dump him?
- To dump him.

- Oh, my God.

- I'm really worried.

- Do you want one of my mum's tablets?

They're really calmin'; Viva's had one.

- Uh, no, I'm all right.

I just wanna practice what I'm gonna say.

- Go on, then, we'll give you
some tips, won't we, Viva?

Viva?

- So he opens the door; you be him, right?

So he answers the door, and I go, hi.

- Hi, sexy.

- We need to talk.
- Don't wanna talk.

I've got the right horn.

Get your tits out, let
me feel those bad boys.

- Shut up, I really need to talk.

- Come on, babe, me mum's
out, let's have a quickie.

- This is so not helping.

- Can I wank on your tits?

- No, I wouldn't let him do that, anyway.

'Cause last time he did it,

a blob of spunk suddenly shot into my eye,

and it really hurt and
it went all bloodshot,

and Mum kept askin',
what's wrong with your eye?

So I had to quickly make up something,

so I pretended a robin flew into it.

- I love robins.

(exhales)

(knocking at door)

Hi.
- Hi, sexy.

Come in, my mum's out,
we've only got 10 minutes.

- [Amber] No.

- You look incredible in that top.

I've been dreamin'
about your tits all day.

I've got the right horn.
- No, Brandon.

- Look, feel this.
- No, Brandon, get off!

I didn't come here for that.

We need to give each other some space.

- Space?

- Yeah, the thing is, my nan's ill,

'cause a beetle crawled inside her ear

and started eating her brain,

and now we have to take turns
remindin' her who she is.

- What, you're dumping me?

- Well, yeah, it's complicated.

My dog's depressed, my
dad doesn't like you,

and I'm really behind on
my textiles coursework.

- So you are dumping me?

- Um, um, yeah.

Yeah, I am.
- Come on, no allow it.

Look, there's no way I'm
gonna let that happen.

- But isn't it up to me?
- No, babe.

You're my girlfriend.

We're good together, you know that, babe.

I just really, really love you.

♪ Aw, yeah ♪

- So we went upstairs
and, you know, did it,

and then his mum came in

and talked to us about
the Bible for a bit,

and then I went home.

- But you don't like him any more.

I've got a match!

I can't go bus stop
with you, I'll be ages.

(tuts) Whatever.

- When we're doin' it,
it's the only chance I get

to have a good think about things.

- Like what?

- My God, everything.

I mentally sort out my hair accessories,

I plan my lipsticks for the next day,

and that fat goldfish
keeps poppin' in my head.

- Please dump him.
- Want me to do it?

I could dump him so he stayed dumped.

- Could you?
- No, she has to do it.

- Have I?
- Come on.

Think of your future,

all the boys and men you'll
go out with and need to dump.

You can't just get Holli,
she might not be available.

She might be in prison by then.

- You what?
- Kidding.

- Why would I be in prison?

- It's the only way you'd
get to see your relatives.

- You what?
- Just think it through.

What are the pros of
sticking with Brandon,

what are the cons?

Weigh it all up and then decide.

- Well, the pros are he's really fit,

so all the other girls are jealous of me.

We both love Ice Road Truckers.

And he makes toast just right,
with the butter on the edges.

- And that's it?

- Well, the cons are he's really fit,

so the other girls are jealous of me

and call me bitch and vandalize my bike.

And Brandon's really jealous.

Like, when I had to turn over my granddad

so he wouldn't get bedsores, he was like,

I'm not happy with you
touchin' another man.

And we both really love sex,
but he loves it nonstop,

so my Minniehaha never
gets a moment's peace.

- Yeah, I'd say the cons
probably outweigh the pros.

- And there is somethin'
else, but I can't tell you.

- Tell us or I'll give you a Chinese burn.

- It's important to share all
the relevant information here,

Amber, so we can help you.

- Okay.

Well, It's the noise he makes

when he, you know, comes.

- Well, what sort of noise is it, exactly?

Squeaky?

Squawky, squidgy?

- Mental?

- Is it like water
going down the plughole?

- No, it's sort of like,

(groans and bleats)

(others laugh)

You should record it on your phone.

- Make it Brandon's ringtone.

- Yeah, give us your phone.
(laughing)

(Amber groans and bleats)

(all bleat)

- What the hell's going on in here?

Everyone else is waiting.

We need to be treating this friendly

like a dress rehearsal for Westmount.

I want you to go out
there and kill them dead.

(groaning and bleating from phone)

(laughing)

(whistle blows)

("Ave Maria" by Schubert)

(thudding)

One-nil. to them!

The worst team in the borough.

I feel like puking.

I feel like puking.

- I don't know how your dad can stand her.

- Nor me.

- She probably takes it up the bum.

It's well known that New
Zealanders are off-the-hook dirty.

She's probably done it with
the wallabies back home.

- Wallabies are from Australia.

- Yeah, yeah, I know.

She flew there to do it with them, innit?

- Would a wallaby do it with a human?

- Your dad is well fit for an old bloke.

I saw him oilin' up his abs one time.

I got a mild tingle in my--

- Please shut up.

- His sperm must be on
Zimmer frames, though.

Eggs, eggs, we're coming, eggs.

Slow down.

- The eggs don't actually go anywhere.

The sperm move towards the eggs.

It's not like a game of It
with the sperm and the eggs

chasin' each other round
the Fallopian tubes.

- Yeah, yeah, I know.

This isn't a biology lesson, is it?

- Did you know that all our
eggs are there from the start?

Like, we have in our bodies
right now all the eggs

we're ever gonna have, half
the recipe for our babies.

Weird.

There's little Keira and Nathan.

That's what I'm calling my babies.

- Alyssia and Rohan.

- Diamante and Tyreis.

- Ashleigh and Poppy, and
Kimberley and Dolphin.

And Angelina and Trinity, who are twins.

I know exactly what they're
all gonna look like.

I'm gonna dress them in
little matchin' outfits.

I'm not havin' no boys, though.

If I have a boy, one of
you lot can have him.

- Dolphin?

- [Amber] Yeah.

- That was poor.

- Well, maybe if you coached us better

we wouldn't be so shit.

- Viva, I expect you to
speak rudely to me at home,

but not here.

Here I'm the head of JK Rowling House,

and I expect you to treat me with respect.

- One, I don't know
what a hid is, and, two,

I feel sorry for you, 'cause
you don't even know my dad.

- I think I know him after two years.

- Yeah, but you still don't
know basic stuff about him,

like the fact that he hates babies.

- No, he doesn't.
- Yes, he does.

Mum said he wouldn't even come
near us till we were three.

He said he was allergic.

- Yeah, but I'm sure that's not--

- And that's just one
of the reasons she left.

- Oh, really?

I thought it was just that she
ran off with another bloke.

- By the way, I'm resigning from the team

and I won't be playing on Friday!

(pop music)

- Viva.

You comin' back to mine again?

(girls shout and argue)

(dog growls)

(laughing)

- Uh, not tonight, Holls.

I need to go somewhere quiet and think.

(swing creaking)

- [Amber] My mum wants me home early

'cause we're dog-sittin'
my uncle's spaniel,

and he keeps trying to make
babies with our greyhound,

and it takes four of
us to pull them apart.

- [Brandon] All right.

Fancy a push?

- [Amber] Nah.

- [Brandon] Do you fancy
givin' me a quick hand job

in the Wendy house?

- [Amber] Nah.

You know what I said the other night?

- Oh, no.

- Yeah.

(gentle piano music)

I'm sorry, it's not you,
it's just, we're different.

I mean, I like sweet
popcorn, you like salt.

I like JLS, you think JLS
are all brain-damaged.

I like holdin' hands and cuddlin',

you like humping really hard

in weird and uncomfortable positions.

- Well if it's about space,

I'll give you your space, I promise.

- No, you won't,

'cause you're really
possessive and jealous.

(phone beeps)

Like normally you'd try and grab my phone

and see who that message was from.

- No, I wouldn't.

Why, who is it from?
- Well I dunno.

- So why aren't you answering it?

- 'Cause I'm talking to you.

- What you tryin' to hide?

Is it about me, is it a boy?

- Oh, my God.

Hey!

- Oh, it's Saz.

- Don't read my private messages.

- Why not?

What's it say?

- Oh, no.

No, no, please, please, don't cry.

- I'm not crying, don't be stupid!

(gentle piano music)

- Oh, God.

Oh, oh, okay, okay, we'll
give it a bit longer.

But you've gotta let me
see my friends sometimes.

- Okay.

- Without you being there as well.

- Fine.
- And don't cry.

And don't write on my body.

And don't call my boobs
Ant and Dec ever again,

'cause that makes it seem like
one's small and one's tall,

and they're not, they're exactly the same.

- All right, no problem.

Can I call 'em Jedward instead?

- I've gotta go now.

- You sure you don't want
to come in the Wendy house?

Just for a minute?

(pop music)

- Hey.

Thanks to Bitchcock, I'm still homeless.

My girls have been helpin' me out.

- This is nice.

(slurping)

Aren't you gonna drink your tea?

- [Viva] But friends aren't
always meant to live together.

♪ Do do do do do do do ♪

♪ Do do do do do do do ♪

- [Amber] Hi, I'm Amber, what's your name?

What's your name?

Use the dolly!

- [Viva] My name's Brandon.

- [Amber] And?

S [Viva] And I think you're really nice.

(Amber squeals)

Then again, the alternative
is Brandon's wankin' house.

- I just can't seem to dump him.

- You have to be tough.

- I don't know how to be tough.

- Like this.

Shut up about Brandon!

If i hear one more word
about that waste man,

I will definitely kill you!

Like that, that's how to be tough.

- Oh.

(doorbell rings)

- [Viva] Yeah, I know,
it seems a bit harsh,

but Amber needs things
expressed loud and clear.

- This has gone on long enough.

You're coming home.
- Just leave me alone.

I don't wanna talk to you.

- What are you so angry about?

- I'm not angry, you big fucking moron.

- Don't you call me a fucking moron.

- (gasps) I can't believe
you're swearing at me.

- You don't want a baby in your room

even if you're not there?

I don't get it.
- You don't get anything.

You know, I wasn't actually that bothered

when you first hooked up with her.

I mean, I thought you'd
just do it with her

a couple of times and then
realize what a bitch she is.

Well I didn't realize
you were gonna shack up

and start a dynasty.

- Sweetheart, I'm sort
of not very good at this.

Fightin' fires, football, I'm good.

But this is out of my comfort zone.

- Well why couldn't you find a woman

who wasn't a teacher at my school?

Anyone would have been
better than her, anyone.

- Come on, let's go home.

What?

Are you gonna live at
your friends' houses?

- [Viva] Okay, I'm comin' home.

(phone vibrates, groaning and bleating)

- What the hell kind of ringtone is that?

(pop music)

Anna.

- [Anna] In here!

- What you doin' in my room?

- This is Viva's room, the baby can wait.

- I'll come back to the team
and I'll play on Friday.

(bass-heavy pop music)

(footsteps rumble)

(knuckles crack)

- Use your skill.

Holli, Viva, are you listening?

Those of you who don't have skill,

and that's the rest of you,
particularly you, Amber,

use your muscle, I mean,
really lay some lumber on them,

especially the one who
looks like Wayne Rooney.

But whatever you do, don't get caught.

- Miss, it's not fair,
some of them is boys.

- Maybe it is Wayne Rooney.

- Oh, you'll be fine, start warming up.

- [Girl] Seriously,
where's her lady lumps?

- We're fucked.

(loud rock music)

(whistle blows)

- Stop fucking falling over!

Good girl, Holli.

Oh, Christ, Holli, buy yourself
a sports bra, would you?

(thudding)

- She hacked me down, that
was a foul, she fouled me.

- I know she fouled you,
the ref's a fuck-tard.

He's probably her dad.
- I'm shaking.

- Okay, we're 3-nil down,
but we can come back.

We need to pass more, mark more.

And, when the ref's not looking,

stamp on the Achilles tendon.

- Amber, don't turn around
but Brandon's comin' over.

(Holly imitates a sheep bleating)

- No, I don't believe this.

I'm not in the mood for this now.

- Can we have a word?

In private?

- I don't know if you've noticed, bruv,

but she's in the middle
of a football match here.

- Brandon, remember what we agreed?

- This won't take a minute.

- I'm seeing you tonight, aren't I?

- I'll talk in front of your
mates if that's what you want.

- Yep.

- That's what she wants.
- Definitely.

- Okay.
- I'm ending it.

- What?
- Us, it's over.

Sorry, but--

- Hang on a minute, what do
you mean you're ending it?

How come?
- Yeah, how come?

- Some little Year Seven's runnin' around

tellin' everyone private details of us.

Like, really personal
stuff about baby Brandon.

- What Year Seven kid,
what are you on about?

- Some girl, I don't
know, but you must know,

seeing as you've told
her everything about me.

Like, really personal stuff,

like about my size and
my shape and my moves.

This shit is private shit.

If a man wants to put on his girl's pants

and film himself fooling around

in the comfort of his own home,

then that's between a man and his girl.

- Honestly, Brandon, I
haven't told no one nothin'.

- No, the trust we had is gone.

I can't believe you even
told them about my noise.

- Seriously, I haven't
told no one nothing.

Except, obviously, I've
told you three everything.

- You didn't tell us he
likes wearing your pants.

- I haven't said nothing.
- Nor me.

- [Amber] So who was it, then?

Oh, that is well strange.

(whistle blows)
- Back on the pitch, girls.

- I feel all churned up and angry.

- I feel angry after what that
Wayne Rooney bitch did to me.

- I'm just always angry.

- Okay, okay, I have a plan.

We need to channel this aggression

into beating the living shit out of them!

(all yell)

(rock music)

(thudding)

(thudding)

(whistle blows)

So I'm learning new stuff all the time.

Such as, my dad sucks at contraception,

Amber still likes dollies,

and helpin' mental kids isn't easy.

But I'm doing my best.

(" Doing It Wrong" by Anita
Blay and Ian Masterson)

♪ What good is life
without a good struggle ♪

♪ Maybe it's in my DNA ♪

- I don't get how come word about Brandon

went round so quick.

I mean, I didn't tell no one.

I know this sounds stupid,
but I really miss him now.

- Yeah, it must be about 30
seconds since you split up.

- Don't be mean, she's really upset.

- You're not gonna cry, are you?

You don't even like him!

(imitates bleating)

(overlapping voices)

- [Amber] Don't!

(all laughing)

♪ People keep saying I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ But I say it feels all right ♪

♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪

♪ There's a million things
that I could change ♪

♪ But maybe it's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause this is my life, this
is my life, this is my life ♪

♪ People keep saying I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ People keep saying I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ People keep saying I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ It's gonna be fine ♪

♪ People keep saying I'm doin' it wrong ♪