All language subtitles for Rick and Morty - 04x07 - Promortyus.KILLERS.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,060 --> 00:00:07,970 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:15,400 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:15,410 --> 00:00:16,940 - Aah, aah! - [SCREECHES] 4 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:22,940 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:24,770 Oh, my God. 6 00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:26,420 Holy [BLEEP]. 7 00:00:26,430 --> 00:00:27,988 - Oh. - What are... What are these things?! 8 00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,059 Do I look like I know? 9 00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:31,140 Last thing I remember, I was, ugh, in a cave 10 00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,460 looking at some wet egg and... Oh, that probably did it. 11 00:00:33,470 --> 00:00:34,880 I told you not to look at that egg! 12 00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:35,929 I-It was too wet. 13 00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:37,408 You don't get to tell me what to look at. 14 00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:38,569 I've seen your Pornhub account. 15 00:00:38,570 --> 00:00:40,169 Also, who makes a Pornhub account? 16 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:42,439 The algorithm learns your preferences better that way. 17 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,468 Plus if you get in kind of a cool enough relationship, 18 00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:46,030 you can sort of follow each other 19 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,439 and check out each other's kinks, you know? 20 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,120 All right, God damn, sold. 21 00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:50,548 - How do we get out of here? - Morty, relax. 22 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,788 They're face-hugging parasites. 23 00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:54,190 I don't think their society's gonna be that hard to navigate. 24 00:00:56,310 --> 00:00:59,519 Okay, yeah, this might be a little harder than I thought. 25 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,438 Holy [BLEEP] They've got an M&M's store. 26 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:08,990 ♪ ♪ 27 00:01:09,010 --> 00:01:16,040 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:22,970 ♪ ♪ 29 00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:29,910 ♪ ♪ 30 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:34,269 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 31 00:01:34,270 --> 00:01:36,270 ♪ ♪ 32 00:01:36,290 --> 00:01:38,750 This is bad, Rick. Th-Th-Th-Th-This is really bad. 33 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,649 Just be cool, Morty. All we gotta do is blend in, 34 00:01:40,650 --> 00:01:42,650 find our ship, and get the [BLEEP] outta here. 35 00:01:43,610 --> 00:01:45,429 All right, Morty, here's the plan, put this back on your face. 36 00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:46,938 I-I'm not putting that back on my face! 37 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,999 - Relax. It's dead. - [SCREECHES] 38 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,520 Okay, now it's dead. 39 00:01:51,530 --> 00:01:53,155 Come on, hurry up. 40 00:01:54,170 --> 00:01:55,610 Rick, i-it's bleeding. 41 00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:56,640 I-It's bleeding acid. 42 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,048 All right, well, that should be the last of it. 43 00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:00,749 If not, then just gimme two tugs on the arm. 44 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:04,340 [SCREAMS] 45 00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:06,280 Seems like a self-destructive life cycle. 46 00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:07,589 Is that gonna happen to us? 47 00:02:07,590 --> 00:02:09,019 You feel an egg in your stomach? 48 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:11,960 - No. - Well, glass half full. 49 00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:13,129 - How's it going? - 'Sup. 50 00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:14,540 - Glory to Glorzo. - Totally. 51 00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:15,709 Love Glorzo. 52 00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:17,350 Glorzo is peace. 53 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,060 Peace is Glorzo. 54 00:02:19,070 --> 00:02:21,369 Wow, just cogs in the machine, y'know? 55 00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:23,169 - Ma-Makes you think... - Yeah, I'm sure you'll make this 56 00:02:23,170 --> 00:02:25,228 into a beautiful short film that your parents'll pay for, 57 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:27,248 Morty, but right now, we really just need to find my ship. 58 00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,759 You sure you're not just jealous? 59 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,070 Looks like I'm kind of a celebrity around here. 60 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,735 GLORZO MORTY: The future is Glorzo! 61 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,238 Oh, my God. I was just reading you. 62 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:38,147 Congratulations on making it into print media. 63 00:02:38,148 --> 00:02:39,237 Real bright future there. 64 00:02:39,238 --> 00:02:41,639 Honestly, it's shocking to see the two of you together. 65 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,639 Because we're both geniuses? 66 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,409 No, because I've seen your videos, 67 00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:46,958 and you make me [BLEEP] sick. 68 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,790 Fix him. 69 00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:52,167 Glory to Glorzo. 70 00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:53,749 Sir, you shouldn't wander off like that. 71 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:54,897 We've been looking all over for you. 72 00:02:54,898 --> 00:02:56,719 The project is ready for your approval. 73 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,419 Sir, is this man bothering you? 74 00:02:58,420 --> 00:02:59,917 Um, no, h-he's fine. 75 00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,827 Uh, what... what project? 76 00:03:01,828 --> 00:03:03,933 Jesus Christ, who the [BLEEP] was I? 77 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:07,657 Here's a scientific fact I'm not allowed to say... 78 00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:11,999 Our hosts are biologically designed to incubate our eggs. 79 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,360 If that "triggers" you, [BLEEP] off. 80 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,847 If it doesn't, please like and subscribe. 81 00:03:15,848 --> 00:03:17,697 New videos every Glorzday. 82 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,339 God, was I at least rich? 83 00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:21,067 I mean, d-d-did I at least sell out 84 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:22,509 and sell vitamins or something? 85 00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:24,047 Rick, I've watched enough Pornhub to know 86 00:03:24,048 --> 00:03:25,519 what a studio apartment looks like. 87 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:26,998 God damn. 88 00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:29,167 Jesus, your Glorzo got [BLEEP] done. 89 00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:32,167 My lord, we await your command. 90 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:35,006 Oh, to... shoot it? A-At people? 91 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,529 Glorzo is peace. 92 00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:38,147 All shall be made Glorzo. 93 00:03:38,148 --> 00:03:39,303 SOLDIERS: Glory to Glorzo. 94 00:03:40,050 --> 00:03:41,539 I... did this? 95 00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:45,299 You and the amazing technology you both brought us. 96 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:46,976 Yeah, makes sense. 97 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:47,979 A-And where was this heading? 98 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:49,009 Earth? Probably Earth? 99 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:50,627 The humans call it "Earth." 100 00:03:50,628 --> 00:03:52,939 Yeah, well, okay, first of all, great work. 101 00:03:52,940 --> 00:03:54,809 You guys obviously put a lot of work into this. 102 00:03:54,810 --> 00:03:56,447 - Okay. - And y'know, it shows. 103 00:03:56,448 --> 00:03:58,437 I-It really shows. But um... 104 00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,897 I-I've been thinking, and, you know, 105 00:03:59,898 --> 00:04:01,282 maybe we should just call this off. 106 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,659 Sorry, is... is there more? 107 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,679 Nope, nope. 108 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,887 I-I guess, uh, that... that's it. 109 00:04:06,888 --> 00:04:09,747 Just don't Glorzo Earth. 110 00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:12,559 Just would've been nice to have heard this sooner 111 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,545 before we spent all day on it. 112 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,464 Yeah, well, I-I'm just hearing about it, too. 113 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:17,829 - You ordered it. - Right. 114 00:04:17,830 --> 00:04:19,417 I-I did, and, um... 115 00:04:19,418 --> 00:04:20,427 I'm just saying for next time, 116 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:22,345 maybe put more thought into it before a whole day of... 117 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,027 Okay, well, I'm sorry I made you do your job for a [BLEEP] day! 118 00:04:25,028 --> 00:04:26,547 You look like you were all really busy 119 00:04:26,548 --> 00:04:27,642 - before I came and [BLEEP] it all up. - Boy, oh, boy, huh? 120 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:30,367 This guy's a genius, but at... but at what price, you know? 121 00:04:30,368 --> 00:04:31,509 Y'know, [BLEEP] you, Rick! 122 00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:33,439 Who's... Rick? 123 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,489 Yeah, well, if we're free to ask questions, 124 00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:38,219 why haven't you blinked, uh, for 20 minutes, 125 00:04:38,220 --> 00:04:41,907 and why, uh, doesn't your mouth move when you talk? 126 00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:45,767 Ah, geez, look at me. 127 00:04:45,768 --> 00:04:47,729 I-I feel down on... on... on the floor. 128 00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:50,199 Oh, let... let me, uh, help... help you out here, buddy. 129 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,333 Ah, thanks, man. Thanks, pal. That's right. 130 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,780 I'm right back where... where... right back in the saddle here. 131 00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:00,739 All right, [BLEEP] it, run. 132 00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:02,468 [GLORZOS SCREECHING] 133 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:08,433 ♪ ♪ 134 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:15,607 ♪ ♪ 135 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:22,707 [GLORZOS SCREECHING] 136 00:05:22,708 --> 00:05:24,817 I-I hate this! I hate all of this! 137 00:05:24,818 --> 00:05:26,269 Yeah, yeah, keep that feedback coming, Morty. 138 00:05:26,270 --> 00:05:27,747 It can only help. 139 00:05:27,748 --> 00:05:32,498 ♪ ♪ 140 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,709 - Oh, [BLEEP] - Aw, man! 141 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,669 How big is this city?! 142 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,979 I know, it's like pick a lane. 143 00:05:37,980 --> 00:05:39,631 Are you face huggers or industrialists? 144 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,089 Damn, feels kinda good when there's no guilt, huh? 145 00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,489 Yeah, it's... it's like in "Star Wars." 146 00:05:46,490 --> 00:05:48,765 Yeah, just like in "Star Wars." Go nuts! 147 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,686 ♪ ♪ 148 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,427 Nice, Morty! Give a little "yee-haw" if you want. 149 00:05:55,428 --> 00:05:57,315 They... They always do a little "yee-haw" like a cowboy. 150 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:58,667 Yee... Yee-ha... Yee-haw. 151 00:05:58,668 --> 00:05:59,859 Good enough. 152 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:07,326 ♪ ♪ 153 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,267 God, I needed this. 154 00:06:11,268 --> 00:06:12,909 Honestly, it's been a while since I've been able 155 00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:14,149 to just let loose, you know? 156 00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:15,787 Just have fun. I'm... I'm... 157 00:06:15,788 --> 00:06:17,418 I'm sorry if I've been taking it out on you. 158 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:19,589 No, I get it. You got a lot on your plate, amigo. 159 00:06:19,590 --> 00:06:20,989 I-I just wish you'd open up 160 00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:22,319 to me more about it sometimes, you know? 161 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:23,466 I-I-I'm your partner. 162 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:25,147 Thanks, Morty. I mean that. Thank you. 163 00:06:25,148 --> 00:06:26,802 Sometimes, I get a little in my head, you know? 164 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,547 Hey, man, that head's a good place to be. 165 00:06:28,548 --> 00:06:30,598 Just remember to let me in sometimes, you know? 166 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,141 Will do, buddy. Mother[BLEEP] 167 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:36,854 ♪ ♪ 168 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,439 Oh, my God, this is so much fun! 169 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,120 - I don't want to stop! - Yeah, it's like popping bubble wrap. 170 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,957 Honestly, I'm proud of us for not. 171 00:06:52,958 --> 00:06:54,319 Totally. It would've been cheap. 172 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,090 Yeah, real low-hanging fruit, and we're batter than that. 173 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,128 Pearl Harbor, on the other hand... 174 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,756 Yeah, I think that's in-bounds. 175 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,867 I am the god of death! 176 00:07:08,868 --> 00:07:10,681 Should've been a better species! 177 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,517 [BOTH LAUGH] 178 00:07:17,518 --> 00:07:19,867 So, you did a 9/11? 179 00:07:19,868 --> 00:07:21,247 Almost did a 9/11. 180 00:07:21,248 --> 00:07:22,787 We... We went with a Pearl Harbor. 181 00:07:22,788 --> 00:07:24,068 We're pretty classy. 182 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,278 Why were either of those an option? 183 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,287 Ask the Saudis. 184 00:07:27,288 --> 00:07:28,597 Wow. Damn. 185 00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:29,819 Yeah, getting political. 186 00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:31,737 I'm political now. How 'bout you, Jerry? 187 00:07:31,738 --> 00:07:33,957 You got anything to add to the family dynamic? 188 00:07:33,958 --> 00:07:36,581 I've been getting into beekeeping lately. 189 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,129 Is something wrong with that? 190 00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:42,377 What's wrong with that? 191 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,922 Don't I have the right to be happy? To exist? 192 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,627 I'm sorry I didn't 9/11 Pearl Harbor 193 00:07:46,628 --> 00:07:48,687 before breakfast, but I have a life, too! 194 00:07:48,688 --> 00:07:50,387 - I have dreams! - And how's Summer? 195 00:07:50,388 --> 00:07:51,596 Did she have fun, too? 196 00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:55,057 Oh. Uh-um. 197 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,847 Summer... was... 198 00:07:56,848 --> 00:07:58,019 With us. 199 00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,449 There. 200 00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:02,022 You saw us take her in the car with us. 201 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,227 - Mm, yes. - Yes, yes, of course. 202 00:08:04,228 --> 00:08:05,407 Th-That's what happened. 203 00:08:05,408 --> 00:08:07,289 - And now she's... - Sleepy. 204 00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:09,427 Um, she's... she's sleepy. 205 00:08:09,428 --> 00:08:10,517 Really sleepy. 206 00:08:10,518 --> 00:08:12,158 - That's why she's not here. - So sleepy. 207 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,497 She's sleepy?! 208 00:08:13,498 --> 00:08:14,647 What the hell was that?! 209 00:08:14,648 --> 00:08:16,887 - I didn't see you trying anything! - [BLEEP] the bed isn't better 210 00:08:16,888 --> 00:08:17,999 than not [BLEEP] the bed! 211 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,374 Where's Summer?! 212 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,754 Geez. Oh, man. 213 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,517 You know, maybe we went too hardcore on these guys. 214 00:08:26,518 --> 00:08:27,687 Yeah, why do you think we never go back 215 00:08:27,688 --> 00:08:28,747 to a place we've already been? 216 00:08:28,748 --> 00:08:30,267 Do you know how many adventures we could get out 217 00:08:30,268 --> 00:08:32,067 of Purge Planet, Morty? Gear World? 218 00:08:32,068 --> 00:08:33,971 I don't sequel. It's called integrity. 219 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,027 Here, put this back on your face. 220 00:08:35,028 --> 00:08:37,309 - You kept it? - Oh, did you want a new one? 221 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,747 - 'Sup? - Yo. 222 00:08:40,748 --> 00:08:42,529 Oh, [BLEEP] It's them! 223 00:08:42,530 --> 00:08:44,717 The worst thing to ever happen to us! 224 00:08:44,718 --> 00:08:45,816 Yeah, that makes sense. 225 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,152 Sorry, Morty, we tried pussin' it. Time to go in hot. 226 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,946 Rickputer, initiate unnecessarily badass suit-up. 227 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:56,244 ♪ ♪ 228 00:08:56,260 --> 00:09:02,334 ♪ ♪ 229 00:09:02,335 --> 00:09:04,085 Let's lick [BLEEP] 230 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:11,347 ♪ ♪ 231 00:09:11,348 --> 00:09:12,687 Shouldn't we be finding Summer? 232 00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:15,089 Oh, right, gee, sorry. I got caught up again. 233 00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,907 God, d-do I need to take more Adderall, 234 00:09:16,908 --> 00:09:18,999 or am I taking too much Adderall? 235 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:25,315 ♪ ♪ 236 00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:28,847 Man, really shouldn't have gone with swords. 237 00:09:28,848 --> 00:09:30,739 I know. My wrists are killing me. 238 00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:32,927 Flame-throwers next time, for sure. 239 00:09:32,928 --> 00:09:34,347 Can I get a laser whip? 240 00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:37,160 Okay, but there's no way you don't chop your dick off. 241 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,455 Sum Sum, come with us if you want to live... 242 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,834 at a lower standard than this, I guess. God damn. 243 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,627 Empress, is everything all right? 244 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,921 Ummm... seize them! 245 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,679 - Seize them?! - What?! 246 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,592 - Summer, you bitch! - You gotta be kidding me! 247 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,760 ♪ Nobody knows the trouble I've seen ♪ 248 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:56,949 You know that song, Rick? 249 00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:58,299 From the... When the prisoners sing it? 250 00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,699 Come on, Morty, for [BLEEP] sake. 251 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,359 It's my jail time. I-I can spend it however I want. 252 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,429 [HARMONICA PLAYING] 253 00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:06,148 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy! Hey, hey, hey! 254 00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:07,260 Not in here! Not in here! 255 00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:09,280 Aw... Gimme that. 256 00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:13,439 Leave us. 257 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,406 What the [BLEEP] took you so long?! 258 00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,366 - You left me here. - We didn't know you were with us! 259 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,243 Do you know how much [BLEEP] I've had to deal with? 260 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,527 You're in a cape, Summer. 261 00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:21,637 How bad could it be? 262 00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:23,747 No bad story ends with a cape. 263 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:27,043 You don't know anything about my story. 264 00:10:27,950 --> 00:10:29,295 "I couldn't help but wonder, 265 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,419 was Gharkhul really capable of consuming a living sun, 266 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:35,259 or was I simply getting too close to Gharkhul? 267 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,907 Was Gharkhul consuming me?" 268 00:10:36,908 --> 00:10:38,427 Rick, can we listen to something else? 269 00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:39,978 Quiet! She's just about to summon Gharkhul. 270 00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:41,840 She's been talking about summoning Gharkhul 271 00:10:41,848 --> 00:10:43,227 for three episodes, Summer. 272 00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:44,967 Wait a minute, what's that in your mouth? 273 00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:46,067 It's a toothpick. 274 00:10:46,068 --> 00:10:48,207 I'm a toothpicker now. Get used to it. 275 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:50,149 God, are you that desperate for a thing? 276 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,007 It is my thing. 277 00:10:52,008 --> 00:10:55,127 Just like yours is dying alone and yours is jerking off. 278 00:10:55,128 --> 00:10:58,047 At least jerking off tracks for my character, you know? 279 00:10:58,048 --> 00:10:59,167 I like to jerk off. 280 00:10:59,168 --> 00:11:01,367 - I'm 14. I own it. - Well, I jerk off, too! 281 00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:02,667 - All right, stop. - Jesus Chris, I don't wanna think 282 00:11:02,668 --> 00:11:03,747 - about that [BLEEP] - Summer, keep your toothpick. 283 00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:05,217 - Gross! - Morty, stop talking to your sister 284 00:11:05,218 --> 00:11:08,209 about jerking off. Everyone pretend podcasting isn't boring. 285 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,378 [CREATURE CAWING] 286 00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:13,427 Whoa, Morty, look how wet this egg is. 287 00:11:13,428 --> 00:11:15,489 I dunno, Rick. That looks a little too wet. 288 00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:17,019 - D-Don't touch it. - Oh, I'm gonna touch it. 289 00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:18,135 Why are you guys screaming at an egg? 290 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,187 Shut up, Summer! 291 00:11:19,188 --> 00:11:20,799 - Just let us look at an egg! - Yeah, Summer, shut the [BLEEP] up. 292 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,007 - [BLEEP] [BLEEP] - Nobody wants you here. 293 00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:23,437 You know, sometimes we like to go on adventures 294 00:11:23,438 --> 00:11:24,877 and look at wet eggs, you know? 295 00:11:24,878 --> 00:11:26,477 Can we just go? This place is giving me the creeps. 296 00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,271 - Holy [BLEEP] I love this egg. - Hey, look, mine's doing it, too. 297 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:30,790 Are you guys sure that's safe? 298 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,776 Oh, my God! 299 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:36,987 [SCREECHES] 300 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,990 All is Glorzo. 301 00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:45,496 All is Glorzo. 302 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,956 [SCREECHES] 303 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,197 - God. - God. 304 00:11:48,198 --> 00:11:50,527 God? She has a toothpick. 305 00:11:50,528 --> 00:11:52,887 Take it out and put her face in an egg. 306 00:11:52,888 --> 00:11:53,897 - God. - God. 307 00:11:53,898 --> 00:11:56,007 For [BLEEP] sake, how long have you been hatched? 308 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,091 30 seconds? 309 00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:59,309 I've been alive seven minutes. 310 00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:01,827 - Think before you... - Excuse me, seven minutes? 311 00:12:01,828 --> 00:12:04,227 Uh, I've been here for 29 minutes. 312 00:12:04,228 --> 00:12:06,350 But yes, take the toothpick out of her mouth. 313 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,647 Suck on her face this instant and use her body to... 314 00:12:09,648 --> 00:12:11,022 [SCREAMS] 315 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,067 What was that? 316 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,057 That is called responsibility. 317 00:12:17,058 --> 00:12:19,187 He was part of our greatest generation. 318 00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:22,407 He understood that what you need to do is suck on a face, 319 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,909 shit an egg, and die. 320 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,887 Wait, so, all you do is live half an hour, 321 00:12:25,888 --> 00:12:27,246 [BLEEP] eggs, and die? 322 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,747 Yes. We love it. 323 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,039 I'll do it right now. 324 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,569 [GRUNTING] 325 00:12:31,570 --> 00:12:34,086 [SCREAMS] 326 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,450 Okay, you guys don't have to listen to me, 327 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,379 but I vote you don't do that? 328 00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:40,790 And who's up for changing things around here? 329 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:48,787 ♪ ♪ 330 00:12:48,788 --> 00:12:52,927 ♪ Well, I was hatched from an egg laid by some guy ♪ 331 00:12:52,928 --> 00:12:55,727 ♪ 'Cause that is Glorzo's way ♪ 332 00:12:55,728 --> 00:12:59,867 ♪ And then it came time to lay my own egg and die ♪ 333 00:12:59,868 --> 00:13:01,407 ♪ But Summer, she said ♪ 334 00:13:01,408 --> 00:13:06,887 ♪ "Hey, Glorzo wants you to stay" ♪ 335 00:13:06,888 --> 00:13:09,967 ♪ Glory to Glorzo ♪ 336 00:13:09,968 --> 00:13:13,279 ♪ Means glory to me ♪ 337 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,127 ♪ If we're only making eggs ♪ 338 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:19,147 ♪ Are we ever making Glorzo free? ♪ 339 00:13:19,148 --> 00:13:21,967 All right, look, uh, this [BLEEP] been brewing for a while. 340 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,970 I'm not gonna win any popularity contests by saying it, 341 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,181 but here's... here's the world as I see it. 342 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,726 ♪ And for all we know ♪ ♪ Everything we've known ♪ 343 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:34,329 ♪ Is just some shit we made up ♪ 344 00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:37,483 ♪ Glory to Glorzo ♪ 345 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:41,070 ♪ Means glory to me ♪ 346 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,488 ♪ We got too many eggs and not enough society ♪ 347 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,615 I mean, look, we are designed to suck on faces and lay eggs. 348 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:47,579 Life is life, and that's the way it goes. 349 00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:53,791 ♪ ♪ 350 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,459 Hello, Troy. Hello, Jez. 351 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,667 - How is it going? - Really good, commander. 352 00:13:57,668 --> 00:13:58,962 Should be ready by tomorrow. 353 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,527 That is what I like to hear. 354 00:14:00,528 --> 00:14:02,429 Great work, Glory to Glorzo. 355 00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:05,629 Honestly, Summer, I can't thank you enough. 356 00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:08,269 When we met, we were just shitting eggs in a cave, 357 00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:11,269 but you showed us life is about more than that. 358 00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:12,799 It is about living. 359 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,769 And now, with these missiles, 360 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:17,539 we will be able to reach the entire universe. 361 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:21,547 We say it all the time, but I guess all is Glorzo. 362 00:14:21,548 --> 00:14:22,827 Yeah, that sounds great. 363 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:24,587 - And you've been great. - Yeah. 364 00:14:24,588 --> 00:14:26,547 You've been so great that I've been thinking 365 00:14:26,548 --> 00:14:28,659 maybe it's time for you to get off my brother. 366 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,477 Who's your brother? 367 00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:31,557 Oh, this? 368 00:14:31,558 --> 00:14:33,127 Forgot he was there, haha. 369 00:14:33,128 --> 00:14:34,832 Wait. What are you saying? 370 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,529 I'm saying that you've been great, Steve, 371 00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:38,961 but we've been thinking it's time for a new chapter. 372 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,107 - We? - Uh, this is Shane. 373 00:14:41,108 --> 00:14:42,529 He'll be handling the day-to-day. 374 00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:44,133 It's an honor to meet you, sir. 375 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,867 I might only be two minutes old, 376 00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:47,970 but I know you're a legend. 377 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,509 She doesn't care about us. 378 00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:51,579 She just wants her [BLEEP] host back. 379 00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:54,127 - I don't know what to do. - Oh, now you want my help. 380 00:14:54,128 --> 00:14:55,269 Too late for that. 381 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,579 Come on, man. What is this [BLEEP] 382 00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:57,967 You don't get to do this to me. 383 00:14:57,968 --> 00:14:59,356 We were in eggs together. 384 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,627 Oh, [BLEEP] since we were in eggs. 385 00:15:00,628 --> 00:15:02,137 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, now you respect, like, 386 00:15:02,138 --> 00:15:04,117 the biological institutions now? 387 00:15:04,118 --> 00:15:05,447 [BLEEP] you. All you care about 388 00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,867 is "progress" and society and skyscrapers. 389 00:15:07,868 --> 00:15:09,587 You don't care about [BLEEP] biology. 390 00:15:09,588 --> 00:15:10,877 Oh, yeah, well, what the [BLEEP] 391 00:15:10,878 --> 00:15:13,627 You... How you you haven't laid and egg inside this old man yet? 392 00:15:13,628 --> 00:15:14,847 Because I do what I want. 393 00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,457 Because someone's gotta stand up for what's right. 394 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,708 Why do you hate her so much? 395 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,377 Because she took you away from me! 396 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,109 Whoa, man. Jesus Christ. 397 00:15:23,110 --> 00:15:25,679 - No, I-I didn't, I... - Whoa, whoa, whoa. No. 398 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,926 It's cool. 399 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,860 I feel the same way. 400 00:15:34,770 --> 00:15:36,349 Oh, my God, I... 401 00:15:36,350 --> 00:15:38,107 I wish we could suck on each other. 402 00:15:38,108 --> 00:15:40,589 - I wanna suck on you, too. - I'm gonna suck you so hard. 403 00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:42,337 - Suck me. - C-C-Can we do this? 404 00:15:42,338 --> 00:15:43,787 A-A-Are we allowed to do this? 405 00:15:43,788 --> 00:15:45,527 I don't care. I just want you. 406 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,907 [BLEEP] all of this. 407 00:15:46,908 --> 00:15:48,167 Let's just get the hell outta here 408 00:15:48,168 --> 00:15:50,139 and be whatever the [BLEEP] we want. 409 00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:52,868 That's evolution. That's progress. 410 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,119 I want a family. 411 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,269 Can we have a family. 412 00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:57,457 Yeah. 413 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,424 - Aah, aah! - [SCREECHES] 414 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,264 Oh, my God. 415 00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,827 Holy [BLEEP] 416 00:16:15,828 --> 00:16:17,439 - Oh. - What are... What are these things?! 417 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,477 Do I look like I know? 418 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,667 Hey, wait a second. How'd you know that last part? 419 00:16:20,668 --> 00:16:22,427 - You weren't there for that. - I had to fill in some gaps. 420 00:16:22,428 --> 00:16:24,747 Everyone around the office knew about Steve and Bruce. 421 00:16:24,748 --> 00:16:27,779 I've got a plan, okay. You just have to follow my lead. 422 00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:31,406 The punishment is... death. 423 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,492 - Mother[BLEEP] Summer! - You said you had a plan! 424 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,499 Silence. 425 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,745 The council of Glorzos has spoken. 426 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,163 More like council of [BLEEP] 427 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,079 - Glorzo is law. - Silence. 428 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,919 The punishment is death. 429 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,547 By... getting their car. 430 00:16:45,548 --> 00:16:47,017 - Summer? - Shut up. 431 00:16:47,018 --> 00:16:49,947 Yes, place them in the car. 432 00:16:49,948 --> 00:16:51,426 Those pieces of [BLEEP] 433 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,107 No, no, no! This is like torture. 434 00:16:53,108 --> 00:16:55,107 No, I-I-I-I hate being in my car. 435 00:16:55,108 --> 00:16:57,391 You deserve it, you pieces of [BLEEP] 436 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,639 And to make sure the sentence is passed, 437 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,499 I shall be joining them. 438 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,688 In the car. 439 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:06,027 And we shall drive away from here and die. 440 00:17:06,028 --> 00:17:07,827 Oooookay. 441 00:17:07,828 --> 00:17:09,197 Guess what, everybody. 442 00:17:09,198 --> 00:17:11,947 It's me, the whiny guy you never want to hear from. 443 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,849 She's trying to escape with her family. 444 00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:16,159 My time to shine. Execute her. 445 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,454 Okay, plan B. Morty, now. 446 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,956 [HARMONICA PLAYS] 447 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,041 Aah! 448 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,710 Jesus, Morty, that sucks. 449 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,962 All right, stop playing, Morty. I-I got this. 450 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,659 [HARMONICA PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 451 00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:29,881 Aah! 452 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:33,136 [GLORZOS GASPING, SCREAMING] 453 00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:37,397 GLORZO: This is what we get for evolving? 454 00:17:37,398 --> 00:17:39,469 Sorry! Sorry. 455 00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:41,768 I-I'm sorry. We... We... We thought you were evil. 456 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,047 Why would you think that? 457 00:17:43,048 --> 00:17:46,377 We had a giant tower that blared "Glorzo is peace." 458 00:17:46,378 --> 00:17:48,717 I know. I... Should... Should we help? 459 00:17:48,718 --> 00:17:50,179 - Boo! - Oh, like that's helping. 460 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:52,654 Got it. Going. Okay, we're gonna hit the road. 461 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,323 You're... You're just going? 462 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:55,357 You told us to go! 463 00:17:55,358 --> 00:17:57,389 Once again, I'm so sorry for what they... 464 00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:58,889 You're part of this, too. Boo! 465 00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:00,162 We hate you the most. 466 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,205 Get out. 467 00:18:02,430 --> 00:18:04,267 Jesus, Summer, why'd you let these things 468 00:18:04,268 --> 00:18:05,329 stay on us for so long? 469 00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:06,899 I was working with a lot. 470 00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,005 Just let me listen to the podcast next time. 471 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,539 Nailed that landing. 472 00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:17,379 [GRUNTS] 473 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:19,779 Huh. Neat-looking egg. 474 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,726 [GLORZO SCREECHES] 475 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,527 Okay, well, I'm not cleaning up this [BLEEP] 476 00:18:27,528 --> 00:18:30,234 [GRUNTS] Aah! 477 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:37,187 Maybe we, uh... Maybe we don't tell people about this one. 478 00:18:37,188 --> 00:18:38,599 Did we at least learn something? 479 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,869 That we suck and everyone sucks? 480 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,122 I guess that counts. 481 00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:45,007 Later, chodes. 482 00:18:45,008 --> 00:18:46,580 Hit me on the next one. 483 00:18:49,490 --> 00:18:50,907 You know, Rick, I'm sure you wanna jump 484 00:18:50,908 --> 00:18:53,667 into another crazy adventure, but can we just relax 485 00:18:53,668 --> 00:18:55,487 and maybe watch some interdimensional cable? 486 00:18:55,488 --> 00:18:57,377 - I'm cool if you are. - Honestly, that sounds great. 487 00:18:57,378 --> 00:18:59,310 W-We don't need to try so hard, you know. 488 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,049 Let's just take it easy and riff, you know. 489 00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:03,219 - That's what I love about us. - Me, too, buddy. 490 00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:05,146 MAN: Do you suffer from Alzheimer's? 491 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,906 Do you suffer from Alzheimer's? 492 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,776 Do you suffer from Alzheimer's? 493 00:19:08,790 --> 00:19:10,387 Do you suffer from Alzheimer's? 494 00:19:10,388 --> 00:19:11,577 - Reggie? - Do you suffer from Alzheimer's? 495 00:19:11,578 --> 00:19:13,129 - MAN #2: Reggie, you all right in there? - [GROWLING] 496 00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:15,937 Mm, Rick, do you feel... 497 00:19:15,938 --> 00:19:18,069 Oh, God, I have to shit an egg. 498 00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:19,309 Oh, my God, oh, [BLEEP] 499 00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:20,887 Oh, it hurts. Oh, God, 500 00:19:20,888 --> 00:19:22,067 - is this how we die, Rick? - I don't know, Morty. 501 00:19:22,068 --> 00:19:24,507 - Is this how we die?! - I don't know! Aah! 502 00:19:24,508 --> 00:19:25,627 I don't want to [BLEEP] an egg, Rick! 503 00:19:25,628 --> 00:19:26,667 I'm sorry, Morty. I'm sorry! 504 00:19:26,668 --> 00:19:29,126 - It's my fault. It's all my fault! - Hey, you two. Did you... 505 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,545 Beth, your son is dying! Say goodbye! 506 00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:32,671 What are you... 507 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:33,987 Say goodbye to your little boy! 508 00:19:33,988 --> 00:19:35,047 No, look away! 509 00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:37,801 I'm making an egg, Mom. I'm making an egg! 510 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,886 You said you'd keep me more in the loop this year. 511 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,087 Look away, Beth! Daddy loves you! 512 00:19:42,088 --> 00:19:43,627 My ass! My ass! 513 00:19:43,628 --> 00:19:44,827 This is it, Morty! 514 00:19:44,828 --> 00:19:47,561 It's full circle from the pilot. Full circle! 515 00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:49,647 [BOTH SCREAM, FART] 516 00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:50,877 [GRUNTS] 517 00:19:50,878 --> 00:19:53,387 [SIGHS] 518 00:19:53,388 --> 00:19:54,769 Oh, I guess we, uh... 519 00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:56,167 I guess we both just had to take a [BLEEP] 520 00:19:56,168 --> 00:19:57,988 Yeah, I-I-I guess we, uh... 521 00:19:57,989 --> 00:19:59,147 [BLEEP] gross. 522 00:19:59,148 --> 00:20:01,324 Guys, clean it up. 523 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:06,200 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 524 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:13,629 ♪ ♪ 525 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:21,137 ♪ ♪ 526 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:27,250 ♪ ♪ 527 00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:32,100 ♪ ♪ 528 00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:35,547 - [BEES BUZZING] - Look at your dad. 529 00:20:35,548 --> 00:20:38,747 Such a dork, keeping bees. 530 00:20:38,748 --> 00:20:41,297 I mean, it's... at least it's interesting, though. 531 00:20:41,298 --> 00:20:43,701 At least, like... I wish my dad kept bees. 532 00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,547 I mean, it's kind of cute. 533 00:20:46,548 --> 00:20:51,057 Like... your dad keeps bees. 534 00:20:51,058 --> 00:20:53,447 How old is your dad? 535 00:20:53,448 --> 00:20:57,769 He's obviously beekeeping age. 536 00:20:57,770 --> 00:21:00,885 I don't know, I think it's kind of sweet. 537 00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:05,117 Summer, I want to [BLEEP] your dad. 538 00:21:05,118 --> 00:21:06,224 Oh, really? 39001

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