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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:04,352 Okay, guys, Mommy and I are gonna be leaving 2 00:00:04,354 --> 00:00:06,721 in a couple minutes, and we're, uh... 3 00:00:09,284 --> 00:00:11,209 Are you watching The Hangover? 4 00:00:11,736 --> 00:00:14,127 - Uh, no. - That's rated R. 5 00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:15,838 Uncle Don came in and turned it on. 6 00:00:15,863 --> 00:00:18,397 It's way better than SpongeBob. 7 00:00:19,736 --> 00:00:22,604 I sat on the remote and it just came on. 8 00:00:22,870 --> 00:00:24,870 That's not what happened at all. 9 00:00:24,895 --> 00:00:26,582 He searched for it, found it, and then said, 10 00:00:26,607 --> 00:00:28,039 "Buckle up, kids." 11 00:00:29,643 --> 00:00:31,076 Come on, man. 12 00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:34,457 I also told you not to tell your dad. 13 00:00:36,121 --> 00:00:37,363 Hey, what's with the suit? 14 00:00:37,388 --> 00:00:39,484 Looks like you're selling pianos at the mall. 15 00:00:40,554 --> 00:00:42,320 It's Valentine's Day. 16 00:00:42,322 --> 00:00:43,714 I'm taking Andi out 17 00:00:43,738 --> 00:00:45,437 - because I love her. - Hmm. 18 00:00:45,439 --> 00:00:47,806 And because she told me to. 19 00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:50,518 Really doing it up fancy, huh? 20 00:00:50,543 --> 00:00:51,710 Oh, yeah, yeah. 21 00:00:51,712 --> 00:00:54,494 I called three weeks ago to get us in at Staiano's 22 00:00:54,519 --> 00:00:56,052 for dinner and dancing, 23 00:00:56,077 --> 00:00:59,527 pre-ordered their special lovers package for two, 24 00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:01,553 and had the truck detailed for when she throws herself at me 25 00:01:01,555 --> 00:01:03,389 - on the way home. - Hmm. 26 00:01:03,882 --> 00:01:05,363 I forgot nothing. 27 00:01:05,388 --> 00:01:08,235 - Who's babysitting tonight? - I forgot something. 28 00:01:09,214 --> 00:01:10,390 Oh, this is not good, 29 00:01:10,415 --> 00:01:12,064 I don't have a babysitter. 30 00:01:12,066 --> 00:01:14,575 Wha... hey, are you and Marcy doing anything special tonight? 31 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,977 No. Every night I let Marcy lay her head on this bear skin rug. 32 00:01:18,399 --> 00:01:20,191 So, you know, 33 00:01:20,216 --> 00:01:22,284 it's always Valentine's Day at our house. 34 00:01:23,065 --> 00:01:25,139 Sounds like it's always Halloween at your house. 35 00:01:25,946 --> 00:01:28,547 - So can you babysit? - Let me call Marcy. 36 00:01:28,549 --> 00:01:30,482 Hello? 37 00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:32,117 Hey, babe, I got a question about tonight. 38 00:01:32,119 --> 00:01:35,087 So do I, where are you taking me for Valentine's Day? 39 00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:38,029 We got a big night ahead of us, baby, 40 00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:40,321 so lay out my good underwear. 41 00:01:41,295 --> 00:01:42,777 I can't babysit, I screwed up big. 42 00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,478 I got to find some place to take Marcy. 43 00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:46,322 Wha... you're never gonna get in 44 00:01:46,347 --> 00:01:48,555 anywhere on Valentine's Day. 45 00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:51,581 Hey, I snuck into three Cher concerts, I could do anything. 46 00:01:55,042 --> 00:01:56,614 So are you guys not going out? 47 00:01:56,639 --> 00:01:58,677 No, no, no, I can still save this. 48 00:01:59,123 --> 00:02:00,379 I'll call Marie. 49 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,281 She's been single a long time. 50 00:02:02,283 --> 00:02:05,150 It's a sad, sad... Marie! 51 00:02:05,546 --> 00:02:07,012 Hey, uh, any chance 52 00:02:07,037 --> 00:02:09,521 - you could babysit tonight? - No can do. 53 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,820 I'm here with your favorite kindergarten teacher, 54 00:02:11,845 --> 00:02:14,867 and we are drowning our sorrows in meat. 55 00:02:14,892 --> 00:02:17,228 Hey, Burns, the best thing about tonight 56 00:02:17,253 --> 00:02:18,897 is I've hit rock bottom. 57 00:02:19,401 --> 00:02:20,867 I can only go up from here. 58 00:02:23,824 --> 00:02:26,438 Katie, some phone calls make you feel very lucky. 59 00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:29,824 Lowell, it's Adam. 60 00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:30,709 Hey. 61 00:02:30,711 --> 00:02:33,007 Hey, uh, can you watch my kids tonight? 62 00:02:33,032 --> 00:02:35,505 I wish I could, Adam, but I've got romantic plans 63 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,163 with my wife all night. 64 00:02:40,212 --> 00:02:41,587 Time for lefty. 65 00:02:44,377 --> 00:02:45,904 Oh, I am in big trouble. 66 00:02:45,929 --> 00:02:47,436 Big trouble. 67 00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:49,208 I could babysit. 68 00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:50,195 What? 69 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,208 Wait. 70 00:02:52,527 --> 00:02:55,027 Wait, wait. 71 00:02:55,052 --> 00:02:57,336 Yeah, you're 13, you're old enough now. 72 00:02:57,338 --> 00:02:59,137 Yeah, and happy to do it any time. 73 00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:01,440 Wasn't even thinking about any time. 74 00:03:02,334 --> 00:03:04,810 I was just thinking about tonight. 75 00:03:05,347 --> 00:03:07,012 Yeah, but any time means, like, 76 00:03:07,147 --> 00:03:09,450 if I have to run back to the office, you'll be here. 77 00:03:09,668 --> 00:03:12,515 Or if Mom and I want to see a movie, you'll be here. 78 00:03:12,641 --> 00:03:15,975 Or if we just don't want to be here, you'll be here! 79 00:03:18,209 --> 00:03:20,142 This could change our lives. 80 00:03:21,507 --> 00:03:23,545 One thing though, if I babysit, 81 00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,770 it's gonna cost you three dollars an hour. 82 00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:28,240 Three dollars an hour? 83 00:03:28,822 --> 00:03:30,288 Katie, honey... 84 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,257 that's not how you negotiate, okay? 85 00:03:32,259 --> 00:03:34,247 You go high, I go low. 86 00:03:34,272 --> 00:03:36,728 Start at, like, ten or $15. 87 00:03:37,944 --> 00:03:39,044 Okay. 88 00:03:39,069 --> 00:03:40,142 $15, then. 89 00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,000 No, no, no, no, it's three, you already said three. 90 00:03:44,915 --> 00:03:47,516 Whoa, look at you. 91 00:03:47,541 --> 00:03:49,551 And look at you. 92 00:03:49,576 --> 00:03:52,076 I can't wait to get you out on the town. 93 00:03:52,078 --> 00:03:53,678 When's the babysitter getting here? 94 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,015 Ah, Valentine's surprise number one. 95 00:03:58,426 --> 00:03:59,995 - She's already here. - Oh. 96 00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:00,785 In fact, 97 00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:03,336 she's been here for 13 years. 98 00:04:03,361 --> 00:04:06,829 She's responsible, well-raised, 99 00:04:06,965 --> 00:04:09,702 you know her and you love her, it's Katie! 100 00:04:11,464 --> 00:04:14,699 You forgot to book a babysitter, didn't you? 101 00:04:14,701 --> 00:04:17,769 That's Valentine's surprise number two. 102 00:04:18,443 --> 00:04:19,671 Yeah, honey, 103 00:04:19,673 --> 00:04:21,472 I-I just don't think she's ready yet. 104 00:04:21,474 --> 00:04:25,025 I mean, babysitters need to be a little more, you know, mature. 105 00:04:25,205 --> 00:04:27,245 Wha... you let Uncle Don babysit. 106 00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:31,950 Good point, Katie, my smartest child. Huh? 107 00:04:31,952 --> 00:04:33,384 Don was here for five minutes 108 00:04:33,386 --> 00:04:36,287 and Emme learned every bad word ever. 109 00:04:36,289 --> 00:04:38,756 They're all up here now. 110 00:04:40,288 --> 00:04:41,826 Okay, Adam, we need to talk in the kitchen. 111 00:04:41,828 --> 00:04:44,028 That means no. 112 00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:46,731 Do you see how smart she is? 113 00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:47,932 Look, I tried everyone. 114 00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,367 Katie is our only option. 115 00:04:49,369 --> 00:04:51,069 Look, I'm fine with Katie babysitting. 116 00:04:51,071 --> 00:04:52,837 Just not our kids. 117 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:54,606 Yeah, I mean, let her work out all the kinks 118 00:04:54,608 --> 00:04:57,275 on that frog killer, Tabitha, down the street. 119 00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:01,279 Andi, the restaurant's only a few minutes away, okay? 120 00:05:01,281 --> 00:05:03,748 The kids will watch a movie, we'll have some dinner, 121 00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:05,316 dance to Sinatra, 122 00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:06,985 maybe squeeze in a little 123 00:05:06,987 --> 00:05:09,020 truck action on the way home. 124 00:05:09,022 --> 00:05:10,288 Come on. 125 00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:11,547 I don't know. 126 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:12,991 It's just scary to think about 127 00:05:12,993 --> 00:05:15,260 leaving her in charge. I mean, 128 00:05:15,262 --> 00:05:17,128 I have bras older than her. 129 00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:22,967 And like those bras, Katie has been through a lot. 130 00:05:25,971 --> 00:05:27,839 Look, she helps me already, okay? 131 00:05:27,841 --> 00:05:29,207 When we get home from school, 132 00:05:29,209 --> 00:05:30,842 she gives Teddy and Emme their snacks, 133 00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:33,060 she gets them started on their homework. 134 00:05:33,085 --> 00:05:34,913 She's really good at it. 135 00:05:34,915 --> 00:05:37,282 Isn't that what you're supposed to be doing? 136 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,718 Let's not get bogged down in details, okay? 137 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,086 You know what? Look, look, look, 138 00:05:42,088 --> 00:05:43,821 if... 139 00:05:43,823 --> 00:05:47,264 if Katie starts babysitting, we can go out whenever we want. 140 00:05:47,289 --> 00:05:50,461 All right? We can be that spontaneous, happy couple 141 00:05:50,463 --> 00:05:54,399 we used to be before the kids, you know, ruined everything. 142 00:05:57,152 --> 00:05:59,653 I think it's fun to stay home with the kids. 143 00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:04,909 They can't hear you. You can tell the truth. 144 00:06:04,911 --> 00:06:06,853 Look, can we just try it for tonight? 145 00:06:07,337 --> 00:06:09,414 - Okay, fine. All right? - Okay. 146 00:06:09,416 --> 00:06:12,617 But if anything goes wrong at the house while we're gone, 147 00:06:12,619 --> 00:06:14,498 Katie babysitting goes on the list of things 148 00:06:14,523 --> 00:06:16,354 you are not allowed to ask me to do again. 149 00:06:16,356 --> 00:06:17,922 Okay, sure, sure, sure. 150 00:06:17,924 --> 00:06:19,357 I'll put it next to skydiving 151 00:06:19,359 --> 00:06:21,070 and that thing I tried on New Year's Eve. 152 00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:22,281 Now, let's... 153 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,607 let's do this before you change your mind, okay? 154 00:06:25,632 --> 00:06:27,231 That's what you said on New Year's Eve. 155 00:06:29,543 --> 00:06:30,887 Katie, 156 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:33,904 your mother and I have decided to let you babysit. 157 00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:35,767 - Yay! - Really?! That's amazing! 158 00:06:35,792 --> 00:06:37,909 - I won't let you down, I promise. - Okay. Okay. 159 00:06:37,911 --> 00:06:39,644 But I have some rules, all right? 160 00:06:39,646 --> 00:06:41,713 No running, no jumping, no climbing, no fighting, 161 00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:44,211 no biting, no cooking, all right? 162 00:06:44,236 --> 00:06:46,470 A-And no trying anything for the first time. 163 00:06:46,495 --> 00:06:49,162 If you're not already great at it, don't do it, okay? 164 00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:51,823 Okay, listen, 165 00:06:51,825 --> 00:06:54,325 if you need anything, you call me, not your mother, me. 166 00:06:54,327 --> 00:06:56,127 - Got it? - Got it. 167 00:06:56,511 --> 00:06:58,296 Okay. And... 168 00:06:58,298 --> 00:07:00,903 if you need anything, you call me, okay? 169 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,493 - Be good, bye! - Oh, and lock this door. 170 00:07:07,518 --> 00:07:08,539 Don't answer this door. 171 00:07:08,541 --> 00:07:09,874 Nothing with doors. 172 00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,976 Doors equal death. 173 00:07:21,332 --> 00:07:22,653 And you're dead. 174 00:07:34,208 --> 00:07:35,995 Do you think it's too early to call home? 175 00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:38,434 Honey, we left six and a half minutes ago. 176 00:07:39,509 --> 00:07:42,385 The kids are in good hands, will you just relax? 177 00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:45,158 Okay, well, as long as everything is fine at home, 178 00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:46,572 - I'm fine. - Well... 179 00:07:47,242 --> 00:07:48,388 - I like this place. - Mm. 180 00:07:48,413 --> 00:07:49,679 - It's fancy. - Yeah. 181 00:07:49,704 --> 00:07:51,270 You know, when I went to the ladies' room, 182 00:07:51,272 --> 00:07:53,609 the toilet seat was heated. Yeah. 183 00:07:53,634 --> 00:07:55,289 And not from somebody else sitting on it. 184 00:07:55,343 --> 00:07:57,017 Oh. 185 00:07:57,042 --> 00:08:00,090 Oh, and, since I'm only paying Katie three dollars an hour, 186 00:08:00,115 --> 00:08:03,170 I am gonna order us the second cheapest bottle of wine. 187 00:08:03,195 --> 00:08:05,396 Mm. 188 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,638 Hi, may I help you? 189 00:08:06,663 --> 00:08:08,319 Hey, yeah, uh, we have a reservation for two. 190 00:08:08,344 --> 00:08:09,314 Burns. 191 00:08:09,339 --> 00:08:11,190 Hmm. Oh, I just seated 192 00:08:11,192 --> 00:08:12,458 the Burns party. 193 00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:16,496 I think I would've remembered if that happened. 194 00:08:17,532 --> 00:08:19,132 Is that Don? 195 00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:21,072 Yes. 196 00:08:21,097 --> 00:08:24,599 That seven-foot howler monkey stole our table. 197 00:08:25,974 --> 00:08:27,807 What the hell are you doing at our table? 198 00:08:27,809 --> 00:08:30,495 I took a gamble you wouldn't find a babysitter. 199 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,136 I kind of bet my marriage on it. 200 00:08:33,144 --> 00:08:33,832 Okay, well, 201 00:08:33,857 --> 00:08:34,914 Marcy's looking at me, 202 00:08:34,939 --> 00:08:36,881 so tell me all the lies quickly. 203 00:08:37,514 --> 00:08:39,886 I told her I invited you guys here to surprise her. 204 00:08:39,888 --> 00:08:42,355 And that you're fighting, and that's why you looked mad. 205 00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:46,993 Okay, fine, but you are buying us 206 00:08:46,995 --> 00:08:48,694 the third cheapest bottle of wine. 207 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,229 No problem. 208 00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:51,808 I'm not doing that. 209 00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,703 Oh, no, Katie's calling me. 210 00:08:59,269 --> 00:09:00,840 Katie, hey. Are you okay? 211 00:09:00,842 --> 00:09:02,808 Uh, yeah, we're fine. I think that fuse blew again, 212 00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:03,810 the lights went out. 213 00:09:03,812 --> 00:09:05,792 Oh, oh, you just have to reset the breaker. 214 00:09:05,817 --> 00:09:08,147 You know where the breaker box is out on the garage wall? 215 00:09:08,149 --> 00:09:10,883 Yeah, you mean that thing you told me to touch never ever? 216 00:09:11,813 --> 00:09:13,920 That was when you were four, but you're old enough now. 217 00:09:13,922 --> 00:09:15,410 Just... but, uh, before you open it, 218 00:09:15,435 --> 00:09:16,556 bang your hand on the cover 219 00:09:16,558 --> 00:09:19,659 a couple of times to scare the spiders. 220 00:09:19,661 --> 00:09:22,462 Spiders? We'll just leave the power off till you come home. 221 00:09:22,464 --> 00:09:23,863 No, no, no, no, no, if... 222 00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:25,431 if the power's off when Mom gets home, 223 00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:28,434 we'll never get our spontaneous life back. 224 00:09:28,436 --> 00:09:30,947 - What are you talking about? - You'll understand in 30 years. 225 00:09:30,972 --> 00:09:32,705 You know what? I'll be home in a minute. 226 00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:34,494 Okay, listen, I got to run home, 227 00:09:34,519 --> 00:09:37,043 but Andi can't know that Katie called or that I left, 228 00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:38,167 so cover for me, all right? 229 00:09:38,192 --> 00:09:39,812 Tell her that, uh... 230 00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:41,548 tell her you saw me running into the bathroom. 231 00:09:41,573 --> 00:09:43,987 Yeah, got it. You were sweating, your hands were on your butt. 232 00:09:44,012 --> 00:09:47,487 Right? And you were screaming, "Oh, Lord help me." 233 00:09:47,489 --> 00:09:49,121 What? No, no! 234 00:09:49,123 --> 00:09:51,524 What's the matter? Too religious? 235 00:09:54,462 --> 00:09:57,463 Hey, hi, everyone. Okay, it's just me. 236 00:09:57,465 --> 00:09:59,866 Hi. How's everybody doing? You good? Good? Okay. 237 00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:01,801 Playing a board game, that's nice. All right, good. 238 00:10:01,803 --> 00:10:03,703 Just gonna run out here and trip the breaker. 239 00:10:03,705 --> 00:10:05,805 All right, nothing... will only take a second. 240 00:10:05,807 --> 00:10:07,006 Okay. 241 00:10:07,008 --> 00:10:09,609 Lights will be on in a second. 242 00:10:09,611 --> 00:10:11,410 And the lights are back on. Yeah. 243 00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:14,026 Okay, all right, that's good. And I can... 244 00:10:14,051 --> 00:10:16,385 see that there's a spider on me! 245 00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:21,020 This is so fun that Don invited you guys here to surprise me. 246 00:10:21,045 --> 00:10:22,942 Yeah, we're all surprised. 247 00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:27,277 Hey, what'd I miss? 248 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,202 Hey, how's your tummy? 249 00:10:29,227 --> 00:10:30,652 Don said you had to borrow a pair of pants 250 00:10:30,677 --> 00:10:32,777 from the lost and found. 251 00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:36,890 Thanks, Don. 252 00:10:36,915 --> 00:10:37,904 No, it was just 253 00:10:37,906 --> 00:10:39,505 an upset stomach, but I feel great so, 254 00:10:39,507 --> 00:10:41,419 uh, let's get out night started. 255 00:10:41,606 --> 00:10:43,009 May I have this dance? 256 00:10:45,287 --> 00:10:47,406 Happy Valentine's Day. 257 00:10:47,431 --> 00:10:49,252 Here are your personalized champagne glasses 258 00:10:49,277 --> 00:10:51,744 that were included in your lovers package for two. 259 00:10:53,054 --> 00:10:56,122 Why do they say Adam and Andi? 260 00:10:56,124 --> 00:10:57,381 What? 261 00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,117 Well, shouldn't they have our names on them? 262 00:10:59,142 --> 00:11:01,076 I mean, you did make the reservation. 263 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,869 Or is there something going on that I should know about? 264 00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:08,267 Just that this is an outrage! 265 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,137 This is fun. 266 00:11:11,139 --> 00:11:12,905 Is that your phone buzzing? 267 00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:14,240 - Um... - Oh, is it Kate? 268 00:11:14,242 --> 00:11:15,408 Well, let me check. 269 00:11:15,688 --> 00:11:16,542 Uh, 270 00:11:16,544 --> 00:11:17,233 no. 271 00:11:17,258 --> 00:11:18,316 No, no, no. 272 00:11:18,341 --> 00:11:19,979 No, that's a, uh, uh, 273 00:11:19,981 --> 00:11:21,647 an alarm that I set for myself 274 00:11:21,649 --> 00:11:24,678 to remind me to tell you that I love you. 275 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,218 Oh... 276 00:11:26,354 --> 00:11:27,700 I love you, I got to go. 277 00:11:27,725 --> 00:11:29,511 Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 278 00:11:29,536 --> 00:11:30,656 Go where? 279 00:11:30,658 --> 00:11:34,527 Babe, a love like ours is beyond questions. 280 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:40,835 Listen, what's so hard about getting a name on a glass? 281 00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:43,327 I'm begging you, find a Sharpie and get it done. 282 00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:46,466 Katie called again, I got to call her back. 283 00:11:46,491 --> 00:11:48,583 Okay, I'll stand in front of you so Andi can't see. 284 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,797 Fine, fine, yeah. 285 00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:51,888 Hey, Katie, it's Dad. Are you okay? 286 00:11:51,913 --> 00:11:53,728 Dad, there's a bat flying around in Emme's room 287 00:11:53,753 --> 00:11:54,855 and she's freaking out. 288 00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:56,659 How did a bat get in the house? 289 00:11:56,684 --> 00:11:57,855 It must have flown in when you 290 00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,847 left the back door open to fix the fuse. 291 00:11:59,872 --> 00:12:02,239 Okay, no need to point fingers. 292 00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:04,423 All right, I-I'll be home in a minute. 293 00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:06,905 Okay, listen, tell Andi, uh... 294 00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:09,841 - I'll make something up. - No, no, no, no, no. 295 00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:12,208 Uh, tell her, uh, tell her I had to move the car. 296 00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:14,233 I-I accidently parked in a loading zone. 297 00:12:14,235 --> 00:12:16,696 Okay, but I got to find a strong drink for Marcy first. 298 00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:18,337 She's starting to get suspicious. 299 00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:19,306 Really? 300 00:12:19,331 --> 00:12:21,398 You having a hard time outsmarting her, are you? 301 00:12:21,423 --> 00:12:22,891 Oh, always. 302 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:23,862 Huh. 303 00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:25,845 Oh, this drink looks good. 304 00:12:25,847 --> 00:12:27,947 It's called a Mind Eraser. 305 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,690 Yeah. Mom must've had a few of those 306 00:12:31,715 --> 00:12:33,681 when she was pregnant with you. 307 00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:36,956 Okay! I'm here. 308 00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:38,457 I'm here! 309 00:12:38,482 --> 00:12:39,329 Hello? 310 00:12:39,354 --> 00:12:40,559 Oh, it's okay, 311 00:12:40,561 --> 00:12:42,461 I got him to fly out the window. 312 00:12:42,463 --> 00:12:45,331 Really? Oh, I'm so proud of you. 313 00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:46,699 You're the best babysitter ever. 314 00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:47,402 See that? 315 00:12:47,427 --> 00:12:48,768 Nothing to be scared of. 316 00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:50,503 Just a little bat. 317 00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:54,607 Ah! The bat's out here! 318 00:12:54,895 --> 00:12:56,661 It's chasing me! 319 00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:03,574 Not again. 320 00:13:04,894 --> 00:13:06,535 Hey, Katie. What is it this time? 321 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,794 Never mind, I'm coming. 322 00:13:09,784 --> 00:13:10,823 Hey, pal. 323 00:13:11,754 --> 00:13:12,958 Hi, Dad. 324 00:13:15,311 --> 00:13:16,911 Okay, ready? 325 00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:18,431 - Yeah. - Out you go. 326 00:13:20,308 --> 00:13:22,275 What a rush. 327 00:13:23,181 --> 00:13:24,280 Yeah, it's good, right? 328 00:13:24,305 --> 00:13:25,268 - Yeah. - Yeah. Okay, 329 00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,772 please don't do that again, all right? 330 00:13:26,774 --> 00:13:29,008 All right, I got to go. You call me if you need me. 331 00:13:33,308 --> 00:13:34,185 Hey, Mom. 332 00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:35,848 Hey, honey, just checking in. 333 00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:37,717 Oh, uh, don't worry, Dad just left. 334 00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,953 Wait, your-your dad was there? 335 00:13:41,514 --> 00:13:43,956 Yeah, to get Teddy's head out of the banister. 336 00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:45,224 What? 337 00:13:45,226 --> 00:13:47,026 Kate, what happened? 338 00:13:47,301 --> 00:13:48,544 Which time? 339 00:13:49,218 --> 00:13:51,030 "Which time?" 340 00:13:51,032 --> 00:13:52,932 Oh, it... it's no big deal. 341 00:13:52,934 --> 00:13:54,699 Dad only came home when the fuse blew out, 342 00:13:54,724 --> 00:13:56,724 when the bat was upstairs and when Teddy's head got stuck. 343 00:13:59,073 --> 00:14:00,771 I thought you guys told each other stuff. 344 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,629 Yeah, so did I. 345 00:14:03,511 --> 00:14:04,670 Okay, honey, well, I think 346 00:14:04,695 --> 00:14:06,122 we'll be home very soon. 347 00:14:06,147 --> 00:14:08,347 Okay? Bye-bye. 348 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:09,764 Excuse me? 349 00:14:09,895 --> 00:14:12,929 I would like your most expensive bottle of wine, please. 350 00:14:18,203 --> 00:14:20,338 This drink is delicious. I don't even care 351 00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:22,087 if my name's not on the glass. 352 00:14:22,391 --> 00:14:23,557 There you go. 353 00:14:23,559 --> 00:14:25,092 And there's hardly any alcohol in there, 354 00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:26,994 so you could have as many as you want. 355 00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:30,751 Hey. 356 00:14:31,592 --> 00:14:32,778 Hi. 357 00:14:32,803 --> 00:14:34,775 Honey, it sure took you a long time to move the car. 358 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,805 Yeah, well, I had to circle around forever. 359 00:14:37,807 --> 00:14:39,840 Practically ended up back at the house. 360 00:14:41,377 --> 00:14:43,844 I hate when I can't find a parking spot. 361 00:14:43,846 --> 00:14:46,580 It just makes me want to blow a fuse. 362 00:14:48,498 --> 00:14:52,019 Well, that... that was very specifically worded. 363 00:14:52,538 --> 00:14:54,922 It just drives me... 364 00:14:54,924 --> 00:14:56,690 batty. 365 00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:00,627 It's over, man. 366 00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,465 Why didn't you tell me you had to go home three times? 367 00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:05,933 I'm sorry. 368 00:15:05,935 --> 00:15:08,068 I wasn't thinking straight because I got caught up 369 00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,571 in this beautiful fantasy. 370 00:15:10,573 --> 00:15:12,373 Imagine this: it's a typical night, 371 00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:14,408 the kids are tired and fighting, 372 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,043 and what do we do? 373 00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,978 We just walk out the door. 374 00:15:18,915 --> 00:15:21,577 Because the babysitter is already there. 375 00:15:22,928 --> 00:15:25,586 All right, I mean, that does sound pretty good. 376 00:15:25,588 --> 00:15:27,889 And Katie did the right thing: every time there was a problem, 377 00:15:27,914 --> 00:15:29,057 she called me. 378 00:15:29,082 --> 00:15:30,491 We can trust her. 379 00:15:30,493 --> 00:15:32,459 'Cause she was raised by a good mother. 380 00:15:32,461 --> 00:15:34,795 A good, smokin' hot mother. 381 00:15:34,797 --> 00:15:36,263 Okay, okay. 382 00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:39,046 Too much? 383 00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,768 No, I mean, I like it. 384 00:15:42,545 --> 00:15:43,570 I like the fantasy, 385 00:15:43,572 --> 00:15:45,305 I-I like the whole thing. 386 00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,174 - Yeah. - You know what? I'm gonna call Katie 387 00:15:47,176 --> 00:15:48,490 and tell her what a good job she's doing. 388 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:51,123 Great, great. Then let's go enjoy our night. 389 00:15:51,148 --> 00:15:53,512 We still got a lot to look forward to: dinner, dancing, 390 00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,705 fireworks when Don's night goes up in flames. 391 00:15:58,778 --> 00:16:00,087 Adam, she's not picking up. 392 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,021 What? 393 00:16:07,268 --> 00:16:08,626 This night is going great. 394 00:16:08,651 --> 00:16:10,890 I think I'm actually gonna get away with it. 395 00:16:10,976 --> 00:16:11,724 Hey, bartender, 396 00:16:11,749 --> 00:16:14,501 another Mind Eraser, shaky, shaky. 397 00:16:15,157 --> 00:16:16,470 Five rings, 398 00:16:16,495 --> 00:16:19,261 six rings... voice mail. 399 00:16:19,286 --> 00:16:21,241 - Voice mail, Adam! - Well, why isn't she answering? 400 00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:23,243 I don't know, but we need to get home to our kids right now! 401 00:16:23,245 --> 00:16:24,090 All right, all right, that's it, 402 00:16:24,122 --> 00:16:25,222 we're out of here. 403 00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:26,480 Oh! 404 00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:27,414 Oh... 405 00:16:27,416 --> 00:16:28,482 Oh, sorry, buddy. 406 00:16:28,484 --> 00:16:30,017 Uh, he'll pay for it. 407 00:16:30,019 --> 00:16:31,460 I-I got to go! 408 00:16:32,905 --> 00:16:33,987 Why do I have to pay for it? 409 00:16:33,989 --> 00:16:35,656 It wasn't even my reservation! 410 00:16:38,418 --> 00:16:39,993 What did you just say? 411 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,465 Oh, I was so close. 412 00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:48,371 Still no answer. 413 00:16:48,396 --> 00:16:49,336 Can you drive faster? 414 00:16:49,361 --> 00:16:50,337 - Well, I... - My God, 415 00:16:50,339 --> 00:16:51,538 when we're going for fried chicken, 416 00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:52,940 you're breaking the sound barrier. 417 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,673 All right, hold on. 418 00:16:57,970 --> 00:17:00,514 Oh, you got to be kidding me! 419 00:17:03,991 --> 00:17:05,372 I'm soaked in booze. 420 00:17:05,397 --> 00:17:06,753 He's gonna think I've been drinking. 421 00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:08,956 You got any perfume or something to cover the smell? 422 00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:11,058 Uh... ooh, this'll work. 423 00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:12,092 This'll work, okay. 424 00:17:12,094 --> 00:17:14,161 Ow! What the hell was that? 425 00:17:14,414 --> 00:17:15,982 It's-it's lavender hair spray, 426 00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:17,404 with-with a little bit of glitter. 427 00:17:17,429 --> 00:17:19,696 It's why I look like a princess tonight. 428 00:17:21,604 --> 00:17:23,437 It's in my eyes! 429 00:17:23,891 --> 00:17:25,057 Okay, uh... 430 00:17:25,153 --> 00:17:26,707 Give me something to wipe my eyes. 431 00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:28,375 I don't... I don't have anything. 432 00:17:28,377 --> 00:17:30,754 I... here, oh, here. 433 00:17:30,779 --> 00:17:32,412 - Use my dress. - Okay. 434 00:17:32,414 --> 00:17:33,700 Oh... 435 00:17:42,258 --> 00:17:44,258 Good evening, officer. 436 00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,211 Well, I pulled you over for doing 50 in a 35, 437 00:17:47,236 --> 00:17:50,264 but by the look of things, we have a bit more to talk about. 438 00:17:51,079 --> 00:17:52,531 Oh... 439 00:17:52,783 --> 00:17:55,235 Doesn't he look like a princess? 440 00:18:11,762 --> 00:18:12,863 Are these your parents? 441 00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:15,122 I'm afraid so. 442 00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:20,687 What do you two have to say for yourselves? 443 00:18:23,098 --> 00:18:24,431 I'm sorry, honey. 444 00:18:24,433 --> 00:18:26,400 Oh, sure, apologize to her. 445 00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:27,887 My eyes got glittered, 446 00:18:27,912 --> 00:18:30,679 it's like I'm living in a snow globe. 447 00:18:31,424 --> 00:18:33,717 Look, me babysitting isn't gonna work 448 00:18:33,742 --> 00:18:35,609 if you can't be more responsible. 449 00:18:37,721 --> 00:18:39,124 You're right. 450 00:18:39,149 --> 00:18:40,881 Yeah. 451 00:18:40,883 --> 00:18:42,149 What was that? 452 00:18:44,175 --> 00:18:47,221 You're right. God. 453 00:18:47,223 --> 00:18:48,455 Now... 454 00:18:48,457 --> 00:18:50,224 I'm gonna put these two to bed. 455 00:18:50,603 --> 00:18:52,826 Just know, I'm not mad. 456 00:18:52,828 --> 00:18:54,261 I'm disappointed. 457 00:18:56,532 --> 00:18:58,498 We're all disappointed. 458 00:19:03,672 --> 00:19:07,040 Well, clearly Kate's bossy enough to babysit. 459 00:19:07,358 --> 00:19:09,142 I'm sorry, honey. 460 00:19:09,144 --> 00:19:11,940 I really wanted this to be a special night for you. 461 00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:14,640 Well, I mean, you know, we got covered in drinks, 462 00:19:14,665 --> 00:19:16,816 covered in glitter and detained by the police. 463 00:19:17,339 --> 00:19:20,687 Before we had kids, we would've called that a pretty fun night. 464 00:19:21,543 --> 00:19:22,856 Yeah. 465 00:19:23,076 --> 00:19:24,801 And it's not over yet. 466 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,677 I still have one more Valentine's Day gift for you. 467 00:19:28,153 --> 00:19:29,663 But I have to give it to you upstairs. 468 00:19:30,247 --> 00:19:32,833 Oh, so the same thing you got me last year? 469 00:19:35,012 --> 00:19:36,370 Well, it might be in a different order, 470 00:19:36,372 --> 00:19:38,305 but we end up in the same place. 471 00:19:39,332 --> 00:19:40,641 All right, let's go. 472 00:19:55,783 --> 00:19:58,258 Turns out Mind Erasers wear off. 473 00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:03,566 Get in here, you big howler monkey. 474 00:20:11,104 --> 00:20:12,837 Okay, Kate, we're headed out. 475 00:20:12,839 --> 00:20:15,273 Now remember, doors are still death 476 00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:17,656 and try to keep Teddy's head out of the banister. 477 00:20:17,681 --> 00:20:18,847 I know he's quick. 478 00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:20,945 And, uh, call us if you need anything. 479 00:20:20,947 --> 00:20:23,081 Same deal as before, three dollars an hour. 480 00:20:24,471 --> 00:20:26,017 I'm thinking ten. 481 00:20:26,614 --> 00:20:28,787 What? When did the price go up? 482 00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:32,190 When you bought non-refundable movie tickets. 483 00:20:33,794 --> 00:20:35,894 Now that's how you negotiate. 484 00:20:39,027 --> 00:20:44,027 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 34332

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