All language subtitles for Living It Up (1954) 25 fps - 90.12 min version
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1
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,354
There she goes, Homer,
the
Super Chief!
2
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,432
Seems she goes much faster
passing Desert Hole.
3
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,073
In exactly 28 seconds,
4
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,839
I'll be climbing aboard
the
Eastbound Skyrocket,
5
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,588
following her every inch of the way.
6
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,799
Gee, Mr Jackson, I sure wish
I could go to New York with you.
7
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,593
Now, Homer,
you're gonna be filling my shoes.
8
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,712
- Stationmaster of Desert Hole.
- Yeah.
9
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,033
In exactly 52 years,
you'll be getting your pension.
10
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,391
Then you'll be on your way to wine,
women and song!
11
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:20,952
- In 52 years who'll be able to sing?
- There comes the
Skyrocket!
12
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,435
- Well, at last I'm on my way.
- All aboard!
13
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,793
You'd better hurry, Mr Jackson,
they hate to wait in this station long.
14
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:44,196
Broadway, Radio City,
the Yankee Stadium!
15
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,236
Here, son.
Sleep with this under your pillow.
16
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,073
- Thanks. Goodbye, Mr Jackson.
- So long, Homer!
17
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,850
I'll mail you your card
from the Copacabana.
18
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,191
See you in 52 years.
19
00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,553
Bye!
20
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,039
That was a short trip.
21
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:32,956
Hey! Hey, come back, I'm here! Hey!
22
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,478
Hey! Hey, you!
23
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,676
Come back here!
24
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,398
What's your name?
25
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,430
Oh, please work. Please work.
26
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,272
Oh, boy, it works!
27
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,672
Reckless driver!
28
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,548
Radioactive car! Run for your lives!
29
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,033
Hi, mister.
Could I get some water, please?
30
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,560
- Oh, you bet your life. Okay.
- Hey, what's all the commotion
31
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:37,675
with everybody running away?
32
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,155
Well, I'll be diddly-dad-burnt if I know.
33
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,555
- Everyone rushing around.
- Yeah.
34
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,796
- Say, what kind of a car is this here?
- Oh, that's a...
35
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,110
- Excuse me.
- Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.
36
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,994
- This is... Oh, Radioactive. Four door.
- I never heard of it.
37
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,400
You never heard of a Radioactive?
38
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,198
Cars coming in and out of here
all day long?
39
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,994
I'll never forget the first time
I saw a Radioactive.
40
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,393
- Good morning, Mr Stone.
- Good morning.
41
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,715
- Oliver!
- I'm not interested.
42
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:50,200
- Oliver, you've got to hear me.
- Get out. I fired you last week.
43
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,600
Do you want me to repeat those words
with all their Anglo-Saxon charm?
44
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,280
Oh, but here's salvation, Oliver.
45
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,120
A shot in the arm
for your dying scandal sheet.
46
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,520
Now, look! "Desert Hole, New Mexico"...
47
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,956
I don't want to listen to you,
you female Svengali.
48
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,440
The Mother Goose stories
that you talked me into printing.
49
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,000
"The Man from the Flying Saucer,"
50
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,480
a midget that you dressed up
in a Buck Rogers outfit.
51
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,960
"The Man on the Ledge," your brother.
52
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,360
You're right, but this poor kid,
Homer Flagg,
53
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:17,320
his country doctor only gives him
three weeks to live,
54
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,440
radiation poisoning eating away
his bones.
55
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,040
- Your phoney stories, eating away mine.
- But this time I'm going straight.
56
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,560
- Now, look, Desert Hole, New Mexico.
- We covered it.
57
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,835
Covered it! We ain't covered... Oliver!
58
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,479
You covered it!
59
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:36,310
Six lines on the back page
next to the kidney remedies.
60
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,956
Did you read the last line?
61
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,240
"All I hope is that I can see
New York City before I die."
62
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:43,478
"All I hope is that I can see
New York City before I die."
63
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:48,000
That's not the end of the story, Oliver.
That's just the beginning.
64
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,240
- I ought to be shot for what I'm thinking.
- What are you thinking, Oliver?
65
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,600
I'm thinking that
maybe that cynical mind of yours
66
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,720
has hit pay dirt at last.
Maybe you've really learnt your lesson.
67
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,120
You'll never be sorry.
68
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,634
We'll bring that kid to New York
for a last fling at life.
69
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,318
Pay all expenses as long as he lasts.
70
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,478
The
New York Morning Chronicle
pays its debt to humanity.
71
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,670
It won't hurt circulation, either.
72
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,836
I knew
your better instincts would triumph.
73
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,428
Well, I'll go to the cashier
and get my expense money.
74
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,953
Wait a minute!
75
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,557
What if this kid doesn't die
in three weeks?
76
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,910
What if he just keeps on living?
77
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,952
Oh, I wouldn't let him do a thing like that
to you, Oliver.
78
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,679
# People worry
about the pursuit of happiness #
79
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:41,156
# It's amazing the amount
of time and energy they spend #
80
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,748
# When there's really only one approach #
81
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,678
# To the present psychological trend #
82
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,995
# Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, baby #
83
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,960
# That's what I like #
84
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:04,480
# Hold me, hug me, pet me, baby #
85
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,797
# That's what I like #
86
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:15,738
# You don't have to give me
clever conversation #
87
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,831
# I just want affection #
88
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,989
# Not an education #
89
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:27,148
# Kiss me, hold me, hug me, pet me, baby #
90
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,110
# That's what I'd like you to do #
91
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:39,798
# And love me, love me, love me,
baby, too #
92
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:50,350
# You don't have to give me
classy conversation #
93
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,238
# I just want affection #
94
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,476
# Not an education #
95
00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:01,879
# Kiss me, hold me, hug me, pet me, baby #
96
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:06,792
# That's what I'd like you to do #
97
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:15,037
# And love me, love me, love me,
baby, too #
98
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,477
Doc. Doc.
99
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,033
- Doc!
- What is it?
100
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,352
Oh, well, I just came
from making out my will.
101
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:27,749
It didn't take very long, and I...
102
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,711
# Love me, love me #
103
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,435
Well, this is a fine time to be singing.
I have a good mind to disinherit you.
104
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:34,879
Stop looking so tragic, Homer.
105
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,197
You're not going to die,
unless you get run over or something.
106
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,356
But you told me
I had something terrible.
107
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,869
And my blood and my tests
and my X-rays.
108
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,913
I know. I checked them over again.
You don't have radiation poisoning.
109
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:50,032
Look, and your blood count,
well, it got away from me.
110
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,116
I should've paid more attention in class.
111
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,195
What?
112
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,312
- Look, Doc.
- Yeah?
113
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,630
I know you're the best pal I got here
in town.
114
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,638
- That's right.
- Well, I don't want you to spare me.
115
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,557
- I won't.
- I mean, I can take it.
116
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,875
- I know it.
- Let me know the worst.
117
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,680
Homer, don't you think
I'd want you to have radiation poisoning,
118
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,432
just to break up the monotony?
119
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,476
Look, Doc, give it to me straight.
When do I keel over?
120
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:14,908
Will you listen to me?
121
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,508
You know, you even threw me a curve
on the fluoroscope.
122
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,198
I did?
123
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,432
I was so anxious to get a patient,
124
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,710
I didn't notice
that your radiation had numbers on it.
125
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,991
- 10:27. Exactly.
- Right.
126
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,798
- And you know that car you drove?
- Yeah?
127
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,399
It was sitting in the desert for months.
128
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,990
And believe me, Homer, all you have
is a very slight sinus condition,
129
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,111
which I'll do my best to prolong.
130
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,117
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
131
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,632
- I'm not gonna die?
- No, you're not gonna die.
132
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,711
I'm not gonna die. I'm gonna live.
133
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,233
I'm gonna live!
134
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,800
I'm gonna live?
Oh, no, Doc, you can't do that.
135
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,520
- Easy, Homer. Come on. Here, Homer.
- No, I can't, Doc. I made some plans.
136
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,800
- I can't live.
- Sit down.
137
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,400
- No, I don't want to, Doc.
- Homer.
138
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,140
- Oh, that's not fair, Doc. Gee willikers.
- Here, take some of these pills.
139
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,440
- A sedative.
- No.
140
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,800
It'll knock you out at first,
but then you'll feel great.
141
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,720
- I think that's what it does.
- No, thanks.
142
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,840
What's wrong with you, Homer?
You should be celebrating.
143
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,800
I just saved your life.
First patient I ever did that for.
144
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,480
Well, I don't want to sound ungrateful,
Doc, but you also just spoiled my trip.
145
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,360
- What trip?
- My trip to New York.
146
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,440
I was gonna use the $300 bonus
the railroad gives you for dying
147
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,560
to go to New York and have a good time
and die happy.
148
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,920
Oh, I'm sorry, kid. If it was up to me,
you could have a trip around the world.
149
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,000
What good would that do me?
I'd only wind up back in Desert Hole.
150
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,000
There's nothing wrong with Desert Hole,
if you like holes in the desert.
151
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,680
Well, I kind of graduated from it
while I was dying.
152
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,560
Now I have to go back to that station,
153
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,632
working every day
and watching the
Super Chief whiz by.
154
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,429
If only once it would go...
155
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,840
But, no, always...
156
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,280
All right, all right, all right.
Steady, Homer, easy. Easy.
157
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,000
Gee whiz, Doc! I'm not ungrateful,
158
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,400
but it is kind of strange
to be brought to life twice,
159
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,595
and both times in Desert Hole.
160
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:06,314
You probably thought nothing
was wrong with him, either, huh?
161
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,958
- Going straight through, Art?
- Nope, got a passenger for you today.
162
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,117
A... A...
163
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,513
- Desert Hole, New Mexico. Hi, Homer.
- Hi, Mr Moore.
164
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,240
Oh, no. Not even for the Pulitzer Prize.
165
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,480
Just a minute, ma'am.
166
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,948
They all do that the first time,
but you'll get used to it.
167
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,992
That's what I'm afraid of. Oh, well!
168
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,433
All aboard!
169
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,400
Oh, just lead me to the coolest,
driest martini in town.
170
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,400
I'm gonna take off my shoes
and wade in it.
171
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,760
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but we don't have a saloon here.
172
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,720
But maybe I can get Joe Stevens
down at the drugstore
173
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,200
to tap a new keg of sarsaparilla.
174
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,953
Oh, no. No, thank you. I just swore off.
175
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,440
I'm looking for Homer Flagg.
176
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,874
Do you have any idea
where I can find the poor kid?
177
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,831
I'm the poor kid, ma'am.
178
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,268
Oh, I'm sorry.
Here, give me these bags.
179
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,234
Sit down!
180
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,276
- You mean you're still working?
- Why should I quit?
181
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,072
"Why should I quit?"
182
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,040
Now, there's a headline for you.
183
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,800
Homer, I'm Wally Cook
of the
New York Morning Chronicle.
184
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,360
- Oh, how do you do?
- How do you do?
185
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,440
I know it's difficult
for you to talk about it,
186
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,477
but if you could give me
some information.
187
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,830
- Well, it's sort of all over now.
- Oh, never say it's all over, Homer!
188
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,720
Well, I didn't say it, but Doc Harris...
189
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,312
Look, I don't want to hear
about your ailment.
190
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,715
I don't want to hear anything
that isn't gaiety and laughter
191
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,280
as far as you're concerned.
192
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,352
Because, Homer,
I'm taking you to New York.
193
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,111
- New York?
- That's right.
194
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,000
As guest of Oliver Stone,
editor of the
Morning Chronicle.
195
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,520
- Now, don't say anything until I tell you...
- Oh, I didn't say anything.
196
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,475
Good.
197
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,080
We're going to lay the whole
cockeyed city at your feet.
198
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,120
The town will take you to its heart.
199
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,880
Everything you've ever wanted,
you'll have on a silver platter.
200
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,108
- Everything?
- Everything.
201
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:32,800
Could you get the
Super Chief to stop
202
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,520
right here at Desert Hole to pick me up?
203
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,240
Homer, Oliver Stone could get
the
Queen Mary to stop here.
204
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,673
All of this just because...
205
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,435
Yes, Homer.
206
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,558
That's putting it bluntly, but...
207
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,719
...I might as well be honest.
208
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,476
You're going all the way to New York
209
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,670
because you've got radiation poisoning.
210
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,156
How far can I go on a sinus condition?
211
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:03,919
Oh, don't joke, Homer.
212
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,149
It's too serious.
213
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,400
Now, could you show me to a hotel
so I could freshen up?
214
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,119
- Yes, ma'am. There's one right here.
- Oh, I'll take the bag.
215
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:13,788
I'll take the coat.
216
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,440
- This way, ma'am.
- All right.
217
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,628
Hi, Shane.
218
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,877
Believe me, I'd take you out of this town
if you were my worst enemy.
219
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,520
Have you lived here all your life?
220
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:29,748
Oh, twice that, ma'am.
221
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,318
Tell me, Miss Cook, when will we go?
222
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,632
Right after I talk to your doctor.
223
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:36,955
Oh, do you have to?
224
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,800
Our readers like all
the gruesome details.
225
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,597
They're strong enough
to stand the truth.
226
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:42,789
Yeah, but am I?
227
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,516
Well, here's the hotel, Miss Cook.
228
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,957
- I'll see you later.
- Bye.
229
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,075
Doc!
230
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,800
Love me, love me, love me, baby, too
231
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:13,360
Hey, Doc. Excuse me! Hey, Doc!
Listen, Doc! Doc! Hey, excuse me, Doc.
232
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:17,360
- Hey, Doc! Hey, Doc, you gotta help me!
- You got an appointment?
233
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,560
No, but listen, Doc, there's
a reporter from New York, see?
234
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,800
And she wants me to go there with her,
all expenses paid, and you know why?
235
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,280
- Because I'm dying.
- You're not gonna die, Homer.
236
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,920
I just made out a new report
to the railroad.
237
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:30,240
Oh, you can overlook it, can't you, Doc?
It could slip your mind, can't it?
238
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,435
Every doctor makes mistakes,
that's why we have hospitals.
239
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,880
Look, the retainer the railroad gives me
is the only thing that keeps me alive.
240
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,235
- I couldn't do a thing like that.
- Oh, yes, you could!
241
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,950
Because if you don't,
I'll just drop them a little line myself.
242
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,440
What a fine doctor they got,
takes X-rays of Swiss watches.
243
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,555
You'd be fired.
244
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,433
Then I'd tell them about
their new stationmaster,
245
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,200
who's trying to gyp them out of $300.
246
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,269
Then you'd be fired.
247
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,155
Yeah, that's probably
what would happen.
248
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,120
That is, if we both weren't
honourable men.
249
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,588
- But we are, aren't we?
- Sure.
250
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,630
What would it hurt you to tell one
little teeny-weeny white lie?
251
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,068
I'm sorry, Homer.
252
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,669
I may have been last in my class,
but I'm a doctor.
253
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,755
I couldn't hand in a phoney report.
I swore the solemn Hippocratic oath.
254
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,957
"With purity and holiness,
I will pass my life and practise my art."
255
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,920
Yeah, I guess you're right.
256
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,434
I couldn't ask you to go back
on an oath like that.
257
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:32,316
You don't have to lie.
Just give me something fatal.
258
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,475
Oh, I couldn't do that, not on purpose.
259
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,120
It doesn't necessarily have to be
radiation poisoning.
260
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,190
It could be just anything
you got laying around the office.
261
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,510
- I won't be a party to it.
- Force yourself!
262
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,917
- No!
- Well, then, I'll help myself!
263
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,440
Now, don't touch that stuff, Homer!
264
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,271
I'll touch anything
that'll get me to New York.
265
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,154
A little of this.
266
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:57,628
Two cc's of that.
267
00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,949
A little of this.
268
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:03,754
Witchcraft!
269
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,313
Splendid! Reaction!
270
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,229
I'll drink it.
271
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:12,868
I'm going to drink it.
272
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,000
- What was that?
- Congratulations, Homer.
273
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,719
You're gonna have the healthiest baby
that was ever born in this town.
274
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,440
Oh, that's her. That's her, Doc. Please.
275
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,640
Come on, Doc, give me a break,
will you, please?
276
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:34,834
Come in.
277
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,190
Remember, Hippocratic oath.
278
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,113
Dr Harris?
279
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,229
Yes.
280
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,396
I'm Wally Cook
of the
New York Chronicle.
281
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:45,999
How... How...
282
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:48,635
How.
283
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,072
Oh, I'm sorry. It's been such a long time
since I've seen a girl,
284
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,558
I mean, a female girl in Desert Hole.
285
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,512
Well, if you don't mind,
I'd like some facts about
286
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:02,869
Homer's ailment.
287
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,800
Miss Cook,
we might as well tell the truth.
288
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,360
You see, about those X-rays...
289
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,237
Oh, Homer, you look pale.
290
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:09,315
I do?
291
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,759
- You're not well.
- I'm not?
292
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,233
- You better lie down.
- What for?
293
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,240
You just rest and let me do the talking.
294
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,309
Yeah, but...
295
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,909
You wouldn't believe me if I told you
what his pulse was.
296
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,277
Oh, the poor kid.
297
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,440
You know, if you're gonna take him
all the way to New York,
298
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,680
he'd better be under
medical supervision at all times.
299
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,079
Oh, don't you worry.
300
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,151
We'll get him the finest doctors
in the world.
301
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,675
Oh, no, Homer has a strange feeling
that no doctor can do for him what I can.
302
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,152
And it's best not to upset him.
After all, his is a very rare case.
303
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,793
Yeah, Miss Cook, you could search for
years and not find another one like it.
304
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,960
You see, Miss Cook,
it's my duty never to leave his side,
305
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,953
as long as I can be of help
with a little faith, a little knowledge
306
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,472
and a deeply-felt sense
of honour and integrity.
307
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,594
Don't stand there, get a doctor!
308
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,560
Just talked to Oliver, Oliver Stone,
my editor.
309
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,640
He's toe-dancing in the streets,
waiting for us.
310
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,760
Half the town is at La Guardia Airport.
311
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,240
What's that down there? What's that?
312
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,949
Oh, that's little old New York.
313
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,840
If you see a red carpet down there,
Homer, that's for you.
314
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,960
And eight million people
will be weeping and cheering
315
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,520
and buying newspapers.
316
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,080
What a way to make a buck.
317
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,040
Oh, don't feel bad, Miss Cook, because
if your newspaper didn't make money,
318
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,680
I'd have never gotten this trip.
319
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,752
So we're even. I just want to have fun.
320
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,200
Then, have fun, Homer.
321
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,280
From the Battery to the Bronx,
it's all yours.
322
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,952
Take it while you can.
323
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,960
Because in a month from now,
they'll have forgotten all about you.
324
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,760
- Miss Cook, I'd like to ask you a favour.
- Yes, Doctor?
325
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,560
I don't want any so-called specialists
poking at my patient.
326
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,000
I'm not bringing him all the way
to New York just to be a guinea pig.
327
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,640
Yes, 'cause everybody knows what
I got is incurable, so it would just be
328
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:07,868
a waste of time.
329
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,120
Oh, don't worry.
I'll see you're not bothered.
330
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:14,829
You know, sailor, all these stories
have to begin the same way.
331
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,040
Now, what do you think of New York?
332
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,952
Oh, I feel as if I lived here all my life.
333
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,029
I feel as if I were coming home.
334
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,316
- Beautiful!
- I'm gonna have fun first.
335
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,518
I am, really I am.
336
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,750
Well, if that doesn't make them cry,
nothing will.
337
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,560
Cry? Why should they cry?
338
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,838
Because you're the bravest, sweetest,
and nicest kid in the whole world.
339
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,669
Miss.
340
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,989
"...I were coming home.
341
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,393
"I feel..."
342
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,474
- What was that?
- 2:00 medicine.
343
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,112
2:00 medicine at 9:00?
344
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,439
You're not supposed
to give me medicine.
345
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,070
You were last in your class.
346
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,240
Just one of his seizures. He's been
going on nerve alone, you know?
347
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,708
Oh, the poor, brave kid.
348
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,396
Does this happen very often?
349
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,280
Can't tell yet. The case is too new.
350
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,032
Oh, but he'll be all right.
351
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,195
I hope so.
352
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,600
I know how you feel about poor Homer,
but life must go on.
353
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,720
I ought to take you out on the town
tonight and cheer you up.
354
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,520
- Homer would want it that way.
- Really?
355
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,760
Sweetest kid that ever was.
356
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,440
Now, you tell me where you live,
and I'll pick you up.
357
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,880
My dear doctor, I live on the front
page of the
Morning Chronicle.
358
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:01,949
On the what?
359
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,880
On the front page
of the
Morning Chronicle.
360
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,240
And you can pick me up
for seven cents.
361
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,960
Now climb back in your horse
and buggy
362
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,838
and try your bedside manner
on someone else!
363
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,275
What was that?
364
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,480
We just came down to earth.
365
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,393
Come on, boy, we've landed.
Come on, come on.
366
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,280
"Gentlemen, as the Mayor of New York
City, it gives me great pleasure
367
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,440
"to receive you here
and to present you..."
368
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,160
Oh, I guess I'll remember it all right.
369
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:37,199
I really appreciate your doing this,
Your Honour. It's for a worthy cause.
370
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,640
Hey, Doc!
Doc, what's the latest bulletin?
371
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,029
- Status quo.
- Well, is he suffering?
372
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,200
Feeling no pain, hasn't opened his eyes
since we landed.
373
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,191
Poor guy.
How long do you figure he'll last?
374
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:29,480
Sixteen days?
375
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,760
- Fifteen days, maybe?
- Well, that's hard to tell.
376
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,480
Well, look, if you get a hint, tip me off,
will you?
377
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,360
Because I got the fourteenth day
in the pool.
378
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,720
Yeah, I'll tell him.
Maybe for you, he'll speed things up.
379
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:39,551
Thanks, Doc.
380
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,874
- Is there a cure for him?
- Not in his condition.
381
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,400
I'm Dr Harris.
382
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,200
Would you take a letter, please?
383
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,589
To Mr Saks,
in care of Saks Fifth Avenue,
384
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:03,948
New York, New York.
385
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,400
Would you read that back, please?
386
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,480
"Mr Saks, Saks Fifth Avenue,
New York, New York."
387
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,118
- Is that all I said?
- Yes, sir.
388
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,275
Thank you.
389
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,789
Dear, Mr Saks, how's the family?
390
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,760
New paragraph.
391
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:21,240
I read the ad in the paper today
and I would like two of everything.
392
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,320
And send the bill to Oliver Stone,
393
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,709
in care of
the
New York Morning Chronicle.
394
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,120
Drop over and see me for a minute
395
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,475
if you can get someone
to watch the store.
396
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,875
Sincerely yours, Homer Flagg.
397
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:37,433
The poor kid.
398
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,833
- Oh, don't feel bad. I'm not gonna...
- Homer!
399
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,273
...have trouble living here. Hiya, Steve.
400
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,400
Hey, Steve, get a load of all this.
Is this beautiful?
401
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,517
Come here, let me show you around!
In here. Isn't this terrific?
402
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:05,240
A bathroom
bigger than the station at Desert Hole.
403
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:06,958
And look it out here, Doc.
404
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:14,474
Another bathroom.
405
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,240
So shiny, so clean, you gotta wash up
before you go in there.
406
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:18,434
Hey, come here.
407
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:23,315
This way.
408
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,839
- And guess what's in here?
- A bathroom.
409
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,038
Right. Isn't that silly?
410
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,480
Indoors, three bathrooms.
Outdoors, nothing.
411
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,040
- All right, Homer, calm down.
- And look over here.
412
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,480
- Homer.
- Hey, Doc, look at this furniture.
413
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:38,674
- Is that terrific?
- Homer.
414
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,600
And the telephone, all you have to do
is pick it up and ask for room service.
415
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,600
- Homer!
- But the paper's paying for it.
416
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,434
Hello, room service, please.
Hello, room service? Guess who?
417
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,912
What are you doing, Doc?
418
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,715
Come on. He's a very sick boy.
419
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,235
Come on.
420
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,720
Oh, hello. Hello, everyone.
421
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:01,959
How are you all?
422
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:04,280
What are you doing, you idiot?
423
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,720
- I'm living my last days to the hilt.
- You gotta calm down.
424
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,760
Don't you know this whole city's
gone off its rocker about you?
425
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:09,920
You gotta play the part.
426
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,280
You gotta give them
something to cry about.
427
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,157
Like the end is drawing close.
428
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:15,995
Oh, Doctor.
429
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,436
I think the end is drawing close.
430
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,470
I'm not long for this world, Doctor.
431
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,359
Oh, and I'm so young.
432
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,711
Oh, much too young to die.
433
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,520
No. You gotta play it weak and soulfully.
434
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,720
- Well, that was weak and soulfully.
- But it wasn't believable.
435
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,240
Look, if someone comes in,
first we do this.
436
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,391
Then I take your pulse,
and you do the rest with your eyes.
437
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,396
Remember this is a sickroom.
Hurry up, get in bed.
438
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,878
Hello. Yes, this is Dr Harris.
439
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,877
I told you, Mr Flagg is in no condition
to receive visitors.
440
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,277
Needs all the rest he can get.
441
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,920
Why didn't you say so in the first place?
Send them right up!
442
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,797
Homer! Homer!
443
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,878
Wally and the editor,
they're on their way up. Here.
444
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:13,600
Thirty-two in the waist.
445
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,880
Would you make
two of everything, please?
446
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,080
One for me and one for my doctor.
447
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:17,200
- Did you hear that, two of everything?
- Homer!
448
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,520
- One for him, one for the doctor.
- Here he is now!
449
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:19,600
- Hiya, Doc.
- What are you doing here?
450
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,880
These guys make nice clothes.
Go ahead, measure him.
451
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,480
- Don't measure me.
- The shoulder is 17.
452
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,311
- Homer!
- Hello, room service?
453
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:26,919
- Homer.
- What have you got left?
454
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,794
I'm just gonna order something
to eat for you. Aren't you hungry, Doc?
455
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:32,275
Homer!
456
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,120
- Will you let me out?
- Hello, room service.
457
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,109
He's a very sick boy.
458
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,038
- Hello. Just a minute. Hold on.
- Homer.
459
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,760
- Hello, New York. Hello. I love you.
- Homer.
460
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,800
You want to come up for dinner?
Room 3608.
461
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,712
- How many shrimp cocktails?
- Homer.
462
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,951
- I got it.
- Homer.
463
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,600
What are you doing down there, Doc?
464
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:53,874
Come on.
465
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,316
Hello? Hello?
466
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,716
Yes, I'm holding on room service.
467
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,640
I'm just trying to get room service.
468
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:03,920
Come on, son, you're going to bed.
469
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:05,240
Oh, no, but I have guests for dinner!
470
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,400
You do that later. Right now,
I got to check your haemoglobin.
471
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,800
No, wait a minute.
Send me 3,000 shrimp cocktails.
472
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:13,839
- Oh, Homer, 3,000 shrimp cocktails.
- Well, that's how many people I invited.
473
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:17,880
Why, you little hyperthyroid.
474
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,880
Everybody'll get wise,
and Wally will be here in a minute.
475
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,160
Yeah, and I'm gonna tell her on you,
too. You leave me alone.
476
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,948
I'm just trying to have some fun,
and you're stopping me from having it!
477
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:27,880
Come on, I want to have fun.
478
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,394
You want to have fun?
Go ahead, have fun.
479
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,909
Doc! Doc!
480
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,317
Here comes Dr Harris now.
481
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,590
Quiet, everyone, quiet.
482
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,120
Friends, I'm sorry
you had to see him like that.
483
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,680
But it's the leukocytes
fighting the necrosis.
484
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,280
I'd appreciate it
if you wouldn't mention that.
485
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:46,600
Now, if you'd all leave,
486
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,360
I'm sure he can get a little peace
and a little quiet.
487
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,271
Thank you. Goodbye.
488
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,311
Doc! Doc! Hey, Doc!
489
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,640
That wasn't very nice of you, Doc.
I had no fun in there!
490
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,358
- Oh, quiet, Homer.
- What's the matter?
491
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,000
Wally's out in the hall.
Now, do me a favour.
492
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,433
- What?
- Die a little.
493
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,075
Now.
494
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:28,835
Come in.
495
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:34,160
- Oh, Dr Harris, how is he?
- Status quo.
496
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:35,513
Is there any pain?
497
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,277
Comes and goes, goes and comes.
498
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,118
- Oh, this is Oliver Stone, my publisher.
- Happy to know you, Doctor.
499
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,640
I don't know how we can show
our thanks for all you've done,
500
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,360
but I'm having my paper, the
Chronicle,
501
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,511
prepare a series of articles
against socialised medicine.
502
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,711
Say, he has quite an appetite,
hasn't he?
503
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,916
Oh, eats like a horse.
504
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,312
Symptoms of the disease.
505
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,593
Well, but don't you think
you should put him on a diet?
506
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,880
Dr Harris, may we see him?
507
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:09,598
Well...
508
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,432
- May we?
- Yes.
509
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:15,875
- This way.
- This way.
510
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,558
Well...
511
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,438
- How are you, sailor?
- Seasick.
512
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,916
Hello, Homer. I'm Oliver Stone.
513
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,840
Oh, how do you do?
I'm awfully glad to meet you, Mr Stone.
514
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,560
You're the kind soul
that's giving me everything free.
515
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,720
Everything I want, sparing no expense.
516
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,156
What a fine man, what a good man,
what a swell man you...
517
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:49,837
Seems awfully healthy to me.
518
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,108
That's the way he is, always smiling.
519
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:57,600
Homer, Oliver has scheduled
a lot of public appearances for you.
520
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,592
Oh, I'm sorry,
but the fewer people he sees the better.
521
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:02,520
I think it's best I filled in for him.
522
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,760
Wait a minute! He's the story, not you!
523
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,990
If you think at these prices that I...
524
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,388
I didn't mean to upset you,
but we've made all the arrangements.
525
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,872
The World Series,
complete tour of the city.
526
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:23,680
Tomorrow, tomorrow was going to be
Homer Flagg Night at Wonderland.
527
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,760
Oh, he doesn't feel up to it.
528
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,200
What's Wonderland?
529
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,760
Oh, it's a dancehall, girls.
Much too tiring.
530
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,513
- I feel fine.
- Are you sure you're up to it?
531
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:36,839
All these events are fine for circulation,
but you come first.
532
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,039
Oh, I'm fine.
533
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,040
But when the end does come,
534
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:46,272
I want you to write about me,
"Exit Laughing."
535
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,240
You better go now. He's had enough.
536
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:53,992
- Come on, let's go. Come on.
- Yes.
537
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,478
- Doctor.
- Yes?
538
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,078
I want to thank you
for what you're doing for Homer.
539
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,920
- It's not very much.
- I know all about it.
540
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,639
You do? Well...
541
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,200
Leaving your hometown
to come to New York,
542
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,156
giving up your whole practice.
543
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,795
My whole practice is right in that room.
544
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:25,669
The poor kid.
545
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:28,709
Poor Homer.
546
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:33,480
No! No! Wait a minute.
547
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:34,880
There's gotta be a mistake.
548
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,316
- Shrimp cocktails for 3,000.
- No! I protest!
549
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,560
This must be the wrong room!
550
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,516
- Who ordered these shrimp cocktails?
- No!
551
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:46,560
...popcorn, chewing gum!
552
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:50,109
Candy, peanuts, popcorn, chewing gum!
553
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,356
Ladies and gentlemen,
554
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,597
Homer Flagg
has just entered Yankee Stadium.
555
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,069
I ask this distinguished gathering
to rise in tribute.
556
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,399
# Who is the bravest? #
557
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:11,035
# The very bravest by far #
558
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,716
# You are the bravest #
559
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:19,590
# Homer Flagg, you are #
560
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,076
We thank you. Be seated.
561
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,993
And now,
Homer will throw out the first ball.
562
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:34,710
The first ball for us,
perhaps the last one for him.
563
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,075
Mr Flagg.
564
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,080
If you're too weak to throw it
all the way to the pitcher,
565
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,960
just toss it to me, and I'll relay.
566
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:45,393
Oh, no, thank you.
567
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:55,520
There will be a change in the line-up
for New York.
568
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:56,509
Now pitching...
569
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,317
I think I'll have
570
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,193
this filet mignon with soufflé,
571
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,235
and then some vichyssoise.
572
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,309
Duck a I'orange aux truffles is nice,
573
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,120
and for dessert,
I'll have some of those petit fours.
574
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,439
I'll leave it to you.
575
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,960
You bring me
everything you can think of.
576
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,713
- Why should I worry about my weight?
- Homer.
577
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,278
- Don't eat the food here, it'll kill you.
- But I'm hungry.
578
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:04,360
I'll run next door to the delicatessen.
I'll get you a nice corned beef sandwich.
579
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,920
Oh, I wouldn't want you to go
to that trouble.
580
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,591
I assure you, it's an honour.
581
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,195
Hey.
582
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,480
How does a fellow get through to you?
583
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,760
Oh, I'm sorry. I was watching Homer.
584
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,760
I've tried everything.
You know, some boys and girls,
585
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,360
when they dance,
pay attention to each other.
586
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,000
- Oh?
- May sound like a radical idea to you,
587
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,720
but why don't you give it a try?
588
00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:38,518
I'm sorry, Steve.
I'm paying attention now.
589
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,000
What did you want to tell me?
590
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:46,233
# How do you speak to an angel? #
591
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:52,831
# I'm completely in the dark #
592
00:37:55,160 --> 00:38:00,678
# When you know
that you've just met an angel #
593
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:09,237
# is there a proper remark? #
594
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:16,152
# We were alone for a moment #
595
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:23,551
# Why was I lost in a cloud?
596
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:30,914
# Do you speak to an angel in a whisper?
597
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:38,552
# Or do you just say I love you #
598
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:43,552
# out loud? #
599
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:54,476
# We were alone for a moment #
600
00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:00,711
# Why was I lost in a cloud? #
601
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:06,756
# Do you speak to an angel in a whisper? #
602
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,913
# Or do you just say #
603
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:16,158
# I love you #
604
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:23,072
# out loud? #
605
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:27,117
Let's see what Homer's doing.
606
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,917
Maybe he's got a girl for me.
607
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:31,713
Especially for you.
608
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,557
Eat. Eat. Enjoy yourself.
609
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,671
Thank you.
610
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:37,869
Thank you.
611
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,796
- Having fun?
- Kind of.
612
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,440
But sometimes I get a little depressed.
613
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:46,080
Like before,
when we walked in, everybody moaned.
614
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,799
They all looked at me
like I was an iodine label.
615
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:49,955
Hold it!
616
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,680
That ought to wring their hearts.
617
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,760
I used to love New York when it went
gaga over some celebrity
618
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,680
and danced in the street
with a neon light around its heart.
619
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:02,798
But I'm getting fed up with the trick tears
and the phoney lamentations over you.
620
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,800
I'm glad they're phoney.
621
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,200
Kind of makes everything
all right in a way.
622
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:08,680
- Makes what all right?
- Well...
623
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:09,476
- Makes what all right?
- Well...
624
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,560
Homer means he doesn't like
to see these people suffer.
625
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:13,834
They love to suffer.
626
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:17,040
Yeah, for good clean fun,
there's nothing like a wake.
627
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,720
Please, let's not talk shop.
628
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,440
Come on now,
this conversation's getting me down.
629
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,000
Let's loosen up a bit.
A little champagne, please.
630
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,800
- That's the word. Champagne.
- Champagne.
631
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:25,869
- Buckets of it.
- Buckets of it.
632
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:26,955
- White champagne.
- White champagne.
633
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,149
- Pink champagne.
- Pink champagne.
634
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:29,395
- Blue champagne.
- Blue champagne.
635
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:31,480
Mix it all together
and force it down my throat.
636
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,880
This is my last fling,
and I'm gonna fling it.
637
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,031
- No, Homer, it's not on your diet.
- Big mouth.
638
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,600
Waiter, bottle of ginger ale for Mr Flagg.
639
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,480
Bottle of ginger ale for Mr Flagg.
640
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,677
- Domestic.
- Domestic.
641
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:50,959
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
642
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,992
May I offer greetings
to this star-studded array of celebrities.
643
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,633
Tonight, there is one among us
644
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,354
who adds a bit of unaccustomed drama
to our revels.
645
00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,879
Here's your ginger ale.
646
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,149
Thanks very much.
647
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,714
There he sits, undaunted by fate,
a brave smile on his lips,
648
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,958
drinking in the charm, the glitter,
the gay sounds of life.
649
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,160
Don't pay any attention to the label.
650
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,320
You've got champagne
in the ginger ale bottle.
651
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:15,153
Big mouth, he got ginger ale
in the champagne bottle.
652
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:22,195
- "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may."
- Thank you.
653
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,880
On with the show, my little actors all,
654
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:26,320
for New York is New York,
655
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,400
and though its heart breaks, it dances.
656
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,389
Tonight!
657
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,268
Tonight, my friends,
658
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,789
you are not the famous people
of Broadway.
659
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,320
Tonight, you are a little chorus
laughing and pirouetting
660
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,311
to afford one last brief hour...
661
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:45,791
- Here's your water, Homer.
- Who wants water?
662
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:50,310
- Vodka.
- Oh, vodka.
663
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,229
- Only for you.
- For me.
664
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,874
Compliments, Waiters' Union,
Local 603.
665
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,995
- Now?
- Who's stopping?
666
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,640
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
if the judges are ready,
667
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:20,189
we will start Wonderland's
internationally famous Jitterbug Final.
668
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:27,549
I wanna dance.
669
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,240
Ladies and gentlemen,
never have I been so deeply touched.
670
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:33,840
Homer Flagg has asked permission
to enter our dancing contest.
671
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,229
One final gauntlet thrown into the face
of the Grim Reaper.
672
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,032
-
Shall we let him?
- No!
673
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:39,878
- Yes!
- Yes!
674
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000
Homer, you're very fortunate
this evening.
675
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,360
My friends, we are indeed
very happy to present
676
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,920
last year's contest winner,
Miss Sheree North.
677
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,600
# You're gonna dance with me, baby #
678
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,318
# That's what you're gonna do #
679
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,040
# You're gonna dance with me, baby #
680
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,320
# I've got my eye on you #
681
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,480
# Come on and dance it up, baby #
682
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,720
# This is my lucky day #
683
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:11,960
# We're gonna win a cup, baby #
684
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,440
# We'll take the prize away #
685
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:18,672
# I've got to have my baby
or I'd rather wind up dancing alone #
686
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,920
-
# No other gal #
-
# No! #
687
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,280
# I wanna winner not a beginner #
688
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,480
# No other guy for you, baby #
689
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,840
# What makes you think you're free? #
690
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:29,920
# Tell all the others
to dance with their brothers #
691
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:31,717
# That's how it's got to be #
692
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,600
# We'll win the cup
Steal the prize #
693
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,680
# Right before their very eyes #
694
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:41,231
# 'Cause you're gonna dance
with me, baby #
695
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:11,834
Give him air.
696
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:13,269
Give him some air.
697
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,512
- Is he all right?
- He's hurt.
698
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,993
Come on, give him some air.
699
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,760
Doctor, I want to know the worst.
700
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,360
We go to press in 15 minutes.
701
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,720
Oh, Oliver. Is there a chance, Steve?
702
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:25,360
Say something. Say something.
703
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,960
Here's a new bulletin
on the condition of Homer Flagg,
704
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,000
who collapsed last night at Wonderland.
705
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,200
The Mayor of New York
has rushed to Homer's side
706
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:35,760
to extend the city's sympathy.
707
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,040
And the following is a statement
708
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,350
issued from the sick room at 9:15
by Dr Stephen Harris.
709
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,960
Quote. Homer is holding his own.
Unquote.
710
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,918
Here. We'll go halfies.
711
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,756
Oh, Steve. We were so nervous.
It took you so long.
712
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,240
I had to go clear over to
the Belleflower Hospital
713
00:46:16,240 --> 00:46:17,719
- for the latest drugs.
- Oh, yeah.
714
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:22,160
- Sorry, no visitors.
- The
Chronicle has to know.
715
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,280
Yes, but, Doctor, I have
a very important appointment!
716
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,440
Oh, I'm sure
it won't take much longer now.
717
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:28,320
The Mayor wants to take your pulse.
718
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,720
Oliver wants to pull a sheet
over your head.
719
00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:34,076
That's what this dog wants to do.
Can't we send him back?
720
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:40,158
That's a pedigreed basset hound,
a gift from the Governor of Kentucky.
721
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,920
You don't want to insult
the Bluegrass State, do you?
722
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,754
No, but why couldn't they send me
a horse I could ride out of town?
723
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:49,553
Oh, my head.
724
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:54,233
You have what is known in
the medical annals as
la hangover.
725
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,520
I got worse than that,
I got a conscience.
726
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,351
I'm a liar, that's what I am.
727
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:01,517
Worst liar that ever lived.
728
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,356
I'd shoot myself, only I'm afraid
it might make me feel better.
729
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,393
Here, drink this.
730
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:15,439
Go ahead, drink it.
731
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:31,394
What was that I drank?
732
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:33,590
Tomato juice, Worcestershire,
733
00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:38,369
Tabasco, horseradish and a raw egg.
734
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:44,520
- Why didn't you give me medicine?
- Medicine? Never carry it.
735
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,480
- It's too dangerous.
- What college did you graduate from?
736
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,118
- Who graduated?
- Oh.
737
00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:54,240
I don't care how important it is!
What I'm doing is more important!
738
00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:55,880
You think you've got troubles.
739
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,838
Look at me.
For the first time in my life, I'm in love.
740
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,480
Just a moment, please.
She's out there now.
741
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,755
She's been begging to get in to see you.
742
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:11,031
Homer, I want to go straight.
743
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,239
The works, preacher,
white picket fence.
744
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:16,552
She won't listen to me.
745
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:21,160
She'll listen to every cockeyed story
you tell her, but me, she won't listen to.
746
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:22,832
Will you do me one favour?
747
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,194
You want I should die? Oh, Doctor.
748
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,200
I don't want you to die.
Just tell Wally what I said.
749
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,350
The works, marriage.
750
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:34,950
She'll believe you
even when you're telling the truth.
751
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:36,954
Is it the truth?
752
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:39,869
- Do you want to marry her?
- Yes.
753
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:44,598
Okay, Steve. I'll tell her.
754
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,514
Thanks, Homer. I...
755
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:51,828
Thanks.
756
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,272
Yeah, well... Goodbye.
757
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,273
He wants to see you.
758
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,912
Please, it'll be much easier
if they're alone.
759
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,910
I'm glad you wanted to talk to me.
760
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:12,596
You see, I'm going away,
761
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,800
and I thought
I might not see you again until...
762
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:17,756
You're going away? Where?
763
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:21,914
- Just to Albany.
- What for?
764
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:25,511
Well, just to see the Governor.
765
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,594
What are you doing in Albany
with the Governor?
766
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:37,592
It's about me, huh?
767
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:43,030
It's about a monument in Central Park.
768
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:45,429
What monument?
769
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:48,559
Your monument, Homer.
770
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:54,158
I don't want any monument.
771
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:56,514
Why not?
772
00:49:58,520 --> 00:49:59,714
Well,
773
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:03,112
because I hate pigeons.
774
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,357
The city wants you to have it.
775
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:08,831
And I'm glad I told you about it.
776
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:16,313
I want you to know now and always
that I think you're magnificent.
777
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,116
I wish you wouldn't say that, Wally.
778
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,316
I don't feel magnificent at all.
779
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:24,229
I know.
780
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:26,320
And that's what
makes you so magnificent.
781
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:29,995
Why do we always have to talk about
me and monuments and things?
782
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,080
Why don't we
talk about something cheerful, like...
783
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,914
...marriage and a home and a family?
784
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:39,000
- Why, Homer.
- And Steve can give you all that, too.
785
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,149
Steve?
786
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,520
Well, I know you think
he's not the kind to settle down,
787
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,317
but with you, he would.
788
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,116
Who wouldn't with a girl like you?
789
00:50:49,720 --> 00:50:53,554
You're so understanding, and kind,
790
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:56,114
and sweet,
791
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,159
and beautiful and...
792
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,555
I wish I could think of another word.
793
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:07,840
Homer, did Steve ask you
to tell me all this?
794
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:09,200
Well, what difference does that make?
795
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:10,679
- He's a...
- Did he?
796
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,479
That's pretty hard to answer,
except to say yes.
797
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:20,953
I think that's the most unselfish
and beautiful thing I ever heard.
798
00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:24,837
Well, Steve's like that, unselfish and...
799
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:27,358
I wasn't talking about him.
800
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,510
Oh, how could I have been so blind?
801
00:51:30,720 --> 00:51:32,551
I know you'd never lie to me.
802
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,360
You're in love with me, aren't you?
803
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:37,839
Yes, I am, Miss Cook.
804
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,216
Mr Flagg, will you marry me?
805
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,000
But Steve's in love with you.
No, no, he's the one you should marry.
806
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,036
There's no future in marrying me.
807
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:53,040
- That's the most heartbreaking...
- No. No.
808
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:54,680
Oh, what if all we have
is a couple of weeks?
809
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:56,398
A handful of perfect hours.
810
00:51:57,200 --> 00:52:00,000
- No, no.
- And I'll be there at the end, sailor.
811
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,389
I'll be there saying goodbye.
812
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:05,593
Yes, yes.
813
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,431
- Steve! Steve!
- Goodbye.
814
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,115
Steve!
815
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:20,640
- Well, what happened?
- Is it the end?
816
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:22,960
- Well, he just fainted.
- I'll get out another extra.
817
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,200
Mayor, can you perform
a wedding ceremony tomorrow?
818
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,280
- Why, of course I can.
- Wally.
819
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,669
- You'll be best man.
- Best man?
820
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:31,155
Mayor...
821
00:52:32,720 --> 00:52:35,029
I tried, Doc, but she wanted me.
822
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:37,796
You must have tried awfully hard.
823
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:40,351
I don't feel very good.
824
00:52:56,240 --> 00:52:59,471
# Champagne and wedding cake #
825
00:52:59,960 --> 00:53:03,240
# Oh, what a celebration it will be #
826
00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:06,915
# There'll be
champagne and wedding cake #
827
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:11,108
# The day that you belong to me #
828
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:14,840
# Nine foot high and 10 foot wide #
829
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,991
# The biggest wedding cake
you've ever seen #
830
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,880
# The champagne bubbles
can solve all your troubles #
831
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,668
# So try a glass
and you'll know what I mean #
832
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:29,632
Gee, Wally, I...
833
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:34,195
I don't usually have trouble talking,
and I'm...
834
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,633
But I guess
I do have trouble talking to you.
835
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:44,790
# How do you speak to an angel? #
836
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:50,997
# I'm completely in the dark #
837
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:57,632
# When you know
that you've just met an angel #
838
00:53:58,240 --> 00:54:05,157
# Is there a proper remark? #
839
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:10,675
# We were alone for a moment #
840
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:16,795
# Why was I lost in a cloud? #
841
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:23,914
# Do you speak to an angel in a whisper? #
842
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:30,998
# Or do you just say I love you #
843
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,955
# out loud? #
844
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:53,152
# Do you speak to an angel in a whisper? #
845
00:54:53,760 --> 00:55:00,632
# Or do you just say I love you #
846
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:06,755
# out loud? #
847
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:20,549
# I love you, I love you, I love... #
848
00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:21,715
Hello.
849
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:23,760
You're really going
to go through with this, huh?
850
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:25,880
Why shouldn't I? She loves me.
851
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:28,160
What happens when she gets tired
of waiting for you to keel over?
852
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,310
She loves me. She'll be happy.
853
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:32,440
And after the wedding,
I'll tell her the whole thing,
854
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:34,680
and we'll have a big laugh over it.
855
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:37,520
If you really believe she loves you,
you'll tell her before you marry her.
856
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:38,920
Yeah? Well, you're just jealous.
857
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:42,160
And if you want to be a spoilsport,
why don't you tell her?
858
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:43,760
Oh, sure, why don't we tell everybody?
859
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:45,400
We're both in this up to our necks.
860
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,440
If this city ever finds out
what kind of a fraud you are,
861
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:50,440
they'll lock you up
and throw the warden away.
862
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,280
I couldn't do it to you.
863
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:53,920
Oh, it's awfully big of you.
864
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:56,000
I'm taking my stuff
and I'm going across the hall,
865
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,280
so you and Wally can have
the whole place to yourselves.
866
00:55:58,280 --> 00:55:59,554
Thanks a lot.
867
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,272
And believe me,
I don't give you three weeks to live.
868
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:10,115
Yes?
869
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:13,997
- Hi, Steve.
- Hi.
870
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:18,280
I know it's bad luck,
871
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:20,360
but I wanted to see Homer
before the wedding.
872
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:20,792
But I wanted to see Homer
before the wedding.
873
00:56:34,240 --> 00:56:35,514
Well, he's gone.
874
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:39,440
Don't worry. You couldn't be that lucky.
He's around here somewhere.
875
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,960
- Wally.
- Please, Steve, let go of me.
876
00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:45,040
You're not gonna go through with it,
are you?
877
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:46,553
- Yes.
- Why?
878
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,040
Because the world owes Homer
a little happiness.
879
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:50,473
You're not the world.
880
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,228
You're in love with me.
You are, aren't you?
881
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,400
- What are we going to do about it?
- Nothing.
882
00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:15,480
You'll just have to wait until
Homer's gone.
883
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:16,993
I should live so long.
884
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:19,589
Wally.
885
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,111
We are gathered here together
886
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,796
to join this man and this woman
887
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,431
in bonds of holy matrimony.
888
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:40,391
If any of you know
any just or legal reason why...
889
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:43,515
...these two
should not be thus joined,
890
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:46,559
speak now or forever hold your peace.
891
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:53,588
Do you, Wally Cook, take Homer Flagg
to be your lawful wedded husband,
892
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:56,470
to love, honour and cherish him,
893
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:59,349
to comfort him
in sickness and in health?
894
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:00,469
I do.
895
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:02,758
And you, Homer Flagg,
896
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:06,032
do you take this woman
to be your lawful wedded wife?
897
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:11,160
No, because she doesn't love me.
898
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:13,720
- Homer.
- Well, it's true. You just pity me.
899
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:15,790
You were only marrying
a sinus condition, anyhow.
900
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:17,148
- Now, Homer.
- Bye.
901
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:18,235
But, Homer, no.
902
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,400
What's the matter with him?
What did he mean?
903
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,840
Oh, it's sad. His case is more advanced
than I thought.
904
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,280
You see, the poisoning has reached
his lobus maximus.
905
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,316
- His what? His lobus...
- Maximus.
906
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:32,240
- Let me get to him first.
- All right.
907
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:33,958
Mayor, help me get through.
908
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:36,840
Homer, what are you doing?
909
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:38,640
I'm packing my things
and I'm going back to Desert Hole,
910
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,840
where I'll never have to
wear these again.
911
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:43,280
You acted like a man,
but you can't run away.
912
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:45,000
Yeah? Well, she'll be after me again,
913
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:46,592
begging me to marry her.
914
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:48,800
And next time, I'll be too weak to resist,
915
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:50,640
and I'll hate myself
every morning for years.
916
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,880
You can't hide. You're a national figure.
917
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:54,600
Well, I don't feel like a national figure.
918
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,920
I'm just gonna sneak away
with my hat over my eyes
919
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:58,640
through the park and down the alley.
920
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:00,358
Then on a boat to Sing Sing.
921
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:02,398
- Wally.
- Protect me.
922
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,200
Don't let her come in.
If she kisses me again, I'm a goner.
923
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:08,120
You got my word, but if she gets
past me, there's no way out.
924
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:10,640
- What'll I do?
- I'll leave that entirely up to the boy
925
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:13,600
who was quick-witted enough
to get us into this mess.
926
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:16,034
I told her
it reached your lobus maximus.
927
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:18,640
- You take it from there.
- Oh, you mean...
928
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:19,675
Yeah.
929
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:24,708
Is he in there?
930
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,393
Well? Well? Well?
931
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:28,800
I'd much rather you wouldn't see him
932
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:30,960
- in his present condition.
- Well, what's the matter with him?
933
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,040
No, no, the Doctor's absolutely right,
Wally.
934
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:36,040
- We'll just send in a photographer.
- No, I want to know the worst.
935
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:38,680
Look, Doctor,
I want to talk to you a moment, just...
936
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:40,880
- Homer!
- Where are you?
937
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:42,480
- Homer?
- Where is he? What happened to him?
938
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:44,789
We're over target! Bombs away!
939
00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:47,472
Hurrah! A direct hit!
940
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:50,799
Bombs away!
941
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:53,157
Bombardier to pilot. Reload!
942
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:55,360
Homer, don't you know who I am?
943
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,320
Yes. You're our commanding officer.
944
00:59:57,320 --> 00:59:59,788
And we'll win the war for you, too.
945
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:02,953
I told you not to come in.
946
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,435
Espionage, eh? Bombs away!
947
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:06,834
Direct hit, men.
948
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:10,633
- Major.
- Yes?
949
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:12,034
Is it all right if I send someone in
950
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:14,071
to photograph you
for the
Air Force Journal?
951
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:15,428
No. You're an enemy!
952
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:18,599
This is silly.
953
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:22,435
Direct hit.
954
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:27,633
Please try and forget.
955
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:28,749
Oh, but...
956
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:31,551
Direct hit! Good work, men.
957
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:45,160
All right, Homer.
Homer, come on. Come on down.
958
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:46,354
Come on.
959
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:54,635
Will you stop playing games
and get down here?
960
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:00,200
- You still here? Go on home.
- Oliver, you've got to listen to me.
961
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:02,840
There are just three doctors,
three great men in this world,
962
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:04,840
who really know the score
on radiation poisoning.
963
01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:06,680
- They might save him. Yes.
- Save him?
964
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,920
This whole town is getting
tired of the way he's hanging on.
965
01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:11,840
There's such a thing as too much pluck.
966
01:01:11,840 --> 01:01:15,799
- Besides, our circulation is dropping.
- Then this is the way to build it up.
967
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,320
We'll make it your personal campaign.
968
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:20,360
Think of the headlines, Oliver.
969
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,760
"Humanitarian Editor
Saves Hero's Life."
970
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,560
Why, they'll be
building monuments to you.
971
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:26,676
And there's always politics, Oliver.
972
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:30,669
Think what it means to be a senator.
Your mail goes free.
973
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:36,040
I'm not interested in personal glory,
974
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,880
but it might sell some newspapers.
You get those doctors on the phone.
975
01:01:38,880 --> 01:01:40,029
Yes, sir.
976
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:42,520
- Long distance, please.
- Long distance?
977
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:44,033
Wait a minute, where are they?
California?
978
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,000
- Oh, no, one's in Hong Kong.
- No.
979
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:47,035
- One in Vienna.
- No.
980
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:48,673
- And one in Paris.
- No.
981
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:52,076
Hello. I'm calling for Oliver Stone.
982
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:54,920
I'd like to place a call
to Dr Chung See Lee,
983
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,115
Hong Kong General Hospital,
Hong Kong.
984
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,600
Thank you. The operator.
985
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:03,637
Look, operator, let me know
when my three minutes are up.
986
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:10,480
Steve, are you still so set against
any other doctors looking at Homer?
987
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:13,360
- That's the last thing I'd want to see.
- But if they didn't treat him,
988
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,040
if they just took him to Belleflower
Hospital and looked him over?
989
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:19,720
That's the last thing I want to see.
Can't we talk about something else?
990
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:22,920
We've had a beautiful morning.
You dragged me out of bed at 8:30.
991
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,639
I think we've fed every squirrel
in Central Park.
992
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:29,400
Oh, no, don't bother. You've had me
eating out of your hand long ago.
993
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,073
I guess I'd better get back to the office.
994
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:37,958
What's the matter?
995
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:41,200
I've been looking all over town
for that perfume.
996
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:46,758
Isn't this lovely?
997
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:48,712
Let me buy you a quart.
998
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:51,193
$104.
999
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:53,800
Just take a sniff and let's go.
1000
01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:56,560
- Do you think you can afford even that?
- Oh, I'm loaded.
1001
01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:59,440
- You saw my office in Desert Hole.
- Oh, luxurious.
1002
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:02,320
I own all the adhesive tape outright.
After all...
1003
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:06,791
# Financial responsibility
is a day to day affair #
1004
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,831
# But for the first time in my life #
1005
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:15,833
# I'm beginning to care #
1006
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:28,198
# Money burns a hole in my pocket #
1007
01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:33,075
# How I wish I had millions of dollars #
1008
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:34,952
# and nothing to do #
1009
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:40,478
# but just buy pretty presents for you #
1010
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:48,829
# Money burns a hole in my pocket #
1011
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:52,796
# How I wish I had oil wells in Texas #
1012
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:57,795
# to keep me supplied with money #
1013
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:00,509
while I sit by your side #
1014
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:06,108
# Every day of the week #
1015
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:10,275
# we would visit the stores #
1016
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,919
# All the beautiful things you seek #
1017
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:16,759
# would soon be yours #
1018
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:21,637
# 'Cause money #
1019
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:25,435
# burns a hole in my pocket #
1020
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:31,597
# So I'm bringing you perfume and candy
and roses of red #
1021
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:38,353
# And wishing
they were diamonds instead #
1022
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:47,480
Come on, cut it out, fellas!
I'm being forced into this!
1023
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:51,268
Wait till Dr Harris finds out.
You guys will be in trouble.
1024
01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,075
We'll set him down here
while we open the door.
1025
01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:14,079
- Look out! Look out!
- Stop that man!
1026
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,879
- Homer!
- Taxi! Taxi!
1027
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:20,872
- Taxi!
- Come back here, Homer!
1028
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,956
Homer! Come back, Homer!
1029
01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:24,638
- Come back here, Homer!
- Taxi!
1030
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,200
I'm Homer Flagg.
They're after me. Let's go!
1031
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:31,430
- You bet we will.
- Good.
1032
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:34,400
Oh, no! These are the guys!
1033
01:05:40,600 --> 01:05:41,960
What happened here? Convention?
1034
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:43,280
Oh, nothing to worry about, Doctor.
1035
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,320
Your patient's safely on his way
to the hospital.
1036
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:46,878
Oh, fine. Fine.
1037
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:53,600
- My patient! Hospital! What hospital?
- Belleflower.
1038
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:54,999
- What?
- Belleflower!
1039
01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:57,680
Belleflower! Belleflower?
You know what they'll do to him?
1040
01:05:57,680 --> 01:05:59,113
They'll examine him!
1041
01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:01,233
You knew it all the time.
1042
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:02,720
Steve, it's for his own good.
1043
01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:03,960
What do you know what's good for him?
1044
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,200
- I was only trying to help.
- "I was only trying to help."
1045
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:08,156
I gotta get to him first! Taxi!
1046
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:10,598
Belleflower! Taxi!
1047
01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:18,879
Homer! You all right?
1048
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:19,989
Get me out of here!
1049
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:22,160
They got me strung up here
like a plucked chicken!
1050
01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:24,640
Well, we'll both be dead ducks
if we don't hurry!
1051
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:26,640
The specialists are already here!
1052
01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:28,560
One's from Vienna,
one's from Hong Kong,
1053
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:30,920
- and the other's from Paris.
- We should be in all those places.
1054
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:32,480
- Let's go!
- No, it's too late!
1055
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:33,720
We gotta fool the specialists.
1056
01:06:33,720 --> 01:06:35,600
I gotta get your pulse up to 160.
1057
01:06:35,600 --> 01:06:37,680
- What for?
- To send you into a coma.
1058
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:40,274
- What's a coma?
- Never mind. Put up your dukes.
1059
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:43,320
- Hit me.
- No, I like you.
1060
01:06:43,640 --> 01:06:45,870
- Now hit me.
- I still like you.
1061
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:47,600
I know, but the doctors are waiting.
1062
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:49,880
You got us into this mess,
you little phoney.
1063
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:52,680
I was just trying to have some fun.
You were in on the whole thing!
1064
01:06:52,680 --> 01:06:55,080
But it was your idea first.
Now come on, hit me!
1065
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:57,360
Who are you hitting,
you mail order M.D., you?
1066
01:06:57,360 --> 01:06:58,920
Which stands for "miserable doctor"!
1067
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:00,717
- Attaboy!
- I'll mobilise you!
1068
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:02,560
- Come on! Hit me!
- You better watch your step.
1069
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,280
I'll make mincemeat out of you, boy!
1070
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:05,400
Attaboy. Hit. Come on.
1071
01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:09,480
You asked for this, buddy. You're gonna
get yourself in a heck of a lot of trouble!
1072
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:11,516
Look at that! Watch that footwork!
1073
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:13,433
Attaboy, come on!
1074
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:22,550
More, more, more, more!
Hold it! Hold it!
1075
01:07:25,520 --> 01:07:27,520
Come on, let's go! Hit me! Attaboy.
1076
01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:30,040
Hit me. Oh, you can hit me.
Come on, try harder.
1077
01:07:30,040 --> 01:07:32,600
- You can hit me.
- Well, let me hit you. Stand still.
1078
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:33,999
- Come on.
- I'll hit you.
1079
01:07:34,120 --> 01:07:37,112
Let me hit you. Let me hit you once.
1080
01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:41,035
Now, listen carefully.
1081
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:43,520
When you come to, just pant and groan.
1082
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:44,840
What do you mean, when I come to?
1083
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:48,040
Well, when you regain consciousness,
yell every time the doctors touch you.
1084
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:49,029
Yeah, yeah.
1085
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:52,840
- Okay, now, say good night to Papa.
- Goodnight, Papa.
1086
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:53,955
Good night.
1087
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:03,314
Dr Harris.
1088
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:10,549
Steve. Steve.
1089
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:11,715
Dr Harris!
1090
01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:15,791
Dr Harris, are you in there?
1091
01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:18,920
Don't come in, nurse.
Steve. Steve, get up.
1092
01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:20,560
Dr Harris, Dr Egelhofer of Vienna
1093
01:08:20,560 --> 01:08:23,360
is waiting for your patient
in the fluoroscope room.
1094
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:25,280
Did you hear me, Dr Harris?
1095
01:08:25,280 --> 01:08:27,680
And Dr Nassau of Paris
and Dr Lee of Hong Kong
1096
01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:30,040
have just entered the scrubbing room.
1097
01:08:33,040 --> 01:08:34,359
Please hurry!
1098
01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:40,000
Dr Harris, please hurry.
The doctors are waiting for you!
1099
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:41,638
I'll be right there, nurse.
1100
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:58,760
Here's the patient
from Room 433, Doctor.
1101
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:00,080
Seems to be in a coma.
1102
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,480
I shall make the medical judgements
here, gentlemen.
1103
01:09:02,480 --> 01:09:04,357
I can dispose with your advice.
1104
01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:12,559
Who is?
1105
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:14,552
Dr Nassau
de Paris.
1106
01:09:15,120 --> 01:09:17,200
Good,
kommen Sie rein, Doctor.
1107
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:23,555
- Nassau!
- Oh, hello, Doctor!
1108
01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:30,720
Yes, but
der verstunkene patient
seems to be in perfect health.
1109
01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:33,188
Oh, no, no, the Dr Nassau.
1110
01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:37,200
The radiation poisoning set in
the reflex all over.
1111
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:38,792
That is not true!
1112
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:40,751
The reflexes,
Herr Doctor.
1113
01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:45,198
- See?
- No!
1114
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:47,432
That is not true!
1115
01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:56,632
Please, Doctor!
1116
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:05,114
Horrible,
oui?
1117
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:06,719
I do not understand!
1118
01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:08,193
It's easy.
1119
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:10,550
- Who is?
- The consultation, Doctor.
1120
01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:12,875
- The examination!
- But I...
1121
01:10:14,920 --> 01:10:15,909
The X-ray!
1122
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:17,917
Here, study the X-ray.
1123
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:19,917
Examine the X-ray, Doctor.
1124
01:10:32,280 --> 01:10:33,918
I am Dr Nassau.
1125
01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:37,350
Und I am the one and only
Dr Emile Egelhofer.
1126
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:40,754
You're not going to kiss me a little bit?
1127
01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:44,560
This is
Monsieur Flagg?
1128
01:10:44,560 --> 01:10:45,549
This...
1129
01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:52,920
I must examine the patient.
1130
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:58,200
The
verstunkene patient is
in the last stages of the last stages,
1131
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:00,360
and better your eyes
shouldn't be looking on him.
1132
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:03,080
- You should be looking on the X-rays.
- But,
Herr Doctor.
1133
01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:04,200
I have travelled
many thousands of miles.
1134
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:05,880
But the X-rays
will show what happened with the man.
1135
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:07,880
It is very important
that I examine the patient.
1136
01:11:07,880 --> 01:11:10,678
Study the X-ray.
Study and you'll see that...
1137
01:11:13,040 --> 01:11:15,235
Dr Nassau, listen.
1138
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:18,432
Where are you?
I must get back to my mice!
1139
01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:24,000
You must be
Honourable Doctor Egelhofer.
1140
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:27,280
I am Honourable
Doctor Chung See Lee, Hong Kong.
1141
01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:30,238
I am delighted.
Shall we examine the patient together?
1142
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:32,399
Oh, no! No time.
1143
01:11:32,520 --> 01:11:35,480
I must get back to Hong Kong
to honourable wife,
1144
01:11:35,480 --> 01:11:37,152
who is not very honourable.
1145
01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:43,800
Funny? No.
Let us look at X-ray and see patient
1146
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:46,640
- who have radiation poisoning.
- Listen to me, I... No, no, listen...
1147
01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:03,160
Dr Lee, I am Dr Nassau, Paris.
1148
01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:04,878
I will examine the patient.
1149
01:12:07,120 --> 01:12:08,075
But, Doctor!
1150
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:11,760
The patient, the examination is no good
without the X-ray.
1151
01:12:11,760 --> 01:12:13,320
But, Doctor, this is not ethical.
1152
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:16,437
I came all the way from Hong Kong
to examine the patient.
1153
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:23,637
-
Monsieur...
- Doctor.
1154
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:27,153
Monsieur, these are the X-rays
of a woman!
1155
01:12:28,440 --> 01:12:32,120
Goes to show just
how sick
verstunkene patient is.
1156
01:12:32,120 --> 01:12:33,109
Verstunkene?
1157
01:12:33,680 --> 01:12:36,035
Verstunkene. Confucius say...
1158
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:41,514
... verstunkene patient.
1159
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:46,635
You study X-ray.
Study X-ray, read X-ray.
1160
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:49,157
Oh, no, wrong room.
1161
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:51,953
Better room here, Doctor.
1162
01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:54,753
Nice old room. Good room, Doctor.
1163
01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,840
Oh, no fair, no fair. Two against one.
1164
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:04,229
- Doctor!
- Oh, no fair!
1165
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:06,191
Trois against
un.
1166
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:08,272
Drei against
eins.
1167
01:13:08,520 --> 01:13:10,158
- Doctor...
- Bye!
1168
01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:12,113
- Where's Homer?
- I Homer.
1169
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:14,356
- The jig is up!
- What jig?
1170
01:13:15,440 --> 01:13:16,395
Goodbye!
1171
01:13:17,680 --> 01:13:20,560
I told you we should have put him
in the Psycho Ward!
1172
01:13:20,560 --> 01:13:21,959
What is going on? Who is he?
1173
01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:23,115
He's Homer Flagg.
1174
01:13:23,240 --> 01:13:25,200
- Are you all right, Dr Harris?
- Harris?
1175
01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:27,920
Oh, fine. He jumped me and scalped
me. Last stages of radiation poisoning.
1176
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:29,960
Let me handle him.
I'll take care of him. Thank you.
1177
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:31,600
Wait! Such a case I've never seen.
1178
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:34,120
I would like to proceed
with the examination.
1179
01:13:34,120 --> 01:13:35,872
What are we gonna do?
1180
01:13:39,960 --> 01:13:42,720
Sir, now we are ready
for the examination.
1181
01:13:42,720 --> 01:13:44,278
Over here, please.
1182
01:13:50,440 --> 01:13:53,432
- Normal. Perfect.
- Wait!
1183
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:57,840
Something in the region
of the left aorta!
1184
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:05,920
My dear Mr Stone,
there is no vestige, no trace,
1185
01:14:05,920 --> 01:14:10,038
no single real symptom of any
radiation poisoning in that young man.
1186
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:12,916
Only a
verstunkene dollar watch.
1187
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:16,240
Are you sure you examined
the right man?
1188
01:14:16,240 --> 01:14:17,673
We are positive.
1189
01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:21,040
Here is the full report
of our examination.
1190
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:24,510
- Here are the X-ray pictures.
- The X-rays,
Monsieur Stone.
1191
01:14:25,200 --> 01:14:27,880
And here, Mr Stone, our bill.
1192
01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:36,313
It's witchcraft!
1193
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:40,552
Yes, Mr Stone?
1194
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:44,800
Send me in four sluggers
from the Circulation Department!
1195
01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,552
Yes, sir.
1196
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:49,640
Hi, Oliver. Here's today's lead.
1197
01:14:49,640 --> 01:14:52,279
I only hope the poor kid can still read.
1198
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:55,480
"Homer Flagg, laughing child
of the Golden West,
1199
01:14:55,480 --> 01:14:58,472
"faced the lengthening shadows
today undaunted..."
1200
01:14:59,920 --> 01:15:02,520
What's the matter with you, Oliver?
You're not listening to me.
1201
01:15:02,520 --> 01:15:04,960
I am sitting here, Miss Cook,
1202
01:15:04,960 --> 01:15:11,149
toying with the idea of removing
your heart and stuffing it like an olive!
1203
01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:15,353
Now, now, just hold on, Oliver.
The strain's been too much for you.
1204
01:15:15,480 --> 01:15:17,789
- I'll go get a doctor.
- Doctor!
1205
01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:21,468
You wouldn't know a doctor
if you met one!
1206
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:24,880
Look! Look at that skeleton!
1207
01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:26,279
Not a bone missing.
1208
01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:29,553
Glowing with health and fat!
1209
01:15:30,320 --> 01:15:32,993
Fat that I paid for! Look at it.
1210
01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:34,992
Rub your nose in it!
1211
01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:37,520
There you are. Homer Flagg!
1212
01:15:37,520 --> 01:15:40,800
Homer Flagg,
the biggest fraud of the century!
1213
01:15:40,800 --> 01:15:43,520
He's out-slickered the city slickers.
1214
01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:46,637
Three weeks on the town
at your expense.
1215
01:15:47,560 --> 01:15:50,313
Oh, come on, Oliver,
where's your sense of humour?
1216
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:52,796
You were going to marry him!
1217
01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:56,591
He would have done to you
what he did to the paper!
1218
01:15:57,480 --> 01:16:00,720
Why, that two-timing little fraud!
1219
01:16:00,720 --> 01:16:02,870
Where's your sense of humour?
1220
01:16:05,720 --> 01:16:06,994
You sent for us, boss?
1221
01:16:07,120 --> 01:16:11,320
Well, these four Harvard freshmen
will give Mr Flagg what he deserves.
1222
01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:14,000
There won't be enough left of him
to shove under your fingernail!
1223
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:15,274
Oh, no, you don't.
1224
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:16,800
That won't save the
Chronicle.
1225
01:16:16,800 --> 01:16:19,480
When I find those two desert rats,
I'll give this story a finish
1226
01:16:19,480 --> 01:16:21,560
that'll dampen every eye
from here to Gowanus Canal!
1227
01:16:21,560 --> 01:16:24,154
Well, you'd better or you'll be in it!
1228
01:16:25,640 --> 01:16:28,677
- What do you want us to do, boss?
- Let us pray.
1229
01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:39,440
Boy, what a celebration, huh, Steve?
1230
01:16:39,440 --> 01:16:42,440
We really made monkeys out of
those specialists, didn't we, Steve?
1231
01:16:42,440 --> 01:16:44,240
That's what they get
for paying attention in class
1232
01:16:44,240 --> 01:16:45,960
and graduating with high honours.
1233
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:50,440
- Where do we go from here?
- Open up a little office on Park Avenue.
1234
01:16:50,440 --> 01:16:51,429
What for?
1235
01:16:51,560 --> 01:16:55,280
'Cause I'm the first doctor to discover
a cure for radiation poisoning.
1236
01:16:55,280 --> 01:16:58,240
We'll be rich, famous,
never have to go back to Desert Hole.
1237
01:16:58,240 --> 01:17:01,437
Oh, boy!
New York will be our hometown!
1238
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:07,074
# I love New York #
1239
01:17:08,720 --> 01:17:14,033
# I love New York #
1240
01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:20,794
# All the streets in this city
are one and the same #
1241
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:25,195
# And I leave it to you #
1242
01:17:25,320 --> 01:17:29,836
# what's in a name? #
1243
01:17:31,440 --> 01:17:34,671
# Oh, the folks who live
on a street like 11th #
1244
01:17:34,840 --> 01:17:39,470
# Are as fine as
the family on 107th #
1245
01:17:42,040 --> 01:17:43,359
That's Homer Flagg!
1246
01:17:47,840 --> 01:17:50,912
# I tell you #
1247
01:17:51,040 --> 01:17:57,513
# Every street's a boulevard
in old New York #
1248
01:17:58,640 --> 01:18:03,236
# Every street's a highway of your dreams #
1249
01:18:05,360 --> 01:18:09,478
# It's a thrill to shop on 34th Street #
1250
01:18:10,080 --> 01:18:12,594
# Or down in Union Square #
1251
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:16,235
# We like the people you meet
on Mulberry Street #
1252
01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:19,720
# Have you ever been there? #
1253
01:18:20,560 --> 01:18:26,635
# Every street's a boulevard
in old New York #
1254
01:18:26,760 --> 01:18:32,073
# So keep smiling
and you'll never wear a frown #
1255
01:18:33,360 --> 01:18:36,033
# Just remember there's the East Side #
1256
01:18:36,160 --> 01:18:37,832
# And the West Side #
1257
01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:40,520
# And Uptown and Down #
1258
01:18:40,640 --> 01:18:41,993
# That's why #
1259
01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:47,592
# we're proud to be a part
of New York town #
1260
01:19:22,040 --> 01:19:23,917
- 34th Street!
- 34th Street!
1261
01:19:25,320 --> 01:19:27,231
- Union Square!
- Union Square!
1262
01:19:29,240 --> 01:19:30,514
- Mulberry Street!
- Mulberry Street!
1263
01:19:31,760 --> 01:19:34,752
# Have you ever been there? #
1264
01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:37,148
# We like the people you meet
on Mulberry Street #
1265
01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:40,992
# Have you ever been there? #
1266
01:20:42,560 --> 01:20:46,394
# Every street's a boulevard
in old New York #
1267
01:20:46,720 --> 01:20:50,554
# Streets are paved with happiness
in old New York #
1268
01:20:50,720 --> 01:20:52,551
# We're glad that we're a part of it #
1269
01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:54,557
# We're happy that we came #
1270
01:20:54,680 --> 01:20:57,831
# Each sidewalk
is a concrete path to fame #
1271
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:01,754
# Just remember there's the East Side #
1272
01:21:01,880 --> 01:21:02,869
# East Side #
1273
01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:03,989
# And West Side #
1274
01:21:04,120 --> 01:21:05,075
# West Side #
1275
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:07,668
# And Uptown and Down #
1276
01:21:08,040 --> 01:21:10,952
# In this great, big metropolis #
1277
01:21:11,080 --> 01:21:17,110
# known as New York town! #
1278
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:28,800
A toast to Oliver Stone, our absent host!
1279
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:30,080
Yeah, and he'll be very happy to hear
1280
01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:32,160
that we learnt to drink this stuff
twice as fast.
1281
01:21:32,160 --> 01:21:34,549
He's such a kind man, so generous.
1282
01:21:36,840 --> 01:21:39,240
Now, a toast to Dr Stephen Harris,
that's me,
1283
01:21:39,240 --> 01:21:42,640
discoverer of a cure
for that dread disease Desert Holeitis.
1284
01:21:42,640 --> 01:21:44,232
Yeah.
1285
01:21:44,640 --> 01:21:45,834
Who's that?
1286
01:21:45,960 --> 01:21:48,633
Probably the Mayo brothers
for a bit of advice.
1287
01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,200
You better get into bed.
1288
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:52,520
And remember, teeter on the brink.
1289
01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:55,557
Don't worry, when I teeter, I teeter, boy!
1290
01:22:02,480 --> 01:22:03,708
Come in.
1291
01:22:04,080 --> 01:22:06,833
- Wally!
- And how's the little sailor?
1292
01:22:07,000 --> 01:22:09,400
Oh, I wouldn't want you to see him
in his present condition.
1293
01:22:09,400 --> 01:22:12,597
Oh, that's all right, Doctor.
I've got a strong stomach.
1294
01:22:12,920 --> 01:22:13,875
Wally!
1295
01:22:15,520 --> 01:22:16,509
Wally!
1296
01:22:20,160 --> 01:22:21,878
How are you, Homer?
1297
01:22:22,600 --> 01:22:25,239
His head's awfully warm.
1298
01:22:25,560 --> 01:22:27,198
The poor kid.
1299
01:22:28,840 --> 01:22:31,479
- Sailor.
- Yes, Captain?
1300
01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:34,800
I know you ran out on me once
to spare me, but...
1301
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:38,680
...I was wondering if you could
find it in your heart to marry me now.
1302
01:22:38,680 --> 01:22:39,874
I'll be strong.
1303
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:42,760
I think you'd better leave now.
His temperature is rising.
1304
01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:45,920
Oh, I'm feeling much better.
This morning I heard a bird sing.
1305
01:22:45,920 --> 01:22:48,753
Yeah, I heard the same bird sing,
Homer. Sing Sing.
1306
01:22:51,680 --> 01:22:53,960
The fever's coming back.
1307
01:22:53,960 --> 01:22:56,918
Oh, open a window. I'm burning up.
1308
01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:00,879
98.6. Normal.
1309
01:23:01,120 --> 01:23:03,873
That shows you how crazy he is.
He thinks he's normal.
1310
01:23:10,440 --> 01:23:11,759
I'm drowning.
1311
01:23:20,960 --> 01:23:23,838
- What's this?
- That's his 2:00 medicine.
1312
01:23:24,160 --> 01:23:26,880
No need denying him anything now.
He's teetering on the brink.
1313
01:23:26,880 --> 01:23:29,920
- Oh, and he wants to go formal.
- Yeah, he wants to go formal.
1314
01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:31,680
That shows you
what condition his brain is in,
1315
01:23:31,680 --> 01:23:34,200
doesn't know where he is. Where he is!
1316
01:23:34,200 --> 01:23:35,997
Oh, Hong Kong!
1317
01:23:36,120 --> 01:23:38,040
And sometimes
he doesn't know what he is.
1318
01:23:38,040 --> 01:23:40,600
- This morning he thought he was a dog.
- No!
1319
01:23:41,160 --> 01:23:45,631
Oh, not ordinary dog,
but honourable Chinese retriever!
1320
01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:03,200
Come on. Come on, boy. Come on.
Come on.
1321
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:05,560
Mama wants to pet you goodbye
for the last time.
1322
01:24:05,560 --> 01:24:08,313
That's a nice boy. Nice boy.
1323
01:24:09,200 --> 01:24:10,880
- Wally!
- And you keep your hands off of me,
1324
01:24:10,880 --> 01:24:13,240
- you singing quack!
- Should I try, "Bombs Away"?
1325
01:24:13,240 --> 01:24:15,400
Well, you'd better try something,
because in a couple of hours,
1326
01:24:15,400 --> 01:24:17,360
the whole city of New York
is going to be banging at the door,
1327
01:24:17,360 --> 01:24:19,360
howling for your blood!
1328
01:24:19,360 --> 01:24:21,000
I ain't got enough for everybody.
1329
01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:22,069
- Wally.
- Yes?
1330
01:24:22,200 --> 01:24:23,920
- How much do you know?
- The works.
1331
01:24:23,920 --> 01:24:25,320
The doctors tipped off Oliver.
1332
01:24:25,320 --> 01:24:29,000
Oh, that
verstunkene Egelhofer should
have stayed in Vienna with his mouse!
1333
01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:31,560
They'll boil you in oil in Macy's window!
1334
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:33,840
After you marinate
for a week in Gimbel's!
1335
01:24:33,840 --> 01:24:36,200
You got us into this, Wally.
I told you no doctors.
1336
01:24:36,200 --> 01:24:38,480
- Oh, let's get out of here!
- Let's pack our clothes and...
1337
01:24:38,480 --> 01:24:41,160
Now, come on, wait a minute!
Nobody get hysterical.
1338
01:24:41,160 --> 01:24:43,320
I'm in this as deep as you are,
so is the paper.
1339
01:24:43,320 --> 01:24:44,469
Now, I've got an idea.
1340
01:24:44,600 --> 01:24:47,200
Sit down at that table, you dying swan!
1341
01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:49,160
Do what Wally says.
Sit down at the table.
1342
01:24:49,160 --> 01:24:52,640
- Now, I want you to write.
- Write.
1343
01:24:52,640 --> 01:24:54,640
- Write what?
- Your suicide note.
1344
01:24:54,640 --> 01:24:57,280
My suicide note!
Oh, no, there must be another way!
1345
01:24:57,280 --> 01:24:58,440
Well, we haven't much time.
1346
01:24:58,440 --> 01:25:00,240
Will you sit down
and write what I tell you?
1347
01:25:00,240 --> 01:25:01,920
"Dear metropolis of New York..."
1348
01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:04,000
- How do you spell "dear"?
- Oh, never mind, I'll do it.
1349
01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:06,360
Now, listen carefully.
We're going to go down to the river.
1350
01:25:06,360 --> 01:25:08,920
I'll photograph Homer jumping,
the
Chronicle will print the picture,
1351
01:25:08,920 --> 01:25:10,760
- you'll be waiting below in a rowboat.
- That's great!
1352
01:25:10,760 --> 01:25:11,909
Why can't I be in the boat?
1353
01:25:12,040 --> 01:25:13,720
You will be,
as soon as we pull you out of the river.
1354
01:25:13,720 --> 01:25:15,440
Then, we'll try to figure a way
to sneak you out of town
1355
01:25:15,440 --> 01:25:17,320
while all of New York is crying over you.
1356
01:25:17,320 --> 01:25:19,550
I may be crying a little myself.
1357
01:25:19,880 --> 01:25:21,472
Now, come on, let's go.
1358
01:25:24,160 --> 01:25:25,434
Wally!
1359
01:25:27,000 --> 01:25:29,440
What happens if he can't find me
after I jump in the river?
1360
01:25:29,440 --> 01:25:31,520
- Well, we'll search for you, of course.
- Well, of course.
1361
01:25:31,520 --> 01:25:33,880
And if you do go under,
you'll go under happy,
1362
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:36,200
knowing that your last story wasn't a lie!
1363
01:25:36,200 --> 01:25:40,478
Well, the first lie wasn't a lie, Wally.
I just wanted to see New York!
1364
01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:52,109
Hello.
1365
01:25:52,680 --> 01:25:53,829
What?
1366
01:25:54,840 --> 01:25:56,956
Well, stop crying and read it to me!
1367
01:25:57,600 --> 01:25:59,511
"Dear metropolis of New York,
1368
01:26:01,480 --> 01:26:03,232
"I have enjoyed everything.
1369
01:26:05,480 --> 01:26:10,110
"Now there's only one thing
left to enjoy, your river."
1370
01:26:10,640 --> 01:26:14,680
Now, I'm gonna see to it that
you get the Journalism Merit Badge,
1371
01:26:14,680 --> 01:26:18,560
if you don't call the fire or the police
departments for a couple of hours.
1372
01:26:18,560 --> 01:26:20,198
I called them first.
1373
01:26:22,280 --> 01:26:23,520
What's the matter, boss?
1374
01:26:23,520 --> 01:26:25,960
We've got to see to it
that Homer ends up in that river
1375
01:26:25,960 --> 01:26:27,440
before the police get to him.
1376
01:26:27,440 --> 01:26:29,078
Come on, let's go!
1377
01:26:35,560 --> 01:26:38,720
- Come on, take off your coat.
- Take off my coat! What for? It's cold!
1378
01:26:38,720 --> 01:26:40,680
Come on, this rowboat is costing us
50 cents an hour.
1379
01:26:40,680 --> 01:26:42,120
Fifty cents an hour! Big deal!
1380
01:26:42,120 --> 01:26:44,160
And don't jump until someone sees you.
That's more evidence.
1381
01:26:44,160 --> 01:26:46,280
And swim underwater to the boat
for about 50 yards.
1382
01:26:46,280 --> 01:26:48,560
- Fifty yards? That's all I can swim!
- That's all I can row.
1383
01:26:48,560 --> 01:26:50,120
- Take off your pants!
- Here?
1384
01:26:50,120 --> 01:26:52,160
I thought this was a family newspaper.
1385
01:26:52,160 --> 01:26:53,560
Here, you don't know what you're doing!
1386
01:26:53,560 --> 01:26:54,959
- All right, go!
- No!
1387
01:26:55,080 --> 01:26:56,798
- Come on, take the picture!
- Right.
1388
01:26:56,920 --> 01:26:57,909
Oh, we're sunk!
1389
01:26:58,040 --> 01:26:59,029
- Go on, jump!
- No!
1390
01:26:59,160 --> 01:27:01,040
Jump! By the time you hit the river,
we'll be in the rowboat!
1391
01:27:01,040 --> 01:27:02,359
- Come on!
- Come on!
1392
01:27:06,520 --> 01:27:08,320
I won't do it! I won't do it!
1393
01:27:08,320 --> 01:27:10,200
You can put it in your paper,
I'm not gonna jump!
1394
01:27:10,200 --> 01:27:11,840
It's already in the paper
that you jumped!
1395
01:27:11,840 --> 01:27:13,120
We're just waiting for the pictures.
1396
01:27:13,120 --> 01:27:15,800
Well, I can change my mind, can't I?
I'm an American citizen.
1397
01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:18,189
Homer, we'll give you a military funeral!
1398
01:27:18,640 --> 01:27:22,160
- Homer, don't jump.
- Oh, no, I won't.
1399
01:27:22,160 --> 01:27:24,960
- Please, Homer, don't jump.
- No, I won't.
1400
01:27:24,960 --> 01:27:27,520
- Homer, don't jump.
- All right, already, I'm not gonna do it,
1401
01:27:27,520 --> 01:27:28,635
but don't push me, pal!
1402
01:27:28,760 --> 01:27:30,760
Please, for my sake, don't jump!
1403
01:27:30,760 --> 01:27:33,672
All right, you talked me out of it,
but don't push!
1404
01:27:37,480 --> 01:27:39,118
That way. Go get him!
1405
01:27:51,840 --> 01:27:53,034
Oh, no! No!
1406
01:27:53,160 --> 01:27:55,200
- Don't jump, Homer.
- No, I won't!
1407
01:27:55,200 --> 01:27:58,080
What are you following me for?
Why don't you keep the crowd back?
1408
01:27:58,080 --> 01:27:59,640
- Leave me alone, will you!
- Wait a minute!
1409
01:27:59,640 --> 01:28:00,709
Homer, don't jump!
1410
01:28:00,840 --> 01:28:03,877
- Well, that's what I'm trying to tell them!
- Don't jump!
1411
01:28:11,480 --> 01:28:12,799
Help me.
1412
01:28:14,080 --> 01:28:15,149
No!
1413
01:28:16,040 --> 01:28:17,951
Goodbye, Homer!
1414
01:28:21,200 --> 01:28:23,000
May I have a little quiet, please!
1415
01:28:23,000 --> 01:28:26,276
Good people of New York,
fellow citizens,
1416
01:28:26,800 --> 01:28:29,240
we've come to the end of our quest!
1417
01:28:29,240 --> 01:28:31,993
- Bugler!
- Your Honour, step aside, please.
1418
01:28:41,880 --> 01:28:44,838
Listen! They're playing my song!
1419
01:28:57,760 --> 01:29:01,753
It's such a nice ceremony. It kind of
makes me feel like I should lie down.
1420
01:29:02,960 --> 01:29:06,794
You know, the nicest thing the Mayor
ever did was to marry us in secret.
1421
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:10,037
- Goodbye. Don't work too hard.
- I won't.
1422
01:29:11,000 --> 01:29:14,320
Steve, do you think it's safe
that we hang around New York like this?
1423
01:29:14,320 --> 01:29:19,040
I know the Mayor gave us these jobs,
but after all, everybody knew me.
1424
01:29:19,040 --> 01:29:22,480
Homer, you were just a flash in the pan
in old Manhattan.
1425
01:29:22,480 --> 01:29:24,920
In a week,
they will have forgotten your name.
1426
01:29:24,920 --> 01:29:27,040
In fact, you don't even need these.
1427
01:29:27,040 --> 01:29:30,430
Well, if that's the case,
we might as well go to work.
1428
01:29:34,720 --> 01:29:41,478
# Every street's a boulevard #
in old New York
1429
01:29:42,080 --> 01:29:47,871
# So keep smiling
and you'll never wear a frown #
1430
01:29:49,280 --> 01:29:54,354
# Just remember there's the East Side
and the West Side #
1431
01:29:54,480 --> 01:29:57,438
# And Uptown and Down #
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