Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,011
[dramatic music]
2
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:18,724
♪ ♪
3
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,993
‐ Okay.
All right. Mm‐hmm.
4
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:28,863
[indistinct chatter]
5
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,002
‐ Here are the best, Von Duct.
6
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,668
‐ All right. Yeah.
Da. Mm‐hmm.
7
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,066
Okay, put that over there.
8
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,866
‐ Good morning, gentlemen.
9
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,441
Who here knows
what day it is today?
10
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,540
‐ Good morning, Dr. Havoc.
11
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,983
‐ Von Duct, Kyle, Steve,
12
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,378
do you know
what day it is today?
13
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,710
‐ Well, Dr. Havoc,
it's the day that we‐‐
14
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,184
‐ It's rocket day!
15
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:51,182
‐ Dr. Havoc...
[coughs, clears throat]
16
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:54,354
The launch is not scheduled
for another 7 1/2 hours.
17
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:57,124
[giggles] You don't need to be
in that suit yet.
18
00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,534
‐ No. Yeah, I know.
I just, uh‐‐
19
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,556
you know, I just want to be
ready, you know?
20
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,202
‐ That suit is designed
to be worn in space,
21
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,997
specifically for temperatures
well below zero.
22
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,700
‐ I know.
‐ You're going to get very hot.
23
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:13,013
‐ Well, I'm the rocket man,
and it's rocket day,
24
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,906
so I want to wear
the spacesuit, okay?
25
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,809
‐ All right, Dr. Havoc.
You're the boss.
26
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,422
‐ All right, boys,
how's the laser looking?
27
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,175
‐ All systems
are operational, sir.
28
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:26,093
The laser is fully charged
and ready to be put into orbit.
29
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,146
‐ All right.
30
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:28,924
Now, that's what
I'm talking about.
31
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,492
That's...
32
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,160
[groans] So cool.
33
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,189
That's so cool.
34
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:36,533
‐ Uh, Dr. Havoc, are you okay?
35
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,870
‐ Huh? Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just...
36
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,065
super pumped, that's all.
37
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,998
That's all, just...
38
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,613
Whoo! Oh.
39
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,536
‐ You know, you might be
overheating in that suit.
40
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:51,412
‐ Nope. The suit stays on.
41
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,011
Actually, my body's just
starting to get acclimated.
42
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,724
I can feel it now.
43
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,446
‐ Are you sure?
44
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,951
‐ Hey, if I wasn't good
in this suit,
45
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,694
could I pull off this sweet
moonwalk?
46
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,860
Ah?
[grunts]
47
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,459
♪ ♪
48
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,062
‐ Dr. Havoc! Dr. Havoc!
49
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:13,074
‐ [groans]
‐ Wake up!
50
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,296
Please wake up!
It's time to go to space!
51
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,143
‐ What?
Von Duct?
52
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,239
What happened?
53
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,640
‐ Well, your body overheated
54
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,442
from being in the spacesuit
for too long.
55
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,053
So we just let you rest
in the cockpit.
56
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,276
‐ What?
57
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,480
How long was I out?
58
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,752
‐ About seven hours.
59
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,080
We're about to launch.
60
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,024
‐ Holy shit. Really?
61
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,990
Wait, uh, Von Duct.
62
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,118
‐ Yes, Dr. Havoc.
63
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,834
‐ Do you mean to tell me that
not only did I close my eyes,
64
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,827
but I also fell asleep...
65
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,670
and missed the thing?
66
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,426
[laughs] Huh?
[men groan]
67
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:50,974
Oh, man. I did not want
to close my eyes.
68
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,941
I really didn't want
to fall asleep,
69
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,180
'cause I could have missed
something, Von Duct.
70
00:02:56,176 --> 00:03:00,176
[laughs] And I don't want
to miss a thing.
71
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,680
Huh? Get it?
[chuckles]
72
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,423
Von Duct, do you get it?
"Armageddon"?
73
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:08,319
‐ Yes, Dr. Havoc,
we all get it.
74
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,491
‐ Hey, did you‐‐
hey, hey, hey, guys.
75
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,090
Did you‐‐hey, guys.
76
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,862
Did you guys hear what I did?
77
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,930
[both sighing]
Yes, Dr. Havoc.
78
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,299
‐ It's a song
from "Armageddon."
79
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,427
Those are the words.
80
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,102
‐ Okay, Dr. Havoc‐‐
81
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,440
‐ Ah, ah, ah.
[chuckles]
82
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,165
Von Duct,
remember how we rehearsed?
83
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:27,341
‐ Okay.
[sighs]
84
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:31,240
Ground control
to Major Havoc...
85
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:34,354
we are ready to launch.
86
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,917
‐ This is Major Havoc
to ground control.
87
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,947
I read you loud and clear.
88
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,592
Oh, man, I almost forgot‐‐
89
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,487
the sweet mixtape I made
for this trip.
90
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:45,989
[bang, rumbling]
Aah!
91
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,232
[dramatic music]
92
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,828
‐ Uh, Professor Von Duct?
93
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,330
‐ He'll be fine.
94
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,001
He's a rocket man.
95
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:57,799
♪ ♪
96
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,414
‐ Okay, Von Duct,
97
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,106
I am ready
to activate the laser.
98
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,209
‐ Stupendous, Dr. Havoc.
99
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:07,681
‐ Wow.
I wish you guys could see this.
100
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,351
It's, uh, hard to believe
I'm gonna be taking over
101
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:13,520
that tiny world
with this giant space laser.
102
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,120
We're really doing it,
you guys.
103
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:18,592
‐ Yeah. It's, uh‐‐
it's pretty cool.
104
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,632
‐ They're gonna be all like,
"Oh, no, Dr. Havoc,
105
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:24,428
don't blow us up
with your giant space laser."
106
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,971
And then I'm gonna be like,
"Um, I‐I‐‐um"...
107
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,639
You know, actually,
I haven't worked out
108
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,867
exactly what I'm going to say,
but it'll be pretty sweet.
109
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,883
‐ Okay, now,
you have the instructions
110
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,906
I've prepared for you, correct?
111
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,211
‐ Yes, I do.
112
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,982
‐ Steve and Kyle will stay
in the ship
113
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,221
and coordinate with us to get
the laser positioned in orbit.
114
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:47,387
You can now begin
the activation sequence.
115
00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:49,087
‐ All right. Sounds good.
116
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,989
Okay. Let's see...
117
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:55,102
Step on, turn on the laser.
118
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,425
Okay.
[switch clicks, laser whirs]
119
00:04:57,430 --> 00:05:00,200
Hmm.
Hey, uh, Von Duct...
120
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,770
I think I'm missing
some instructions.
121
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,170
‐ Nope.
122
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,372
You have successfully
activated the laser.
123
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,544
‐ That's it?
124
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,942
Are you fucking kidding me?
125
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:15,154
I came up to outer space
to press a goddamn button?
126
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,518
‐ Well, actually, Dr. Havoc,
127
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:20,117
we could have activated
the laser remotely
128
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,960
before you even launched.
129
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,685
‐ What? Why the hell didn't you
tell me that?
130
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:29,263
Hey. Hey! Hey!
131
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,832
Von Duct! Von Duct!
132
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,101
‐ Yes, Dr. Havoc?
133
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,228
‐ The fucking henchmen
just left without me.
134
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:37,444
Call them up and tell them
to turn the fuck around.
135
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,107
God, they are
so fucking stupid.
136
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,306
‐ I'm sorry, Dr. Havoc.
137
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,278
I'm afraid
that I can't do that.
138
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,846
‐ What? W‐why not?
I‐I'm gonna die out here!
139
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,677
‐ Ah, you know what?
140
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,622
I think you're right.
141
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,947
‐ Von Duct, what the hell
is going on?
142
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,023
Wait. Where are you?
143
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,291
That's not the lair.
144
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,629
‐ No, I'm afraid not.
145
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,795
This is my super lair.
146
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,455
‐ What the fuck?
147
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:04,833
‐ Yes, Dr. Havoc.
148
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,431
You are now part
of my master plan.
149
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,974
[laughing evilly]
150
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:14,470
What you have just done
is activate the space laser
151
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:17,784
which I will be using
to take over the world
152
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,447
at precisely 12:00 p. m.
tomorrow.
153
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,777
The henchmen‐‐
154
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:25,721
well, the henchmen all work
for me now.
155
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,889
‐ You son of a bitch.
156
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,518
How did you turn
all my henchmen against me?
157
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,233
[all humming]
158
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,626
‐ Listen up, everyone.
159
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,228
You no longer work
for Dr. Havoc.
160
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,369
I am now your new leader.
‐ Okay.
161
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,625
‐ Okay, cool.
both: Yeah.
162
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,973
‐ Yeah.
‐ That sounds great.
163
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,567
‐ Oh, sure.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
164
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,699
‐ Cool, cool.
165
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,743
‐ God damn it, I hate them.
166
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,009
So you mean to tell me
that this entire time
167
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,709
you've been building
a secret lair for yourself?
168
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,481
Where?
‐ [cackles]
169
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,581
What is more super secret
170
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,653
than a base hidden
171
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:01,552
in the most secure location
imaginable?
172
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,994
[laughs]
Directly underneath yours.
173
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,560
This base has everything.
174
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,829
A state‐of‐the‐art
command center,
175
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:10,998
a storehouse
of heavy artillery,
176
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:13,427
and most of all‐‐
ooh, this one is my favorite‐‐
177
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:17,243
[laughs] A fleet of obedient,
fully mature henchmen
178
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,767
who are loyal to me
and only me!
179
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,244
[laughs]
180
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,442
And by this time tomorrow,
181
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,954
the world will be
under the control
182
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:30,547
of the greatest super villain
of all time‐‐
183
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,790
Professor Von Duct!
184
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,787
Sorry you won't be around
to see it, Dr. Havoc.
185
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,460
Good‐bye.
[giggles]
186
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,629
‐ Von Duct! Von Duct!
187
00:07:41,628 --> 00:08:04,988
Damn you! Come on!
13255
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.