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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,011 [dramatic music] 2 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:18,724 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,993 ‐ Okay. All right. Mm‐hmm. 4 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:28,863 [indistinct chatter] 5 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,002 ‐ Here are the best, Von Duct. 6 00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,668 ‐ All right. Yeah. Da. Mm‐hmm. 7 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,066 Okay, put that over there. 8 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,866 ‐ Good morning, gentlemen. 9 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,441 Who here knows what day it is today? 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,540 ‐ Good morning, Dr. Havoc. 11 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,983 ‐ Von Duct, Kyle, Steve, 12 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,378 do you know what day it is today? 13 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,710 ‐ Well, Dr. Havoc, it's the day that we‐‐ 14 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,184 ‐ It's rocket day! 15 00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:51,182 ‐ Dr. Havoc... [coughs, clears throat] 16 00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:54,354 The launch is not scheduled for another 7 1/2 hours. 17 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:57,124 [giggles] You don't need to be in that suit yet. 18 00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,534 ‐ No. Yeah, I know. I just, uh‐‐ 19 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,556 you know, I just want to be ready, you know? 20 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,202 ‐ That suit is designed to be worn in space, 21 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,997 specifically for temperatures well below zero. 22 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,700 ‐ I know. ‐ You're going to get very hot. 23 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:13,013 ‐ Well, I'm the rocket man, and it's rocket day, 24 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,906 so I want to wear the spacesuit, okay? 25 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,809 ‐ All right, Dr. Havoc. You're the boss. 26 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,422 ‐ All right, boys, how's the laser looking? 27 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,175 ‐ All systems are operational, sir. 28 00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:26,093 The laser is fully charged and ready to be put into orbit. 29 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,146 ‐ All right. 30 00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:28,924 Now, that's what I'm talking about. 31 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,492 That's... 32 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,160 [groans] So cool. 33 00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,189 That's so cool. 34 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:36,533 ‐ Uh, Dr. Havoc, are you okay? 35 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,870 ‐ Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just... 36 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,065 super pumped, that's all. 37 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,998 That's all, just... 38 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,613 Whoo! Oh. 39 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,536 ‐ You know, you might be overheating in that suit. 40 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:51,412 ‐ Nope. The suit stays on. 41 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,011 Actually, my body's just starting to get acclimated. 42 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,724 I can feel it now. 43 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,446 ‐ Are you sure? 44 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,951 ‐ Hey, if I wasn't good in this suit, 45 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,694 could I pull off this sweet moonwalk? 46 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,860 Ah? [grunts] 47 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,459 ♪ ♪ 48 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,062 ‐ Dr. Havoc! Dr. Havoc! 49 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:13,074 ‐ [groans] ‐ Wake up! 50 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,296 Please wake up! It's time to go to space! 51 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,143 ‐ What? Von Duct? 52 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,239 What happened? 53 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,640 ‐ Well, your body overheated 54 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,442 from being in the spacesuit for too long. 55 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,053 So we just let you rest in the cockpit. 56 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,276 ‐ What? 57 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,480 How long was I out? 58 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,752 ‐ About seven hours. 59 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,080 We're about to launch. 60 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,024 ‐ Holy shit. Really? 61 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,990 Wait, uh, Von Duct. 62 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,118 ‐ Yes, Dr. Havoc. 63 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,834 ‐ Do you mean to tell me that not only did I close my eyes, 64 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,827 but I also fell asleep... 65 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,670 and missed the thing? 66 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,426 [laughs] Huh? [men groan] 67 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:50,974 Oh, man. I did not want to close my eyes. 68 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,941 I really didn't want to fall asleep, 69 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,180 'cause I could have missed something, Von Duct. 70 00:02:56,176 --> 00:03:00,176 [laughs] And I don't want to miss a thing. 71 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,680 Huh? Get it? [chuckles] 72 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,423 Von Duct, do you get it? "Armageddon"? 73 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:08,319 ‐ Yes, Dr. Havoc, we all get it. 74 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,491 ‐ Hey, did you‐‐ hey, hey, hey, guys. 75 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,090 Did you‐‐hey, guys. 76 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,862 Did you guys hear what I did? 77 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,930 [both sighing] Yes, Dr. Havoc. 78 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,299 ‐ It's a song from "Armageddon." 79 00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,427 Those are the words. 80 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,102 ‐ Okay, Dr. Havoc‐‐ 81 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,440 ‐ Ah, ah, ah. [chuckles] 82 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,165 Von Duct, remember how we rehearsed? 83 00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:27,341 ‐ Okay. [sighs] 84 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:31,240 Ground control to Major Havoc... 85 00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:34,354 we are ready to launch. 86 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,917 ‐ This is Major Havoc to ground control. 87 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,947 I read you loud and clear. 88 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,592 Oh, man, I almost forgot‐‐ 89 00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,487 the sweet mixtape I made for this trip. 90 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:45,989 [bang, rumbling] Aah! 91 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,232 [dramatic music] 92 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,828 ‐ Uh, Professor Von Duct? 93 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,330 ‐ He'll be fine. 94 00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,001 He's a rocket man. 95 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:57,799 ♪ ♪ 96 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,414 ‐ Okay, Von Duct, 97 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,106 I am ready to activate the laser. 98 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,209 ‐ Stupendous, Dr. Havoc. 99 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:07,681 ‐ Wow. I wish you guys could see this. 100 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,351 It's, uh, hard to believe I'm gonna be taking over 101 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:13,520 that tiny world with this giant space laser. 102 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,120 We're really doing it, you guys. 103 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:18,592 ‐ Yeah. It's, uh‐‐ it's pretty cool. 104 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,632 ‐ They're gonna be all like, "Oh, no, Dr. Havoc, 105 00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:24,428 don't blow us up with your giant space laser." 106 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,971 And then I'm gonna be like, "Um, I‐I‐‐um"... 107 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,639 You know, actually, I haven't worked out 108 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,867 exactly what I'm going to say, but it'll be pretty sweet. 109 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,883 ‐ Okay, now, you have the instructions 110 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,906 I've prepared for you, correct? 111 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,211 ‐ Yes, I do. 112 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,982 ‐ Steve and Kyle will stay in the ship 113 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,221 and coordinate with us to get the laser positioned in orbit. 114 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:47,387 You can now begin the activation sequence. 115 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:49,087 ‐ All right. Sounds good. 116 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,989 Okay. Let's see... 117 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:55,102 Step on, turn on the laser. 118 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,425 Okay. [switch clicks, laser whirs] 119 00:04:57,430 --> 00:05:00,200 Hmm. Hey, uh, Von Duct... 120 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,770 I think I'm missing some instructions. 121 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,170 ‐ Nope. 122 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,372 You have successfully activated the laser. 123 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,544 ‐ That's it? 124 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,942 Are you fucking kidding me? 125 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:15,154 I came up to outer space to press a goddamn button? 126 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,518 ‐ Well, actually, Dr. Havoc, 127 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:20,117 we could have activated the laser remotely 128 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,960 before you even launched. 129 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,685 ‐ What? Why the hell didn't you tell me that? 130 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:29,263 Hey. Hey! Hey! 131 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,832 Von Duct! Von Duct! 132 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,101 ‐ Yes, Dr. Havoc? 133 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,228 ‐ The fucking henchmen just left without me. 134 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:37,444 Call them up and tell them to turn the fuck around. 135 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,107 God, they are so fucking stupid. 136 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,306 ‐ I'm sorry, Dr. Havoc. 137 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,278 I'm afraid that I can't do that. 138 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,846 ‐ What? W‐why not? I‐I'm gonna die out here! 139 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,677 ‐ Ah, you know what? 140 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,622 I think you're right. 141 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,947 ‐ Von Duct, what the hell is going on? 142 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,023 Wait. Where are you? 143 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,291 That's not the lair. 144 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,629 ‐ No, I'm afraid not. 145 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,795 This is my super lair. 146 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,455 ‐ What the fuck? 147 00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:04,833 ‐ Yes, Dr. Havoc. 148 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,431 You are now part of my master plan. 149 00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,974 [laughing evilly] 150 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:14,470 What you have just done is activate the space laser 151 00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:17,784 which I will be using to take over the world 152 00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,447 at precisely 12:00 p. m. tomorrow. 153 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,777 The henchmen‐‐ 154 00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:25,721 well, the henchmen all work for me now. 155 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,889 ‐ You son of a bitch. 156 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,518 How did you turn all my henchmen against me? 157 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,233 [all humming] 158 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,626 ‐ Listen up, everyone. 159 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,228 You no longer work for Dr. Havoc. 160 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,369 I am now your new leader. ‐ Okay. 161 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,625 ‐ Okay, cool. both: Yeah. 162 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,973 ‐ Yeah. ‐ That sounds great. 163 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,567 ‐ Oh, sure. ‐ Mm‐hmm. 164 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,699 ‐ Cool, cool. 165 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,743 ‐ God damn it, I hate them. 166 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,009 So you mean to tell me that this entire time 167 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,709 you've been building a secret lair for yourself? 168 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,481 Where? ‐ [cackles] 169 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,581 What is more super secret 170 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,653 than a base hidden 171 00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:01,552 in the most secure location imaginable? 172 00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,994 [laughs] Directly underneath yours. 173 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,560 This base has everything. 174 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,829 A state‐of‐the‐art command center, 175 00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:10,998 a storehouse of heavy artillery, 176 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:13,427 and most of all‐‐ ooh, this one is my favorite‐‐ 177 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:17,243 [laughs] A fleet of obedient, fully mature henchmen 178 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,767 who are loyal to me and only me! 179 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,244 [laughs] 180 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,442 And by this time tomorrow, 181 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,954 the world will be under the control 182 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:30,547 of the greatest super villain of all time‐‐ 183 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,790 Professor Von Duct! 184 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,787 Sorry you won't be around to see it, Dr. Havoc. 185 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,460 Good‐bye. [giggles] 186 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,629 ‐ Von Duct! Von Duct! 187 00:07:41,628 --> 00:08:04,988 Damn you! Come on! 13255

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