Original subtitles

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

[device beeps]

♪ ♪

[device beeps]

‐ Oh, man, how have I never thought of this before?

Here I am, spending fucking years

trying to get my hands on a nuclear bomb

when I could have just taken a bunch of regular bombs

and blown up a nuclear power plant.

[laughs]

Oh, man, talk about your evil life hack.

[crashing]

‐ Not so fast, Dr. Havoc.

‐ Oh, shit.

‐ That's right.

Prepare to have your plans foiled

by none other than...

Superpowered Man.

‐ Wow.

Uh, sorry, this is the first time

I've ever faced a flying superhero.

‐ And I assure you it's going to be your last.

‐ Well, we'll just see about that.

Get him. [gunfire]

Wait, wait, wait.

Um, I'm sorry, are‐‐ are you bulletproof too?

‐ Why, yes, I am.

It's one of the many powers possessed by...

Superpowered Man.

‐ Ah, okay, well,

exactly what other powers do you have?

‐ Okay, well, I can fly.

I'm bulletproof. You got that, right?

‐ Yeah, okay. ‐ Yup, uh, super strength.

‐ Okay, well, that's understandable.

‐ Uh, I've got super speed. ‐ Hmm.

‐ Then there's X‐ray vision,

uh, also heat vision.

‐ Uh‐uh. ‐ Telescopic vision.

‐ Yeah. ‐ Infrared vision.

‐ Okay. ‐ Microscopic vision.

Super hearing, super intelligence, ice breath,

and I can travel through space.

‐ Okay, let's pack it up, guys. ‐ What's that?

‐ Yeah, we're gonna pack everything up and go home,

so, uh, you win.

‐ What do you‐‐ what are you talking about?

We're about to have a battle.

‐ Uh, you have every superpower.

How could I ever beat you?

‐ Hey, listen, I don't have every superpower.

‐ What don't you have, like, fucking time travel?

‐ Well, actually,

thanks to my super strength, super speed,

and ability to travel through space,

I am able to spin the Earth backwards

at such a rapid rate that it does,

in fact, turn back time.

So theoretically, I do have time travel.

‐ Yeah, pack it up.

Come on, guys, let's go. ‐ Okay, wait.

What if I told you that there's a rare space rock

that will render me almost powerless?

‐ Is it easy to get ahold of?

‐ No, almost impossible.

‐ Nope, no, thanks.

Well, it was nice to meet you.

Uh, do you want us to take all these bombs with us,

or you want us to leave some?

‐ No, don't worry, I'll take care of it.

‐ Well, they're kind of all over the place.

You know, it might actually just be easier if we‐‐

‐ Got them.

‐ Yeah. Okay. Come on, guys.

‐ [sighs]

[people screaming]

[dramatic music]

‐ [screams]

‐ Yeah, that's right, run.

Bow down to your new overlord, Dr. Havoc.

‐ Hey, boss.

‐ What? Oh, sorry, guys.

You gotta watch out, because this machine

is unstoppable.

‐ Well, well, Dr. Havoc, we meet again.

[triumphant music]

‐ All right, pack it up.

‐ Oh, come on, you gotta fight me now.

‐ No. No, I don't.

‐ Aw, come on.

‐ No, you're a ridiculous superhero.

Superheroes are supposed to have one,

maybe two powers, not all of them.

‐ Hey, hey, with that laser,

I think you could beat me.

‐ Oh, oh, really? ‐ Yeah, big‐time.

‐ Oh, you think so, huh?

‐ I do. I real‐‐ I really believe that.

‐ Is that what you think? ‐ In my heart of hearts.

‐ Oh, you're thinking that, huh?

‐ I absolutely do, 50‐50 shot, coin flip.

‐ Hey, why don't you flip a coin?

Oh, no, it's up in outer space,

you're so goddamn strong.

It's stupid. Who's gonna get it?

‐ You're stupid. ‐ Oh, I know who will.

You, 'cause you can fly to space.

‐ You're a stupid man.

‐ Yeah. No, pack it up.

‐ Okay, okay. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.

If you stay and fight me,

I will battle you with one arm tied behind my back.

How about that, huh? That's a deal.

‐ No. You have super strength.

Your other arm is still a superpowered arm.

‐ Okay, okay, fair point.

Both arms behind my back.

‐ No. ‐ Both arms, both legs.

‐ No, that still leaves,

like, seven other superpowers you have.

‐ All right, all right,

final offer.

♪ ♪

All right, Dr. Havoc, prepare to do battle with...

Superpowered Man.

[grunts]

[grunting]

Did I get you?

‐ Almost. Getting close.

All right, where was I?

[power whirring]

Huh, it's starting to look a little cloudy.

Sure hope it doesn't‐‐ [screams]

‐ Uh, Havoc, did, uh‐‐

did something happen?

‐ [grunts, sighs]

Uh, hey, Superpowered Man?

‐ Yup.

‐ Can you, uh,

control the weather, by chance?

‐ Uh, no.

‐ So are you telling me you did not just make

a storm cloud appear and drop a lightning bolt on me?

‐ Okay, yeah, that was me.

You're not gonna pack it up, are you?

[engine revving] Havoc?

Havoc?

Havoc?

Havoc, you have the keys to these handcuffs.

Oh, right, I'm Superpowered Man.

[yells]

‐ And so, diary,

I don't feel bad about my defeat today,

because it's completely useless to try to fight a man

with every superpower.

‐ I'll fight him.

‐ God damn it, Nighthook. Jesus.

‐ I'd like to fight the Superpowered Man.

‐ What? Why? You guys are both superheroes.

‐ I, uh, uh‐‐

I've run out of ideas.

‐ Okay, well, I don't think it's gonna

turn out very well for you, man.

‐ How do I find him?

‐ Well, I mean, he's got super hearing, so...

uh, hey, Superpowered Man.

‐ Uh, yeah, guys, what's up?

‐ All right.

Now let's see if you bleed.

[grunting]

‐ Ho‐ho!

‐ Here it comes. Ha! ‐ Ooh.

‐ Combo. [grunting]

Nightpunch.

Nightkick.

And Nighthook.

‐ Ooh, keep trying, buddy.

Come on, you're almost there.

[both grunting]